The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Aparna Nancherla: Office Drama Stories (The Andy Richter Call-In Show)

Episode Date: July 31, 2026

Despite mysterious technical difficulties, actor and comedian Aparna Nancherla (Bojack Horseman, Corporate) visits the Andy Richter Call-In Show to talk OFFICE DRAMA STORIES. Want to call in for a future episode? Fill out our Google Form at BIT.LY/CALLANDYRICHTER or dial 855-266-2604 with whatever you want to discuss! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Conan Oprah. Guys, this is a very powerful company, Sirius XM. Literally, there are satellites circling the globe. Is there more than one? Let's just say there's more than one. And that's why you're able to hear me now, because this technology of beaming things up into space and then back down into space.

But we don't know if we are going to have a real show here today. because the phones have been all fucked up. So it's kind of hilarious. So I hope you guys can call. I know that some people have been instructed to use Zoom. So we're going to see, I don't know, you know, we're going to see what happens. Luckily, I have someone great here with me

to ride this toboggan to hell. Aparna Nanchurla's here. Hi. A very, very funny comedian, apart an enchurla. I love that the phones are down. It feels like the plot line of like the climax of like a Hallmark holiday movie. Yes. Or to me, I thought it's like snow day at school.

Yes. But we're still here. Like if it's a snow day, we should be at home. Right. But no, we're here. Because they didn't make the call soon enough and now we're all here. Well, you grew up somewhere. Did you have snow days?

Yeah, I grew up outside D.C. That's what I thought. You have Virginia? Yeah. Yeah. So we had snow days, but it's not, it's an area where we get snow, and yet every time it snows, everyone panics. Yeah.

And nobody knows what to do. I grew up in Illinois in what is essentially prairie. Yes. And it's, and it gets, you know, like we have blizzards and drifting snow that's really, really bad. And super high winds because they get like a three state head ruined, you know. Sure, sure. And so we would, and it was our local radio station. we would listen on on we wake up and we'd see like oh it's bad put on the radio and just like wait for

school closure announcements and would you get them because sometimes there absolutely in those in those areas you're so on top of your snow like how to get get it they're better at it but but at a certain point when it's really blowing yeah like the kids that live out in the farm country and there was a lot of farm kids right there's drifting and the bus can't get through so they just would cancel it. And often, too, and I still don't understand. This went into my young adult life where when I was doing improv shows in Chicago, frequently the venue would say the boiler's broken. Like, I don't know what, I just, I guess that means the heater, like the heat wouldn't work. But that was often at school. It was the boiler wouldn't work. And it's, you know, and it can be

five degrees outside. Yeah, that they're not going to have kids go to school. I think I had a stand-up joke very early on when I started about boiler rooms. Yes. And how nothing good ever happens in a boiler room. No, that's where Freddie Kruger lived. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, we're supposed to be talking office drama today. Yes, okay.

And you, well, you know what, you and I worked on the same, a corporate, a show that was very much. That was about office drama. Yes. Do you have much experience with an office? Did you ever work in an office per se? When I was starting stand-up, I had an office job for, yeah, maybe seven or eight years. And then I temped when I first moved to Los Angeles.

Yeah. So, yeah, very familiar with the office layout and politics. I never had to do like the closest I got to office work was interning for production companies. Yeah. That made television commercials. Okay. And that's still kind of, you know, you don't, you can wear shorts to work if it's warm. You know what I mean?

It's not the same sort of buttoned down sort of thing that most corporate things are. Yeah, I feel like L.A. office culture feels like the way I felt when I watched sitcoms about teenagers in California growing up where I was like, wow, they are way more laid back about everything. They have no halls in their schools. Yeah, it's open air. Everything's just outdoors. They're just wandering around. Yeah, they have surf class. And rearranged chickens, yeah, on surfboards.

Yeah. Yeah. Did you, I mean, could you thrive, do you think you could thrive in like a corporate kind of? No, I just, I can't, because I feel like a lot of corporate culture is playing the game and like just being able to kind of put on a mask and just really go wild with it. And I just can't pretend in that way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Can you, are you good at, like, submitting to a structure, you know, like. No. Yeah, I'm not either. Yeah. I have a horrible thing where I crave freedom and then when I get it, I'm paralyzed. But then when someone tries to impose authority on me, I immediately rebel. Can you be salty with people when they do that? Like, can you be kind of?

