The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Asif Ali

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

"Deli Boys" star and comedian Asif Ali (also seen in “WandaVision,” “Agatha All Along,” and on Comedy Central) joins Andy Richter to discuss his father’s colorful career in the exotic bird trade, his early comedy group with Hasan Minhaj, Fahim Anwar, and Aristotle Athari, and much more.Do you want to talk to Andy live on SiriusXM’s Conan O’Brien Radio? Leave a voicemail at 855-266-2604 or fill out our Google Form at BIT.LY/CALLANDYRICHTER. We want to hear your NEW PARENT STORIES! Listen to "The Andy Richter Call-In Show" every Wednesday at 1pm Pacific on SiriusXM's Conan O'Brien Channel.

Hi everybody, welcome back to The Three Questions. I'm your host Andy Richter, and today I am talking to actor and comedian Asif Ali. He was a founding member of the sketch comedy troupe Goat Face with Hassan Minhaj, Faheem Anwar, and Aristotle Atari. You've seen him in The Mandalorian, Wandavision, Modern Family, and much more, and he currently stars in the very funny Hulu series, Deli Boys. Remember, you can hear The Andy Richter Call-In Show every Wednesday, live at 1pm on Conan more and he currently stars in the very funny Hulu series, Deli Boys. Remember you can hear the Andy Richter Call-In Show every Wednesday live at 1 p.m. on Conan

O'Brien Radio. If you want to join the conversation, you can find the number and the submission form in the description of this episode. If you have a funny new parent story, that's our next episode and it could be something that happened to you, something that you saw a new parent do, maybe something that happened to you from your parents. We want to hear it. Now here's my conversation with Asif Ali. This headphones is good because then it makes you think that you're a lot smarter than you are. Exactly.

And sound better. Yeah. I feel like how good the sound is, is why a lot of comedians that I know have gone full alt-right. Because everything that every dumb idea you've ever had sounds smart. So because this sound used to be only for like Philosophers and scientists or radio DJs don't get to But they had special voices that is true could you imagine for others like Could you imagine if Rogan was like, hey guys, it's butt fuck in the morning.

You'd be like, okay, at least I know what that is. Yes, exactly. But when they all go like, you know, the earth is flat. Well, you know, I think too, and I mean, and Sean, my producer Sean gave me these statistics because I, but- Is there a way we can push on further in the corner? I don't think he's far enough in the corner.

If you want him to sit on the floor in the corner, with his facing the corner, no, he's very shy. He's very shy. And with good reason. No, he told me that lately there's been, like, the amount of political content on bro-y stand-up podcasts, just through the roof, because that is like one area, like, it's amazing how, and you know, Republicans, they know how to do tax cuts,

and they know how to like get people scared about stuff or angry about stuff, but they also know how to like, sway people. And there was a program of like them getting out the same sort of talking points to all these bro- which I'm like where is this power structure? Like who is doing this? Is there like some you know evil fortress that's like letting people know that vaccines are bad or something? It's- or just you know that Kamala can't handle military situations or whatever. I think a lot of it is also like, you know, comedy in general tends to be, you know, contradictory and, you know, just sometimes just like, hey, I'm going to argue this point of it just for

comedy's sake. Contrarian. Yeah, just to be a contrarian for contrarian's sake. But then when it takes a turn to be like, no, I really think this might be true. And there isn't like a third, like a tertiary person, which is crazy because every podcast usually has a producer with a computer that can easily Google things and find out if things are true or not. And the fact that that is never utilized is beyond me. I know, I know.

They're just like, yeah, I'm just going to say this for the sake of saying it. And then also they have the great, as comedians, we have a great sort of back pull of like, yeah, but I'm just a comedian. Yeah, I'm just a dumb dumb saying shit, you know? And it's also like you have to fill, a lot of these podcasts are like two hours long. See that's one of the things. If you had to talk for two hours, I'm gonna say something dumb.

I'll ruin my career here today, but it's too much time. No, I had to, just doing a talk show for years on end, for just an hour a day, there were times where I said dumb shit. Like only a couple times where I said dumb shit. Yeah. You know, like only a couple times where I said something like really dumb, like just, you know, made like some serial killer joke and then realized like, oh wait, I'm in front of the real people, not the like, not the dark hearted monsters.

Yeah, the time you said Charlie Manson was right and looked directly into the camera. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. But yeah, it is, it's... This is the world we live in. You have to, yeah, you have to be careful. And also two hours is just too long. It's too long to listen to anybody. If you won't listen, like on your guys' show, it was, a regular interview is what, five minutes long?

Which is actually too short. It's too short, but the answer can't be an hour and a half of just unregulated rambling with nobody coming in and being like, that's actually not true. Yeah, yeah. And also, it benefits you to say inflammatory shit. Totally, totally. Also, it benefits you to say inflammatory shit. You know? Totally, totally.

It's like being a troll. By the way, what kind of clickbait are we gonna do for this episode? Because I really need to run the numbers up first to get people to watch the show. I have a new school. It's an auto-filatio school. And there's free videos.

It's next to that Pilates place down the street. Yeah, it is, it is. It's, yeah. They're actually part of the same thing, but they do not want people to know that. The instructor just puts on like a ratty t-shirt. Exactly, exactly. And a mustache. Glue on mustache. They both still say namaste though. Which is nice. I appreciate that.

Yes, it is. It is. Well now, Os, if you... I already teased you about your deli boys jacket. Yes, this is from the camera department. So this is our little sort of like nod to those guys while we do some- No, it's great. And it also has the awesome tiger on the back. That tiger fucking rocks. Yeah, yeah. How cool is that? People think I'm dangerous. They're wrong.

Yeah, yeah. But for a second there People think I'm dangerous. They're wrong. Yeah, yeah. But for a second there... That kid, he's got claws. That man's been on safari, I think. My God. Do you have any tattoos? Would you get that as a tattoo? I have no tattoo.

Do you have tattoos? No. Who are we? I do not trust myself. Same. I cannot commit to anything. And my test was always, what would I feel good about being turned over in a nursing home?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don trust myself. Same. I cannot commit to anything. My test was always, what would I feel good about being turned over in a nursing home bed with? What design could I be so confident in that when it's dangling like an old purse and they turn me over and it's like, oh, there's that motorhead tattoo that I got when I was 18.

It's almost like a, you would have to get something that would look good, like maybe a waterfall. I don't even, I can't, I don't know, I don't know. Did your parents have tattoos? No, nobody had. I feel like that's a direct lineage. If your parents don't have tattoos, the likelihood of you getting them is either you're gonna go way too hard,

or you're not gonna get any. Well, there definitely was like, there was like sort of a Lollapalooza-ish turning point where tattoos just became the norm. Totally normal. Yeah, and I just, and there is like, when we see people, you know, like in the boardroom with neck tattoos, that's when we know. Because there is that level of, if you get the neck tattoo or the face tattoo,

that is saying, okay, I'm never gonna get a job where I have to actually have a resume. Sure. Like, that's never gonna happen. Yeah. But who knows, it might. Although I still have it, I've still yet to see like a Doctor or like a dentist or a banker like yeah, I'm gonna change action

I still haven't seen a tattoo anything that's in the neck or face. Yeah. Yeah, you know It's probably they got crazy shit baristas are going crazy. Yes or chefs chefs are going Yeah,. Yes. Or chefs. Chefs are going nuts. When did chefs have to get all these tattoos? Right. I don't know. No, that's the other thing. Like, we get it. You're a chef.

You don't need six knives on your arm. Yeah, what is this? I just, chefs. Just, you're making fondue. I know. I know. Relax. Listen, I mean, you know, I like eating, but take it easy, chefs.

If you take anything away from this episode, just take it easy, chefs. If you take anything away from this episode, just take it easy, chefs. You know what, now that you're saying that, you think maybe part of chefs getting tattoos is sort of like a response to the old school idea of like maybe cooking as like a more feminine type of thing. And so they felt like they had to edge it up. No, because they're, well, that's maybe at the root of like a forever kind of

You know rebellious fuck you attitude of kitchen staff. Yeah, cuz that's been there forever Sure, you have this sort of they they act like they're the pirates of everyday life Anytime I'm at a restaurant and in and I'm seated in a place where I know that reception doesn't like me, which is usually like facing towards like where you can kind of see the cowboy doors open in and out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or the bathroom. You guys don't respect me dining alone.

