The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Beth Stelling: Restaurant Stories (The Andy Richter Call-In Show)

Episode Date: May 9, 2025

Comedian Beth Stelling joins the Andy Richter Call-In Show this week to hear your RESTAURANT and SERVICE INDUSTRY STORIES! In this episode of Andy’s weekly SiriusXM radio show, callers share stories about restaurant mascots, (potentially) toxic sauces, and much more.In Southern California? Come see the Andy Richter Call-In Show live for free at SiriusXM Studios in Hollywood. Visit http://siriusxm.com/andyrichterla for your chance at free tickets.Want to call in? Fill out our Google Form at BIT.LY/CALLANDYRICHTER or dial 855-266-2604.This episode previously aired on SiriusXM’s Conan O’Brien Radio (ch. 104). If you’d like to hear these episodes in advance, new episodes premiere exclusively for SiriusXM subscribers on Conan O’Brien Radio and the SiriusXM app every Wednesday at 4pm ET/1pm PT.

Hey Los Angeles, Andy Richter here. I'm doing a special taping of the Andy Richter Call-In Show live at SiriusXM Studios on Thursday, May 22nd, and you are invited. I am lucky enough to have two amazing special guests, the hilarious Rachel Bloom and the hilarious Chris Fleming. That's two hilarious people. You can sign up for a chance at free tickets at siriusexm.com slash AndyRichterLA, all one word. You can also find for a chance at free tickets at SiriusXM.com slash AndyRichterLA all one word. You can also find the ticket link in the description of this episode. Conan O'Brien Radio! Conan O'Brien Radio!

Hi, hi! We're back! Uh... Andy Richard Collins show 855-266-2604 Talking restaurant service industry stories. We've done this topic before but uh... there's only so many topics. What do you people want from me? Fucking back off. Um... I got Beth Stelling in here,

the hilarious stand-up comedian, writer, and actor. You've seen her on Netflix, Comedy Central, HBO Max, Santa Monica Boulevard. You've seen her everywhere. Hey, I was on a bike. Which is really... Santa Monica Boulevard. You've seen her everywhere. Hey, I was on a bike. Which is really, I mean, if you're looking to get as much work as possible on a bike is the way to do it. You can find more at BethStelling.com. I've known Beth for a million years.

She's hilarious. Thank you. And we haven't seen each other in a long time. I know. It has been too long. What the heck? It's been a long time. I don't know. What the heck? I don't leave the house much.

It's easy to do. I know. To stay. I know. And you're on the road constantly now. Yeah, I'm a road dog right now. Yeah. BethStelling.com, go back slash tour.

Oh, oh. And we were just talking that you are a, well, it's not pro because nobody pays you. No. But you are like, well, it's not pro because nobody pays you. But you are like a world-class field hockey player. Because you're playing like- I play for the US Women's Masters Field Hockey Team, which is women 35 and up,

but you do have to try out every year. This year we're not taking a team, we're trying to build domestically. And then hopefully for 2026, we'll take out on another team. Oh, okay. But yeah, it's been fun. And I was just saying to you, in the past, last fall for example, I was like sprinting through, you know,

parks in New York City to like get ready and train for the World Cup in Cape Town. Right, while you're on the road. Yes, which is so hard and my goodness, in a hotel sprinting on a freaking treadmill. It's terrible Yeah, and since I have nothing to train for read live for Listen I get it. I get it different types of cigarettes. I'm with you sister. What's the point maxin?

Yeah, yeah, I if it weren't for my children and I tell them all the time you're the only reason I don't take the pipe They love it It's not at all a burden to them I know I feel like take the pipe has the connotation of like I Know what? Yeah, it's an old. It's an old phrase. Yeah, it's an old phrase, but it's a really good one. Yeah. Because it's... For kids? Yeah, yeah, sure.

They're not even sure what it means, but the context clues are there. So have you worked in... Well, hold on, I'm going to take my sweatshirt off. We could kill some time. Okay. Yeah, I'm a grizzled road dog. Guess how many hours I spent in the Chicago O'Hare Airport this week. How do you know for sure? You just sort of...

I mean, I know for sure it was at least nine hours. Wow. We got delayed upwards 13 times due to a maintenance issue. I almost missed my show for the first time in 18 years. I've never missed a road game. Wow. Wow. And I took the first time in 18 years. I've never missed a road gig. Wow, wow. And I took the earlier flight out of Chicago. I went to go see my friends from the GIF Theater in Chicago.

They're doing like a standup related, I don't wanna say performance piece, but they're like not calling it a play, but it's based in standup and it's called a obliteration. So I went and saw that in Chicago. There's only four shows left. Michael Patrick Thornton is one of the leads in Sid Blakewell, who I had met 20 years ago when I was the intern at the school at Steppenwolf.

So I went to go see this play, and in the morning, I was like, I'm gonna get the early flight to New York because I had a show in Kingston, so I could fly into Albany. And that was rough because we were out late. I get to the airport at freaking 620. My flight's at eight. Delay, delay, delay, delay. I get to the airport at freaking 620. My flight's at eight. Delay, delay, delay, delay.

I could have taken the 1 p.m. flight and landed just in time. But I chose, I was being responsible. The 11th hour, I'm like on the plane, the venue's texting me, we have to cancel. We have to tell people to cancel at 430 central time. It's like 429, it's the 11th hour. I'm like, they say we're the third on this runway.

I think I can make it. Cause I had to land in Albany and drive an hour and a half. And they're like, okay, just let us know when you take off. And I'm like, I'm taking off. And then I landed, got the rental car, drove as fast as I could. Crash through the back of the club. I got my period right as I parked, not kidding.

Wow. And the openers had to stall. Hope that was your lead joke. That was my opening. Hey everybody, I'm bleeding. Have you ever seen a live woman on her period? Pretty cool. It's pretty cool.

That's right, I'm fertile, boys. But not for long. Not for long. Yeah, I just recently had a trip to New York where I was supposed to leave Saturday at like four o'clock p.m. and I left Sunday at 1 30 p.m. No.

Yeah, yeah. And by the time we're going to name airlines or what? I'm about to post you and tell people to call in. I can't remember. Wait. Oh, it was Delta. It was Delta. And Delta's usually pretty good. I was just gonna say, they have a pretty immaculate record in my book. I actually never wanted to see United again.

And I disowned them for years. Yeah, United is bad. But then Moe Welch, one of my best friends, she swears by them. So I gave them another chance. It's been okay over the last couple years. But me and Kanae both were deeply harmed by them so much that I didn't use them for years. And I'm an American girl with Delta Second. But American lately, are they slipping?

