The Therapy Edit - One Thing with Emily Brooks on colouring in your home to express yourself

Episode Date: October 20, 2023

In this Friday guest episode of The Therapy Edit, Anna chats to Emily Brooks about the power of colour in your home to make you feel AT home, happy and to reflect your personality.Emily Brooks is an Interiors Colour Consultant and Interior Stylist, working in-home with clients to colour-in their homes with colourful paint and furnishings. Trained in both design and psychotherapy, Emily brings an unusually holistic approach to interior decorating, acknowledging that our homes shouldn’t be perfect, but should be an authentic expression and celebration of those who live in them.You can learn more about Emily and her work here.You can follow Emily on Instagram here.

Hello and welcome to The Therapy Edit with me, psychotherapist, mum of three and author Anna Martha. Every Friday, I invite one guest to tell me the one thing they would most like to share with mums everywhere. So join with me as we hear this dose of wisdom. I hope you enjoy it. Hi, everyone. So I've got a great guest for you today, a very colourful guest. And welcome. So welcome to today's guest episode of The Therapy Edit. I have with me, Emily Brooks. Now, Emily Brooks is an interiors color consultant and interior stylist. She, she's working in home with

clients to color in their homes with colorful paint and furnishings. And I love following Emily's Instagram because I'm a little bit, oh, tentative when it comes to using color in my home. And I surprised myself when I use any at all, to be honest, I'm definitely someone who has reverted to the greys and the creams out of fear. But Emily has this amazing way of just kind of going in and adding colour and sometimes just the mismatch of it. She just got this amazing brain and she just transforms spaces. She is trained in both design and psychotherapy. So she brings this amazing holistic approach to interior decorating, acknowledging that our home shouldn't be perfect but should be an authentic expression and celebration of those who live in them. I

absolutely love that. There is so much psychology in colour. So Emily, welcome. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Wow, it's a pleasure. I feel like we're friends. I know we've probably only met face to face, maybe once. And this was years ago because your mum is also a therapist, isn't she? And I've worked with her. She often asks me, she goes, oh, how's Anna doing? Yes, Oh, does she? I remember running a course with her of an amazing group of women with eating disorders and we worked together on that. So when I met you, you were just as lovely and warm and wise as your mum. So I've absolutely loved following your journey. I have to say, to be honest, she is a bit of an idol. I do get stopped in Sainsbury sometimes like, well, you've reached your first daughter. And I go, oh, yes, I am. Thank you. But yeah, she's wonderful. And I definitely get my sort of positive, my want to try. things out and I want to like really get get to the heart of it people that's what I get from her really that's her sort of therapy line I get her influence I suppose yeah and you do it so beautifully and I've loved over the years watching you bring colour to so many different things I have um got a range

of note cards still of yours I bought loads of them I think they were from john Lewis because yes so I started out doing homewares and stationary and I remember sitting in the midst of sort of a depressive motherhood moment and being like, oh, I'm not creative anymore. And then thinking I'm going to start with just creating something colourful and small. And I just began with one piece of art and then it kind of grew. So I started doing stationary and all very block colour, two-tone with one colour on an envelope from one colour and a card. And I loved that kind of mix of colour right from then. So I built on that and then as it went on and I moved into home, homeware and did a lot more working with people like John Lewis and, you know, on ranges.

Yeah. And where I kind of wanted to, I didn't want to just stop at the pillar. I wanted to do the wall as well. So I was doing that at home in my own home, which was where it kind of all started. Yeah. And it's brave. I think it's brave working with colour. And I think a lot of like me are quite, a quite tentative.

I'm sitting in a room here upstairs that's painted a dark grey, dark grey. And that felt like a wild thing to do. A little bit, a little bit out there to go for it. you know, dark colours are always going to feel scary to put on the wall. I think it's so against what we were brought up with in terms of, like, when we were brought up in terms of our age group was very much still the lighter and brighter. Scandy was just coming in in terms of like norm core, very black and white.

