The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Abbi Jacobson

Episode Date: July 8, 2019

Actor, author and showrunner Abbi Jacobson joins Andy Richter for the series debut of The Three Questions with Andy Richter. They discuss Abbi’s upbringing in an artistic family outside of Philadelphia, the complicated process of discovering what’s best for you and the importance of finding your tribe. Later, Abbi shares what’s next for her (professionally and personally) post-Broad City.This episode is sponsored by Drop (code: QUESTIONS).

Hey, we're ready, everyone. We're ready to do a podcast. Andy Richter here. You're listening to the Three Questions with Andy Richter. And I believe this is our inaugural premiere event. We've recorded some, but this is going to be the pressure's on, Abby. Wait, it is? Yes, this is our big launch episode.

Oh, man, I'm scared. Yes, you better come through. I'll be good. I'll be good. If you don't cry by the end of this, I'm going to consider it a personal failure of yours. I don't know if that'll be that difficult. Oh, really? All right. Sweet, sweet. Well, then I'll explain it to you because of people

listening too. I mean, although I've explained it before and it's not that hard to get. The three questions are, where do you come from? Where are you going? And what have you learned? And we have about an hour to go through it. Well, anyway, thank you so much. And Abby Jacobson is here. How about that? From Broad City. And you have a book out, right? And you just did the audio book? I did. Yeah. The paperback comes out in the end of October because that's like what happens, I guess. And it's called? It's called I Might Regret This. Oh, right, right. I knew that. I should know these things. I don't regret it. You don't regret the book at all? Turns out, no. So the title is a lie. It is a lie. But when I wrote it, it wasn't. I guess that is true. It's a conditional truth.

Yes. So what's that about? It is about a couple years ago, I was really heartbroken. And I was in this spot where I was really devastated. Like a lover broken heart. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was a moment where it was, had been a couple months and I was like realizing I was such a workaholic and broad city. We were, I broke up and I was devastated and we were shooting season four. Yeah.

And I was like, I would go home and be like a different person. Yeah. But while it actually was great to be distracted by the show. Right. You have to perform. Yes. And then we edited and Alana and I sit in the edit every day. And then it was like, this was ending. And I was like, fuck, this is ending.

I'm going to just be devastated. Like, what am I going to do for this hiatus? And so I was like, I got to, I'm going to, I know what I'll do. I'll sell a book. I'll pitch this book about this road trip because I had to be out here for work. I had like three weeks in quotes off. And I was like, I got to create a project and I'll have no idea what exactly it'll be, but I'm going to pitch this book and it's the only way I'll take a vacation. And yeah, I ended up going back. I went by myself for three weeks. Yeah, I drove. And the book is sort of divided into chapters and it's like how I was feeling. And it's about work and me. It was with a woman.

I only dated men. That's a big part. A woman broke your heart? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I only dated men and it was like, so that was like a big transition. You were used to men stepping on your heart. Yeah, yeah.

That's what they do. Or I was used to probably stepping on their hearts. Damn. Now, I imagine when's what they do. Or I was used to probably stepping on their hearts. Damn. Now, I imagine when you set out to write the book, there wasn't an aspect of, I'll show her, I'll write a book about her. No, and it's not even about- Did any of it get to that, though? Because that would be fantastic. No, it wasn't about her.

I don't need you. Look at me, driving across the country, writing a book. Well, you know- across the country, writing a book. Hit the road, sister. You know, I wish some of the book was about like that, but it's more like it's not making me look incredible. It's not about like how many people I fucked on the road. Right, right. Because I didn't like do anything really triumphant on the road.

So it was mostly about. Did you feel pressure too? Like, oh shit, I need an ending. Well, I was like, here we go. Yeah. But then I was like, this is scary. Like, I was like, I can't, what am I going to go to like a bar in the middle of West Texas by myself? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No. Absolutely. So it was like a real internal journey. Yeah. And that's what I was kind of trying to get to. Wait, can I say, oh, go ahead. No, no, you go ahead. I wanted to say something real quick before I Wait, can I say, oh, go ahead. No, you go ahead. I wanted to say something real quick before I forget,

because I, you know, there was this short story that I was in college that I loved, and I think I just loved it because of the title. And I went to art school and I did this piece about it. It's this Joyce Carol Oates short story called Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been? Or Where Have You Been, Where Are You Going? And it feels so much like what your whole podcast is about.

Oh, wow. I will look it up. And I think the short story might not even be like- So much. So much about it. But that title always was like, that is who you are. Yeah. Because those two things identify like who you are presently.

Absolutely. Yeah. So I forgot that. I think the places that you've been, and I don't just mean the geographic places. I mean the sort of emotional places that you've been that are colored by the people that you're around. They're absolutely definitive. They define you in a way. And it's, you know, and you can be sort of, I think there's a lot of people are frustrated by the amount of influence that their environment and their people around, you know, the environment, meaning the people around them, how much effect it has on who they are.

Yeah. But you might as well get used to it. Because that's, yeah. That's how it works. That's the kind of monkey we are, you know? I mean, we soak up what we're in. Yeah. And it sticks.

And it's kind of how you react to it. But regardless, it's affecting you. Yeah you react to it, but regardless it's affecting you. Yeah. Yeah. Well, tell me about your start. You're from. I'm from outside Philadelphia. Outside Philly, yeah. A town called Wayne. And your folks were kind of artsy, right? Yeah. Graphic designer. Yeah. My dad is a graphic designer and my brother is my, I have an older brother. He is too. And they, they actually work together in Philly. And my mom is – I have an older brother. He is too. And they actually work together in Philly. And my mom growing up was a potter. Oh, wow.

We had a kiln like in my basement. Wow. And she would sell her work at craft shows. Yeah. In the tri-state area. You say was. Is she still? She was more of a potter.

And now she's like – she's kind of like a found object artist. Like she has a studio space in her house that is covered with just creations. She doesn't sell them anymore. Oh, wow. She just like makes stuff. Just makes stuff. Never went to school for it. Just goes up and like makes things, which is so inspiring. Yeah, yeah.

Absolutely. Does she give them away? Yeah. Now she kind of gives them away. Yeah. And they're also like all over the house. Right, right. But yeah, it's a very inspiring space.

I talked to Lauren Bouchard, who created Bob's Burgers, and he kind of talked about coming from a blue collar artistic background and people that just kind of create because they have to create. Yeah. Like, I just feel like, I think left to my own devices i wouldn't be making comedy i would be making meals and furniture you know what i mean i wouldn't like the actual art that i get paid for yeah yeah it's kind of hard to just do you can't just be like like me come you need to then go and show it but i mean you could i guess you one could conceivably sit and write comedy, but that's never been my comedy anyway. My comedy has always been collaborative.