This is crazy. It's almost like you're trying to keep me out of sight, out of mind. Yeah, yeah. And sometimes I'll be able to see in there and I'm like, oh, these guys are having fun. That job doesn't seem healthy, but they're having fun. Have you ever worked in a restaurant? I've never worked in a restaurant. I worked at Lenscrafters.

Oh. Yeah. There's probably crazy backyard shenanigans in there too. One hour turnaround where they were doing stuff back there. The guys put their goggles on. It was a whole, and then they're sort of beef with the front of house people who are getting all the commish. But I could never really.

And they're the pretty ones, the ones that they're the hideous technicians in the back. And I was sort of in the middle ground at that time. I had like this beautiful long hair. I worked in Chicago. I went to college in Chicago and I had this beautiful long hair. But I was like a hundred and like 10 pounds. So I sort of was like this waify boy. Like a broom.

But just a broom. Just like a broom. Just an upside down broom just going around. And I went in and they really pitched me hard on the commissions. And they're like Oh cuz we worked in this fancy mall come Northbrook Court sure and so business guys. I'm from Illinois, too So okay, okay, you get the deal So people would come and be like hey we need to cash out on our whatever stipend we have from our company for whatever

And so they would come and these girls these pretty girls would like make these guys feel so good I would feel good just secondhand smoke kind of style. I would just be around and they would say such nice things to these guys that did not need to hear that at all. These guys were working at banks just foreclosing people. Then they would just be like, you know, you work so hard and I feel like nobody tells you that. And they'd be like, they'd take their Bluetooth out and they'd be like, you know, you work so hard. And I feel like nobody tells you that. And they'd be like, they'd take their Bluetooth out

and they'd be like, you're right. Yeah. You're right. I will take three pairs. Of Cartier's, which are like $3,000 each. And they would just goose these people. And then they would make these insane commissions. And then I would be like, I have to help this 12-year-old

put his contacts in. And he'd be like, you're not good at your job. And I'm like, I know. I know. It's not my fault. They put me in over my head. Where in Chicago were you? I grew up in a town called Yorkville, which is straight west of downtown, kind of around Aurora.

Sort of the bigger city. But then I did end up, I went to Columbia, where'd you go to college? I went to Columbia College. Yeah, yeah. Columbia, yeah. And, cause I started at U of I, downstate. Oh yes, yeah.

And then I went there. At Champaign? Yeah, Champaign, and I went two years there, and then decided I wanted to go to film school, and they didn't really have anything yet. I bet you they do now, because film school now is such a big thing. That's like a great get.

They're like, oh, you haven't figured out where your major's gonna be? Yeah. You wanna watch something from the Criterion collection for $70,000 a year? Well, it wasn't 70,000, but Columbia College, that was it. It was, and I made up my mind to transfer before, so I got all these things out of the way,

all these liberal arts things. So I did just kind of spend two years watching movies and making them, and learning how to make them. And we did it on 16 millimeter film. Nothing is more romantic than that era where everything is in front of you. Oh, I don't know. Like being a grownup and having money 16 millimeter film. Nothing is more romantic than that era. Where everything is in front of you. Oh, I don't know. Like being a grown up and having money

and you're being able to not be told what to do by everyone. I find that pretty sexy. But it's nice walking around and being like, I'm watching movies. Oh, that part, yeah, yeah. You motherfuckers are what? Learning medicine and engineering? Yeah.

I watched some random French movies. Yeah, I watched Man of Aaron today, you know, like these ancient documentaries. And now- I'm gonna go slackline for two hours. Now I have a 19 year old daughter who's a, you know, cineast, a film buff. And she's always, I mean, she's in college now,

but she'd always be like, you have to watch this Russian art film with me. I'm like, oh, do I really? Daddy just wants to watch Transformers 2 again. You know, Al, can I watch some spy shit on Netflix? Some dad TV? That's what I really want. Try to watch The Night Agent and fall asleep.

Please! I want nothing but plot. Character? Ick. I want plot. No, no, no. Don't make me pay attention. Subtitles? Please. I gotta drift back to my phone every 20 minutes. Were you a big movie, TV guy? Big movie, TV guy. Growing up in Arizona. Yeah, in Phoenix.

Yeah, yeah. But all my cousins and Yeah, in Phoenix. Phoenix, Arizona. But all my cousins and stuff were in Chicago. How did your folks end up there? Oh, so my- Cause they're from India. Yeah, yeah, yeah, from Hetharbath in India. And you know what's so funny, like my co-star in the show, Sagar,

his family's from Hetharbath in Pakistan. Oh, wow. Isn't it weird, we didn't even- Is it just, there's two different names, the same name or- No, it's the same name to two different cities. It's not like it's on the border and split You know, they're so far from each other Wow. Yeah, it's so crazy. Wow. And does that does that name mean something? Um

Yeah, a bod means like city of something so Heather, but I mean, I don't know I should Google city of how we're doing it. All right. I'm also from there. Oh, you're also from Heather bad. Mm-hmm This is crazy. What the hell I've never met I've maybe met three people in a work setting that I thought she was Cuban You had been wasting all this do I know oh my god, it means lion city Lion City, that's pretty good. Damn That is pretty good. And can I tell you something? The amount of biryani and stuff people are eating, no one's really moving with that kind of speed. You know, we're eating heavy foods and we're sedentary. Rice and breads and yeah yeah yeah.

Can't you tell my love's a-growing When's the last time you went? I went last year. Last year? Yeah. It's kind of nuts, isn't it? It's different now. Did you grow up here? No, I grew up in Mumbai. In Mumbai.

Yeah. Okay, so you know- Yeah, but my grandma's still in Hyderabad. So I grew up, I was born, and my dad came to America in like the 70s, and he wasn't, like, at that time to come to America, you had to be like, they were like scouting, right? So my uncle was like the smartest doctor of all the doctors. Yeah, yeah.

Which in India is saying a lot, right? So they were like, we need you. You gotta come down here, dude. We'll put you up, we'll take care of you. But the cool thing is, I guess, is you get to be almost like when a famous musician goes to a club. And they're like, yeah, but we just want Andy. But he came with like 33 other people.

We're not really interested in these 33 other people, but we'll let him come because we want you. Yeah. So it was one of those things. And so all of my brothers and siblings were like pretty well educated. He was the kind of This is where this comes from. You know, I mean he was the one that was like not very good at school He was kind of street smart II, but he wasn't like, oh, I'm Studious guy he would always lie and pretend did your parents were your parents like super like smart educated school people. Hey No, my dad wasn't, but...

You know, this is a thing where they say Heather body guys. There are kind of like we're hangout guys. Party town. Yeah, we like to hang out on the stoop soprano style and just shoot that. We love shooting the shit. You know, we're not known. I mean, there are lots of people who are educated, but like, it's not the same as other cities anywhere they go.

Everybody in Kerala has like a triple PhD, because that's just what is popping off down there. And the people are known for just, we love the hang. We love eating and talking shit. There's so much shit talking that I thought was normal. And then I would go to my friend's house and be like, how come your grandmas aren't just dive bulging? You know what I mean?

And insulting. How come your father's not on his seventh plate of food in one sitting? What is going on here? But yeah, he was more of a hang guy. Yeah. And what was his schooling in? His schooling was, he-

Hanging? Yeah, essentially, like he was really into animals. This is gonna take a turn that is gonna sound fake, but this is true. My dad was always very into animals. And so he kind of always wanted to be doing something like that. And so any sort of regular job felt like,

I'm just doing this, but I don't really give a shit about this actual job. And so he came to America in like 74 I believe and then and following his brother here following his brother his brother got moved to Was in Chicago initially and then moved up to Wisconsin Beaverdine, Wisconsin And so my brother my dad was like, okay Maybe I'll like he got admitted to a school in Detroit in the 70s and And he was working at a GM plant, very eight mile. Yeah, yeah.

And so he immediately was like, hey, so America's kind of not what I was told it would be. This was pretty interesting. I'm working in a factory in Detroit. I got mugged three days ago. But he was like, the food here is pretty lit. Like he's like, I can eat a whole bucket of KFC for like a dollar. And the thing, the difference between like India and America food-wise at that time was

India didn't really have processed foods. We were ahead of the curve on that. So my dad was like giving himself diabetes and didn't even realize it. But he was just like, oh my god, this job is hard, but I get to eat 42 White Castle burgers every night. This country's amazing. Was he eating Twinkies and Doritos and all that shit? Yeah, yeah.

