The Therapy Edit - One Thing with Kelly Hoppen on creating a sanctuary space

Episode Date: March 22, 2024

In this guest episode of The Therapy Edit, Anna chats to interior design guru, Kelly Hoppen CBE about her One Thing: on how to create your true sanctuary space.Having changed the face of the design industry with her East Meets West style, multi-award winning designer Kelly Hoppen CBE is one of the most sought-after designers of her generation.Kelly’s ever-evolving style, defined by a subtle fusion of clean lines and neutral tones and intuitively balanced with an opulent warmth, has been honoured with numerous prestigious awards and accolades including a MBE for services to interior design in 2009 and CBE for services to the GREAT Campaign.Kelly’s passion for design and understanding her clients’ needs is what she lives and breathes for the last 48 years. Passionate about making her design ethos accessible to the masses, Kelly has authored 10 books, partnered with select brands to create a range of products for the home, and is often featured on numerous Television shows including ITV’s This Morning where she regularly shares her expertise with members of the public.Kelly is a proud ambassador for the government’s GREAT campaign and promoting British creativity, business and commerce globally. She is passionate about mentoring and helping young people and avidly supports The Princes’ Trust and anti-bullying charity The Diana Awards.Follow Kelly's Instagram to keep up to date about her latest projects and news.You can also visit her website here

Hello and welcome to The Therapy Edit with me, psychotherapist's mum of three and author Anna Martha. Every Friday, I invite one guest to tell me the one thing they would most like to share with mums everywhere. So join with me as we hear this dose of wisdom. I hope you enjoy it. Hi, everyone. Welcome to you today's guest episode of The Therapy Edit. I have with me, Kelly Hoppin. Now, having changed the face of the design industry with her East Meets West style

multi-award winning designer Kelly Hoppin, CBE, is one of the most sought-after designers of her generation. Kelly's passion for design and understanding for her client's needs is what she lives and breathes and has done for the last 48 years. Passionate about making her design ethos accessible to the masses, Kelly has authored 10 books partnered with select brands to create a range of products for the home and is often featured on numerous television shows including ITBs this morning where she regularly shares her expertise with members of the public. Kelly is a proud ambassador for the government's great campaign and promoting British creativity, business and commerce globally. She's passionate about

mentoring and helping young people and avidly supports the Prince's Trust and anti-bullying charity the Diana rewards. Kelly, it's amazing to have you here. Thank you for having me. Oh, thank you. My social media actually began as an interior design account when I moved house. It was now all around maternal mental health. So that was some kind of slow segue. Yeah. But yeah, got a couple of, I've had a couple of your books on at the shelf. I'm just scanning, scanning them now for them. But yeah, just grateful for the way that you bring interior design to the masses. Yeah, I mean, it's really important to me. Obviously, my core mother business is at the very high end,

but I am a great believer that everyone should be able to have a sanctuary at home, somewhere beautiful to live. And luckily now on the high street, you can find all of that, but it's very hard for people to know how to navigate and do that. And one of the reasons I love doing this morning, I was there yesterday, was like eavesdropping into people's homes and in five minutes telling them how to change it. And I was just born with that ability to look at a space and just see it.

And that's the bit that I love is the kind of creativity and kind of the psychology, really, of understanding people. So, you know, right back on my first book, I talked about how the first and foremost thing is to understand how people live in the space. because if that isn't right, nothing else will be because it can still look beautiful, but you can sit in the space and think something not right. So it's got to fit like a piece of clothing that you love to wear, like your favourite jeans. That's what a home should be like.

Yeah. And that kind of exhale that you get when you come through the door and you sit in your space and you sit in your, we've got a little snug downstairs. And it's just, it's a reflection of us. Yeah. It's a reflection. And sometimes it takes bravery to do that, doesn't it, to actually think, how can I portray an element of my personality onto walls or soft furnishings?

And sometimes we can feel a bit stifled and not knowing where to start, which is why I think, yeah, you're passionate about bringing interior design and making it accessible to people who otherwise might not, might feel a little bit overwhelmed in those moments. Yeah. Yeah. And sort of through COVID, when I was doing a lot of this morning from home myself, and, you know, falling over cushions and things while it was on live television was where the new book came out, which was making it accessible, showing people, you know, aspiring photographs, but saying you can do this, this and this and this, almost like a how-to book. Because obviously with COVID, everyone had a lot of time and you were eavesdropping and,

you know, that wonderful moment when you're having a Zoom and you're trying to see what's behind, you know, it became like a thing, didn't it? It certainly did. Yeah. It's personality, isn't it? And sometimes I think we might know that we love certain colours, actually finding ways to utilise those colours in our surroundings. It makes it more of an extension of who we are. And sometimes it isn't those colours. And that's what I love to delve into. And then, you know, a lot of times clients have said, you've given me what I wanted, but I didn't know I wanted it or I didn't know how to get there. So kind of a drawing out of... Yeah, how that, yeah. Gosh, it's such a, it's such a skill, isn't it? But I would love to hear what is the one thing that you would like to share with all of the podcast listeners out of all that you know about design and the psychology of design. What's that one thing you'd like to share? I think for me, you know, I was trying to think what was the one thing? There was just so many. But I think we're so, um, sort of drawn. And the whole world is about social media and what you see. And what you see on social media in terms of interiors and the way people live isn't always real.