And so things were very different then. And I think what I like about now is that we can put our own creative stamp. If you are into colour, you can actually put that on the wall, which still feels people like, feels a bit sacrilegious, you know? Yeah. And the ceiling, good Lord. What I'm doing. I know.

I went somewhere the other day and it took me quite a while to realize that what was amazing about this room was that the ceiling was painted, like really brightly. What people don't realize is that the ceiling is what creates the sort of hug of the room. So people think, oh, I'll leave it white to make it feel bigger. But actually it's like a patchwork. It actually adds more clutter to the spaces. You have the wall color and then the ceiling and it's two different things. It actually brings the ceiling down. Whether it's dark or light, it brings it down to your eyes, your eyes notice the difference.

Whereas if it's all painted in one colour, you get a lovely hue, a lovely sort of hug of a colour in the room and it actually makes it feel bigger. And have you always been interesting colour? Because you've always worn quite colourful clothes. Yes, absolutely, always since I was really little. I did art and design, you know, all the way through A little and to foundation and then did a lot of it in my degree as well. And I think it was always colourful, always, always using. For me, colour is a really instinctive thing. me out of my head. And I spend a lot of time in my head. I don't know about you, but I think a lot of us do, dare I say. And I think for me, when I get, when I sort of see something in a colorful print or I see a block colour on a piece of clothing or even on a wall, I just, something emotive happens to me and I respond to it in a different way than it's coming in from my head. And I start to

realize that doing that in the house as much as I can is actually going to change my thinking in the house. So when you're walking around, I do something with clients called emotional mapping. And we basically walk through the whole house and I get the client to say, I say, what's happening in this room? What do you feel? And often I see their shoulders tense up. And I say, oh, okay, so something's a little tense in this room. They go, well, you know, it's just all the chores I have to do in here. I'm constantly having to move this out the way, the amount of emotions we carry just walking through one room to the other. And I think for me, if I can do as much as I can to get out of my head and into my body and into sort of a

joy space or a relaxing space or the emotive part of it, that's what I'm. colour can do for me. It's very powerful. And I think for everyone else. Yeah. And actually if we think about it, there probably are different spaces in our house that we walk into and we just instantly feel something before we've even done anything in there. It's quite subconscious for a lot of people. I've noticed a lot of clients, one woman I'm thinking particularly, you know, I said, take me somewhere in the house where you feel serene. And she went, oh, and then she went, uh, oh, actually, and then she took me to this bizarre little spot right at the top in her bedroom. like on the floor like this one bit and I was like tell me about this bit and she was like

I love it and then she just told me all about it and it's like I learned so much about this woman in like five minutes of her being this like two meter square and then we basically worked on pulling that out and bring it into the rest of the house and I think so often we think it's normal and completely like you know a badge of honour that our houses are stressful places like oh yeah that's that's part of life and I think yes of course stress is part of life but actually there should be places that we feel joy more on a regular basis, obviously it's not going to be. The ideal is not realistic. We're constantly joyful. In fact, it's important that we have functional spaces and practical stuff. But for me, the more joy I can feel in a home, or at least the more kind

of, I use the word sexy a lot in people's homes, which is a bit a strange one to use. You know, saying like, oh, I love the stream. It feels a bit sexy. It feels a bit like, it feels a bit like punctuous would be another good word. And those are the words I want to be using in my home rather than, oh, this room's very practical, or this room feels a bit stuffy, or this room feels a bit like dark and dim. You know, so it's trying to make the language

that we use around our home can be quite different. That's an interesting encouragement then for people just to go and do a little tour of your own home and just notice how you're feeling. And Emily's got a website called Color in Your Home where she gives you some insight into how she can work with you some examples of the amazing things that she's done. And even it was, was it your kitchen you shared an Instagram the other day and you just

put stripes on the back of your, like, oh yeah. Yes. And it just made such a difference. People spend so much money. I'm going to say it because I know this is very anti the interiors industry, but I just, I love the interiors industry. But I think what is different about color consulting is that it's not just about using the nicest fixtures and the nicest things.