Literally everything. Yeah. And so then he got a job at Honeywell, but the job was like, it's in Phoenix, Arizona, you gotta move here to work at this plant. And it was similar to the job he was doing at GM. Like he's putting fenders on cars and this was similar, but it was just like making computers. Like this was the tail end of when computers were like the size of frigerators. Yeah. And so my dad's like, well this job is gonna be. It'll last forever. 20, at least 40 years.

Yeah, computers are never gonna get any smaller than this Yeah, and and so he he like told my my grandma on his side and was like, hey, I got a job I'm good at my and my grandma's like, alright, let's get you married. And so he went back to Nia and then they're like this is Arranged yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and my mom was like What's up, and then that's it. And then they got married. And they've been married for like, I don't know, 40, 40 some odd years. And it's so crazy by American standards. But I mean, but there's so many young Indian people

that are just like, oh, a lot of my friends have got an arrangement. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. You know. I mean, that's how you do it. Are there arranges in your fam? Yeah, yeah, my parents were arranged, yeah. Yeah. Is there pressure on you to do it too? Yeah, but I'm not, yeah. Do you see how she, did you see the trend?

She's like, yeah, I mean, I'm cool though, I'm not gonna do it, but. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, yeah, every day, every day they tell me. Yeah. But you know, I'm pushing back. Right, right. It's such a weird, like, I day. Every day they tell me. But you know, I'm pushing back. Right, right. It's such a weird, like, I mean, like I say,

to Westerners, to Americans, it's such like a hive mentality. I'm like, I don't matter. What matters is the community. And so, like, my pairing should have some sort of benefit to everybody else. I likened it to like two banks merging. Yeah. It's like, it's not about the actual tellers.

It's about Wells Fargo and Jason Bank increasing their revenue. Exactly, becoming a stronger multinational. That's exactly what it is. So yeah, so they did that. And then my mom moved out to Arizona with my dad and then they just like jammed out kids four kids immediately Wow, my dad's working at Honeywell and then how long did they get to know each other in India before they ended up? They got married and then came immediately to America and this is by the way. That's also too. That's wild for your mom

I mean your dad but he's already been here. He's already loading up on we're all Your mom, I mean your dad, but he's already been here. He's already like, I know where all the good Burger Kings and Arby's are. But your mom is like, hey, get with this guy and go to fucking Arizona. I mean, I can't even imagine like, if you told me like, hey, you're gonna, you have to go live in Guatemala.

Yeah. And that's so much closer. And by the way, here's your life partner. Yeah, and you can't come back. If you come back, this is a huge failure. Yeah, and you can't come back. If you come back, this is a huge failure. Right, right. You will not be welcomed with open arms

if you come back. Your ancestors will shun you. You have to go there and do well enough that we then can live in your guest room. Yeah. Like you have to help us out, dude. Stop being selfish and go live in a place that does not appeal to you at all.

So that we too can open up a business that you started. And it was one thing, like if, you know, they lived in Chicago where all our, you know, cousins are and everything like that. Yeah. But to have to like go to a new country, you know, you learn the language and then and then live in a place where you don't literally know anybody. Yeah. And then you get a job and just figure it out. Yeah.

Does your mom talk to you about those times and what that was like for her? I asked them about it, but immigrant parents don't really like... They don't want it, yeah. They don't like going back into the memory bank. They don't like doing that. They're always thinking about, you know, when are you guys getting married? They're thinking forward. Yes.

They don't do any of the, you know, well, back in my day, blah, blah,'re thinking forward. Yes. They don't do any of the, you know, well, back in my day. Yeah. They don't they don't do any of that. They don't. That's that's like a few generations ago for me. And there were like older people that kind of had rough shit. And when you like the only way they'd ever bring up the history is to belittle your lack of suffering. You know, like, you know what I did?

And like, oh, okay, that's all I know about you is just the shit that you bring up to let me know that I'm a weakling. Oh, you had to do a podcast this morning? Interesting. I had to leave my entire extended family. Right, right, right. My grandmother, her parents were missionary, were Swedish missionaries in China. And when she was like five or six years old,

she and her brother, who was like, I think maybe a year older, got on a boat to go to boarding school and they were like en route for two weeks. Can I say boat is worse? At least my parents had to take a plane. Just two little kids, you know. Boat is excruciating.

Yeah, yeah. Because you're just looking out of a little window. Right, and with just like a little tag tied to their clothes, like, you know. Boat seems so bad. Yeah, yeah. Plane seems like, oh, at least we're in the sky, and it's like, interesting. It's just, it was a different time. Well, I think, you know, kids were very expendable in those days.

Yes, they were. They were dying constantly. So it's like, yeah, go ahead. Yeah, one of my brothers is named after one of my... Oh, this is going to be crazy. I want to ask you this. Who named you guys? I think my parents.

My parents actually wanted me to be named after the first son, like the matriarch. So they just added an I to his name. So it was like Anugra, and then I was supposed to be Anugrahy. And they were like that, and then the whole family was like, that's weird. You can't just do that.

And they're like, what did America do? Be cool about this. It's like naming someone Kevany. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Everyone made fun of them. So then they were like, okay, fine, Joanna. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Everyone made fun of them, so then they were like, okay, fine, Joanna. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Joanna.

We'll deal with Joanna then. They're like, wow, hard pivot to the other side here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My father's mother, my grandma, named all of us. That's how traditional. Wow. Could you imagine having four kids? Oh my God.

And then your mother-in-law's like, mm, I'm gonna decide. Right, right, right. And my mom just was like, okay. All right, all right. I guess. I'll call them whatever you want. Insane, but that's like, that speaks to like,

and I only found that out because I asked. I was like, so how did you come up with the name? And she's like, I didn't. I go, what? You didn't name me? Yeah. She's like, no. That's not how it worked back then.

But like that kind of thing of like, I think also they kind of block it out because they don't want to reminisce because then it would be too sad. Right. And because you have to like, there's so much like interior brainwashing, auto brainwashing you have to do

to like let go of your autonomy that much. That you're like, you know, in 20 years, when my smart ass kid wants to know, I don't wanna talk about it. Like I had to give up a lot of shit in terms of my identity and my dreams and my hopes and wishes. And you guys being like, that's weird.

Yeah, yeah. That's weirded me for 20 years. Do they expect that of you or do they know that this is a different world or do they see how difficult it was for them and they don't want that of you or do they know that this is a different world or do they see like how difficult it was for them and they don't want that for you? I think it's a little bit of all those things. I think initially I think the idea behind, and I'm sure it's probably a little bit similar with you, I think it's, you know, they want you to do the things that they did because

they're like, well, we understand this, and this worked out for us. So if you did that, we at least have some sort of handle on this. But if you tell your parents you're dating and they married the first person they met, to them it's just like, they just see problems. And uncharted territory, and I can't help you. You know what I mean?

And that never leaves them of like, I want to help you. I want to make sure that there's bumpers at the bowling alley kind of thing. And so I think they did want that. They wanted, luckily, one of my brothers has two kids. Once the nephews get on board, do you have nephews? I'm telling you, once it happens, you'll feel like a wave of love. Because then your parents would be like, what the hell was your name? Jodie? Who cares?

