The Therapy Edit - One Thing with Dr Ranj on one amazing way to improve your sleep

Episode Date: April 14, 2023

This week on The Therapy Edit, Anna is joined by Dr Ranj Singh, the much-loved household name known for his work as an NHS doctor but also as an award-winning TV presenter, Sunday Times bestselling author, columnist, charity ambassador and celebrity dancer on series 16 of Strictly Come Dancing!Dr Ranj is Furniture Village's Sleep & Wellness Ambassador for 2023, a partnership that sees him share invaluable advice on how to get better quality sleep. In this episode, Dr Ranj shares his One Thing: that we should all be aware of the negative impact that electronic devices can have on our sleep.Listen in as he explains the impact of screen time on our sleep quality and how we can create the perfect conditions for a better night's rest.- Visit the Furniture Village 'Sleep Well, Live Well' page here- Follow Dr Ranj on Instagram here- Pre-order Dr Ranj's new book 'How To Be A Boy: And Do It Your Own Way' here

Hello and welcome to The Therapy Edit with me, psychotherapist's mum of three and author Anna Martha. Every Friday, I invite one guest to tell me the one thing they would most like to share with mums everywhere. So join with me as we hear this dose of wisdom. I hope you enjoy it. Hi everyone. Welcome to today's guest episode of The Therapy Edit. This is one that my kids are going to be really excited about. is Dr. Range Singh. We have watched many an episode of Get Well Soon. And I'm so grateful for that amazing kind of insight into just kind of health and well-being. And it's just great to have

Dr. Range on the podcast. Dr. Range is an NHS pediatric emergency doctor, someone that we are also incredibly grateful for. We've all got, we've all got stories of when we've rocked up into pediatric A&E and have just been so grateful for the faces that we've, that we found there. He is an award-winning TV presenter, Sunday Times bestselling author of many books, and a columnist and a charity ambassador. And he has got a book coming out in May, and I absolutely, I'm so excited about this. I can't wait to buy it for my oldest, how to be a boy and do it your own way, all about guiding men and boys to be confident in who they are, changing the narrative of toxic masculinity. And it's a celebration of all things, boy,

no matter what shape they come in. He's got other books. Dr. Angela could go on about your books. You've just got so many and just, yeah, written for and aimed at children as they're kind of approaching, just kind of navigating life and trying to work it all out. A super family like ours and uplifting stories, celebrating family of all shapes and sizes out in August. You've got brain power. I love the sound of this one. A toolkit to understand and train your unique brain for children. amongst many, many others, but I encourage people to head over to Google and see what suits them on there. But hello, hello, Dr. Rand.

Hi, thank you so much for having me. Oh, it's an absolute pleasure. How are you today? Good. I'm a little bit tired. It's been a full-on week. I've not perhaps paid enough tension to sleep or got enough of it. And I went to an event last night and it was a late once.

So I'm feeling it. it now. It's got to, what, coming towards the end of the week, I'm starting to feel it. Yeah, that kind of sleep debt starts to build up, isn't it? Yeah. I honestly think, as I've grown older, I've started to recognise sleep as one of the most important commodities in my kind of general, general, how I'm able to cope in life. People don't realise, we spend a third of our lives sleeping. So the average person sleeps for around 20, 25 years, let's say. And people don't realise that sleep is an answer. And people don't realise that sleep is an active process. It's not just when you go to switch off. Lots of really important stuff happens

when you sleep and we've neglected it. It's the first thing we will scrimp on when we're under pressure. And sadly, over a longer period of time, if you don't get good quality sleep, your chances of certain health conditions increases. So heart disease, cancer and cancers, obesity, all these things that type two diabetes as well actually, all these things. All these things can can be a manifestation of poor sleep and people just don't know. Yeah. So as you just said, you know, it's one, it's one of those things that we start to scrimp on when we're under pressure, but actually when we're under pressure, we need it more. Yes. So that we can cope with that pressure. And I don't want to encroach on your one thing because I've got a, I've got a little

insight into what that one thing might be. So before we carry on, I'm going to ask you, Dr. Andrew, what is the one thing that you'd love to share with all the mom's listening? So I've been working with Furniture Village as a sleep and well-being ambassador and I've done a lot of work around getting good quality sleep and giving people usable tips and you can go on their website and you can find out all of that stuff for free. But my one thing would be to remind people of the impact, the potential impact of electronic devices on sleep. Electronic devices are present throughout our lives. We use them all the time. can't really do without them now anymore. We use them for work, we use them for entertainment, et cetera.

