The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Billy Gardell

Episode Date: March 28, 2023

Billy Gardell (Mike & Molly, Bob Hearts Abishola) joins Andy Richter to discuss comedy, sobriety, their encounters outside the Warner Bros. studio gym, Billy’s health journey, and much more.

Hello, everyone. Andy Richter here again with another episode of The Three Questions. And I'm talking with an old pal, an old Warner Brothers pal. Yes, sir. I was just telling people here, we first really got to know each other. I mean, you were a guest on the show, but then most of our actual hanging time was when I was— and this is in no way meant to imply moral

superiority. Please. When I was coming and going from the Warner Brothers gym, you were standing outside smoking. Yeah, well, that's how we worked. I kept thinking, one day. One day I'm going to have Andy's discipline. One day. But you were over there all the time.

Yeah, well, because I paid someone. I haven't done a fucking thing in years. The pandemic ruined it. All the plans I had for the pandemic. And then my underemployment kind of. I'll be out there with you next year. I'll be out there with you next year. My gym going was all based on paying someone to be there.

But you did it. I saw you in there all day. And I was always smoking when you walked in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In front of one of your beautiful old cars. That's right. But yeah, now, left to my own devices, I can't do a damn thing. No, I'm no good unsupervised.

Yeah, yeah. At all. But you've lost a ton of, I said when you walked in. 150 pounds. Wow. Yeah, yeah. At all. But you've lost a ton of, I said when you walked in. 150 pounds. Wow. Yeah, man. I went last, about a year and a half ago, I went for bariatric surgery. I got the full gastric bypass. Yeah. And then I've just done everything they told me to do, and it has saved my life. Wow. Saved my life. Because my numbers were, I always had like, yeah, I'm a sober guy. I always had like, you know, I'm a sober guy,

so I got like, you know, junky DNA. You have to kill me with a silver bullet and some holy water and fucking, you know,

oh, can I swear? Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, I don't think I said, this is Billy Gardell.

It doesn't matter. I mean, you all read it when you clicked the link, but it's Billy Gardell. Sorry. Yeah, and I just,

I, man, you know, COVID really, that was the one thing that hit me because when you remember when the checklist came out of like how the people it would kill first. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. I had a full, I had the full bingo card. Right. Smoking, asthma, type two diabetes. I had a sleep apnea. I had everything except over 65. That's the only thing I didn't have on the card. And so I said to my wife, man,

if we get to a place where there's a vaccine for this thing, I'm taking it and I'm going to change my life, man. And because my numbers were starting to creep up finally. You can't outrun that. And so eventually, and I did for a long time, always had good numbers. And that was always my justification. Like, well, my numbers are fine. I don't know what you're bitching about. I can't move my knee. And that was always my justification. Like, well, my numbers are fine. I don't know what you're bitching about. I can't move my knee.

But I got rid of my diabetes. My heart used to rest at 113 beats a minute. Oh, my goodness. That's sitting still. Wow. And now it's 68. Wow. And so my blood pressure's fine. My cholesterol's fine.

All that. See, this is where the age we're at. This is what we talk about. Wow, absolutely. That and the food I used to be able to eat. Let's talk about the morning of the food. But I made that change. And I just, I'm so grateful I did it because, you know, you start doing, and you know, you have kids, you start doing dad math. You're like, well, if I can live to 75, he'll be 40 and that should be pretty good. Like I start doing that math. I just, I didn't want to go through everything I

went through and to succeed and all that and all of life and then not be able to get out of a chair at 60. So I made that commitment and I changed and I'm so glad I did. The first seven, eight weeks of this thing was brutal. I won't lie. But after that, I started to get it. And now I just have this like daily routine and I eat like a French woman. I take three bites, after that, I started to get it. And now I just have this like daily routine. And I eat like a French woman. I take three bites, you know, I push away from the table. I wear high heels. I light a cigarette and put my head in the air. That's kind of what I do.

Do you still have the bypass? I do. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's forever. I got the full Monty. And is it like the thing where you can't eat more than a tiny little bird meal? Yeah, literally. Well, when you start, I chickened out twice.

The first two times, like they show you, you know that little container they give you for ketchup or you're dipping fries? Yeah, yeah. They put that on the table and go, that's what your stomach's going to look like after the, and then I went through the wall like Daffy Duck leaving that room. Like, are you out of your mind? But I finally got to the point where I could surrender to what, like a lot of people think you just get the surgery and that's that. Anybody who's asked me, and I've always tried to be very open with

this on Twitter or whatever, that's the only one I do and I hate doing that one. But I just always say, look at what it takes to keep the surgery healthy. The surgery is not the end, it's the beginning. And when you're ready to commit to what it's going to take after that, then do it. But if you're not ready for that commitment, don't do the surgery. Yeah. Yeah. So, so I've just tried, I think I finally got to a place where I could surrender to, this is just what I do now. Yeah. You know? Now, I mean, I'm, I'm somebody that's, you know, to say I struggled with my weight, I mean, that makes it sound so much more noble, you know, but like, you know. But I did too. It's a prison, man. It's a prison. But it, but it's more, it's a prison. It's, it is, it is a prison, but it's also kind of like

in the grand scheme of things in, in world suffering, it's, you know, it's, you know, I don't know about all that, man. I think pain is relative to everyone. I think we all struggle with something. I'm just a guy that had everything. Yeah. I mean, I'm cigarettes are my last one I'm trying to put down and hopefully I will settle into a very had everything. I mean, cigarettes are my last one I'm trying to put down. And hopefully I will settle into a very lame life that I have worked very hard to get to. But I quit drugs and alcohol about 15 years ago, and that changed me. And then slowly but surely, I started understanding that, you know, this sounds sappy, but you got to learn to love yourself. Yeah.

Because for years, what I did was I looked in the mirror and I was like, come on, you fat piece of shit. You got to get it together. Look at you. It does nothing. It just sends you the other way. But looking at yourself and saying, I mean, I got to start caring about you. Yeah, yeah. And that changed the game for me.

I always say, when you think about somebody that treats you shitty, you're going to do anything for them? Right. somebody that treats you shitty. Yeah. You're going to do anything for them. Right. You know, like, like when I, when I used to work freelance in film production, if I had bosses that were nice to me, I would end of the earth, do whatever I took, whatever it took to make them happy, to, to get the job done. The ones that treated me like shit, I'd steal money from them. Right. You know, so when you look at them and I mean, and I've been through the same thing. And I mean, and it's, you know, and it is, it's a process that I go through is I realized I'm not going to do anything for that voice. You're literally in an abusive relationship. Yeah, yeah.

And then what's funny is there's just no, you just have to take that journey with yourself and like-minded people. Because when I was really heavy, I would get, you know, messages on social media, like, we're really worried about you. You're too heavy. And now it's, are you sick? Are you sick? We're worried about you. So nobody's ever going to fully be happy. You know, some people are like, hey, good for you. You did a great job. But there's always two or three, like, I think you're good. You look sick. Well, you know what, man, I got a 44 regular suit on. I'm doing all right. Right, right, right. Now, I was going to ask you, and I mean, I don't know if you have an answer for that, but why do you think you needed too much? Because, I mean, I have my answers for it.