It's a very passive rebellion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like I'm going to, you're going to give me a task and I'm going to have 35 unrelated browser tabs open on my computer. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because I am like an unlikely combination of like, I always, what I wanted to be a good boy. Sure.

You know, like I'm not a rule breaker. And, you know, like to the point like where even when I was a child like shoplifting, like that costs somebody money. Right. Somebody's paying for this thing if you steal it. You know, like just. And, but I cannot stand when somebody, when an idiot. tells me what to do. I know.

And they have some sort of like leverage or like I worked at a grocery store in high school. Yeah. And like the main manager was just like did nothing, did nothing except sort of would go out and sort of straighten the bread and then go back to his office and come out and straighten the bread. And then be mean to all the like teenagers that worked there. And in fact, I remember one time. There was occasionally, and we did not use the politically correct term for these Roma. There were Roma groups of Roma people.

Gypsies is what we would call them. And they were, and I think they were largely from Albania in our area. And they would, it was like the same, I don't know how we'd hear it, but like they're back in town. They've come through again. So they would like pass through. They would pass through. They would pass through. And it's and and they would,

uh, large groups of, of these people would. And I mean, I don't, I'm, I'm sorry if this is offensive to people, but this is my experience as a child. Yeah. They, and I mean that and we, I would see them at the store, but they would come in groups of like 10. Okay. Women and children and split up into the grocery store. And they were known. for just like shoplifting, lots and lots of stuff.

Oh, okay. And they, we had had word that they were coming. And I was in high school. And this manager made all the checkout. Well, a couple of stock boys and mostly the girls that were doing checkout. Because of course, boys can't punch buttons and girls can't run a ticket or, you know, a sticker machine, a price tag machine. So it was very strictly gendered. But he made these teenagers follow, when they split up into groups, follow them.

And he said, like, don't get more than 10 feet away from them. Oh, my gosh. All around the store. And like I remember seeing my friend Kelly just look, just mortified. And these women are screaming at them, like yelling at them. Oh, wow. And this is racist and this is terrible. I worked in produce, so I got out.

I could just be back there. and produce and hide. But, um, the, and if, and the, the, this manager stood in the office peering around the corner.

My God. Like just such a chicken shit. And I, uh, and he also, by the way, was a, uh,

on the weekends was a minister. Uh, yes, he was a, he was a very sort of, as we called them, Bible thumping minister. What a strange combination.

But the, when they left, uh, I guess, they, they, didn't buy anything. And one of the women just screamed at him about how racist this was and how abusive this was.

It was just such an awful, like, tense time. Yeah. And, like, so, you know, like such a formative thing, too, and like, oh, the boss. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You do what the boss says. Like, the boss is a coward. And it also feels like when you have those jobs, whoever is the manager, like, whatever little power they have, they wield it.

so extremely. Yes, yes. And you're like, why? It's like that, what is that Stanford prison experiment? Yeah. Yeah, where they just randomly give you power and you're just like, I'm now a monster. That's right. I'm Hitler now.

I'm Hitler now. Sorry. Not my fault. Just wired this way. Oops a daisy. Oh, are we okay? Sean, what are we doing? He's talking about caller.

I think we got Noah from New York, ready? Oh, all right. Let's give it a try. Let's see if it works. We supposedly have Noah from New York. Oh. I hope it's the biblical Noah. Noah.

No, I have questions. And I want to know if Noah has a boss. Oh, my God, wait. Sean, are you holding, Sean is in the control room holding his phone up to a microphone. Okay. This is. Noah, can you hear? This is how the pioneers did it.

I can hear you. Okay. I can hear Ray, give it the volume up on this. I can hear other voices very faintly. Yeah, can you, well, Sean, can you turn up the, he's holding his headphones up to your phone.

