The Therapy Edit - On 5 ways to make the summer holiday smoother

Episode Date: July 18, 2022

On this solo episode of The Therapy Edit, Anna shares her thoughts on a source of worry for lots of mums with the school summer holidays stretching out before us! Anna shares 5 top tips for how you can make the summer holidays run smoothly and soothe any feelings of anxiety or overwhelm that you might be struggling with.

Hello and welcome to the Therapy Edit podcast with me, psychotherapist Anna Martha. I'll be bringing you weekly 10 minute episodes to encourage and support your emotional well-being. Hi everyone. I hope you're okay. Welcome to today's solo episode of the Therapy Edit. I'm going to talk about five ways to thrive. I say thrive. Do I mean survive the summer holidays, five ways to make them that little bit smoother because if you're anything like me, I feel like I'm physically bracing myself for the six weeks where the juggle increases, the pressure to have a good time increases, the need to entertain and make sure that you also get everything that you need to do done increases. So here are five ways to, let's call it make the summer holidays that

little bit smoother. Number one, amend your expectations of what and how much you can do. Literally think about how can you prepare ahead for yourself for the juggle. Maybe you're working, maybe you're, you know, you're limited in childcare. You know, what can you do now at this point so that you can start putting things in place? Maybe, you know, thinking about what, what childcare options you do have, if you're working, what, you know, we all know, got the different leaflets about all the summer holiday clubs that the schools are doing, you know, what might you be able to put in place so that you can have a bit of breathing space for what you need? I often find that when I have an agenda when I'm with the children, which so often we do,

don't we, even if it's just to sort the washing out, to send an email, that's when the stressful things, those stressful moments occur. It's when I am needing to do something and I'm also having to look at all. after them. So as much as I can plan ahead, know that there is going to be that tension over the summer, I will have work that will not stop, and I will have children who also, they do not stop. So how can I think ahead, know that that is going to happen, not just rest on the fact that I will make it through, because let's face it, how much making it through have we had to do with such little resources? We've had to do so much, keeping calm and carrying on. So as things have

opened up a bit, you know, at this point in the pandemic, how can we utilize what is available to try and make the road that little bit smoother for ourselves? I'm going to be looking at my diary. I'm going to set some time apart. Look at my diary and I'm going to think about things to do on specific days. I'm going to make some calls and send some messages to try and organize some playdates because I think sometimes perhaps you're different. You might see an empty diary and feel really quite liberated. I feel quite terrified. So, I feel quite terrified. So I I think it's also, you know, a bit of personality comes into this. I know that my kids thrive more on having things in place, things to look forward to. That might be because I'm a little bit more

relaxed when we've got those things. But, you know, if you're someone who just looks ahead at those weeks, then how can you set some time apart to just to know what you are like, to know what you might need, to know what your children might need, to know where the stress points might be and to and to plan some things in knowledge of those. Now number two, know that the school holidays can be quite emotional because the pandemic was, it was a traumatic time for so many. And then when we have a situation that is anything like something that was traumatic, we've had stomach bugs and we've had viruses since the requirement to kind of isolate for 10 days. And I felt like time has gone backwards. And there were moments when I look at the printer and it sends,

it literally, I have a physical reaction to that. And I know that I'm not alone in this. So when you've been through a really hard time, situations that there are any kind of reminiscence of that can feel really emotional. So know that when you've got, for those of you who've got these weeks kind of stretching ahead and you're feeling like, oh my goodness, I've got all this time to occupy my children, you know, know that actually that can be stirred up within it. So make sure that you're talking to other people. Make sure that you're talking to that support network because these different emotions might arise. Number three. Now, I think I saw this on Mother Kind Zoe. You know, I'm a massive fan of. So Zoe Blaskey's podcast. Did I hear on her podcast?