Like, I know why, you know, I mean, I don't know. Yeah, the excess of everything. Well, because what I finally understood once I got sober was that I was terrified of everything. Yeah. I was terrified of everything. I was terrified of everything, of not fitting in, not being enough. And you carry that stuff. Well, not everybody. My favorite line is in the movie, As Good As It Gets. Ellen Barkin and Kinnear are talking out in front of his dad's house. And he's a gay man. And he has to ask his father for money. And his

father doesn't accept them. And they're having this beautiful emotional talk. And then when they're done, Nicholson leads forward and he goes, I'm sure there are a lot of people having picnics with noodle salad, just no one in this car. And that's the tribe I'm from. So when you carry this not good enough thing

with you your whole life, if you don't spend some time repairing it, your whole life is going to be not good enough. And I've finally gotten to a place where I just try not to torture myself whole life, if you don't spend some time repairing it, your whole life is going to be not good enough. Yeah. And I've finally gotten to a place where I just try not to torture myself about that. And when I get to that place, I got some tools now to get me out of that, you know, and I make my, I try to make my life as much as I can about my family these days. And that keeps me very, very grounded.

I'm very grateful that I'm still married 23 years. You know, she's been through everything I could put her through. Yeah. And, and my son's flourishing up in college and, you know, and, and that's my gratitude, you know? And so if I stay focused on them, I try to stay away from me. My, my buddy always tells me, he said, Gardell, don't go into your head alone. It's a bad neighborhood. You need to take a friend with you. So that's what I kind of adhere to, you know. Now we're both, we're both Midwesterners. Yes, sir.

And there is, I can't remember where I read it once, but there was, I just saw, it was about some writer from the Midwest who was just like food obsessed. And it was an article, I don't know where I read it, but his, his daughter screams at him, dad only in the Midwest is overeating an act of heroism. Without question. And sometimes you get a t-shirt. Yeah, it is. It's a, it's a gluttonous thing. And for me, that's what it was. It was

putting out the fire of those emotions. And then, And then you're in the shame spiral after that. And instead of trying to find a healthy way to deal with that, you add more of the thing that's killing you. And so it's a cyclical thing. The hard one with food is, and if you don't have a problem with food, by the way, get on your knees and thank whatever God you pray to. Because it's awful. I put it on the shelf with booze and drugs. It's that dangerous. Yeah, yeah.

The difference with food is, you know, when you quit booze and drugs, you stop. Right. Food, you got to deal with three times a day at least. Yeah. You know what I mean? So if you're lucky enough to not have struggled with that, you know, be quiet.

Yeah. Don't tell a fat person they need to take a walk and eat a fish. We've heard that. Yeah, yeah. We've heard that. You know, it's not like we're going to go, what? What is this new news you have for me?

No, just be grateful that you don't have that. Yeah. The stop smoking one is a good one, too. You know, that's bad for you. What? Wait a minute. It's right here on the box. Exactly.

That's my last one, so I'm going to try to knock that one. Yeah, yeah. I got a, I get a DM once on Instagram. It was a CNN special about late night and I did an interview. And, and also to, you know,

and when I did it, it was during, I mean, I, I, I had lost a bunch of weight pre COVID. And then, cause I got divorced and, you know,

I couldn't eat for a few months. And then I kind of just caught that momentum and was like, yeah, might as well, you know, keep it going. Did pretty good. And then when COVID hit, I felt like, well, if we have to stay home, that means all rules are suspended, right? Like carbohydrates don't count anymore, right? So I put on all the weight. I head back.

And, you know, I didn't feel good about it or anything no i did this cnn show and uh you know just like an interview on it and some guy dms me hey buddy watching the cnn thing your weight is out of control man it's terrible that's nice get you know hit me up i'm'm a trainer. Yeah. And I just was like, A, fuck you. B, you want me to pay you to spend time with you after you tell me like. Your coaching is questionable. Yeah. Like, like the sight of you is alarming. Oh yeah. You know what? I think I would like to. Hey, what's your number? Yeah, make an appointment and get up early to come see you in a gym. Oh, yeah. But now, were you from kind of a, I mean, was it a hedonistic kind of background? It was just, man.

Were you from heavy people, you know? Yeah, most of my family. My mom and my dad was a little overweight. My mom was not. But I think it was the, you know, my parents got divorced at around, I guess I was about nine. And, you know, you just, different things like that stick with you and you don't realize how deep they go in. And you just, you know, and then the neighborhood I came from, you know, it was kind of like, you know, we had a bad day. Let's eat. We had a good day.

Let's eat. Absolutely. And it was that finish your plate culture, you know. Absolutely. Someone's starving. You need to finish that, you know. Yeah. We had a good day. Let's eat. Absolutely. And it was that finish your plate culture, you know. Absolutely. Someone's starving. You need to finish that, you know. Yeah. And, you know, I don't, you know, growing up in Pittsburgh, you know, they think, you know, they think a salad is a topping for a hamburger.

It's like this. You got to look for a bit. Or a salad has like mayo and jello in it. Yeah, you got to look real hard for a vegetable. And, you know, so it's part of the culture of where you come from. And then, you know, the, you know, it's about, you know, corner bar drinking and a social time. And for me, it was just, I couldn't, I couldn't moderate. Yeah.

I just didn't have that moderation button. You know, I just, and that's served me very well in my work ethic. Like I'm very good at, like, I'll do it till it's done. I'll do it as best as I can. But it was killing me in other areas. So those are the things I had to kind of look at to rewire. Yeah. Did you feel, I mean, because you're, you know, you're a sensitive artist.

I am. And you're. And I was scared to be that for a long time. Yeah. I was really scared. I'm going to say, what was that like when you're young and you start to realize, like. Well, it's not like in Pittsburgh, you can walk into a bar and put your arm around and go, a guy and go, I'm feeling a little fragile today. Yeah.

Yeah. You just didn't kind of talk like that. Right. So, um, when my parents split, we ended up in Florida with my mom and a guy she had remarried who was a complete douchebag. And, um, but Florida, um, I, I ended up finishing high school down there and there was a drama department. And, um, when I entered that drama department, because I always wanted to be a comedian.

Like, from the time I was nine on, I knew I wanted to do stand-up. Was there a moment that sort of— I was watching The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson with my grandmother every Friday night. Oh, wow. That was what did it for me. Yeah. And I just wanted to be a comedian. It was Carol Burnett and Grandma for me, too.

But those were the greats. Yeah, the greats. Conway and Harvey Korman. And we grew up in the golden age of that. And it just looked so mystical to me. And it looked like a way to be accepted. And it looked like a way to be comfortable and get attention seeking that you needed and all that stuff. It also brought laughter into the household.

Laughter, man. My grandmother's laughter was magical. And there was not a lot of laughter in our household. No, sir. No, not at all. And so when I found the drama department, it was the first place where I'd met these kids that were oddballs. Yeah. And this was great because, you know, our kids went to the same high school.

