The Therapy Edit - One Thing with Saira Khan on how to glow from the inside out

Episode Date: June 9, 2023

In this guest episode of The Therapy Edit, Anna chats to Saira Khan about how she believes taking a holistic approach to skincare will make you feel wonderful.Saira Khan is a familiar face on our televisions having been a runner up on The Apprentice in 2005 and going on to star in many shows that we all know and love.More recently Saira has founded her own brand of skincare, SairaSkin that you can discover on her website.SairaSkin was born from a genuine desire to help individuals embrace their uniqueness, celebrating the skin they’re in. This means accepting scars, uneven skin tones, stretchmarks, fine lines, and wrinkles.You can also follow Saira on Instagram here

Hello and welcome to The Therapy Edit with me, psychotherapist's mum of three and author Anna Martha. Every Friday, I invite one guest to tell me the one thing they would most like to share with mums everywhere. So join with me as we hear this dose of wisdom. I hope you enjoy it. Hi, everyone. Welcome to today's guest episode of The Therapy Edit. I have with me today, Cyra Khan. Sarah is a very familiar face on our screens.

She is an author, a broadcaster, and an entrepreneur. She has got a book called Push for Success. And she also founded Cyrus Skin, a skincare range for busy women, simple to use, deeply nourishing, and respecting both the skin and the principles of sustainability. She is passionate about supporting women to feel confident in their skin at any age. And I also love that she talks about it's kind of like a spa experience. And sometimes, you know, when you just smell, certain kind of fragrances and oils, and it just transports you somewhere totally different to my little shower cubicle. So is that something that you really enjoy kind of putting those

designing those products? Well, Anna, lovely to meet you for the first time. And you've described my business and my philosophy and my values really clearly. But yes, I want what I grew up with from my Asian heritage, the beauty of natural plant oils to be accessible to every woman because I've seen firsthand of the benefits of them, but also I want women every morning to feel beautiful and confident about themselves. My range isn't about punishing you. My range isn't about saying you've got dark circles, conceal them, you know, blur your face or you've got lines and wrinkles, plump them up, get rid of them. My range is about saying, I'm your best friend, I'm going to look after you, and I'm going

to, when you open me up, you're going to just, you know, smell those aromas and feel good, and it's going to touch your senses, and it's going to give you a big hug, and it's going to give you the best start in the morning. So that routine and that ritual is fundamental. And actually, I talk about female confidence, and it starts from the moment. you wake up, what's the first thing that you do? Do you breathe? Do you go and get some fresh air? Do you, you know, do some stretching? Do you do your skin care and then get on with your day? But that transition from a deep sleep or, you know, your sleep to waking up gently and making time for

yourself is fundamental. And that's where I believe women can gain confidence in those few moments in the morning and also, you know, touching yourself. I mean, people go, ooh, got lost a bit. Yes, you have to touch your skin. You have to touch yourself. You have to be connected. You have to feel you. Because if you are not doing that, how can you be confident? How can you show yourself self-respect? How can you, you know, feel good about yourself and be the best version of yourself. And I do feel that the Western woman is out there doing a load of stuff, amazing stuff, but the one thing she's not doing is connecting with herself and what her body is trying to tell her. I love these ideas of these rituals because I am so ashamed to say that

so many mornings, I roll over, what do I do? I pick up my phone. And I heard someone say the other day, it's like greeting the world before you've even greeted yourself and your family, you know, welcoming the world into your space and how can we reclaim that back? And I love the idea of those rituals just starting with yourself, just grounding yourself and easing into the day and using things that feel more like an experience and a statement than just kind of bish-bash-bosh. Because what are we saying to ourselves and we just kind of just bish-bash-bosh, you know, scrub my face, getting on with it. And actually we can take these opportunities just to make some changes, use some products that are statements to ourselves.

