The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Asif Ali: Spooky Halloween Stories (The Andy Richter Call-In Show)

Episode Date: November 7, 2025

Actor and comedian Asif Ali from "WandaVision" and "Deli Boys" joins "The Andy Richter Call-In Show" this week to hear your SPOOKY HALLOWEEN STORIES! Plus, Andy continues on "Dancing with the Stars!"Want to call in to a future episode? Fill out our Google Form at BIT.LY/CALLANDYRICHTER or dial 855-266-2604.  Tell us your favorite dinner party story or ask a question.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Conan O'Brien Radio Conan O'Brien Radio. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's right. Yeah, you got to have that. Oh, yeah, yeah. Welcome to the Halloween edition.

of the Andy Richter Call-In Show. My voice is still spooky. Sorry, guys. Got a loss in gin. But it's going to be a good one. Spooky stories, ghost shit. I'm terrified. Listen, last time we did this,

there was one that gave me chills, like literal chills. And I'm very manly. I'm very hard to scare. There's something about your turquoise shirt that just screams that right now. Thank you. Yeah, yeah.

Yes. I mean, I'm not afraid of color. Uh, on the, uh, the other voice you hear is, uh, Sifa Lee, uh, he's a comedian and, you know, I'm from Delhi boys, of course. Yes, yes, yes. I can see him coming soon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How, when's it coming out? Uh, probably late in 26. Oh, good. Start shooting in December. Oh, okay. Oh, that's a lag. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a, it's a, it's a crazy show. I love that show. It's really funny and just absolutely nuts. Thank you. Thank you. Also, uh, Juan, division and shrinking.

Yes. Yeah, nice. I'm doing okay. Look at you. Yeah, yeah. I'm surviving the spooky industry of Hollywood. Well, now, forgive my cultural ignorance. Yes.

But is there an Eastern, East Asian Halloween tradition of any kind? No, frankly, there is not. And, you know. For, American. Yeah, Diwali just happened, which is a festival of light over darkness, which is kind of interesting that happens close to Halloween, which is darkness taking over the light. I think, well, you know what, there are all those kind of, like, they're all based on people, you know, just freaked out about the sky. Essentially.

Yeah, yeah. It's good and cold. There weren't street lights. Yeah. People were like, what's even going on two blocks from here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, but it is like kind of, it's like, you know, there's different sort of midwinter festivals. Yes.

You know, that are sort of like an analog for Christmas. Did you watch Mid-Summer? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, God. It's great. What a wild ass. I love that movie. But that kind of stuff, like the harvesty kind of changing from seasons and stuff like that.

It's mostly around farming, it seems like. And also being scared that winter won't stop. Please. We'll never have wheat again. Don't make it winter all the time, guy in the sky. Yeah. Well, but growing up here Oh, we got so locked in the Halloween

There's kids who didn't have it Our parents did not understand it Which was kind of fun They didn't mind it though They didn't mind it They were just like what is this I mean on paper it is kind of an odd thing That the whole year you tell people

You tell children not to talk to anybody They don't know Don't get involved in other people's business And then one night Go easy on the candy Yes yes and then one night you dress up and then so you're almost unidentifiable and then mix in with a bunch of other children and then just go out.

Yeah. We actually were going out without parental supervision pretty early. Yeah. They just were like, oh, I guess, okay, I guess if all the other kids are doing it, then I guess it's fine. Right. And it depends on your neighborhood, too, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And our costumes were kind of weird.

I think one year we did, we all did. There was this old movie called Dead Presidents with Marlonne. And as like children, we all did like rubber masks, right? No, no, no. We did, it's like they did like this black and white almost like clownish makeup. Yeah, yeah. And we did that. And I remember parents being like, what is that?

Are you guys like clowns? And my oldest brother is like, no, we're the guys from dead presidents. And I remember the husband of the couple being like, I think that movie's like rated art. Like I think Marlon Wayne's dies at the end of the movie, like of like a drug overdose or whatever. Yeah. But my brother was like, oh, easy costume. Because it's just face paint. Sure, of course.

Easy. Spider-Man's a whole outfit. We can't afford that. You could tell him, too. Well, the movie was scary. It was a terrifying movie. It was scary. Mental health is the scariest thing.

Well, now, how about ghosty stuff? Have you ever had any kind of ghosty experiences? You know, I am so bummed that ghosts have not visited me. They have not interacted with me. They have made no sort of effort in reaching out to me. I'm at my place. I travel. I'm on the road.

plenty of opportunities for you to reach out to me. Right. And it just has not, has not happened. And I go to sleep pretty late, which I feel like are ghost hours. Right, exactly. I'm up at 3 o'clock in the morning. Where are you? That's their work day. Yeah. Ghosts are not really happening in the daytime. No. So I'm like, I'm up all night. Yeah. Come get me. But maybe they can just sense like, like you were saying earlier, that we're just so, we're two alphas. And they just don't want anything to do with this. Have you ever stayed in a very supposedly haunted place and been disappointed? Well, I perform at the comedy store almost every night, and that's

supposedly very deeply haunted. Is it really? Wow. What do people see there? Apparently there are... Ghosts doing cocaine? Light stuff. Yeah, ghosts working on their set, like pacing. Being like, you think I'll get the Tonight Show? But yeah, there's like the mob. It used to be like Ceros, which was like this mob-owned. right that's right like you know big band music yeah yeah and so the mob was running that