And I was able, my son got into drama over there. And I got to tell him, I said, man, you found the greatest tribe on the campus. They don't mind if you're a little weird. No, they prefer it. They prefer it. Exactly. And so I was, and where we lived in Florida, we lived in kind of a poor section, but you know how the counties will always scoop a group of poor kids thinking they're noble and take them over to the really nice, rich school, and they don't know that you're sentencing us to being made fun of your shoes, your pants, your teeth, your hair. You don't know what that is.

Welcome to ostracization. They should call it ostracization high. That's what that should have been. But when I found those kids, it was the first time I had ever said to somebody, like I had a bunch of punk rock friends when I was younger. Yeah, we're listening to Clash, man. It was Clash. But I was a Closet Duran Duran fan friends when I was younger. Yeah. Yeah, we're listening to Clash, man. That's Clash. But I was a Closet Duran Duran fan,

but I couldn't say that. And so the drama department was the first place where if you said, yeah, I like Duran Duran or something, and they'd go, oh, that's cool. I like so-and-so. Or they, I like them too. I don't dig them, but that's cool.

Right. And I had never heard kids talk like that because I'm from a culture of, if someone doesn't like what you like, then you got to go, nah, you don't know what you're talking about. Instead of, it can just be different instead of wrong. And so that was the first place I found that. And then what was really great was when my son joined drama over at the high school, I was able to convey that to him to let him know going in, like you have found the acceptance on school grounds. Yeah. Because being a jock is one thing. And I fiddled with that for a little while and

I never had enough money to be a preppy, but those are all cliquish things where the drama department was just this safe outlet for me. It probably is what kept me in school. It's probably the only thing that kept me going back to high school was I had a great drama teacher, even in like 11th grade, he was teaching us about Stanislavski and Meisner. And he always picked a play that was like way above our, like we did the book of Job and we did the ballad of the sad cafe. Like we didn't, we weren't, we weren't doing our town. This guy was like making us do this stuff.

Were you grasping it at the time or was it kind of that beside the point? I was getting what I could at that age. But looking back, I can't thank this man. His name's Kit Haskett. And I can't thank this man enough for what he instilled. And what's really cool, some of the people that I graduated with are working in the business and doing well. And we really believed we could do it. That place gave me hope.

Like, hey, man, maybe there's a place for me. Because everybody had me pegged for, you know, you're probably going to work at a gas station. And there's nothing wrong with that. But like, there was nobody going, yeah, he's going to succeed. You know what I mean? I didn't get that vote. But in this group of people, they were like, yeah, man, I think you could do it. I think you could do it too. And to have a safe place to dream when you're a kid is magic. And especially nowadays, man. I really try to tell my son, find your hope every day. Don't let that fire go. I don't care how bad it gets.

Don't let your hope go out. Because then you can, before you know it, you'll be making bullets and putting rice in jars. So just fucking find your hope, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and even if you have to adjust it. Yeah. You know what I mean? And, you know, it's kind of.

Yeah, I say all the time, any man can win a war for 24 hours. Yeah. All you got to do is today. Yeah. Just today. Do today's work today. Don't worry about the outcome. Yeah.

Because if you don't do anything, then all those bad things you're coming up with are going to come to fruition. Yeah. So just to today, man. Where's he at school now? San Francisco. Whereabouts? San Francisco State. Oh, wow.

He's taking their film program up there. Nice. And he wants to get into into film and he's loving it. And, you know, he came home, he's got bleach blonde hair now and his fingernails are painted and he's telling me how capitalism doesn't work. And I'm like, all right, man, you're right on time for 19, brother.

Right on time for 19. You'll get there. You'll get there. Well, you did let him go to San Francisco. You know what, man? It was all him, man. He's a California kid.'ll get there. Well, you did let him go to San Francisco. You know what, man? What did he expect? It was all him, man. He's a California kid.

Yeah. Like, he takes great pride in being from Los Angeles. He loves that. Yeah. But that kid's had flip-flops and shorts on his whole life. Yeah, yeah. I know, I know. You know what I mean?

I know. He's never had to run out, start the car, and run back in. Right, right. You know what I mean? Can't you tell my love my my my oldest uh my son was uh born in new york city but moved out here when he was like two and he used to tell his friends like well i was born in new york and it was so funny because he for the longest time was gonna was gonna go to college in new york he's gonna go to college in new y. He was going to go to college in New York City. Right.

And he got into Parsons School of Design. Great. Part of the new school. Sure. And within like three months was like, I want to come back. I got to come home. I got to come back. Well, that was Will's.

I want to ride in a car. That was Will's thing, man. He was like, he's like, look, I want to work in this business. And he goes, I don't want to go across the country and then work my way back. He goes, I want to just stay in California and then hopefully meet some like-minded folks that are trying to do this too. And then we're all going to invade the LA job market. I said, that's a pretty smart plan. Yeah. And I mean, the way I did it too, I mean, I came from the Midwestern perspective on that, was came out here, I mean, did stuff in Chicago, came out here with a group of people from Chicago to do a show here. And just had this moment of like, not everybody here is a movie star.

No. Not everybody here is an A-lister. No. This is an industry. Yeah. If I'm, and I, you know, and I had started in Chicago doing film production. I went to film school in Chicago and I'm like, you know, I could do, I could make, you know, there's probably really nice living being a prop guy out here. There's a lot of great living.

And you get toys. And that's it. And prop truck is fantastic. I couldn't agree with you more, man. I always looked at it like, you know, you don't have to be the starting pitcher. Middle relief pays pretty good, too. Right, exactly. I'm five, I'm in, throw for three, and I'm going to the bench.

I'm fine with that. Right, right. And that's how I always looked at it. Yeah. Yeah, and I didn't think what happened to me was going to happen to me. Right. I thought, you know, I was hoping to get—I always thought, you know, maybe you'll be the third banana, fourth banana on a show and, you know, parlay that into some standup and let that be what it was. And then, you know, Chuck Lorre changed everything. Yeah. You know, which was pretty

much a miracle. Right. You know, when you got out of, so you weren't good at school otherwise, you really didn't think like. I graduated with, I literally had a 1.3. Wow. And it was my second senior year and my American history teacher gave me the two-tenths of a point to graduate with the minimum GPA. Just to let you out the door. So that's why I have no argument with my son about school. Like, he's getting A's and B's, and I'm like, dude, you've already outshot the family. If you stop here, you've done better than everybody, just so you know. Yeah, yeah.

But his mother's a studier, so I lay that on her. Yeah, yeah. I tell her, your mother's all about—I always tell them, your mother will tell you how the world should be. Right. And she's right. Right. I'll tell you how the world is. Yeah. But somewhere in the middle of that is where you need to find your thing. Yeah. You know what I mean? So she's math, English, science, and manners, and I'm street corner and dealing with people. We have our lanes. Yeah. My ex-wife at one point said to me, because I always felt going to, like there was back to school night and you go and meet the teachers and they would try and tell you about the

particular kind of math they're teaching your kid. And I just wanted to say like, isn't that between you and him? Like, why do I have to be in on? It has nothing to do with me. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what this, like that's your business. And I'm glad I knew that.

