The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Bobby Moynihan: Drunken Youth Stories (The Andy Richter Call-In Show Re-Release)

Episode Date: August 7, 2026

This week, we're looking back at one of our favorite "Andy Richter Call-In Show" episodes with SNL great Bobby Moynihan! In this episode of Andy’s weekly SiriusXM radio show, callers share stories about the world's worst massage experience, getting banned from local radio, peeing your pants, bad Thanksgiving memories, and much more. Want to call in? Fill out our Google Form at BIT.LY/CALLANDYRICHTER or dial 855-266-2604. This episode previously aired on SiriusXM’s Conan O’Brien Radio (ch. 104). If you’d like to hear these episodes in advance, new episodes premiere exclusively for SiriusXM subscribers on Conan O’Brien Radio and the SiriusXM app every Wednesday at 4pm ET/1pm PT. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Conan O'Brien. Conan O'Brien. Sorry. Sorry, we're just doing too much cocaine. We lost track of time. Yeah, it's the cocaine. Here at Sirius XM, they don't have coffee machines. They have cocaine machines.

It's why all the programming is so intense. Hi, everybody. It's the Andy Richter-Callin show again. I got Bobby Moynihan in here with me. which I'm thrilled. Yeah, I came late. Yeah, you went on thing. I apologize.

I was just gone with the cocaine thing. I was late because I was getting, I stopped at the cocaine machine. Right, right. I didn't have any quarters. It's really bad cocaine because it's super cheap. It's old. It's old, cheap cocaine. Yeah.

It's tan. Yeah. I don't know why it's that color. Bage cocaine. Yeah. Yeah, the baby laxative has gone bad that they cut it with. A baby laxative is the only good part of it And then is most is just drywall

That's right Although I am shitting my pants constantly Same Because the baby laxative Apparently works for adults Yeah Even if you inhale it Well it's scientifically proven all adults are just giant babies

It's true It's true I know I am I sure know I am I mean if you saw me nude you would know I would go as far as like Two of the giantest babies in America are in this room right now

Absolutely. I cannot tell you how many times women in my life have seen like old films of me as a toddler and said like, oh my God. Just glasses. You just have glasses now. And more hair or less hair depending on when the, it was taken. Every single episode of S&L there was a diaper in my dressing room unless it was December. Then there was a guy. Oh my God. They used to do that on Conan. It was always. I was on. Conan in the diaper. Were you? Really? Yes.

Wow. We were the dove men. Remember that ad when it was like all the dove women, but it was like they're not regular models. Oh, right, right. We're heavy set. Yeah, yeah, exactly. To be inclusive.

Right. Conan said to not, he wanted to be inclusive too, so he had the dove men and he brought us all out in our underwear. Was this before SNL or? Way before. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Because you used to do bits on our show, too. All the time. We pretty much introduced you to SNL. Yeah. Yeah, if they weren't for me. Everyone says it. Lauren called me this morning, and he said, you go to see you. Tell them, thank you.

Thanks for everything. And I mean everything. Even little golden books. Thank him for that for me. Wait, did you see that this is not a joke? Did you see that there is an SNL golden book coming out? No. You know, kids golden books?

You know those things? Yeah, yeah, of course. There's one coming out. Lauren used to own it. Is that true? Lauren owned. That was, and this is what I always heard. Is that why?

Perhaps. There's an S&L Golden Book coming out. Look. Oh, my God. There, they just brought it up on the screen. I'm not, I'm not. Wait, and it looks like those dolls. What do you call those?

Funko Pop. Yeah, Funko Pop dolls. I am not sure drunk uncle will be in the children. I hope more than anything, but I doubt it. Look up a little golden book's Lauren Michaels. Oh, my God. If that's true, yeah, because he... I like to think he wrote them all.

I like to think he owned it. He owned it. He owned it. This is something I heard of. Learn my goals. No, this is what I had heard that he... Oh, bought the rights to golden book. He had SNL and he made a good living, but he, like, you know, like his best friend is like Paul McCartney and Paul Simon.

Yeah, they own, like, floors of the plaza. And they have a gazillion dollars. So Lorne apparently bought little golden books when it was in the toilet, held on to it, you know, got it back on its feet, and then resold it. And that was sort of like he made a good pile of money on that. I hope that's true just because like also good for him. I know he loves like writing and pencils. Yeah. Yeah.

He owns a pencil factory. He loves pokey little puppies too. Loves them. But anyway. How do we get on that? Oh, who cares? Yeah. You were correct.

It was acquired by Broadway video when they bought all of those like the old Christmas Claymation specials. It was part of the same thing. Wow. Genius. Wow. Don't ever talk on air again, Sean. How dare you.

God damn it. No one wants to hear that. What the fuck was you on thinking? Yeah, it's true. He woke up this morning and thought that that was okay. Yeah, yeah. Today will be my day. My air.

debut. Oh, I love Sean D'Orty. He's the producer of this show, which means, I don't know, what does that mean? He owns most of Golden Books now. He does. He does. He has to restock the cocaine machine, and he, if you go to his house, you snort the cocaine off of Golden Books. I will be going to the house. Yes, yes. Yeah. The little train that could, and man, you can't after you get some of that sweet blow. The little train that can't help. Can't help itself, but go, go, go. Anyway, so we're talking today. I'm supposed to say that you're from Saturday Night Live, duct tales, which I did not know. Woo-hoo.

That's nice. Monster's University, Secret Life of Pets, and the upcoming film, Fixed. Is that about spaying and nearing? I don't think that's ever coming out. Oh. Last I heard, it was like in the Wiley Coyote situation where it was put on a shelf and no one will ever see it. From the up-downing. from the stillborn film.

I loved it. It was fun. Fix. Was it an animated columner? Yeah, it was an animated film with Gendi Tartovsky. Oh, yeah, yeah. Gendi Tartovsky from PowerPov girls. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wonderful, wonderful guy. Yeah, we'll see. I think he was a Columbia College Chicago graduate, as am I. I mean, prove it. And Pat, I don't need to fucking prove anything to you. Okay. You were late. Correct.