It's looking at your home and going, what can I do, whether it's paint, something. something a different styling that's going to make this area suddenly feel really gorgeous and lux. And painting, using a stencil or using masking tape or even just painting a piece of furniture or restiling some cushions. To me, that's something, a way that you can cheaply make a huge difference in a space. So there are things that we can do to really shift that sense that we get as we walk into those different spaces in our lives and spend a lot of time at home. And there are definitely rooms that I enjoy being in more than others. So, Emily, with all of your knowledge, psychotherapeutic,

all of your design and illustration and love for colour, what is the one thing that you would love to share with all the mums that are listening today? Particularly for mums, and I have to say I always have a soft spot, is to remember that using colour in your home. So using colour in your home is something that seems superfluous, right? It seems like, oh, it's just extra, it's decorational. And I guess I would challenge that the one thing that's most important, about using colour. Well, one thing that's most important about life is to remember that

your homes are for expressing yourself. And so often with motherhood we get, so that becomes the last thing we do. We tally off the list. We cross off all the things we have to do. And then we often put the kids' bedrooms first or whatever we need to do. And I think remembering that actually this should be a space that you as a woman feel happy and excited about being in and that you could have what I call a goddess zone, which is kind of out there. But it's like a play a place where you can actually have your things up like you would have done before, you know, it's not a compromise. It's actually like, this bit is my area. You know, that's quite a new idea that I love for women. So my one thing would be to colour in your home, to take colour onto

the walls, even if it's just in your furnishings, to remember that what you love about certain colours is going to help you remember who you are. So for example, if you love teal or if you love orange, you know, play with it, have fun with it, like go for it. And it. And it's, And if the most you can do is just one wall or one bed spray or something, try it out and see if it makes a difference to your mood. Why I notice as a mother is that I look at it and I go, that's my thing. That's my expression. And I may be, you know, I would say changing a napi or doing something next to it, but I'm like,

that's, that's, I love that color. And I'm looking at it right now while I'm doing this other thing. And that makes me feel like it's my home as much as, God, the home of my kids and the practical stuff for work. whatever else. So it's kind of like taking ownership, isn't it, of your space? And I think I've had, you know, stylists on here before talking about wearing things that express you, maybe just adding a bit of jewelry or thinking, you know, what colors do I love? And sometimes I don't even think we ask ourselves, you know, what do I love? We're so busy kind of facilitating and making

sure that our children have what they need and that they have things to enjoy. And actually, you know, often we don't ask ourselves that question. What is my favourite colour? One of the most interesting parts of the process with the clients that I do is we get out the palettes of the colour cards, the ones you might get from a B&Q, you know, and we lay them out. And I get two, if there's a couple,

I get both partners to look at it. And I say like, okay, tell me, not in the house, but just emotionally, what do you respond to? And there's a real war often, particularly for the men, if there's a man involved. There's particularly like a kind of, oh, I don't know, I'm not really allowed to say or I'm not really sure. So a lot of women will go, or mothers particularly will say, oh, I like that, but I don't want to use it anymore because I feel like I've used it a lot already. And there's all, sorry, I shouldn't, you know, there's loads of emotions that come out as soon as you start asking people to just to know what they love.

And it's like, so what's that there. There's obviously shame around loving what you love. You know, it's fascinating. That's where we really get into it with people. And then by the end of the session, people are so excited to inject. some of themselves into their own homes and feel ownership of their own space. That's the psychology element, isn't it, of colour, but also, yeah, the reticence sometimes that we have in putting something out there in our home in a more visible way that we love,

even if, you know, we might not know how, how on earth would that colour work in a room or we're so quick to put things out for practical reasons or for our children or, and I think, you know, obviously lots of people love a good sofa and love a good lamp and that's that's part of home learning. But it's about curating a space in a way that you feel, you know, you love and that makes you happy. It makes you as a mum feel good and feel joy and feel sexy and feel all those things. Yeah. And I guess it can feel like quite a courageous step to take a colour that you love and to put it on a wall because, you know, what if it doesn't work in that context or what if you put it up and you think, oh gosh, I like that colour, but I'm not sure.

