The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Bill Hader

Episode Date: November 2, 2021

Bill Hader joins Andy Richter to talk about going from behind the camera to in front of it, thinking everyone is mad, and more.

uh hi everyone uh you have tuned in to what is probably going to be a really dull episode of the three questions because i got a real turd on today. This guy hides in impressions because there's really nothing to him. He's an empty vessel. And if he's not doing a funny voice, he's basically staring at a wall. That's right. It's Bill Hader, everyone.

Hi, Bill. Hi, Andy. I like to introduce my guests to make them feel good. So I hope that made you feel good. Yeah, it made me feel great. It made me feel very seen. Now, how are you? We're talking on a Saturday because you're so busy.

Are you shooting your show right now? Yeah, we're shooting Barry right now. We have about two and a half more weeks of shooting. How is it? It's been going good. We've been shooting since July and prepping since April.

It's been a whirlwind. Is it one of those productions where everyone has worked 14 hours a day and fed only granola bars. No, no, no. I feel very happy that we're, because I was a production assistant, so I've been on those shows where you work for 18-hour days and stuff, and it stinks. And so, yeah, Gavin Kleintop and Aida Rogers and Alec Berg and I, all very, we all started at the bottom in some place. So we're all very conscientious and try to make it like if we go anything over a 10 hour

day where we kind of freak out. It makes a huge difference. It makes a huge difference for people because I know I was, I went to film school. I was a production assistant. I was, I went to film school. I was a production assistant. You and I had very similar beginnings in show business in that way, except you actually were in LA doing it

and I was in Chicago doing it. Yeah. I mean, so mine was like kind of, I mean, like my celebrities were, you know, like Mike Ditka and Michael Jordan. That's who I, that's the celebrities I wrote. I mean, that's pretty cool. I mean, it was pretty cool.

Yeah. That's pretty rad. But, but it is, I do feel I will, you know, through, I have worked with, and I meet people who are my friends who, when you have to wait for four hours for some adjustment to be made. And, and I have friends, very-tempered friends who have been like what the fuck is taking so long and i always feel like well you wouldn't know would you you had no you wouldn't know yeah yeah and it's and you know you yeah you don't know what what everyone's been through and how everyone's so tired and when you know we started out this week uh having to be at

a location at 4 a.m because the. because we're shooting the sun coming up. And then by the end of the week, you're shooting a night scene outside. So you have to get over to nights. And we try not to shoot full nights. We try to make it split, which means you show up at noon and shoot until midnight.

So you do some day work, some night work, but I've done those shows. I remember being a PA on a movie where we did two months of straight nights, you know, and that just, it makes you insane. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I, I, yeah. When I was a PA, I remember, Yeah, when I was at PA, I remember, I think there was one time when I worked 36 hours straight because of picking up gear, taking it to a location, prepping another location, wrapping out, you know, shooting all night, wrapping out the location and returning all the gear and it's the, and it is like a lot of what's going on now. It's, it's funny because it's like, you don't really, at least I feel like throughout, like a lot of kind of the evolution of the last 15, 20 years of kind of just politically aware, like learning not to say certain words. And you know, where you're like, oh yeah, right. I've been saying that word thoughtlessly my whole life. But I can see how that would be a problem.

Oh, 100%. I feel like lately with all the kind of talk about the IATSE strike and stuff, it has made me think like, oh, yeah, film production is really fucked up. Like they really do play on this notion that you're lucky to be here. You wanted this so bad and you know how rare it is to score a job in this industry. So shut up and do it, you know? Yeah. It's very easy. And I've been on those shows and I've had friends who've been on those shows where, you know, you could be at the mercy of a,'s a producer or a production company that's going to work really cheap and do what you're describing which is we're going to cut costs

and cut a lot of corners and do what should be probably two months of work in three weeks because it'll save us a bunch of money or something. Or you're at the mercy of a director who, you know, needs their time and works 18, 19 hour days. And I've done that as a PA and as an actor. Yeah.