Delta took over, especially when someone else is paying because their lounge is so nice. And I don't want to talk about it too much because I'll seem like an elitist dick, which I am. Sorry, folks. Especially when someone else is paying. Oh yeah. Because their lounge is so nice. Oh yeah. And I don't want to talk about it too much because I'll seem like an elitist dick, which I am. Sorry folks. And don't worry, I'm the opposite right here. I sometimes am allowed in the lounge

and I don't go in because I don't feel like I belong there. Do you really do that? Yes, I'm stuck in a bad place. That's dumb. That's dumb. I know. If only for the shitting. I was there for nine hours and I didn't go in.

What's wrong with me? What's, just, just, just, just. I don't know. It's like I don't deserve nice things or something. I forbid you to do that. Okay, next time you want. If you have access to the lounge, use the lounge. Honestly, I feel like I was platinum pro for a while.

Just for the toilet. I know. You know? What's our number? 855-266-2604. She's posting now. I mean, I did post, of course, a bunch of times. Of course.

I'm aware. But I'm doing it again. I'm aware. Call us. Yeah, but anyway, so yeah, they canceled my flight, but they said, it's not canceled, it's delayed overnight. That's crazy. I know.

Because then you can't get your freaking money back. That is so irritating. What am I supposed to do? Sleep in the airport? What did you do? Go home? I called, I was doing a, I had done a TV show, a spot on a CNN show, and I called the coordinator and they found me a room at the airport's, I want to say Hyatt.

Okay, so close enough, but you still had to take a shuttle, right? Yeah, I got in a cab and went to this and was there for six hours and then turned around and then waited. This is like a nightmare, though. Like, I think back to the day, ugh. See, I still am in this mindset where I used to fly southwest because there was the free bag. There were times on the road as a comic

where you just, like, you absolutely can't have any extra costs. I'm not taking an Uber to the airport. Are you kidding me? I'm asking a friend to please, I'm begging you, another comic who's also struggling. And I'll give you this gas money to take me to the airport. So when it's like, oh, your flight care,

it's like, what do you mean? Like, I still am like, so I'm calculating Ubers, I'm calculating what it's gonna cost me for their mess up. And the fact that they're delaying it, it's like offering, it's like when Hulu gave I Love You America a season one B. It's like, you just don't Love You America a season 1B. It's like, you just don't want to give us a freaking pay bump. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

You beeholes. Exactly. Yeah, I'll throw anybody under the bus. All right. I'm brooding bridges. Why won't you come up? What the hell? Oh, cause I'm a, I'm a Richter. Oh. Oh no, is it?

Richter comma Andy, I think. Maybe I have no service in here and it's a problem., uh, Richter. Oh, no, is it? Richter comma Andy, I think. Maybe I have no service in here and it's a problem. That could be it too. Whatever. I'm just going to post it. So they call us. Hopefully it works. I think if you put at Andy, it'll be Andy Cohen from Sirius XM.

He's also here. I'll tell you. Yeah. Don't worry. I'm not going to throw them into the bus. Sirius XM. While I'm here, it'll be later in the live. Right, right.

Exactly. You worked service industry jobs. You're kidding me? Yeah. Yeah. You've waited tables. Many tours in the service industry. Yeah, me too. I feel like, firstly, technical little jobs

would be babysitting here and there, pet sitting for sure. Did a paper route for a second. Yeah. What, they were paying us like 10 cents a paper or something insane. No, I had the same thing. I had two different paper routes.

One was a weekly like coupon clipper that was like 500 papers. And then I had a daily newspaper that was like 70 or 80. I think my sister Hannah recruited me for hers and gave me some cut of 10 cents. I have no clue. But my first real real job was Grater's Ice Cream. Grater's? Yeah, G-R-A-E-T-E-R-S. It's an Ohio staple. Right, right. Very rich French pot ice cream. Oh, French pot. Ooh la la. Yeah. No, at least when I was there, there's no like, oh, fat free, or the best you're gonna get is sorbet,

and that probably has like 17 cups of sugar in one bite. Right, exactly. So that was the beginning of it, but then you actually, did you actually wait tables? I did at Thirsty Dog Grill and Brewery, also in Dayton, Ohio. Okay. And that was, that's hard.

Yeah. Oh, I also, well, I did Mandalay Banquet Center, which is a whole, this is a different realm of the waiting tables thing. Cause you're not, I forget if we took orders, like, cause obviously that's going to be a limited menu. You're like, I'll take chicken or fish. I forget if we took orders, we may have,

or it was already decided and you just took the trays. If you have like, you know, you're trying to be a hero and put like all 12 over your shoulder. I don't know if I've blocked it out or it never happened. I feel like I dropped a tray. There's no doubt that I didn't drop a tray with a cover over it. Yeah, yeah, I don't think I ever dropped a tray,

but I do remember like a tray with a food and drink and the drink spilling on the food. So effectively, you know, not as dramatic. Right, it's so difficult. Not as dramatic. Yeah, it is a little easier to stack with the, is there a name for it? Whatever, cloche, not a cloche, a cover, whatever. Yeah, yeah, it's a, no, I think it is cloche. I think you're absolutely right, the dome.

Yeah, you have your finger, it has a hole for your finger to reveal the contents. Right, right. But yeah, that's where I also met one of my first, I guess, boyfriends there, Jason. Oh really? Yeah, he went to a different school, which was always such a big deal,

date somebody from a different school. Yeah, yeah. So weird. Exotic. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But yeah, so that was some time there. Waiting tables would have been mostly Thirsty Dog. And then I went into the bagel business for years.

Oh. Yeah, Bagel and Deli in Oxford, Ohio, when I was in college. And then I just transferred after I graduated to Chicago Bagel Authority. Another graduate of my college had opened it in Chicago. And I was there for years. Steamed bagel sandwiches is what we did.

Some people find it disgusting and think they're wet. It's like a whole no toaster thing. But yeah, it's a steamer. Like you make the sandwich. Well bagels are boiled, so it's, you know. You make the sandwich, like for example, cool jewels or something. You're gonna cut a bioli bagel. Sure.

And put some veggie cream cheese on the bottom. Yes. Layer of turkey, Colby cheese, put it in the steamer. You might want to put the top face down and then this meat up. Sure. Stssstststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss And at the bagel shop in Oxford, we didn't cut it in half, but in Chicago, we do. Yeah, yeah. Sounds, uh... And you had to memorize all the bagels. That was the thing. Like, the thing you want most in a sandwich,

which is warm and damp. Yeah. I loved them so much. They were so popular. We would be open till 3 in the morning. I bet it is pretty tasty. We got the after bar. I'm telling you, after bar belly button to butt. I don't know what I'm talking about.