I'm not here, Andy. You do hear me? Yeah, hi, Andy. Hi there. How are you, Noah? I'm good. This is hilarious. Rich, would you please take some photo or video of that

because that's really fantastic. We are in, like, there's probably a million dollars. at least worth of technology in this studio. And Sean is sitting in the control room, holding up his iPhone to a microphone, and then holding the headphones up to the phone so that Noah can hear us.

Well, Noah, this is some office drama. This is my office, and this is some drama right here. How are you? You got me and a parna. We'll try and function at this point. Hi. Hi. Hi.

No, I went to the doctors today because I've had this cough for six weeks, six weeks straight. This is a lingering dry cough. Nothing else because it's probably just allergies. But I don't have coughing. I can hear you. Hold on one second. Noah. Aparna can't hear him.

I can vaguely hear someone talking. Maybe your headphones. Can we turn up your headphones a little bit, Apana? Hey, Noah, can you say something? Yeah. Noah? Yeah. Oh, there.

Now she can hear you. Great, great. All right, yeah, yeah. So anyway, you guys, he went to the doctor today because he's got a cough that has been lingering for six weeks. Oh, no. Okay. Okay. It's probably consumption.

Oh, yeah. So what did the doctor say? I said it was probably just allergies, but I don't know. I think it might be like I'm thinking that I might have cancer or something. I don't know. I don't go there. Don't go there. Yeah.

Don't go there. A cough is not cancer. Slibery slope. Yeah. It's a cough, you know. Yeah, yeah. Can I ask a question? Noah, can I ask you a question?

Do you get high? Mm, good question. Do you get high? Do I get high? Yeah. I did. I've been queen for eight months. Okay, good.

Oh, okay, good. Because I, oh, well, then there. Okay. No, I was just asking. I was being under the influence right now. No, no, no. I was just going to say I have often had friends who have said, like, I have this cough.

I can't get rid of and I think, well, maybe you should have smoked dope all the time. You know, and you don't smoke anything else. You don't smoke cigarettes. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah. No. I didn't, I didn't mean anything beyond the fact that, you know. And that's also me in a former life, I would be like, man, I can't shake this cold as I smoked cigarettes, you know.

So. When did you quit smoking? I quit smoking 2001. So I quit smoking a long time. The 25th anniversary of you quitting smoking. Oh, yeah. Wow. And it was honestly in September because I remember it was September 17th.

Whoa. Because it happened to fall on. I was born on October 26, 2001. And my dad quit smoking at the same time too because he made a vow. Yeah. And I was born and quit smoking and he did it. Well, this was a Monday. I was going back to work and I decided I'm going to quit smoking.

and I just happened to fall on my brother's birthday so I remember the date. So you just went cold turkey. I used the patch. Okay, the patch. I did use the, no, maybe I used the gum. Maybe I used a combination of both of them. Sure.

Yeah. My friend Matt Walsh. My friend Matt Walsh never. You got the sitcom deal or were you still at the NBC? No, I was actually, and it was very linked into why I quit smoking was, I was doing Andy Richter controls the universe. And while I was a smoker, I often, I would lose my voice once or twice a cold and flu season. And when I was, you know, working for Conan, the stakes were so low.

I was like, you know, I'm just, I got to talk on TV, but why should I give a shit about that? I'm going to continue smoking my brains out. But when it came to a show that had my name in the title, then I was like, I should, probably be able to talk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So that's what I, that was part of it. And also, too, I did have a new child. But the new child. But that wasn't the important part. Well, I did quit. The new child? Was that its name? Yes, yes.

For a couple of years. You got to really, you got to let him grow on. Yeah. Yeah. But, no, I quit definitely when my son, Will, was born and then backslid at, you know, like when he was six months old and started. I wasn't smoking as much as I had, but I was smoking. And so I had to kind of like put my foot down with myself.

And also I'd gotten to the point where I hated it, you know. Oh, just like the smell and stuff. I never touched nicotine and like that. Just, I just, I got hooked on like very strong edibles and quinapentin. I'd combine those. Oh, boy. Like I got super depressed. and I want to escape reality as much as possible.

Like, this can't be real. I need to just, it's just a vicious cycle. Yeah. It's hard. I don't want to be reliant on anything anymore. I think, well, I mean, it's not so bad to, you know, because I've been on antidepressants for a million years, so I don't have any qualms about being reliant on them.