And the funny thing is, in my opinion, I go watch those movies and I'll go watch something that I know was shot reasonable and I see no real difference. There's never a time I go see one of those movies where you're out hard and how long the hours were. And I go, well, you know what? It really shows. It's just, you're at the, it's, um, you're at the whim of, of someone's process. And I, I just think that's, you know, give them more, if they need more time,

then they need to spend the money to, to, to add more shooting days. I think working anything over 10 hours to me, you just start getting good work done after a moment. Everything, everything stops working. I've always operated on the principle that

especially if you're doing comedy if you're regardless of what ends up on film if it's a a group of miserable fucking people who don't want to be there odds are it's not going to be very funny you know i mean there is kind of an alchemy there's kind of a magic that needs to transfer from the fun of people making it to the fun of people watching it. Yeah. Yeah. Even like you hear like, and look, I, you know, I love some of Stanley Kubrick's movies, but you know, I remember being a film, you know, a film, I'm still a film geek, but in my twenties, it was really romanticized version of these directors. And you would hear Stanley Kubrick did 150 takes of Shelley Duvall and Jack Nicholson on the stairs. Stairs, yep.

And The Shining. I'm going to bash your brains in that scene. Because he wanted to get Shelley Duvall to this real sense of hysteria and all this. And we thought that was so cool. that was being an artist and why it was so great. And then you start doing this as a job. And I've now, you know, I've been in horror movies, I've been in dramas, comedies, everything. And I've seen people do, and I've seen Shelley Duvall in other movies do just that and I bet

it was five takes it's called acting that's not Kubrick that's his ego I need that process that's all about ego and stuff and I just it's bad when people

you start hearing about their process and you know more about the process or remember the process more than the work. Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah. And so in acting, directing, writing, you always hear that stuff.

So it is funny. But that said, I mean, I watched The Shining with my oldest daughter not too long ago and I still enjoyed it. But I was like, I just don't want to be on that set. Yeah, I mean, I think that, you know, like you said, on Take 10, I bet Shelley Duvall, it wouldn't have affected our enjoyment of that movie. I think she would have been fine. And we would not we would not have that knowledge in our mind of like the fucking psychic karmic damage that that caused, especially like to Shelley Duvall, who basically kind of got ruined for filmmaking from that movie. the as I get older and as you start doing it you know you'll see a great actor um do something very similar like that and Shelley Duvall those Robert Altman movies I mean three women I mean

I mean she I'm great great actor yeah and so I I never really to me that that was more like again it's like ego and yeah which well the idea that you hire a capable known quantity professional person and then decide in your mind this person needs to be manipulated and controlled and treated yeah like a child that's fucked up. Yeah, that's your shit. That's your shit that you're dealing with. And he didn't do it to Jack Nicholson. No. But you hear the other films, you know, he tortured

Malcolm McDowell on Clockwork Orange, and the scene where he has his eyes open, apparently he cut his eye. Really fucked his eyes open. And cut his eye and Kubrick said we'll favor the other eye apparently when they're shooting it and you go

okay that's nice but I've gotten to a place where you hear those things and I go oh that doesn't affect my enjoyment of the movies you know I still enjoy those movies, but I just wouldn't want to work on them.

And you know, you just don't need to... A lot of people don't like Eyes Wide Shut. I actually enjoy that movie. But when you hear like, oh yeah, they shot Tom Cruise entering a door for two weeks. That's silly. Oh. That's silly. Oh, it's silly. Oh, my God.

I can't even imagine. I don't know how I would do it. Why did you want to get into show business? What do you think was it about, I mean, just a quick synopsis of your childhood, like where you're from and what the family dynamic was and how show business came out of that uh i'm from tulsa oklahoma uh uh pretty you know average childhood i had two younger sisters um my dad was he did he ran a restaurant when i was really young and then drove a truck for a bit.

And then he ended up managing an air freight company. And then my mom was a dance teacher and things like that. But show business for me was completely you know, it, it, it was like completely unattainable. Like the idea of being involved in any way, uh, and show business was like, like, you know, like saying you want to go to Mars or colonize Mars or something. It was just like this other thing. So people like you don't get to do. No, no. You didn't know anybody who did it.

