The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Atsuko Okatsuka: Wedding Stories (The Andy Richter Call-In Show)

Episode Date: December 13, 2024

Comedian Atsuko Okatsuka joins The Andy Richter Call-In Show this week to hear wedding stories! In this episode of Andy’s new weekly SiriusXM radio show, callers share tales of songs wedding singers refuse to perform, a failed wedding livestream, a very eccentric wedding crasher, and much more.Want to call in? Fill out our Google Form at BIT.LY/CALLANDYRICHTER or dial 855-266-2604.This episode previously aired on SiriusXM’s Conan O’Brien Radio (ch. 104). If you’d like to hear these episodes in advance, new episodes premiere exclusively for SiriusXM subscribers on Conan O’Brien Radio and the SiriusXM app every Wednesday at 4pm ET/1pm PT.

Yeah. Atsuko Akatsuka, Atsuko Akatsuka Wedding stories, wedding stories, Atsuko Akatsuka And me telling and listening to wedding stories Hi everybody. I now have to join ASCAP because of that, because I just wrote a song. Uh, it's the Andy Richter Collins Show. We're talking wedding stories, 855-266-2604.

And I'm here with the hilarious Otsuko Okatsuka. Is here to tell me all about her wedding. To dish the dirt. Yay, hi Andy. Are you? Thanks for having me. Yes her wedding, to dish the dirt. Yay, hi, Andy. Are you? Thanks for having me. Yes, I can, and I will. Yeah.

And I'm about to in three, two, is that how it goes? Well, no. Did you wanna count that? No, you don't even have to tell. You know, people, people when they guest host on their show, they often feel the pressure of like, if the topic is ghost stories, like I need a ghost story but no you know yeah cuz it might be too soon for them

yeah you know what if I'm not ready to talk about my marriage of seven years yet right right you know seven years or three months who would have thought that green card deal would have worked out a hundred percent? Yes, he's a Latvian laborer. For Ryan Harper and Grey, that's right. Yeah, no, actually, so we didn't, we were married for seven years, right? But then like six months ago, we realized we weren't actually married that whole time. Oh, that's right. I forgot about that.

You guys, like, what was there like a clerical error or did you not file paperwork? What was it? Yeah, it was paperwork error on our part because it's too easy for people to get married. Yeah. For straight people to get married. Right. That's what we learned. Right, right. You know, you just need, yeah, you just go, I like this person, I like this person, we got rings.

Yeah. And then you invite people to a venue and we got married. But you never went to the city and applied for a license and all of that. I guess there's two paperwork things you're supposed to do, you know this. Yeah, I just got married last year. Yeah.

So yeah, but I do remember we had to go to like one of the, I don't even remember, you know, like city. It's called Registrar County Office. Yes, exactly, yes. I do remember, you know, like city. It's called registrar county office. Yes, exactly. Yes. I do remember, cause we were in East LA. It was like on a Figueroa, I think. Oh yeah. Yeah.

We had to go somewhere far for the second time. The first time we didn't go anywhere, right? Because obviously we didn't turn it in. So like after the wedding, you know, we were partying and drinking probably too much. And then there's a paper that you're supposed to have people sign to witnesses And you turn that in we didn't do that So yeah, I was trying to get him on my health insurance. That's how I found out the city of Los Angeles

I was talking to someone there and she was like sweetie Yeah, she was like there's no record of you two ever getting married Yeah, you could have totally there's no record of you two ever getting married. Wow. Yeah. You could have totally been fucking around on him for years. Oh my gosh, this whole time we were just boyfriend and girlfriend. Eww.

Oh, we were just good friends. What a waste. Think of all that emotional work you did for nothing. Yeah. Yeah, I know. You know what? I'm gonna re-lose that paper. We're gonna re-open up that relationship and say, let's do it again.

Yeah. For the things we're missing out on, you never know. Yeah, yeah. Well, you guys at least, my wife changed her name to, she's Jennifer Herrera, and she just became Jennifer Herrera Richter. And that, because my ex-wife never changed her last name, which I don't, I wouldn't change my last name for some, I mean, or I would, I don't know if it really mattered to

him. It never mattered to me. You didn't want to be Andy Herrera? Herrera? Yeah. I mean, I think it would, it would be false advertising. Sure. If they see Andy Herrera is coming and then this fucking vanilla pie walks through the door. Right then the community would be like oh man again. What are you doing here? Oh man. We were expecting a you know like a hunky Latino. If a Latino is correct anymore. It might be a Latinx male. No not bombed that it was gonna be a hunky one, a hunky Latin guy, but it was more like, oh man. Oh man, more whitey. Yeah, again.

Another whitey. Taking our role. I mean, cause we joked that my husband take my last name, Ryan Harper Okatsuka. But then, you know, that would be, people have gotten in trouble for that before, like in Ghost in the Shell, the movie. Oh right, exactly. Yeah, so, you know, people have gotten in trouble for that before, like in Ghost in the Shell, the movie. Oh, right, exactly.