they were saying that there used to be like underground abortions taking place in that building they could have done them on the second floor and and there's just like a a haunted vibe that when you ask some of the like employees that you know that work there who were there like weird hours they're like yeah yeah yeah i mean it is the vibe is weird yeah so i mean i don't know but they have not reached out to me at all and that really that really that really bothers me. Yeah. The only one, and I think I told it last time we did this show, the only thing that I've had that's even come close was after my grandfather died and I was nine, it wasn't too long afterwards. Yeah. But I was at my grandmother's house. Yeah. Watching TV and she had gone,

and it was in the middle of the day. Yeah. And she had gone to the grocery store. And I heard, And my grandfather would call my grandmother mommy. That was just the cute thing. Yeah, yeah. It's just he called her mommy. Yeah, yeah. And because he was very old, he was in a downstairs bedroom, kind of off the dining room. Yeah.

And I was watching TV, probably cranked up so fucking loud. And I heard him, I heard him say, Mommy, Mommy. And I just automatically said, she's at the store. and then went oh fuck he's dead and i ran right to the neighbors until i saw my grandmother's car come back and i don't i can't say for sure that it just wasn't some imagination thing you know with the the sound you know yeah but i i sure heard it enough to not think about he's called her twice he said mommy twice and then i said she's at the store and then got the fuck out of there Wow.

And now, and this thing, because that house that I grew up in, that house was the house that my grandfather was born in. He didn't die in it. But isn't that crazy back then? People would have houses that they were born in. Yeah, he was born in it. His father built the house when he lived his entire life there. Yeah. When he died, my family, my mom and my stepfather and my brother and my younger brother and sister and I, we moved in when we added on to it.

And we lived there, I don't know, for like 15 years. And then my mother and stepfather split up. And we moved somewhere else. We sold the old family host because they're just, we worked in a different town, you know, and it was just like, and it was sad. You know, another family owned it for maybe 35, 40 years. Now it's a del taco? No, no, no. No.

But another family owned it, just one family. Yeah. They sold it to a guy that went to high school with my brother. Oh, cool. And my brother, this guy contacted my brother and said, they didn't tell us, but apparently there's a little girl ghost that lives in your house. And he said, they said, they didn't tell us before he bought the house. And he said, and we've been here three months, and I've seen her twice.

And I never saw a little girl ghost. Your whole life. I know. I never saw it. And my brother figured out, and this is a very sad story, my grandfather's, first wife was a Christian scientist. At the time was a very sort of cultish religion that did not believe in modern medicine. And they had three children die. Because they wouldn't do like that. My mom says she thinks that somebody said it was like a milk allergy, but they just

wouldn't do anything about it. And two of them died in infancy, which I had known, I had known that they had had three children die. And that his first wife subsequently then went into a a mental hospital um but apparently the third child was a little girl who lived till an age of four and lived in that house and then died so that's like yeesh you know do you think maybe um maybe it was you that she just saw you and she's like yeah yeah well maybe she was just like she's like I'm not gonna haunt family I'm not gonna haunt this game yeah I'm not gonna fuck with family give him a chance I'll come out and you know and and and apparently it was always like a very playful like she wanted to play

which is sad to itself but it wasn't like I'm gonna yeah yeah no no no it was just like oh there's a little girl that wants to play and yeah and it's just it's uh that's devastating it is it's really sad also that they did the people who

bought it feel like oh did you guys keep this from us or are they like hey FYI they never they never well I mean the the family that bought it never said anything to us and apparently they said They only saw her a few times over those decades that they owned the house. Whereas this new guy was like, yeah, I've seen her twice already.

Do you think that if you, you know, if you ever become a ghost, what would be your location that you would haunt? Would it be this place? Would it be Sirius X-M? The ghost of the coffee machine. Gosh, I don't know. I would. You have some good options. Yeah.

You have East Coast. Right. You can float all the way over there. I could do Rockefeller Center. I worked there for a while. That would be fun. On the halls there. Yeah, yeah.

A little pathetic. A little pathetic. Yeah, yeah. Because, you know, this is a number of years ago. It's a long time. Yeah, yeah. I could do Warner Brothers. Oh, Warner Brothers would be good.

Yeah, yeah. Warner Brothers are doing their little go-kart tours. Right, right. You can kind of spook them out a little bit. Right, exactly. Or I could just do like the CVS on a Royal Parkway. And that's what I'm talking about. There's not enough retail ghosts.

A lot of it is, you know, homes. That's what I'm talking about. Finally. Finally. There's not enough retail goes. I want to go to CVS or Dwayne Reed or something like that and just get absolutely terrified on Isle 12. Scared shitless.

Drop your robitussin and run. All right, let's go to the phones. First up, we have Kimber from Colorado. Kimber, are you there? Hi, Andy. Hi, you got me and Aisif here. Hi, Kimber. How are you?

Waiting to hear your spooky story. Good, good. Yeah, so I grew up in a home. haunted house. It was, like, legit, haunted to the point where we were actually on a TV show for it. Wow. Nice. Yeah. But one of like the big stories that I remember was when I was about seven, my family, we were just eating dinner. My brother and I always sat at a bar top counter and my mom would eat on the couch. It was like pretty stormy day. And all of a sudden there was this really tall. all like over six foot black and white blur and it ran through our kitchen, it ran right past me and my brother and then just like vanished into our garage.

