The Therapy Edit - On 5 ways to declutter your mind

Episode Date: July 24, 2023

In this solo episode of The Therapy Edit, Anna responds to a listeners question about how she can apply the same principles of house decluttering to her mind. Anna offers a few ideas about how you can make some space in your head for calm. We hope you enjoy it and do keep sending your questions and podcast topic requests Anna's way to [e-mail]

Hello and welcome to the Therapy Edit podcast with me, psychotherapist Anna Martha. I'll be bringing you weekly 10 minute episodes to encourage and support your emotional well-being. Hi there, welcome to today's solo episode of the Therapy Edit. One day I will think of a different way to begin a podcast. But for now, that's all that comes to mind. Any suggestions? Please drop me an email. But today I'm talking on five ways. to de-clutter your mind. Easier said than done, but I've got five little tips for you that came as a response to a listener question. Don't forget to drop me an email if you have a little question. I follow so many house accounts, this person said, that recommend ways to declutter and simplify. I wish I could do this to my brain. Labels and plastic drawers for my thoughts. Any tips on how to help with a constant, messy buzz? I do have.

some tips for you and wouldn't it just be amazing if I could just get my label maker and that was a lockdown thing for me. I had so much fun labelling everything. But I would love to be able to get my label maker and just put all of these thoughts into different drawers and stick labels on and file them so that I could just get them out when I felt like I wanted, right, now I'm going to think about school stuff. Now I'm going to worry about this. Now I'm going to process that childhood trauma. I just think, yeah, it would be great, wouldn't it? I bet there are a few boxes we'd leave on the shelf full of feelings and thoughts that are normally incredibly present in our minds.

But these are just some little tips that I thought might help and not to be on an end all, but, you know, let's not overlook the small stuff. Number one, write it out. Write down what's on your mind or journaling, some people like doing, as well as a great way to help you get a clear idea of what is weighing you down. Sometimes we don't even know, do we, what is buzzing around our head because it just feels like a tangled mess. But actually writing it down can really help us get some clarity and also just let some of it go. Because when we write stuff down, we process it differently.

We see it on a page. It simplifies it in some ways. We can create a little order internally when we get it out. When we feel overwhelmed, we can ruminate over all the things we need to do, which can increase these feelings of stress or pressure. Get it out on the page. and then you'll see what you're working with. It's like an over cluttered cupboard. You open it a little bit, everything falls out,

but actually sometimes the best thing we can do and actually the most beneficial, we know because it gives us such a good feeling, is to just let it all spin out, get it all out, and then we know what we're working with. You might want to formulate into a list, perhaps, or you might actually just feel like getting it out of your head was therapeutic in itself.

I think kind of just considering what you might want to delegate to another person, another day, time blocking some stuff in. So you're actually putting some space in your diary to address some of these things that are just weighing heavy on your mind. It might be that you want to create some space with a friend or a therapist just to start actually processing through it. So they're not just buzzing away in the backgrounds, wanting attention and validation. Number two, reassess your boundaries. is if you feel like the reason you take a lot on mentally as well is that you're just used to doing so maybe you're a yes person and you're just that that go-to when people need something emotionally logistically you're that person that people come to before you say yes to what's

being asked of you ask yourself if you can do it wholeheartedly or will you be doing it from a place of depletion or resentment it can really start feeling i know it feels uncomfortable and you start saying no sometimes. But the good thing is, is that you'll be answering from a more authentic place. If a friend messages you and says, can we have a chat? Can we chat tonight? And you know that you're just done in and you're chat with them and you'll listen to everything. But you may well just be thinking, clock watching and just shuffling in, I just shuffling on the sofa thinking, I just needed time and space tonight. So that yes isn't authentic. Maybe you start answering and take a risk to say, you know what, I can't really talk tonight, but my brain is so tired,