And that always, even if you're writing it alone, it is always kind of with the intention of showing it. Oh, yeah. I think people that make things, it is supposed to be seen by other people, but it doesn't necessarily have to be. Yeah, yeah. It's more of a personal thing. It's the making of it. Yeah. It's done when they make be. Yeah, yeah. Like, it's more of a, like, personal thing. It's the making of it. Yeah. It's done when they make it.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, my parents are totally that. Like, they both were more blue collar. You know, my dad sort of built a business as I grew up. So it's sort of like he was, like, middle, and then, like, I probably was, like, upper middle class when I was a kid. But, yeah, neither of my parents went to college. How did they meet?

They met when they were 15 at overnight camp. Oh, wow. Really cute. And did they start dating right away? Yeah. My mom's from South Jersey. My dad's from downtown Philly, Overbrook. From totally different worlds, then.

Totally. Across the river. Drastically different, like, annoying accents. then. Totally. Across the river. Drastically different, like annoying accents. Yes. Yeah. They got married when they were 20. Wow. And then, yeah.

And they're still together? They are not together. Oh, they're not together. No. They were married for like 25 years. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's pretty amazing for 20.

Yeah. Yeah. No, 25. I just am ending a 25-year marriage. Oh, you are. Yeah. One of the things we read said think of it as the completion of the – not the end or not a failure, but as the completion. And it helps.

It's a long time. It helps, yeah. Like I think now as an adult, everyone paints a picture of their childhood. And I'm like, yeah, they're like, really good friends. I'm like in a perfect divorced, like a child of divorce, which like, obviously, as a kid, I was like, fuck this. Yeah. How old were you? I was 13. Yeah. So like, not the best time, but it truly is as an adult. I'm like, they were married for 25 years. That's a long fucking time. Yeah. I cannot even imagine being in a relationship for like five years.

Yeah. So I'm like, good job. You did a good job. Have they, either one of them remarried? Yeah, they're both remarried. Oh, that's great. Yeah, yeah. And you like your step parents? I do. I mean, they might not listen to this. I do. I don't really refer to them as step parentsparents because it was like – I was like such an adult.

Yeah. And they – I never like lived at home with them. So they're just like by their names. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean – but you don't – well, they are your step – No, but they've been around for like over a decade each. Yeah.

So it's – yeah, they're great. And I kind of see now, you know, oh, this is like – my parents are so different and this is the spouses that they amplify their differences in a good way. Yeah. Like why they don't belong together. Right. Exactly. Exactly. Like you can see like that's – she's not what mom is.

Uh-uh. Not at all. And he's not what dad is. Yeah, yeah. It's nice that you can see that. Yeah. And that they're happy and friendly enough to, you know, sort of continue. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's nice that you can see that. Yeah. And that they're happy and friendly enough to, you know, sort of continue. Yeah, we do.

My brother has two kids, two little girls. And since he had them, we do Thanksgiving together. Because for them, it's like, you know, it's a heart. Everybody, yeah, yeah. And everybody gets along. It was the same way in my family. It's a little weird. A number of divorces.

Yeah, and it is weird, and it's tense for a while, and then it just all sort of. It's actually just weird because my parents don't hang out, and then when we're together, they will go back to a funny story from when they were 22, and I always feel like the other spouses are like, uh-huh. Oh, really? Bunny. It's awkward. Yeah, it's like, okay, guys, stop with the, like, inside jokes.

Yeah, yeah. Stop being so familiar. Yes, exactly. Childhood sweethearts. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's got to be weird. Yeah. So what kind of kid were you?

Were you a creative kid? Were you an artistic kid? I mean. I was, yeah. So my parents, it was, like, kind of like a maker household. Like, I always got art supplies as gifts. was, yeah. So my parents, it was like kind of like a maker household. Like I always got art supplies as gifts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I drew all the time.

Yeah. It's cool now. I have all these sketchbooks from when I was a kid that are just like filled with, I drew a lot of people. I don't know. And characters. And I also played a lot of sports. So my brother's like three and a half years older than me. And I kind of did whatever he did. So he also went to art school. He can draw way better than me. And

he was an athlete. So I kind of just did whatever he did. At the time, did you, were you like following his footsteps? Was it a conscious decision or it just sort of happened? I think it was just like, oh, he's like so cool. But also I was good at drawing too. Yeah. And then he was, I was good at sports. So like I could go and like we would have a catch at night in the, do you say that? I've gotten called out for saying, let's go have a catch.

No, no. Play catch. I say have a catch. Yeah, yeah. It's a Philly thing. It must be a Philly thing. Yeah, because people are like, what now? It sounds like English. Let's have a catch, shall we?

Let's go have a catch. Let's go have a catch in the yard. Yep. But we did. And yeah, I could be up to his level. So that was fun. Yeah. I think I got better because of that.

I was taught baseball by my mother, who's a tomboy and who learned how to catch and throw from having her older brother stand her against what was then the barn. And by the time it was the same building, but it had become a big garage and just throw the ball as hard as he could at her. And my mother- So she like had to catch it. Yeah.

So she had to catch it and had to learn to not flinch. And that's the methodology my mother used on me and my brother, too. Oh, my gosh. She's like, it worked for me. It works for you. And yeah, she could throw the fucking ball hard. And you did have to kind of like, all right, get used to it. Yeah.

He didn't do that. Yeah. But I guess I, yeah, I don't think there was any like. No, but I mean, there is, you know. I think that's very empowering for women to be able to. I mean, I used to play in Illinois. We'd play fast pitch softball. That was a thing.

It's with a smaller ball and it's the big over, you know, like when you see women's college, that's what we would play. But it was men and women and it was all these different sort of tavern leagues. That's awesome. In Illinois. Yeah, it was really fun because it's a really fun game. And it's fast and it's hard. And it's really something because people can throw the ball over 90 miles an hour that way. I mean, that swing around is kind of scary. Yeah.

Yeah. And there was a tavern that had, in its day, had urban cowboy mechanical bulls. Like, it was like one of those. It was almost like a roadhouse. And in the back, they had a softball field. And they had all these Tavern League softball games. And our church team one time played combined with some of the women from the Bar League. And I was playing first base.

And every time, like, I think I just left because it was kind of a casual pickup game. Because they threw, the women that were in the infield threw the ball so fucking hard that it was like bruising my palm. Like from second base. Like it just like a kind of easy ground ball and they'd be coming and then she would just whip it in. This is an intramural league. We're going to have a drink. Ow. You're hurting me, softball lady but anyway yeah no i i think neither one of my kids are are particularly sporty they both are

sort of okay and coordinated and play tennis and stuff but they both my son set the tone very early on by saying i don't want to play in any sport where there are other parents yelling. And I thoroughly endorsed that. I was like, I can- That doesn't happen in tennis? Completely. Not really. It would just be one other parent yelling.