Because I'm like, I'll just give you bad advice. Yeah. I know percentages. That's all I know. Well, my ex-wife at one point said to me, she said, I get the feeling, she said, I get the feeling that you don't really care that much about like their grades or school stuff. And I was like, oh, yeah. Yeah.

Same way. What am I going to tell you? You know, it's like, I, you know, I had a pretty decent GPA. I didn't even, I didn't really graduate college. I came just shy of it. And I just was like, I'm not sure. I'm not sure what the deal is. I, you know, I think when I started in this business, like I didn't know what to do. I didn't go to college because I thought, well, who's going to teach me standup in college? So my plan was go get a job at the comedy club and just get around it. That was always my, like my dad kind of put that in me, like,

go get around it. You'll start listening and hearing and you'll, so I just started, you know, cleaning the toilets at a comedy club and vacuuming the room. And then pretty soon I was answering the phones and then I was making the list for open mic night and I was doing open mic night. And then, you know, eventually I think being around it, you got to go get around what you want to do and then you kind of make your way in. And hopefully you find some folks that are taking the same journey as you and you don't feel so isolated or alone in it. But I believe getting around it is the key. Yeah. I think that, I think college probably, you know, it's. Well, that's the thing.

You're not, it's not like you want to be a heart surgeon. So you get a job, you know, filing papers at the hospital. Right. Exactly right. You know, I just wanted to learn how to write and I would go watch all the comics. And I was very lucky because at the end of the eighties, man, I saw all the greats. Yeah. I just saw the best to ever do it.

And it was a real education, just watching those guys and learning and listening. And with my son in college, I said, you're going to have to come down here and get your hands dirty, like by the end of college. And the rest of it, you're learning yourself. You're learning how to be out on your own. I mean, that's it. It's about being able to know that you have to be alone in this world sometimes. And that's a hard one. Did all, did you, was this all in Florida that you started all the comedy? Yeah, I started in December 28th, 1987. Me and my buddy Ben Rock went over, he drove me down there.

And he was one of the guys in my drama class and ended up being a production designer on the Blair Witch Project. And that's how he went. But we stayed close and he drove me down there. And we lied to the owners and said I was 21. And luckily, I was a big kid. So they're like, yeah, all right. Okay.

And I went up and I did great for five minutes the first time I ever did it. And then I sucked for like two straight years. But that bite, whatever that was, made me know, okay, this is where I want to be. This is what I want to do. Are you still in high school at this point? Yeah, I was just finishing. Okay.

12th grade, just finishing 12th grade. Yeah. I think I was 18 when I did my first open mic. 17 or 18, somewhere in there. And then it just builds from there? Well, I got on the road. I went out as a road comic and I did. How does that happen?

Well, you kind of, first you emcee at clubs and then you get to be like the local opener. And then maybe you finally get 30 minutes together and they give you a chance to feature before the headliner. And then maybe you meet a headliner in school and says, hey, I got a gig in Tampa. You want to come down and open for me? And so you do that and you start building your club resume back then. And, and then, you know, a club will recommend you, a headliner will recommend you. And then eventually you get to headline yourself. And then once you're headlining, you're making a decent wage. And I just thought if I could pay the rent and get a free burger and some booze everywhere, I win. I mean, that's just as high as I thought I could go. And then I heard

these guys about nine years in talking about a development deal at the bar of a club. I was out in Atlanta, the Punchline. And I was like, what? What are you talking? What is that? And I had no idea. And they were like, well, yeah, you can get a development deal. Maybe try to get a TV show.

You got to go out to L.A. to do that. And I was like, okay. So then I started setting my sights on Los Angeles. And it took me about another two years. So about 10 years on the road and then another quick 11 years out here, and it was an overnight success. Now, the road is a pretty unhealthy lifestyle. I mean— It was back then.

I don't think it is as much. The comics are a little smarter now and healthier. You know, we were like—you know, it looked like Tortuga in Pirates of the Caribbean. It was—everybody was drinking and just, you know, that was what you drank. You got some laughs. You slept till two. You know, I see the younger guys come in now. They got their laptops.

They want to know where the gym is. They're writing. They're being productive, which is what I probably should have been doing. Yeah, yeah. But that wasn't what was happening back then. Did you spark that lifestyle too, you think? I swam right into it. Yeah, yeah.

I just thought, you know, this is the greatest. You know, if one's good, a thousand must be great. Yeah. And, and then, um, you know, and then that finally caught up with me and I had to make that change. And, uh, and when I did my, I had a bit of a spiritual awakening out here in California, about, about 18 years ago and, uh, 15 really, but, but 18, I was thinking about it, but, but I really had a spiritual awakening that just kind of changed my perspective about who I was, getting comfortable with who I was, and then really starting to chase my dream

instead of just bitching about it. Is this before Mike and Molly? Yeah, way before. My wife actually changed my mindset. You know, I came out here from the Midwest, Pittsburgh, and Florida, and, you know, South, and I'd the Midwest, Pittsburgh and Florida and, you know, South, and I'd done all this gigs. And I did what I think a lot of us do when we're a little scared. We bitch about the place because the real fear is it's not happening yet. It's not happening for me

yet. So it must suck. Right. And my wife was like, I got to this place where we were probably going to have to move back East. And I said, I'm going to stay through one more pilot show or pilot season. And, and she said, well, just for this particular period of time, maybe focus your energy on loving this place. Like, why don't you embrace Los Angeles? All you do is bitch about it. Why don't you, it's a habit. So why don't you change your habit and just, just grow where you planted for a year. And that was the pilot season where I got Mike and Molly. Oh, wow. You know? How did you and your wife meet?

I met my wife in a cool way. I used to do this on stage. I saw her three times in one day. This is a true story. I saw her at a bank in Atlanta because I was working in my manager's club. Were you living in Atlanta? I was.

I had a little apartment in Atlanta. Me and my buddy Lee. Because when you're on the road, it doesn't matter. You don't really have to. It's just a place to put your shit. Yeah, yeah. When you're a road comic, you go home two days Nah, it's just a place to put your shit. Yeah, yeah. When you're a road comic, you go home two days a month.

And Atlanta's a good hub. It's great because you could drive everywhere within six, seven hours. Right. And I loved my time there. I really did love my time there. But I saw her at a bank in Atlanta. And then at the show that night, I was working at the Punchline. And her and her sister were at the club.

And I saw them in the line to the ladies room. And I said, that's that girl I saw earlier today. It was weird. And then I went to a jazz club because I love jazz and she was there with her sister. So I figured three times one day, I got to take a shot. Right. So I asked the bartender what she was drinking and he said some wine I couldn't pronounce. And I said, all right, well, give me one of those. Yeah. And I walked over to her table and I put it on the table and I said, I'm Billy. Drink this till I'm cute. Which I thought was a good line, except she looked at me and goes, I'm going to need another one.