The goddamn slender man? Yeah. Literally. It was like the flash, but make it black and white in my house. It blew out our kitchen light. And I just remember looking at my brother and I was like, did you just see what I saw? And he just, he was in shock. And like there are so many other stories that I have.

have one time I was in the basement, um, changing a toilet seat with my mom in a basement fast. Before you move on, I just, I just, uh, no, just because I don't, I don't want to move on without asking like, yeah, when you say a blur, like, can you describe it? Like, was it like a cloud or was it like, when you say a blur, was it like something running by so fast that it was kind of, you know, like a animated, you know, no, no, no, no structure, just like lines or whatever. Yeah, it was, it, it really, it really.

was a blur it didn't really have like the shape of anything yeah um and like a fast moving cloud essentially yeah it wasn't like seen through or anything like that but it it was just like zoom through our kitchen and it was really tall it i would say it was over six foot but it was like mostly white with like black strips through it like if you imagine when the flash is running yeah yeah yeah that's what i was thinking of yeah dang wow It was crazy. And it turned off a, it shut off a bulb, essentially, with the speed? It completely blew out the bulb.

Wow. Shit. The bulb. Wow. And we have like an older house. It's an older bulb. It was the ones where if you crack them, they release that gas or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A cancer bulb. Like a fluorescent tube. Yeah, exactly. Now, now, was there a change in temperature? You know, they always say it gets cold? I really didn't know. notice any. I mean, I was kind of distracted. I was pigging out on my dinner, but yeah, I felt like the normal house. Yeah. I'll worry about that later. Yeah. Chomp. Well, okay, now, Finn, tell the other part. I'm sorry you interrupted. No, you were totally fine. There was another story. It was later, I was 17 helping my mom change one of the toilet seats in our basement bathroom, which our basement was like the most active for ghost interactions and just spooky feelings. Of course, it's a basement.

Yeah, where else are they going to hang out? You walk down those stairs, the hair on your neck starts to stand up. Yeah, yeah. But we were doing that, and I was underneath the toilet, unscruing it, and all of a sudden this thing just comes flying through the hallway into the bathroom where we work, and it was like somebody was aiming it at our head. What do you mean?

There was something that was thrown across the room. And it was very clearly aimed at our head. We didn't see anything like throw it. I mean, we weren't really looking in the direction of that. What is the it? It was a screw. Wow. So a ghost was like.

Yeah. The ghost had like terrible aim or something. And it didn't hit us. It hit the wall. But we were like, what was that? And then we were looking on the floor. It was a very sharp screw. Maybe it was trying to be helpful and just didn't know home repair very well.

You might need this. Yeah. Maybe I wanted some friends. Yeah, yeah. Maybe. I couldn't help. Dang. Wow.

And did you guys finish changing the toilet seat? You guys were unfazed at that point? We did very quickly finish that and they got out of the basement. Wow. And so you guys were just totally used to ghost being in the house of like, it is what it is. We're going to fix this thing. And like, would you guys tell people that would come over like, hey, just FYI, this place is haunted. So if something happens, it's, you know.

Yeah. I mean, once we kind of started to realize. that it wasn't just like my mom experiencing these things or me and my brother we'd have people come over my aunt once came over and she actually saw our great grandmother who has passed away she's been long gone since I was little um like standing underneath our stairs in the basement wow they always pick the weirdest places to hang out yeah yeah yeah one at the front door yeah yeah just so they can maybe accept packages or something in the backyard yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Be in the backyard.

Sit at the kitchen table for a minute. What the hell? Why are we in a rush? Yeah. You know? This is a question that I often think up to with people with, you know, like really haunted houses. Does it make you like, does it make sitting on the toilet uncomfortable because you feel like you're never alone? I mean, it's sturdy.

They were doing, they were doing homework. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless maybe a ghost scared you off the toilet. and it broke the seat. I mean, yeah, honestly, when we were little, my brother didn't want to go upstairs alone. We still, to this day, like, don't go into the basement alone. And my childhood bathroom is right across from what's now my mom's office or my brother's room growing up.

And that is just another place in a house where you just, you walk in and the energy is just, it's bad. Yeah. You can feel it. It kind of makes you queasy. You can, it just feels like somebody's watching you. Yeah. So quite literally when I was on the toilet growing up, it felt like something was kind of looming over or watching.

So I always made sure that door was closed. Yeah, yeah. Just, yeah. Ew. Damn. Definitely shaped the way I see things now. Like I can visit hotels or things like that. And you can kind of just sense if there's like a ghost or just.

I like to describe it as energy. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had experiences at Disney hotels at the Stanley, at hotels in Vegas, where you just, something bad has happened. Do you think that if you became a ghost, where would you want to haunt? I don't, I don't know. Maybe I would go to my childhood home.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, get in that basement. Kind of get to know the ghosts that are there. That's what I'm talking about. That's nice. We've met before, but we never really chatted. Hey, it's me, Kimmer. Remember you threw a screw at me? Oh. Was there ever any consideration of selling the house and getting out of there? Not really.

