The Therapy Edit - On a very exciting announcement

Episode Date: May 6, 2024

Drum roll please...... Today Anna has some very exciting news to share! Take a listen to hear all about her brand new book as well as 10 uncomfortable truths.Don't forget to pre-order your copy of Anna's book here...The Uncomfortable Truth: Change Your Life by Changing Ten of your Mind's Greatest Fears

Hello and welcome to the Therapy Edit podcast with me, Psychotherapist Anna Martha. I'll be bringing you weekly 10 minute episodes to encourage and support your emotional well-being. Hi everyone. I join you on this Monday morning, hopefully sunnier than the one that I am recording on at the moment. Where is the sunshine? But I'm joining you to share with you an exciting piece of news, something that I have been sitting on metaphorically sitting on my hands because the thing about social media and doing a job that is a bit public facing is that often there is so much going on behind the scenes, so much, oh gosh, family staff, kids staff, but also work stuff. So this is a work secret that I've been keeping. It is all about my fifth book. So it is out on August the 8th. It was

nearly aren't my, going to be out on my husband's birthday. He's going to have to share. I totally would have wanted to steal that show and have a bigger cake. But my book, The Uncomfortable Truths, Change Your Life by Taming Ten of Your Mind's Greatest Fears, is out in August. And I just wanted to talk a little bit about the uncomfortable truths and the importance of addressing them. so this book really I'm going to share the actual story behind it at another point because it is pretty wild like I can't believe how this book came about I can't believe the timing of it all and essentially I actually wrote this book in two weeks against the advice of everyone around me who said this is a ridiculous thing to do but there was a real reason why I felt like I had

to do that and I'm going to share that story another point But I just want to share the idea of these 10 uncomfortable truths. Now, if we think about our anxieties and our nightmares and the things that we worry most about, they often come down to the same things, don't they? And I've recognised this from years of working as a therapist, but also just observing my own nightmares, my own anxieties, my own fears are things that hold me back. And I'm going to read them out to you. These are the uncomfortable truths of life.

And they are true. And often we want to protect ourselves against them. But I want to read them out and I want to see which ones really resonate with you. The first one is that some people don't like me. Some people don't like you. And it's actually a lot of the time, absolutely nothing to do with us at all. But this can be one of the truths that we really grapple with that feels, that feels, scary and actually holds a lot of power over you. Does the fear of people not liking you

hold a lot of power over you, the things that you do, the decisions that you make, how you present yourself? So that's one of the uncomfortable truths that we tackle. Another one is that I'm going to fail. You're going to fail. We are going to fail. And again, how much power can that fear have over us even starting things? How has the fear of failure stopped you from making certain decisions, starting certain things that actually might have been brilliant. The third one is that we will hurt people we love. How is the fear of failure? How is the fear of hurting people that you love held you back from being honest and open? How has it held you back from asking for things that you need from placing boundaries that really would be helpful

if they were there. The fear of hurting people that we care about is another one of those lives that uncomfortable trees that no matter how much we try, no matter how well we articulate ourselves, how gently we tread we will hurt people, accidentally, sometimes on purpose. But how much power has that truth had over you in your life?

How restricted? How restrictive has it been? Another truth of life that I've really grappled with is that I can't always be fully present. I cannot. I cannot always be fully present. We know those posts that fly around saying you have this many summers with your kids and be present and enjoy every moment when actually a lot of the time isn't enjoyable. And we we can't always be fully fixated on the moment because what on earth would get done? But how much power has that truth that we can't always be fully present had over us, perhaps guilt that actually we've

prioritised work over spending time with our kids or we've lost a loved one and we could have spent more time with them, we could have we could have just, yeah, absorbed and inhaled those moments a little bit more. So where has that truth maybe fuelled guilt and shame? And the next one is life isn't fair. That other truth that we grapple with so much and we've fight against and we war about the unfairness of life. What would it be like to accept that a little bit more? What impact would it have on you? And number six is that I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough. I am never going to be good enough for all the standards and the requirements and the pressures of this world. How has that uncomfortable truth that you

are not good enough being something that you have fought against to try and prove that you can be that you can meet the standards that you can be everything to everyone that you can do everything brilliantly what has it cost you to fight against that truth that you know what we're just not good enough for that all we can't be because we're human and we're messy and we have our shortfalls and our blind spots and our toxic traits and we're never going to be good enough What might it feel like to accept that a little bit more? Number seven, people misunderstand me. People will misunderstand you.