Yeah. Because the increase in the quality of my life. And I'm reliant. And I'm, you know, I'm going to be 60 in October. I'm relying on different drugs to keep my blood pressure down and stuff like that. You know, you're imperfect. You're human. You know, so it's like, you know, I don't even fucking mooses eat rotten apples to get drunk.

You know what I mean? Like animals get high. So it's not like, you know, like it's a natural state to be completely sober. We all, every, you know, sentient creature looks for, you know, I mean, dolphins toss around puffer fish. Oh, that's right. Because it gets them high. They harass. They harass.

They harassed puffer fish because they release just enough toxin to give like a blist out state. And then the dolphins just kind of lay their stone for a while. Wow. So. That's so funny to think of a dolphin being like, hey, you want to toss people? Yeah, oh, check it out. Here comes the puffer fish. And the poor puffer fish.

I know. But anyway, I used to use weed to. I used to use weed to. What I'm more meant was just, I, there's so many easy ways to avoid, like, emotional pain now. Yeah. You know, scroll through your phone or just, I, we or gas station drugs or DXM or whatever the hell is around. but and it's like over and over again, I found like, not to be too deep at this point,

but the avoidance of pain leads to more pain. Yeah. It really just does. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's, it's, we can be, especially now, weed is very, very strong.

I don't smoke weed anymore because it just was, it was fucking with my moods. I always felt, I felt like I'm taking farmers. pharmaceutical medication to stabilize my mood and now I'm greasing the floor with like ridiculously strong sativa. Like what am I doing? So I ended up having to stop. But years ago before I started antidepressants, I definitely used weed to medicate for depression, you know.

But the problem was it went from, I don't feel good. I'll get high. Hey, now I feel better. And that's what I always kind of loved about weed. it was like a toggle switch of contentment. But then after a while, you get to the point where it's like, it's not, I'll get high, then I'll feel better. It's like, I feel shitty when I'm not high. Right.

And that's not sustainable. Yeah, that's not sustainable. No, it's just being alone and getting high. That's not getting high. No. Well, you know. Well, I mean, you know. Yeah, you know, I know.

I know, I mean, but I mean, it's whether or not you can be, like I want to talk to a sober friend about my weed usage. Yeah. And I said, like, I said, yeah, I said, I'm not like, I don't feel like I'm completely dependent upon. And I said, but I definitely, there's times when I, you know, I kind of feel like I'm kind of feel down. And then I get high and I feel better. And it does kind of make me feel more sociable. And I can actually sometimes even interact with my family a little better. And he said like, sounds like you're using it for what it's supposed to be used for.

I was like, well, okay, all right. Yeah, that's why people drink, right? Yeah. Like, more comfortable in social situations, a lot of the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then you can, you know, it sounds like you broke your party mode. I feel like I needed it to correct things about myself. Yeah, yeah.

Well, are you in therapy? I am. Okay. Well, that's good. That's good. That's good. Stick to that. Not to interrupt.

Noah, do you want to tell them your meth story? Oh, right. Listen, we're just... Sean, we're just killing time, Sean. Go ahead. Go ahead, Noah. All right. Well, I mean, it was during the time where I just, I had to be high all the time. Basically, what I'd do is I'd take a bunch of edibles and I'd liquefy them and put them into Gatorades of the same color. And it was a good solution because, you know, you'd just be drinking Gatorade.

Nobody would think anything out of it. Right. So during this time, I'd gotten, right after I'd gotten laid off and then I got depressed again, didn't want to look for another job, and I was just blowing through savings. And so I bought, like, this pregame past tour for Mets game. And they, like, take you around the stadium and stuff. They show you the memorabilia. They show you the offices.

They show you different. They don't go inside the clubhouse. I thought they would. That's fine. Anyways, though, then we get to the press room. And there's all these chairs. And then, you know, where the manager sits and then answers questions. And they say, or the, whatever, the leader person says,

hey, we got to get out of here, though. They're starting. 20 minutes, so we got to go. And so I, you know, have this idea now. I have a drawstring bag and I left it behind in the room. I wait like 10 minutes. Remember the doors I went through that we went through. And then I say to the person, oh, I forgot the drawstring back. I just go back and get it. And I was like, yeah, sure. And I said I'd catch up with them. So I went to get it. And nobody, and I was in the room. nobody was there yet, but, like, two minutes later, uh, people start showing, I was the first one there.