Whatever. Anyway, just stacked. And all these drunk kids are in there'm talking about. Anyway, just stacked. And all these drunk kids are in there and you're serving, taking orders. It was wild. Yeah, yeah. Did you generally have like a positive kind of,

I mean, the money's better than most places you can make. Yeah, I would say positive. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean. Because waiting tables was always the best money that I had access to, aside, well, until, and then I started working for a moving company. And that was better. That was better money.

But yeah, waiting tables, I just- Oh, barista. I was a barista for one time. The hardest thing for me was just knowing that, like, for the next two minutes, getting this asshole his iced tea refill- Right. that I forgot once is the most important thing in my life yeah I think that just like yeah that's honestly though I everybody seems to have ADHD these days or whatever I

know it's like so rampant it's always but I had that old-school diagnosis yeah yeah and I think think in some ways, having all those multiple things is good for me. I feel like I did everything in high school. I was like, I've got this and this and this going on and that worked. When it came to waiting tables, it was just like a mounting pressure of forgetting.

Like it was too much for me. I just couldn't do it. Yeah. I wanna be better at it. And if something happens that distracts you from the list that you've decided you remember. Yeah. I mean, to completely forget to put an order in. Are you kidding me?

I've done that. I did that. Oh boy. The table's waiting, where's your food? You're like, oh my gosh. Oopsie. Never put it in. Sorry. That's crazy.

Yeah, yeah. Oh well. So stressful. Well. But it's good for you, builds character. It is good for you. And I have that to fall back on. Yeah. Oh,'s good for you, builds character. It is good for you, and I have that to fall back on. Yeah.

Oh, now that show business is no longer. I know, whoops. Oh well. Let's go to the phone. Oh, I like this. Somebody's got an old country buffet story. It's Catherine from Memphis. Catherine.

You got Beth Stelling and Andy Richter. Hi. Oh, hi, I'm so happy to be talking to both of you I'm such a fan of both of you. Oh, thank you. Thank you, Catherine So I I did I live in Memphis right now. I live there since 2012, but I grew up in what I think is actually Technically Andy is hometown. I know you're a Chicago guy, but you were born in Grand Rapids, right? I was born in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Yeah, but we left there when I was a baby. Right. And I guess this is just me proving my fan credentials,

but your dad worked at Grand Valley for like a minute, right? He certainly did. And that's where my cousin went to school and played soccer. Oh, wow. I'm not kidding. What a small world. So I went there for college and all four years I was there, plus my senior year of high school, I worked at the Midwestern institution, old country buffet.

I think in Ohio, Beth, was it hometown buffet, old country buffet? Did you have these? I think we, both are sounding familiar. I almost- Yeah, me too. We went to Turnabout, you know, where the gal asks the guy, that's where we took our guys, was a little country buffet or a hometown country buffet.

They're both ringing bells. It was very much a Midwestern staple and I can say whatever I want about them because they're all gone. They did not survive COVID, I'm sure. But there are no branches like disease. Well, Golden Corral managed to, but all the other ones, I think,

I think there's a few ponderosas left. Yeah, yeah. But it was, I worked there, so yeah, I was there for four years. I gained 30 pounds. I got sick of everything but the dessert. Of course. Yeah. Who's gonna get sick of pudding?

Oh yeah, that's so true, but everything else. You know, there's still like a Cherry Cobbler and it absolutely had like a pre-made crust, but I'm still like, I could go for that. Yeah, yeah. That's not bad. still like, I could go for that. It's not that bad. Any pie I'll go for. And we had mainly, we mainly had like families. I mean, a lot of older people that were like,

maybe on a fixed income, or maybe were, you know, some maybe widowers who like, maybe their wives did all the cooking. And so they kind of had to like come to our restaurant to eat. But then we had a lot of families. And the kids were like, they were just feral. They would lie about their kids' ages. Have you seen this? Oh yeah. Yes. My sister-in-law had my daughter saying she was two at Disneyland until she was four.

And my daughter would tell people, they'd say, how old are you? And she'd say, I'm four, but I'm two at Disneyland. Good bit, good first bit. Yeah, yeah. Like you'd see them in like the hallway walking up and like the mom would be like poking the kid in the back. You're like, you're nine, remember you're nine.

And you walk up and I'm like, yeah, your nine year old has a mustache. And they would like, you know, a lot of fans, like I get it now a little bit, like the kids were a little bit, I have two kids now and I'm like, yeah, kids are a little bit feral, but like you do kind of have to keep, you know, a little bit of a rein on them. But they would let their kids run around. They would, you know, especially again, people who are trying to make the most of their dollar would like just basically tell them to eat until they got sick effectively like I know that because they would clearly like not want to eat anymore and get

like they just wanted them to keep eating and sometimes they did get sick which was unpleasant and also it doesn't work that way no you know like it's like if you eat a lot today that doesn't mean you don't have to eat tomorrow. It doesn't push into a second stomach. Yeah, unless you're on Survivor or something. We're not bovine. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like that's just a terrible instruction

for a child to make yourself so sick. I mean, the thing we're all chasing is moderation. Yes, and I think, well, but I don't think buffets are like, I don't think there's a lot of good judgment that goes on at most buffets. No, and there was a kid I once saw, he made a hot fudge sundae on a dinner plate, like the base was a dinner plate.

Oh my God. Was it only one plate allowed? Like what were the rules? I don't think there weren't. You could eat as much as you want. They wouldn't take away your plate when you were done. I mean. But it was cheaper for kids, which is why they're lying.

Yes. Yeah, beyond a certain age, like nine is the cutoff. Yeah. I'm assuming. It was like 50 cents per year of their age. Yeah, like up until they were 12, it was 50 cents per year of their age. Well, where do we used to weigh in?

My mom would weigh us in and that was what we paid. What? Yes, step on the scale, the ground round. It was called the ground round. And you would step on the scale. They would weigh children at the ground round? Yeah, and if you were like 75 pounds, you paid 75 cents. And was that the peanut shells on the floor place?