You're the one with the cocaine machines. I am. I love cocaine. The only reason I stopped and got some was because it was a quarter. Right, right. Yeah. It's a one ball, not an eight ball. It's a one ball of cocaine.

Anyway, our topic today, callers, is drunken youth stories. Clearly. Well, I mean, you could tell cocaine use stories. If you were a rich kid. If I don't want to ever work again. Yeah. Actually, this is an intervention. This is no show.

This is a dumb place for a name. family in the studio next door. How about your drunken youth? No, it's drunken youth stories. And 855-266-2-604 is the phone number. So if you have one, give us a call. I imagine you got some good ones, you know? I didn't.

No. No? All right. I'll see you guys later. We'll be. Bye. Bye, Bobby. Have a good tea.

Bye, bye, Bobby. Went away on a pony. A little, tiny little pony. A very little pony. I did not drink or do anything until very, very late in life. Like almost when I was done with college. Really? Yeah, kind of.

Like, yeah. Were you just scared or like was it? I was terrified. No. My father owned me, because you can be, you know, it's scary. I agree. My father owned a liquor store. And he was a, so it was just around a lot.

Yeah, yeah. It was a terrible alcoholic, just drank a lot. Yeah, yeah. So, like, I saw the effects of it, and it just wasn't for, like, I just, it wasn't for me. Like, I just went like, I don't know, it's stupid. Right, right. But, that being said, my parents both chain smoked in the house. So, like, I smoked cigarettes.

Yeah, passively. Like, you know, like, and stuff like that. But, like, I didn't smoke weed until, like, way late in college. Yeah, yeah. And then, like, never really did anything bad. I kind of went through phases with everything but stopped and then like weed was like, I like this. I'll stick with that.

Yeah, yeah. But like never really, uh, but I have millions of drunken high school stories because all my friends were lunatics. They were all lunatics. They were all lunatics. Did you end up driving? Definitely. Well, yeah.

Not only did I drive, I had a, I bought a minivan. Oh, wow. So that I could have all my friends. And we, it was like I had a, there was a rubber ducky glued to the hood where the hood ornament was. Like, it was one of those. Like, it was just like. We drove around in that van and we had friends who had literal vans. My friend Anthony Choppah, I won't say his name, but his real name is Anthony Chopp.

Yes. Right, right. He's the best. That's an amazing fake name you thought out. No, that's really, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He had a van and he, somehow he stole it, a McDonald's tables and chair and drilled it into the back of the van. So there was a McDonald's table and chair in the back of the van. Wow.

We would just drive around. Yeah. That's all we did was drive around. You don't know how he stole it? Like what? That's incredible. I mean, he stole it. He went in with a drill.

Really? Yeah, it was a lunatic. He's a could now he does like when you got to get your house inspected. House inspection. That. Hey. Oh, that's there. A house server.

Like he's like he could. Yeah. He was always that guy. He was always like handy and building stuff. Right, right. Yeah. Like a lot of those. good friends and we stole everything.

Yeah. He could have spicked out some better furniture for the back of the event. One billion percent completely disagree. Oh, okay. All right. You're right. You're right. Honestly, for as...

Maybe you don't like chairs in the shape of French fries. If you saw my house, you would know how wrong you are. My bed is just, it's a big hot dog bun. I would 100% have one of those like Batmobile race car benefits. if I could. I mean, I can. Right, right. Why I don't.

Yeah. Well, uh, wife. Yeah. Yeah. She'd be fine with it. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

She knows. She knows. She knows I'm an idiot. Yeah. Yeah, we, uh, I mean, we, uh, I drank when I was a kid. Like, my parents were the, uh, I'd rather your kids drink over here than out somewhere else. Yeah. Because also, too, like, this, and this is something I kind of have brought in.

My dad was like, I'd rather drink alone at work. then drink with you kids then be home at work at work my store my domain that has guns

all over the place just in case no guns good man dollar heart no guns really wow because usually liquor stores

they got to have a couple guns around oh do I tell yeah no he had an ice pick he was not a joke referred to as ice pick Bob wow yeah for an incident where someone tried to rob the store.

Wow. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. Well, is it? If he's like, usually, like, what are you going to segue into professional wrestling with? He has it. It's all just the shoot is greased.

Ice pick, bye. Here he comes. Oh, man, ice pick. That's fucking terrifying. Yeah. Yeah. Had an ice pick. There were, I was, I used to work there all the time because I was a bit,

child and that's what happened. Sure, yeah, no, that's what you do. Literally working the cash register. And there were, uh, he took a staple gun underneath the, like the counter and he just went kunk, kunk. So there was like two staples, you know what I mean? Sure, sure, yeah. And that didn't, weren't fully in.

And he slid the, uh, uh, ice pick right there. So it was like, anything happens. Grab the ice pick, kong, a guy, wow. Yeah. You know, I just, a friend of mine in Chicago, I was nine, uh, he ran his dad's, he ran his dad's liquor store. And I used to hang out and get behind the counter. There were like guns every, there's like four guns in the place.

Not a gun, not a gun. Yeah, yeah. And now, like, as an adult, like that never dawned on me. Not a gun. Yeah, yeah. Never a gun, an ice pick. Because liquor stores. And also just like 10-year-old slammed on New Year's Eve.

Wow. Working a cash register. In Jersey? New Rochelle, New York. Oh, New Rochelle, okay. Wow. We should get to the phones. Nah, I disagree.

Yeah, but I mean, we should hear the people's stories. I don't have a lot of good. I mean, I was drunk when I was a kid, but I don't have any, like, really crazy ones. Because I was always afraid. I was, see, I was afraid to get in trouble. Like, I drank, and I didn't smoke weed until I was out of high school, but I was always, like, afraid to get in trouble. Yeah.

I don't know, you know, just. I was afraid to get in trouble, too. I was good of getting out of it, but I was afraid of it. Well, and I've also mentioned before, like, whenever there, the cops would show up somewhere, people would send me to go talk to them. Well, that was just like a natural sort of like, Andy, go talk to him. We're talkers and we have a little bit of an Eddie Haskell vibe about us. You know, like, we're really sorry that our friends are idiots.