I said, I think I love you. And that was it. And we moved in six months later and everybody said that was too soon. We got married a year after that. Everybody said that was too soon. Had a kid after that. That's too soon. And somehow we're still holding on.

Well, you just don't know yet it's it's still you're you're cruising for a terrible disaster i tell her at any moment andy i tell her at this point i go no one would blame you i put you through everything take half the money and go no one would no one would blame you yeah but she's she's hung in there and was it was it hard being you know with a stand a road comic for her in the beginning? Oh, my God, it must have been torture for her, especially when we had Will because, you know, we didn't have family out here. So, grandma's not around the corner. Right, right. No uncle's an aunt.

That makes a huge difference. Yeah, and I'm on the road trying to make rent. So, you know, I was home two days a week and she's got this baby all by herself, you know. And God bless her, man. She muscled through that all by herself through exhaustion, just did it all herself. And then, but it kind of turned us into this little, you know, the three of us are a good little tribe. Like, we found a way to just be with us, you know. And she really deserves all the credit for the first two years of that kid's life.

Yeah. Without question. Without question. When you would come home or did you get, like, was there a resentment that you, like, did she think you were out there having a big party? No, she's always been so great about that. The only thing that broke her heart was when my drinking got out of control. But she, she was always like, I knew who you were when I married you. Yeah. Like I knew what you did, you know what I mean? And I knew there was a chance you might not make it. I loved you anyway, you know? know and i i look back now and i see that my wife stood by me through not having any

money then having a baby then drugs and alcohol get out of control then getting sober and then getting fame yeah so any of those things could have took us out and somehow she stayed man and now i'm trying to pay that back now like i'm trying to go all right this needs to be more your time than my time because you have been you have been the rock for a long long time you know and and i i try to adhere to that i don't do it perfectly were there things that she put off you know um i i think her dream was to be a mom. She really wanted, that was one of her dreams. So she got to fulfill that. I did force her to quit her job when I first moved out.

Which was? Well, she had worked her way up to being a manager of a bank at like 22. Smart girl. Handles all our money, which is why I have money. Because if I'd have gone through this, it'd be over next year. And I would have a hot air balloon and a dolphin. I would be like,

I don't know what happened. And the dolphin won't fly the balloon. Yeah. But she was, you know, she's a woman and she worked her way up quickly. And, you know, it's kind of an old boy network

and not respectful because she was good at what she did and she just didn't like it. So she quit. And she said, you know what? I'm going to become a flight attendant. I'm going to fly all over this country and I'm going to see the country. And when we met, she was in the middle of that.

I was terrified I was going to lose her. And this was one of the asshole things I did. I go, you got to quit and come out here or this won't work. I don't want to lose you. To her credit, she went in and quit that day in tears, moved out to California. And I was so grateful. And then I said, okay, I got to go on the road for four weeks. And I'm surprised she didn't kill me. Like, cause it's the same thing.

I'm gone, gone, gone. Right. But she held it down, man. And so now she's looking for what's next because the boy is often doing college stuff. And so now she's trying to decide what kind of thing she wants to do. And I want to support whatever it is, you know, whatever it is. And when you say you had that awakening 15 years ago, what can you describe that? Well, what happened to me was, man, I just got to a place where I was about a hundred grand in debt. I could not stop drinking and Patty was, you know, going to leave and take, take my son with her. And rightfully so, you know, she, no one should be raised in that environment with an alcoholic. And, uh, and I, I, there was a good

friend of mine in the comedy business that was sober. And he was the guy that said, look, man, if you want to change this, I can help you. And I don't know what made me listen to him. Uh, probably the threat of losing my wife and son. It's like some people have to go all the way. They have to lose everything. Yeah. Or they have to go to jail. I don't know.

Bottom out. Yeah. I'm a bottom guy. Like, I like to go right. I'm like Butch in Sundance. I go right to the cliff and then I turn around. That's my thing. So in my life, the journey is to, hey, why don't we turn early?

Yeah. That's what I'm trying to do. Yeah, yeah. Hit the brakes, Thelma. That's what I'm trying to do. Hit the brakes, Thelma. That's exactly it. But that was enough for me to go, okay, I realize I can't do this myself. And when I was able to ask for some help, my life changed. And then suddenly, there was this influence in my life that I was able to get my fears out, to get rid of my old resentments,

to get rid of the things that were blocking me and try not to be a meathead. You know, I just, I try not to do any harm. I try, I like the doctor's creed, do no harm first. And I try, I try to live my life like that. Now, does that mean I don't snap once in a while in traffic or, you know, of course, I'm a human being, but I play a much better game than I used to. of course, I'm a human being, but I play a much better game

than I used to. You know, I have a high level of tolerance and I believe my patience is pretty good and I do my best. I still fall down, but not nearly like I used to. Was it therapy 12-step or a combination thereof? A little bit of combination of both. Yeah. Yeah, man. I needed a lot of help. I needed to sort of, my thinking was not right. I just couldn't come up with a good ending. I had all that instead, like, well, they call it contempt prior to investigation. Instead of just letting your life unfold, you know, you already know how it's going to go. Like your wife tells you about LA, you know? Right. That's exactly. She was telling me then, and I didn't realize how wise she was.

Right. But exactly right. Yeah. It's going to suck. Have you been there? No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going to suck. Right, right. I know She was telling me then, and I didn't realize how wise she was being. But exactly right. Yeah, it's going to suck. Have you been there? No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going to suck. I know it's going to suck because that's what I'm going to say. It's going to suck. And I got tired of being that guy.

It's exhausting. It just struck me, too, because that's all such a place of insecurity. Oh, God. Yeah, it's terror. Like you mentioned, like your friends in Pittsburgh, like, well, that music sucks. It's like, why does it frighten, what, why does it frighten you? Why does that music, why does Duran Duran frighten you? I think it's.

She's not a real wolf. She's just hungry like a wolf. I think it's just the fear of not being a part of. Yeah. And when you can get comfortable in your own skin and say things like, you know, oh, that's not for me. Without it being an emotional thing. Yeah. I think it's a great gift and a great freedom. Yeah. Yeah. Would you, like, was the, I imagine, like, as you said earlier too, I imagine a big part of that was learning to kind of like yourself. Oh, 100%. And had that been, had that been a part of your... Yeah. I wasn't aware of it until I got sick. Yeah. I wasn't aware that I had built up this front, this thing, this, this vacuumous, loud noise.

Yeah. But that was for my own protection. Right. Because I wasn't, I wasn't secure in what I was. And I'm not sure, I'm not sure I knew. Yeah. And that's where California has been. I love this place.