I feel like that was so different. Yeah, no, I think the ground round was also the peanut shells on the floor place. I thought that was was Roadhouse. It was my parents actually met at a ground round. Your parents met at a ground round and your father saw your mother getting weighed and was like Oh, hello That's a cheap date It was in Detroit and like they were they were a cook and she was he was a cook and she was a waitress And they used to let the they used to let the wait staff eat But they wouldn't give them the surf and turf because that was like too expensive

Of course And so my dad would my dad would be like yeah, I used to slipper the shrimp But i'm like dad he's like no, I mean like the actual shrimp He's like i'm not referring to my junk as shrimp size Yes. Yes. I'm at least a langoustine for your information. But I feel like you're gonna get a lot of, I mean, similar stories today, just people being absolutely terrible to white staff.

Of course. Yeah. What are you supposed to be an investigator? You're not like, let me see some ID, kid. You know what I mean? Like, okay, fine, they're not. Right, right, oh, exactly. No, no, I didn't really care.

But there is a thing too, I think that I was taught, which is like, I am a rule follower ultimately. And I think there is that thing, like of course corporate's gonna be like, and don't let them in if they X, Y or Z. And then you have this thing as an adult, like say you're trying to cancel spectrum, right? And it's like, why are you on their side?

Just let me cancel. Like who are you? Why are you on their side? Just let me cancel. Right. Like who are you really working for? Do they give you extra if you don't let somebody cancel? Where's the incentive here? No. And they're not incentivizing you to like make sure a kid doesn't eat who's under nine.

But there was like this desire in me to be like, I gotta follow the rules. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we saw people that would like shove food in Tupperware. Yeah. And like if it was pretty blatant and we saw it cause they weren't supposed to take anything home. Like every once in a while, if we saw someone

that was clearly like in a bad situation, we were like, it's fine. Yeah. Right. We're not gonna put it back. So, but like if we saw it and it was pretty blatant, we did have to be like, hey, it's all you can eat here, not take it home. Yeah, excuse me.

So people were still like, even though it's a buffet they still like were entitled Yeah, my dad kind of warned me about this He's like you're gonna get a lot of like middle management guys who don't have a lot of power during the week Yeah, and they're just gonna like unload all of their frustration onto some poor server And yeah, and we didn't even have servers. We had just had bussers. But we still didn't make minimum wage. I was a cashier sometimes, but I worked the tables. And we just needed like every third or fourth table to throw us a dollar, because we had big sections.

But we didn't always make minimum wage. Oh my God. What a fucking world. I know, I'm like, I guess everybody's always been bad. Yeah, yeah. I was just in Seattle and minimum wage is like 20, 22 or something. Oh yeah, it's rough.

That's amazing though. It's a rough gig, but my other job that didn't pay minimum, that did pay at least minimum wage, cause it wasn't tipped, was I was the mascot. Oh, that's cool. They had a bumblebee. Oh, oh, at the old country buffet. Our engineer Rich is going, yes, he has fond memories of the bumblebee apparently.

Oh, really? I thought it was like a collective trauma memory. I didn't know if other people have this. This is pretty iPod though. No, it was a bumblebee. Pictures still exist of it places, but it was like a friendly looking bee because it was an OCD, like bee.

Old kind of. And it didn't have a stinger and it had a pretty friendly face, but like it's alarming. It's a giant bumblebee. Like kids were scared of me. Oh yeah. Were you out front or walking around?

Well, we would sometimes, like once a week, we would come out and like hand out coupons and fill out balloons and stuff and like most kids would run up and see us and then the odd kid would just scream and run away which made sense. Did anybody kick you? We would go out in the community. Sorry? Yeah.

Did anybody hurt you? Oh, kick me. No, no one really touched me very much. It was just kind of like, you know, and it wasn't a fully protective costume. Like I was still just wearing regular black pants, but there was a big head, you couldn't see out of it. And so you couldn't see who was in the costume. And my brother and I both worked at the restaurant and he is about my height.

And so people would like lean over and be like, hey, is that Catherine or Patrick? But you could tell because my brother could dance. Like he's a good, like he does hip hop dance and stuff. And he's a good dancer. And I am fully not. He's a hip-hop bee. And so we went to this event once at a school at like a largely like a largely black and Latino school and we were just passing out coupons and stuff at like some you know carnival or something and these kids were getting skeptical and they were looking at me and they're

like well what does the bee do? Does the bee do tricks or something? And I start like, you know, white girl two-stepping or whatever I was doing. And the kid goes, oh, the bee is white. Ah! Ah, that's so bad. It's Catherine. Yeah, yeah.

That's like the boys now in my family like, no, Catherine, the bee is white, stop dancing. When my wife was in, I don't know if it was when she was in high school or on summers when she was in college. And a lot of her friends, they worked at Disneyland. And my wife was Winnie the Pooh, Chip and or Dale, and also Roger Rabbit,

because they used to have Roger Rabbit. And she told me that once a kid grabbed her boob and said, Roger Rabbit's got boobs. And she pinched the kid. And the kid went, ow, Roger Rabbit pinched me. And the mom was like, no, Roger Rabbit did not pinch you. Ha ha ha. You touched Roger Rabbit's boobs. Yeah, no, Roger Rabbit did not pinch you. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. You touched Roger Rabbit's boobs.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. You get what you deserve. I never had a kid hit me in a costume, but I did have when I was just, you know, taking away tables in my normal workout fit, this like, I don't know, five years, like old enough to know better, five or six year old kid just smacked my ass.

Oh my God. And I like looked at the parents like, and the dad was just like, well, he's starting early, isn't he? Ew. Oh dear. Oh dear. I know. No.

No, but. It was all horrible. I was there, like, I probably should have moved, when I turned 18, I probably should have moved to a different restaurant that served alcohol and was like pay better. But I did stay and there were these really sweet moments like we had for Valentine's Day.

If you were married for 50 years, you got a free meal. Oh, that's sweet. That's nice. You had to bring in your marriage certificate and like we didn't think a bunch of people did it. Wow. And I was just checking in these cute old couples and I saw this one couple,

I think they'd been married for like 61 years. And I said, wow, I was like 19. I was like, I can't imagine doing anything for 61 years. And the little old man goes, neither can I, but she won't let me die. Oh my gosh. She's like, I'm bringing you here, aren't I? Yeah, yeah, here you go.

All right, well, Catherine, thank you so much. No problem, it was lovely talking to you. It was great talking to you. You too. All right, we're at 855-266-2604 talking restaurant stories. We got Jules from Maryland. Story about the salad bin. Never heard of it.

Hey, how's it going? Good, what a terrible name, the salad bin. I actually am not the salad bin, maybe there it going? Good. What a terrible name, the Salad Bin. I actually am not the Salad Bin. Maybe there's another Jules. Oh. What are you, if not the Salad Bin? What is your story? Yeah, what's your story, Jules?