Yes, exactly. So- No, there's, yeah, there's like, and even then it's like the asshole parents aren't like demonstrable or demonstrative. They're just- I think this is like a thing now. Like I was, soccer was my main sport yeah like travel soccer i don't remember parents going nuts uh yeah i do a little bit i

remember there being angry dads really okay and in high school basketball games i remember parents getting thrown out for going onto the court to yell at refs in high school basketball wow yeah i guess it is like in a place to take out the aggression. Yeah. But it's also, yeah, it's fucked up. It's like, it is a place where pretty much they hang a sign outside sports. It's like, bring your fucked up shit here and work it out. You know, like.

What's a shame your son is like not doing it because of the parents? Not that big of a shame. No, no. I guess. And then you don't have to be like, okay. Yeah, yeah. No, it's fine And then you don't have to be like Okay Yeah, yeah No, it's fine Let's go, you know, swimming

He and I also too would try And we would play catch Because it just seems like Some sort of societal obligation Some cultural obligation That I have a son That we should go play catch And I like baseball

And I play softball and baseball And we would go And both of us in about five minutes Would be like Okay, that's enough let's you know you want to go cook something yeah you know you want to but that's that's cool that that's a thing like cooking now is such a wider oh yeah like everyone's so into it and there's like it is a like teams it can be like a team sport where you're like doing it with people absolutely yeah

absolutely no it is it's it's it's it's our main sport where you're like doing it with people. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. No, it is. It's, it's, it's, it's our main thing. You should have like cooking teams. They do sort of. Do they? Oh, in high school, no. Wouldn't that be cool? Like a debate team? Like a.

It's probably starting. Cook a meal, right? It's probably starting because all those shows. Yeah. Yeah. It would make very good sense. All right. So did you go to public school?

I did. Yeah. I went to public school outside Philly. Activities, extracurriculars? I did the sports. I was class secretary. Nice. Smoked pot. Yeah.

That was an extracurricular. A lot? I did. That was like the height of my pot smoking. Really? High school. Starting? 14. 14. Wow.

And then high school and college. Yeah, yeah. And surprisingly, even though my show is very much about that, when I moved to New York, I stopped smoking as much. Yes. Were your folks aware of it? So again, something I sort of followed my brother into. Yeah.

Heavy pot smoker. Yeah, yeah. Dreads. Yeah, oh wow. The whole followed fish. Yes, of course. Which is why I like ended up following fish in high school. And then I don't need more.

No offense to them. But. I gave them up with the weed. But because I, yeah, I gave it to the character on the show. And then it's been like, Abby's obsessed with fish. And it's such a nostalgic time in my life. Yeah. I think my parents knew. And they're like, they smoke a little time in my life. Yeah. Yeah. I think my parents knew,

and they're like, they smoke a little bit. So like, they didn't tell me that in high school, but now they're like, so what's the best like vape pen? We'll figure it out together. Right, right. I'll bring you one. Yeah. I was like, I'll get you one. I'll bring you one. Yeah. But my public school actually did have a great art program. So I kept doing that. Yeah. And then I ended up going to art school for college in Baltimore.

Now, what stopped the weed smoking? I just don't want to. Well, so I moved to New York after college. I was 22. And I think New York was, like, so overwhelming. Like, even though I went to school in Baltimore, which is overwhelming in a very different way, like way more dangerous, just feels more like real. Yeah. It's very gritty. It's a rough town. New York was like, wow, people are out all night. I could be alone on the street at night. I cannot

in Baltimore. I truly didn't feel safe. And that's a fairly recent thing in New York too. That's, I think maybe 20 years ago. Yeah. So I've only been in New York like 13 years. And I think it might've been like, I was out late all the time doing comedy. So it was like every night I was like UCB, other shows, going out to the bar after and taking the subway home, even though I was like a little tipsy, if I was drunk, I would always take a cab. But being high, I was just, there were so many other people that seemed to like affect me. And I didn't like being high when like anyone else could like come into my world.

And then I kind of just stopped. Just stopped, yeah. I mean, I smoked like sort of socially. Yeah. Did it inform your creative process as it does with some people? Yes. I didn't feel like it was helping my comedy. I couldn't ever, I didn't and don't like smoking and then like going on stage. Yeah. Yeah. I tried it once in the years when I did improv. I thought

one late show, I was like, yeah, let's go in the alley and get a little high and then get on stage. Never again. No, it's terrible waste of weed and comedy yeah we did it once alana and i for a broad city live show we used to have monthly show and it was and was it explicit like it was like broad city gets like that was the theme of the show everyone that was on the show like had to smoke weed yeah and it was like a shit show yeah we were like it is like an hour-long show. We're so quiet. It wasn't as funny as we used to. You didn't care about entertaining. No, we got so –

Yeah, I don't know. And I think also my anxiety – I didn't ever think I had anxiety, maybe until New York. Also, things start to get, like, really real. Yeah. Like, me having a job in college isn't the same as me having a job I hate in the real world. Yes. You know? Yes.

So there was, like, just bigger things to, I don't know. No, being a grown-up tends to have anxiety that comes along with it. Yeah, yeah. No, and I understand that, too. When you first get to New York, like, I still don't like wearing headphones or earbuds in New York City. Really? I don't like feeling so cut off from my surroundings that I can't hear what's happening. And it's not like I'm afraid I'm going to hear a gunshot or something.

It's just it feels like walking around but just looking at your feet. Right. You are cutting yourself off from the city. Yeah, you know there's all kinds of other stuff going on, but you're purposely not doing it. So like I say, I still very rarely wear them. I do, though. All the time? Not all the time.

Like, I walk a lot when I'm, like, stuck on something. I call it wolfing around because I think that's what Virginia Woolf did. You know, and I'm like, I'm going to go wolf around. Right, right. And so when I'm doing that, I'll usually try not to listen to anything. Yeah. And then I have like some playlists where I'm like, I'll just put this like Yo-Yo Ma on. Right.

And like walk and like look up. It'll inspire me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's not something that will like, I'll like, a podcast is different if I'm trying to like come up with an idea. That's not the best. Yeah, yeah. But you are right. It does, it closes you off so much.

So when you, you went to college in Baltimore too? It's called Maryland Institute College of Art. Uh-huh. MICA, Bachelor of Fine Arts. Yeah. I did painting and drawing, and I minored in video. Yeah. And in high school, like, I kind of knew I wanted to perform.

I would do – in middle school, I would do coffee talk a lot. Yeah, sure. Which is like Linda Richmond. Yeah, yeah. I was always doing characters, but my parents and no one I had ever met in my life had done this. I had done comedy or writing or performing. So I was like, that's not a thing one can do. So I'll go to art school, which I know I can do and everyone in my family does.

I'm completely reinforced by this choice choice is reinforced by my surroundings. Exactly. Even though I was like, that's a hard life too, unless I'm going to be a graphic designer. Right, right. But I was like, this is just. I'll fall back on my visual arts. Yeah. Rather than going to show business.