Yeah, and I think, you know what, I believe that in order for you to make time, because this is what, when we talk about busy women, we're talking about moms, we're talking about moms that work, we're just talking about full-time moms, we talk, what you have to do, you have to make that time. Time doesn't come to you. So get up half an hour earlier, which means going to bed half an hour earlier, which means stop scrolling, which means stop and check. I've been here scrolling. How does that feed my life? You know, and it's, it's what we do to ourselves is then a continuum. If you get up and you're

rushing, screaming, scrambling late, your children are seeing that. Your partner is seeing that. You are already in a frazzled state. You've created your own stress. That stress is going to come out in your skin. You look at yourself. Then you go, oh my God, I hate myself. I hate my skin. I've got a breakout. I've got dark circles. My skin looks dull. Well, it is going to be because inside you are frantic. So, you know, even if you just go, don't do breathing, don't do yoga, don't do meditation, don't do this. Get up, sit down, have a cup of tea and just sit with yourself. That's it. And you won't be able to do that if you've got young kids at the same time as they do, you have to do it half an hour earlier. And this is where I talk about, you know,

making your own time. We, in this generation, in this society, we want to blame everybody. Oh, it's my busy lifestyle. Oh, my goodness. Have you seen the amount of work? Oh, my God. It's a cost of living a crisis. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my God. I'm so busy. Yeah. That's all going to be there. So how are you going to change it? It's not going anywhere by giving yourself a good talking to and going, I don't want to feel frantic. I don't want to feel toxic. I don't want to feel stressed out. I want to do, how can I help myself?

Sit down, write a list, be honest with yourself and make that first step. First step, go to bed early, get up early. Yes, mothering yourself, though, isn't it? Because you were saying about how the products of, you know, your heart is to mother the mother, like mother the women in those moments. And you're saying, but to even get there, we need to start parenting ourselves in those at those times when we just know that the clock is ticking. on the sofa and we don't even feel good because of what we've just been kind of trawling through.

And it's parenting ourselves and the decisions that sometimes we need to be firm with ourselves, but we can do it in a loving way because we need to get to bed. If we want to claim that space for ourselves in the morning and start the day in a way that isn't just frazzled from the off, we need to be mothering ourselves as well. Yeah, you need to be mothering yourself and also you need to be listening to what your body is saying. And I've come on here to talk about the very importance of every single woman, child man to take a skin, to have a skincare routine. Okay, because your skin is the largest organ in your body, on your body. It is there to protect you. It is there to, you know,

protect you from harmful chemicals and the UV light and, you know, to stop moisture from escaping. Now, if your skin, if you don't look at yourself and you don't, if your skin is trying to say something to you, if there's congestion, if there's breakouts, if there's acne, if there's dandruff, if there's psorice, if there is eczema, if there is whatever, all of that is to do with your environment, okay? It's not just, oh, I'm unlucky, I've got eczema, it's something that you're feeding yourself. It's about a very weak gut health. It's about perhaps you're not getting enough air. You're using the wrong products. You've got, you're using the wrong chemicals. You haven't got a skincare routine. So it's, you know, when people go,

Oh, it's not about just skin care, is it? No, but this is about you. You carry your skin and your skin is connected to your essence. And if your essence isn't, you know, working well, your skin is the first thing that will say to you, you've got to change something here. You've got to change something here. And, you know, the reason that I am so passionate about this is I have actually got hereditary skin disorder. For years and years, I was not the person that I wanted to be. I hated myself. I hated my skin. I was envious of other people. I couldn't wear what I wanted to wear. I was constantly reminded. I was itchy. I was bleeding. And I have done everything in my power over the years to try and better myself. Well, I'd say that, but I wasn't willing to

you know, go to bed early. I wasn't willing to really look at the food. I wasn't really willing to give up the drink. I really wasn't willing to give up, you know, you know, late nights and all that. I wasn't willing to do that, but I wanted my skin. So I put loads and loads of products on, products on products don't work. Products will not work on their own unless you are willing to change your environment, your stress levels. And that was the thing. So my hereditary skin disorder created so much stress that it just became a continuous. thing, becomes continual, you start putting on loads of product from the high street that don't work. And I know that because I've done 20 years of research. And it's just a vicious

circle. It's only when I thought, right, what is this about? And I started looking at my life jobs that I didn't enjoy, people in my life that I didn't want, but were toxic. Myself, my actions, gossiping, you know, like doing all that stuff. that doesn't make me feel good about myself, when you start really being honest and actually then started becoming more active and going out and being generous and kind and doing other things to,

you actually, all of that has an impact on your skin. That is incredible. Yeah. And it is very much. People think it's a dream or I'll tell you what, I'll have a filler and that'll make me feel good about myself. Yeah, well, you might have a filler,