But it's that being on your phone just before you go to bed, which we're all guilty of, can have a drastically negative impact on your sleep. We know that they interfere with sleep through various mechanisms. So there's some evidence that certain kinds of light that they produce changes the production of particular hormones in your brain. So melatonin being the one that. actually signals your brain and body to go to sleep. It reduces the production of that, which is part of the reason people struggle to sleep at nighttime if they've been using their

phone. But also, they cause a hell of a lot of mental stimulation. If you scroll through social media, it's actually, you won't realize this, but it causes anxiety. It causes a subclinical level of anxiety. It causes stress. And it stimulates you. And that in itself keeps you awake as well. People may, we all do this when we go to, bed, we'll just check our emails or scroll through social media or check the news or just have a little, you know, find out what's going on in the world. We don't realize that that is actually keeping us awake and having a negative impact. And social media is one of the biggest culprits of this. So social media is designed to keep you on there and is designed to keep

you alert and keep you awake and keep you scrolling. And that's one of the biggest culprits when it comes to poor quality sleep at the moment. Wow. And I think there'll be many, You know, when we started talking about sleep, I think there'll be many moms listening, thinking, and kind of shouting out, you know, Dr. Franz, you don't know how often my kid gets up. You don't know how, you know, one of my kids is always having bad dreams. I can't get great sleep. But actually, what you're saying here is this is something you can do for yourself. And it is, it's something that feels kind of insignificant. You're like, well, I'm lying down and I'm just, I'm just being a bit passive. I'm kind of physically resting. And you're saying, well, actually, you're not really your brain isn't your hormones are not able we're kind of holding that that melatonin production that we need so much

exactly people say oh just go lie down and I'll naturally fall asleep and we don't actually pay any attention to what we need to do to fall asleep so this is what I call things like what collectively I refer to as we refer to a sleep hygiene

which is the conditions that you sleep in so ideally you know, your sleep space should be cool, comfortable, dark, dry and quiet. These are the things that we just take for granted. Often when people are struggling to sleep is actually because, you know, they've had their mattress for 15 years and it now no longer gives them the support that they need. It can be as simple as that. Or it could be that their room is not dark enough.

Or it could be that, you know, it's really noisy where they're sleeping. And these simple things can be addressed quite. easily often, just by paying a little bit of tension, having a wind down routine at the end of the day, having consistent sleep and wake times, especially important for kids, by the way, that routine and that consistency, any child that's struggling in, that is the first thing that we say is you need to introduce a pattern. Our brains love patterns. Our bodies love patterns. We work on rhythms. So if you work with that rhythm and create a rhythm, naturally you train your brain and body to sleep at certain times. For kids, I would say, you know, use that moment before they

go to bed to have a decompression session, sit with them, spend a bit of time, let them vent their feelings on what's been going on if anything's worrying them. It's a great way to bond with your child at that point. And these are little things that we can all address, little things that we can all do that are simple and straightforward, but can have a big impact on our sleep. Yeah, and I think that's why they get overlooked sometimes, isn't it? Is there that it seems like such a simple thing just to not go on your phone. How long would you say? Like, what's that window that we should be trying to, yeah, what's the window, Dr. Rand's that we should be putting it down? As long as possible. I call it a power down hour. Okay.

So the hour before you go to bed, try not to use any electronic devices. And that includes screen, any kind of screens, a TV's in the bedroom. Ideally. What about my Kindle? I know. Well, Kind of, that's about, actually. Because it's got the black, the back light on it. Yes, exactly. Can I? Different kind of light. Okay.

I mean, read a book. A paper book is the best thing altogether. But try not to use electronic devices. And that will mean, charge your phone outside your bedroom, if you can. Don't use your phone as your alarm clock. Get, fish out the old alarm clock from the cupboard. And then if you do need to use a screen, try to, I mean, there's various apps that filter the light that comes out your screens and that can help a little bit.

it. Kindles have a certain kind of light behind them that doesn't interfere as much apparently. But, I mean, if you can, go for a bog standard book. I mean, there's something beautiful, I think, in holding a book. I love a book. I just like having the light off and being cozy because often my husband wants to go to sleep earlier than me and I just want a few more minutes. So that's but I think it's just helpful to know. And also sometimes I think when your phone is there, it requires a heck of a lot of discipline sometimes, which we lack more so when we're tired to think, no, I don't need the answer to that question right now. I don't have to write that down right now. I don't have to message that person back right now. It's almost like your office

and your social life is, you know, a finger, you know, a finger grab away. And it's sometimes that physical closeness, even though it's face down, is almost too tempting and needs too much discipline. So actually that's a good idea of putting that physical space even if it's on the side of the room. Exactly. It makes a big difference actually because you're right. We live in a society where everything is at our fingertips and everything is instantaneous. We can order something instantly to our house. We can check something instantly. We can get information instantly. We can communicate straight away to someone other side of the world. And the temptation is to just keep going because oh my gosh I can get this done I can get this email sent before tomorrow I can I can do this

