The Therapy Edit - On how to lessen your stress in 30 seconds

Episode Date: July 22, 2024

In this solo episode, Anna chats to listeners about one tiny way that they can lessen their stress in 30 seconds. Such an easy thing to incorporate into your daily life and one that we hope will make a huge difference to you. 

Hello and welcome to the Therapy Edit podcast with me, psychotherapist Anna Martha. I'll be bringing you weekly 10 minute episodes to encourage and support your emotional well-being. Hey everyone, welcome to today's little solo 10-minute episodes of the Therapy Edit. I hope you're okay, whatever you are up to. I am sitting in my chilly living room wondering who to complain to about the weather because I just really need the sunshine. We went away for a week actually in the May half term. I got some sun and then I was just hoping that that would continue when we got back and I just feel like we're all feeling out. I really hope as you listen to this episode that the sun has finally come along. That would be

amazing. It just makes things feel so much, so much nicer, doesn't it? But today I'm going to talk about one tiny way to lessen your stress in 30 seconds. And this is off the back of learning about how to reduce stress hormone in our body. And I want to share a little way that seems so silly. But to me, I think it is often these tiny little things that we can so easily overlook that can actually in time build up to make a difference. And it's that whole concept and I think this is in the Atomic Habits book that if you nudge the flight path of a plane by like the tiniest little degree it can end up on a different continent and yeah so here we go basically when you get a massage when someone hugs you when you stroke a pet when you listen to

music that makes you feel happy and safe when you sing when you talk to someone you someone that you trust when you do things like yoga and you eat nourishing foods or you have sex or you receive some of that kind of gentle touch from someone else or even yourself. What happens is that you release this hormone called oxytocin. Now this is that comfort bonding hormone, that hormone that promotes the feeling of trust and love and relaxation. the absolute antidote to the stress hormone that makes feel hypervigilant and hyper-aware and just full of that feeling of cortisol and adrenaline and you're feeling anxious

and you're feeling heightened and you can't rest and you can't sit still and you're just you're stressed basically you're stressed you're anxious your body is feeling heightened so oxytocin that hormone that's that bonding hormone that comes through gentleness and gentle touch and doing things that make us feel connected to ourselves, to others, to other living things, to nature, to pets. That oxytocin reduces the stress hormone, cortisol, it counteracts it. And I absolutely love this because when we feel stressed, there are tiny little things that we can do. There are big things we can do. We can have big conversations with friends, we can offload, we can ask for a hug, we can do all of those

things. But in the moment, those things might not be accessible to you. So something that I have started doing is when I go to the toilet and I wash my hands with this soap and I dry my hands and I walk out, I've been adding an extra step into that. So often there is a bottle of hand cream in our bathroom downstairs where the guests go we have a bottle of hand cream in the toilets at the gym I used yesterday there was a bottle of hand cream in a restaurant that I was lucky enough to be in on Sunday this week maybe it was Wednesday when I went to the toilet I had a meeting there had some lovely lunch I went to the toilet and there was a lovely bottle of hand cream now I think we often skip that step don't we because why. It's just another thing to do. We just want to get out of there. But actually, I've started just giving myself this tiny little 15, 30 second hand massage on the way out of the bathroom. And it feels so insignificant. It's silly. It's a step that we often completely

overlook or we only do it if that hand cream is clearly something way fancier than we would have at home or we've got dry skin or we know that we love that smell. I think those are the only times that I would ever use the hand cream. But yeah, just using the hand cream and doing that little simple act of just massaging it into my hands. I might be talking. I might be walking. I might be thinking about something else. But as I am doing that, as I am giving myself some gentle touch, some gentle pressure on my hands, probably, you know, activating pressure points that I don't even know they're there because I'm not a masseuse, but I know for a while there are loads of lovely pressure points and massage points in our hands.