Yeah, so, you know, we were like, yeah. Yeah, but that was a huge pain in the ass for her. And she also too, she has a dual citizenship in the UK. So she even had to like fly to the UK to go get that paperwork taken care of. Oh my gosh. And that flight time of like I don't know eight hours or something that's enough time to kind of just double check with yourself. Right. Do I really want to do this? Oh it was too late. I'd already adopted

the kid and everything so it was too late. She had no choice and also I'm a fucking prize. Yeah. You know she's totally got the best end of that deal. That's why she took your last name and not vice versa. Right, exactly. Yeah. Exactly. And I'm a known brand. Look at you. Andy Richter.

There's like 35 people out there that that's meaningful to. There's more than that. Come on, look at you. Right behind you, Andy Richter, Colin Shoe. That's you, baby. Somebody made a logo and we had meetings about the logo. You have multiple logos. There were like four meetings about like what we should do with the logo.

See? And I get to go like, no, yeah. How many meetings is your wife in about, you know, her logos? You have two logos. You got three questions with Andy Richter? Right. That's a different logo. That's a different logo. And there been a series of logos. I'm in it for the logos. And so is she. And so is she. And the nookie. The nookie. All right, well, we should probably go to the phones. Let's do it. The people need us.

Is there anything about, did your wedding, it was just a fun party, was there anything that really happened at the wedding? The first one? The first wedding. The first wedding. Oh, did you go ahead and have a full on second wedding party? We know. You would have gotten an invite. Oh, right.

But we had to bring two witnesses who were at the wedding to bring back to the registrar county office the second time. So it was like we were like, well, should we just go out to lunch and just call it our second wedding? So we did do that. It was very chill, kind of sad.

And you did have to go back and prove it was the first time not just do it all over again. Yes, yeah, we had to prove, that's all. We had to pay, all it was was pay $100 and have the two witnesses say, yes, we already watched these dum-dums say, I do. They were pissed. Yes, yes. They were pissed. Yes, yes.

They were pissed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I, well, I mean, it was in, it was actually in the paper and stuff that, but Conan married us because we didn't want to have a minister and a friend of my wife's was going to do it. And she's one of those, you know, like classified ads ministers for whatever one of those churches is. And she wasn't able to do it and so we were sitting there like, oh what are we gonna do? And I said, well I think I remember the name of that church. And I was thinking like I would have my adult son just get certified and then he could marry us.

And I open up the webpage for the place and the first face I see is Conan O'Brien's big old head on their page and I'm like, oh yeah, right, he already did. And I had forgotten that he had gotten ordained because he married our costume designer to his husband on the air in New York years ago. And I was like, oh, and he was coming to the wedding anyway. So I just was like, Hey, will you, if I give you, you know, one sheet of script to read, would you marry us? So, you know, he married us. Poor son. Son could have done it. Yeah, but then he...

That would have been a full circle moment. Right. Very Lion King. And he could have, yeah, and then he could have had a business on the side of marrying people. Yeah, who needs more money? I would say your son than Conan, but... Yeah, no kidding.

Yeah, but you know what? He's got plenty. Congratulations. Thank you. You too. Thank you. Congratulations on doing it twice. 100%. Yeah, yeah.

It's the second time I was undocumented. I... And I didn't know. And I didn't know. Full circle. Yup. I did it twice, but it was not as happy as you're doing it twice. Hey, it's not a competition.

It's not a competition. And except for in my brain, all the time, everything is a competition. Let's go to the phones if you want to be in on this and talk about weddings, your wedding stories. 855-266-2604. Let's go to our first caller, Mike. Hello, Mike from Washington, are you there? Yeah, can you hear me? I can, you've got Andy and you've got Otsuko.

Hi. Thank you, I'm so excited for this've got Andy and you've got Otsuko. Hi! Thank you, I'm so excited for this. So go ahead, tell us your wedding story. Okay, so this was about 15 years ago and I was at a wedding and the bride was a friend of mine. Now, we'd gone through a lot of the wedding and the best man was the groom's younger brother. Now this was actually one of the better best man speeches I'd ever heard. He had, he had like a good theme to it where the idea was relationships, they kind of change over time as you get older, but as long

as you know, you have a foundation of love that can keep the relationships really strong, like, and then he was kind of telling stories from different periods of his life and his brother's life, that kind of reinforced this thing like it was pretty good. But they get to the part where they're talking about when they're pre-teens, and he's telling the story about there are these boys out in the desert outside of Las Vegas, and what they would do to entertain themselves was they would use a slingshot and they would use it to shoot birds and small mammals. And then when these animals had died, they would pose them and then play with the bodies. And so like the birds, they would turn it into like a little glider to throw around.