I'll fall back on my gallery. Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Yeah. And then once I started getting into the video program at school, I realized like, I was just making videos of myself as characters. Yeah. But at art school, they were projected on a gallery wall next to like paintings and

sculptures. And they were, people were like, hmm, a character. And it's like exactly what I did at UCB. It was like such like me just like kind of riffing, but it was seen more pretentiously. Yeah, yeah. So I was like, wow, I can can do this and then move to New York. Yeah. Did it bother you that they weren't laughing sometimes when you just were trying to be funny?

Or were you not just trying to be funny? I was really exploring, like, trying to be versatile with my characters and realized later, like, that was just what I was. I was just doing UCB stuff before I got into UCB. Yeah. I was just doing UCB stuff before I got into UCB. Yeah. But I realized I really wanted to be an actor, moved to New York to go to the Atlantic Conservatory program.

Uh-huh. So it was like dramatic. Yeah, yeah. But I literally went for a week because it was – Too much. It was like so heady. Yeah. It's Mamet. Yeah.

You'd be like given like a play play yeah and it would be dissecting a line of dialogue like okay but what is she really saying i was so in my head that i was like that line of dialogue everyone would talk about it for an entire class yes anything and you'd be up on you'd be up in front of them saying it. And I was like, okay, but what is behind what you're saying? And I'm like, I froze. It was like I couldn't – it's not how my mind works. And then truly my roommate at the time who I went to college with was like, have you ever heard of this place, the Upright Citizens Brigade?

And I was like, nope. I didn't know the show. And she was like, you should go check it out. Like it reminds me of your video work. And I went by myself one night. I don't know what I saw, but I was like, I don't know what the fuck they're doing, but like I want to do that.

That is how my mind works. They were bringing stuff back and it was so present and I was like, quit Atlantic, enrolled at UCB and got a stupid job. Yeah, it's, I don't know how it was for you, but once I started doing improv, aside from learning how to do this skill and, you know, what at the time I wasn't even really conceiving, I didn't,

I'm not a person to be super goal oriented. I just am kind of like, well, this is fun. I'm going to do this for a while and remain open. That was kind of the way I've always been. But the thing that was the most powerful thing to me was that like, I found my people. Same. You know what I mean?

Yeah. It was so important. Yeah. And it's, I was the same too. I was like, I'm going to, I'm going to go here. I didn't know. I wasn't like, I'm going to have a show ever. Yeah. Yeah. It was like, I know I want to perform. Like, something will come.

This is like right here. Yeah. Get in with these people at this place. And it was immediately. Like, there were some people, I'm sure, when you took improv too, where you're like, there's some people in this class. And I'm like, I hope I don't. I hope they stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Please stop. Like, you're making me uncomfortable. Yes. I hope they stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please stop. Like, you're making me uncomfortable. Yes.

But every class I took, there was like a couple people that I still, I still like work with right now. And it was, you know, I'm still really close with a lot of people I grew up with, but it's a totally different thing where it's like, wow, you want to play in the same way that I do. It's like we could hang out forever. Yeah. For me, it was coming from a small town, getting to be about a senior in high school, and being just crazy fucking miserable and not really quite knowing what it was. And I mean,

I knew I was depressed and my home had been somewhat dysfunctional and stuff, but I did not know why I was having such a hard time feeling any connection to anybody around me. I went to University of Illinois for two years and kind of just did liberal arts and sciences and started to do some like photography and an acting class, which there again, I just was like, what does this have to do with make-believe, with make and make-bel know like formulaic yes and it also it felt like those kind of classes to me and i i didn't do that like that's what you're talking about at the at the atlantic is that's like crazy dissection of something that i really don't think

i don't know how that makes you a better actor. What I think it does, first and foremost, is gives someone who's supposed to be teaching actors to act the appearance of holding keys to a kingdom that quite possibly is a lie. It doesn't exist. I was like, I don't know. What do you want me to say? What do you want? Yeah. Like, there's a clear answer you want from me,

and I don't, I have no idea. No, I think it's just kind of like, there may be a functional thing to that kind of acting school where you do learn to, yourself gets destroyed. I think that's what, yeah. Yeah, and then you learn to do as you're told.

Because that's, you know, and I think that that's kind of one of the mechanisms. And that might be, as far as that business goes, that might be like, okay, yeah, that's a good plan. I think like great actors come out of that. Yeah. But it also just might be like, you know, different people have different ways of learning stuff. know, different people have different ways of learning stuff. I also like, I'm not, I do feel a little insecurity of like, wow, like what if I was to do a drama? Would I be able to, I couldn't do it there. You know, that kind of like, I wasn't trained in that way. Well, you probably could, and maybe you couldn't, you know what I mean? Like, I mean, I've been doing this for a long

time and there are some times when I've done things and I didn't do it that great. Yeah. And I was like, okay, you know, that was okay. You know, nobody ever fired me for anything. But then there's other things I do where it's, you know, the main thing is practice. You know, it's just practice. Yeah, and I also think a lot of people that, I think comedy is so close to drama. Oh, it's harder.

So I'm like, I would love much to come that way around. Yeah. The funniest stuff is like the realist. Yeah. So I don't know, that whole part, I'm so happy I went there and got that. Yeah, yeah. Because it was like, what?

Isn't that how I want to approach life? Yeah, and getting back to the point too, is like from when I did acting class, those weren't my people. No. And from University of Illinois, I went to Columbia College in film school and started to like coming from a small town in Illinois, meet like goth kids for the really the first time in my life. And be like, oh, my God, this goth kid is me. Just I don't have black lipstick on.

And so that was like the first step of like going into film school and meeting all these people. And also too, similar to your video projects in college, that was the beginning of my acting was because student films need actors. And, you know, you do like a round robin, like you direct this one, I'll direct the next one. And one of them is you be in this one. And then the next one, the next person will be in. And I was capable, like I would be in student films. And after there'd be screenings, two or three people would come up to me afterwards and say, I'm doing a very thankless 16 hour shoot at a forest preserve and, you know and home would floss more.

Would you come and do it? And I would do it. So I did a ton of student films. And that's where I started to learn film acting, but intuitively, just because I had to do it over and over. And then after I got out and I was working in film production, that's when I started with ImprovOlympic. And it really was, when you find your people, you are, I think, are 80% of the way

towards fulfilling your life. Truly. I mean, that 20% is a lot. You know, you got a whole lifetime to fill that up. But once you find your group and your crowd, it makes such a difference and it helps you know who you are. You can bounce off of those people and they can inform you ways that you can be better versions of yourself. And I feel bad for people that don't have a crowd, you know, I mean, that's, that don't have a tribe of some kind. And I also feel like that tribe is like, even now in the industry, like you're in my tribe. Yeah. Like, it's like people that did that before me are in the tribe.