For us, we just financially growing up, I had a single mother that wasn't really like an option for us. In this economy? If you had the home before us, nobody stayed there. longer than two years. Wow. Wow. Yeah, and we've had that home for over 20 years now. Wow. I bet those ghosts respect to you guys. Yeah. They were probably trying to scare you guys out and they're like, nah, these guys are staying here. They're hanging. Yeah, they're hanging. All right, well, Kimber, thank you so much.

Of course, thank you. All right. Thank you so much. Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween. I don't think I told us the phone number. 855-266-2.4 is the number. If you got a scary story. Next up, we have, I think, an anonymous call? Or is it Gabriel from Texas? Gabriel? This is Gabriel from Texas. Angel Gabriel.

That's a very good Halloween name. Yeah. Yeah. I appreciate it. Thanks. And also, like, thank you for having me on, Andy. Hello, Austin. Hey, dude.

Good talking to you both. Likewise. Yeah. Hey, happy Halloween, guys. Thanks, man. So what's up, dude? What's, you got, you got some ghost encounters? Oh, gosh, have I ever?

All right. I'm actually getting chills thinking about this. You know, let's go and get right to it. So, this was something that happened years ago. My dad, at the time, was living with his girlfriend. Nice. And so, yeah. So they live at her house.

And at that time, she also had her elderly father living there with her. So clearly, they were doing some kind of like a sitcom situation where, you know, it's the lady with the dad. Yes, yes, yes, of course, of course. So, well, so while they were dating her dad, unfortunately, he had passed away. And from there, I would say it's passed forward about maybe a few weeks or so, a month after the fact. I decided to go visit my dad when I get there. He's outside pruning one of the trees, just doing some light yard work. So I see him doing this.

I'm like, hey, dad, do you need any help with anything? And he said, yeah, you know what? Go inside the house and to get him a pair of garden blood. I said, sure, sure, no problem. Now, important note here, this house that they were staying at had two entrances, Of course, it had the main front door and then had the side door. Uh-huh. The side door, yeah, the side door, as it turns out, it went directly into dearly departed former bedroom.

And then from there, it went straight to the direct to the house. So we got that clear, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Now, the gloves were in his bedroom. So I go in, and the room is in disarray. I guess they were still figuring out what they were going to do with his stuff. So a bunch of boxes and whatnot, have you.

But in addition to that, so in the room was the bed along with a dresser. And hanging above the dresser was a wall mirror. So, you know, just to get a basic idea here. Sure. And the gloves, so the gloves, they were on the dresser. So I walk over to the dresser. I grab the gloves. and as I'm heading out, I catch a brief glimpse of the mirror.

Now, for a split second, I saw a reflection in the mirror, and it was not mine. Oh, God, damn. Wow. Yeah. That means you're haunted. It's not the house. It's you. You got an old man living in you.

I'm the ghost, no. What was he doing? So, no, it was, it was an elderly gentleman just scowling at me. Like, it was, and again, yeah, it was just a brief moment that I saw this, this older gentleman just looking at me with this, like, visceral, uh, unwelcoming look. Yeah, like a get your own gloves kind of look. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm like, hey, you know, I'm just, uh, we're just doing some gardening here, you know, but, uh, but no.

So now, I never got to meet my dad, girlfriend. that you know so i don't know if it was him or if i was just imagining yeah sure but now that you got me thinking about it yeah now that y'all got me thinking about it he kind of reminded me of an angry a pagoda oh wow wow so that's just yeah it's just uh you just picture the features the the curly gray hair yeah the the the fixated eyes yeah yeah so So after the fact, I'm there like just paralyzed, like a few seconds. I think I gave out like a Ralph Wiggum. I'm in danger, chuckle.

And then I just muttered, I'm just passing through. And then I note the hell out of there. So, wow, that was one of my many freaking instances. Do you tell your dad? Do you tell your dad like, hey, I just, you know, your father-in-law or whatever? Yeah. I just thought like your father or not. No, no, no. I never got around to telling him that. Oh, wow. Huh? I mean, I know I just said, oh, wow. I mean, I would have been like, hey, dad, I just saw the dead guy. Yeah. You know? I should, but you know what? I think maybe those trees are just on my mind a little bit more. I don't know.

And did you feel like, okay, right when you saw the reflection, was it? Is it immediate of like, oh, no, that's bad. There's a ghost or something going on here. No, no, absolutely. Like, I saw that, and I was just like, whoa, like, hold on a second. That's not me. I mean, I don't think it's me. Yeah, yeah.

And do you think, like, since then, was that the first time you had seen a ghost? No, actually. I've seen most of the stuff that I think I've seen, it's been in my, my childhood home. It seems to be a recurring thing. Yeah, yeah. Right. I mean, it's almost always, yeah, it's something with the childhood that brings up to paranormal.

Yeah. And everyone's ever seen. I have no idea what that's about that. Who are you seeing in the childhood home? What kind of goes? No, so when, so back when we had just moved into my mom's house, I remember being in bed, just one night and waking up, middle of night for whatever reason and everything was dark pitch black no nightlights maybe

some ambient light from from outside but i could have sworn that i saw this this towering hooded figure just looking at me right um like a wizard kind of vibe or like a grim reapery type vibe no very reapery yes yeah like very reapery like it was just the shape you know no sickle no sigh, no nothing. Sure, sure, sure. I think he had like a water gun.