Or it's like, yeah, and it's also, I think dad stuff. You know, it's like just dad. Like, I feel like I was a dad before I was a dad. Agreed. Yeah, same. And in Chicago, like, it'd be like somebody would say, let's all drop acid and drive to the Indiana dunes and watch the sun come up. And this is like midnight.

And my answer would be like, no. And then everyone would go, yes, let's. And I'd be like, oh, fuck, I guess we're doing this. I'll drive. I didn't not take the acid, but I did drive. That's amazing. I'm not letting any of these fucking morons drive, but I would do it. Mine was we're all at our friend Jay's house.

What are we? And everyone's wrecked. What are we going to do? And it's like, well, we know what we're going to do. We're going to get in the van. We're going to drive around and we're going to collect all of the recycling bins that we can and lawn ornaments that we can and we're going to go throw them on the lawn of our enemy. That's what we're going to do. And I went fine.

And by the enemy, you mean a church. I meant a Catholic church. Oh, callers. Drunken youth. Let's hear it. We got six, I guess. Is it six? C-I-X from Cape Cod?

Yes, my name is Six. Hi, Six. How are you? I'm great. How are you all doing? Good. Is that short for Cisto? It's short for, I'm the six person in a hippie house, and they didn't have a name for me, so they called me Six. Wow. Oh, I like that. That's nice. That's nice.

That's nice. Yes, I'm not Six from Hell either, but I like to like it. Never thought you were. You sound like a nice kind. Yeah, you do, but you do sound like you drank a lot when you. you were younger and older. Oh yeah, I started at about 12. Oh, nice. Yes. That's good. As long as you've got double digits, you're fine. Thanks for all to talk about cocaine. My nose has been running. Oh, sorry. Oh, well. Well, tell us. I hear you got a New Orleans story for us. I do. When I got out of high school, I joined the Coast Guard, and when I got out of boot camp,

I got stationed in New Orleans. Nice. So my first week there, the captain took us. new guys out on the town to show us around and drink and, you know, have dinner, whatever. So we went to Pat O'Brien's. I don't know if you know Pat O'Brien's. I think of these things called hurricanes. They're served in like flower vases. Yes. Yes.

Yes. And they're kind of pink and they're very potent. I think they got about 10 white liquors in them, like a Long Island iced tea. Exactly. So anyway, so we're drinking and we're drinking and we're getting hammered. And the captain is like, you guys, I do this for all the new recruits in. I take them to the, I forget the name of the place, Lafitte, Lafitte, Lafitte, Lafitte's blacksmith shop? I don't know if that was it, but it was something, the Lafitte, whatever.

Anyway, it was the oldest whorehouse in New Orleans that was now a massage parlor. Oh, nice. Beautiful, lovely massage parlor. Yeah, yeah. Because, you know, the thing is, is when you're going to a bordello, you want to to go to an old one. Or I was going to say, or one under just under new management. Yes.

Yes. Exactly. So, anyway, go ahead. So you go to a massage parlor. Yes. But it's in the old, it's in like one of these old, you know, New Orleans buildings, the iron balconies. And there's a, there's a 20 girls in the, you know, in the main room. And you get to pick one and go up to this, you know, to the room.

So I'm in the room. the girl tells me to take off all my clothes. I take off all my clothes, but what I did is I had a pleather jacket. Remember pleather? Sure. That's familiar. Vegan leather, they call it now. Yeah.

Vegan leather. So I took my vegan leather jacket off and I threw it on a space frame heater. Oh, boy. So I got on the massage table. She goes to get some lotion or oils or whatever. Yeah. So I'm laying there and I'm kind of kind of just looking around. just all naked and all excited.

And I see the room slowly filling up with smoke. And I think this is like, you know, this is like 7980. I thought it was like a disco thing. They're piping in a little, you know, smoke. Right, a little atmosphere to make it, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So the red lights in the room and then the smoke is.

So that's going on for a minute. So and the girl comes in and she screams. She goes, what the fuck are you doing? I look around in the whole room is fucking on fire. Oh, boy. The fucking dream. This same exact thing happened to me, but I was in Cape Cod. Did it really?

No, okay. All right, so you had your face down on the table so you didn't know that there were flames? No, I had, you know, I had my head down on the nice table and it was all happening behind me. So I'm just like looking out the window towards you. You know, Bourbon Street, you know, enjoying the site. I like to picture you with your chin on your, on your fist and, like, kicking your legs. La, la, la. Exactly.

And I'm going, oh, boy. And I've never, of course, I've never, I'm 18. I never had a massage. I don't think I've ever been touched with a woman, you know, a real woman. That means he fucked robots. Oh, yeah. All the time. I have all of the one of your teen, yeah, in those days.

Sure. So, uh, so what happens? Oh, so she runs out three. screaming and I get up and I'm like, oh shit, oh, and I look at my coat. I look at my clothes and they're all on fucking fire. Oh boy. I kind of put it together like, oh shit, I did this. Oh, fuck.

And I'm like, oh, fuck, I had no clothes. I disagree. That's on her. She knows the space heater's there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it would be thing, yeah, especially. By the first time it happened. When a pleather wearer walks in, you got to, you got to let them know.

Pleather is dangerous. Don't blame yourself, six. Also, six, I have a question. Your name is on the monitor spelled C-I-X. Is that how you spell it? That's the hippie parents. You spell it C-I-X? Well, my parents tried to do S-I-X, but the hospital was a Catholic hospital, and they said, oh, no, oh, no, you're not going to name him S-I-X.

Right. You name him C-I-A. Oh, right, because probably because it's saying. Oh, because of the devil? Yeah, they need you. Number six. Yeah. It's a number of the beast.

Wow. You were just robbed of your middle career. Yeah. But now you're six from Cape Cod, which is all C's. Yeah, yeah, that's nice. C C C. And right above it, it says Current Culler, which is both C's. Oh, wow, current caller, six from Cape Cod. Awesome. That's five Cs.

And there's probably some guy in Instagram that would freak out about that, the numerologist dudes. So wait, so what do you do? Do you grab your clothes? Do you wrap a sheet around you? Well, my clothes were melted pretty much. My clothes were all in a kind of bonfire type thing. Okay. So I grabbed the sheet from the wherever and wrapped it around myself and ran out.