I don't care. It doesn't matter. I'll talk to you about whatever. My tale, that I will try to make it sound funny and not too sad, which is that I worked in a restaurant and the manager threw me in the fountain. Ooh, okay. Was it a Mexican restaurant? It was a Greek restaurant in Florida.

Okay, but it had a courtyard fountain. Florida is all I needed to hear. I worked at Casa Lupita and we had a fountain. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it had one of those like outside, like, you know, big fountains that was running you around. And well, okay, so what happened?

Why, was it just random? Did he carry you out? No, so. Were you sitting there? Yes, so I worked at one of those restaurants that served alcohol and that paid better. That wasn't the country buffet, there? Yes. So, so I worked at one of those restaurants that served alcohol and that paid better and that wasn't the country buffet, right? Right.

But the, the trade off was that the managers would all, you know, spend the entire shift drinking Patron. Oh boy. And then towards the end of the day, they would find one of the, like, you know, young waitresses, like drop somebody in the fountain. Oh, so it was like tradition. Tradition. Yeah. And so like as an adult, I'm horrified by the story. But at the time, I had not worked in a restaurant before. And I didn't realize that I had gotten myself into, right?

Yeah. And also, it's just like, when you're young, you don't know that you're like that you should be afforded some dignity. Yeah. You know, I know you're like, I don't deserve respect or dignity. I guess everyone could just humiliate me whenever they want. Okay. If I don't let them drop me in this fountain, I might lose my job. Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm, I'm just here. You know, you're straight out of that like school mindset where like you have to respect authority. Right, right. So how does it happen?

They just grab you and run out of the restaurant with you and is this not upsetting for the diners? This is the part that like in retrospect is the weirdest part is that how they definitely grabbed me by the waist and like carried me out of this restaurant like and this wasn't like after close during dinner service yeah and I like yelling for my co-workers to take my sneakers off so that I didn't ruin my like payless shoes yeah yeah by having them be soaked in the fountain right you're gonna be squishing around like you were just at SeaWorld.

Just soaking wet, you know, head to toe. And I still had like a table that I was in. Yeah, you still had tables. That's what I was gonna say. You probably still had- What the heck? It was at the end of the work day. That's nuts. So you just showed back up to your table dripping wet?

I did, yeah. You're like, hey, sorry I- My manager. I'm sorry you didn't have your iced tea. I did. Yeah. You're like, Hey, sorry. My manager. I don't have your iced tea. I jumped in it. And the other, uh, and the other owner or manager was just like, like pouring a shot down my throat. No, I was just like, I did not like, yeah, it was, it was, it was a bad experience. I was like, okay, I'm never working in restaurants ever again, got it.

Then did you, I mean, once it happens once, is it gonna, like, did you work there much longer after that? No, but I think some of the other people that went through it, like they stayed there, you know? They didn't, they got dumped in the fountain and they didn't quit. Yeah. I mean, look, they were hazed in.

I think I came back on Monday and I was just like, like, I'm going to pick up my my check. I'm not going to keep working here. Yeah. And how old are you at this point? Then? I was 21. OK. And are you living at home? Yeah, I was living at home. I was like home from college for the summer.

And what do your folks say about like, oh yeah, at work, an adult male threw me into the fountain and another adult male of Greek origin, I'm unassuming, poured booze down my throat. Do they go like, oh cool. I think I left out the second part because I just felt like the first part

was enough of a story for my parents. But yeah, I was just like, so this place is a little too rambunctious and I think I'm gonna quit. And they said, yeah, you should quit. That's a good idea. See now I'm not even one of those kinds of dads, but if somebody had done that, I would be like,

you know what, I think I'm gonna go down there and talk to them. I mean, I'm not gonna beat them up or anything, but I think I really am gonna go down there and talk to them and say, hey guys, fucked up. I know, I'm like, I wonder if they, I don't know when this was, cause like Yelp hasn't been around forever,

but it's like, can you imagine a Yelp review that's like, well, we were having a perfectly good experience until our waiter came back soaking wet. Yeah, yeah. Smelling of booze. Smelling of booze. That would be like on TikTok or something. Yeah, yeah.

This was in the... The undocumented era. The mid 2000s. Yeah. Yeah. But still, you know, this century. I know. You know? And I don't remember like how much longer the restaurant

stayed open But I don't think it was what do you mean? They're not around Yeah, I've been there for that long and it didn't stay around. It wasn't like the love local institution such-and-such, right? Right. I would I wish they a Gordon Ramsay had been sicked on them. Oh You can't throw in the fucking fountain Right, right. I wish Gordon Ramsay had been sicked on them. Oh, man. You can't throw it in the fucking fountain. I think I downplayed the whole thing to my face because I was just so embarrassed. Right. And of course, it's trauma.

They also didn't pay me for a lot of my work. pay me for like a lot of my work. Oh no. And I remember having this like drawn out, like conversation with like the wage and hour department of the Department of Labor to like try to get my money. And that didn't work either. So I was just like, okay. Yeah, life's a nightmare.

I'm done with all of you guys. Jesus Christ. Plus you're probably getting paid like $2.29 an hour plus tips. Well, I don't blame the Greeks. I mean, I do for a lot of stuff, but not that. Well, Jules, thank you. I will say they had the best comments. Well, thank you for sharing. I'm glad you're away from those people and I'm glad they're out of business. I'm glad you're dry. Yes, I hope. Kelly from Chicago, you're on next.

Kelly? Hey, Andy. Hey, Bob. Hi. How are you? Hi. Good. How are you guys doing?

Great. We're good. Oh, good. I guess I'm just rolling. I hope to see Beth in Chicago this summer when she comes on our tour. Oh, yay. That would be amazing.

I'll be there at the den June 6th and 7th Yeah, which I've never been to so you're gonna love it and tickets. Yes. Oh, it's a really cool venue in Wicker Park. Oh Nice. Yeah, I live in a suburb of Chicago, but that's it's a Easy to get to so close to my story takes yeah close enough My story takes place in Iowa City when I went to University of Iowa for teaching just like your mom. I got my teaching degree there and I had to prove residency to have a cheaper tuition and I started my freshman year working part-time and school part-time.

And have you heard of the pizza chain, Happy Joe's Pizza? No. No. I feel bad because there are some locations. Was it not so happy? Wait, you filled out what? I said I feel bad because there are still locations like they have important stuff, but is it okay to share my story?