Like they'd use like squirrels, like almost like action figures. And like, and he actually started like weeping because this was such a beautiful story to him. And the whole room just turned from this, oh, this is really sweet, to just this, oh, oh. Yeah, we're at a serial killer's wedding. I checked in with the bride a few years later. She's still alive. Yeah. Yeah, still alive and untaxidermied I believe so I mean I guess it's possible that her husband was just impersonating her well did anyone like clue in the brother that this is not this is that the speech

was having an effect other than what he had intended? I really don't think so. And to like, I mean, how do you even ask your friend about that? Did he realize this is how this played? Like, did nobody vet this ahead of time? Yeah, and I mean, we were all just so stunned that we just,

it was one of those things that my classmates and I mean we were all just so stunned that we just, it was one of those things that my classmates and I just never spoke of again until a few years later. We were just too shocked. Wow. I feel like usually you do kind of, what you do is just kind of look around the room and if everyone's mouth is like agape, shocked, Yeah.

You know, not crying emotionally like you are, you might go, oh, okay. Yeah different vibes I wonder if he was so focused on his note cards that he just you know Like couldn't read the room audience too closely and you yeah distracted, you know, yeah I also think too that maybe someone who Thinks it's a natural thing to play with dead animals maybe is not good at reading rooms. Just like that might be part of the same profile. Right, because yes, usually that's under the same as when you like you said serial killers would be kind of in that vein. Although I you know what,

I do think about because I grew up in the country and My friends and I had BB guns and we would shoot at things and I think I might have killed a bird once But I didn't play with it. So maybe I just killed a bird for no reason other than right You know being ten and being having a gun and you know a BB gun Yeah, but just wanton destruction of it of you know a baby gun yeah but just wanting destruction of it of you know a young male but at least they got some playtime yeah what they did was make use of it yeah they did it's like either that or eat it right you know what I mean right you eat what you hunt or you right play doll they did not feed their bellies they fed their souls yeah Yeah. Like making the dead animals into dolls. And now

they are the grown men today. They have at least each other and the guy has his wife. Yes. Your friend. That's right. Now they're probably in the upcoming administration. All right, well thank you so much Mike and have a happy holidays. I'm gonna say that to everybody. Yeah. Yeah. Have a good one Bye Mike. Bye All right. Next up we got Vicki from Pennsylvania Vicki. You've got a wedding story for us Yeah, I do you can hear me all right I'm walking. Oh, okay. Yeah, it does sound like you're in a low-force gale. Well, welcome to Pittsburgh. That's what we're here for. My story is, I was with my wife for like nine years

before we even got the right to marry. And so we went to baiting, doing something big something big something small whatever we wanted to do But then lo and behold Donald Trump got elected and we were panicked that Yeah Yeah, yank the matrimonial rug out from under you Yeah, I mean they want to make sure that gay people can suffer as much as straight people I mean they wanted to make sure that gay people couldn't suffer as much as straight people, so... Um... So what we did is in Pennsylvania you can do a self-uniting license where you and your spouse can just sign along with two witnesses and...

...bam bam, you're married. So we like, we picked two friends that we loved dearly, one was gay, one was straight, we went to a gay bar to have dinner, drinks, and to sign the license. So we signed the license, we're having dinner, we're having drinks, we're having a great time. And this woman just wanders up to our table four, pulls up a chair, plops down, and starts hanging on my gay friend trying to hit on him. But then she starts talking about how she has Percocet,

Vicodin, Cocaine, and any other drug that you could possibly find on the street in her person. Did you want any? And we're like, no, thanks. See, that's what you call a wedding present. That's wedding present. Unexpected. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, but I might accept that from somebody in there, but not necessarily from a stranger who just walks up to you. Vicki, is it a celebration or not? Yeah. Well, at that point I had enough scott to me that it was a celebration, so you know, hey. Yeah, that is true because it's like, yeah, here's a Percocet and then you just pop a pill from some stranger you don't know what you're taking. Oh my god it was ridiculous I mean and she had conditions in a gay bar and that the likelihood

of the man she's draped all over is gay, he looks gay, he sounds gay, he is gay. Yeah. And she just let him alone, I stepped off her, he wore more and more sounds gay, he is gay. And she just sort of let him alone. I stepped off when he wore more gloves and we're like, no, thank you. You don't know anything about you, go away. We're not going away to save our lives. She probably thought she could change him.

We've married ever since. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that happens on occasion, but yeah. Not very often, not very often very often. Not very often. Yeah, not very often. But we've been married ever since, so... Well, congratulations!

...2007. Congratulations. Yes, congrats. And, you know, and just... Yeah! That's what you... You gotta stay out of those gay bars. Those gay bars are just...

They're full of sin and sinners. Yeah, go to the straight ones where it's really safe bad things never happen and no drugs at all nothing ever happens at the straight bars yeah like kidnappings or trafficking yeah or you could do what I do and just yes poppers yes you could just do what I do and stay home and never go anywhere that's that's. Yeah, that's that's my favorite straight bar It's just me myself All right, Andy have a good one and I have a happy holiday happy holidays and get out of the cold I will do my best. Okay. Take care. All right. Bye Vicky. Thanks. All right. This is the Andy Richter call-in show

We're taking wedding stories me me and Ansco Okatska. We're at 855-266-2604. If you wanna share a wedding story with us. We got another caller from Pennsylvania. They were demographically heavy from Pennsylvania today. We got Shay. What's up, Shay? Hi Andy, hi Ansco. Hi's up, Shay? Hi, Andy.