I want to give you my full attention, so why don't we meet for coffee on Thursday? Then you're far more likely to be wholehearted, less there with resentment, more there with a real, yes, that will be felt both by you and that friend. You know, sometimes those who struggle with you putting boundaries in place for the first time are often the ones who benefited most from your lack of them. so reassess your boundaries practice your no and everyone will benefit from you feeling more present and able to do your yeses so if you feel like your head is heavy and a lot of that way is just the busyness of life and the overwhelm and the millions of things that you've agreed to

reassess those boundaries start taking the risk and stepping out in saying a no it doesn't have to be a flat no it doesn't have to be harsh there are ways that we can do it we can offer alternatives that actually fit better i mean that we're going to be more present in them know you're worth my book is a good one if you want to explore boundaries a little bit more and especially people pleasing number three is become narrow minded for a moment especially if you're if you just got a lot on decisions decisions to make just so many things calling for your attention and you'll make so many decisions each day and sometimes we're holding in our heads, aren't we, things that we know that we need to make a decision about. Decisions can feel overwhelming. They can really

add to the buzz. So next time you need to make a decision, ask yourself what you feel is right. It's so tempting, isn't it, to look for external direction from others or on the internet when actually sometimes your gut already has the answer. You know what? I think it's really helpful to all. I absolutely love this tool is to think about what would you do if nobody knew? What decision would you make if it didn't matter to anybody else? Because I think this really helps determine whether you're making a decision based on what others might think or you're making it more based on what feels right and authentic to you. Another thing, another tip for decision making is imagine that you have to act that out right now.

Now, imagine that you decide not to go to that thing and you're just at home. Imagine that you decide to go to that thing and you're just going to have to get your shoes on and go now, which one is fitting with you? That can be helpful for some situations. Not all of them, of course, but some. Number four, seek sensory deprivation if you are feeling depleted and exhausted and your head is feeling heavy. Your brain is so consistently stimulated in today's world. There never needs to be an unanswered. a question or a moment of silence and stillness. There is always something to scroll or to listen to. There's answers everywhere and much of them are conflicting and confusing and they give us more information and knowledge is power, yes, but when we're overwhelmed by it, it's not so much.

The more information, noise and stimulation that you are exposed to, the more your brain needs to process. We think, oh, I'm just reading this. I'm just Googling that. Oh, I'm just, they're actually our brains don't know what is useless and what is useful until it has worked through it and processed it and tried to store it somewhere. This takes energy and headspace. So next time you have a free moment, just close your eyes and enjoy some deep breaths. Maybe let the alarm if you're worried about pulling the sleep. You're giving your body so much needed, rare to come across in this fast-paced world sensory deprivation. This will work to tell your stress nervous system that you are safe.

Try it and see how differently you feel after a round of just doing 10 grounding breaths. Maybe you inhale for four and extend your exhale to the count of six or seven. So seek some sensory deprivation when everything feels a bit much. Give your brain a much deserved break and know how much is going in and maybe limit it. Maybe just I've got this app called OneSec that is on my Instagram. email, it just makes me pause before I go into that app asking me, do I actually want another load of info right now? Do I actually want my eyes to be skipping over another huge number of images and stories? Do I have the capacity to process that right now? Number five,

simplify your free time by prioritizing rest. Now, I know it sounds counterproductive, but when you're feeling overwhelmed at all, rest in whatever form you can get it needs to be your priority. think about how we fuel the car before we drive not after and we are far more productive this is researched research to say we're more productive as humans when we do things from a place of rest rather than what we often do them is towards a place of collapse or burnout right or rest at the end of the day when i'm so done in i can't even talk to my partner well how can you fit a little bit of rest into your day. If you have some free time before you tackle any jobs or to-do list, do something that refuels or grounds you, be it a walk, that's my fave, catching up with that

friend or taking a quick nap, your body and mind will absolutely thank you when it comes to picking up the pace again. So I can't put labels on your thoughts and categorise them in nice drawers, but hopefully writing out, re-assessing your boundaries, becoming now, narrow-minded for a moment when it comes to decisions. A little bit of sensory deprivation and simplifying your free time by prioritising rest. We'll help with the internal buzz a little bit. Take care. Thank you so much for listening.

Please do take a moment to subscribe, rate and review as it really helps get these words out to benefit more juggling parents like us. And head to anamatha.com to find my resources on everything from health anxiety to people pleasing, starting at only 20 pounds. And finally, don't forget to pre-order my new book, Raising a Happier Mother, How to Find Balance, Feel Good, and see your children flourish as a result. I can't wait for you to have that. Take care and we'll chat soon.