Yes. Yeah, no to share my story. Yeah no share your story if Joe if Joe wants to be known as happy then he better be keeping his past employees happy. Yeah. I'm assuming Joe is a male. Yeah well this is like you know mid to late 90s. Okay. And I got to was getting trained and they have a special pizza called the taco pizza and they make the sauce with refried beans and pizza sauce

and so he's showing me how to do it. It's like a Home Depot type bucket. Of course. Yeah. First alarm and then you know dry it, you put in refried beans are dry and you put hot water, soak them, they absorb the water when they're all ready to go, you dump the pizza sauce. And then he's like, you really got to get the refried beans mixed in really well with the sauce. And so you put your arm in the bucket, take your hand, smush it into the refried beans at the bottom of the bucket. He learned that from Julia Child.

And just really get in there. What's that? I said he learned that from Julia Child. Yeah. And your hand is, I'm assuming your hand is ungloved. The classic long arm-like rubber gloves. Well, like the cattle birthing gloves, you know? Like when you got to reach into a cow that go up to the shoulder.

Yes, that's what I was expecting. But no, there was no gloves. Just a classic hand wash. Yeah. And so that was a big turn off, but I did it. He was watching me. I did it. And so that's how I was trained.

And then I kept doing it the way they told me to. And then one day I did it, reached my hand out and all my nail polish was gone. Oh. Oh my God. Those caustic beans. I know, meanwhile they're like, yes, burn these beans with hot water

and then put your arm in nude, your nude arm. Wait, so like, and it was polish that would normally have taken polish remover to remove, correct? For sure. Oh my God, what the fuck is in Happy Joe's Mexican pizza sauce? I can't.

Well, it's either that or it was cheap nail polish. I'm not quite sure. Okay. But still, it's amazing. Yeah. Did you have to dump? From then on, I took the initiative to get a garbage bag, one of those small ones, and I used that from then on.

As a glove. Good idea, good idea. But wait, did you go ahead and use that, that bucket of, of bean sauce or did you, did you dump it? I don't blame you if you didn't tell. I did not tell. I might have told the dough guy because we were friends, but yeah. I didn't tell anyone. You can always trust the dough guy to keep a secret. Yeah, I mean, honestly, I kind of feel like the happy Joe's customers, they're probably like, they're barely tasting, they understand a little bit of nail polish, you know, different if it was press on nails, like, obviously, I want

to get those out. Because yeah, because that would be crunchy. We're all eating paint. Yeah. Get over it. Yeah, no kidding. Live a little. It is in a Home Depot bucket. Yeah, exactly. Amazing, Kelly. That's hilarious. Yeah. And then another thing was that the plumber came

cause there was an issue with the bathroom and this was so gross. Come to find out for months, the sewage line was leaking into the line that went into the coke machine, you know, like, holy, no, no, I had been drinking a coke on every shift, at least one coke. Oh, well, you have the diarrhea leaking into the coke. Like, first of all, that seems like an engineering fail. Oh, how the fuck did those two get intermingled in any way Kelly?

No, the water line somehow and I said to them I remember being in college I'm like, oh so we shouldn't drink the coke and the manager's like I wouldn't but oh Just the customers. Yeah, Kelly It's good enough for them. I've been eating at Happy Joe's for over 20 years and I've never gotten sick. I Have explosive diarrhea around the clock, but Never been sick Alright Kelly, thanks for the call Thanks for the call and sorry Happy Joe's. I'll have I hope we see you in June.

Yes. I will definitely make it there. Thank you. Thanks, Kelly. And remind her. I'm the one that lost the nail polish. Mexican pizza from Happy Joe's. I brought you a Coke from Happy Joe's.

All right. Thanks, Kelly. All right. We're at 855-266-2604. Beth Stellings here with me and Charles from Sacramento has a story for us about Tending That Bar. All right, how's it going guys? Good, thanks. Good. Oblatory, huge fan of both of you. Thank you. Andy, I'm a high school teacher currently. If I'm having you. Andy, I'm a high school teacher currently.

If I'm having a rough day, I look up Andy Victor Zinger on YouTube. Oh, that's nice. Thank you. I love that. Yeah, and for you Beth, you actually had your TV debut on Tonein, right? Yeah, I did. I did in 2012. Wow. I know. We go way back. So, can we start with that? All right. So, currently high school teacher, but I have 15 to 20 years. I did bartending experience, banquets, event management. The place, the story that I'm going to do is a big conglomerate that is obviously still

around. The big golf complex we all know and maybe love is Topgolf. Oh yeah. Yes. Okay. So I was an event associate at a few different locations and doing so you get a roster. This is the party you're going to be running. You'll take care of their drinks. you take care of their food, make sure they're having a good time playing golf, and just a great time. They'll have two to three booths, 20 to 30 guests, just, you know, have a great time. And I loved it because that is my comedy kind of thing that I can do. I would never do stand up way too nervous, but hey, here I can, you know, play it up,

ham it up, get good tips. You're feeding them and giving them booze. They're gonna like you. Yeah and there Swinging at golf balls while not falling into the net or doing for not for what is the Adam Sandler? Happy Gilmore run. Right? Right more run. Yes coming this July to Netflix. So Happy Gilmore run. Right, right. Happy Gilmore run. Yes. Coming this July to Netflix.

So, number two, yes. So we actually had to tell that as part of our rule, rule number five, no Happy Gilmores. Yeah. So I did a bachelorette party. Uh-oh. Dun, dun, dun. Hey.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. So the first hint was the penis cookies. Yes, yes, it's always gotta be penis. Always penis. I'm a ball gal, so I don't know what you guys are talking about. Step one. You're the one, the one. Step two, yes.

Okay, so step two, they're going to get an hour to two hours of golf. They get the games, all the golf balls to fight that Okay, great your hour ones going great. They're getting the food They're just doing a first or second round of drinks. They get their special drinks that unique one cool great our two things are starting to change and You know get a little more rowdy a little crazier, you know, I'm getting the hug, I'm getting a butt grab, you know, all that fun stuff.

Hey, it's all good. Ladies, have fun. Okay, sure. Yeah, you're not dressed like a bee at an old country buffet. Yeah, right, exactly. You gotta expect it. No, but man, those penis cookies make them crazy. Yeah, but I have to go back to that Greek restaurant.

I had worked at a Greek restaurant. I knew these three dishes, did not know they're three servers. That was a new thing for me. Yeah. So when does it turn ugly with the, I know it's turning ugly. I sense an ugly turn coming. Okay. So luckily no one fell into the net.