Hi, Asko. Hi. Hi. I'm actually a wedding singer. Oh, wow. Wow, great voice. So we're gonna take a little different twist down this lane.

So you've been to, how many weddings do you think you've been to? Oh, God. Since 2016, definitely lost count. Wow. Definitely lost count. But you know, I really, truly wish that I could find out which ones were still together. Yeah, yeah. I have count. But you know, I really truly wish that I could find out which ones were still together. Yeah, yeah.

I have theories, but you know, I'll never know. Well then, and then you could like, you could take grandiose credit for it. Like I knew, you know. I know, right? Yeah, I knew my singing would tear them apart or slash bring them together, keep them together. Damn it, I thought that they wanted me

to sing Katy Perry today. Okay. Well, okay. I mean, do you have any particularly good stories from your career as a wedding chanteuse? I do, I do. So a few years back, I was doing a wedding gig where I was not the lead person in the band,

but it was already proving to be a very bizarre crowd. And they had also gone all out where they hired a full 10-piece band, and they also had hired lighting technicians to help with these sparklers that were surrounding the band. And these things shot up like eight feet high. They were just tremendous. And, you know, the pyrotechnics were definitely in effect that night. And they were, were they continuous or did they just go off for a while and then stop? The guy, the technicians in the back were setting them off at particular times. So anytime there was a dramatic entrance or cake cutting, it would go off. It was a nice little flare.

So this thumb of a woman kept approaching the band throughout the night and interrupting different musicians, just no social, spatial awareness for anything that we were doing. And she kept asking if she could plug in her phone to play a song. And this is not allowed. You know, the brides typically warn us like, Hey, Uncle Ned is going to want to play with, you know, with you guys on any Doobie Brothers songs that you do. Please tell him that he's not allowed to. Yeah. This woman, I don't know who she was, and she would not take no for an answer. So finally, at one point, I see her approach the band, it must have been her fifth or sixth time

approaching us. And the lighting technician who looked like very Circa adventures and babysitting Dawson's garage Vincent D'Onofrio type he sets off the sparkler that was directly in front of the woman to make her jump back Oh my gosh and she left us alone the entire duration of the rest of the night and I just looked at him with just such adoration and to this day, I don't know if he's doing but, wherever he is, I just hope his pillow is always cool at night. He saved our life that night. Wow. Wow.

Yes, with the threat of facial burns. Yes. That is- Sometimes that's what it takes. Yeah. Yeah, I never thought to carry something like that around when I'm walking home alone. Yeah. Yeah. Right, Yeah, it's some pyro

Yes pyro perfect. I'm your purse. Yes, very Katy Perry very fireworks Do you think you could add that to your brand the pyro purse? I will the pyro purse Do people ever like hit on you you ever get you know, cuz Weddings do tend to be sort of have an amorous sort of energy ever get you know, because weddings do tend to be sort of have an amorous sort of energy. It's funny that you say that because typically, I'm the only woman in the band. So the guys don't always get it. But yeah, I've had people lean in close to me. And I'll think that they're

trying to request a song. But I had this one guy that just leaned in and he's he whispered to me, you're a goddess. And then I thank you. And then I just say thank you. And then he just throughout the night, I would just see him like, where's Waldo at any given area of the room. It was just, please don't do that. Just tears streaming down his face. Eyes locked onto you.

Oh, that's uncle Ned. Oh, that's him. Yeah. What's, uh, what's your most dreaded request? Oh God. You know, I heard that you did Sweet Caroline at the mass there. On the Mass Singer, I did, yes.

I call it the white national anthem. Yeah, even my mom knows it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I could do without hearing that for the rest of my career. Yeah, yeah, I could see that. But you know, yeah, I thought it was a crowd pleaser on Masked Singer, except in my case,

they voted me off right away. Oh my gosh, from that song? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh wow, did they at least joined in? Yeah, oh no, they joined in, but I think, I honestly think that like, I thought like, oh yeah, this is such a popular song but I'm old and I think most of this and you're basic you know it's the studio audience voting so

whether or not you go on on the mass singer and I think they were much younger so they were like and you don't it's really weird because you don't you are very much like secluded and the security in terms of protecting your identity is absurd. Like I, for a rehearsal, I got out of the car and I was wearing, and they, when you get into the car, they send a car to pick you up, you put on a hoodie

and gloves and a hat and the hood, and then like a big, like face mask, one of those big face shields shields sort of sunglass things. And I was not wearing socks, and I was starting to get out of the car, and I was just wearing like vans kind of shoes, and the producer was like, you have to put socks on. Oh yeah.

Like in case someone figured out I was Caucasian, then they would narrow it down down and they'd be like, oh, it's Andy Richter. I'd know that wide ankle anywhere. But so we never saw many of the other, I didn't see many of the other singers and I would just kind of like hear the other songs kind of through the wall

and I didn't recognize any of them. So I just was like, I didn't, you know. You were like, wow. Yeah, I just think I'm too old. I find myself having to learn a lot of new material, especially for, you know, their first dance requests. Because I'm an elder millennial and I have Gen X siblings. So it is not typically my scene.