We got these cute ass kids here. Yeah, here we go. Yeah, babies changes everything. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I'm sure they would want to, but I think for me, the turning point was once I started making money doing standup and acting and stuff, and it wasn't a lot of money,

but once they were like, oh, he's consistently working and he can pay rent and he's fine and he's not doing heroin or something. He seems like he's totally fine. But that initial worry was kind of a lot. Yeah, well and especially if your dad, from what you sound like, your dad is not like the kind of guy that insists on

MBAs from no no no yeah, yeah, no no and in fact I love the tell him about his his money-making oh yeah, yeah, okay, so basically after he got laid off from Honeywell We there was four of us and then my mom and so my dad was like working random jobs Dishwashing whatever and then my mom went to trade school to become a respiratory therapist, which she then just did. She thought it was gonna be like a short thing. She just loved it and then she just did it for like,

you know, she just retired a couple years ago. And my dad was like always hanging out with like animal people. Like his hangout would be like pet stores. Like his Cheers Bar was like a Petco or like, pet stores yeah like his Cheers bar was like a Petco or like a you know like those farm places yeah yeah yeah and and he would hang out there and he he made a friend he made a couple friends there one of his friends Mark was like hey you know you can't you can't bring in

animals anymore like internationally and my dad's like like what he goes like birds like that was a big thing like bringing birds and my dad's like like what he goes like birds like that was a big thing like bringing birds and my dad's like birds are awesome what happened to these birds that got in and he was like um uh yeah they just haven't quarantined in southern california and they're just gonna either they're gonna be under the care of state or they're gonna auction them off and they just like macaws and cockatoos and things like that and then my dad instead of being like cool story i'm just, I'm gonna keep looking

for a better job and then, you know, be a father or whatever. He took a huge portion of our savings, took our minivan, came to Southern California and then bought a bunch of jungle birds and then brought them back to Phoenix. And then for the next 10 years started buying, breeding, and selling exotic birds as a family business. Yeah, yeah. And so like... How many did he bring back?

Oh, I think that first run, that first little taste as they say, was probably at least, I want to say, somewhere between 10 to 20. Wow! In a minivan! Yeah, it was a good deal. That is a noisy drive home. It's a noisy drive. Oh my God. But there was something about him.

Like, I look at him, like now looking back on it, he was so alive. Yeah. Because he was like, it was almost like Breaking Bad to him. Yeah. Because he was off the grid. But also he's animals, it's not meth, you know what I mean? It's like, I can totally, I... You can understand meth, we've all done meth.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but I mean, no, it's just, it is animals. There is like something magical and the child that lives in you forever is always like, kitty, you know? And so I'm sure it was just a thrill to be around. And also birds, I had a parrot for a while. Oh, you did? Well, kind of.

Yeah, a blue-headed pionus. Ooh. And it was a sweet bird, but when my ex-wife and I split up, it was like, I was going into an apartment and it was, you know, I was like, She got the bird? Yeah, well, no, she was like, this,

this bird is getting out of here. Oh. And, and it's your bird. And my kids were bummed, but it's like, I can't put this because I moved into an apartment by myself. And I was like, I can't do this to this bird. And there were places that, that he could go. And he actually, he went to this woman that I know

that owns a bird store. Yeah. And then, um,aulay Culkin had my bird for like about a year and a half. This is the most insane name drop I've ever heard. I know, believe me, I know. Macaulay Culkin has your bird? Had my bird, but then when he and his wife, Brenda Song had a baby, they decided,

I don't know what happened, they had to get rid of the bird. So the bird is now a permanent fixture at the bird store in Burbank. Oh, do they mention that that bird has previously been owned by two celebrities? I don't think so. That should be in the little info thing. A little brass plaque attached to him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. But yeah, but I did love having a bird Yeah, but I don't know that I would ever cuz again you get the bird and you hear oh those things live 30 or 40 years Oh, really? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh birdie come home birdie Yeah, and then after a while you're like, holy fuck This thing is here for 30 or 40 years pretty manageable. I can't that my dad was getting, they live like 60. Yeah.

And so. And then like macaws are scary. They're huge. They're like, you might as well have an eagle in your house. Yeah. Talons and claws and beaks. They can crack open like those nutcrackery type. Yeah, yeah.

And just like no problem. Yeah. Or take off a thumb if they feel like it. Totally. Yeah, yeah. So we had, so my dad had that, and this was like during the 90s, sort of like the Clinton surplus era. Sure, sure.

So for people who don't know, in the 90s, there was a time period where people had extra money. Yeah. And it will never happen again. Yeah. But there was a moment where people had some extra money, and it also coincided with that era of people wanting weird pets. Dogs and cats were done. People wanted like sugar gliders. They wanted monkeys.

Remember that lady who went on Oprah and was like my monkey ripped my face off. The monkey was my best friend. Everyone in the audience was like, monkey was your best friend. Oh. And then... Have you seen that chimp crazy duck? Oh my god. It makes you never look at any other ape, you know, any other simian character of a movie the same any again.

It's insane. And so my father didn't realize how big of a booming business it was going to be. He thought it was going to be like, oh, this might be my side hustle. Yeah. But then- And how's your mom for this? Oh, my mom hated it. Yeah, yeah.

I was like, birds. I didn't come all the way to America to marry a bird man. She called him a bird man once at a wedding. And the face he had, oh God, I wish I had a camera. You know, cause like, you know, South Asian weddings when you're there, you know, especially if you're like immigrant, a lot of it is like saving face.

You don't wanna be the losers at the table. Yeah, yeah. You wanna at least like keep it under control. Come on, don't embarrass me. Right, let's just put all the good stuff out there. But my mom is like a sweet, honest lady. So she was like, well, you seem pumped about the birds and they're like, what does your husband do?

And the two words came together and she's like, he's a bird man and my dad's like you son of a And we're like oooh he's fit. And then on the drive home he's like why why'd you have to call me a bird man and she's like you're a man that like that you do bird business. That sounds bird. You're in the bird business. It's the same thing and he goes you should have just said I do real estate and she goes you don't do He's like I can't with you guys too much But yeah, so he got into that and he was doing really well with it and I met so many, you know in hindsight You know one of the things that probably kind of pushed me towards comedy I just we would go with him when he would make his sales.

You'd do them on the weekends. How did he outed that work? On the classified edge. Classified edge, yeah, yeah. He would call and then, you know, they charge you by like the letter or whatever. Yes, yes, by the word I think. Yeah, by the word. And he'd have to like whittle it down from like beautiful blue and gold macaw, tame,

six months, whatever. And he'd like, it would be like, maca, tame, $500. Like it'd just be the most. Yeah, right, right. You'd have to write like an assassin or like a Jason Statham character in a movie, that's how classified it was. Or like you're clipping him out of a magazine

and your scissors are dull, so you gotta do it quick. And so then people would call him, oh, and he was so insane about the phone. Yeah. Anybody called, he'd be like, right there. Nobody, and he was so insane about the phone. Yeah. Anybody called, he'd be like, right there. Nobody, don't. Don't touch. Don't touch the phone.

This is a big business. You pick up the phone, and then we would meet all these wild ass characters. Like, the first, like, it was the only time I had ever met anybody that did anything in the arts. There was this lady that bought an African Grey Congo, which are like, they're known for speaking. They're the number one talking birds.

And she bought it and it was like three grand. And my dad was like, what do you do? And she was like, I write music, I write songs for country music artists. I remember looking at her and being like, holy shit, you can have like a career? Yeah. Just doing that?

You can afford $3,000 bird? This is crazy. That's insane that you're just like, just you can afford $3,000 birds. This is crazy Yeah, that's insane that you're just like flippantly buying a $3,000 bird and and my dad would put all the money underneath the carpet in one of my brother's rooms and He was fully off the grid for like 40 plus years and I'd meet so many characters So I'd meet people like that. I would meet this is all under the table. There's no Nothing legal about this. Yeah. What does he put on his tax returns or do you even know? Nothing. I feel like I'm just a guy. You let me live. I'm no bird man. I'm just a stay-at-home father.

I don't even know what birds are. Yeah, is it illegal to take care of my kids? Yeah. And then whatever money he would he'd probably just just funnel it through my mom or something like that. Yeah. And but we all had little jobs. Like my oldest brother's job was to like, he would help. He was very handy. And so he would help build like, oh, this bird needs a custom cage or a nest or something. Right, right. He was very good at that kind of thing. The brother underneath him, who's now, who's been my manager for a long time, was always like really into finance and stuff like that. And so he would like do the books and the accounting for my dad. And then the one underneath him, he'd be in charge of the rug of the finances. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, come on, let's let's make sure these numbers line up.

And then and then the one underneath him was was like he was very into like, OK, this is, that bird can't eat this. They eat this bird is on this diet and this diet or whatever, like you'd be in charge of that. And then my job was the essentially vibes kind of thing. Like my job was to tame them. Oh, wow. So I would get the little bit. Starting at what age?

