The Therapy Edit - On 5 ways to find more joy in the grind

Episode Date: November 21, 2022

On this solo episode of The Therapy Edit Anna shares 5 ways that you can find joy in the mundanity of the daily grind.

Hello and welcome to the Therapy Edit podcast with me, psychotherapist Anna Martha. I'll be bringing you weekly 10 minute episodes to encourage and support your emotional well-being. Hey, how are you feeling today? I wonder whether you're walking as you listen to this or driving or got it in one ear as you are getting stuff done around the house or feeding kids. Maybe it's the middle of the night and you can't sleep, but I'm grateful that you're here. And today I have got five ways to find more joy in the grind. Now, this came as a follower request topic, and I loved it. I thought, wow, we all need to find a little bit more joy in the grind, seeing as so much of life is a grind.

And she specifically said, how can we find more joy in the grind? I get so fixated on. I have X more tasks before I go to bed and it does feel that way sometimes doesn't it? That the day today is just making our way through a list of things that need to be done that we want to do often the things that get missed off. We go to bed and they kind of weigh a little bit heavy on our shoulders. It might be some of those things that get missed off were edged out in the busyness and they were needs, they were there to meet needs that you really need to be met. So you've gone to bed feeling a little bit incomplete, a little bit needing. So how can we get more joy within the day-to-day, the day-to-day grind, the day-to-day-to-do,

the ticking off, going through the motions? So five ways. Now, if you followed me for a while, you will know that this has been one of my favorite reframes that I've ever used and it is turning that I've got to to the I get to now I use this all the time and it has absolutely changed my life it opens my eyes to the privilege of the moment that we so easily overlook so the I've got to now let's pick a really boring example I've got to get the kids to bed again i've got three of them i'm often doing it on my own it's such a process it feels like a mountain to climb sometimes i make the mistake of sitting on the sofa between child putting the child to bed and thinking i really don't want to get up and carry on but i know i have to so i've got to get

the kids to bed now let's change this to i get to get the kids to bed now it's hard it's sometimes boring, sometimes mundane, but let's open our eyes to the privilege of this moment. I am so grateful for my children. I am so grateful that I get to kiss them to bed. And I think that there are so many people who would, oh, just have this deep desire to experience that. There will be so many nights where my mom wished so deeply, that she could kiss my sister to bed one more time after we lost her. Now that in itself, just saying those words, suddenly I've got tears in my eyes and this gratitude is really swelling up in me.

And instead of thinking, oh gosh, I've got to get the kids to bed tonight, I'm like, oh my goodness, what a privilege to get them to bed in their little beds. What a privilege that we have those beds. What a privilege that we have this warm space. for them. Those cozy spaces where they feel safe. What a privilege. There will be those listening who never had that. Those listening who know that they're able to give their children something they didn't have. Those listening who love people who care about those who do not have that and perhaps feel helpless and worried. So number two, practicing acceptance. Everything is endless. The

to-do list, it never flipping ends, does it? And when we think about this, it sounds a bit negative. Why do I want to accept that? When I know that powering through it makes me feel so good, but the more we get comfortable with the truth that the to-do list is never going to end, the daily grind is never going to end. The more we get comfortable with not having to finish everything and tick it all off. You know, I sometimes get this victorious feeling when I I have gotten to the bottom of my inbox. I love a clear inbox, but it's so momentary, isn't it? I rejoice for a second and suddenly they all start pinging back. There is no end. And the more I recognize that, the more I will stop striving to find it. Just a little different way of seeing it that I find

really helpful. Number three, engage in wonder. Or and wonder, when was the last time you felt wonder? I got my three-year-old up this morning. She was actually awake, but I went into her room and got all her clothes down and stuff. She said, Mommy, look, the sun is red. And she pointed out her window and there was, you know, a little pinky tint to the sky. And I thought, oh, there is wonder. There is her wonder. Wow. The sky is a bit red. And how often do we allow ourselves to feel this? How often do we engage with awe and wonder? The more I do it, the more I do it. You know, it's one of those things that kind of, the more you engage in awe and wonder, which is so grounding and good for our mental health, the more we're prompted to look for the

things that are wonderful. It might be that you just stand outside the door and a busy night and you just look at the sky. Maybe you gaze at your child's eyelashes and you think you allow yourself to think, wow. Maybe you head out for a walk at sunset or even if you're an early riser, although it's getting darker here in England and it's getting light later so you wouldn't have to be such an early riser to see the sunrise. Lifting our eyes, lifting our eyes from the day to day mundane from the thick of it and lifting our eyes to gaze at the bigger picture to remind us of the bigger picture. It takes us more into that amazement of being human and living this human experience for the time that we do. Number four, know that this day is a gift.

it's kind of in the same vein. It's another truth. It doesn't always feel like a gift. Does it? Each moment doesn't always feel like a gift. Maybe not a gift that we'd want to be given. We're going through illness at the moment in this house. Nothing bad is just temperatures and all of this. It's not a gift that I want to be given, but this day itself is a gift. We never know what tomorrow will bring. And this can be so uncomfortable. We can spend so much of our lives trying to escape. this uncertainty when actually sometimes just recognizing that today is what we have. This moment is a gift, it's a miracle, to be honest. It might not feel like it, but this moment of being alive is against so many odds, the fact that we even exist. It's incredible. So just to get in touch

with that, just for a moment. Often we lean towards our future, don't we? We think, when I've got this promotion, then I'll enjoy life. When my kids are at school, I have more balance. Nothing is certain apart from this moment. So maybe we need to stop leaning towards and pinning so much on all that is to come because this moment is the one we have. Number five, now obviously there are things that we have to do in the daily grind. But if you're like me, you'll tell yourself that you can truly rest when you've done it all. That's when I can sit on the sofa. That's when I can sit on the sofa. I have earned slowness, rest, enjoyment, whatever it is. We lean towards these other things.

But we deserve slowness, rest and enjoyment along the way. Sometimes the daily grind is such a grind because we're holding those things back for our time. There's something that we need to earn. Life is short. The days can sure feel long, but nothing is certain. What can you delay, delegate or knock off the list so that you can inject. some fun and rest along the way, even if it's in the smallest ways, instead of waiting to the end of my day to go for my walk, which I love, as you know, what if I was to make space for it

within the day? What if I was to inject that into my day rather than telling myself that I have to get everything done before I can enjoy that? So there we go. I've spent so many years, we all do, fearing bad things happening and the uncertainty. but the truth is that more that we accept these things is unavoidable, the more we can see how much of a gift and an opportunity daily life is. It's not always enjoyable, but it is a gift. So I've got to, do I get to, practicing acceptance that everything is endless. You're never going to get to the end of that to-do list.

There will always be more things that get added on, engaging in wonder, and not holding back to enjoy these things. at a time when you've got everything done because it will never be done. So much is endless in life, but you, my love, are not. Thank you for listening to today's episode of The Therapy Edit. If you enjoyed it, please do share, subscribe or review

because it makes a massive difference to how many people it can reach. You can find more from me on Instagram at Anna Martha. You might like to check out my three books, over mother, know your worth, and my new book, The Little Book of Calm for new mums, grounding words for the highs, the lows and the moments in between. It's a little book, you don't need to read it from front to back. You just pick whatever emotion resonates to find a mantra, a tip and some supportive words to bring comfort and clarity. You can also find all my resources, guides and videos, all with the sole focus of supporting your emotional and mental well-being

as a mum. They are all 12 pounds and you can find them on Anna Martha. I look forward to speaking with you soon.