You've never met anybody who did it. I remember the first celebrity I ever saw was we took a family trip to Hawaii and I saw John Larroquette by a pool. And I just went, oh, my God, that's the guy from Night Court. Just seeing a person who I'd seen on television, that feeling where you go, oh, my God. But for me, it was always liking comedy, but liking all movies, loving old films. And from a very young age, wanting to be a, a director,

you know, uh, noticing the, the name, the director and the credits and seeing how each of them had a style and noticing that from a pretty young age. So, uh,

very quickly, like when I was still in high school, I would go to places where they shot commercials in Tulsa just to see how they did it and try to help out in any way. And then, uh, like what age? And then, uh, like 15, something like that, 15, 16. And then, uh, and I helped out in a couple, like, I think I, uh, worked on this one thing, you know, it's like they would shoot Philbrook museum, you know, and they would bring in like a little EPK crew and I was grabbing, you know, charging up batteries and grabbing everybody lunch and stuff like that. But I was around people shooting stuff, you know, I just thought it was so cool. And then, um, and then, uh, made little films with my sisters and friends.

Uh, one of whom is a guy named Duffy Boudreau, who, uh, uh, I've known since I was 15. And now he is a writer on Barry and producer on Barry. We've, we've been really close and now collaborate and that's been nice. But, um, then I moved to Arizona for no reason. Uh, I don't know why. It happens. It literally just happens. Yeah, yeah.

They don't know why they're there. What? That's what Kimmel. I know. Jimmy Kimmel laughed so hard that I went out of state to go to community college. I did. I went out of state to go to Scottsdale Community College for like a year. What was it about that community college?

You know what it was? No, it was, my grades were horrible in high school. And so I got, the only thing I could really go to that was film was a thing called the Art Institute of Phoenix. And they had art institutes everywhere. And so I went to the one in Phoenix because I was like, well, it's closest to LA. And they didn't care about grades. So I went there and then a friend of mine there said, hey, I'm actually taking classes at Scottsdale Community College and they're shooting film. They had all these ARIBLs and they had flatbeds and they also had a couple of AVIDs.

And this is like 1997 yeah so that was like really cool and high tech and this before this back when video looked like video yeah and um so yeah I went up there and I shot some short films met some friends I'm still friends with today and we we moved out to LA uhA. June of 1999. And how much of this, what component of this drive to do this and this desire to do this is being a performer? Or is it factoring in that much at all? Not, no, it was never about being a performer. Being a performer came about very kind of by accident.

I mean, I was in a couple of plays in high school, but that was mostly because my high school girlfriend was in the plays and it was a way for us to hang out with each other. And then I took classes at Second City LA. This was before UCB or any, it at Second City LA. This was before UCB. It was Second City LA. The Groundlings. And the Groundlings, which had a wait list for like a year. Yeah, yeah.

Just to take classes there. And then IO, which is on Hollywood. And so, yeah, I went to to classes there did shows and things like that and and it was solely as a way to shore up your directing i'm sorry yeah yeah yeah no yeah it was solely just to be like oh i'll meet some actors here and we'll make like short films and and stuff like that. Get laid. Yeah, no. No, no. I was like, hi, everyone. No, I've always had a girlfriend,

so it was always like, I'm going to meet actors and make stuff. And then it became more about, well, why don't you be in this stuff? No offense, Bill, but we'd rather you were in it instead of shooting it. And then I got really lucky. Megan Mullally saw me at a show and said, you're really funny, I'm going to tell Laura Michaels about you. I was working as an assistant editor on Iron Chef America. And Lindsay Shookus called me and said,

well, Laura Michaels would like to meet you. And I had no manager, no agent, no... It's the story that... They've never been paid to perform. They've never been paid to perform. They've never been paid to perform. Wow. And that's why I'm the story that is why actors hate me.

There's other reasons. There's other reasons actors hate me. It's like, there's other reasons. There's other reasons. They hate you. Yeah. They hate you for so many. I mean, look at you.

Can't you tell my loves are growing? So then I met Lauren and, and auditioned and, and then through that got a manager and agent and stuff. Wow. Yeah, I had a friend who went to Africa for like a couple of months. And when he left, I was an assistant editor. When he came back, I was like, oh, I'm moving to New York.