No, I'm kidding. No, I just thought I saw the hood of figure and, you know, naturally I freaked out. You have the sleep paralysis. They say that. You get all kinds of elaborate hallucinations. But I saw that and then it felt real. And then I wasn't the only one

living here at the time who saw it. My sister, my younger sister, says she thought also and that there's helpful there's yeah and so we've seen that and then since then then growing up through my high school years I would see him occasionally yeah those times after that were not nearly as intense I would wake up and I see him I'm like oh do your thing I just turn over oh yeah this seems to be like the common thing like if you don't freak out that much then it's not a big deal yeah yeah all thank you for the call gabriel yeah no again thank y'all for having me uh congrats on y'all's success and i'll see this again soon how to good

thanks so much yeah call again sometime uh all right 855 2662604 is the number we've got joan from long island hi joan you got and asaph and hi hi this call is being recorded oh this call's being recorded. Oh, my God, Joe. What the fuck are you doing, Joan? I am not going to court for you, Joan. We're being served. Huh? He said your call's being recorded. Oh, I got a, oh, my call is no longer being recorded. All right, there we go. Thank you, Joan. Somebody at the door to court, and she told me to record the call. I don't realize. You can't if you want. We're just kidding. We're good. We're good. How are you? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Then I'm recorded.

Please go for it. This isn't as as everybody else's everybody else's but I'm my dad passed and when I was 26 and he was like this fantastic guy

like seriously he was only six he was really sad. But we're Jewish so we were sitting Shiva and I was at my mom's house and I was like so sad and I didn't want to be there crying so. I went upstairs into their bedroom and It was dark, totally dark, light were off, all the shades were down.

And I was saying, I wish you were here, Dad, I wish you were here, and I was crying. And all of a sudden, this light appeared on, like, the accordion door of their closet. And I really felt like it was him. But I was very skeptical, and I didn't believe in any of that. So, but as time passed, it really felt real to me, like, so I kept going to my mom's house and say, well, maybe the light was shining in from the neighbors. And I kept trying to recreate scenarios where it might have been. And there was no way.

Yeah. It was anything but him. And they say, you know, the soul of the person who deceased hangs around, hovers over the house of Shiva, where you said Shiva. And I do believe it was him. And I think he was trying to give me, like, comfort. Yeah, yeah. Like, I'm here. Yeah.

That's so sweet. Before, and then, but then the idea is then they move on, correct? Yes, then they move on. It's up in heaven. Well, it's like they throw a party for you, and you want to be there for the party they're throwing. And let everybody know, like, hey, I appreciate this party. You guys went out. Thanks, guys.

Yeah. That's it. Yeah. Well, that's a, that's. I don't think it's Halloween, but. No, it's a beautiful. I mean, it's, it's a little spooky. Yeah.

But it's, it's a nice spooky. It's nice spooky. Yeah. And I, I kept going up there, dad, dad. And it didn't happen again. Yeah, yeah. Like they say, the old was hanging around the house of Shiva and then,

ooh, now it's up and happen. Do you, does someone in your family still live in that house? No, my mom sold it probably in the 90s sometime, but, yeah, so I don't know. And we tried to go there, and I was a teacher for many years in Dutch and Queens, which I don't know, but it's a lot of Asian. And I had some Chinese students. Anyway, the people who moved into her house in Bayside Queens were Chinese. So I knew a smidge of Chinese, and I was communicating with them a little bit.

Yeah. Because they let us, we had a street, 231st Street reunion. We went back into the house. But they let us in. I was communicating a little bit, but I don't think I knew the word for ghosts. In Chinese. Right, right. Wow.

All right. Well, Joan, thank you so much for the call. And enjoy the dog park. What a nice day. Yeah. I love, listen, I love your show. Thank you. And I'm grateful, Pete. He's the best.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. All right. Moving on. We got Tom from Illinois. Tom. How are you doing?

I'm doing fine, Tom. How are you doing, Andy? What's up? So I've got a good story for you. Okay. Oh, here we go. This is what I'm talking about. So about 20 years ago, I would go to this farm. farmhouse out in the boonies and Manuka.

Uh-huh. To go drinking and, uh, they're, the, the stomping grounds of a young Nick Offerman. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. My mom, my mom actually, uh, worked with his mom. Oh, really?

Yeah. He's Manooka's finest. Wow. They go to New York every couple of months together. Oh, that's great. That's great. Okay, so anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So anyhow, so I would go to this house to, you know, young 20, drink or, you know, drink and, you know, enjoy my time. Get there one night and there are, the bonfires going and we get told that, hey, you know, some of the people that live here are in the house messing around with the Ouija board. Uh-oh. And I'm like, okay, so I go inside and they're, you know, talking to the whatever, you know, is coming through. and one of the guys is sort of like not believing what's going on and he's sort of like you know messing around with the ghost and not you know just not being respectful and in horror movie terms that's the guy that's going to get killed

100% yeah yeah have some respect if you don't want to get skewered yes so night goes on and they stop you know using the Ouija board and at one point I'd go into the house because we realize everybody's outside except for one person So I go inside and I talk to this girl And I'm like, hey, you need to come outside You know, everybody's outside

And she goes, I can't And I'm like, why? And she goes, because I died here. What the hell? What the fuck? And then you tried to make out with her? That's so weird, Tom You've always been a dog time.

