The Therapy Edit - On leaning into having fun

Episode Date: August 14, 2023

In this episode of The Therapy Edit Anna offers her listeners some advice about how they can lean deeply into fun and allow themselves the joy of being in amongst it as opposed to observing the chaos from an anxious distance.We hope you enjoy it. x

Hello and welcome to the Therapy Edit podcast with me, psychotherapist Anna Martha. I'll be bringing you weekly 10 minute episodes to encourage and support your emotional well-being. Hi everyone. I hope you're okay as you listen to this episode of The Therapy Edit today. I actually sat down to write some notes for the episodes that I'm going to record today. And I was just smiling at this memory of something that happened yesterday afternoon. So I thought, why don't I just share it with you? Because I shared it on social media and I got some really interesting, lovely messages back.

And so, yeah, here's the story. Yesterday it was my friend's birthday and she came around to spend the afternoon with us. And we got a cake and some presents. and the kids had made cards and we're just going to have a lovely little time eating cake in the garden. So I went to pick up my son from cricket, yeah, cricket after school yesterday. And in the car and the way home, I suddenly had this desire to do something different, to do something fun. I didn't know, why just came up in me? And I thought, oh, what can we do that's fun? And I said to my son, my eight-year-old, I said, I've got a plan.

Why don't we have a surprise water fight? So we decided that we would surprise our friend with a birthday water fight. And we went home and I got this massive Tupperware out of the garage. And as they were eating cake, I said, oh, my husband, Taryn, he asked me just to water the plants, but I can't find the watering can. So I'm just going to fill up this massive tupperware, huge box with water in that. I'm just going to decant it around with a jug. And she clearly thought that was a rather strange idea,

but she's used to me having strange ideas, so it didn't really bother her too much. And the boys were whispering in the living room and planning. And I got cups and gave everyone water, and they were going to be the cups that we used. And what else did I do? I made sure that everyone had finished their cake, and I got her phone and I snuck it and put it in the kitchen.

And there was a moment where I just got my cup of water. and I threw it over my son and he was all prepped. I had to have a conversation with my other son to say that it's okay if he gets wet. I was going to tumble dry all their clothes because he needs a little bit of extra preparation for these kinds of things. He probably wouldn't have liked it if it was a real surprise. Anyway, I threw the cup of water over my son and everyone just squealed and it began. I picked up my water.

I dunked it in the big tupperware and we had this water fight in the garden. until we'd used up all the water and we were running around screeching and squealing, who knows what the neighbours would have thought. And my daughter, my four-year-old, was just her face watching everybody. We were only allowed to put the water on her feet, apparently, although she was very good at drenching us. But the absolute joy on her face, the absolute, she was besides herself with laughter as we soaked each other.

it was just it was just amazing it was such it was just fun it was free it was in the moment we weren't thinking about anything else we were involved I think so often we can focus on facilitating fun for our children I just totally overrided any thoughts or is it overrode I overrode I overrided any thoughts of oh my gosh we're just going to be soaked all those wet clothes, all the water through the house when people are traipsing inside. What if someone starts crying? What if? All these what ifs and all of these just thoughts on logistics.

I just put them all aside and we just had so much fun. And when the kids went to bed, they were just full of joy. And I think even more so for the fact that the two grownups there were totally and utterly involved and dripping. and splashing. And it was just one of those moments where you just get involved and it was wonderful seeing the joy in their faces

and wonderful just being so present in that moment weren't thinking about the clear out, wasn't thinking about all the jobs I had to do and the state of the kitchen floor and the fact that there was still homework to do and teeth to be brushed and people to get to bed. And it reminded me also of this time on the beach.

I think I might have spoken to it, spoken about it on this podcast, but it was probably a year or two ago now, so it'll be far, far down the podcast feed when we went to the beach and the kids were paddling in the sea and I'm normally there trying to brush the sand off the sandwiches and just, you know, keep track of where all the belongings are that are scattered around. And the boys were paddling in the sea and this massive rain cloud came over and there was torrential rain. It was that kind of rain where everyone just gathers everything and they run back towards the car. You cannot. It wasn't a sprinkle. It was torrential. And they didn't, the boys, they didn't want to come in from the sea because they were already wet. They didn't

care that it was raining. And I started shouting them, you know, come in, come in. We're going to go. And they didn't want to. And I suddenly had this feeling, this drive to just strip down to my underwear and run into the sea with them and my husband and daughter they sought shelter under the awning of a beach hut and i just ran into the sea and they were so so happy and it's such a pertinent memory of mine even though it was a couple of years ago and again it was one of those moments where you just throw caution to the wind you put aside all there but what if the logistics and you just dive into life in that moment and the opportunity that arises. So I shared this on social media and I got some lovely messages back about mum's jumping on the trampoline with their kids. My kids always

want me to jump on the trampoline and sometimes that is the last thing me and my pelvic floor feel like doing, especially when I've got stuff to do. But the joy that, the joy in their faces and the joy that I get from actually just doing the fun stuff. So what is this podcast? episode about then. I think it's maybe an encouragement to have a bit more fun, perhaps to enjoy the moment. It sounds so cliche, but just to start noticing the little opportunities that arise for you just to dive in and live and to see the smile and the joy on your kids' faces as you join them in the fun that they were probably already having. But it's not for them, it's also, it's also for you because I know that when I look back over this summer, I know that

when I look back to that, to that time a couple of years ago, which was actually just as we were coming up, the pandemic, that is a stark memory for me. That was a moment in which I felt so exhilarated, so, so free and so present. And often these moments have just come from joining the kids and what they're already doing or something that they would already love to do. And I've said this before, that you love the sparkle in your kids' eyes when they're having fun. You love seeing them enjoy what they're doing to run around, free, feeling like they're having the time of their lives, the laughter that they enjoy. You enjoy all of that. You enjoy watching that. You facilitate it. You encourage it. But it means even more to them when you join in with it. They

love seeing the sparkle in your eye. The sparkling your eyes far more meaningful to them. It makes them feel safe. It makes them feel happy. It makes them feel connected to you. And I know sometimes it can, there's just so much in life, isn't there? The weight of all of the to-do list and the things that we hold in our minds, the stuff, the logistics, everything that actually does need to get done. We can't avoid being a grown-up. But it's just funny how when I look back over the last few years, the moments that really stand out to me as being the wonderful ones are just ones when I've let go of that for a moment. I've let go of that for a minute. I've just put it aside for a short time to dive in to the fun. And I'm pretty sure my kids will remember

those moments. And it's not like I've done anything clever or had to plan anything. These moments are actually just a choice to engage in what's often already happening. So, So perhaps just start noticing those little opportunities. Just five minutes is sometimes all it takes just to climb on the trampoline with my daughter and jump up and down with her. And actually those five minutes go far faster than I imagine they will when I'm doing the thing that I want to be doing or feel like I should be doing as she asks. And it might just surprise you. I just loved it. I loved it.

So I was sitting here thinking about that. And I thought, why don't I just share that as my first episode? Maybe it will prompt and inspire you to dive. into the living that you so beautifully facilitate for those that you love to see them love and get joy from you experiencing that alongside them. Share with me the moments that come up. I'd love to hear them. Just drop me a DM or an email and I look forward to seeing what these thoughts prompt for you. Thank you so much for listening. Please do take a moment to subscribe, rate and review as it really helps get these words out to

benefit more juggling parents like us and head to anamatha.com to find my resources on everything from health anxiety to people pleasing starting at only 20 pounds and finally don't forget to pre-order my new book raising a happier mother how to find balance feel good and see your children flourish as a result i can't wait for you to have that take care and we'll chat soon Thank you.