Oh, I think I was like desperate to do that. I was maybe like at 10 maybe. Wow. I was like desperate to do that. Maybe like at 10 maybe? Wow. I was like, because it was just like a little cute little baby. Yeah, yeah. And then my job was like- Oh, you just would take them from when they were chicks. So my job was like, well, my dad would like hand feed them,

would be to like make sure that they would respond to- Step up on the finger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I would do that. It truly was like, as much as it was like the worst thing possible for my mom to deal with, like my particular job was so fun. Like being like, oh, this bird is like, you know,

and then they would get sold. And then I'd be like, I'll see you later, dude. See you later. Welcome to life on a farm, you know? At least they weren't being turned into chicken nuggets. Yeah, it's not dinner. But so then we did, my dad did that for a long time and then he saved up all that money and then eventually he did become real estate man.

He bought two properties. Oh wow. Yeah, he took that and then like he mixed it with my mom's money and he bought two properties. Are the birds all over the house? No, he built an aviary in the back, in the back of our, in our backyard. In our tiny little house we grew up in in Phoenix, if you did like a Google Maps view, there's a tiny little house that looks like a smaller version

of the same house, but it has better air conditioning, it has better security, it's newer, the insulation is better, like everything is better. We would go in there and be like, what the fuck, this is so much nicer. Well, that's the house that makes money. The other house costs money. He's like, you want to cool down and go hang out with the birds.

Yeah, go tame a bird if you're hot. Can't you tell my love's a girl? But yeah, that kind of thing kind of taught us, we became very DIYers. But yeah, you know that kind of like that kind of thing kind of taught us like We became very like DIYers. Yeah, like we would build One time we we went to a we were helping my dad with roofing as children and we went to like a dump to like You know, you got to throw all this stuff away and there was like a bike and there's signs that clearly say do not take Don't take stuff. Yeah. Yeah, and my dad's like, this is merely a suggestion, boys. Right, right, right.

And we saw a bike, like a 10-speed bike, and my oldest brother was like, we gotta get that bike. And I can do something with that. And I was like, okay, it's like a dented up old bike. And we brought it home. He took an old weed whacker engine. He had learned how to weld from his friend, Mike Hemphill's dad, who was like a mechanic.

He learned how to tack weld. So he built a, this is true, he built a thing on the back, like a little plate on the back, and he took the weed whacker engine and ran the chain back to the back wheel. And we basically had like a little- A little motorcycle. Yeah, a little kind of janky motorcycle.

And then we had that and it was so dangerous, but then we started charging people to ride it. And we're like, yes. Business. And then one kid ate it really hard. But also you had to make, we got lucky that the kid who, because he was going fast. It was like 35, like 30 miles an hour on a bicycle. It's deranged.

Right. With not brakes that probably really don't do anything. No, no, no. These are landfill dumpster brakes. These are just a suggestion. And so he hit a speed bump, this kid, and he just like ate it. And we were like, we're going to jail.

Yeah. We're going to jail, we're dead. We just killed that kid. But he was the one kid, and every neighborhood has this kid, like the Johnny Knoxville of their little block. And he like smashed his face, and then he got up. And he was just like, it was like a moment where we're like and he smashed his face and then he got up, and it was a moment where we were like, we're dead, and then he was like, yes!

Yes! All right! That was awesome! Yeah. And we were like, oh my God, thank you for his mental illness or whatever the hell was going on with him. Right.

But he was just like, that kid was like, yeah, he was the kid who was good at everything because he powered through. Like the only reason he's good at skateboarding is because he broke his leg and then continued to skateboard afterwards. Yeah. Yeah. So he had like his nose was bloody, but he's like, that was the best. Like a real like adrenaline junkie, whatever. But what we took from that, what my brother took from that was like,

don't do that. And then also, like we would would just, like, buy and sell stuff all the time. And it was actually a pretty fun time. Pretty fun time, but definitely, like, not a thing that, like, looking at, like, how my brothers and my nephews, it's like, all the stuff we did, he was like, I would never do that. They're not dealing out of a garage, you know, junk out of a garage.

No, it's insane how unsafe it was. But do you think that that kind of more loosey-goose of, you know, like dad drove to California and got birds? Yeah. And then we're like, it just kind of, it probably made it easier to like, oh yeah, show business. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think his whole, again, I think their whole thing was like, oh, you're making money and, and, you know, you're eating and all that. And also, my mom didn't know this, but she kind of inspired me in a different way,

which is, you know, I dropped out of school because I was getting a little heat. So I was like, I should go to LA because people are asking. But dropping out was like- Wait, wait, tell me what that means. Okay, so when I was in college, I started doing stand-up sort of at the tail end of high school.

And then when I went to, I wanted to go to LA or New York, and they were both too scary. I didn't know anybody and they were too expensive. So I was like, I have cousins in Chicago. My brother was living there and I was like, oh I can do this. And so I went to Chicago and I was doing stand-up and improv and all that. And so what was happening was I was doing stand-up and my brother, this is before he was my manager, he was working in finance and he was like, hey, so, you know, how are you making money?

What is your plan with stand-up? And I go, you know, so I gotta keep doing shows and I gotta get a good tape together and then I'm gonna submit my tape to get a college agent because I could do a bunch of colleges and make money that way and then I can hopefully get more material that way and then get like a proper agent, whatever.

And he was like, you know, when I was in college, people would call, people would call and they'd kind of like pitch their clients or whatever. And he was on one of those activity board kind of things. And he was like- Like the student union. Yeah, and I remember we looked at each other for a second and we were like, and like a light bulb went off.

And I went to the off and I went I went to the library and I googled every single activities like at least five clubs and the activities coordinator of like every single college and and community college in Illinois, Michigan, you know Wisconsin every single surrounding states yeah like by a Greyhound or something. And what he would do during his lunch break is he would call them and pretend to be this big manager. This big Hollywood manager.

Right, right. And he would call them and be like, Hi, my name is Mo. And he made up some company and he'd be like, you know, have you guys booked your comedy out for the year? And they'd be like, no. Because it's like so easy to book comedy. They usually would do that last because

the things with the bands and stuff like that They would get that out of the way first. There's no equipment. No, it's just a guy in a microphone guy Yeah, a guy with a with mental problems showing up right who just needs one microphone. Yeah, a guy with a unnatural need for attention and approval And rent money And he would be like, so you guys book out your comedians for the year? And they'd be like, no. And he'd be like, listen, I'm not going to waste your time.

Which, by the way, that guy's always going to waste your time. The guy who opens up with that, I don't want to waste your time. Some bullshit's about to come out of his mouth. So he goes, I don't want to waste your time. I have a lot of big clients. And he was like, Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, you know, Jerry Seinfeld. And they were like, Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, you know, Jerry Seinfeld.

And they were like, ooh. And then he's like, but you don't want them. Yeah. Amazing turn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want Dave. What? They're nothing but trouble. He's only two thousands.

Of course, this is the biggest comedian in the whole world. Why wouldn't I want him? He's nagging them. He goes, here's the thing. You could book them, but the problem is, what if they get invited to a Hollywood party? Guess who they're gonna cancel on first? Yeah, yeah. Central Illinois University. And they'd be like, yeah, you're right. And then he'd be like, but you know who I do have. I have this really funny young comic. He's worked on his special. He's already in the area. He's in college.

Yeah, so he could really connect with the kids. He has a great tape. And, you know, I'll cut his rate in half for you. Just between the two of us. But you gotta promise me the next time around, you'll give him his normal rate. And the amount of times... I booked maybe from just his phone calls. Maybe like... at least like 30 schools. Wow. Because, you know, just cold calling. Do you have to show a tape like do you have I had I had okay?

Yeah, so he was like you got to meet me so like I had a good tape But that thing of like having somebody which is very much like a testament to this business like you got to have somebody that is like pushing for sure you just need one person who gives a show. And so I had all the stuff and I had a good tape and he would send that out and he was like, they'll respond to the tape how they respond to it. And thankfully they did and I did so many shows during that that I then got a proper college agent.

And then I was doing well enough that people in in LA, a couple companies were like found me like on YouTube or something. I was like doing sketches and I put up some stand-up on there and they're like, hey if you ever come to LA and want to act, you know, you know, let us know. We'd love to send you out on auditions and stuff. And so I was like, I was like a sophomore and I was like, I don't know, like this seems kind of crazy to just like drop out of college is pretty intense. And so I talked to my brother about it,

but then at that same time, my mom, remember she went to a trade school and all of her sisters went to college. And so she always felt like, I want a degree from an American university. That's like, you know, that's like one, you know, American secondary education is like, you know, very famous and like internationally. So she's like, that's like a real stamp. Like, I want that. And so her hospital, like her job paid for it.