But I realized all my fucking buddies are up in these rooms also. My captain, a couple guys from my boat, some other dudes we met. I'm like, oh, fuck. No one that knows this place is on fire but me. So I ran back up, fucking broke down every fucking door, kicked down the doors, yelling, fire, fire, fire. Everyone's in fucking half naked getting blowjob, getting stee. You know, doing it. Oh, well.

It was massage plus. Yeah. I was getting to fuck out. So about, I think about six or seven doors I kicked down and got everybody out. And then we all ran out to the streets, about 20, 30 of us, half naked, naked, draped with sheets and such. And then the New Orleans Fire Department, awesome dudes came and, you know, hose down the place. Wow. Let's talk consequences.

Yeah. Yeah, that was, yeah. And everyone, like, no one knew it was me. And I didn't tell any. This is the first time I've ever told this story, actually. Wow. Wow. Statue of limitations, as I'm guessing.

Did you, was the fire beyond a point where you could, yeah, seven years for that. Seven years for burning down a rubbing tug place? That's it. And then you're in the clear past seven years. I feel so. I feel stupid for asking. Yeah. I mean, it's all right.

You're not a lawyer. The work part is as I am. Did you ever consider attempting to put out the fire yourself? Yeah, like maybe swinging that big old dig around. Yes. You were obviously backed up. There was fluid available. Yeah, no, it was a little too out of my wheelhouse.

Oh, it was big enough that it just didn't seem possible? No, it was, it was like in one of those, you know, It seems like one of those, you know, movies where the whole, you know, you look at the whole, the room. Like backdraft. Wow. Backdraft, exactly. Wow. It was a backdraft situation.

Wow. They'll get you every time. Did they at least save the historical building or did your plether jacket ruin a historical landmark? I'm sorry to say that the structure did not make it. Oh, my God. I don't totally bring down the fucking ground. You burnt, you're admitting to the internet that you burnt a hooker's house to the ground. And I don't think they live there.

It's a rub and tub. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a, yeah, no, they might live there. They might be, you know, there might have been some, you know, human trafficking going on, which is hilarious. Yeah, and just, you know, 137 on a Wednesday. Good time to admit it. I get it. Well, six, I'm glad you made it out.

Yeah, thank goodness. Yeah, yeah. I'm not so happy about you ruining the lives and, like, the livelihoods of a bunch of people, probably renters. A bunch of sex workers. Right, right. And also that, that, you know, that ironwork. Yeah.

Oh, that ironwork alone. crashed into the streets. Hmm. All right. Yeah. Well, thank you for calling. And thank you for your service for guarding our coasts. Hey, you know what they say?

Coast Guard's got the best dope. Do they? Oh, fuck, yeah, dude. Who do you think takes them off the boats? Oh, wow, never considered that. I did not know where, and now, I didn't, I wasn't on board with you, and now I am six. Way to go. All right, six.

I think of a super day. Yeah, Viya Pendios. All right. Wow. Burnt down a building. I don't know if that's true. That is not a prerequisite for this shit. Oh, great.

Oh, thank great. It's not at all. If I did that. I'm calling in next week. I'm going to say some crazy shit. When I got an alumni award from Columbia College, Chicago, which I now have mentioned twice. And I said to them, well, I'm not, because I didn't graduate. I said, I'm technically not an alumni.

And they said, if that were a requirement, we wouldn't give out any awards. So this is like that. You don't need to be truthful when you call in here. I like that. 855-266-2. 2604, Andy Richter College show. Love saying my own name. Bobby Moynihan's here.

Angela, hit us with your drunken youth. Hello there. Hi. First of all, mine is a little much more wholesome. Oh, thank goodness, Angela. Well, bye. First of all, hi, Angela. I can't buy in that golden book, by the way,

because I have never missed a live episode of S&L in 50 years. Oh, wow. Same. You know freak. Wow. Yeah. Met you in 2001, Bobby, and I'm like, I'm not worthy. I'm not worthy.

Good to talk to you. Exactly. You know. Oh, hello. So a little background. How's Frank? You have to know that I'm a cashew. A what?

How's Frank? I was just joking. I'm a cashew or a human? I'm a cashew. My dad was Catholic. My mom was Jewish. Okay. I did not know that that was a thing.

And your one woman show starts? You know? Yeah, truthfully. I wish. Anyway, so it does factor into the story. So, you know, alcohol was given in my house because my dad thought, you know, Italian people, if it's sweet wine or if it's towaka, I started drinking at about seven. Not all the time, but I would be included in the drinks. Just a little sick.

So this is just a little sick. That's good for you. Much more. But, yeah, nice and warming and, you know. Yeah, yeah. So it was 1976 Thanksgiving. My Jewish mother, who sounded like this. Anyway, prepared for days.

Like she was so ridiculous with holidays, preparing the turkey and doing all this stuff. And you must know my dad was an everyday alcoholic. My mom was a periodic. And if you know periodic, they're fucking crazy. Yeah, yeah. You know, they drink once every couple and make up for lost time. Right, right. And I hated it.

So I guess this Thanksgiving, my mom woke up and got her CCM water going. And my dad's solution for that was, I was. 11. He said, I will go anchor liquor and I will buy you any alcohol of your choice and you can get drunk with us today. And being a good half-Jewish girl, I asked for a bottle of Manashevich. Sure. Smart. Right, right. Because I knew how delicious. God's booze is what they call it. God's booze. Kids alcohol. Yeah, yeah.

Exactly. I sold a lot of it as a child. Almost Kool-Aid, yeah. I literally did sell it to adults. Yeah, yeah. As a child. Yes, but it was religious. It was Jewish. Sure, sure. I was Catholic at that time. Anyway, so I drank probably half the bottle and passed out. Oh.

And I came to, and the turkey was burning. Everyone in my house was passed out. Was this at a massage parlor? I'm like, well, I'm going to get my... No. No. I was in Carson, California. Okay.

You know, a place we got evicted from. Anywho, I pulled out, I'm like, well, I'm going to have Thanksgiving. You know, F these drunk asses. And I'm probably still very drunk. I could barely heft the big turkey out of the oven, but I, you know, got it up on the counter, managed. Hacked it up with a steak knife because I didn't know how to carve anything. No, of course. They don't teach you that at seven.