I, you know, I just, you know, it just looked really busy. Yeah. And then I think that helped. That's what's really busy is on my phone. And everybody else was just using, like, voice memos. Um, so I was like, okay, I'll ask, uh, Carlos Mendoza questions, the manager of that. Uh, and I had a question because my fantasy team,

somebody on my fantasy team was injured and I wanted to check on their rehab progress was Jose Siri and so I wanted to know I could get it straight from a horse's mouth so they get to me and before they get to me people ask the stupidest questions the reporters they ask them what do you think about the loss yesterday it's like it's a mess you know right it was disappointed it's a loss I don't know. Yeah, yeah. But anyways, I say, I say,

Hey, how's Jose series rehab progress going in AAA? How's he doing? And he said, oh, it's going well. We expect to have it back a couple of days. And that was great. And I still have the recording of it. And they just wished us out of the room. I didn't find where the tour guide was.

but I explored other areas of the offices. I went to the place where the stat nerds hang out. And then eventually they figured out, I was just looking at people's computers and stuff. Like, wait, were you on the keyboards? Are you on the keyboard? Like, were you logging in? No, no, no, no, I was just, no, no, no, I wasn't hacking into it.

No, no, no, no, I was just going into the offices and looking around. Oh, wow. Because they left, I don't know, they leave all the, The door is unlocked, and I didn't have much inhibition. So I was just like, fuck it, I'll explore. Wow. And then somebody finally saw you and it was like, hey, what are you doing here? And you're like, bye.

I'm pretty innocent looking. And I was just like, oh, I don't know. Oh, man, I was on this tour. And I just got, you know, crazy. And they were like, yeah, you can go out that way. I was like, okay. Yeah. Wow.

Wow. Oh, you could, if you would really, you know, you could have locked yourself in a bathroom. and then you could have just stayed there. You could have been the ghost of, you know, of City Field. The Phantom of City Field. Yeah, yeah. All right, Noah.

That sounds like a bum deal, though. Because part of Juan Soto's contract, by the way, people don't tell you this. It was a 12-year, $800 million contract. But he got screwed there because for 15 years, he has to attend every single Mets game. That sucks. Yeah. Yeah. That's not ideal.

Wow. What if he had a six-week cough? I know. That would make it even worse. Yeah, yeah. All right. Well, Noah, thank you for the call. Hey, I'm on the phone.

Can you give me a sec? Well, you don't need a sec. Yeah. Because we're hanging up. I'm done or? Yeah, yeah, we're done. But thank you so much, Noah. Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah, no, I appreciate it. Thanks. Good to talk to you. And, you know, happy. your times ahead. Yeah. All right. All right.

Thank you, Noah. All right. He was talking to someone else, right, when he said he was on the phone? I hope so. Okay. I don't know. He wasn't talking to us. You got to tell me what's going to happen if we're going to...

This is so... I think we're going to do it again. Oh, we're going to do it again. And it's about a couple minutes, yeah. Oh, all right. Well, we'll keep talking. McGivering this calling show. Yeah, yeah.

Wow. Oh. Were you at, do you ever, are you a big partier at all? No, I feel like I never was and now like really abstain. Yeah, almost. Completely. I just, I'll accompany friends to parties, but I really, like, I don't even feel like I get invited as much, but I don't, I don't even take that personally because I've made

it very clear. I don't want to go. And does it, now do you, because I, I, I, I, I have, I'm very much, like, I have to be forced out of the house. Yes, me too. And I'm, I don't fight it too much. I probably used to fight it more. But I mean, it's just my, you know, the other, like just a few days ago,

we went to like a thing that was actually kind of a drive. Friends of my wife had a backyard thing. And it was, we were going to drop my daughter off nearby. So it was like, okay, we're going to go with this thing. I didn't want to do it. Okay. But I just go, okay, you know, and then I just kind of quietly grumble. And I ended up having just a perfectly fine time.