Yeah. And then people, I don't know, that are at UCB now, I'm like, we're in the same tribe. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Whether I never even meet you. Yeah. I'm like, that's all like this understandable connection or something. We're all. Even just knowing like, oh, there's like all these people that like get me.

Yeah. We're all the same kind of weirdo that were drawn to this specific place. Yes. Like the people in close encounters made a mesa you know we're like we should go there you know just this feeling and then you start doing this stuff and then people make fun of you because you do improv yes and right rightfully so at this point, too. Yes. Can't you tell my love's a-growing? So, well, how did you – I'm sure you've told it a million times, but did you and Alana just meet there?

So we were – when you start taking classes, I don't know if this is the same for you, like form a practice group outside that you like practice with at night. And – Yeah, we would have – they would have teams. They would assign us to teams and we'd go to somebody's apartment and just – So we weren't – like we weren't – that was part of the thing. Like we couldn't get on the house team. Right. So you would form these practice groups from classes, from different people and hire hire a coach so I remember I met Alana so there was nobody choosing this no it was just oh wow oh I'm like friends with Tim from this

class let's like make a group and get better like not just classes and it's a little cheaper yeah yeah because it's like once a week and you pay like 15 bucks each and you pay the coach or whatever and so we compiled a bunch of people or like six people and I'd gone a couple weeks and then my friend Tim Martin invited Alana and her brother Elliot Glazer, who's right there written on this desk and so weird to this team. And Lennon Parham was our coach that night. Yeah. And Alana was the only other girl.

Yeah. And I truly was like, oh, my God, the girl from Arrested Development is practicing with me. Maybe. Yeah, yeah. I truly thought it was Alia Shaka, but I didn't know Alia's name. Yeah, yeah. So I was like, this is the girl. The show ended.

I'm like, that would make sense. She's in New York. She's doing improv. Whatever. Right. We go to McManus after the girl. The show ended. I'm like, she's, that would make sense. She's in New York. She's doing improv, whatever. Right. We go to McManus after the practice. That's the bar in New York. That's the bar that everyone would go to.

Yeah. And we're sitting at the bar and we just, like the two of us just clicked immediately. Oh, that's great. And she's a little younger than me, but we were just, I was like, this person is unlike anyone else I've ever met. And have you met Alana? Yeah, I have. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, she is. I don't know her very well, but I have met her. But she is. She's like vibrant in this way. Immediately. And so like outspoken about what she feels. And we were just like hitting it off. And she was like, I'm from Long Island.

I was like, oh, two of my best friends are from Long Island, from college. And she was like, I'm from Smithtown. And I was like, they're from Long Island. I was like, oh, two of my best friends are from Long Island, from college. And she was like, I'm from Smithtown. And I was like, they're from Smithtown. That's weird. I said their names. She was like, I know them. And I was like, you're not the girl from Arrested Development because I would know that thing. So then I was like, it's not her.

And then- But did you say that to her? Did you ever tell her I thought you were- I did later. I did later. And we ended up having- Like last week. Did you ever tell her I thought you were Allie? I did later. I did later. Yeah. And we ended up having Allie Ashok on the show as someone Alana hooks up with and doesn't realize until later that she's like in love with herself because they look exactly like

me. But that was like a full circle for me. Yeah, yeah. And then we performed in this improv team for two years called Secret Promise Circle. Yeah. You know, like most improv teams' names, they're terrible. Right, right. And then still while trying to get on a UCB house team or a sketch team

or auditioning for terrible commercials, we could, like, never get anything. Right. Because I think we are that type that, like, we just got to make the thing. We're not, like, the castable thing unless we show we can do the thing. And so we were like, let's just, what if like we wrote a thing about this dynamic? Because it is hilarious. I was such a straight man to her at the time. And that's what we do in the show.

And it became a little less of that. But we made a web series called Broad City. Two years, made 35 episodes and got to a point where we were like, let's try and pitch this as a show, which is insane. Yeah. And we asked Amy Poehler to be in the last episode of the web series. Yeah. And she was like such a delight. We shot with her for an hour.

That's what she is. Yeah. Like it was, we're all the same height. We were like, let's go around, literally running around the West Village with her. And we did the same thing that you were saying you did in college. We're like, UCB, all these people want to direct. And so 35 episodes, we had like 15 different directors. We had so many actors from the community come in. How did you pay for it? I'm just, the nuts and bolts are interesting to me. It was such was such a cheat like we would pay the directors a hundred bucks yeah and we would

bring bagels yeah and i would like there was like a weird hot dog shop i lived in astoria and i was like hey can can we shoot in here after you close for 50 bucks and they were like sure so it was like so like yeah we would steal we would go into the subway and steal it. We were shooting on the Canon SLR. And did you rent that? Did somebody buy it? No, most of the directors had it. It was sort of like, do you have the thing?

We need someone that has equipment. And then it was like giving them – Then you can direct. It was. It was like – truly, it was like people that did it ended up – one of them was Dan Opsal, who was Fallon's director forever. Yeah, yeah. Paul Briganti, who was SNL's director now forever. And like, all these people that ended up like doing that.

Yeah. And, which is so cool now. And so, when the guy, the director of that last one, TJ Misny, sent us back the finale, which we had spent more money on, that Amy was in. We sent it to her and we were like, this is crazy. But like, we're going to LA. We're going to try and pitch this for TV. Like, would you ever want to EP it with us? And then she was like, I would love to. And we were like, what?

Like, that was almost a bigger moment than when the show sold. Somebody bought the show, yeah. Because it was like, I would love to. And we were like, what? Like that was almost a bigger moment than when the show sold. Somebody bought the show, yeah. Because it was like Amy Poehler, like it just was such a validation. Sure. She owns the theater that we can't get on a team. And now she's going to, wants to like go and pitch it with us. Yeah, yeah. It was huge.

And that was like 2011. You know Amy Poehler has exquisite taste. Whereas the people that will buy your show, you can look on the same network and look at some of the things that they bought that don't exhibit exquisite taste. No. So like when Amy says, yes, I want to do this with you, it means you've got something, you know, fairly special, you know? Yeah, it was – that was a really huge moment. And then we went out, we came out here in 2011. Yeah.

And then we were like, just as we had planned, but now Amy was with us. And we were in all these meetings with Amy. And like, we had cut this reel together and all this stuff. And then we developed, FX bought it. Yeah. We developed there for a year. And then they developed, FX bought it. Yeah. We developed there for a year and then they passed on it. And then we brought it to Comedy Central and they got it.

Yeah. They like got it and let us run with it. Yeah. I mean, and it exploded, you know, I mean, and rightfully so. It was a really funny, unique, unique show that also too made me feel very old. Most of the time. Yeah, it really truly does there's just like yeah just because it's like well because i'm old i'm 52 years old but it also too it's like but i also feel like i don't know i imagine you could watch it and be like well it's like you and conan it's like a different version. Well, but I mean, but it's the life of young people in New York City.