If you fall into the net, you've seen how many TikToks of it. Not a good thing. We shut the floor down paramedics have to come. Nothing that never happens. Yeah. On my watch, uh, years of working there at different locations. I always saw it on TikTok. But, uh, I did get a little ring,a-ring from the maintenance crew. The maintenance crew, they're the ones who collect the balls and all that good stuff. Mr. Lewis, please come down to maintenance really quick. I had my backup server watching for a little bit.

I come down, talk to them on ground floor because the event was on level three. Are you covering this in this party? Yes, I am. Could you tell them to refrain from throwing what do you think and what do you think onto the field? I'll let you guys guess. Bras and panties? Good guess. I would say condoms and I don't know, dental dams?

Condoms and dental dams. Dildos. Dildos. Wait, dildos. And what else? Pocket pussies. The backside. Oh, butt plugs.

Butt plugs. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Throwing them, I mean, that's an expensive throw. No shit, yeah. I can see. Well, when you have seven. You throw beads for a reason.

Right. You don't throw dildos. And I can see using a more impressive dildo to hit a golf ball, like that seems like fun, and, you know, a bachelorette party themed. But yeah, but why throw the dildos? What a waste of dildos and butt plugs. The large round targets, they're big circular,

they're empty space. You get points, anything goes in there, not just balls. Oh boy. See, and this is, and it also, it just, it exposes them as pikers. Like they're not really into the dildo butt plug game. No. It's all a show for them.

Sheesh. Honestly. But where did they, I did not see them when they came in. Right, right. They smuggled them in. They were heading for a reason. Right, right.

Well now, so, what, do you go up there and say, all right, gals, enough with the rubber dicks and the lava lamps. I would say thanks for the tip, but I've received enough. Let's leave, let's leave that stuff that goes on the field to golf. I just say golf, not just balls. Right. I say balls, golf, balls only. Right. And do you deliver the dildos back to them or are they now property of the maintenance crew? They're property of the maintenance crew. I don't go back there for a reason. Didn't work there, but no one went back there for a reason. Yeah, yeah. Oh. All right, Charles, thank you. Thank you very much, Charles. Of course, thank you so much for having me.

Yeah, that is, I used to live down the street on Sixth Avenue, like around the corner on Sixth Avenue, from a, you know, like a porno shop, a dildo shop. Yeah, yeah, romantic. And just constant, and it's, you know, it's 6th Avenue, it's really a busy street. And just, I can't tell you how many like bachelor parties walking out with just enormous dildos and like. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha old lady put red yarn on her on her suitcase yeah so she can tell it it's

like listen every old lady puts red yarn on her suitcase yeah like maybe green yarn and it's and it was the same thing with the Bachelorette it's like yeah here this is different yeah come on I don't even know what different I don't even and it's just it's so I don't know it what different. I don't even, and it's just, it's so, I don't know. It's almost like a ancient fertility rite or something. He he. Um, Jason from Laguna Beach. Hello? Jason.

Hello. Hi. Hi. How you doing? Hello. Oh hi Andy, hi Beth. Hi. Nice to talk to you.

Well thank you. Hi, big fan. Thank you, thank you. What you got going on? Well, mine is pretty good. Nice to talk to you. Well thank you. Hi, big fan. Thank you, thank you. What you got going on? Well, mine is pretty good. Let's see. All right.

I was a banquet bartender. Nice. About 20 years ago. Here in Laguna Beach at Laguna Cliffs Resort. And I worked there for like three months and they told us, hey you guys, come in, big meeting. We're having a special two day event. It's the Charlton Heston Celebrity Gun Shoot.

Ooh, dear. Ooh, wow. Wow. And we were like, what's that? And they go, well, there'll be about 100, 200 people. It will be mostly a lot of celebrities, people, you know. So don't take any pictures and don't talk to them unless they talk to you. So they're treating us like we were a Kathy Bates in misery. Like, I'm a big fan. Like we're lunch a hillbilly. Right.

I thought that was. Strange I said okay so I remembered like it was yesterday I went in we prepared I put my banquet bar in a little roll away and I and my little tux with my bow tie pushed it out to the pool in your bulletproof vest. The first I looked at my little monkey vest and the first person who came out was Frank Stallone. Wow. The big jacket that said Frank Stallone on it so you know who it was. No way. No name tag necessary.

No way. Yeah. I couldn't believe it. And then I'm standing there and Frank walks up and he grabs ice with his hands out of my bucket. No. And I'm thinking, that's disgusting. Agreed.

Who's going to be using this ice? Yeah. And I'm like, whatever.. Agreed. What's going to be using this ice? Yeah. And I'm like, whatever. And then so other people start coming in. Michael Chick was walks in and he and Frank Stallone are chatting it up. And, uh, and then, uh, and people sort of come in, you know, it was kind of amazing just for a kid who was, you know, I was raised in Chicago. I'm from Chicago. Okay. And, uh, I came out here to California and so I, you know, watched the love boat or fantasy Island back in the day and our chips and all these people just came rolling in. Eric Estrada came in and he had a little name

tag that said Tony Orlando on it. Little joke from Eric. Oh boy. Oh boy. And, uh, and, and also Catherine, let's see Catherine from Sex and the City. She was, oh, Kim Cattrall. Oh, Kim, yeah. No, she's- Kim Cattrall, I've never- Samantha? Yeah, Samantha.

Yeah. The sexy one? With Samantha. Yeah. The very sexy one, and this was like 20 some years ago, I'll never forget. She was extremely beautiful. She came in wearing like a white foot dress

and came up to me and gave me a big- What kind of gun? It's cream surrender. Well here's the weird thing I couldn't understand. I'm like well I don't think these people all look like gun nuts but apparently it's all like you said before Andy free booze and food. Yeah yeah. A stay at the resort hotel in the Laguna Cliffs like overlooking the Pacific. Actually it's Dana Point you know, it's beautiful. Yeah. And so they get like free housing and they get free booze and food

and now get to like hobnob with each other. Right. And they have like a gambling night and they all shoot guns and they have like a little competition. And Charlton Heston showed up at the very last night. He came in and it was like, oh, he did show up. And he shows up with a big like wig on his head

and comes in and and gets up there. Hi folks, Charlton Heston, making a speech about the Second Amendment. And it was really, really weird. And I'll never forget. And the strangest one for me was Jean Smart came in with her husband, she of Hacks, and Designing Women, who I knew Jean Smart, I watched her on Designing Women

and with my mom. And I'm like, wow, what a thrill. And she walks right up to me and she goes, hey honey, how's it going? Can you give me a favor? I'm like, sure. Hey, can you keep my purse for me? I'm afraid if I have a few too many drinks, I'll just forget it.

