The Therapy Edit - On 5 ways to ease back into the school routine

Episode Date: September 5, 2022

In this solo episode, Anna gives her top tips to any mums about to face a change in routine who are feeling a sense of worry, stress or overwhelm.

Hello and welcome to the Therapy Edit podcast with me, psychotherapist Anna Martha. I'll be bringing you weekly 10 minute episodes to encourage and support your emotional well-being. Hi there, happy Monday. I have got a really kind of topical episode for you today on five ways to ease back into a school routine or any routine. It could be child care. routine. There's something about September, isn't there? I don't know about you, but I find September now we're in the rhythm of kids schooling. It feels like a new year. A part of me if I go back to the end of July, treaded the school holidays. I think it felt like such a long time spanning

ahead that I had to fill and juggle a little bit more. And I'm sure many of you relate to that where work, if you're working, time to work isn't so abundant, and childcare logistics are a little bit more complicated. So yeah, it just felt like a lot of time ahead and now I'm at the end of it and school is returning and I feel very keen for routine. I feel like my kids are very keen for routine. There is a heck of a lot of bickering and winding up going on. I was singing in the car the other day just innocently singing and my youngest three-year-old goes mommy stop winding me up and I was I don't even think I was doing much more than humming and driving but that's kind of where we're at the moment and so yes I'm keen for a teen but at the same time we know that with the return of

school routine comes a huge amount of other stuff the homework the work the logistics the potential for kind of those curveballs of the new term illnesses that people are exposed to. So I've got five ways to help ease back into it. Number one is to avoid the new year new me mentality. I know it's not a new year, but for me it does feel like it and I'm not alone in that. But it's that sense that it's a new start. It's a new start. And often when we approach these new starts, we can so easily go into that all on a

thing you know it's a new page in the book a new a new chapter let's do this brilliantly right from the off i'm going to implement this and i'm going to start doing this early in the mornings and i'm going to you know we're going to get all our homework done on time we're going to do reading every day for a certain amount of time and we can find ourselves making these promises so i just encourage you if you're wired in that way like i am just to pick a little something you'd to implement if you want to make a change and adopt that my favorite not all of the time but more of the time approach we go in all guns blazing we're just going to fizzle out at the first hurdle so just take it easy avoid the temptation just to think of it as a first page of a brand new

book with those high expectations of everything that it can be just strip it back and think if there is something you want to do, what small thing could you do? And how could you just be a little bit just re-acknowledging your humanness and all of the uncertainty and the, you know, those kerples that come with this period? Number two, expect the kerpals and the meltdowns that come with transition. One of my kids especially is a real, he has this Coke bottle effect going on. You'll see this in your kids, I'm sure, is. is that, you know, everything is all bottled in during the day at school and then home time comes and there's just this explosion of emotion and stress. It all just comes up

sideways and it can be stressful and frustrating and emotional. And I think the more that I have learned to expect that that happens, the more that I have learned to think about how can I prepare myself for that. How can I prepare the afternoon or just tailor what we do in knowledge that that's a likelihood? It might be that I just go to school armed with a load of snacks just to kind of make sure that there isn't hunger adding anything into that. It might be that we really just pair back the play dates or any after school activities for the first kind of days and weeks as we're settling back into what is a new a new normal um so yeah how can you refuel or rest before pick up in order to increase your resilience and your like what you've got in the tank and i know

that that could be incredibly hard which is why there is two podcast episodes i've got one on five ways to rest when you can't and then another one on how to get space for yourself when you can't because there will be lots of people shouting down the phone at the moment going, Anna, you have no idea how much I'm juggling right now. I can't get rest before any pick up. Some of the pickups I can't even be there. It's just coming at the end of the day and get the drugs of everyone after work. So have a listen to those because there are ways just to get a little bit more of yourself when you need to. Number three is to re-address boundaries.

Boundaries around work and life might have been relaxed over the summer. maybe because they've needed to be, maybe because you just had a lot more to kind of juggle and wedge in, maybe because actually it's been nice slowing down and you've been able to do that. And as a result, some of those boundaries have just been nudged and blurred

and that has been what's needed to happen. Is there anything as you head into this new term that you want to reinstate in order to preserve a little bit more headspace or energy or just to put some kind of ring fence and boundaries around the different calls on your attention, the different work, the emails, the notifications, the challenges with childcare. You know, what would you like to reinstate that perhaps has been relaxed over summer? For me, it is about removing email from my phone on my non-work days.

And another thing that I find so helpful that I'm reinstating now schools are going back is not to go on my social media or my email until after drop off. And that is a really good one for me. That often just gets blurred around the edges over time. Something I need to keep on top of because it is really, really helpful. Number four, done is better than perfect. A doctor mantra, if done is better than perfect, I start with a bare minimum requirement homework-wise. We do not go above and beyond, especially at the beginning. And old me would have have wanted to do kind of pre people pleasing pre perfectionism and having worked on those things me would have wanted to do everything brilliantly from the start of the new term you know clean

slate tick all the boxes nothing late everything done extra bits of work done when actually it's a heck of a lot of pressure to put on everyone isn't it yourself your kids so one thing that we do especially at the beginning of term whilst we're getting back into a rhythm is put a timer on for homework so we will focus and we will do what we can within a certain amount of time obviously this will this will be different depending on the ages of your children and the requirements of the school and the commitments that you have but it's just something that we find helpful number five is to cut corners to make things easier as you transition and ease into a new term i always say cutting corners is a really valid form of self-care and i stand by that

because there are new pressures, expectations, both on you. You know, the admin levels really start stacking up. I'm currently now in three different WhatsApp groups for three different classes and already it feels like so much information coming towards me. There are still things I haven't sorted out yet with regards to uniform. So there are new pressures, expectations, new levels for our children to step up to in their childcare or their school settings. So how can we remove some of the stress where we're?

can how can we remove some of the pressures where we can so that we can preserve a little bit of energy and focus for where we need to something i'm doing is just trying to meal plan trying to do a couple of batch cooks a week so that there's less cooking to be done each day and another thing is that when the kids get back we're going to just do a bit of downtime bit of play time bit of anything time just so that they can decompress so i really hope that helps. Feel free to drop me a note on Instagram with any other ideas that you have and just know that you are not alone. It's just transition. It can be bumpy. But just releasing the pressure and expectations where we can is incredibly helpful. Take care.

Thank you for listening to today's episode of The Therapy Edit. If you enjoyed it, please do share, subscribe or review because it's makes a massive difference to how many people it can reach. You can find more from me on Instagram at Anna Martha. You might like to check out my three books, Mind Aver Mother, Know Your Worth, and my new book, The Little Book of Calm for New Mums, grounding words for the highs, the lows, and the moments in between. It's a little book you don't need to read it from front to back. You just pick whatever emotion resonates to find a mantra, a tip and some supportive words to bring comfort and clarity. You can also find all my resources, guys,

and videos, all with the sole focus of supporting your emotional and mental well-being as a month. They are all 12 pounds and you can find them on anamatha.com. I look forward to speaking with you soon.