Yeah. I will never trade California. Yeah. It has been, it has helped me on so, not just work-wise. I've been very blessed work-wise, but what has happened to me as a person out here,

I will never, ever not love California. Yeah. Period. Can't you tell my love's a girl? Did you meet with resistance with your changing from people from your old life? Yeah, I lost some friends, you know, and even my dad was a little confused when I quit drinking

because when I finally said to him, I go, Dad, Pop, I quit, you know, and he goes, Beer, too? I'm like, Yeah, Beer, too, Pop. Yeah, we're going to quit Beer. All right, well, if that's what you want to do. My best friend in the world, though, Joey O'Connell, he was the best, like, all right, well, if that's what you want to do. My best friend in the world though, Joey O'Connell, he was the best. Like, cause I did lose some friends about it, you know, but most of my close friends were supportive. But my buddy Joey had, this was the most classic moment. We went out to this little watering hole after I'd been about six months sober. Cause I was like, you know, I'm a comic. I got to be able to go into these bar rooms and deal with this. So I said, let's just go out and see how I do. So we go to this place and the waitress knows us. So she brings over two beers. And I go, no, I'm no longer drinking.

Can you just get me a Diet Coke, please? And she's like, oh, okay, I'll take this away. And my buddy Joe goes, hold on, I'll take that. And then he looked at me and goes, I think this is going to work out for both of us. So your true friends stay by your side. You know, you find out who that is. I used to, I mean, it was years ago, before my kids were older, I had a couple of sober friends who used to, like, say,

let's go out to dinner and let's, you know, because I, I mean, I'm never once worried about my alcohol consumption. Like I, you know, drinking. A lot of people don't have that problem. It's just that one doesn't speak to me. There's others that do. There you go. But that one doesn't speak to me.

But I started to realize that like we'd be at dinner and I'd order a martini or an old-fashioned or something. And that they would just sit there and like, you know, like when a dog watches you eat. I was like, you fuckers are just watching me drink, aren't you? Just waiting for a drop to hit the floor. Oh, that looks good. Well, I'll still, like little things like my wife, you know, she'll have two glasses of wine. Yeah. And that baffles me.

Yeah. Or she'll leave a little bit in the wine glass. You're not going to, you got to finish? Why are you going to leave that there? Yeah. You know, so some people just don't have that wiring. Yeah. Let's go on to leave that there? Yeah. You know, so some people just don't have that wiring. Yeah. You know.

Let's go on to Mike and Molly. Sure. Had you done, had you been in any pilots? Had you had, what kind of success did you had after work? I was very lucky. I did a lot of, I got a lot of parts. Yeah. Like I was always, you know, man number one. Yeah, yeah.

The plumber or, you know, or I got a couple of good ones. Like I was a detective once and, but nothing steady until Greg Garcia and Alan Kirshenbaum, who I just adore, God rest Alan. They gave me a reoccurring part on a show called Yes, Dear. I guest starred on your show one time. You were very kind to me. It was Andy Richter Rules the Universe. Oh, Controls the Universe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got to guest star. That's right. You were very good with me where I played the fat guy next door that had two hot chicks and nobody could figure it out, which was great. But Greg and Alan really, and especially Greg Garcia took a lot of time with me and, and they gave me this reoccurring role. And that was like a real education to be able to get an episode every four episodes and to learn how that works. Yeah. And then that kind of prepared me for Mike and Molly. And when I got Mike and Molly,

for me, it was terrifying, but I was surrounded by such talent that it really, I mean, I really stepped in shit, I mean, in the best way, because I had Melissa McCarthy and the rest of that cast, Lou Mastillo, Rondi Reed, Reno Wilson, Namby Namby, Swoosie Kurtz, Katie Mixon,

they were like the Chicago Bulls because they were, you know, and they were all formerly trained like Melissa, you know, the Groundlings and Illinois College

and Reno went to the School of Fame, Namby, Shakespearean Train, Lou and Swoosie are off of Broadway, Rondy, Shakespearean Train. Lou and Swoozie are off of Broadway. Rondi's out of Steppenwolf. And then I come out of the comedy club kitchen. You guys want to do a play?

And so I learned. I got some extra chicken fingers. Yeah, exactly. Everybody's hungry. I learned so much from them. And then I had the gift of having Jimmy Burroughs direct us for the first two years. He's the best.

And then I have Chuck Lorre overseeing it. And we had Peter Roth at the time at Warner Brothers. So like, I really stepped into this. Really? You did find like, there's a lot of, you know, talk about a treasure trove. There's names you can name of like, boom, famous or just like successful people.

Like there are names that you could say, well, I got in this show that so-and-so was running and that guy's had a bunch of hits and I'd be like, ugh. I'd be like, ugh, that fucking asshole. But you found, you know. No, I was surrounded by the best. Like you said, Jimmy Burroughs. I got to work with him once and I was like, oh yeah.

He's magic. I get it. I get it. He's magic, man. And he just knows stuff. Him and Chuck share that. They just, they've seen so much television that they just know when shit's going to work and they tell you something and you're like, that's not

going to work. And then you do it and the audience lights up and you're like, how did you know? Like Jimmy would say something as simple as, say the line, then drink the coffee. Don't drink the coffee, then say the line. And you do it and the audience explodes. I'm like, how did he know that? You know what I mean? So I really absorbed as much as I could from that. I really tried to learn. And Melissa was such a great partner because, you know, she's so talented and her improv skills. And, you know, like we got to season three where, you know, she'd become a big movie star too. And she, you know, we would do

two takes for the writers and then they would let her do one. And then I got to develop this really cool straight man thing where I, and then I would say to her, don't, I don't want to know what you're going to do because then the reaction will be super fun. And I finally got, they made me, that cast, especially Lou and Rondi and Reno. Those three really helped me so much. But I got so comfortable in that place. And again, it was the drama department again. Now I'm with these kids that accept me for who I am and we all have the common goal of a great show. And I just think that was a once in a lifetime experience.

And I'm very grateful for the show I'm doing now. I'm very proud of the show I'm doing right now. And it's been a lovely group of people over there. But that Mike and Molly experience was, it was, it was really spectacular. Like, I honestly couldn't believe I was in the middle of that a lot.

Yeah. It took till about season three where I was really comfortable and not terrified. When, when Melissa starts to take off in the way that she did. Yeah. I mean, is there,

I mean, how is that for you? Are there moments? I hated her. No. No, but I mean, are there moments of envy? No. No, really? Because what, for is that for you? I hated her. No. No, but I mean, are there moments of envy? No. No, really?

Because what, not for me, and I don't believe for our cast either, we celebrated for her. We rooted her on, because I think we were all at an age that we knew too, that her success was only going to amplify Mike and Molly. It was just going to bring, it was going to bring the tide up for everybody. And she was never an asshole about it. You know what I mean? She came in the same hair up, screaming about dropping the kids off at school. And you're like, you can't not love her. So it was like, you know, so it was easy to root for her. Every fucking radio show I went on asked me that question. Yeah, but you're jealous, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What

they didn't understand was I had almost lost my wife and kid. I had almost killed myself with drugs and alcohol. And now I'm the star of a show in the middle of this great comedy. Like, I was just, I used to get excited about my parking space. Because I was a fat kid in Hollywood, man. I used to have to park way out. You know that stride, like gate. Sure. And you got to do the, by the time you get there, you just look like a serial killer and now i'm parking right by the door are you kidding me and we have insurance

so my perspective really allowed me to just enjoy that ride yeah it really did it really did and it's also honestly i mean this is something and i've talked about before, being number two, I started to realize, oh, this is nice. It's wonderful. Oh, this is nice. Wonderful. There's all the bullshit. He has to deal with so much bullshit. He has to talk to so many people whose names I don't remember.