I have to study up a little bit more on the Harry Styles, Yeah, yeah. Taylor Swift type stuff. Yeah, yeah. Right, right, you're out there singing 360 or 365, the remix. 365, Potty Gal. 365, Potty Gal, you know.

I don't even know what that is. That's Charlie X. Oh, I know what that is either. Yeah, it's Charlie XCX. I think Bob Seeger, I mean. I mean. Ha ha ha ha. Remember it was a brat election.

I won't remind us. It was, yes, it was a brat summer, I won't remind us. It was a brat summer, yes. I do remember that. All right, well Shay, thank you so much for the call. Have a good holiday season. Thank you, this is a dream come true. Oh gosh, thanks so much. Next up, we have Lucia or Lucia,

or I don't know how you would wanna pronounce this depending on whether you're from, well you're from Calgary. How do you say, is it Lucia or Lucia? Lucia, Calgary was not a hint. Lucia, okay. Lucia. Lucia, yeah. Calgary is just a happenstance.

Cause yeah, cause in Italian isn't it Lucia, like Santa Lucia? If I was Italian, yes, but I'm Portuguese. Oh, oh, well then excuse me. Ooh, okay. Ooh. Ooh. Oh, wow, spicy me. Ooh, okay. Ooh la la, spicy either way. So cultured.

All right, Luciette, first of all, how is it in Calgary? Is it freezing? No, actually, it's not too bad right now. We had like a spate of like negative 20 degrees, but right now it's, you know, normal winter. It's so cold up there, just that prairie. The prairie is the coldest place on this. But it's the dry cold. It's not that bad. That's true. That is true.

You get used to it. Yeah. And you just stay indoors for three months. Right. And build on your personality. Right. Right. Yeah. Learn Portuguese at home. Well, tell us about your wedding story. Yeah. Well, so my husband and I

actually ended up getting married three times. Wow she's got you beat by one. Yeah wow I got married twice yes. Well just wait we got married um with the justice of the peace in the mountains and the rocky mountains beautiful simple ceremony with a couple of friends and our parents it was beautiful but both of our parents are Catholic and so after that they were like, okay this was nice but where's the real wedding? So we were like, okay I guess we've got to do the church thing as well. So then we did a very small like two friends in the church. Now it's you know ordained by God. Right. So we were happy. Right. Exactly. There were, and then you had, you had one other friend there.

God. God. God came to that wedding. Yes. Yes. Yes, of course. Um, and then my husband's family, uh, who is from Mexico, we're all like, well, what about us?

We want to be there. So then we went to Mexico and had a big party, which that one was more, like that one looked more like a traditional wedding, but it actually had no legal aspect to it whatsoever. So it was like the least real, but the most real. But did you, did you exchange vows in front of the third one? Yeah, we did, we did.

Oh, you did? Oh, wow. It just wasn't actually like, yeah. And did you find your performance in saying I do was better by the third time around since you'd had rehearsal? Yeah, we had a few different options of how to say it. And so, yeah, we had nailed it down by the third time. Yeah, yeah.

Do you say the same vowels every time then? You just repeat it every time? No, actually, because it was written by the officiant each time. And so it was a little different, which was nice. Yeah, nice. Got it. Except us on our toes anyway.

But the whole thing is, after all that, we weren't actually married because the first one, the officiant did not submit the paperwork even though she told us she would. Oh my gosh, that sounds so familiar. Did you have to then do a fourth? Yes, but at that point we literally just ran to a registry office and backdated it and signed some paperwork. That was not like a wedding. Right, right.

Oh my gosh, that's exactly what I did. Wow. Yeah. So what do you celebrate as your anniversary date? One, two, three, or four? Good question. We actually celebrate three only because that's the date I liked the best. Oh, wow. Don't tell your parents the ones that really wanted that church wedding. Yeah, God will be like, that date doesn't ring a bell to me.

I know, that's a big guy to upset too actually. Yeah, yeah. Did you even consider for a moment, I mean, I don't know how religious you are, I'm assuming not very, because you did a civil ceremony the first time, but did you consider saying, nah, we don't really need to do the church thing?