There will be people who do not get you. How much have you fought to be got? How much have you fought to be understood? How much has it hurt when people lack that understanding, like that ability to see and get you? Another uncomfortable truth. This is a big one. It's a big one.

This one fuels my anxieties. this one fuels my dreams in my nightmares more like that bad things will happen another uncomfortable truth of life bad things will happen how much energy have you plowed into trying to stop that from being the truth trying to control things trying to preempt things trying to protect yourself against bad things happening how much has this robbed you of being present how much is it robbed you of actually enjoying some of the moments in front of you because you're so fearful of something going wrong. Another uncomfortable truth is that we will lose people we love.

Again, how much has this inhabited your nightmares and your fears and your anxiety is for me so much because I have lost people I love in traumatic ways. So that is a big one for me, that truth of life that I grapple with. And then 10th and finally, this is a big one, guys. But I promise you in the book I address this so gently that. own mortality, the fact that we will die, the fact that our lives are limited, the fact that that is the one thing that we all have in common and we can spend time trying to fight against this thought, trying to feel like we live forever, trying to, yeah, make decisions, the decisions

that we often make as if we will live forever. You know, what would it be like to become a little bit more accepting of these truths? In this book, the uncomfortable truths, is about changing your life, changing how you live by finding a more comfortable acceptance of these truths. Because you know what, the more I have begun to accept that some people just don't like me, the less I have totally burnt myself over trying to please everyone, the more that I have come to a gentle, faltering acceptance of the fact that I will fail, the more I've actually throw myself into stuff because I'm not fearing failure. I'm recognizing that to fail doesn't say that I'm a failure. The more that I recognize that I can't always be fully present, the less

guilty I feel when I find that my mind is scattered and the more able I feel to be to be present in certain moments. So this book, it approaches really big topics, but I promise you, what I'm going to do is guide you through a gentle acceptance of these. things because as we accept a little more the truth of life that feel really jarring and comfortable, we can actually be freed up to live more intentionally, more authentically, more fully, the more that we recognise that fundamentally we're never going to be good enough for this world, the more compassion we can find for ourselves in our failings, the more acceptance we can have of our limitations. The more that we recognize actually our life is

limited, the more it is finding me making decisions that are more in line with my values, then more in line with, yeah, what I want to think my purpose might be in this world. And the more I recognize that sometimes things, bad things do happen. The less I am bracing myself against them. and the more able I am to enjoy the good things that are happening rather than fearing the bad things that might happen. So this book really, it's an invitation to live more fully. And I wonder which of those uncomfortable truths really stuck with you, which one you are going to turn to as you get your hands on the book.

I cannot wait. I cannot wait to share more about it with you. I cannot wait to share the story behind it with you, which is just a bit, yeah, a bit wide. and I would love you to head over to Waterstones to head to Amazon and pre-order that book so that on the 8th of August it will fall through your letterbox and yeah that we can go on this journey together of accepting these things a little bit more and living a little bit more fully take care thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Therapy Edit

if you have enjoyed it don't forget to subscribe and review for me also if you need any resources at all, I have lots of videos and courses and everything from health anxiety to driving anxiety and people pleasing nail all on my website, anamatha.com. And also, don't forget my brand new book Raising a Happier Mother is out now for you to enjoy and benefit from. It's all about how to find balance, feel good and see your children flourish as a result. Speak to you soon.