And I think it could be quite difficult for people then to try and work out on their own when they don't have a Kelly Hoppen to help them. How do you create that space in your home for great mental health, well-being, a place that is really your sanctuary? and I know that word has been used a million times, but it's real. And that feeling you just talked about when you walk through the door and it's that, oh, I'm home and everything around you fits you. The only thing that I would say is that over the years of doing this for 45 years, when clients come to me with tear sheets and they say, I love this, I love this, I love this, I would break it down and say, what is it on that page that you really love?

and nine times out of ten it's a door handle or it's one item because when you really break it down you don't really love everything there so it's about finding what it is those 10 things that matter to you in a home and it's almost like creating a mind map so i've got those 10 things so in the bedroom how do those things relate um how do i most you know when i get dressed what colors do i wear what makes me feel good. When you look in the mirror and you go, oh, that color does nothing for me. It's exactly the same in the home. So you have to, and people understand how to get dressed. They use a part of the brain that enables them to be able to think what's in their wardrobe. And when I had my school, I was trying to teach people to use that part of the brain when they looked at an open space

and it works so you can start to then kind of zoom bring in the sofa this color and you can start to imagine it in your mind because one of the great things about home is imagining yourself in that space it's not just about how it looks on instagram or what your friend's home looks like but you can have takeaways from when you go into people's homes that you love and you enjoy spending time with understanding how their kitchen works and their kitchen counter and, oh, that was a great evening. I love the way people gathered around here or the way that everyone then went next door and had a coffee and those sofas were so comfortable.

So you can take these takeaways from experience and experience then becomes reality. So those are the things that I try and explain to people and because it will help navigate to have that special place. Because so often I hear of people saying, I love this room, but I don't use any other room in my home. Like, what's the point? Like, make it work. And often I'll go into people's homes where I'm doing something and they'll go, we never use this. And I'll go, well, why don't you move this, do that?

And then suddenly they'll call me and go, oh my God, we love it. And it was such a small thing. But we get very set in our ways. When we buy a certain type of flour, we buy that every week. If we put a bowl of fruit on the table, it never moves from there. My partner is always saying, my God, where is the fruit bowl? Because it's always, you know, I'm always changing it. Nothing should be static.

A home should be movable and it moves with your mood, with your summer, winter, spring. Today is cold. It's raining. You know, I've got a sweater on. I'm at home. I'm like, which room do I want to sit in? Like, which feels the most comforting? So I would say it's all about how you feel. It's the experience, how it resonates with your soul. And it's really important that your bedroom is one of the most thought about spaces

because you fall asleep and you wake up there. And those are your moments that are important when you go into dream and when you wake up into reality and into the day. So the colors you choose, the things that you surround yourself with, basically make up your mental health and how you feel. Yeah, the huge impact that our surroundings have. I spend so much time in my house because of the kids and just kind of in and out. And I think you're so right.

There are rooms that in the past I haven't really wanted to spend much time in. And just sometimes just standing there and thinking, why not? Like, what is it about this space? Do we need another throw, something cuddly or is there too much clutter? and I think that's a lovely encouragement just to move things about a little bit. And even big pieces of furniture, it's not always the throw and the clutter.

That's a kind of given and that should be done all the time decluttering. But sometimes just move things and you'll be like, oh no, but I would say leave it a day, walk back into the room, try it out because sometimes you'll be like, that was staring me in the face.

Why did I put the sofa facing that way? Oh my God, I'm looking out. It's like in COVID people were moving their areas where they work towards the outside because suddenly they wanted that light, but they should have had it anyway. And it's those little things that could just suddenly change the perception of how you feel. And they're so minor, but they can make such a big difference to the way you feel. So don't be afraid to play around with things a little bit. My son, I will go up to kiss him when I go to bed just to sneak in.

And his head will be at the other end of the bed and he'll have moved his bedside. I would have heard all this shuffling around. He'll have moved his bedside table and he'll have moved everything. And he'll have just fancied a change. And I love that because I used to do that a lot as a child. And I think, you know, we can lose that as we get older. You know, we can kind of cling to things that feel familiar in the same. because I guess in some ways they anchor us when actually I know times that we've moved something

around or just swapped a painting over and you feel like it's a different room in the most wonderful way. Yeah, but you've just reminded me actually of when I was a child. I was always moving my room around that actually it made me feel so good when I'd go in and everything would be kind of in a different place and even on your desk moving things and you go, oh, yeah, I feel fresh, I'm clear. I can do something. It's true. Yeah, a bit of newness sometimes just in where things are can be quite powerful.