I'm an only child. I started to fill lonely. So I got my little dog Dolly, and I tied her in the laundry cart because I knew she'd run away. And I spoon fed her, and we had Thanksgiving together. And then I rocked her, and she threw up. And that was like my magical Thanksgiving. Now, when you say everyone was, where they were all passed out, were they passed out from drinking or like, was the turkey giving off personal, poisonous fumes? No, they were all drunk off their asses.

And that's hard drinking, you know, when you pass out. Yeah, yeah. Day drinking on Thanksgiving is just great. Day drinking. It is. Especially just. Purple, thick, match, shevets. Right, right.

Yeah, it is. It's so sweet. It's just great. It's just great juice with dirt and alcohol in it. You should put it on pancakes. Yeah. All right, Angela. Well, I hope that your thanksgivings are now better.

Yeah, you do a fantastic impression of your mom. You could have been on us and now, I believe in you. Dude. Don't even. I'm 60. Angela. I should be the first lady on there. Yeah, come on, go for it.

I would imagine if they had a 60. I would be so psyched. If they had a 60-year-old right now? Yeah, yeah. bring it too. Leslie Jones was 50. I'd show it all. Oh, yeah, Leslie was.

Yeah, she was pretty old when she started doing it. All right, Angela. Just go down to NBC with a sign and say, Bobby Moynihan said it. Bobby Moynihan said, I can get it. Bobby Moynihan. Come on, Lauren. I'm sure they'll walk you right up. Come on, Golden Books.

Let me in. Golden Book. Yeah. All right, thank you for the call, Angela. It was an honor being talking to you today. You have a great one. I love you. Thanks so much.

It was good to talk to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, hope the sciotic is better. I'll see you again in 20 years. Yep. Brian. You who, Brian. Brian from New York. Yeah, that's right.

This is him. That's a, I hope you're from New York because that's a weird last name. That is, well, no, I am from New Jersey originally. Ah, that's okay. Many years ago, yes. My story doesn't involve setting anything on fire. I have everyone know. Listen, that guy said a high.

bar we cannot six set a high bar we cannot expect all to have burned down a rub and tug we just can't it's tough I don't think I could top for that yeah yeah we did which by the wait hold that one second Brian I did I just have to I'm just remembering Sona Muff Sessian Coden's assistant sona she had twins and I when I found it she had twins twin boys I did suggest that she named them rub and tug she didn't not, though. No, she didn't. She did not. She did not. I thought that would be such a good. Get in here. Both boys? Yeah, yeah, both boys.

Yeah, they have me. Rub and tug, yeah, sure. Anyway, Brian, go ahead. You didn't burn anything down. He's like, you ruined my story. Oh, I'm sorry. He's like, that was it. No. That was it. That's it. That's my entire story. We had a bunch of kids when we were about 12 years old, 10 to 20 of us, found a clubhouse. And we went in and we would. What does that mean? Like an abandoned building, a borough left behind by a badger? We thought it was abandoned.

Oh, okay. It was actually a building that was for lease. We more or less did breaking and entering rather than squatting. Right, right. So we basically broke in and turned in the Lord of the Flies for a few months until the police came along and broke it up. Wait, like you lived there? Or like you just hung out, like, went back every day with your buddies and, like, decorated.

Yes. Oh, we did that, too, all the time. Drinking and, yes, drinking and just basically grabbing ass and smoking pot and getting drunk and starting fight. Wow. So did any tragedies happen, or was just pretty much that? Well, no, no, there was an arrest, at least arrested three or four of us. It was a big old bust. Wow.

Just for just for being there? Did you destroy any of the property or anything? We destroyed, yes. We destroyed the place, yeah. Yeah. Wow. That sort of thing, yeah. That happens, Brian.

Yeah, see, when I was a kid, I, I, we, when my mom got remarried, we moved to, like, a new subdivision. And there were, so there was, like, old, there were construction sites, new houses, like, ranch houses being built all around. and there was one directly across the street from our house and my brother and I and a couple of friends were over there and I was probably eight or nine, nine, ten maybe like that and it was a rainy day and we were having a mud ball fight

inside the foundation of it like in the basement of it but like the ground was still muddy and so we're having a mud ball fight and just huge splotch of mud all over the cement walls of what was going to be the basis that they had just made that just poured it probably hadn't cured and and and and I don't know there I can't remember it was me or my brother were writing each shit on the wall in the mud because we had so much mud on our hands that were like wiping it off and making handprints I think it was me I'm not sure

but as the eye was being written in each shit we heard get the fuck out of here you kids and it was just like some constructiony guy probably the guy that was building the building and we all get out like and it's like there's no you have to we have to go directly across the street to our home like there's no there's no thought to like let's walk around the block so he doesn't know where we live

but oh I used to we used to climb the roof we used to like we threw a ball up on the roof across I lived in New York and across the street from us was the town hall and we would climb on the roof of the jail like we didn't know idiots on roller blades

like rollerblades like rollerblading around up the fuck are we doing this is the jail what 12 year old knows about breaking the end of my story is that months and months later no this family moves in and we're kind of befriend like kids befriend the kids we go down

in their basement and each shit is on the wall still they've painted the wall And the kids like, yeah, we painted the wall like four times, but it keeps seeping back through. And all the muddy handprints and everything were still visible. That's the greatest. Yeah, yeah. Anyhow.

All right, well, Brian, you got anything else for us? No, that's it. All right. Well, thank you. Thank you. And more or no less, Brian. And stay out of houses of your don't belong in. That's my best rule of general.

Generally, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Wait to be invited. Think of yourself as a vampire. Next up on the Andy Richard Collin's show, 855-266-2-604. We're talking drunken youth. We got Sean from Maine. Maine seems like a place where everybody's drunk all the time.

Is that true? You're not wrong. Yeah, you're not wrong. The colder it gets, the drunker they get. Yeah, yeah. There's trees and alcohol. That's pretty much all we have. And snow.