This is one of the biggest things that clients would ask. And I think what I always say is, say, for example, you want to do yellow, for example, let us take yellow. You love yellow. You've always loved it, but you would never put it on the wall. You know, because actually, if I, you feel like I couldn't just suddenly paint my whole wall yellow. The biggest thing that I could suggest would be to go for like a really muted, lovely, warm,

but very paired back tone of that colour on the wall. But then in your furnishings, you can ramp that all up, like a little dial. and you can have like mustard curtains and you can have, you know, golden fro and you really make the room, the whole hue of the room then becomes yellow. So it's about creating a hue and a mood that's colour based in a room without it being actually necessarily on the wall. And the biggest mistake people offer make is they go, I love turquoise, my favourite colour. They wear turquoise and then they, or teal, we might call it in the paint, part of the paint industry. You put it on the wall and then you go, oh my God, just paint my entire room teal and it's way too much.

you know, for that, I would say you choose something like a muted in Chara Blue or some of that on the wall instead, and then you then pull out, pull it all up in the furnishings and extras. That way you then have a teal room, but it doesn't feel like you're constantly looking at teal paint. Yeah, it says it's being nuanced in the way you do it in the paint and then sort of playing with how much do you want to go brighter and bolder in the rest of the room. And the worst case scenario, my mum, she was one for this growing up. She'd paint the wall and then she'd paint it back. She'd be like, nah.

And actually, worst case scenario, so honoring yourself and taking the risk and trying these things out in the space that you live in, the space that is your home, your space. And if the worst comes to worse, you buy a big tub of trade-white paint and you paint over it again, like my mother. That's very true.

And I would say even go one step backwards and just paint one area. So one of the things people make a mistake with is they paint a patch of a sample in the middle of the wall. So it's without any context that it looks completely off because it's not really

how you see it in the room in the context. So I would always suggest if you're thinking or considering of adding colour, which you should. What you can do is behind the sofa,

say example, for example, it's in a living room. Pull the sofa back a little bit and just go a little bit below where the sofa would stop would come up to and start there

and paint all the entire sample pots and just really rinse it out and make a large enough area and then live with it for a week. And then push the sofa back so you can see it in context of how it would look, you know what I mean?

There's not white space or whatever existing color there is around it. Yeah. And just live with that for a while and see how it makes you feel. And if you feel like, oh, God, I'm loving it. You'll know, and you'll just want to do it. You'll just want to keep painting a little bit more. Or if you want to get a decorator in to do it, you know, you know it's, that's what I do in my living room, the first room I ever went bolder in was I painted an area.

And every evening when I'd have a glass of wine, I go, I want to do more. And then it became kind of easy from there. And what colour was that? So that one was a kind of a deep, that's called in Chira Blue. It's by Farron Ball. It's like a deep, it's quite popular. It's a deep sort of teely, bluey green. And I think if I was to do it now, I probably would redecorate it a different colour,

but I still love it. And it's a wonderfully cozy, sexy colour for a living room. We converted our garage into a little downstairs kind of living room space. And I remember I just wanted it to be so cozy. so we've got some wooden, kind of rusticly wooden panelling on one wall. And I remember it's probably, I'd probably kind of consumed by osmosis your page. I mean, this isn't colour, in a sense. Is black a colour?

I think it can be a colour. But we paint, I said, I want to paint it black. And even the painter was like... It's not a different kinds of blacks. I'm really intrigued now. I mean, it's kind of like a chalky black. Okay, yeah. Not like a flat black more of a...