Or were you just like, yeah, sure, why not, whatever? It was a why not, you know, make our moms happy, not a big deal, no skin off our backs. Yeah, yeah, when we got married, cause my wife was raised Catholic, and one of the places that we considered, it was like this kind of old hotel with its own chapel, but in order to get married in the chapel,

it had to be Catholic, I guess, cause it was like consecrated as a Catholic Church Yeah, and I was like, yeah sure whatever and my wife was like no No, no priests. So I'm okay. Yeah didn't matter to me Yeah, that's what Mike Barbiglia says about Catholics about what was you know, once they grow up. They're all atheists. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, exactly. Cuz yeah, this was about ten atheists. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah exactly cuz yeah This was about ten years ago and if it was happening today, I probably would say no, absolutely Yeah, they got to figure that out. That's bad for the brand. I know I know

Because then they turn into comedians and they talk about yes exactly They have a big microphone get on satellite radio and they crack wise about God. Yeah satellite radio and they crack wise about God. Yeah. You know. All right. We're all just going into the ground I think you know. That's all yeah. Oh just think of the rest. Oh such a nice. And you've achieved so much you got married four times. Yes. Yeah wonderful. Thank you so much it was really lovely speaking to both of you. Thank you so much and happy holidays. Happy holidays All right. Bye. Bye. I mean I I could have been safe saying Merry Christmas with her I think yeah As far as I know she might be pagan though, I didn't want to ask we don't want to cancel you right now

We don't uh Andy writ to crawl and show eight five five two six six two six. Oh four We're taking wedding stories me and otz Okatsuko. Hey, you know what I want to, well before we're finished, I do want to tell everybody you can watch Otsuko's comedy special, The Intruder, on HBO right now and you can find her tour dates at Otsuko, which is A-T-S-U-K-O, comedy.com, Otsukocomedy.com. You'll be touring Europe next year. Yes, that's true. I'll be there in February. Ooh la la.

When it's so cold, speaking of the cold. Yeah. I know. That's really fun though. You've done Europe before though, haven't you? This is my first time doing Europe. I just did my- Oh, you did Asia, right.

I did Asia. Yeah, yeah. Places American comedians don't go to. Right. I was performing in Jakarta Malaysia, Taiwan and selling well I would think oh, yeah. Oh, that's great. Yes, and just doing stand-up in English the way I do it here Yeah, yeah, yeah, I didn't have to great. It's so good. I'm so happy for you. You know that you're oh, thank you because I mean I first knew you from a clip online of

Because I mean, I first knew you from a clip online of you reacting to an actual earthquake while you were on stage. Yes. And you were so funny in that clip, I was like, oh, I'll follow her. And then, you know, and then, you know, we became friends and it's just, it's so great that you've taken off the way you have.

Thank you, thank you. You know, we both, we both thrive in chaos. I think that's why. I guess so. The fellow weirdos see me. Yeah. Yeah, that is. I mean, the weirdo part. Yeah, definitely. The chaos part, I'm kind of like, I don't really want to make that part of my brand. I don't think you're done with that. Yeah. You're done with that. I'm old and tired, but I'll get there soon.

Yeah. Right now, I'm like, yeah, give me Hollywood and Highland. Give me, you know, give me give me street noise. Give me like Carnegie Carnegie Hall. Yeah, give me streets. Give me scary alleys. Yeah, you know right now. Yeah. Yeah No, but I mean, it's so great. I I love that. It's like it's when somebody when somebody good gets big and popular That's it makes you feel like oh, well, okay. The world isn't complete shit Oh, you know what I mean? There's a lot of people out there that are big that should not be big that are not funny and not good and well and that's for my next show I'll tell you who all of them are yeah yeah I know who they They are. Name names. No, I won't. All right, next up, Tim from Wisconsin.

Hi. Hi. Hi, Tim. Hello, today is actually my anniversary. Oh, congratulations. Oh, happy anniversary. Which one? I'll say four, four years.

Nice. You want me to jump into the story? Please do. Oh, yeah. So me and my now wife, we were engaged for about eight or nine years actually. Oh well. Foot-draggr, eh? Yeah.

And then pandemic rolls around 2020 and we said, you know what, let's just get married. We'll go to the courthouse, we'll stream it to all our friends. That'll be that. So we organize it, you know, no guest list is too big at that point. So everybody we ever met gets this Facebook invite. We are at the courthouse, we got the judge, the guy taking the pictures and my wife's sister to stream it on my phone. I hand her my phone, I launch everything, we're good to go. Go through the ceremony, you know, hey you're married. I have her sister hand

me the phone back and realize I never hit stream. No! It didn't go out to anybody. It actually went out for about 30 seconds when she handed me the phone back and I hit what I thought was stop so they got a video of my feet for about 20 seconds. Oh. Oh my gosh. And how many people do you think were supposed to be watching? I mean we threw out so many invites I figure about a hundred people maybe. Oh wow.

And it was like hey it's going to be about this time just look for the stream to start and I I felt awful it was a hundred percent my fault I told my sister-in-law it's ready to go just point and that's what she did exactly what she was supposed to I'm panicking picturing the next hopefully many anniversaries having to live visit down and in the back of my mind, I'm thinking, can we do it again? But you know, this is an official thing. We're at a courthouse. I also think the judge is gonna go for that.

And bless this judge's heart. Just leans in and he looks at us, he's like, we can do it again. Oh good. Oh that, what a nice judge. Yes, very nice guy. So, fired the phone up correctly this time, triple checked it, streamed it out again, nobody really knew the difference other than there was a short

stream of my feet beforehand. And both my wife and I loved it because we got to go through the whole vows and everything twice. So, we frequently bring it up that we got married twice. Oh, that's nice. That was pretty good as a last caller. That's nice. Frequently bring it up that we got married twice That's nice yeah now see I would have I would have just gotten on and been like hey everybody sorry I blew it It's me I fucked up. Sorry the worst part is I'm in IT so half the people watching were co-workers That's awesome all right well Tim happy anniversary and happy holidays and thanks for the call. Thank you, big fan.