Yeah. Well, my wife was the gift. Hey, Andy. And I go, hey, guy. Yeah, my wife was always the gift. She'd be like, that's so-and-so. Yes, yes. Thank you, honey.

Hi, Pete. How are you? Burroughs gave me the greatest advice, man. The week of the pilot, he came up and he said, sit down, honey. So I said, I got some advice for you. I'm not going to tell you what to do, but you need to hear this. I said, okay, what is it? He said, I'm going to tell you an old phrase.

The fish thinks with the head. He says, you're number one on the call sheet. So you come in here and act like an asshole. Everybody else is going to tell you an old phrase. The fish thinks with the head. This is your number one on the call sheet. So you come in here and act like an asshole. Everybody else is going to act like an asshole. So you come in here and act like a gentleman. Your set's going to flourish. It's up to you. I hope you make the right choice.

And he walked away. It's the greatest advice anybody ever gave me. It's, yeah. I mean, it's, and I have felt the same thing, but I didn't, I never put it as succinctly. He just nailed it in like four months. You know, he just knew exactly what I needed to hear same thing, but I never put it as succinctly. He just nailed it in like four months. He just knew exactly what I needed to hear. It was really great to me that way. One of the shows I was on, there was an actor who had been on,

he had been acting since he was young. And it was like one of our first shooting days. And he started to kind of have a little bit of a fit about the way his hair was being done or something like that. And I just was eavesdropping on it. And one of the actresses in the show pulled him aside and I heard her say, she said, this isn't that kind of show. Yeah, good for her.

She's like, look around. This is not going to be like that. And to his credit, he went, oh, okay. He got it. And then he wasn't, you know. Well, I think it's what you're raised in. It's the culture that you come up in. But if you start with gratitude, man, if you can hold that gratitude, it's just the greatest.

I mean, there's 4,000 people outside the gate that want your job. You know, don't waste it. Right. You know, and I told the cast, and it was nice with this new cast, you know, with Jeannie Gachere and Falake and Barry Shabaka, who I love, and Matt Jones and Mary Beth. Like, we have this great crew again. But I said to them when we started, I've been through it, and I'm going to tell you right now, it's ending.

Yeah. So how you choose to spend your time on this journey is everything. Yeah. It's ending. Yeah. So how you choose to spend your time on this journey is everything. Yeah. It's ending. Yeah. In one to five years, they're going to tear all this shit down. Five other squawkers are coming in here.

So let's enjoy what we have. Yeah. Let's try to stay there. Yeah. Yeah. And also, I did a show where I was a parent of quintuplets. It was called quintuplets. That was the one I did.

It was quintuplets. It was quintuplets. Yeah, because when you were saying it, I was like, I knew you had been on one of them, but I couldn't. I was like, wait a minute. The next or near. I don't remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I remember one of the kids had been in like Soul Plane or something. Or'd been on some MTV show and he was better known than the other kids. And by kids, they were supposed to be 15. They ranged in age from 16 to 23, I think. And some of the old, like when we were doing press stuff, the one kid that had the most notoriety was getting the most attention and the other kids are getting all fucking pissy about it. And it was so, I mean, I didn't presume to be the dad, but in that moment I stepped in and I said, hey, none of this means anything. If you're going to be mean to him over that, fuck you.

You know what I mean? And you're a hundred percent right. Yeah, yeah. My buddy, my buddy, Michael Badalucos, a great actor was on the practice and a brother were out to many things. Yeah. Son of Sam. He did all, but he's just a dear friend, was on The Practice and Oh Brother, We're Out to Many Things. Yeah. Son of Sam. He did all.

But he's just a dear friend. But he used to always remind me, remember, no matter what you do, that and $2 gets you right on the subway. Don't take yourself too seriously. Right, right, right. And he's right about that. Yeah. And I think it's good to be that example on the stage. You know?

Because, I don't know, man. Look, it's so quick-lived. It goes so quick. Yeah. Why the stage, you know? Because, I don't know, man. Look, it's just so quick-lived. It goes so quick. Yeah. Why waste it, you know? When Mike and Molly ended, I mean, what was your headspace at that point? I thought, okay, that was it. I got my ticket stamped, and now I'll do some stand-up and then start looking for some dramatic stuff.

And I was lucky enough to land a role on a show called Sun Records, which again, I very luckily fall into these directors. I got to work with Roland Joffe for eight weeks. And I got to play Colonel Tom Parker

and do it. And it was probably the best acting I've done. I think six people saw it. And then CMT got the price tag for that show and said, we should go back to that show

where people catch fish with their arms. Okay? So that was over. I've done that, by the way. Sure. It's really fun. And I just focused on stand-up, and then I did a game show.

I love game shows. I would love to do another game show. I get to do them, and I can't even believe. I can't even believe. I say that in cartoon voices. I just can't even believe that I get to do that for a living. Exactly. And I love it.

And I'm a game show guy, so I love it. And then about a year and a half, two years after Mike and Molly, Chuck called me and he said, I got an idea here. And I think you might be right for it. And they come in and he told me what it was. And I said, yeah, I'm in. Whatever. You changed my life. Whatever you want. Yeah. And I said, yeah, I'm in. Whatever. You changed my life. Whatever you want.

Yeah. And then this show, it blossomed. And I can't believe we're going to go into season five next year, which will probably be our final year. And then after that, this time after, I think what I want to start doing now is I do want to look for a game show. I like hosting game shows. I want to do something fun. I like that. I'm cheesy.

I like that. Yeah, yeah. But I'd also like to find some roles that you would go, holy shit, that was Billy? Yeah. Like, I'd like to play the weirdo, or I'd like to play the bad guy, or I'd like to take a real shot at some dramatic stuff. Yeah, just to make a turn, you know, and to try to do that. But if nothing else happens, man, I've been overpaid. Yeah.

You know? I hope they never find out. Yeah, Yeah. Now, is that, I mean, is that pretty much, is that your future plan at this point? Yeah. And just kind of keep doing that? I want to find, I want to find cool little dramatic parts and take a chance on that. Yeah. Or maybe get a part of like a weird show, a streaming show that's odd, something I wouldn't have done before. You know, I've been kind of middle down the road sitcom guy for so long. But doing that Sun Records thing really made me go, hey, well, maybe I can bat the other side of the plate.

So I'd like to try that. And I'd like to look for a fun game show to host. I hosted this thing short-lived called the Monopoly Millionaires Club. And I loved it. We filmed in Vegas. And people could win a million dollars. And it happened like three times. Yeah, that's, I loved it.

When people make real money. It was awesome. Crazy. So I hope that happens. I've talked about it on this show before when I just was a guest on, I think it was Password. Right. And helped a lady win. And it wasn't even the big prize.