Yeah, maybe. Oh, exactly. And, you know, the, even the lovely guy, he painted it, because I can't trust myself. I mean, I have painted rooms in this house and you phippen know about it. He was just like, are you sure about this? And my husband's like, oh, are you sure about this? But honestly, it's our favourite space because it feels like... Is it? Yeah. Because it feels like a cozy, cozy space. You know what's funny is people have actually gone with like railings or downpipe grey or black and really gone for it. But

they find it harder to do it with a colour, which I find fascinating. Yes. I mean, black isn't really officially a color, but in my mind, it's the same idea that, you know, you're putting something on the wall that's different than white, essentially. And it's like, they go for it. And it's, and it looks so cozy, so lux, especially one of the tricks you can do in dark colors and so you can use a really high sheen. And that's really trendy right now. But also, I'm so pleased because I'm so done with a very, very, very dead flat surfaces. But you get this, you know, reflecting, light reflects off in such a luxe way. I love it. So, yeah, there you go. you've seen a proof that actually going for it can really work. But yes, even harder sometimes with colour, people can often find that even harder.

But the job that I do is quite helpful for people who really feel, they want it to be something, like it looks like it is on things on Pinterest, that they want it to look like their friend's kitchen, you know, but they just don't feel able to make the decisions. And one of the biggest things is that the cohesion, you know, like if you've got, say you've got your, I mean, in your house, for example, so you've got that room, do you now feel like other areas of your house, you kind of want to now do differently?

Or do you feel like it's great that it's kind of a one destination? Do you know, we've got a tiny utility room with the wash machine, the tumble dryer and the cat, the cat's always in there. The cat bed and the cat food all over the floor. And it's just, again, it's just boring white and I'm always in there, moving stuff from one thing to the other washing. I know. Get in there.

Yeah, I'm going to do, I might do something wild in there. But yeah, have a little walk through your home. See what feelings are evoked by the different room. and just start dreaming about how you might colour it in and head to Emily's website, colour in your home and her Instagram as well, which is Emily Brooks, which has got so much inspiration.

And also you just share your work journey, which I love, which I find so fascinating. So thank you so much for encouraging us to colour in our homes and reclaim our spaces. But to finish off, can I ask you a couple of quick questions? Yes.

Yeah. What is one thing besides colour? that makes you feel good? The forest walking out in the trees, yeah. I'm with you. Have you hugged one? I have hugged so many trees. Good. I've left them with a little love.

Good, good. I hugged one the other day and I've got tree sap all over my face. It's very sticky. A few ants. A few little ants stuck in there, yeah, like amber. And another question. What is a motherhood high for you at the moment? Believe it or not, there's a sweet spot at bedtime. I've got two older boys, nine and seven, and I don't really get that, they don't really want me

around these days. That's the thing. It's like, mum, I'm in the background, you know, cooking, doing bits stereotypically, annoyingly. And when it's bedtime, there's a moment when suddenly they want me to sort of, they want to chat. They want to have a little chat. They want to have a download and they want to have like a funny little game or a funny little story. And we do little meditations or stuff together. And it's like a, it's, it's realizing that now it's changed. It's a shift now. It used to be that during the day, that was our time and then quickly get them to bed. And it's funny how now that shifted and I'm just aware of where the sweet spots have shifted. And I'm allowing myself to loosen up a bit at that time to make sure that I foster that part of the

relationship with them. Those little moments, where they want to hold you there for a little bit longer. Yes. Even at age nine, he's like, oh, I love this bit. Let's talk about, let's talk about our days. And it's like, oh, stop it. Yes, let's talk about our days. You start. You start. You start. Oh, how lovely. Oh, those lovely moments. Well, thank you so much for coming on, Emily. It's been an absolute delight to see you again and hear more about your story and your passion. Oh, it's a pleasure. Lovely to see you, Anna, and I love everything you're doing.

Thank you very much. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Therapy Edit. If you have enjoyed it, don't forget to subscribe and review for me. Also, if you need any resources at all, I have lots of videos and courses on everything from her. health anxiety to driving anxiety and people pleasing. They are all on my website at anamatha.com. And also don't forget my brand new book, Raising a Happier Mother is out now for you to enjoy and benefit from.

It's all about how to find balance, feel good and see your children flourish as a result. Speak to you soon.