So in her fifties, in her late fifties, she went back to college and then got a degree in like nursing, but she never used, she just wanted the degree. And well, she did try it for like a little bit, but the problem is, is like in respiratory therapy she worked specifically with babies and like the NICU. And then in nursing, she was working with adults and then within like six months she's like, I fuck these people. If I could, I'd pull the plug on every single person on this floor.

Stop asking me where the fucking remote is, Robert. I'm trying to save your goddamn life. And so she was like, screw this, I wanna go back to the babies or whatever. But watching her do that, I was like, college is not going anywhere. Absolutely. But this opportunity that's being presented to me,

this may or may not, I can't count on this being here forever. Right. So I was like, fuck it. I took my Lenscrafters money. I wish I had more commissions, but I was like, fuck it. And then I drove to California. And then I started auditioning and stuff, and I made really good friends, and we would

shoot sketches and stuff that actually then helped us get a lot of... Because at that time all the, you know, acting roles were kind of like... It was bad. It was like terrorist, cab driver, you know, guy with an accent kind of thing. And then the catch-22 is if I was like, hey, I want to play a friend in this show, they'd be like, what's on your reel? And they'd be like, nothing, because I'm waiting to be friend on the show. And I'd be like, well, if you don't have friend on your reel, then we're not gonna... And then my friends-

Yeah, you need experience, but we won't give you experience unless you have experience. And I had friends who were older than me, who were like such incredible actors, like Julie Artish people, who, you know, were like, I did the right thing. I took all the parts in the hopes that if I do a good job,

they'll give me a better part kind of thing. And then they were like, we're screwed because now they just have like terrorist cab driver, guy with accent on their resume, even though there's so much more talented than that. And then when they go in and be like, can I play the friend? They go, you have experience, but it's not in Fred.

So we won't give you that either kind of thing. So what we did, it was, I had a sketch group with my friends. It's me, Hasan Minhaj, Aristotle Atari, and Fahim Anwar, who was on your show a bunch of times. And so we did sketches together initially just as like, hey, we need to put stuff on our reel that is funny. And also showcases us being like, you know, human three-dimensional human beings.

But thankfully those sketches kind of took off and gave us like this own thing. But then I started, you know, it's also like a thing of like, I wonder if it was like this with you, of like, I didn't know what the thing was gonna be. I thought for me it was just gonna be stand-up. In a weird way, stand-up took the longest time because that's just how stand up works unless you're some sort of savant. And acting took off a lot faster. So for like, for like, for like Hasan, right? So me, Hasan, Ari and Fahim,

we're all doing the same stuff at the same time. Fahim popped off stand up wise very fast because he actually is like a stand up savant. Ari's an incredible director and writer and actor, but he did like SNL and then now he's like, but Hassan popped off on the like, hey, your personality. And like Ari made his daily show tape with all the same shitty equipment that we were using making our sketches and stuff like that. And then mine was like, oh, this guy,

I always acted in things or whatever. And so it was like really cool seeing like that become a thing and have us all get something out of making something for ourselves. No, it's cool when your friends are also, you go from, can we do this for a living? Holy shit, we're all doing it for a living. It's really cool, you know? And you feel like there was some, you were part of something auspicious

that you didn't even know was auspicious while you were doing it. When you were in Chicago, was it like acting was the focus or filmmaking? Improv, all improv. And I mean, but with the intent of being an actor, I did not, I never wanted to do standup. It just wasn't like, I've mentioned it a million times.

I don't, that wasn't what kind of thrilled me. Like I liked getting into the improv world and getting around all these funny people was like, oh my God, you know, it was like, you know, turning black and white into color. You know, I was like, oh my,, it was like, turning black and white into color. I was like, oh my, now I'm with my people, these fucking weirdos, and also just, people that just wanted to be funny all the time

and have fun. That's the funny thing about improv. Yeah, that it's just you and your buddies getting together and making something out of thin air. For me, it was like, guys, I can't make any money, I have to pay rent. Yeah, yeah. Because I was doing both. Yeah. But at a certain point I was like, guys I'm

just dumping money into this thing. I have to get money somehow. Yeah absolutely. No I mean. I was better at stand-up than I was at improv. People who are good at improv are like, that's a completely different part of your brain that's like doing a thing. I felt like all the time when I was doing improv I was like in the back man I was like, and then after this we have to bring this back. Yes. And then do this. Yes.

And what's the craziest version of this blah blah. And then I would have friends on there who were like, it's just happening for them. Yes. And I'm like, this is your thing. Well, there was no internet back there, back then anyway. So there was no, there wasn't anywhere like, you did it on stage

and a casting director saw you and maybe you got hired, but there was no sort of like, I've gotta get myself out there on the L stop. You know, go do improv scenes on the L stop. It just didn't, it wasn't like that. And I actually went to film school in Chicago and was working in film production. And that's how, I mean, I was not making,

you know, there was like very lean, awful years, you know, parking my car six blocks away so it didn't get repossessed kind of years. But yeah, but it's, you know, you just keep plugging away. You just keep plugging away. Yeah, until, and I never had any kind of like design. I just felt like, nah, I think I had good instincts of like good groups of people to be around

that then opportunities would sort of present themselves. Yeah, and it's oftentimes like, yeah, if you like being around like nice, funny people, then you're gonna be fine. Did you, now, from going from acting, because there is this kind of, and I mean, cause I felt it. Yeah.

Because when people like, where'd you get your acting training? It's like, eh, bullshitting. And you know, like just being in things and then acting like I'm legit. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, and I wonder too, like did you, yeah, it was like.

Mine was all like improv. They all gave me good, like, you know, like a toolbox. Like improv helped me loosen up. It helped me get like fully committed to ideas. It helped me listen, which are all like very important things in acting. Stand-up helped me, you know, be a better writer, be able to like have better, you know,

tags and stuff for scenes, which back when people would audition in person, that was like, that helped me. I feel like gave me like a serious leg up in that I could give you three versions. Like if you told me to do the scene three times, you'd get three different tags, three different entirely different versions of the scene, but in the same wheelhouse, which other actors who maybe were more like word perfect guys, which is a great asset to have and certainly I'm sure has been a detriment to my career as trying to be like trying to get into like a drama thing

but for comedy Being word perfect and hitting punctuation hitting the exact words. Yeah, I don't care. They're like paraphrase Yeah, they're like can you make are you elevate? Are you making this funnier right than what it is on the page? And can you you know make it your own that way on the show them laughs that they didn't write in that You know because they're thinking the day of like okay if Annie's gonna be on set the day of I can just throw them make it your own that way. If you show them laughs that they didn't write in that, you know. Because they're thinking the day of like, okay, if Annie's going to be on set the day of,

I can just throw him something and he'll turn it in into something funny anyways. So you're just taking, you know, sweat off their back kind of thing. And so, yeah, so improv helped me kind of like loosen up, be in the moment, stand up helped me with writing and doing tags and stuff. And then doing the sketches with my friends

helped me learn everything else. Cause you know, it was very shoestring. So we were writing, shooting, editing, you know, casting, lighting, and then locations, all that together. So like, if you were in the scene with Hussin, I was holding a boom mic and Fima was holding a camera. All right, you know what I mean?

Yeah. So I learned everything. That's just film school. That's what you do in film school. Like you're in this one you direct this one I'll direct the next one and then you're in the next one. And what helped a lot was then looking at the takes and sitting there around in you know, fame's tiny-ass apartment in Koreatown us You know just staying up until like four o'clock in the morning and then watching the takes and being like, geez, why did I, why did I do that? But that was like the best way to learn of like, I don't like that I do that.