So I get her outside and, you know, the night goes, you know, by again. Yeah. And got to go back inside again to use the bathroom or whatever. And three of us are going in the door. And it feels like something just like punched all the air out of our lungs. Whoa. Wait, go back. This woman was an actual human being, a human woman who said,

because I died here, but then you left with her. Was it somebody you knew? No, we, we went out, I got her to go outside because I wanted to come outside because, like, everybody's outside. Right. You know, and you didn't know her. No, didn't know her. I, you know, may have met her another time I'd been at the house. Okay, okay.

But it's a real woman. Oh, it's a real woman. Oh, okay. Her nickname was Willow because Buffy the Vampire Slayer was at the time. Gotcha, gotcha, got it. Okay, okay, okay, okay. So, later in the night, I'm sitting on a lazy chair by the door, and I close, I got my eyes closed.

I'm not drinking at this point because there's some, it's been a weird night, and I'm like, I don't need to add booze to this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I close my eyes, and I see this red door with this, like, screaming face coming out of it, and I'm like, oh, what the fuck? And then later in the night, they take the weird, regie board and burn it in the bonfire. Whoa, this is like a movie.

They took the Ouija board and threw it in the fire. Yeah, yeah. Willow insisted. And it burns like neon purple and neon green. Wow. No. Yes. I will remember this to the day I die.

I remember sitting. I'm watching the bonfire with the Ouija board and these strange colors and whatever. So needless to say, I stay there for the, you know, the whole night because strange stuff was happening and um one of the people that lived there was like a druid so like he apparently did some like cleansing thing afterwards what exactly is a druid it's kind of like a wickin but i think they're more tree and moon oriented yeah yeah okay got so um cut till about um 10 years later and i'm talking to my mom about it i told her about it afterwards And I'm with the friend that I went to the house that night, and we're sort of reminiscing about the story.

And I bring up the face. Yeah. And my friend goes, and I realized at that point I hadn't told her that. She goes, was it a red door with the face coming out of it? She had seen the same thing that night. Like just as a vision, as a quick vision in her mind? Yeah. Wow.

Yeah. Two years later, two years later after this bonfire, this Ouija board, the house mysteriously burned down. Oh. Damn. Well, that could have just, you know. I mean, the party houses. That could have been Nick Offerman. Yeah, party houses.

But my aunt, I told her about it like maybe a couple months afterwards, and she's like, she just goes, oh, you know, there used to be a house when I was. small in Manuka that they used to do, like, devil ceremonies at. Come on. So it could have been that house. Come on. Yeah, you know, every town in Illinois has one. Every neighborhood must have one. That's true.

And that's my huge problem with real estate development now, modern real estate development. There isn't, like, sort of a devil house. Yeah, come on. Yeah, come on. I mean, because that, you know. They don't have that page on the realtor. Right, right, right. It's such a bummer because in all, yeah.

Yeah, because where are those vibes going to go? It's very tricky because it's a niche. So it's like some people will pay a premium, others will insist on a discount. I'd rather have a house where I know in the neighborhood, all the ghosts and dark, they're all hanging out of that house. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead of bothering me. Right, exactly. They have a hangout.

They have their YMCA essentially. Why don't you go over to the Williams's? Leave me alone. All right, well, Tom, thank you for that spooky story. No problem. And happy birthday, Adam. Oh, thank you, thank you. It was my birthday yesterday.

Oh, my God, happy birthday. Thank you, thank you. What a spooky time of year to have a birthday. I know. It's not bad. Yeah. It's always been kind of fun. There's always candy around.

Yeah. Always loose candy around. Yeah, sure. You know, piles of it. 855-266-2604. If you want to try and get in here for the end of the show, we're listening to spooky stories. And I got Stephen on the line. From Portland, Portland, Maine or Oregon?

What is going on, gentlemen? Hey. Maine or Oregon? Oregon. Yeah, it had to be Oregon. Well, you know. Yeah, we are currently on fire and underseed here. Yes, yes.

My God. I can hear the bombs going off in the background. Oh, God, save Portland. You get just enough time to call the Richard Collins show. He had to leave the front lines to tell a ghost. Somebody in a frog costume just threw a Molotov And I thought, well, I've actually got a spooky story. Hold on a second.

I'm feeling crazy. No, okay. So my story is in 1998, it was in this band. We graduated from high school and we all have this great idea that we're getting. This is another farmhouse story, by the way. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Nothing creepier.

We lived in Dubuque, Iowa. So instead of going to college, we all decided we were going to move out to this farmhouse. and give it a go with the band. Yeah, yeah. Rehearse all the time. Oh, that's kind of cool. Oh, yeah. 500 bucks a month. Nice. He moved way out to this place called Zwingle

where there's a population of 250 people. And apparently the place was haunted. Now, everybody else in the band had had experiences that I did not share with them. Like, in the middle of the night, they saw people moving up and down the hallways. But supposedly, there was this elderly lady that would appear through the window.

I never saw any of this shit, right? Groupies. That's what happens when you get a band, dude. Yep. That's right. Old groupies. Probably too sober. I don't know.