I'm on Saturday Night Live. He was like, what? Wow. You should pay that guy to go to Africa every few years. I know, I know. God, it worked out great. You'll win an Oscar. But the thing was, though, when I got to Saturday Night Live,

I ended up working with these people that had much more experience than I did. And writing sketch comedy still was never like something that I was very good at. I think I was good at being in the room and saying, Oh, I could do this or do that. But I very much needed writers, you know,

whereas like the crew I came in with, uh, Andy and Sudeikis and Kristen and, uh, Colin Jost and, you know, the Lonely Island guys, Brian Tucker, all these people were all really solid writers. You know, they could write their stuff.

Fred could write stuff. Fred Armisen could write his own stuff, you know. And I don't know if I ever turned my, I don't know if I ever opened, like, the, you know, the program to write the scripts on my computer. You know, it was always, yeah, John Mulaney or Simon Rich or someone like that. You know, Matt Murray. Yeah. You know, America Sawyer, you know, people like that.

I was the same way on the Conan show where like whenever I wrote something, because I would sit in and, you know, most of my writing on that thing was just being there and going like, this needs a new ending. What if we did this? And then, you know, like saying it and someone else would write it down, you know? Well, I remember and this is I remember watching a documentary on the kids in the hall. And there's a thing where they did a bit on Conan. Where and they're trying to figure out and you're in thing where they did a bit on Conan where, and they're trying to figure out and you're in there and you go, Oh,

you know what could happen? And it was, uh, them getting like beaten up or something on Conan or someone coming in. They have a fake baby doll and they toss the baby to security. Yeah. Yeah. They toss baby to security. But I remember Kevin McDonald getting hit in the back of the legs and falling.

But it was so cool for me to see that going, oh, yeah, that's how it is. It really is. It's no different than my friends when we were around the lunch, we were eating lunch at a cafeteria in high school. It's the same kind of fucking around and trying to get out of your head. That was the bigger thing. At SNL, it was like, okay, Tuesday night,

you have to write something. It took me forever to just get out of my head and relax because that's when the good stuff comes. But when you're like, all right, I have to have something. It always came out very forced and you know shitty you know for a long time i mean i was very uh oh the uh rob klein and john solomon are two writers that my last season just i mean those guys they wrote this uh ventriloquist, not this puppet sketch, but a guy in a puppet class.

And they wrote this other sketch where I was this very kind of effeminate firefighter who's screaming at somebody. And there's sketches that people still come up and talk to me about. And I'm like, that is, that's, those are, I mean, it was just John and Rob being like, we want to see Bill do this. Yeah, yeah. But so much of that takes time. You have to kind of get, everybody has to know each other.

I mean, I was there for eight years by that point, you know. But, yeah, when I came in, I just remember going to UCB and watching ASCAP or something and seeing all those people up there performing and just doing improv and was like, Oh my God. I, yeah. Someone's going to tap me on the shoulder and be like,

what are you doing here, man? Yeah. When, um, were you like, were you funny in your house? I mean,

how did, how did your family react when it's like, wait, what? Like they knew you wanted to be in production. Yeah. But they didn't know. I mean, were they surprised or were i mean or were they like oh no he's always been pretty funny and it makes sense yeah yeah i think they were like yeah you're i've always been pretty funny um you know i've always been like a combination of like funny and like amiable.

And then, but also another side of me is very kind of shy and, and hyper, you know, stressed out. Yeah. Yeah. And so I think they were, I think it was a combination of like, oh, that makes sense. That's like live television isn't the worst environment for him. Like he's going to be, he's gonna be he's gonna be a basket case yeah you know i mean i'm sure that you figured out after a while it is like

most performers are like a hilarious combination of need it hate it yeah like yeah like need it, hate it. You know, like need it and then also like I'm terrified by it. And, you know, I can't stand rejection, but I'm going into the most rejection-filled eclair of a business I can find. Yeah. Yeah. For me, it was a thing of like the charge I got was creating a thing and seeing it to fruition. But because I was this movie fan,

it had to be, have the precision of, of that. And that's what I enjoyed. And I think especially standups and, and sketch, I mean, the whole,