I like that I do that. And this is how things come together. And, you know, don't be so long-winded here and you can type things up here. So that really was essentially my film school and we did it for about the same amount of time, I would say about like four or five years. We were doing it for a while

and I feel like the combination of all that helped so much because then when I was on set, I could fake it but I had all the skills but I just didn't didn't have like a fancy a fancy degree to show for it. But ultimately it really is just making stuff. It's only what you're gonna learn. Yeah, fake it till you make it. That's like one of the truest things I know work-wise. Would you tell yourself something on set early on? Like just get through it. Mine was you're gonna

be fine. I've been saying, I didn't realize this about myself until maybe a couple years ago. But for most of my life I've been saying like, we're gonna be fine. I say to other people and to myself. Yeah, no, I don't have a conscious sort of like thing like that. I just basically, very early on I realized, because I got an agent well before that, I rightly had a reason to,

because I was in a live show that was popular. So, you know, a casting person saw me, recommended me to an agent in New York, then it transferred to an LA agent. So, and everyone around me was very envious. And I didn't, and I just, but I'd go to things, go to meetings or auditions, and I would, but I'd go to things, go to meetings or auditions,

and I would feel completely invalid, unlegit, and they would treat me like I was valid and legit. And I was like, oh, it would be rude of me to disagree with them. So I'm just gonna act like I'm legit and valid, and I deserve to be here with, like, you know, go to an audition and it's like,

every face in the waiting room is like a legitimate character actor that I've seen a hundred times. And be like, oh no, I deserve to be here as much as them. Ha ha ha ha. And just, you know, just kind of push through and try to, again, fake it, you know? Also with comedy, it's like, when you're, when it was in person, sitting in the waiting room

and hearing somebody crush through that door, and you'd be like, God damn it. Yeah, you know, you just gotta. And then you just do it and then- There's so much compartmentalization and so much like stuff that normally does not help your mental health. Like shoving things in a box and being like,

oh, well, that's a concern. I'm just gonna not think about that. I'm gonna put that away. Like shoving things in a box and being like, oh well, that's a concern, I'm just gonna not think about that, I'm gonna put that away. Like that's not good, but it's necessary. It's necessary, but frankly I think like, you know, the thing with, you know, stand-ups being super neurotic and weird or whatever, stand-up I feel like, and just performance in general,

helped me so much deal with that, the uncertainty and the lack of control you have in acting, just for acting, that having stand-up and that helped me so much detach. Because I was like, oh, I worked on this pilot, we'll see what happens. I auditioned for this thing, we'll see what happens. And I was like, oh, but I have my show tonight. So being like a thing, it was almost like, you know, a guy that goes home and does like woodworking or painting, whatever.

It's like I have another project I'm working on. But my friends who were just actors, I would feel so bad for them because then they would just be like... That's all they got, yeah. All right. And then some of them would be like having like these beautiful mind kind of like theories. Yeah, yeah. They'd be like, I don't know, like I saw that the head of the studio actually went over here so is he moving places and like what does that mean for the show and like does

that mean that they... I saw the casting director at Trader Joe's, does that... and then it's one in my neighborhood, does that mean that I got the part? Whatever. And it's like dude, you gotta find a hobby. This is really... Yeah, yeah. This is really yeah you know what was so fun is like we when we when I got this show they were

kind of deciding where to shoot the show and the show is set in Philadelphia yeah and for you know why why is that I have a show set and we're talking about deli deli boys yeah yeah so Abdul Hussain who wrote the show and created the show he lived in Philly for a long time. And you know, he worked at drugs at Vice. So he was already like, you know, he was just trying to get staffed on a show. So he was like, I'm just going to write the craziest shit I can think of, because that's just what you do when you try to get staffed. And then he took it out and people were like, let's make this show. Yeah. And he was like, oh, shit.

It was like your thing about like, hey, we're validating you. And then him being like, oh, now I got it. I got to come up with it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I guess. And so, um, he wanted it to, it reflects like Philly.

So there's so much Philly stuff in it. But the problem was, is like, I think the way the tax credit was working and infrastructure and all that kind of stuff. They ended up shooting in Chicago. And then I was like, oh, yeah. Yeah. We're back home, baby. I know my way around that place. I was so excited. I had never shot anything in Chicago. Yeah.

And it really was like I got a little everyone is staying at these fancy hotels in downtown and I go, you idiots. I'm staying in Logan Square. Yeah. And I'm gonna walk around and I'm gonna be one of the locals and I'm gonna dap up the guy at the coffee shop and I'm gonna get a fixed gear bicycle and I'm gonna be that guy. And then they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah,

you're like the lead of the show. You have to work 15 hours every day. And I was like, I didn't get to do anything. Anything, yeah. I literally was just like. Just be sleeping anything. Anything yeah. I literally just be sleeping. Maybe like one night Saturday night would be the only night I would go out. But shooting in Chicago was so fun because it kind of reminded me like why I loved the city so much. It's like it's such a great town. It's so easy to get around. The people are so nice

and they're so talented and doing a comedy show there was so great because we had so many guest stars that are local comedy people. And the thing about Chicago is for some reason, they don't shoot comedy shows there. It's always like a Dick Wolf. And it's a comedy town. It's a comedy town, but they keep doing like- Or Batman. You're big...

Fucking Batman. Come on. Just cause Lower Whacker. It's like, how many times are you gonna shoot in Lower Whacker? Leave Lower Whacker alone. Yeah, yeah. And it's always like, you know, these heavy, procedurally type shows. Yeah, yeah.

And you have just this wealth of comedic talent that's just sitting there and then has to end up going to LA or New York because nothing is happening there. And so it felt so awesome for us to get all these really talented Chicago people and they were so stoked. They were like, I had to play a dead body last week on Chicago PD. I finally get to be funny. We get to talk. We get to be alive. So getting to do like this kind of crazy, you know, comedy first kind of show was so great because when I first moved to LA, like I was saying, like all those parts were like so dumb.

And so to have a show that was like, you know, it felt closer to the shows that I loved, like, you know, like your guys' show and, you know, like the rest of development and, you know, like it's always sunny and like these types of shows that are just funny for funny's sake. Right. And it's like joke first kind of stuff like I was like oh I've been waiting for this so long. Yeah. And it's just a really funny concept but it just happens to have

South Asian people in it and I was like why did it take this damn long? Yeah. For this to happen. Yeah. But I'm so happy I got to be a part of it. You know, that it is... Because, you know, like you were talking about how, you know, South Asian people, you terrorist cab driver, whatever kind of thing. I mean, it has changed. It has. Because you are...

I play plenty of roles where your Indian-ness is sort of incidental. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And... They more so focus on how hot I am. Right, exactly. It's your fuckability now that's really crippling you. It's, but no, I- His fuckability scores through the roof. He's too fuckable.

No one's gonna laugh at that. They're gonna be too hard. Put glasses on him immediately. Yeah. But I do wonder because, you know, when there is representation, I would worry about there being so much pressure on it. So much. You know, because like if I make a mediocre show, they're not going to go like, we tried

doughy white guys. Yeah. We're not doing white guys. People don't want to see white guys. You know, but I mean, but you know, as dumb as the way this business works is, it's like, we tried that, you know? And it didn't work. Luckily, I mean, luckily, but also not, it's not luckily, because it's a really funny show. Thank you so much. And really, and has such energy, and it's so great.

And the one thing that I really like about it too is that yes, there's all this representation and it's a glimpse into family dynamics that I have sort of glancingly heard about and like hilarious things like inter-Pakistani Indians, like sort of rivalry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like in as much as there's this kind of different stuff,

there's, it's also, it's a madcap television comedy. Totally. Yeah. Like there's so much stuff that happens in it that is, I mean, it's funny and it's new and it's fresh, but it also is kind of like within the, the, like,

oh yeah, gotta get rid of a body, kind of, you know, like it's, it's still the old, and it feels, you know, lots of just really tried and true comedy structures, you know. And these are the things that, like, as a comedian, like, that I gravitated towards. Those kinds of things that, you know, would give you quotables and would give you things that you would rewatch. Yeah. And you know what I mean? Like these like sort of thesis statement shows are very important and you know, but those are for a certain type of person.

You know what I mean? I'm not that guy. Right. I wish I was sometimes, you know, but I'm not that guy. Like I'm not the guy who wants to be in a thing where it's sort of like, hey, this is our plea for humanity.

Right, right. Please look at us like we're human beings. I'm like, I guess we have to make that. But I'm like, I hope we can get past that at some point. And this, for the first time, felt like, oh, we're kind of moving away from that. Like, we can just be, you know, in a funny show for funny's sake. Right, right.