So I think, yeah, giving ourselves permission just to switch things about a little bit and just see how it feels. So for someone who is listening to this, they've just flopped down on their sofa, they're exhausted, they're looking around thinking, oh, I'm so tired of this room. I haven't got big budget or anything like that. But what can I, what? What can I do in here tomorrow to make it feel slightly different? Say someone sitting in their snuggle, their living room, one of the first and easiest things is to take everything down from every shelf and just move it all into the middle of the room. And people are probably going to listen to this and go, oh, my God, that's so scary.

And it is scary. Even for me, when I'm redoing stuff, I move things, I, you know, back and forth. But sometimes look at stuff and think, well, maybe that kind of. have a new home somewhere else in my bedroom and then go and look in the bedroom and think, I do love that vase there. It makes me happy, but let me try it in another space. And if you move that around and declutter and look at books and think maybe if I move the books in a different way and what if I put a different vase on the coffee table and do I need a new throw or can I move one from another room and change it? It's those little things that are important and can

make a difference initially and then you can sit down and say, okay, if I've got a budget to do something, what would it be? Maybe a new light. Light's very important. So if you don't have a lot of light, you don't have a lot of tables to put lighting on, little up lighters that you can hide behind sofas and chairs or to up light into the ceiling so they bounce light off. That kind of thing can be really good. Yeah, so just moving around thinking, playing with what you've got already, freshening up and changing because actually those little tweaks in our external space and sometimes just raise a smile when we look somewhere we always look but we see something different there that reminds us of a certain time where it's just pretty it just looks great and it makes

us happy well think about getting dressed how many how many different ways you wear your jeans you know how one day you get dressed and you throw something different on and you go why did I never do that this is now my favorite look with those shoes and that bag and this t-shirt and whatever but you've never thought about it because you're like a robot you go back and you do the same thing over and over again so it's it's just shaking it all up and just seeing what happens and you can always put it back if it doesn't work that's true nothing has to be permanent and it's playful and i think we lose that as adults sometimes don't we to be creative and to play is just such a good it's such a good feeling and then

sometimes when you start doing it, you start thinking, what else can I shake up? Well, actually, what most people do is go, why did I start this? That is what I hear most of all. Yeah, yeah. Ultimately, it's good. I often start decluttering, and it's like a very physical desire that comes over me, and it's very strong and I start pulling things out, and my husband is often like, oh dear, we're doing this again, are we?

But it always feels so good afterwards, and it says a lightness, isn't there? sometimes that comes with change. And there's so much in life that we can't control. But actually, there are things that we can do, as you're saying, in our environments that can just give us a lift and a fresh enjoyment of our nests, of our homes, of our bases. Yeah. And just to be organized, like tidying out cupboards and having things labeled and, you know, does anyone know where the batteries are?

Yes, they're in the cupboard. It's labeled. You know, like everything should be organized. And if you've got time to do it, going through all your lips. sticks throwing ones that are and then suddenly you've got the three that you always wear and you realize you don't need so much you know less is better like have the stuff around you that you love and that you want rather than this constant buying and gifts that people give you and stuff and you know what you want you know that this is your life make it simpler and and your home simpler and for

your kids as well. And then your mind as well. Deep cluttered. Yeah, I feel like it makes me lighter when things just feel more kind of refined and straightforward and less stuff stuff everywhere. So thank you. Some really brilliant kind of implementable ways to just, yeah, shake up your environment a little bit in the most lovely ways.

And then I think when we change our external environment, then there's all. always something about our internal environment that shifts. Yeah, I mean, I think life is a constant moving piece, isn't it? You know, and it's how things come in and out of your life. But for me, you know, when you stick that, stick in the ground and that's your home and that is the kind of the heart, if you like, everything around it can move and it should move. Like life, life should never be static, but if you feel safe and you feel good in your home

and it smells right and it feels right and the most important people in your life feel good in it everything else is unimportant really yeah yeah so true having that base so for those listening which book out of all the 10 that you have authored would you recommend for the mum probably the latest book

the small little book is really good or House of Hoppins got everything in it amazing yeah so just really accessible ways to have an impact on your environment and then your kind of general well-being I guess as a result yeah and my Instagram I'm always doing stuff on well-being and mentoring and put quotes up most days and things and you know I get lovely messages from people it's just nice a little bit of a nudge here and there yeah yeah I love a quote I love a quote so a quick fire question just to finish off so Kelly besides interiors and the creative

side of you. What else is something that makes you feel good in life? Laughter. Ah, yes. Always. Always. Always have a good laugh. Just is there something you watch? Is it in what you watch or is it just? Just people and laughter and comedy and my partner makes me laugh daily and it's just the best. Well, thank you so much for joining us. It's been a real privilege to chat with you. Thank you so much. Take care. Thank you. much for listening to today's episode of The Therapy Edit. If you have enjoyed it, don't forget to subscribe and review for me. Also, if you need any resources at all, I have lots of videos and

courses on everything from health anxiety to driving anxiety and people pleasing. They are all on my website, anamatha.com. And also, don't forget my brand new book, Raising a Happier Mother is out now for you to enjoy and benefit from. It's all about how to find balance, feel good and see your children flourish as a result. Speak to you soon.