The Therapy Edit - THROWBACK - One Thing with Rebecca Wilson on making life easier

Episode Date: September 6, 2024

In this THROWBACKS series of The Therapy Edit, we're bring back some of our most loved episodes from the archives. In this episode of The Therapy Edit, Anna spoke to guest Rebecca Wilson who offers fellow mums the tip that they don't need to aspire to perfection every single day.Rebecca is the founder of a family food and eating platform that you can find at www.rebeccawilson.comYou can also follow her on Instagram at @rebeccawilsonfoodWhen she began weaning her daughter Nina onto solid food at 6 months Rebecca wanted to cook once for herself and her daughter to save time, but struggled to find recipes that were suitable for herself and her daughter.After extensive research into what foods babies can and can’t have, Rebecca discovered that with some imagination and creativity, it was possible to cook meals that babies and adults could enjoy together. She applied her personal love of cooking to creating recipes for her and Nina which brought some variety and spark to their weaning journey.Soon, she started sharing her recipe ideas and weaning journey (the highs and lows) on her Instagram channel, originally called What Mummy Makes. Very quickly the audience grew, with more and more people inspired to try Rebecca’s method of cooking for their family just once.Today she is a published author of three top selling books,

Hello and welcome to the Therapy Edit podcast with me, psychotherapist Anna Martha. I love bringing bite-sized thoughts and conversations to support your well-being in your busy lives. Behind the scenes, we are working on bringing you a whole new series, but in the meantime, we have delved into the archives and we'll be sharing some of our most loved nuggets, light bulb moments and powerful chats. I hope you enjoy them. Hi, lovely listeners. Today is a guest episode and I am so excited I have with me, Rebecca Wilson. I found Rebecca Wilson. She's on Instagram as Rebecca Wilson Food. And I think it was when I was going through that kind of like early food journey with Florence. And I think someone sent me her page and it's just absolutely full of really accessible recipes and just ideas of how to be a bit more creative with meal times. I think it's so easy to get. into a rut. And Rebecca is really passionate about sharing kind of meal ideas that are for the whole family. So she was a stay-at-home mom. She was weaning her, lovely daughter Nina. I was thinking, I want to eat with her. All of these, all of these kind of recipes are just, you know,

are making just purely for the baby. But what about what about the rest of her? She has so many books. She's got her family comfort books. She's probably the first book that she wrote was what mummy makes and she's also got a meal planner which is so helpful. Her new book, which is out on September 5th, just after my birthday. So I'm going to get myself out. I'm going to put that on my birthday list. And it's called fast family food, delicious family food, prepped in 10 minutes. 10 minutes, I'm in. So Rebecca, it's so good to have you here. How are you today? Oh, thank you for having me. Oh, it's a pleasure, treasure. How are you today? I'm good. Thank you. Yeah, I've just done the school run and rushed home and sought myself out.

And here we are. What a good start to the day to talk to the lovely Anna. Oh, well, thank you. We had a little bit of a chat before we hit record. And you were saying, I was asking you about how you came to writing recipes. And I just thought it was amazing because you felt that there weren't any there. So you just started researching and creating your own. And you're surrounded by cookbooks that you started collecting when you were a young teenager.

14 and 15, yeah. I've always loved food and I've brought my my mom is an amazing cook and I've been brought up in a foodie household. So I just always loved cookbooks and I have such a nostalgia watching like Nigella and Jamie Oliver on the telly and I just love food basically. So I've always been really interesting cooking. But it wasn't until I had Nina that it all kind of changed because it was always kind of like a pipe dream to work. working food. I was working. I did fashion at uni and I went into buying when I was, um, when I graduated. And then when I had Neen, I started creating these recipes as I would always do at home. But then I thought I'd just share them on Instagram, you know,

with no big intention of what, what it could lead to in my wildest dreams. I never thought it would be this. Wow. Um, but yeah, I just started sharing a little bit and then people found me and really liked my recipes that I was making asked for more and it really led from there really. Well, that's amazing. I think when something just so naturally comes out of a passion that has been with you for so long and that desire just to eat together because I think you're so right. So much of kind of kids food recipes are for children, but actually what about when you want to eat together? What about if you don't want to cook twice or maybe, you know, affordability getting different ingredients for two different sets of like grown up food?