But we had a crazy snowstorm one day. And just myself and the keyboardist in the band, we didn't have to work that day. So we were out at the farmhouse. And we got, it was probably 12 inches of snow. It was drifting. There was no way in or out of this farmhouse. So we were basically there for the whole weekend. And there certainly wasn't anybody plowing.

And that one. And your roommates are just stuck somewhere else. They just got to go somewhere else. Yeah, they're stuck in town. So they're having to go sleep back at their old house and their old bedrooms or whatever. But we were at this farmhouse where we had been practicing. So we were out there by ourselves. Whoa.

And we are watching, I'll never forget it. We're watching the Maltese Vulcan in the middle of the night, just a couple of a hard partier. Yeah, yeah. Way to go. Rock and roll, man. I hear this crash from the kitchen, which is just adjacent from the living room. We walk into the living room and we see that all of the windows in the kitchen have shattered. What the fuck?

And the fluorescent lice tubes had fallen from the ceiling and there was glass everywhere in the kitchen. It was a complete mess. The wind and snow was a cold as fuck, yeah. Oh, my God. And they're still to this day, it is the only example of anything supernatural that I've ever experienced. There's no explanation for it whatsoever. You know, we spent the rest of the night cleaning up that kitchen and putting plastic up. Yeah, sure.

Trash bags and everything that we had. So eventually, I did have to admit to everybody that I did, I guess, believe that the house was haunted, even though I didn't believe in such things. Yeah. Dang, what was the vibe when that happened? I mean, it was just the two of us. knew that there wasn't, you know, nobody else was going to be joining us later. And I think most of the time we were like, I don't think anybody else will ever believe that this happened, you know?

Yeah. But then we weren't like the hard partiers of the band, so I don't think anybody would have thought we would have gotten so rip roaring. Right, right. Just started taking out the windows. Tripping balls. Now, how many windows was it? Yeah. It would, I mean, it was about four windows. That's a lot of windows. Wow. Yeah, because even if it was just some... And the light fixture above the kitchen table. Yeah, yeah.

No, because even if it was like some sort of, you know, like, well, it was probably wind flow and it created a vacuum and, you know, and then the pressure, you know, not four of them, I would think. Now, I think that was immediately ruled out. Yeah, yeah. We knew something else was firmly at play here. And, yeah, I mean, I think it just, it just was, it's the only time that anything like that. that has ever happened to me before since, and I, you know, I've never been able to have an explanation for it. Well, you got a cool story out of it. Dang, dude. And how did you like the movie, um, how did you like the movie, the Maltese

Falcon? Did you enjoy it? Oh, my God. I mean, that wasn't the first time we had seen it. I love that movie so much. Yeah, yeah. And what was the name of the band? The name of the band was Nat Love. Nat Love. Nat Love. Yeah. Yeah, named after the famous folk hero, the Native African-American cowboy, Nat Love. Oh, wow. Nice. Oh. If you haven't read the Adventures of Deadwood Dick,

you really need to. All right. Sounds sexy. It's on the list. Sounds good. All right, thank you, Stephen. Well, thanks for having me on this show. I'm a huge fan of both y'all. Thank you so much. Thank you, man. All right, we got time for one more. Amber from Salt Lake City. Probably a very haunted town, I bet.

Well, unfortunately, my story doesn't take place. in Salt Lake City. Oh, that's okay. Dang it, Amber. Come on. That's all right. I know. It is a super haunted town, though. I had friends that used to go ghost hunting here a lot. Really? Known as a hurry hunt. Yes. Apparently, Ogden, Utah, the hot spot for lots of ghosts. Cool. Yeah, say, hey, real quick, I just wanted to throw in. I absolutely love you, and I'm so happy that you're still on dancing with the stars. Oh, thank you so much.

Come on. Thank you so much. You're the best part of the show, and you're one of the only reasons I'm watching this year. Oh, gosh. Thank you so much. No, it's really fun. Yes. So my story takes place in San Francisco. It's a crazy story. And my two is probably the only time I've ever had a super natural experience that I could speak of. We were visiting a friend who worked for a like a thumb radio. It was called Thump Radio. They did raves and DJ events. And they would broadcast from an old mansion in San Francisco because it had a really high like balcony that they could broadcast from. Well, it turned out this old mansion was formerly owned by Michael DeVay, who I believe was the leader of the Satanic, or the Church of St. Oh, it's Anton Lulvay. Andy, why do you know so much about this? Yeah, yeah. Huh? Nothing. Hail Satan. Just continue. Yeah. So they had warned of this, and the cute part of the story is my friend, Michael, we're hosting a DJ from Germany. It was this cool DJ and his girlfriend from Germany. They didn't speak any English. So it's kind of one of those after-party things. They're like, let's go out of this mansion. We'll watch the sunrise on the top. I was like, okay, that sounds fun. So we gave to the mansion. It was owned by one of their cute. gay friends who had decided to leave it completely in the 1900, like, or whatever it was when it was previously owned. Super creepy. I can't even describe you, like, going up to the

attic, how, like, all these weird. It was like going into, like, the haunted mansion, but a real place. We get to the top floor where the, they've got these windows all around that you can see the sunrise, and we're kind of visiting. We're in this, like, circular pattern of chairs and stuff. We're talking, and all of a sudden, I hear this horrible, like, whispery, like, it sounds like people behind me are just like, shh-shch, behind me. And I look at my husband, and I was like, oh my gosh, do you hear that? And he kind of gives me this look like, don't say anything, don't say anything. And I'm like, yeah, this is where I look over at my friend Mike, and he's also that

his eyes are white up. And he's like, just, uh-oh, like, oh, crap. And then the thing that kind of struck me the most is this cute German girlfriend of this DJ grabs my hand. And without saying anything, you know, because she can't speak English, she looks at me, same thing. And I just, and we just kind of sat there. And like I said, I have never heard this noise and I would never want to hear it again.