what's fun about it is that it kind of having a shaky landing or being loose and strange and this part worked and this part didn't work and and and having that confidence of moving with that i would just uh rehearse something to with an inch of his of his life just because i just it had to land it perfectly and that and that caused a lot of stress so the um was never someone that was like, oh man, I need that audience thing, that audience approval. It was more like I needed to be able to have an idea and land it perfectly. And if it was like 99% perfect, lose my mind i would just be like i failed you know you're talking about in snl this is at snl yes at snl and that and that by season four

that was when lauren michaels pulled me aside and said you can work here as long as you want you really need to relax you know you're just really keyed up and then I've now seen other people now that I run a show I've seen people in the same position whether it's an actor or someone on the crew

and I'm like oh I know that I see that where you're putting a ton of pressure on yourself it doesn't help and I'll say like dude, I've been there. You just got to breathe and accept that it's never going to be perfect. And now the irony is that

I think some people, oh, now you're directing stuff. It's going to have that OCD thing or whatever the hell it was. And I don't because SNL knocked that out of me. Oh, that's great. That's really good. Yeah, I'm much more relaxed of like, okay, now that's a different thing. Yeah, right, right, right.

You know, it was great for me in that case of relaxing. And the biggest thing SNL taught me was how to make, have a clear idea and make very clear, you know, decisive decisions and sticking to it because you just didn't have time. Does that, does that, yeah. I mean, yeah. That's, I always said the Conan show was laying tracks for a train that you could hear coming, you know, like you don't have time, you don't have time to worry, like, is this great or not? perfectionist and would be literally sometimes editing still doing editing tweaks on the piece as the band is playing the fucking intro music and they would feed it into the show

from the edit bay they couldn't even get it to the control room yes and and that was i mean to me even you know in my because i learned so much from him uh that seemed to me like, I don't feel like that's probably efficient, you know? Yeah. Yeah. It has a diminishing return, you know? Yeah.

We would have writers like that at SNL or one writer. I was playing Charlie Sheen when he had his kind of like meltdown during the whole tiger blood thing. And it was a cold open and i was so anxious i was like shaking and oh my god it's cold open initially it was just a sketch and now it's a cold open and um and uh it was like all right here we go one minute 30 seconds everybody's getting quiet 20 seconds 10 seconds and the writer walked up to me and goes do you want to do the tiger blood joke or should we not do it

oh and I just went I go get away from me he's like I can't I could still cut it it's in the last half of the sketch and I was like get away from me get away from me I'm going to attack you

you can't ask me that I'm radioactive because you yeah i'm about to like you can't ask me that like i'm radioactive i'm radioactive because you know in their mind it was like well we can always shift this around i'm like oh yeah not now not now we're done do you think that that that that sort of acceptance of the the imperfection of things and and possibly the the imperfection of things being the desired outcome did that bleed over into your personal life too or is that just like like do you feel that experience helped you kind of accept life yeah you know uh it's a thing that happens where you've you know you you when you're younger.

I mean, it's kind of a thing everybody talks about, but it's true. And then it's really annoying when it's true is that you are a bit more like I was saying, especially when I was talking about Kubrick stuff, as you romanticize stuff and you're very kind of idealist. you're very kind of idealist. Um, and then as you get older, life gets very much more complicated and then you realize stuff about yourself that you didn't know. And you realize how much, you know, the, something you thought you weren't, you are, you know, or whether it's, uh, I'm not a, I don't know. Uh, like I like I never really considered myself an anxious person. I always thought I was pretty laid back, you know? And it wasn't until, you know, someone said, I think you need to go to a therapist

because I think you have an anxiety disorder. You know what I mean? That you're kind of going, no, I don't. Like, what? What do you mean? I just haven't slept for three days because I don't like what, what do you mean? I just, I just haven't slept for three days because I have to do a live show, you know, or whatever it is. And, um, well, I remember having, um, feeling like I had the flu and I would go, Oh my God, I have the flu. I don't know what's going on. I went to a doctor and they were like,

that's anxiety. It's like, it's's, you know, it's like it knocks your equilibrium off and all this, you know? And, and, um, so it's like, yeah, life gets a little bit more interesting, your relationships. Um, you just, I think it's just trying to live like a more honest life and you are kind of more accepting like you're saying of it's weird it's this weird combination of being more accepting of people but then at the same time having less time for other people or just like yeah that's bullshit i just don't right where i used to be like oh meaning like you know my 20s and 30s, you would get into spirited, you know, arguments about stuff. And now I just, I just don't have the time or the inclination for it.