but you might have a toxic friend. You know what? It's not, it's still not going to make you feel. all good about yourself. Wouldn't it be good though? I think that's that's the hope, isn't it, that we can kind of outsource all of this to a product where you buy the one thing and it fixes everything because it is easier to do that than it is to think about, you know, the wider picture of your life and where that stress might be coming from, what changes you might need to make. So your one thing to all the mums then is to think about skin,

think about routine, think about. It might, my one thing to these busy mums and to women, in generally is look at yourself in the mirror every single morning, put your hands on your face and really just connect. Just connect. I'm not telling you to use my products, but I'm just telling you to look at yourself and value you. What are your values? If I said to you what your values are, what your top three values, people don't even think about that. They're going through life without knowing what their values are. Okay. My values are my family being, you know, transparent, honest, reliable, loyalty, and the environment. They're my environment, you know, and so what I want to give to women in my body is like,

you don't have to worry about what's in there, because I've done that for you. They're just plant oils, it's organic, it's certified, there's just good stuff in there. And I put the, and the sustainability in thinking for future generations, you don't even have to think about that because the ingredients are all organic. We put them in packaging that can be recycled. So that part of your worry, when you're using my product, But you don't have to think about it. That's done.

Tick, you sorted. What I do want you to think about now is now that you've got this on, what else can you do with this product on your face to become the best version of you? That's just to start. What else is your skin saying? Is it saying your gut's not right? Is it saying you're not drinking enough water? Is it saying you're not going to bed enough?

Is it saying you're really stressed out? Okay? because now you have to, with this little ritual, start attacking some of those other little things. You know, excuse me for swearing on here, but if you keep doing the same shit, you're going to get the same results. I'm 53 this year, and I can part give you that wisdom

that I am not the same woman as I was in my 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s. Like, I feel like I'm the best version of myself. I made some big, bold decisions. I gave up certain works on TV because they weren't feeding my values. I've changed my focus on what I love, which is my business, because it makes me connect with women. You know, I get emails every day or DMs, every day from women. Sarah, oh my God, the skincare, I've done this.

I'm starting to use that. I've seen a difference. I'm now starting to walk outside. You say drink two liters of water. I've started to do that. Oh my God. It works. Yeah.

It works. And we have to go beyond. I think that, you know, even the standing and putting your hands on your face and looking yourself in the mirror. And it's about honoring yourself, isn't it? It's about knowing that this is more than just skin. This is all of those other things in your life that perhaps you've been putting out with those things that perhaps you haven't questioned, those habits that you have.

you haven't addressed. It takes more. But this is the inside out stuff that we, you know, this is the stuff that will make us glow. But it's, it's the effort. And I think sometimes it'd be, it'd be, you know, it'd be great if you could just outsource it to a, you know, to a product. But how much do we, how much do we want for ourselves? How much do we want to honor the core of who we are? because we get to do this once and our kids will thrive as we do. You know, I say, you know, our kids' laughter means a world to us,

but our laughter means more to them. 100% and I'm a mom to two, you know, and I will say one thing to you that as a mom and as a woman, okay, I have a huge responsibility to show them how women can be. I want to show them, even though I'm ageing,

I am strong, I am confident, and let me tell you what confidence looks like to me. I will go out every day, well, not every day, but when it requires

without a single scrap of makeup on. Okay? I will go to the salon and I have a little bit of Botox done for me. I'm not doing it for the camera for social media, for me to give myself a pickup.

I do not do not judge other women who have that, who have that, okay? I want my children to see, you know what, my mum can look blooming rough, but she's smiling and she's laughing. We've got neighbours round, and got a scrap and makeup on, because for me as a woman, people don't see my makeup. They're seeing my skills, my talent, my energy, my vibrancy, my stories that I've collected over the years, my love, my laughter. That's what they see. The superficial is for me. If I want to wear makeup one day, great. If I don't, absolutely fine. And if I run a rocket, I know that I can. But the makeup is not what my everyday confidence. Makeup doesn't give you confidence. What gives you

confidence is your naked skin is you, black and white, going out there and showing people your essence. And your essence is your life experience, your skills, your talent, your education, you're standing in your community. And that's what my children see. They see, God, she's, you know, she's still at it. She's still, she's not giving up on herself. And I don't. I will rock a mini skirt at a festival with boots and shape my bum and wear a bikini and do all of that because I don't care what other women think.