Yeah. So I have a story for you about the time. got banned from radio in Portland, Maine. Oh, nice. Five years ago. Nice. Just all radio? I stopped.

There was one station that explicitly banned me, and I stopped getting invites from the other ones. Invites? What the fuck is going on up there? I was a stand-up comic back then. Oh, okay. And, yeah, I mean, this was during the comedy boom of the late 80s, early 90s, when, like, you had to be a comic by law.

Right. Right. The Maine was just lousy with them. Oddly, it was. everybody bar had a comedy night. Wow. At that point, it was nuts. And I was promoting a weekend show with George Hamm and Bob Marley, no relation. Yeah. And we just did a radio appearance on the three mornings leading up to the show, and mine was last. And the night before, we did a show together and all the comics went back to my place and had a couple drinks and a couple more. And my radio

spot was at like 6 a.m. or something stupid like that. And we decided we'd just stay up all night. Sure. the radio station together in the morning, you know, they can go with me on while I'm doing my interview. And I'm still a little buzz on the way there. And Marley starts poking at me, trying to get me to cause trouble on the air to drum up, you know, attention for the show. And he's like, dude, just mess with him. It'll be funny. Yeah.

And that's like, classic Bob Marley. So as stir it up? If you may? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we had a light dusting of snow that morning.

Okay. So as soon as the DJs introduced me, lean on the mic and go. is the school in Auburn, Augusta, Bangor, Bath, Biddeford, Camden, no school in Gorham, Greg Hollis. And the DJs are freaking the fuck out. I just freaked out. I just felt like school got canceled. Yeah, and I'm just yelling over them. Turn off your radios and go back to bed. There's no school for anyone. And that was my final appearance on WMGX in Portland, Maine.

Oh, that seems, you know, pretty uptight. I know. I was just trying to give people a day off. Yeah, right. If I was a parent, I would have murdered you. if I was a parent to it like and like you ruined my day I would have I would have yeah yeah

I would have set out every morning to ruin your death there's nothing funny about school cancellations now I got to take care of this little fucker that being said I grew up on like morning

like I grew up with Stern like you know what I mean I love talk radio in general So I do love the idea of actually getting on radio and telling everybody. If I wasn't a parent right now, I would give you an award. A radio award. No, honestly, that seems like so silly.

It just seems like, you know, it's just like one of those things it's like, you know, I mean, have a little fun with it. The kids are going to be happy. It does feel like every radio executive is Paul Giamati in Howard Giamondi. in Howard's study. It's like, real, but you're always making that sound. Right, right.

No, and it's the early... That's what I was thinking. It's the very good... It's not think it was funny. Yeah, it's the very beginning of like you are in charge of experience with like person in charge

of creative people and in radio, creative is in air quotes. But in charge of creative people who is absolutely sure that they're right about everything. Correct. And that they know,

like they know no no you can't do that you're wrong when the point is like oh absolutely you you absolutely can there's nothing really stopping besides you so all right um well thank you Sean I'm sorry I hope that that that wasn't what pulled the rug out from under your stand-up career yeah I hope that you return to radio and stand-up no I grew up on comedy and switched over to writing video games and comics and that worked up nice good good yeah that's that's that's you Yeah, that's something worthwhile. Yeah. All right.

Great talking to girls. Love you, Sean. Is that true? Do we have technical difficulties? Oh, well, we can't get callers right now. Well, that's probably the worst thing you could hear for a show that's based on callers, I'm guessing. I know, but you know what? The thing about me is I don't give a fuck about nothing.

I mean, you know. The best part is my heart rate has not raised, lowered. It is the same as it was before we found this out. That's because we've earned that. We sure have. We sure have. You grew up in Chicago, you said earlier? Outside of Chicago.

I meant to say, like, so you probably, did you, like, know Tina and all them, like, or? They're a little bit younger than me. And, like, I knew, I knew Matt Bess or, we're talking. Upright Citizens Brigade people. Like who was the people you were hanging? Or like in coming up, yeah, coming up through comedy. It was people like David Kekner. Wow.

Brian McCann. Do you know Brian McCann? Brian Stack. Yeah, Jody Lennon. There was also like Melanie Hutzel and Elizabeth Cahill, Beth Cahill. They were on SNL for a year. I just saw the couple of years. Yeah, Melanie was at there.

So yeah, there were still, there was a lot of people. that you know it's just crazy i love hearing that i love the idea of of everybody like that hearing what schools kind of came like did you know sedake i didn't say to know sedacus i he's younger yeah because like for me i um i i was in a show one of the theaters in uh chicago that i worked at uh we did a show called the real live brady bunch that's right it went to new york and then it went to l a so i was out of chicago and like melanie hutzel was in that she was she was she was she was she was She was Jan. She was real, and that was like one of the things I think.

In the movie, too. Right? No. No, no. Nobody from the original show. Yeah. But you were Alice? I was Mike Brady.

Amazing. Yeah, yeah. But I wasn't originally, there was like four or five different mics because it really was like, you put on a wig and you know, you'll be fine. But so I was. I was Sam the Butcher or the dog. Yeah. I was Sam the Butcher in Chicago. I was Sam the Butcher and I was a Bunny Hinton's dad.

Buddy Hinton the Bullies Dad. That was, I think, my first role. But, and then at the end of that, of SNL, or of a SNL, of a Real-L-Bradie bunch, I was in L.A. and I got the movie Cabin Boy. I'd started doing a little bit of jobs here and there. And then I got the job on Conan and went to New York in 93. And during that time, when I was in New York and L.A., that's when Upright Citizens Brigade became something.

Like, I knew McKay. I knew Adam McKay. He was in there originally. But I knew I knew Besser and I knew Matt Walsh very well. Wow. Matt Walsh is, Matt Walsh and I have been, you know, he's the greatest.

Together forever. I mean, as lovers. As sexual partners. Yeah, yeah, as sexual partners. Very unfulfilling sexual partners for both of us. Yeah, yeah, he's not kind sexually. No.

That's well known. But, yeah, then, but so when they. This is good vamping, right? Absolutely. This is what we're doing. But I'm, But I didn't know any, I didn't know like Amy Poehler or Ian Roberts, who were the other two members of, of upright Citizens Brigade until they came to New York. So I knew Amy then.