and children food. And actually, I think that's what I love is that all your food, I would more than happily devour as well. Oh, that's really nice to hear. But I often say that I feel like there's no, there shouldn't be such a thing as baby food. There's just food that's suitable for babies as well as toddlers and all the children and us. And I think there's so many benefits to eating together with your child, not only the financial aspect and the time aspect of just cooking one meal, but sitting together with your child and eating together, them seeing you enjoy healthy food and enjoy the meal that you're all eating together, it really instills so many healthy attributes like healthy eating and helps them learn how to physically eat, helps them combat

fattener. So, you know, if they can see other people eating the same food as you, it really helps them feel more intrigued and helps you raise confident little foodies. So that's what I, I knew I wanted to do that with my Nina. I grew up like that eating the same food with my mum. So when I started weaning Nina, I felt like I wanted to create recipes and create food, cook food that was for me and for her because as well, I don't have time to feed Nina.

And then I'll just forget about myself and that's not good. You know us, moms, we need to look after ourselves as well, don't we? So I want to eat all together as a family and that's what I try to do my recipes is create food that is suitable for everybody but it's just proper food that I want to eat and other parents want to eat and often I have people come to me and say

they don't actually have children and they just really like my recipes so they buy my books and cook my food which makes it feel really happy. Yeah, of course that does and I'm in a real habit at the moment of the kids eat early and then I later when my husband comes home from work kind of any time between half seven and nine, so I tend to eat with him. But actually, so then I

end up cooking two different meals, but you're right. Even if I'm not eating with the kids every night of the week, there's nothing to stop me just doing one lot of cooking. Right. Yeah. You can even still, you can cook that one meal and then you can just have a tiny little snack with them, you know, just like a really small plate. So you're still sitting down with them and eating a little bit with them. And then you have the main bit later. So you're just kind of like nibbling a little bit. I mean, I'll do that anyway, to be honest. So why not sit with them, like sit down with them? No, I, yeah, I feel, I feel inspired. Thank you. So we haven't even got to your one thing yet. And I'm already, I've already got something I want to do and change and try. But Rebecca, what is the one thing you'd love to share with all mums?

Well, I honestly feel like we put way too much pressure on ourselves. And I feel like, I feel like you just don't need to do it all. You don't need to cook an amazing meal every single day. You don't need to be a five-star chef and through loads of ingredients every single day. Just pick and choose how you're feeling that day. You know, if you one day you want to try a more extravagant recipe and you want to spend a little bit longer in the kitchen, that's fantastic. And then if the next day you really can't be bothered, don't.

Honestly, don't feel the pressure to do it. pick a really quick recipe, a 10 minute recipe, or, you know, find, find a, to raid the freezer and do a, you know, a ready meal. If you really want to, you don't, don't put too much pressure on yourself to be a perfect parent every day. And, and, you know, don't feel the, the pressure from other parents of following their routines. Everybody is different and follow your own path. Yeah. So helpful. And I love that kind of the raiding the freezer. And I think, You know, it's so worth when you're cooking something just to do, like, do some extra portions and shove it in because that's what I often do. I've got a draw that is just meals, like left, kind of leftovers that are like on purpose. Do you know what I mean extra that I've coached? I shove it in there. Because you're right, we have different energy levels each day, don't we? Dependent on what kind of night we had or what other stresses might be going on on in our life. So we might, one day we might think, yeah, I've got the energy and actually I might even really enjoy cooking today. But the next day, you might feel absolutely flawed, like you can't even be bothered to kind of stand in the kitchen.

And then you've got something there. But I think you're right, like taking that pressure off yourself to be consistent in how we're feeding our families. Yeah, definitely. And I really like to try and focus on recipes in a lot of my books that are all about back cooking and making bigger portions, you know, for tonight and then have lots of leftovers, bang them in the free. or even the fridge for a couple of days. And then you feel like you don't have to cook every single day, you have to be in the kitchen for ages every single day.