I'm just kind of like, I'm never going to change your mind. You're never going to change my mind. I can't, I can't get involved in this. I'm just, I just kind of go, Oh, okay. That's how you are. I don't want to have a heart attack. This just makes me feel tired. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just get tired. But then at the same time, you know, I have children and it's like, I want them to have better tools than I had. You know, I can, you know, there's, I've worked on it, but I could be very defensive or not hearing people immediately assuming something.

I can get into a thought cycle and then you have to go, is that really what even happened? Or is my anxiety and freaking out about it. Now this person slighted me in this way and blah, blah, blah. And then it takes someone else to go, that didn't happen to me. Yeah. That's not what I saw. That's not, that's not what I saw at all. And you're like, oh my God. Okay. I need to just. And listen and calm the fuck down, you know. Can't you tell my loves are growing now? I mean, and then to kind of book in the other question, do you think that the coping mechanisms that you found in your personal life then help you in your professional life? Like that these kind of like that, you know, helping you sort of create a more whole, calmer life also makes you create a more a whole.

Oh, yeah. More elevated work. Well, what it does, at least for me, was the more I, you know, whether it was like for me, therapy, you know, I take medication. I do, I do. Ayahuasca. Meditation. I do ayahuasca. I sacrifice various animals. Yeah. I steal things out of neighbor's yards and i put in other neighbor's yards i like to i like to pull the thread of society now um

yeah but no i uh i do tm i meditate all these things that kind of like It's just acknowledging, oh, this thing that is a part of your personality is kind of hurting you, which is weirdly what Barry's about. It's the thing that you kind of feel like, oh, this is a natural part of me that's also hurting me. But in doing that, I could concentrate more on the work and I'm much more clearer with what I'm trying to do and accepting what happens. And therefore, I'm much more confident because you know it's not as people, as the world, as politics, all these other things. It's all imperfect. And at the end of the day, it doesn't make a whole hell of a lot of sense.

Yeah. So you should kind of be able to do whatever you want. Do you know what I'm saying? Where it's like, oh, I thought, you know, this episode of Barry or this relationship with this person or whatever is going to be this, but now it's this. Do I like that or not? You know, or how can I, you know, I'm going to move on, you know, and just move forward and not taking it in this personal way, which is,

which is hard. And it's a thing, it's the same thing like this, you know, it's like a, it's a, it's, it's like a, you know, I learned like the thing with anxiety and, and depression and these sorts of things. It's like, it's a thing that comes, but it also goes. And it's a thing you're always like dealing with. Yeah. So it's like the biggest thing that helped me with that stuff was Anna, how it helped in the work was

um acknowledging that and knowing that when you fight it you make it worse so it's like kind of like this weird acceptance it's like uh so whether it is like you're saying like interpersonal relationships or work or whatever, and something goes horribly wrong or something you're freaking out about, the minute you try to fight it, it becomes stronger. But when you just kind of, there's a Buddhist thing of like, you take the narrative out of it, which I like so I'm so stressed out because this person I found out this person lied to me so I'm angry and stressed and so if you just take out the narrative and go I'm angry and stressed

and then you just kind of sit with that it kind of will dissipate you know what i mean and like i use that in work and in life you know but i don't but again i don't want it to sound too like um uh like a like this really hardcore lifestyle thing it's a thing that's like free-flowing you know some some situations you don't do it in and you go oh fuck i gotta go you know right everything is like and you make mistakes and you you fall back and you go oh fuck i gotta go you know right everything is like and you make mistakes and you you fall back and you realize oh shit i'm doing that thing that i've told myself for literally decades don't do that you know yeah i mean i find myself doing that where like i got all this all these fucking rules i've made and they're not even like necessary rules it's i mean that