Right, right, right. That like I had a similar sort of analog for that life. But it was, you know, it was 20, 30 years earlier. Yeah. And there's enough just sort of cultural markers. And especially like lots of just like sexual politics yeah attitudes are so different that i just i mean i can't even like go like i remember my days like that it's like oh no no i never had days like that were that free and that yeah you know and i mean those are heightened

i'm i i've never had a day like that either yeah but um sometimes i watch it and i'm like man i'm old yeah but you know it's very heightened yes but a lot of that heightening is sort of just we were always playing five years younger yeah than we really are kg good show business you gotta gotta start early because we i. Yeah, yeah. Because the web series was, we had been doing the web series for two years. Yeah. And so, like, when the show aired, season one aired, I was 30. Ah. And so it was like, it's really about your 20s.

Yeah, yeah. So I was, like, already starting, like, it was about what you felt like. Yeah. So if you got, like, a big check for your 20s, what that felt like. Right. We were trying to like amplify. Yeah, yeah. That kind of stuff.

Did that show, especially the success of it, I mean, I imagine it has to have changed you. And in what way do you think it did? I mean, I don't know. Maybe it didn't change you, but. I mean, I think it couldn't have not. Yeah. But it also is like, listen, the show does really well critically. Yeah.

Doesn't do well ratings-wise, which I don't – now I'm like, what does that even mean? What's going on with the whole thing? There's a lot, a lot of shows. It's all spread out so thin that it's just – it really is that – I do think at this point – I mean, what the hell do I know? But if you do get a good reputation, that's really something solid. I mean, it's not as solid as fucking criminal minds or something like that. But I don't know how to make criminal minds, nor do I really want to make criminal minds. No, I couldn't be more.

Nothing against criminal minds. It's just not my deal. It's not me neither. Yeah, yeah. But they got a thing going. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I couldn't be happier with the way the entire show went. I'm like, oh, my God, how did that happen? It's such a unique, nothing before like it, and I'm sure there will be things now after it. There are already things that are sort of like it. Yeah, but that's also sometimes I'm like, oh, and then it's like, no, that's the biggest compliment. Absolutely. So we were just trying to use our experience. You showed a lot of people a way to be funny.

And that's what everybody, you know, that's everybody learned how to be funny from somebody that influenced them. You know, that's one of the deepest compliments people can pay me about the years I've been on television is that like, especially young funny people. Yeah. You were a guide for me on how to be funny. Yeah, I think like I learned, the way I changed also was like I learned that and like how to be confident in like trusting my observations and my, like the way I feel about how,

like my experience and how I can share that. Yeah. That's funny. You're there for a reason. And it's because the choices you made. Going back from leaving Atlantic. Right. Leaving the Actors Conservatory.

Those are all choices you've made. So you know what you're doing. So, you know, going forward, there's no percentage in acting like some Pollyanna that's like, oh, gee whiz, I'll defer to all the geniuses around me. And that isn't to say to be an asshole. No, no. I like to think I didn't change into that. I guess that's for other people to say. Right, right.

Actually, I have some interviews from people. Oh, no. An expose. You're going to bring them up? No, no, no. Bring them up? I don't know. people. Oh, no. An expose. You're going to bring them up? No, no, no. Bring them up? I don't know. That's too much work.

I just assumed you were nice, and I said, sure, let's go. I imagine it has to lend you a certain amount of poise going forward, you know? Yeah. You know, the thing that I kind of struggle with most is, like, at first we weren't going to have the characters have our same names. And then it was just they have to. It just feels right. But now it is the weirdest thing to have people feel like they know me. I mean, you probably feel that too.

It's the same thing. It's a similar kind of thing. It's weird. It's weird just being out. I'm very like I like going to coffee shops by myself. I like going out to breakfast and like reading by myself. I like going to movies by myself. And it presents a little bit of an insecurity for me. I'm like, I'm being, I'm exposed. But I have, I've chosen to literally expose myself for the world. So it's a two, it's like a lot. Yeah. expose myself for the world. So it's like a lot. And I am so much like the character, but I am also very different and I didn't share everything of myself. It's weird dating, but I also feel like it has made me guarded in a way and also kind of have to forget

what I do. Like if someone comes up to me and I like that I've like programmed myself to do this, I don't automatically think they are coming up to me for the show. I usually think they're coming up to me because like we knew each other in high school or something. Like I'm often very confused because people literally come up and I'm sure they do it to you too. They're like, Andy. Yes. Hey. And I'm like, remind me your name. Like, and they're like, no, we don't, I just love the show. Yeah. The show. Yeah. You learn to deal with all of that. Cause I, when I first got on television too, I felt very, like you said, you feel very exposed. You feel like, I remember

shortly after the Conan show premiered going back to chicago at christmas time and going with my mom to best buy she needed to get a christmas present and i just walked around the store looking at stuff and i didn't notice because i also too am not like real good at noticing people staring at me thank god. But as we were leaving the store, my mom said, did you notice that there were about three or four of the employees were following you around the store? Your mom loved it? Yeah. My mom loves it. She was all excited about it. And I said to her, mom, take the context away and just that statement. Did you notice three or four people following you around the store?

And I had to explain to her, like, I know why they're following me. They know why they're following me. But there's still this animal inside of me that feels like, why are you following me around? Yeah. It's a weird thing. But it's also like, what did we expect? Yeah. You asked for it.

So it's just a. And it does, you know, like I've seen – knowing Will Ferrell for a million years, like I've seen – I've been out with Will Ferrell and felt like, oh, Will Ferrell's like not as nice as he used to be. And then you see what Will Ferrell has to go through to go have lunch. Yeah, there's so many people. And he can't be as nice as he used to be. And he's not being mean. He's not being a dick. But he's just definitely, you have to make these rules when you're Will Farrell.

I mean, I'm not Will Farrell, so I get it pretty easily. No, me neither. It's like not, it's not like every time I go out, you're like, no, but I have been with, I mean, Amy. Yeah. You know, there are people where it's like, you know, you're going to be, someone is coming up to you all the time. Yeah, yeah.

I love this story because I can't believe I was this stupid. I was in Chicago. Mm-hmm. And I was at – I was staying at a hotel. And I go down to get a coffee from the bar. And I was like, hey, can I get a coffee? And the woman was like – went and got the coffee. And she came back and she was like, I'm so sorry.

I'm like, I'm being so weird. I'm starstruck. And I said out and she was like, I'm so sorry. I'm like, I'm being so weird. I'm starstruck. And I said out, I was like, what? Who's here? I was like, oh my God, wait, what? I love it. Who is here? And she was like, no, like I love the show.