You can have a druggie brother and you can have, you know, like a nervous wreck brother. You can have a show that's like in, like... Or a gay mafia uncle, for Christ sakes, you know? And it has nothing to do with their ethnicity. It's like, oh, this is just a crazy... This could be... That could have been a guy on Sopranos. Right. And it would have been... It would have worked totally fine.

Absolutely. Or they could be Irish, you know? Or whatever, yeah. And so like that kind of thing was really resonated with me of like, oh, this is just like crazy comedy for comedy's sake and there's action in it and there's like, you know, stunts and shit. And then there's like all of the intricacies and nuances all came from just the mere fact that like

a South Asian guy wrote it and then we're South Asian in it. So a lot of like the slaying and little things was just us on set being like, hey, what if Lucky Auntie says this in Urdu? And she'd be like, what is that? And then she'd be like, okay. And then those things to make it in. So like those little things just come from, you know, if the show was,

if you replaced all of us with Japanese people, the same thing would have happened kind of thing. So it's your Gabagool. It's our Gabagool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God, that's so good. Thank you. That should be the tagline.

Yeah. It's our Gabagool. It's our Gabagool. Biryani, it's our Gabagool, dude. Well, I've kept you here long enough and I want to- Oh, this has been so great. Oh yeah, it's been a lot of fun. You'll Venmo me? For fun. You'll Venmo me.

For what? You'll Venmo me, sir. No, but I wonder what I mean. Do you know if you've been picked up for another season? We will find out. Hopefully we're going to get the the Andy bump. Yeah, yeah. Oh, absolutely. The Andy bump. The Heather bump.

There's like yeah, yeah, there's the corner bump. Yeah, yeah. There's like 75 people that are like really listening to every word. We love that. We need everyone. God bless them. We'll find out probably in the next couple weeks. You know, because they have to do the...

They have to ask the computer. Yes, of course. Hey, computer. How are you? How did it do? Of course, of course. And the computer will give out a little printout and then they can decide like yeah, what how are we and what it seems silly? It seems it seems

From just the you know what what I yeah feel you know and yeah sort of you know In the world like it's like it's doing very well. I hear a lot of people talking about it I see a lot of press for it whoever you know was Publicizing it did a wonderful job great Great job. And it's a funny funny show. And I honestly, I don't watch a lot of comedy anymore. Yeah. It's not like... Comedians, we don't do this anymore. I told you I want to see spy shit. Yeah. You know, I want to see slow horses. Except for that fucking Mick Jagger theme song. Jesus Christ. How much money does Apple have that they're just throwing money away at? Mick Jagger.

It's like the end of these awesome spy shows come and then it's like there's some music and then you hear, strange dies. It's like having your grandma show up on a date. Anyhow, what's down the road for you? I'm on tour, I'm doing standup. Hopefully until we find out about season 2 where can people find that out? They can find that out on my Instagram Instagram at Ali comedy a oh I comedy all my dates are there and So I'm excited about that. Hopefully gonna do a special

Ideally would like to just stay on the road until we get a season 2 right shooting saves on rent Yeah, he saves on rent. And then I can put that special out while I'm shooting, whatever. And so doing that, sending in some, if I might say so myself, I'm sending in some self tapes. Some incredible self tapes.

I don't want to Hollywood you guys right now, but I have been videotaping myself in my living room. Oh, I have too. When I make Sean read with me because my wife is not good at it. And so, yeah, we often have to go up. If it's like if it's an important one, I make Sean. We go up to the conference room. Now, Sean, do you do you do you get into it?

You put on a voice. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes it's too good. I have to be like, no, no, this I'm the one. Hey, man. Yeah, yeah. Come on turn down the charm fucker So that yeah stand up and then yeah, everything we're doing right now is just you know We're not stopping until we get that season too. So we're really excited and thank you for watching by the way Oh, it's a very funny show and I really enjoy it Well, what what do you think what advice would you give somebody?

I don't know, just what you've learned in life or in work or where you're at right now. I would tell them to just make it. I mean, I'm still dealing with this now. You mean make it big. Make it big. Just make it, fucker. Just become famous. Come on, what the fuck? Why don't, what about having famous parents do you not understand?

Just do it. Yeah, you go from exact illegal exotic bird breeding to having an agent Yeah, what's going on here with you? Yeah, I would say just do I mean a lot of like I really want to get into like Like directing now. Yeah, and Because I've just I wanna wear a scarf, but I haven't found a way to do it. Oh, and you get that. That's appropriate for indoors. Yeah, you get that megaphone, that like,

sort of cheerleader megaphone. Yeah, I'm gonna be the megaphone guy. Yeah, you know how like Nolan has the monitor? I'm not doing that. No, no. With the lens, I'm going full megaphone. Yep. And I'm gonna use it at the DP,

and I'm gonna be like, what does the shot look like? And they can say it. I wanna widescreen on a neck brace instead of like a little monitor around my neck. Yeah, Andy brings a full Vizio, 42 inch Vizio around his neck. I want to end up unable to walk because of my director's monitors, too painful.

So I would say just make the thing that you wanna do, just do it, make the shitty version of it because even when, while you're doing it, you're going to learn. Like if I was, like the difference between me and people who are like, oh my god, I could never do stand up. And I'm like, yeah, you can. You just don't want to go through the torture of going up and doing the thing.

But just by time, you'll get good at it. That is often the difference between people that are doing it and people that aren't doing it. I just did it when people were like, you're good at stand-up. And I go, I'm not. I just did it 10 years longer than you did. I'm good at keeping doing it. That's all it was. I was just way more free than you were. Right, right, right.

I have no shame. Yeah, yeah. I don't take notes. I just keep going forward. Make the things and then find find ideally, if you can, just like find people that like the same shit that you like and just make stuff just for making stuff. Don't make it to like go viral, all that bullshit,

because you're gonna learn just out of making stuff and you're saving money. If you look at it like, oh, film school or whatever, Yeah. You know if you were learning how to cook you don't make one dish and be mediocre and be like I hate cooking. Right right. Never again. I'm done with this shit. I'm never making grilled cheese ever again. It's like no you're gonna keep going. That's just what what it is. So I find like a lot of people when they ask me about like I get asked by a lot of like guys who are like you know what's so funny it's like when I got by a lot of like guys who are like you know what's

so funny it's like when I got into acting and stuff like all my cousins be like dude your DMs must be crazy dude and I go let me tell you what my DMs are my DMs are two things Andy my DMs are guys asking me very pointedly if I'm Indian or Pakistani and that's their first question right brother are you Indian or Pakistani yeah and the energy right. They're like, brother, are you Indian or Pakistani? Yeah, yeah. And the energy feels like they're like, right, they're like their follower unfollow is hugely determined on the answer.

Definitely, definitely a right and wrong answer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This isn't a hey, whatever, it's all love here kind of thing. And then the second one is people who are like felt like they ended up you know in like a professional job and they feel like oh I never got to like experience the arts in any sort of way and can you give me some advice on how to get into it like a lot of people are like how do I get into a put me in a Marvel movie that's the craziest thing yeah put me in a Marvel movie and I'm'm like, if I had that power, I would be Iron Man.

What the hell are you talking about right now? I've had people say like, hey, can you help me get my novel published? How the fuck am I gonna do that? I can't help you get your building built either or your airplane design. But I tell them like, just go make stuff. And I'm like, go make stuff.

I'll watch it. DM me your short film or your sketch or whatever. And that never happens. And I think that really is like the difference of like people who just do it and people who don't. Well Asaf Ali, thank you so much for coming in. Thank you. This is a dream. This has really been a great talk and everybody out there should be watching Deli Boys. Please. And that's it.

Thanks for having me, I'm such a big fan. I'm sure our paths will cross again. They better, honestly. And thanks for listening, and we'll be back next week with more of The Three Questions. The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco production. It is produced by Sean Doherty

and engineered by Rich Garcia. Additional engineering support by Eduardo Perez and Joanna Samuel. Executive produced by Nick Leow, Adam Sacks, and Jeff Ross. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Battista, with assistance from Maddy Ogden. Research by Alyssa Grahl. Don't forget to rate and review and subscribe

to The Three Questions with Andy Richter, wherever you get your podcasts. And do you have a favorite question you always like to ask people? Let us know in the review section. Can't you tell my love's a-growing? Can't you feel it ain't a-showin'? Oh, you must be a-knowin'. I've got a big, big love...

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