This is my life. This is what I want to do. And if I've got Celia and if I've got stretch marks, look at it because I can't change that. And, you know, one of the most empowering things for me was finally I went to see a top dermatologist and he said sira you cannot do anything about this skin condition you can do nothing so it's move around your body it's so rare and there's nobody even in this country that even can i can send you to so just own it and i just thought that and from that day i don't care and you'll see me on my social media sometimes i've got patches all over my arms and my legs don't care because you know

Because if I want you to draw, if I want to draw attention to it, I will and you'll look at it. But if you're seeing my energy and my essence and everything else, you ain't going to, people don't even notice it. Oh, it's like a battle cry. Like, come on, come on. Come on with it. Stop worrying about this stuff. Stop worrying about the stuff. And, you know, some, I know some people, their routine is not the skin, is not to look after what they have, but to hide it, to camouflage.

to put load of crap on it. And it's like, I get that. I get that. But you are lacking self-esteem. You are lacking confidence, you know, and all of that. And don't get me wrong, I wear makeup. I've got bronzer on today. I've got, you know, nothing else on. But I get that. That's part of being feminine and, you know, that's all right. But what I'm saying to you is just as much as you do that, you also have to be completely comfortable, naked in your skin. You have to be. You know, and that's where I say. but I understand if you want to make the best of that, you know, there's nice products out there, go and do that. But look after that naked you because I've been in situation when I did

Celebrity S-A-S, no makeup, no mobile phone, detached from my family under the most stressful situations and all I had was my inner strength to get through it. And this is, you don't have a second chance at this life, this is it. And whatever you do and you've got young kids, they are looking at you, they're looking you to see what does confidence looks like, what does self-esteem look like, what does assertiveness look like, what does not being a mug look like, what, you know, you are the cues. Yeah, so empowering. So thank you so much for this incredible, powerful, just awakening pep talk that I know people are going to return to. But I have got some quick five questions to finish off. Yes. In a few words, what's a motherhood high for you?

motherhood high there's so many but the one is that at this mother's day for the first time the kids had got pocket money and they bought me my son bought me a necklace that i'm never ever going to take off the first time with his pocket money and my daughter went to charity shop and bought me loads and little bits for 10 pounds and that really was a huge eye you know spending their first money on my mother's day presence was just priceless oh oh how wonderful oh that necklace would not be coming off of it either. And what's a motherhood low for you? I think the motherhood low was when I was going through the menopause and, you know, I was taking it out on my family and I didn't realize why I was. You know, the kids going through puberty and me going through the menopause,

that was quite a dark time. And it was like, what is going on? I'm going to be really honest with that. But, you know, thank God for HRT. Thank God for women and chats. signposting and loads of women out there talking about the menopause. Yeah, so we got through it, but that was quite low. Yeah, and thank you for you, show about that, because I think, you know, I am 37, nearly 38,

and I have an awareness now that I'm sure my mum did not have at my age, thanks to, thanks to you and others showing so openly and empowering us as well, because otherwise it can feel a little bit bleak and taboo, and you don't really know what you're entering into, but you, yeah, really, the narrative is really changing. So thank you. And finally, what is one thing that makes you feel good? Beside walking, what's something else that makes feel really good? Oh, it's my everyday skincare.

When I look, honestly, I know that I'm a skincare owner and people are going, you know, she can't say that. But honestly, that is my everyday ritual. I cleanse my face with my oil. I put my vitamin C on. I put my facial oil on. I put my sun protection on. That is me.

I'm ready to rock and roll. and that I do religiously. Yeah, well, thank you for inspiring us in that. And you're glowing. You're glowing from the inside out. It's not just a bronzer. I know you have. I know, but you are.

You are. You exude it. So thank you for just passionately encouraging us to find our glow. And to, yeah, to honour ourselves in the morning as the first thing that we do. So thank you. Thank you so much. It's my pleasure. Thank you for letting me have the conversation.

Oh, thanks, Sarah. take care. Thank you so much for listening. Please do take a moment to subscribe, rate and review as it really helps get these words out to benefit more juggling parents like us. And head to anamatha.com to find my resources on everything from health anxiety to people pleasing starting at only £20. And finally, don't forget to pre-order my new book, Raising a Happier Mother, How to Find Balance, Feel Good

and See Your Children Flourish as a baby. result. I can't wait for you to have that. Take care and we'll chat soon.