It was insane. It's like this kind of crazy, just like vacuumy, I don't know how to describe it. Like a hundred people whispering it once. Yes, yes. And as soon as the sun came up, it went away, and we all kind of saw out, we like walked out onto the balcony around like, do we want to talk about that? And Mike's like, no, we don't ever talk about it. And that was all that I ever, and it was the only thing I could say of never experiencing like it since. Wow.

Oh, my God. That's cool. I feel like San Francisco is a pretty haunted thing. Oh, it must be. Yeah, yeah. I think also. I think that devil houses do bring a lot of value on the market. I think it'd be fun.

Was the house nice, the mansion? Was it cool? It was very nice, very cool. You could probably look it up there somewhere. Yeah, yeah. I don't, I think. Yeah, no, there was like all kinds of orgy stuff happening there, too. Okay, keep going.

Oh, probably. No, yeah, no, because that was a whole big thing with Anton LeVay with, like, rituals involving sex stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But again, I mean, I'm no expert, Hail Satan. I'm just saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Andy's never, this is just off-hand information. Yeah, yeah.

He definitely didn't, like, research. I read an article about it, Hail Satan. It's not a big deal. Yeah, exactly. That's going to get, people are going to freak that I'm sorry, folks, but I think Hail Satan is a funny thing to say. All right, Amber, well, thank you so much for calling. And happy Halloween.

You too. Bye, guys. Bye. All right. Well, that was really fun. Isn't it fun? Yes. This is a fun show to do, especially I love the ghost story one because it's just, it's, you know,

so many people have them and they're always interesting. I will say, though, the depressing part is I feel like, even after listening to all these, I feel like, I can't have one. I know, I know. How are we sitting here? I know. I do. I mean, I got my grandpa.

Yeah, you have your grandpa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have nothing. Well, it's a long life. It's a long life. And I got a, you know, maybe I'll swing by that. Anton LeVay's house. Yeah.

I'll swing by there and with assholes. Chaps, I'll show up there and just, you know, try to hear some voices. Oh, sure it would be a shame if any rituals broke out. Yeah, it would be kind of crazy if Phenorgie started here. All right, well, we normally pick a favorite. These are tough ones, though. These are really good. I will tell you some of my highlights.

One of my highlights is, I believe, Gabe in Texas, because he gave us... The reflection in the mirror. Yeah, but in his story, he gave us so many details. yeah like really we were there yeah we were there with him and i thought that that was kind of a nice touch that he was really letting us know yeah um i do i will say my favorite one out of all of these is probably the uh the wiji board tom from illinois yeah i was going to say and i mean and i i'm a haunted farmhouse man oh man yeah because i grew up i actually grew up not far from minooka oh really yeah yeah and we were in the same like conference yeah yeah yeah yeah and

high school basketball and stuff yeah and then there was a they called it the pig farm and it was an old farmhouse that was has so derelict that like trees had grown up like right next to it all around it yeah yeah yeah and i only went out there once but there were kids that were like and that you know and you never know it's which is bullshit but like apparently because near there there was it's in a wooded area and there's a real sharp turn and you know somebody got didn't make make the turn and four kids and an open Jeep got decapitated all at once. And it's like, honestly, that's, that's really hard to set up. Four simultaneous decapitations.

But yeah. So, yeah, but there was just going out to it the one time when they did because it was like usually the older kids, it was scary as shit. Nothing scarier than an old derelict farmhouse. Especially when they tell you it's spooky as you're going there. Right, right. Being a little kid and people would be like, oh, you know, this place. Yeah, yeah.

And your imagination is so good when you're a kid, you're just like, oh, God. I know. And also when you're, like, in high school, like, let's go get fucked up there. Also, everything's scary when you're in high school. Yeah, yeah, of course. Like, high school party. Everything's scary now. Scary all the time.

That is true. Well, awesome, Ali. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. You got anything special you want to plug? Just watch Deli Boys on Hulu if you haven't seen it yet. And you can find me on social media at Ali Comedy. and I'll post my tour dates and all that stuff.

Sweet. Yeah. All right. Well, thank all of you for listening. I'll be back. Oh, actually, I won't be back next week. Oh, no. Because of the dancing, it's, they're kicking my ass.

Oh, no. And the workload is doubling. So I am actually taking November off from this show. So we'll be in reruns, but I will come back raring to go in December. Or if I get kicked off, I'll just start it up again. I mean, if they kick me off, my schedule. Well, free up, and I'll have my life back. It's a win-win for the people, I think.

But I may be gone all of November, and I love you all for listening, and thank you so much. And stick around to hear stand-up on Conan with Larry Kilmartin. I love you all. Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween. Conan O'Brien Radio Conan O'Brien Radio