And I'm like, sure. And so, you know, I'm thinking, I've known her all of two seconds. Jason looks trustworthy. Yeah, she handed me her purse and I'm like, okay. And I stuck it under my bar, I forgot about it. I did not go through it. I just stuck it under my bar.

Good job, Jason. Probably four guns in there. Probably, you know, the pro-handled pistol or something. Yeah, yeah. So I'm like, okay. And then she, like four hours goes by, five, six hours. It's late at night, I see her pottering out, having, let's just say say feeling no pain. Yeah

Yeah, she was quite quite in a good mood, right and and I said, oh miss smart your purse and she's like, oh, thanks Honey, I'd forget my head if it wasn't screwed on and That's exactly the gene smart I would want. Yeah. Exactly. Wow. It was great. She was so nice and so down to earth. And then, and the weirdest one, the whole thing was all like controlled by one big celebrity was a Joe Montagna. Oh wow. What?

And so I remember sitting there and this is true. Joe Montagna ran this whole event and at the end of the night they're giving out prizes for their gun shooting. They went to a range and all shot their guns and the winner of this entire competition was Ian Ziering. It's Ian. It's Ian Ziering. How dare I? Yeah. I did not know it was Ian. Wow. So yeah it was Ian Ziering. He gets the award for best shot and his ward wife at the time who was a playboy,mate I've never seen a woman look more bored and disinterested than in my life Nikki Nikki's earring she's like rolling her eyes and he gets his prize and then they go hey Joe Montaigne here's you're from Chicago Joe so here's a replica of

a Tommy gun and they gave him this Tommy gun. He's like oh thanks and then at the end so the whole thing was crazy. Like I said, all these famous people want, and Miss Christy McNichol was there gambling, and they had a gambling table. And then at the end of this whole event, it was all over. And Joe Montagna and I were the last people standing there. I remember looking at him, I said, hey man, I got to push this entire bar back into the hotel. The lighter it is, the easier it is for me.

Can I get you anything or Coke? And he was like, yeah, sure kid, I gotta push this entire bar back into the hotel. The lighter it is, the easier it is for me. Can I get you anything or coke? And he was like, yeah, sure kid, get me a coke. Oh. Yeah. Jason, do you have something? Yeah, no. Oh, I'm still here.

Yeah, yeah, no. My favorite part is that Frank Stallone was wearing a jacket that said Frank Stallone. Like was it, did it say Frank Stallone on the back? Like. Yeah, yeah, it said Frank Stallone on the back. It's a kind of rhinestone with like a dark leather jacket. So it's supposed to look cool.

Like he's the Fonz I suppose. Wow. But that way you can tell the world, it's Frank Stallone. Right. Hey, who's this, who's this jerk? Hey, whoa, it's Frank Stallone. Oh, it's Frank Stallone, wow. I didn't know, sir.

And I thought, here's the part where he dipped his hand in and grabbed ice cubes, it was so. Oh, it's Frank Stallone. Wow. I didn't know sir And I thought he's a part of dip his hand in and grab the ice cubes. It was so gross I know what was he just gonna chew on him? What was he doing? Where did he put him? Did he grab a cup? No, I think he had him in a drink and he could have asked me but I had a big silver server I mean, we're all like I said like tuxedos with bow ties and I'm like standing like four inches from him, right? I'm like, it is so gross. It's I'm like, ugh. It is so gross. It's like a total health code violation. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Totally.

I can't believe, yeah, when did the eye and xering go with eye and instead of Ian? I think forever. Okay. I think it's just Jersey. Oh really? It's just a Jersey thing. I just have never heard of another eye and.

No, no, it should be Ian. It's just that- Well, it's Ian McShane, I think the actor. am no no it should be Ian. It's just that is Ian McShane. I think the actors You know it's Ian. It should be Ian and he just it's I am and and then I'm sure like it's also on D I'm sure that it was like his mom Missed always liked seeing the name in print or somebody and then they mispronounced it now He goes through his whole fucking life. I know. I wanna know if it was like him moving to LA though

and being like, hearing something stupid like it's better if you sound more exotic. Well I think he's from New Jersey, so for him maybe in Jersey it's iron and that sounded more elegant or something. It must be a Jersey thing. Dite Jersey. It's gotta be.

No offense Jersey. He also married a playboy playmate, so that's pretty uppity too, how cool. That's pretty Jersey too. Yeah, yeah. Jersey all around. A bored, dis playboy playmate, so that's pretty uppity too, how cool. That's pretty Jersey too. Yeah, yeah. Jersey all around. A bored, disinterested playmate. All right.

That was great, Jason. Thanks for sharing. Thank you, Jason. Thanks, Beth. That was awesome. That was great. Oh my god, so many. I just, like, Christy McNichol at a gun thing.

I just, I don't know. I love that Charlton Heston didn't show up until the end. It was named after him, but it was run by Joe wouldn't. I love that Charlton Heston didn't show up until the end. Right, no. It was named after him, but it was run by Joe Montagny. Right. He came in and was like. A wicked web, they weave.

You can get these appetizers from my cold dead hand. Hehehehe. All right, well Beth, thank you so much. Oh my gosh, what a ride. For coming in and taking this ride with me. I love that. We usually pick our favorite caller. I'm gonna go with Jason.

I loved Jason. That was amazing. Thank you Jason. Thanks Jason. You know, no offense to everybody else, but you should have thrown some more celebrities in there. Cause that always, yeah. I will say Kelly for me, close. Yeah, that is true. I loved Kelly.

That is true. Mixing with her arm. Yes. And a bucket of beans. Oh, nail polish gone. Next thing she should have done ising with her arm. Yes. And a bucket of beans. Like, oh, nail polish gone. Next thing she should have done is just tested her face. I gotta get a little mascara off as well. Yeah, yeah.

Here, let me get some rust off my bike. Let me splash my face with some beans. All right, well, that's it again for the Andy Richter Call-In Show. I'll be back. Thank you again, Beth. So fun, Andy. BethStelling.com, follow her, stalk her around the country. I could be coming to a city near you.

Yeah, and that's a threat. If that city is Casper, Wyoming. And thank all of you out there for listening. We'll be back next week. Stick around for Lori Kilmartin's stand up on Conan. Amazing. Goodbye. Bye.