And you can just take some time to just relax, you know, listen to your body. Sometimes I really can't be bothered to cook. And that is totally normal. And, you know, if you cook one really big meal once a week and then the rest of them are just quick meals, you know, even a picky plate. My Nina loves a picky plate. honest about that what's the picky plate tell us a picky plate in our house is like a bit of cheese

some crackers some mumgilt cucumber I always like my little hat tag it's not really mumgilt but you know we've always got to keep in the fridge that you just shove in there for a bit of green just a little collection like a fridge raid and I quite often give that turn and she loves them and it just means

that I have some picky bits as well and we all kind of have put like a plate together and it's like five minutes in the kitchen and then I can just relax because sometimes I've had a really busy day and I really just can't be bothered to cook and I don't feel guilty for that and I think if we're all eating a balanced healthy diet then it's fine it really is fine so yeah don't put too much pressure on yourself I like that you you can't sometimes you can't be bothered and you don't feel guilty and I think I love that because often we think of can't being bothered as being kind of lazy and

and just uncaring, whereas actually sometimes we can't be, we don't, what does it even mean to can't be bothered? I don't want to, I don't have the energy that I want to put into that or I have the energy, but I don't really feel like putting it into that right now. I want to use it on something else or I want to, you know, yeah. Yeah. And also why, why, what's the need to push yourself so much all the time to live up to an unrealistic standard? when if your if your body is telling you to just take have a rest listen because your kids need you to be well rested and mentally and actively there don't they so why push yourself to your stress limits if you really haven't got the time or the want to do it yeah so maybe next time

you feel like you can't be bothered instead of just feeling guilty and kind of pushing through maybe just seeing that as your body saying, yeah, no, I don't want to today. I don't feel like it. I don't have the energy or I want to do something else. And instead of feeling guilty, what if you just saw that as an opportunity to respect that you feel limited in that way today? And how can you take, you know, how can you cut a corner? How can you, you know, take the stress out of it? How can you do the basic? How can you, you know, just make it easier for yourself that day? And then maybe you might be bothered tomorrow maybe yeah definitely i and a shameless little plug into my new book i do actually have a section on picky plates and lots of different ideas and how to put together the perfect

picky plate so uh shameless little plug there but i thought it was helpful for you guys i just i think what i love about this new one is that fast family food like is if you have a book full of things that actually only take 10 minutes to prep on those nights that you can't can't be bothered, you know, we can often find 10 minutes, you know, five minutes, 10 minutes to just shove something together. For me, that is so much more attractive than on those days where I just feel like, uh, than having to cook our whole thing, stand in the kitchen for like half an hour. You know, this is, this is what we need. I like anything that can be done 10 minutes. That's why my podcast is so short. Yeah. I think sometimes if you, you can get

quite daunted about cooking as well, can't you? You can say, oh, I just, I've got to get up and I've got, I've got to do this now. I've got to be in the kitchen for an hour, an hour. But if you say to yourself, it's just 10 minutes, just 10 minutes. That's all, that's all I'm going to need to prep this meal and it's either cooked in that 10 minutes, or you can put it in the oven and then go and sit down or go and do all the other stuff that us parents need to do. But that's it.

If you could just, 10 minutes isn't a lot of time, is it at all? and you feel less daunted by it and you feel even if I do feel like I really can't be bothered, 10 minutes is it okay? Yeah, I can find 10 minutes I can find the mustard to do 10 minutes. Yeah, we can always, we can find 10 minutes.

I'm a massive fan of the chopped onion in the freezer, the chopped garlic. What else have I got chopped up in there? I've got quite a few things chopped up in my freezer because then I just grab a handful. As soon as it says chop an onion, sometimes it's that that's enough to put. you know, oh gosh.

Yeah, that's it. Actually, I've tried to avoid too many chopping onions in my recipe. It's those little steps that I like to just cut out, to be honest. Yeah, or just tops some money and up and stick it in the freezer. And then you've done it once on a day that you could be bothered for all the other days in the future where you can't be bothered. And if it says chopped onion, it doesn't matter because you've got some to shove it in. Perfect tip. I love it.