But do you sometimes feel like, oh, I should push myself out of this sort of commodgingly? I think so because sometimes I'll go and I will be like, oh, I'm glad I went. It was actually, yeah, like a nice time. I'm glad I got to see people. These are people I probably, who knows when I would see them if I didn't go to this thing. So I, it's such a fine line because then other times you go and you're like, that was absolutely the wrong choice. Yeah, yeah. But I was sort of learned to make peace with the fact that it is a, it is part of life that sometimes you go to a thing and it's not that great.

And that's okay. You didn't, it's not like you made the wrong call. It's just that not every outing is going to be fun. And everything at home is repeatable. Yes. You know, it's either on streaming or it's. a book that's just sitting there. Yeah, it's all like you miss crucial.

Still in the fridge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all there. Yeah, it's all there waiting for you to pick up where you left it. Would you say you've ever had an experience at a party where you're like, thank God, I came to this. This would never, this will never happen again. Gosh.

I'm trying to think if I have anything like that. Now, I used, I mean, it would probably have been years and years. Yeah. Like I used to go to, you know, when I was doing improv in Chicago. And it was all, we were all just like early 20s. And it was just all improvisers having fun and, you know, taking mushrooms and, you know, getting too drunk. And those were really, really, really fun. Yes.

Those were like magical, magical nights with some of the funniest people in the world. who continue to do this for a living. And then I used to in the early days of Conan go to S&L parties. Yeah. Because I could just get into them. We would watch the show at home. And then I would have a PA or somebody would say like, here's where the party is. Yeah.

And all the cops that did security did security on our thing. So they were all pals. So you just show up and go like, hi, everybody. And come on in. And those could be, those are something. times were duds, but they often were almost like sociological experiments where you get to just kind of watch all the weird people bump up against each other. And even like when S&L, because early on when we started in 93, like it was it was like a rough season. And those parties were like going to

someone else's funeral. Oh my God. You know, where there's like where people were just like I went in. And Chris Elliott was on the show that year. Yeah. And I went in and I love him and we're friends. I haven't talked to him in ages, but we're pretty good friends. We did the movie Cabin Boy together. Yeah, yeah. And I was very excited to have him in town.

Yes. And, you know, in the same building. And my ex-wife and I went into the party and I walked over and he was, it was kind of early and he was sitting at a table and he was eating. And I said, like, I said, hey, Chris, I said, we saw the show. It's pretty funny. And he looked up. I mean, he went with his mouth full. He went, I fucking hate myself.

Oh, my God. All right. Well, you know what? I'll talk to you later. Well, I'll let you be. And he was like, yeah, okay. And there was that kind of air. Whoa.

I think Janine Garofalo was there at Sarah Silverman. Like, they were on those shows. And it was all just like, we are not having a good time kind of feeling. Wow. Yeah. It was very. But that in and of itself. Yeah.

Because I was so new to television, just that I was like at someone else's nightmare. Right. You just assumed everyone was having a great time. Because things weren't great on our show at that point either. So to see like someone else's misery was like, oh, this is fun. Oh, yeah. No, that there's nothing more comforting than being like, oh, you're also having a horrible. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, good. Yeah, it's awful. Your dreams come true and it's still shitty. Isn't it amazing? All right, are we back with somebody on the phone? We got Alex. Alex, you're on speakerphone and headphone. All the phones.

How are you? Pretty well. I'm a huge fan of yours. Oh, great. And thank you. We got a parney here, too. Don't forget about her. Awesome, awesome.

So you're ready to hear my nightmare story? Yes, yes, please. Go ahead, bud. Wait, wait. You're cutting out a little bit. All right. Yes. So, they're fucking.

Right out of high school. Wait, you go ahead. Yeah, just go ahead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we can hear you. Except you're feeding back with the headphone next to the phone there, Sean. This is so hilarious to me. No worries.