I know I think I saw it and hit her Instagram stories but she was on holiday and um lucky lady I can't wait I'm so excited about getting on an airplane I'm at that point where I haven't been on an airplane for no two and a half years and when I see them fly overhead I just want them to send down a rope and take me take me my husband went off to a work a work trip and I kept calling it a holiday and he had to remind me it wasn't a holiday I'm just jealous that you're going on airplane. But anyway, if you do get a holiday or any kind of change in routine or break from the norm, so he encourages us to use the word break instead of holiday. Now, I found this so helpful because I am so guilty of leaning towards the holiday and having it in my head, this kind of

fantasy idea that this is going to give me everything I need. This is going to fix it. This is going to give me the rest. It's going to be this amazing family bonding time. But then we add the pressure onto it, doesn't it? Then we had the pressure onto it, don't we? And then the inevitable curve falls comes along, family fallouts, you know, all of the, maybe a bug or something on holiday, all those things that happen. And then we feel really dejected. So I love the fact that Zoe was encouraging us to reframe a holiday and all that that means, and call it, call it a break. Instead, it's a break from the norm. It's a break from the routine. I found that really helpful. Number four, remember that it's your summer too.

When we live for a certain point, we might find ourselves kind of reaching towards the end of the summer holiday just to kind of hurry it forwards. But when we live for weekends, when we live for certain dates, we're wishing away big chunks of our lives. You know, I encourage you as you're as you're scrabbling to find ways to keep the kids happy. You know, find ways to add a little something that refills or brings you joy as well, something that helps you decompress. Just a little something into each day. Bring a bit of holiday into your routine. If you're heading off for work, what can you do to kind of give yourself a little something within it, whether you just take a sunny lunchtime walk around the block,

whether you find some new music or even a new scent to welcome that little feeling of summer? Maybe you pledge to get up earlier just to get some space and quiet. Some of you have early rises like me where that's a bit of a, it does not. always work out as planned, but how can you just get a little bit of something for yourself? Because it's your, it's your summer too. It's your summer too. Number five is plan. Involve the kids in the plan, right? Because kids can come up with some really good ideas. I mean, some pie in the sky ones, but some good ones as well. And it gives you an idea of what they might enjoy doing. And, you know, pace and budget yourself through it because it's so easy,

isn't it, to kind of just try and put pressure on ourselves to get it all right at the beginning and then everything just fizzles out. You know, plan and expect for boredom. It's, often we put pressure on ourselves to do lots of things all the time. Five Minute Mum has some brilliant Daisy Upton has some brilliant books and things to help with them, to help with giving us some ideas. But finally, I want to encourage you to be kind to yourself. Expect all of those emotions. We're going to have the love and the gratitude, those moments and those memories, but there will also be the stress and the overwhelm. And that isn't you not coping. That is, that is those motherhood emotions just coming to the surface and the forefront. Validate them, consider your needs as well.

And know that the more we try and control stuff, literally imagine kind of, you know, grabbing onto all the details, the more tension we carry, the more pressure we're under. And things like that, you know, we're more brittle, aren't we? We're more likely to snap from where when we're just trying to control. So sometimes I find it so helpful. just to remind myself to accept the day that is, even if it isn't as I planned it to be, even if we aren't making the memories that I hoped we would be. And some days it feels like we're just trying to make it through the day.

The more I encourage myself to accept what is, the more I'm likely to be able to experience those moments of the good memories and the love and the gratitude within them. So I hope these little tips help as you head towards summer. Feel free to head to my Instagram, see the reel on there where I posted about this and share some other ideas that you might have that we might find helpful.

But you're not alone. It's a break, isn't it? And we'll make it through it and there'll be some wonderful moments within it. Thank you for listening to today's episode of The Therapy Edit. If you enjoyed it, please do share, subscribe or review because it makes a massive difference to how many people it can reach. You can find more from me on Instagram at Anna Martha.

You might like to check out my three books, Mind Oath and Mother, Know Your Worth, and my new book, The Little Book of Calm for New Mums, grounding words for the highs, the lows and the moments in between. It's a little book you don't need to read it from front to back. You just pick whatever emotion resonates to find a mantra, a tip and some supportive words to bring comfort and clarity. You can also find all my resources, guides and videos, all with the sole focus of supporting your emotional and mental well-being as a month.

They are all £12 and you can find them on anamatha.com. I look forward to speaking with you soon.