Nice ways to keep things simple. Take the pressure off ourselves. Embrace the days sometimes when you can't be bothered. We're not going to not be bothered for our whole lives, are we? Yeah. And it's just like the kids sometimes don't have energy. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, one day you can have some, you can have some energy and the next day not, you know, and it's fine. It's fine to not be on it every single day. Yeah. That's human, isn't it? It's we can't function at the same level all the time because that, that's what machinery does. You know, and we're not with thinking, feeling, processing, beings, you know. And yeah, it's just a very high thing to expect of ourselves, isn't it?

Yeah. So, Rebecca, what, I've got some quick-fired questions for you. So I'm going to hit you with them because I haven't told you what they are yet, have I? And some people like to know, some people don't. So we decided we wouldn't tell you. So they're coming, they're coming. Don't be nervous. You can't get them wrong, really.

What's a motherhood high for you? Something that makes you feel good in motherhood? oh when when nina says something really kind to me or to other people like i'll get that so my eyes start to fill with water and i you know and i feel like a happiness inside my chest like it just makes me feel like i'm doing something right right now and she's such a beautiful kind person do you know what i mean like i'm welling up now thinking about it that's what i love i love that because when you know you are a very kind person. We've chatted over the last kind of year or two, haven't we?

And you came all the way down to my little book gathering. You're really kind. You kind of emanated. So I think it's so lovely, isn't it? When you see something coming out of them and you know it's because you've had a part to play in all those moments where perhaps you felt like not being so kind and you chose to be kind and she's absorbed that and it's coming out. And we know that they're not always kind.

But there are those points where I think we think, I'm not doing a bad job. Yeah, that's it. That's it. Yeah. So on the opposite, what's the motherhood low for you? Oh, God. I think, goodness, I think maybe, you know, I try not to put too much pressure on Nina because she is only four, turning five. But you sometimes feel a little bit disappointed when they have done something super naughty. And you think to yourself, how do I handle the situation?

Maybe I didn't handle it right. Maybe I shout it too loud and I get that guilty feeling. And I think, did I do something wrong to teach her that that's how she should behave? And all these doubts and things go through my mind. And at those moments, that's when I feel my lowest moments in motherhood. When I just, I have too much doubts and my self-confidence around motherhood is at a low. And everything just feels like you just feel like you're questioning everything and taking on quite a lot of blame and guilt and sense of responsibility. I hear you. And what's one thing that makes you feel good? Oh. What's one thing that makes me feel good? Goodness me. I would say being out in nature. I love being by the seaside.

and being out in open spaces, feeling the fresh air on my face. And just being with Nina and enjoying these moments and the calm and peacefulness, that's what makes me feel happy and good. Being outside. It's really therapeutic as well, isn't it? And how would you describe motherhood in three words? Three words. I mean, you can use more or less.

Okay. Motherhood in three words, I would say, firstly exhausting beautiful and oh goodness me just happiness happiness

I've always wanted to be a mother and Nina is my absolute world and she brings me so much joy and happiness wonderful oh well thank you so much for sharing with us today and I can't wait to get my hands on fast family food, 10 minutes.

Yeah, that's all we need. And thank you for bringing all the honesty around motherhood that you share and all your incredible creative gifting in how we feed ourselves and our families and our children. So thank you so much for chatting with this today and showing your one thing. Thank you for having me. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Grab a copy of my new book, The Uncomfortable Truth.

Change your life by taming 10 of your mom. minds greatest fears, where we tackle some of life's uncomfortable truths that rob us of energy, joy and headspace, such as some people don't like me, I'm going to fail, bad things will happen. And as we move into a place of radical acceptance of these truths, you will find yourself living more freely and intentionally with more presence and confidence than ever before. You can find it at your usual bookseller. But in the meantime, just feel free to hit subscribe. episode please do share it so that we can get more ears benefiting from the words that we share.