So right out of high school, I worked at a computer store that was kind of like a mom and pop shop. And they were right at the dot-com boom. So they were selling a lot of stuff online. And I didn't know this, but they realized that they could sell a lot of stuff that's used as new and they would shrink-wap it and they would sell it as new products online and they'd make so much more money because they bought it as used and sold it. What kind of products are we talking about? Like back in the day out of high school I'm talking about like a compact used to make

these little tablets with like a stylus. So it's all like computer hardware stuff. Oh. Yeah. The little handheld and the little, you know, the little kitchy things you keep in like holsters on your belt. And folks would get it, you know, I would be told, look, these products are used, but we want to make them look as nice as possible for the customer. So, okay, great. So we had shrink wrap machines.

We put the boxes and the manuals together and, you know, we were shipped out the customers. And then they would call the tech support line and they would say, hey, you know, I think this product is used. and I would be like, well, what makes you think so? Well, you know, if you have one of the same products in a box next to you, can you pull out the manual? Because I want to show you something, the customer would say. And it would say, turn to page four. Okay.

I turned to page four. They're like, listen, do you have a fucking phone number written in pen on page four? Oh, no. You know, I'm a call me baby. Do you have that in every manual or is just mine? Call me. I told me, baby. And I was like to, you know, I'm on page four.

I don't see that, Anne. I don't know what you're talking about. And, you know, it started happening more and more. And you're not going to believe this. Folks figured out because they were getting so frustrated that, you know, the online stuff was so new when the return policies, all the stuff was being figured out. Folks would come to the, they figured out, you know how creative people are.

They figured out where the building was low. where we were putting this stuff together and they would come and knock on the door and they would be screaming and then he'd be like I want to return this junk you know I bought it for 800 bucks and it's used for 200

bucks and you guys rip me off and man once I discovered what was going on I went and spoke to my manager about it and he straight out admitted it he's like yeah yeah we found a great way to

make money. We sell a bunch of stuff that you use is new. And it was like totally normal for him. Oh my God. He's like yeah. Yeah, this is what we do, man. And he's like, what? Does it insult your integrity? And I was like, wow. Well, yeah. Yeah. It would insult anyone.

Yeah. It would. You know, and I just, I felt so bad for these folks that were getting these used things. You know, you take it out of a shrink wrap and it's got the manuals and everything. I mean, knowing that someone who used it and you thought you were buying a new product, you know, and man, man, this is like a story that stuck with me throughout my career. I think it probably helped me, like, build my character and know, like, what I don't want to do to customers.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, and what, how did it end up? I mean, did this, did you just leave and go work somewhere else? Or did these people ever get busted for this? Did you call Geraldo Rivera? I'm sure you don't want to, you know, for the sake of your podcast, I'm sure you don't want to get into like specifics of names and whatever.

But the bottom is that I left there. I left there and then I read about them in the newspaper a few months later that the place was raided. The two managers were arrested. A bunch of people sued them and got their money back. and it was like out of a movie. It's like, man, I probably could, you know, maybe I'm talking to the right people. I probably could turn it into a movie.

I think I can make two hours out of it. Were one of the guys that got arrested? Was that the one that said, does that insult your integrity? Oh, yeah. Was that one of the guys? One of the managers said that to me, but they both got arrested,

and I would just count my blessings that I have, that I do have integrity. And once I figured out what, they were doing, I was like, I'm out of here. And I just left and started working, you know, right out of high school then. So I started working for another computer store. And, man, it was like day and night. You know, these guys had stuff on shelves that were brand new with price tags, never

opened. You know, I was telling them these stories, and they're like, no, this is not, this is not how it's supposed to go. No, no. So I wanted to put that out there. Yeah. And have your listeners know about this. That's why I thought I would call in because I feel like you got to be so careful.

Especially today, there's so much saturation of all this stuff everywhere. Make sure you got a new product. And man, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so thoroughstruck, but I can't believe I'm talking to you. Oh, Scott. Late night with Conan, every night. Oh, thank you.

Watch you. I never listen. I never considered you a. sidekick. You and Conan are like, are like the peanut butter and jelly. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you. Yeah, I go back and I watch the

old episodes and I just think the chemistry you guys had and, you know, like the fake, the desk driving. Yeah. And when you guys would be fake fighting and just all the stuff you guys did, all the remotes, all the different things you did,

I just, I wish you know, you were just talking drama today. I wish there was no drama back then like it turned into because it was an institution. It was insane. I waited every night. Well, thank you so much, Alex.