So it probably unknowingly has that purpose too. But as I do that, I'm releasing that hormone oxytocin that is counteracting the stress hormone cortisol, which I undoubtedly will have in my body to some degree. But I just thought I'd share that with you because maybe next time you go to the bathroom, in your own home and you walk past that bottle of hand cream that you bought for guests but you never use yourself or if you happen to be out and about and there is some lovely hand cream there that you might actually think, you know what, I can take this tiny little opportunity to give myself some gentleness, to give myself some oxytocin, to counteract some cortisol.

And it's a silly thing, but I also think it's really not because I think it acts also as a gesture to yourself that says, you know, I'm worth this little moment. I'm worth these little extras. And it's also powerfully just a tiny bit of mothering. Maybe from your grown-up self to your inner child. My son, he loves her massages. He loves deep pressure. So often he'll, if he's feeling stressed out. I've got some, um, just some body lotion on his bedside table. So I'll give him a little hand massage. I'll give him a little massage on his back, a little squeeze and he loves it. And it's that mothering, isn't it? And sometimes it's just that feeling of being tended to. And if you haven't got someone to give you a squeeze on your shoulders, I'm training up my kids. They will obligingly give me

a little squish on my shoulders because they like it too. And in actually growing up in my household, it was very much a currency. My brother and I used to be like, I'll lay the table if you give me a two-minute massage. And that was honestly, because we just used to really appreciate that moment of just, that tender moment of being mothered, although massages for my brother actually just a little bit backbreaking, but in a really good way. Anyway, I digress. Next time you find yourself walking past a bottle of hand cream, just think, could this be an

opportunity to give myself some of that oxytocin. Could this be an opportunity to mother my inner child and say, hey, I'm here. I care about you. I'm present. Could it be an opportunity to counter out some of that stress hormone in your body and have a little moment to connect with yourself? And also just to recognize that these moments of connection, be it with nature, be it with a pet, be it with someone that you love, be it with yourself. You know, they actually soften that fizz of stress, maybe after a tough morning. Maybe they will actually unknowingly prepare you for some stress that you're about to face. So yeah, next time you're wrapped into a hug, hold it for a second longer.

Keep a bottle of hand cream in your bag, whatever it may be. Just think about yourself. Just have a little thought and a moment for yourself. Add that in. So I hope that's helpful. I'm recording full podcast today and I'm doing lots of stuff around my book which is called The Uncomfortable Truth

and I really really recommend that you go and pre-order a copy because it is all about how facing the uncomfortable truths that not everyone will like us, bad things will happen and we will fail, we can't always be present, it's all about just facing up to these uncomfortable truths, these fundamental truths of life so that we can actually liberate ourselves

from people pleasing we can liberate ourselves from the constant striving striving striving to always get it right because when we can come to terms of the fact that we will fail and that isn't failure that's just a part of being human and some people won't like us and actually that isn't again a failing of who we are but just that's what happens when we're people alongside other people and it frees this up from people pleasing and perfectionism and fear so I cannot wait to have this book in your hands. So give it a pre-order and you'll find loads more kind of gentle, compassionate words in there. And I promise I am gentle about it. These are big topics. But just like I hope you find in these podcasts, they're full of kind of hand-holding, warm, compassionate words.

So go and give that a pre-order. And yeah, I can't wait to have it with you. And I will come and speak with you soon. Thanks for joining. I am so excited to announce that my brand new book, The Uncomfortable Truth, Change Your Life by Taming Ten of Your Mind's Greatest Fears, is available for pre-order now and is out on the 8th of August. And in this book, we tackle some of life's big, unavoidable, uncomfortable truths such as some people don't like me. I am going to fail. Life isn't fair. Bad things will happen. And in this book, we tackle these big uncomfortable trees that rob us of so much headspace and energy as we try and control and avoid them. And as we move into a place of radical acceptance of these truths,

you will find yourself living more freely and intentionally with more presence and confidence than ever before. So come on this journey with me and pre-order now at Wardstones in Amazon and we can celebrate together.