And I was like. It's you. Yeah, yeah. Thank you. What a fucking, like it's like a program thing and I like it. But I'm also like like you're a fucking idiot no but i was like who there's always i mean because i i've had people go like you look familiar to me and i say it's probably because i'm the sidekick on the conan o'brien show and

they're like no i mean that you know there's all kinds of versions of there's also the version of like i've learned the rule of if i hear somebody yell Andy, I don't turn because I've just over time on the street, people shout my name. Usually what they want to do is the confirmation that it's me and then they don't want to, you know. It's like Andy. And then I turn and they're like, yep, it's him. And then they, you know. They're like. Yep, that's him.

And I'm like, oh, okay. I just paused my day for you to. This is a weird feeling. For you to check your, do a visual IMDB check. So let's get to where you're going. I mean, what I know you've got, you're developing, and this is really exciting, League of Their Own television series. Is that what you're doing? Yeah.

And how, is that like coming to fruition? Yeah. So it's been like kind of a interest, it's been a while, but we, I think we're now at like the about to make a pilot stage. Wow. That's great. Which is really scary. How do you like get the rights to something like that?

How does little old you go and kind of make that? I didn't. I wasn't the one. So Will Graham, who, like, sure ran Mozart in the Jungle for a while. He's, like, written on a bunch of shows and did Onion News Network years ago. He is a friend of mine and came to me and asked me if I wanted to do it. And I was like, yeah. Who would say no to that?

But I also, you know, I love that movie. As a kid, I love that movie. I love it now. It holds up. Yeah, it's a great movie. In certain ways. Yeah, yeah. But I was like, I don't think I'm interested in making like a ensemble white woman show.

Straight white woman show, which is that version of that movie, what that is. And he was like me neither and you know the more research we did for the league which we did which was so cool it's with amazon and they gave us money to really research the league and like we met a player who was like 95 and walks with a cane that's a baseball bat. Oh, wow. It's like 60 or 70% of the women in the league were gay. Uh-huh. And that's like no one in the movie's gay. Yeah.

Like Rosie O'Donnell isn't even gay in the movie. Yeah, yeah. And it's like that's the 90s version. Yep. You know, of that. Yeah. Also, black women were not allowed to try out. And Cuban women were on the team and were

whitewashed. There's a lot of like very interesting things that were not discussed about the league. Right. Also, like it was just, you know, if we're still dealing with sexism and all that stuff now, I mean, like they dealt with it a little bit, but'm like they had to wear skirts it was like very like male gazey yeah yeah and that there's so much that is relevant to right now that we want to discuss on the tv version so it's almost as if i get really nervous because i'm like people are going to think that we're like going to be like you know woking it up well i mean it is a little but but i'm more nervous that people are going to be like, here we go, Tom Hanks. It's not that. It's almost like – so Penny Marshall watched – there's like a 30-minute documentary about the league.

And she watched that and she was like, I want to make a movie version. She got writers. That was her version and their version of watching this doc. And it's almost like Will and i and the other collaborators watch this doc and this is our present day version yeah so it's more of a dark comedy but it is really dealing with maybe i'm like doing this a lot more now as someone realizing their sexuality and it's a sixth place in the 40s and was like a – talk about finding your own tribe. A lot of these women, like, they went to this league, found their tribe, and then had to go home and then got married to men.

It's like this crazy little capsule that existed. And they still – like, it was – they still had to, like, sort of hide that, but not amongst each other. Right. And then we – there's a bunch of books and docs also about this. There's a bunch of African-American women who were not allowed to try out for this league and ended up playing with men in the male Negro leagues and the male barnstorming leagues, which is like – That's super crazy. Even more of a – when we learned that, it was like, that's the story. You know, I'm like, am I even allowed to tell the main thing?

But it is. We're following a white woman coming into the league. Yeah. And we're seeing that time period and what it was like to not be heterosexual. And we're following a black woman going to the league and and finding out what it was like to be that's great yeah and it's like that's what we need to be seeing i was going to say like how do you crack the problem of an exclusionary league how do you make that in inclusive and and i was i mean it's fucking hard we're not changing history we can't change history

yeah because that's i was thinking like do you want to change history into like a few black women got to play just so you can do, you know. No, it's not that. That's been like the hardest part of this is telling that story right and accurate. And I'm also like, it's a comedy. What the fuck? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What am I? There's a lot.

It's got to be funny. It's got to be funny. It's got to be funny. But also, it has to be – I hate when you watch something that is sugarcoating a thing that we are still fucking dealing with. Yeah. It's like, no, this is still so relevant now. Yeah. And, like, I'm writing from a white perspective, which is obviously my own, and I'm writing from a black perspective. And there are also black people writing for that, too. But I'm also like, man, we have to figure out how to tell that story.

Yeah. Which has not been told. Yeah. The others have. Yeah. So I'm excited and very nervous. Yeah. Well, you're also tackling something that I think is one of the hardest things, and we just talked about a second ago, which is to do something important that's a comedy.

Because if you do short shrift to either one, like if you kind of like downplay the sort of more positive sort of sociological aspects of it, it's going to seem cheap and shitty. And if you don't make it funny, it's not going to be fun. It's a fine line. People come to a comedy because they want to have fun. And if it just ends up being educational? No, I think it's like a weird, like I can't really find another show with the tone we're trying to find, which is like, there's going to be really funny moments. Yeah.

And I think that I'm kind of relying on myself being in it to be like, okay, I can figure that out. Yeah. But you're dealing with such heavy issues. Like we're dealing with bigotry and racism. Yeah. And like, that's not very funny. But within those communities they're experiencing life the same way we are so there's funny things happening to them it's not like

the 40s no one was like laughing at anything right so it's a dark comedy yeah and i and i'm used to more of a slapstick comedy so i i have to really figure out how to adjust. Yeah. All right, well, we're getting near the end here. Now's the big philosophical wrap-up. I mean, has all of this gone? I mean, you're young, but you've had, like, really wonderful success and a very particular kind of success in that much of it is on your own terms. Yeah, I think I'm pretty lucky that way.

Yeah, I mean, do you feel like you're fully able to sort of, are you the kind of person that can fully appreciate that, or is there still kind of like anxiety that you need to do more? I think I'm in a moment right now where even though I'm doing other projects, they're not like happening yet. Yeah. So, and the show just ended and I'm doing stuff. Yeah.

Like to prepare all the things, but it feels very like I'm in this in-between zone. So I'm sort of both of those things where I'm like, wow, like I, to look back five years ago or like eight years ago, I'm just like, this is incredible what's happened. And I really try to constantly remind myself how lucky and rare that journey has been. But I also am constantly like,

but how I got there was being this like workaholic so i'm like the anxiety is always looming of like well i gotta do this and this and this i'm not doing enough and this and i do also have to remind myself like the on my own terms like this industry and i'm in la a lot more now which i think makes you just be in the industry more, whether like New York, I felt very kind of outside of it in a good way. Show business is one of many industries in New York. Yeah. It's the industry. It's the industry here.