Thank you. Here's to many more. All right, next up, oh this is exciting, Otsco. Who? Because we have an open policy here that if you have a good call or good story that's off topic, yes, you can call in anyway and we will take it and we call that a wild card. So we've got a wild card. Joe from Minnesota, Joe how are you? Hey I'm good how are you doing? Excellent, excellent. So tell us first of all do you have like any sort of like theme for your wild card? God I love that sound. Yeah, that's why I said Glad come back. All right. Yeah, sorry

Didn't mean to make you clam up. I know. I know. You made him black out, Andy. We made your story shy. Sorry. Sorry. I'll control myself. So when I was four years old, which was sort of in 1984, my brother, my cousin Brian was killed in a car accident. And he was eight years old. And it was the first time that I'd ever, you know, I'm four years old. I'd never been to a funeral. Didn't really understand the whole death thing, right? So we're at his funeral. And I remember looking down into,

you know, it was an open casket. And I remember looking down and seeing him there. And I look across the room and he's standing across the room with two other kids his age and some dude and they're all wearing like these like off-white kind of altar boy looking robes and he looks really happy like it looked like somebody had just told a joke he was kind of like mid-laugh and I remember looking over you know across the church and then looking down in the casket and being like why is he here but also over there? It's weird to me right? But I'm four years old, I don't understand how

anything works, I don't really think anything of it. Until years later I'm talking to my dad about it and somehow you know my cousin comes up and I mentioned at the funeral you know I remember seeing him and he was joking around with the altar boys and my dad said Joe it was a funeral there were no altar boys there oh so I don't know what what exactly I saw you know who my cousin was with but you know wherever he was he seemed pretty happy so you know I kind of took heart in that wherever he was, wherever he'd gone, that he was in a good place. So there was nothing about the appearance, like they weren't, you know, slightly shimmery

or anything like that. No, no, they looked just like people, right? And I didn't know who the other two, there was one boy on his right, one boy on his left, my cousin was in the middle, and there was an older person standing behind them who looked kind of exasperated, like, what do I have to deal with these knuckleheads? You know, because they were obviously still being kids,

even in whatever form they were in. Yeah, yeah. That's so wild. Wow. I, you know, not, I thought you were gonna be like, turns out he had a twin. That's where I thought the story was going. Yeah, where it's like,

I don't know how the world works. I didn't know identical twins was a thing. But then I would have been like, why is he laughing at his brother's funeral? Right, right. You know, wow. Cousins. Oh, right, cousins. Well, I mean, no, if the kid who passed had a twin. Oh, I see what you mean. It was twin.

Right, right, right. That's who Joe was seeing, actually, you know. Right. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Yeah. And have you had any similar sort of like, you know, do you have the site now? Have you ever had it in any other form? I've never seen anything else. There was one time when I heard something behind me. Like I was in college, I was leaving this gym that we worked out in. I was the last person to leave after they closed up. And it was a really, really old building.

And I'm walking down the stairs and I hear the sound of like Converse Chuck Taylor squeaking behind me. And like somebody is like running down the stairs and they get closer and closer and closer. And I actually move over to the right or left, just to get out of their way. And I turned around and looked and there was nobody there. Oh, wow.

Oh, Joe, I think you have the sight. Yeah, yeah. And hearing. Yeah. You're surrounded by dead people all the time. Wow, yeah. You have the gift. That's gotta put a cramp in your self-love life, if you know what I mean.

Yeah, well, I mean, you can raise Catholic on top of that. Right, exactly, yeah, yeah. Oh, Joe. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, no, I would, the only time, and I told this, we did a ghost stories episode and I heard a few days after my grandfather died,

I was in my grandmother's house alone and I heard him calling for her. Oh, wow. I was watching TV and I heard him in the background calling for her. And that's the only, even close to sort of like, ghostly kind of experience that I've ever had. Yeah.

Sure. You know. Yeah, I've never had one. Yeah. But I, you know, I'm open for more, Universe, if you're listening. If the other side has a satellite radio subscription. Alright, well thank you, Joe. Thank you, Joe.

Thank you for that wild card. I know, thank you. Alright. And have a happy holidays up there. Thanks thank you Joe. Thank you for that wild card. I know, thank you. And have a happy holidays up there. Thanks, you too. Andy Richter call-in show 855-266-2604. We're going next to Georgia from Tennessee. Georgia, you've got Andy and Otsuko. Oh my gosh, I'm such a big fan of both of you guys. I'm so happy to talk to you. That is so convenient.

Hi, yay. Because imagine if you hated one of us. I know, or both. Or both, but I'm here. And you were calling to say that. Yeah, then I would say you really should do something better with your time. Oh, stop it. Oh, OK.