sounds kind of too strict but just like okay you know you've learned a lot this to avoid these kind of situations and to avoid doing this and then i'll be like oh shit i just fucking did it and you know whether it's like allowing somebody to take advantage of me or you know uh you know allow me to feel powerless or something you know it's it you can't i mean one thing i've been working on a lot a lot uh lately is uh is talking nice to myself yeah after a lifetime of being you stupid fat fucking idiot why don't you fucking you know stop doing these things and realizing i mean i said it to somebody on this podcast not long ago if some if somebody wants me to do something if they talk kindly to me i'll do it if they talk mean and

shitty to me i'll say fuck you motherfucker i'm not gonna do that so i was trapped in a cycle of that of being like my own bad boss that then i'd like be like oh right i know i should be more efficient and productive but fuck you buddy the way you talk to me, I'm not doing a thing, you know? Yeah, it's true. It's funny. It's funny just like the dynamics you have with people because then it's like, you know, it's like some of my closest friends and the people you know for a while,

the ones you could be brutally honest with in a fun way and you can be, you know, hard on each other, but it all comes out of love. And then there's other people I've known forever and there's no way in hell you could do that because they're too sensitive. And then there's people that I can, they can do that to me and I'm not sensitive, but then another person will do it to me who I've known the same amount of time. And I'm way too sensitive where I'm like, well, what does that mean? Wait, did I do, wait, what did I do wrong? You know? Uh, you know, I have a friend that's their impression of me is always going, wait, what, what, wait, what did I do? Wait, wait, are you mad? Wait, are you mad at me? Like I jumped to, wait,

did I do something wrong? Are you mad? Like so fast. Yeah. But, you know, and then, yeah, it just, it's. Is that born in you or do you think that comes from somewhere? I don't know, man. Yeah, it might be. I mean, it's a funny thing. It's like when you go back home, you see it not just in family, but just where you're from. I mean, people in Oklahoma are very like, it's like the minute you get off the airplane,

it's just someone going, sorry. Just the minute you exit the airplane. It's just very nice. Non-confrontational, yeah. Don't want to rock the boat, non-confrontational, but they're still mad. You know, there's still, it's still that, you know, that Midwestern passive aggressive thing.

Yeah. Uh, but you know, you just try to, you know, it's weird. It's like everything, some of the things you used to get really riled up about, I don't anymore. I kind of go, oh, that doesn't really matter. But now there's these newer things that get get really riled up about. I don't anymore. I kind of go, Oh, that doesn't really matter. But now there's these newer things that get you more riled up about. And then hopefully, you know,

10 years from now, I'll be like, Oh, that was so weird. I got mad about that shit. Now I have this new shit that I'm mad about. You know what I mean? So it's like,

it's always something. Rinse and repeat until you're in the grave. Yeah. Yeah. Next stop death. Yeah. Next stop death. Uh, well well speaking of the future death um is it what are you most excited about of your future i mean what do you got coming forward that you're like planning for and i mean you know long term doesn't have to be

work oh i don't know i i i've gotten to this place with, you know, as a young person always wanting to be a director and a writer, and then this circuitous, really amazing, you know, going through, you know, performing SNL movies and learning so much along the way to now where I'm able to do it with, with Barry. Um, it is this nice feeling of trusting your instincts and then, um, and, and I mean, in an actual way, it's like hopefully being able to make a movie, um, maybe one that I'm not even in, you know, just making a movie. But also just, you know, for the future, it's kind of what we're talking about is knowing yourself, understanding all the bad shit and the good shit of yourself and just acknowledging it and saying like, okay, look,

I could, in this situation, I can be very sensitive. You know what I mean? So I'm going to calm down. Or in this sense, I can be very defensive and I'm, you know what, I acknowledge that, so just be aware of it. I'm not going to change

necessarily. I could just be very hyper aware of it. Or I can get very anxious in a situation of you know whatever and so it's just knowing yourself and and knowing like I could be directing an episode of Barry that is like you know we you know doing stunts and there's all this stuff going on and everything I'm totally calm totally calm. But then I, I have to go to the airport by myself, you know, wreck. The idea of missing a flight to me makes me completely insane. Right. Right. I'm one of those people. I'm there like two hours ahead of time.