It was a Disney crew. But still. She's a school teacher. That's a big deal. Yeah. And while they're playing, they're like, you'll spend three nights. Yeah. It was a Disney crew. But still. She's a school teacher. That's a big deal. And while they're playing, they're like, you'll spend three nights doing that. She looked at me and she grabbed my hand and she went, those are so expensive.

Of course, man. And when you see that perspective, you're like, we're giving away shit that's making people happy. It's real. I did say, if I ever got one, my buddy Kevin Belenkov, he produced the Monopoly one. We're always trying to find the next one. We're going to try to pitch the next one. But I said, no matter what we do, at the end, we have to go back to giving away Rice-A-Roni and Turtle Wax. I used to always say that I did. Rice-A-Roni and Turtle Wax.

That's right. Botany 500. Exactly. Do you ever scratch the stand-up itch how do you feel about that going into your old age I think I might be done

yeah I got to as far as I could get with it I was a good comic I don't think I was ever a great comic yeah but I was pretty good

and I got up to theaters and casinos which was wonderful what a wonderful run that was. And then COVID hit. And because of what my health condition was, I didn't go out doing stand-up during that time. And it gave me time to be home for the first time in my life. Like, really.

Like, even during Mike and Molly, if there was a weekend gig, I'd finish Friday on a plane Saturday, back Sunday, back to work Monday. Like, I really struck while the iron was hot as much as I could. But being home made me slow down. And then it was Will's last year of high school. And with them not being in school, being home and helping be in a distraction from, because that's a lot for kids that had to stay home. Especially if it's your senior year. That's what I'm saying. So I wanted to be there for him. And then I started to to stay home. Especially if it's your senior year. That's what I'm saying. So I

wanted to be, I wanted to be there for him. And then I started to like being home. And then, you know, my wife started like having me home on the weekends and it just became like, you know, I don't think I want to go anywhere. And then I was lucky enough to get this next show. And so I was like, hmm. And so I haven't done it in about two and a half years, but I went up two weeks ago just to see if I could still hit the ball. Here in town? Yeah. Just I found a little open mic night in Burbank and just went in very unassuming. Flappers? No, no, like off the map place. Oh, okay. And I just, and I, you know, one night a week, open mic, 20 people, four foot stage, like the old days. And I went up and I did good. But when I came off, I didn't have that, boy, I got to go do this again.

Yeah, yeah. And that made me go, wow, maybe that fires out. I don't know. Maybe there's one more hour in there. I got a couple of good stand-up friends who keep torturing me to go back out. And I love them for it. I'm grateful for it. But I don't know, man.

I think I may have sanded the edges off too much. Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, I'm amazed at people. Because for me, you know, I came from improv, which is just a different thing. I, A, don't like being on stage by myself that much. It's like I'd like, you know, even when I did improv, I realized it wasn't even the shows.

It was the hanging out with the people. The connection. Because, yeah, in Chicago, they cancel shows. And that was the place for that. Yeah. That was the place. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.

I mean, I didn't even realize it was, you know, it was like duck pin bowling somewhere. You know, it was like it seemed like such a local kind of thing. I didn't even realize this sort of like larger implications of it. Yeah, absolutely. But even when the show would get canceled, we'd all still be together and I'd get what I wanted, which is being funny with funny people. Cause we'd go out to the bar and, you know, and have fun. But I just, you know, I reached a certain point where it's like, among the things I say, when people say like, do you still do improv? I'm like, I don't leave the house to go get nervous. Like, you know, like this, if I leave the house, it's to go do something pleasant, not something that, and what I've been debating with is, do I have the desire to go, all right, I got to get this swing back?

And I don't know yet. For a while, I said I was done. Lately, I've been feeling like I'm just not doing it right now. And we'll see what happens from there. We'll see where it goes from there. So maybe this summer, I'll mess around with it. So I still think of funny shit, and I try to write it in my notebook. But then 7 o'clock rolls around and SportsCenter I still think of funny shit and I try to write it in my notebook.

But, you know, then 7 o'clock rolls around and SportsCenter's on. I'm like, I'm not going anywhere. Yeah, and what are we having for dinner? I can have three ounces of it, so maybe I'll stay home. I'm a French woman. Three bites, push away. Three bites, push away. Well, what do you think the moral of the Billy Gardell story is?

I mean, do people, you know, sometimes it takes the form of advice when people ask you, but I mean, what do you want people to take away from you? From my ride? Yeah. One, anything's possible. Yeah. If a guy like, you know, if I could be a leading man at 370 pounds, there's hope for all of us. Yeah. The other thing is, man, be kind and be lame.

It's a much easier life. Yeah. Be lame? Be lame. What do you mean lame? Lame. I don't need to make a lot of noise. I don't have to enter every conversation.

I don't have to be at every part. I don't care. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just try. You mean be kind of boring. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's nice. It can be kind of boring. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's nice. It's a nice life.

It's a nice life. I find appreciation in little things, man. Yeah. And that's because of what happened when I got sober. Like, I was a guy

that didn't cry a lot. I'll cry at anything. I cry more than dick for mail. Like, I'll get new garbage cans. Like, look at those. Those are great. The lids aren't busted. My wife said, get in the house. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and put some clothes on. I just, I'll get new garbage cans. Look at those. Those are great. The lids aren't busted. My wife said, get in the house.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put some clothes on. I just, I can't believe what happened to me. So I like to put the message out there that, you know, you can change anything if you really are willing to. You know, that's it. Well, thank you for. Brother, you're a peach. Thank you.

Oh, listen, it's been great seeing you. And thank you so much for coming out. And good luck. Bob and Abishola is. Monday nights, 830 CBS. Monday nights. And you are starring in the upcoming movie, The Vortex. I don't know if you knew that. I did.

I did this cool little thing, man. It's an hour—I think it's an hour, and they're going to put it in some festivals. And it's about this gambling degenerate that's also kind of the psychologist for all the whack jobs in the casino while he's playing at the slot machine. And I really think I got to do some good work in there. So I'm waiting to see how that all edits together. But I'm in literally every frame of this movie. Oh, wow. So I'm going to see how interesting I really am.

Because if my ass hurts 15 minutes in, I'll be like, what are you doing? Yeah. But I think I did some great work. and I got to work with some lovely actors, and it was a totally different thing for me. And that'll be coming out in some festivals here a little bit later, and I'm hoping that shines a little different light on me, which is where I want to kind of head after this. Great.

Yeah, man. Well, thank you so much. See you at Ralph's. You'll see me there. And thank all of you out there for listening. And I'll be back next week with more Three Questions. Bye. The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco production.

It is produced by Sean Doherty and engineered by Rob Schulte. Additional engineering support by Eduardo Perez and Joanna Samuel. Executive produced by Joanna Solitaroff, Adam Sachs, and Jeff Ross. Talent booking by Paula Davis and Gina Batista with additional booking support from Maddie Ogden. Research by Alyssa Graal. Don't forget to rate and review and subscribe to The Three Questions with Andy Richter wherever you get your podcasts.