So my mama, my mama was on the show Hee Haw. Are you guys familiar with Hee Haw? Yes, I am. I do not know Hee Haw. Is it like the Gong show He was sort of like a hillbilly SNL. Oh really it was syndicated for many years or laughing Yeah, oh that's so fun like laughing country music yeah But she's a lady that irons and yelled at her husband with the missing tooth in the middle. Anyway, that was your mother Wow, I know exactly who you mean. Yeah. Yeah Ronnie stoneman Ronnie stoneman. Okay, and um, she's been married six times

Wow My dad was just loves getting married Anyway, her fifth marriage she decided to kill two birds with one stone. She had a fiddler convention and her wedding was the fiddler convention. There were thousands of people there. That was so insane because you had like people there that were famous and people there that were just so talented and she got married on the stage at a Fiddler's Convention. Wow.

For her fifth wedding. I'm learning so many things, like there's a Fiddler's Convention. Sure, of course there is. So everyone, the thousand people there are all Fiddlers? It's Fiddlefest, yeah. Yeah, they were Fiddlers and their family. It was like a contest and they would win money.

Well, see, but you you know the thing is, is that by the time, I feel like that's a good act five for the fiddler. Well, what's the musical called? I can't think of it right now. Fiddler on the Roof. Fiddler on the Roof. Fiddler on the Roof.

Fiddler on the Roof. It ends with your mom getting married in front of a thousand fiddlers. On the Roof. Come on. That would have been so much more fun. I was just saying that by the fifth time, you figure out a way to make the wedding a write-off.

You know what? That's probably what it was. It totally was. She did not pay a penny of post-tax dollars on that wedding because- Yeah, and people paid to come. Precisely. Oh my gosh gosh she charged

yeah that's so smart she's a genius brilliant woman your mom you think you're going to a fiddle fest but really you're making a wedding present oh i thought about doing that people were there it's crazy oh wow i wanted to do a comedy show for my wedding and my husband was like can we please make this one thing just ours? Can you just for one time? Not make it 100% I was I did

There was a guy that I used to do improv with who proposed to his fiance or his then you know,, he proposed on stage at an improv show. And even at that age, I was like, on the throne of insincerity, you're going to get down on one knee and ask someone to enter into like a lifelong commitment. Like, no, no, wait until after the show. And, you know, better you do it in the bathroom than on stage.

No, it's true. Absolutely. Yeah. Sometimes you just want an audience that paid. Right, exactly. That's all. Well, so did the sixth one take, did she finally, did that one last and is your mom?

It did, but he passed away. Oh, okay. And mom passed away in February, but he passed away. And mom passed away in February, but he passed away a couple years before she did. So I guess they never got along. But I mean, you're asking a lot, really. You know, really? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, condolences on losing your mom. But you have these beautiful stories of her and she is a genius. She really is. Yes. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Well, thank you so much, Georgia. You should watch her play banjo.

Well, I definitely, next time I see a Hee Haw clip, I'm gonna think about this. Yes. Well, thank you. Thank you so much for taking my call. Y'all have made my day. All right, thank you, Georgia. Happy holidays.

Lots of love. You day. All right. Thank you, Georgia. Happy holidays. Lots of love. You too. All right. Well, let's go. We're going to wrap it up. It's the top of the hour. At the end of the hour, we usually pick a favorite. Do you have a favorite call?

Oh, gosh. My memory, Andy. My memory. Believe me, I usually just wait for the person to pick one, and then I agree, because I have a hard time remembering. I was going let's go let's go through them. There's a wedding singer. Yeah. Oh, there was drugs at a bar gay bar Right, right. There was you know, the the hee-haw mom Fiddler Honestly, my favorite is you Fucking up your paperwork and having to get married again

And they you have to say that because I'm sitting right across from you and I have your jacket hostage or your vest. Yeah, my sexy fleece vest. I have it. So you need it. With the Chicago Cubs insignia. With the winter fast approaching, you're going to need this. This is why you chose mine.

I'm going to need to keep my torso warm, but my arms free. Gosh, I my arms free. Gosh, I don't know, there were so many good ones. I mean, and there was a good creepy, I mean, creepy but sort of sweet ghost story. Yeah, the ghost story was very touching. I was like, now that's a movie. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, oh gosh.

And then the woman who, you know, maybe the woman who had to get married four times. That's a, yeah, yeah, Yeah, she put you at a shame. Yeah, because of that. Because it's, I'm making it about me still. I'm like, well, she won. It's what you do. She won. You gotta do what you do, yep.

Yeah, so there's that. All right, well, The Intruders on HBO, check that out, atscocomedy.com. You gotta go see this woman. She's hilarious, hilarious. Thanks so much! I want to thank you for coming and spending this hour with me. I really appreciate it.

It was a true honor. Alright, well thank all of you out there. Uh, we'll be back next week. Uh, with another episode of the Andy Richter Call-In Show. And until then, go do some interesting things that you can call us next week about. Okay, bye.