Yeah. I don't care when they like, hey, the flight's been delayed an hour. I'm like, great, I'm here. It used to be a thing that people would say, and you, I don't do that. You get grumpy and it's like, no, I am that guy. I'm a pain in the ass. I'm saying like the most, you know, whatever, lighthearted things on the spectrum. No, I know what you mean. Yeah.

But, um, you know, it's just acknowledging those that thing about yourself and just saying like, well, I get like this where it used to be like, you know, I'm not like that. Yeah. I'm, I'm calm as shit you know, I'm not like that. Yeah. I'm calm as shit. Look at me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, dude, your face is fully, you're sweating.

Well, first time I was on Conan, I had a full-blown panic attack backstage. Really? First time I was on Conan, full-blown panic attack. Yeah. I was in my dressing room. Mark Lepus was a publicist at SNL, and I just couldn't breathe and sweating, because I'm like, I've been watching this show since I was 15, and I'm about to be on it, and I'm the second guest.

And seeing Cone and you guys saying, the next time we got Bill Hader, and it was just like, come right after this. And they come and they're like, all right, let's take you back there. You know? And I just went, hold on, hold on, hold on. Oh my God. You know? And then after that happened, Mark going, Hey, are you okay, man? Was everything okay? I'm like, what do you mean? What are you talking about? What was okay? Yeah, I'm fine. What are you,

what's wrong? Are you, is something wrong with you? Yeah. Fuck you. What do you mean? No, I just, you just vomited all over you? Yeah, fuck you. Yeah, fuck you. Fuck you. What do you mean? No, I just, you just vomited all over yourself. Like, what are you talking about? Yeah. Maybe you vomited all over yourself. I bought this shirt like this.

Yeah. This is a new shirt, asshole. It's all the rage. It's called Carrots and Peas. It's a new designer line. You know this. You know this, but yeah, it is a thing where you, you can be in denial about that shit.

And then you go, all right, all right. Is that kind of the, you know, this podcast, it's the, what have you learned? Is that sort of what you think that you, you know, you've learned the most of is self-acceptance. Yeah. Self-acceptance for me personally was about uh anxiety and and and uh depression and but mostly anxiety um and and accepting it and and learning to work with it and everything just you just be able to breathe easier because you just know it about yourself. Yeah. You know, and you go, oh, that's what that is. And just saying that makes it easier.

Yeah. Where before you would blame it on something else or you just wouldn't acknowledge it. Yeah. For some reason, you know, and so, yeah, acceptance. And then it's nice, too, because then you you talk to like a family member and say hi this and they go well yeah i do too man will you yeah like yeah yeah we're related right right well bill you're the best thank you so much for taking some time for us today i appreciate how valuable your time is and thanks man no yeah man thanks for thanks for having me man this is all right and i'm sure that probably being on this podcast will make a big difference Thanks, man. No. Yeah, man. Thanks for having me, man. This is awesome.

And I'm sure that probably being on this podcast will make a big difference. The people will probably start watching Barry now. I hope so. Jeez, man. That would be nice. I'm tired. I'm tired of howling into the wilderness. I know.

I'm so sick of people going like, hey, are you on a show called Brian? No. It could be, if you want it. Whatever you want. Whatever you want. What do you want? You want Brian? You want George? I'll do whatever you want. Sean? I'll call whatever you want. Will you watch? All right, Bill.

Thank you so much. Let's get together soon. I'll see you soon. Yes. All right, buddy. Thank you all out there for listening. thank you so much and uh and uh let's get together soon i'll see you soon yeah all right all right and thank you all out there for listening uh we'll be back next week with another episode of los tres cuestiones the three questions with andy richter is a team coco and your wolf production it is produced by lane gerbig engineered by marina peiss and talent produced by Galitza Hayek. The associate producer is Jen Samples, supervising producer Aaron Blair,

and executive producers Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Make sure to rate and review The Three Questions with Andy Richter on Apple Podcasts.