Thank you very much. And thank you for calling on this very weird day and talking to us on speakerphone. No problem. I'm a tech guy. I roll with the punches. All right. No problem. All right. Thanks, Alex. Talk to you later. All right. There should be, he was saying that they would come knock on their door.

I was like, I'm surprised that hasn't been a horror movie about someone tracking down a customer service representative. And reaching havoc on their lives. Because I was like, I would be terrified. Someone that was angry with like my ability to not help them came and found me. There was an old, and it happened because I, you know, I left Conan. I was there from 93 to 2000. And afterwards, there's a really hilarious Conan writer named Andy Blitz. I've seen this.

And where he gets on a plane and goes to India right. And goes to India to talk. Oh, my God. And they did that completely unpermitted. And Conan was banned from shooting in India for years. Yes. Oh, my God. Yes.

Wow. And I think he ended up doing like a big fancy American Express commercial in India. And they had to like jump through hoops to get it like him okayed to be. back in India. Yeah, that's a funny bit. That is so funny. It reminded me too because like one of my worst job, and I was, it was, it was when I, I worked in film production and then I decided I was going to start becoming a performer.

And I started, and I committed myself to doing shows. Yeah. Which I wasn't making, I mean, I was making maybe 20 bucks at. So I had quit what little money I was making in film production. And I was looking at. for just some kind of job that would give me the freedom to go and do auditions and things like that. And one of the jobs interviews I went on was a telemarketing job. And it was this office that was full of, it was all young people.

And there was like in some places not even chairs. There was just, you know, like the, it's kind of like plastic wire conduit that has stick them on the back that you stick against the wall. Yeah. There were phones set up, like phone checks, all in like stick them, sticking on the wall and then, you know, like cheap shit phones plugged into every like five feet around this office space. Some of these young people sitting on the floor. And I ended up having an interview with this manager who like just was such like a classic like, like he just looked like such a slob. Yeah. But like really, because he was in charge.

You know, like, you know, leaning back in his chair. And they were selling coupon books. And he basically, like coupon books that like, you know, you spend 75 bucks on this coupon books, coupon book, but it represents $400 in savings. Sure, sure. You know, and he basically told me our main customers are old people. You should frighten them, make them feel that they were missing out on something. He said, you want to build them up, like build up their hope.

like we build up like you'll get $400 out of this. And if you don't think of all the money that you'll be losing and you know you don't have that much money. So you get, he's like, build them up, tear them down, build them up, tear them down. And then,

you know, sell. And I just. The job was just psychological warfare on the elderly. It was just on old people. And basically sort of saying like, yeah, yeah. And I mean,

nobody ever uses these to their full potential. The coupons. Like, so it's just, I was just like, oh my God. I don't think I can be it an adult. I don't think I'm going to function.

I can do this. You immediately, like the same thing with Alex, where he like immediately gets out in the real world and everyone's like, you have integrity? Yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. Yeah. Well, I think that's enough for today, Aparna.

Yeah, well. Let me plug you here. It sounds inelegant, but you'll see. Yeah. It's useful. You can see her most recently in the Pixar. film Hoppers. Well, you can hear me.

You can hear you. I would be horrible. But I mean, you can see. Yeah, yeah. She's the friend to all the creatures. And you can watch her stand-up special, Aparnan Antrilla, hopeful potato on the drop-out streaming service, the wonderful drop-out streaming service.

And do you have dates or anything you want to, you want to plug? I'm not on the road right now, but yeah, I will be at some point. So stay tuned. Stay tuned. Keep your ear to the railroad tracks and you can hear a Parnet coming. Well, thank you all for listening to this very strange episode of the Andy Richter Collin show. You know, Sirius XM has really got to get their shit together.

This is crazy. It's crazy to me. I mean, I'm just kind of kidding. Well, we should have known when all the equipment came with the user manuals that said, call me, baby. Call me, baby. everything was shrink wrap today and we showed it. All right, bye, everybody.

See you next week and hopefully we'll have phones. I love you all.