The Therapy Edit - On boosting confidence and headspace

Episode Date: January 31, 2022

So many of us have those things that we just accept about ourselves. Perhaps it's guilt, or worry, or maybe it's the fact you lack confidence. In this episode, I encourage you to want to raise the bar for confidence, happiness and headspace. Plus I have some exciting news to share with you.All my resources and guides are now ONLY £12 at www.themothermindway.com Thank you for ALL your support that has enabled me to do this

Hello and welcome to the Therapy Edit podcast with me, psychotherapist Anna Martha. I'll be bringing you weekly 10 minute episodes to encourage and support your emotional well-being. Hello, welcome to today's episode. I'm just going to freestyle this episode, you know. I've got some thoughts I want to share with you and something really exciting to tell you about. So the thoughts I want to share with you are how, I guess it's the message behind so much of what I do and the resources that I create is that it's, you know, so many things are common. Worry, guilt, overwhelm, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, trauma, the impacts of trauma, challenging relationships, tricky family dynamics. You know, they're so common. And we can find great comfort in that, can't we?

When we speak to other people and we find out that they have some of the same feelings as us or some of the same worries or feel that rage or feel that guilt and it can feel really comforting to know that, oh, I'm not alone. It's common. It's fine. And I think that is the first step. I think if we stop there, then we're missing out on so much more. In that recognition that so much of what we fear, what we worry about, perhaps some of the mental health challenges that we have, you know, in that knowledge that they're common is really helpful because it starts taking the shame away.

There are things that I used to really beat myself up about. There are moments in the last couple of years that I was almost shocked at myself when I've spoken about the rage. I've just spoken about, kind of that, you know, that moment in the kitchen, I think I spoke about when I just roared like a lion and made my kids cry and my husband run downstairs with this laptop and finish conference call he was on of like what the heck is going on and it all just spilled up and over. And years ago, I would have felt utterly, utterly like mortified and embarrassed. And I wouldn't want anyone to know about it. I wouldn't have told people about it. But because I know how common these motherhood moments are, how common some of these feelings are, I have, I feel,

I feel comforted. I can talk about it. So just because things are common, I really encourage you, if you find comfort in that, don't let it stop there. Don't let that be the end of it. Don't let that be your, oh, it is what it is. I did a whole episode on that phrase on it, it is what it is. And I think it's about being more accepting. But just because things are common, I'm telling you this, whatever is coming up in your mind now, whether it's a thing that you do, whether it's a coping mechanism that is no longer serving you, that it was, you were holding onto it at one point.

But actually now it's harming you more than it is comforting you. you know it might be a fear that that just keeps playing through in your mind it might be the anxiety at night it might be just that people pleasing drive whatever it is that is coming into your mind i want you know that it's common if you followed my work you know that it is common but i want you to up your standard for yourself in the way that you would want for your kids you know if they're if they're experiencing something that's that's troubling them and it's hindering them or it's limiting them, you know, would it be enough for you to say, oh, it's all right, it's common, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. One of my kids often waits out and says, I don't want to

go to school, I don't want to go to school. And I know that so many children have this feeling of like, I don't want to go to school, but is it enough for me to say, oh, it's okay, it's common. It's common that he doesn't want to go to school. It's common that that's the battle sometimes or do I want more for him do I want more do I want to investigate why that might be do I want to speak to the teacher and find out what's going on you know for our kids and those we love we love we take that step beyond it's okay it's common that isn't enough for us is it we want more we want more for them so I'm saying if you've got that thing in mind probably things if you're anything like me, what would it be like to want more for yourself? Just because it is common,

it does not mean it needs to be your normal. What would it be like to want more for yourself? What would it be like to actually think, you know what, I don't want that to take up so much headspace. Just because so many other people, hundreds, thousands of other people struggle with this thing or this challenge doesn't mean I want to. Does it mean that I want it to take up that much headspace or that much energy or that much time or have that much control over my life? Want more for yourself. Dare to want more for yourself. Now that that I guess is the message that runs through everything that I do and every resource that I put out there. And I'm so excited. My exciting news is that thanks to you, Honestly, you, thanks to you, listening to the podcast, thanks to you supporting some of the bits I do on social media.

I am now able to change the prices of all my resources. They were priced anything between, I think it was 25 and 50 pounds for, I've got sofa sessions on driving anxiety and a metaphobia, which is a really common fear of vomiting that I've experienced myself. I've got these are all 45 minute sessions on guilt and overwhelm and, you know, I've got one on mothering the mother. You know, how can we recognize that we need mothering to? And then I've got courses. I've got a people pleasing one. That's three weeks and it's five to ten minutes a day and it's got loads of journaling stuff. And I've got a week on worth, which is one week, 10 minutes a day and I've got the reframing anxiety, which is three weeks. And I'm

I, because of your support, because I, I guess those, those courses were my bread and butter, they helped support the work I do and pay the amazing team that work with me. And because of your support in other areas, it means that I've been able to make all of those 12 pounds each. So thank you so much. And have a little look through because the message with all of these things with the health anxiety sofa session, with the reframing anxiety courses, I want you, my dream, my passion is that you will go beyond that it's okay, it's common, it's okay, it's common it is what it is. This is just the cards I was dealt. This is just who I am. I want you to want more for yourself, whether it's guilt that sits

heavily in your chest, whether it is that health anxiety and you find it hard to watch certain films or watch the news because it just feeds fear. It feeds fear that's robbing you of peace and enjoyment and sleep because all of these things, they sit in the way, don't they? They give us the massive what ifs in those moments where we want to give ourselves to that moment where where we want to just engage and enjoy what's in front of us. These things they sit there as the what if, the what if, the driving anxiety, so obsession I did, came off the, back of the fact I didn't drive 10 years because I had such huge intrusive thoughts about things happening when I was driving. So I didn't drive for 10 years and that was really limiting. I know

loads of people that don't drive. So I know that it's a common phobia. But what would it be like to say, actually, I don't want this to be my normal. I want more for myself. I would want more for my kids. I'd want more for those that I love. So what can I do to equip myself to give me hope. that there could be another way, that there could be more freedom. Because actually some of these things literally do bring freedom, don't they? When we start letting go of unjustified guilt, we can start to believe that we're worthy of being loved, of treating ourselves with respect instead of finding little ways to punish ourselves.

You know, when we address a metaphobia, it literally enabled me to do more things, to not be sitting on the edge of my seat every time my, child said they had a stomachache or every time someone at nursery was unwell because you know and again hugely common but i didn't want that to be my normal i wanted more i wanted to dare to believe that there was more so whatever it is that has sprung to mind what would it be like to instead of thinking it's common it's just it's just the way i am what would it be like to start thinking hopefully to start thinking what if what if it didn't have to be that way what if there was more enjoyment

more headspace and more freedom beyond this so yeah just a little prompt i guess and also that excitement of letting you know that all of those resources and they're all held on the mother mind way and now 12 pounds so enjoy them and i hope they help and feel free to let me know if you if we're doing any in how you're getting on but i promise you where there is help there is hope and there is so much more for you there is so much more freedom enjoyment and yeah headspace always always need more of that thank you for listening to today's episode of the therapy edit if you enjoyed it please do share subscribe and review you can find more from me on instagram at anamatha you might like to check out my two books called Mind Over Mother and Know Your Worth. I'm also the founder of the Mother Mind

Way, a platform full of guides, resources and a community with the sole focus on supporting mother's mental and emotional well-being. It's been lovely chatting with you. Speak soon.