bit of reading and prep before tomorrow rather than getting up in the morning and doing it there's that temptation to just do that one extra thing and you get a hit your brain gets a hit when you do it because you think yay I've achieved something a little bit of dopamine kicks in and you're like yeah you know I feel fantastic I've just got a bit a bit of a hit from doing that but it's quite enlivening though isn't it like dopamine is quite a wakeful hormone it's not Exactly. It's a similar to reward hormone, isn't it? It's the hormone that gets us addicted to stuff.

It's the hormone that gets you addicted to things like gambling and social media, actually. And you're right, it's so tempting. And sometimes you have to do something physical to reduce that temptation. You're right, put your phone at the other side of the room or put it outside the room if you can. Use it up until that hour. And then you've got that hour just device free. it could honestly change your life it really does and good for a relationship as well like sometimes I say my husband's he's a bit of a late emailer like he'll email off it you know and I'm like don't

don't do that and he's like they don't have to read it not but if they happen to see it then they're going to their heads in work then yeah it's almost like we because we don't have as much definition between the physical spaces of the bedroom you know so many people have been working from their bedrooms for the last couple of years with death in the corner and, you know, the work, the office and home, you know, we don't, everything is so blurred. I think we have to be so much more intentional about creating those boundaries. And I said to my husband the other day, you know, he's like, I'm just, you know, I'm just quickly on my phone. I'm like, but you're, you're holding the world in your hands right now. You're not here. You're not here with me.

You're holding the world in your hands. And that's what we do. We're literally stepping into an office momentarily. We're, you know, engaging in a friendship group momentarily when we're in home. And there's something really important, I think, sometimes to just say, you know what, this is my time. This is our time. We're shutting the world out now. Yeah, exactly. It's important to do that. You're right. It has a big impact on relationships. But I want to bring up the point you just made about the blurring of physical boundaries now. So our home spaces have become our work spaces. And And if you're a stay-at-home parent or carer who's doing that full-time job of caring for a little one at home, your workspace is your home space. And it's really hard, I think, to escape from that and to have a place where you can just relax and decompress and feel like you're not switched on.

And that's why, if you can, your bedroom kind of has to be your sanctuary. It has to be the one place that people say that bedrooms should be used for two things. sleep and the other the other thing if you're lucky enough so um and it should be you shouldn't i do this and i'm so guilty of you shouldn't take your work into the bedroom because it automatically your brain then associates it with the office as it were or it with work and you can't then escape it from it there and whilst it might seem really innocent like your husband says like oh i'm just checking this one email um actually if you sit and think about it would you take your, you know, your briefcase into the bedroom? You wouldn't. Would you take your toolbox

into that? Well, I hope you wouldn't. But, you know, you don't do this with other physical things. So you're all right. Your phone is actually a work device, you know, 50, 75% of the time. Yeah. It's so important. Sleep. Sleep really is. We can talk for hours about sleep. I mean, don't even start me on alcohol on how that impacts sleep. That's been a real revelation of mine lately. Yeah, don't use it as a sleep aid. No, well, it just erect it. You don't get good quality sleep. The quality is shocking.

You're in the wrong, when you get technical and scientific about it, you're in the wrong phase of sleep. Your brain isn't doing what it should be doing. Oh, so you're not getting, you're not getting what you need. And yeah, so now I'm so, yeah, just really restrictive on how many days a week I drink or at all because I'm like, I'm sacrificing a lot with this glass of wine. Yeah. I'm sacrificing sleep and how I feel.

And yeah. There's a huge movement towards, at the moment, actually have been quite a lot of people quitting alcohol and going tea total is a big thing right now. And the options that are available out there are so much more than they used to be. Well, I've made my way through the non-alcoholic gins, Dr. Andrew, I'll tell you, I've become quite the connoisseur of the non-alcoholic prosceco. But I think, you mentioned something before we click record, and I'd love just a touch on this because I think it's such an incredible go-to. and resource for people.

But you've been working with Furniture Village to provide the first free nationwide sleep helpline. Yeah, so I've been working with Furniture Village for a few years and people might think, what are you doing working with Furniture Village? Because you immediately think sofas and dining tables. But Furniture Village, obviously,

they sell beds and bed products and sleep stuff. And they've taken the science and the importance of sleep quite seriously. And so we've created a huge amount of free resources on their website, which you can get at Furniturevillage.com. At UK, anyone can go and access them. And it teaches you all about sleep hygiene and things that you can do, simple stuff that you can do at home to improve the quality of your sleep.