And then I met Tina, you know, through them at that. So crazy. Yeah, yeah. But it was great. And then when those people started working, like I, when those people started working on SNL and I had, like my first sitcom after Conan, I was really, like, I really wanted Amy to be on it. She's so good. And I talked to her about it and stuff. And then it was kind of like, oh, I'm going to do S&L, I think.

Like they're talking. And I was like, oh, fuck. And I actually tried to get added. I wanted Adam McKay to write on Conan. And he sent a fucking amazing because Adam K. has the biggest comedy brain. I mean, he's okay. He's fine.

Yeah, he and Conan O'Brien probably are the two biggest comedy brains. But that's crazy because I, that's like where I, like my first. jobs were Conan. Oh, really? Kind of, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like my first big job on TV was Conan. Oh, I have a fantastic, true alcohol story involving Conan.

Oh, good. I guess I could tell this. Yeah, why not? I've already begun. I got caught smoking weed on the street. And the cops took me in. Outside near UCB, the cops took. the cops took me in

I'm standing there doing the whole like booking thing I'm handcuffed to a pole Yeah And I mean I don't know what country The person's from makes any difference What do you mean? Oh got you thank you Oh Jesus I got real I was like oh my God

What did I say? I know I got scared that I said something stupid No no no And they said empty your pockets and they handed me A little blue tray Yeah Like you have to empty everything in your pockets They take everything out of in my pockets and at that time it was like a like a probably like a blackberry like an old cell phone

da da da da da da da da all this stuff in my pockets there was a fake mustache and my and when and when my phone like when they put my phone in the um the bin the bin it lit up and like my screen saver was a friend of mine katy dippled who you know katy dippled yeah a friend of mine of katy dippled just with a big black dildo like just like just doing something crazy Right, right, right. And he looked at me, he was like, who fuck is this? And I was like, what? And he's like, you're some kind of comedian, the cop?

And I went, yeah? Because he's holding a fake mustache and like there's a lot of crazy stuff in my pockets. And he goes, oh, you're a comedian? And I went, yeah. He goes, oh, yeah. And I went, I'm going to be on Conan in like 20 minutes. I had shot a Conan the day before. And they turned it on.

Really? I watched it in the New York police station. Did they let you go? No, I just kind of giggled and I got a ticket and I went home. But the general consensus of everyone in the room was like, hey, he wasn't lying. Yeah, yeah. All right. That's good.

I was once walking home in Chicago and I was having to park. I had a Toyota pickup truck that I had to park far away from my apartment because it was in danger of being repossessed. And I was walking back from a show that I had had had had. a costume with so I had like an armful of my cheap shitty clothes and two cops hopped out of their car and came over and said there's been some robberies what do you got there what do you got there and it's like clothes they're my clothes and then I told them I was coming back and it was a it was a Brady bunch and I said yeah I'm coming back to the real Brady bunch and they're like oh what do you fucking Bobby oh boy no no I'm not but whatever I got into a car accident some I hit someone

and my car got totaled and the cop was like your car's totaled just take everything you want and stuff it in the cop car and I opened my trunk and there was a giant cardboard cutout of Angelina Jolie from Tomb Raider but it had Zach Woods's face cut out and put it on it because I was doing a sketch with Zach Woods at the time there was a like an animatronic black Santa Claus like we had just like all these dumb stupid props in the back of my car and I had to stuff them all in the cop car and brought him to my home and he was just like what is happening Yeah, you're the problem, not the crime. All right, well, I guess we got callers back.

We're close to the end here, but we got Graham. Graham, are you there? Yeah, hey, I don't know why I use my real name. Oh, that's all right. It's not Graham. I don't know why you told us. It's not Graham. Let's just call you Cracker.

Smart. Tell us, tell us about your drunken story. Okay, so this is in college. I used to just, I don't know, to be funny, I would, drink way too much and then it's it's hilarious it's often the best thing

it's often really funny and then I would just like crash my buddy's couch and roll over and go to work in the same clothes because it's my first job and I things didn't matter and so there's this one night where I

I didn't black out per se but I guess I browned out or whatever I just don't I don't remember how the night ended that sounds like you shit the bed or something it's funny you mention it It's funny you mention it. I did shit everywhere. Are you psychic?

I'm late for work. I'm wearing the same clothes. So I'm like, oh God, I got to go. I run to work. And I'm like, I lived in New York at the time. So I'm like sprinting. And I make it just barely. And no one cares because it's just an office and it doesn't matter.

And I was like, awesome. I'm killing it. I'm functioning. And then I smell awful. And I don't know what happened. And so I text my buddy and I'm like, hey, what happened to the end of the night? And he said, oh, you thought it would be really funny if you stood up and, like, soiled yourself in front of all of us? It probably was hilarious.

Yeah, probably at the time, I bet it was a fucking killer bit. I got a buddy named Stank Dros from college who shoot his pants for five bucks and we still call him Stank Dras. He was the best man in my wedding. I love him with all my heart. I love his steak draws. He's going to die. So you shit your pants and you still had the shit in your pants and you could not tell that you had shit in your pants? I had no clue

I think it was mostly a ghost poop situation It was like a little bit A ghost poop That's still poop When you wipe them there's nothing Yeah well I I think that whole thing is called

A cry for help Graham When you shit your pants and you're unaware That's when it's either Would you not use my name when you say shit your pants Right I'm sorry I was gonna say can we have your last name and phone number please Well so what did you do Do you go to the bathroom and wash out your drawers?

Yes, yes. Yeah. Yeah, and I threw the underwear away. Of course. I mean, why wouldn't one? And then I cleaned myself. Yes, Mark. And then I just went to work and, you know, it was an imaginary job.

Were you at work when you figured out? Yes, yes. I was already well into my day. Wow. And you said you just sent emails? Yeah, it was like a, what do you call it? it was well i don't want to say what the job was i suppose i worked in it was it had to do with books it was something about books and uh i just sat around and i read books uh oh you're

graham from barns and noble aren't you oh barns and noble graham oh you're the one who shit his pants and nobody at work caught on nobody went by and went you know no truly no said a word. Honestly, you could take a shit right next to me. I wouldn't realize it if that was at work. Oh. I wouldn't care. And I wouldn't even mind.