And I, so I feel like, I'm like, well, where do I, where do I fit in? What, what, like, what should I do? And it's like, wait, I got here by making something myself. Like, not myself, but like with ourselves. Right. And I'm like, I got to keep that. I want to, like, if anything, like, that should be my priority. Anything else that comes, lovely.

But I think as long as I sort of keep my head down and I'm like, I can make these things happen. Lately, I've been like, I think that should be my mentality. Yeah. And not worry about anything, like other outside things. Because that's where the anxiety kind of comes from for me. Does that sort of seeking a balance, does that also cross over like into your personal life too? I mean, do you find? Yeah.

No, that's my biggest issue. I have no balance. Yeah. Now that the show's over too, I'm like, man, I need, you know, get a life as a, you know, a Bart Simpson line or whatever, but it truly is. I've been so consumed with work and allowed that to be what I focus on for so long and have had success from it. So it feels like a thing that I should continue, but it's like, no, I need to actually live a life too. Do you think that you were doing it on purpose?

Without a doubt. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's why now I'm like, gotta, gotta get the pilot, get the other show going. Yeah, yeah. Because it's, for me, easier. Yeah.

That's the biggest thing I'm working on now is the balance. I think one of the scariest questions, and this is just old Andy speaking personally, one of the scariest questions in the world is, what do you want? Truly, I don't fucking know. I'm 52 years old, and I'm still like. But I don't know if you ever, like, I think it constantly changes. Well, I've often said too, like, work-wise, and I guess this would be personal too, it's a process. If you aim for a thing, when you get that thing, you're going to have this factory in you making all this stress and jet fuel.

And you're going to be there. You're just going to like, so you got to make it a process and just sort of like, I want to get better at, you know, whatever it is. I want, you know, if you're an artist, like I want to have some gallery shows, you know, or I want to now move away from portraiture into abstracts or just, you know, more concrete, spread my, you know, spread myself out. The thing I, when you say, what do you want? The thing that I, I don't even know how to like right now, I feel like if someone was like,

Abby, who are you? It would completely, I would stumble around work. Yeah. Yeah. I would stumble around. yeah yeah i would stumble around well i do this and i'm not like i created like it's like what yeah that's not who you are yeah so i kind of want to know more of who i am without that yeah which is like a huge broad like in the ether kind of question that i don't even know where to go no i know but that is a thing where it's like a huge, broad, like in the ether kind of question that I don't even know where to go. No, I know. But that is a thing where it's like a lot of times when people,

the first thing is like, well, what do you do? And it's like, well, that isn't who we really are, but it's like part of it. Yeah. It's a lot. Yeah. Well, like I'm 52, and my Twitter bio now is just I'm a dad. And that's kind of like, especially with everything that's been going on in my life,

that's kind of what I'm left with is that feeling like, because certainly I'm definitely, my water is all stirred up and it's all cloudy and I don't know what's going on half the time. But I do know like, yeah, I'm a dad and I will always be a dad. And before I had kids, I was a fucking dad too. I mean, I was the one that if we were going to take acid and drive to the Indiana dunes, I'd be like, I don't think we should, but if we do, I'll drive. And it's funny because my son's 18 and his friends call him dad because he's the one that's –

That's really cute. Yeah, he's the one that's like, I don't think we should do that, guys. They're like, I'll drive. That means you did a really good job. Yeah, yeah. But so I am a dad. But I also look at the shortcomings of calling myself that because I'm defining myself by my children. Through other people.

Yeah. Through someone else. And sort of like living in reaction to their existence. And so it's like as much as – Right, because they would never be like, I'm a son. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even though that will always be true. Yeah.

And I mean in one sense I feel very proud to say I'm a dad and I feel very good about it, and it's the most important work I'll ever do. But I also do feel like I'm putting a lot on them by, like, defining my existence. But it also, like, you can look at it like the fact that you are using that, that as your definition yeah says all the characteristics of being a dad yeah like why you would make that your priority yeah yeah that means you're caring and thoughtful and gentle you know like all those things are in that description yes so that's there's not a lot of ways where you can kind of like sum up. Like a shitty dad would never be like, I'm a dad. You know what I mean?

Well, actually. Maybe they would, but it wouldn't be like the one thing. Nobody would buy it. Nobody would buy it. But yeah, you do have to kind of figure out who you are separate from other things. It's really hard. I think it's like one of those Zen conundrums that you're just supposed to work on for the rest of your life and never actually figure out, you know? Yeah, but let's say you were born somewhere else.

All right. You would be someone totally different because of the surroundings. Yeah, that's true. So, like, you are right. I think you are right. Yeah. That does matter. Yeah.

Like, if you were in a natural disaster, you're forever different. Yeah, yeah. That's right. You still have the core. Of who you are. But, like, you're different. Yeah, yeah. That's right. But you still have the core. Of who you are. But like you're changed. Yeah, yeah. All right.

Well, I think we've really solved a lot of the world's problems here today. I'm going right to therapy now. Are you really? No, no, no, no. Are you really? No, I actually did have it right before this, though. Did you? FaceTime, baby.

How'd it go? Oh, you do FaceTime? Yeah, she's in New York. Yeah, I do. I do. I've been doing phone to New York for 25 years. Really? I mean, yeah.

Yeah, well, not for 25 years. I've been going to him for 25 years, but about 19 years. Wow. Yeah, by phone, mostly by phone. I don't love it that way, but it's like- You get used to it. Yeah. All right.

Well, good luck with the therapy. Thanks. It's the best. Have you been going for a while? Like four it. Yeah. All right. Well, good luck with the therapy. Thanks. It's the best. Have you been going for a while? Like four years. Yeah. All right. So go to therapy.

Yeah. This is the first episode. Abby and I say, go to therapy. Now. Don't listen to another podcast. Just go to therapy. All right, Abby, this has been a joy. What a joy.

This has been really, really great. And I'm so happy that you could do this. Yeah, thanks for having me. I'm happy to have you, and I hope that someday we can do this again on my 6,000th episode or something. I'll have you back before then. I'd love to. And I'd like to thank all of you out there for giving us a listen on the three questions with Andy Richter. Tune in every Tuesday. for giving us a listen on the three questions with Andy Richter.

Tune in every Tuesday. We're going to be talking to some wonderful people and learning a lot. And there'll be a lot of awkward sharing. That's what I specialize in. All right. Thanks, guys. See you next time. The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco and Earwolf production. It's produced by me, Kevin Bartelt, executive by adam sacks and jeff ross at team coco and chris bannon and colin

anderson at earwolf our supervising producer is aaron blair associate produced by jen samples and engineered by will beckton and if you haven't already make sure to rate and review the three questions with andy richter on apple podcast Can't you tell my loves are growing? This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.