And anyone can use that. But one of the most amazing things that they've done is they co-founded the UK's first national sleep helpline alongside the sleep charity, who've done loads of work around sleep. It's completely free. it operates certain days of the week at the moment Monday to Thursday in the evenings we're hoping to raise more funds so that it can be offered a lot more but you can speak one-on-one with an expert sleep advisor about your or your children's sleep struggles and you can get one-to-one advice and you never get that anywhere else

it's available like I said Monday to Thursday I think it's 7 to 9 p.m. at the moment but hopefully in future we'll be able to do that a lot more but it is a fantastic resource they're so knowledgeable and they're so helpful and I would urge everyone anyone who's out there who's struggling check out the sleep helpline check out the sleep charity and also check out the free resources on the Furniture Village website they're there for you to use what a gift what a gift to be able to pick up the phone and and quiz someone on what you can do to kind of help yourself get more sleep And I think, you know, thank you so much for sharing that tip with us, something that seems so small, but we know requires discipline. And I think knowing the real benefit of putting our phone down, at least an hour before we go to bed and creating that kind of more sacred space for ourselves to rest and shut the world out, that actually we're doing far more than shutting the world out.

We are literally giving ourselves an opportunity to properly rest in that time. and there are things that we can't control how often the kids wake up, but there are things like this that we can do. So thank you. Thank you so much for that. And I've got some quick five questions to finish off. Okay, just three more ones. And Dr. Ranj, what's a current high for you at the moment,

what are you really enjoying in life? A current high for me? Oh, my gosh. I suppose a current high for me is we're very much working up to the release of my new book and there's lots of very exciting plans. It's a book that I've worked really hard on and took me a long time to write for various reasons, but it's hopefully going to change that narrative around boys

and what it means to be a boy. And being a boy in whichever way you want to and celebrating that, and it's kind of my gift to boys and young men to kind of say, look, you're amazing. And it doesn't matter who you are or what you do or what you're like or what you wear or what you look like. doesn't matter. You are fantastic. So let's help you discover how amazing you are. And let's celebrate that. That's showing confidence in who you are rather than, yeah, I guess sometimes the world is like,

this is who you should want to be. This is, oh, just, yeah, that is a gift and that is going to be a gift and that's really going to shift things. So thank you for that. And what's a, what's a challenge for you or Lofi at the moment? Oh, what's a challenge. Do you know what's a real challenge for me is getting more exercise. I obviously I fell in love with dancing because I did strictly once upon a time and I I use dance as my exercise and when I don't dance I start to feel really low

so I know for me it's more than just an enjoyment thing it's really good for my mental health as well as physical health obviously so I need to book in some dance classes I keep I keep telling myself right you've got to dedicate a bit of time to this come on do it today be accountable But it's so many cultures. They just dance.

They dance through life, don't they? They dance when they're sad and when they're happy. And it's such an, like, it's a physical thing that sometimes just can come out of us. It's something we're made to do more of. It releases all those happy hormones. It makes you feel great. Like 45 minutes of just dancing. It's just, it's a joy.

Right. Get on that. Get on that. And then finally, what's something that makes you feel good other than dancing? Oh, other than dancing. What makes me feel good? seeing my nephews, I don't get to see them enough. I don't have kids of my own,

so I'm that fun uncle as I like to call myself. Ah, I love that. Who drops in and, you know, does nice things and then goes away with them. Rings the trees. At least them with them. Yeah. Seeing my nephews is something I really cherish. And I don't get, unfortunately, get to see them enough. But it's that connection with them and seeing them grow and turn into the, you know,

the amazing people that hopefully they're going to be that that is something. something that I cherish. And I'm sure they really value you guiding them along the way with your with your heart for encouraging boys to be themselves. So thank you so much. And everyone, go in, go and check out Dr. Andrew. Go and check out the Furniture Village website and the free nationwide sleep help plan and all the resources that are there. And also, don't forget to pre-order how to be a boy and do it your own way. I've got Godchildren I'm going to buy this for. I've got nephews that are going to get this. So thank you. you so much for all that you do. Thank you. My pleasure anytime. Thank you so much for listening.

Please do take a moment to subscribe, rate and review as it really helps get these words out to benefit more juggling parents like us. And head to anamatha.com to find my resources on everything from health anxiety to people pleasing, starting at only £20. And finally, don't forget to pre-order my new book, Raising a Happier Mother, How to Find Balance, feel good and see your children flourish as a result. I can't wait for you to have that. Take care and we'll chat soon.