That's good to know. You should put that on the resume. I do. And casting sessions, let them know. By the way. I always say, hey, everybody, Bobby Moynihan, 5-8, 356,000 pounds. I don't mind if you shit next to it. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, by the way, this nose, kid knows nothing. Smelled anything. This nose hasn't worked in years. Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Shit, you're going to be shitting right now. Okay. All right, Graham.

Thank you for the call. Thanks, guys. Appreciate it. All right. If that's your real name. No, Graham. All right. We got time for one more.

Skip? Hello, Skip. Yes. How are you? Oh, my gosh. It's such an honor. Oh, thank you. So good.

Thank you, Skip. Two things. You and Ricky Bobby, hilarious. Bobby, you with drunk uncle. I yell immigrants all the time. Oh, no, don't. Yeah, I think you certainly missed the point. Maybe don't.

You miss the point of the sketch. All the family members, they're from Texas, so it's funny as hell. Oh, I like the character. I like what he says. Yeah, yeah. I don't get him. I like his ideas. When somebody says something, they mean what they mean.

Let me get into my story. Okay, go ahead. Jesus, sorry. Yeah, yeah. Federal correctional officer. I'm a retired federal correctional officer. I'm retired federal correctional officer. I will live in San Diego.

I work in the prison downtown. Okay. And I'm a season ticket holder for the Padres. And if you guys ever been in San Diego. go, we have a great ballpark. Well, there was a Wednesday. My partner, it was his birthday. I said, let's go to the game day. It's 1 o'clock. I called it. I left work early, like two hours early because I was about to retire anyway. Right. I had not eaten the night before. I didn't eat that morning. I said, you know what? I want to get a good buzz on. Um, season ticket holders get, um,

$5 cut water drinks. If you guys know what those are. I do. Those are strong. Two hours before the game. They're canned cocktails for those who don't know. Right. I had four of the 13 percenters. as soon as I got there. Oh, boy. And then somebody like my Padres-inspired vans, and I did like two shots at tequila. I was like, okay, now I've got to get food. That's 52%.

Are you still, wait, are you still in your uniform? Have you changed? Oh, God. Oh, God, no. I came. I got my Padres gear on. Okay, good, good, good. Okay, yeah, because I was thinking, like,

you still had the mace and the, you know, the nightstick and whatever. No, no, no, no, no. So I worked for a lobby at the time anyway. So I dealt was with attorneys and family members. Nice. Anyway, still with some mace. I'm all ready to go. I'm feeling good.

I'm going to get food in me. Right, right. I got to get food in me. So I go get a cup of barrio dogs. I corked those down. I go to my seat. I'm at the field level. The warden, I was friends with the warden.

He was, hey, we got, the HR manager. He goes, hey, we got box seats. Come over to us. I go, yeah, I'll be there a little minute. Let me wait for my buddy, our buddy, my partner. It was his birthday. So I'm like, I'm going for him. He decided to wait until two o'clock to get off.

But the game was at 1 o'clock. I'm like, you're crazy. Let's just go. Anyway, I'm in my seat. I'm not feeling so hot. I go, I got to go to the bathroom. I go to the bathroom. It's like, I don't know, 10, 15 yards to my seat.

And I hork everything out for a good 20 minutes. I like that hort means intake and output. You horked the hot dogs down. You hork them back out. That's nice. It was like the exorcist. And I felt, now, by the way, I'm 49 years old. I never get this shitty.

Yeah, yeah. I know my. limits. Right. And so, but the thing was, I didn't eat. I could do this normally, but I didn't eat before. Right. Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, it's a common sense there. If Skip, don't eat a few seconds. Skip don't work. Yeah. Right. Right. So I sit down and I go, okay, so I cover my face for a second. I check my text and my buddy's like, hey, I'm at the seat. I go, hey, bro, I'm not feeling well. I had something bad. I went home. I'm in the bathroom. I'm like, there's no way. So I go, I just need to feel a couple of minutes. And I close my eyes and then all of a sudden,

It's like in the movies. Like you see, the one eye pops open and like starts looking around like Marty Feldman, right? You're like, what the hell? Are you in the bathroom stall? Why is there no noise? Yes. Like, like, like, laying over the, like, do you have like a, are you over the bowl or are you sitting on the toilet? I evacuated everything and I sat on the toilet.

Okay, okay. I just need a minute. Yep, yeah. So I, I have the one eye open, like Mike said, Marty Feldman from Young Frankenstein. Yeah. I'm all over, like, what the hell? Why is it dark in here? I'm still drunk, but I'm coherent.

And I'm not feeling sick anymore. I go, I look around, it's pitch black. I walk out to an empty fucking stadium. Wow. The businesses are shuttered. It was like the walking dead. Wow. I was like, Rick, coming out of the hospital, like, what the hell?

And I just, I'm sure guys find me. I go, hey, where are you going to go? I'm at the exit over here. He goes, yeah, you've got to go this. way. I'm like, oh, shit, that means I got to walk all the way around the other side, around the stadium, right? Well, luckily I had found parking, and I knew I wasn't going to drive because I was still no state to drive. I don't, I don't play with that. And I'm walking around the scene. This is how late we were. Skippy don't play that.

I walk out past, right? I don't. Tour buses and the Cincinnati Reds are getting on their bus as I'm walking around. That's how long. I get to my car and I'm like, screw this. I call on the backseat. I love my Lexus. That was my retirement gift to myself. And I passed the fuck out for another five hours. Wow. Well, Chris Cibo from the Cincinnati Reds,

took a shit on his car. Ellie Delacruz, screw you. I was like, I was out. I was out. And I'm like, and then I came clean with the ward in the next day. I was like, dude, I was hammered. I was in a bathroom. I told my friend, and they, like, you're

kidding. I go, no, dude, I was right next to the whole. time practically. You probably pissed right next to me. I was like, I'm not drink, and I swear the rest of the season, 25 more games, I did not drink at one game. This is the perfect plot for Home Alone 5. Right, exactly. If some robbers are robbing the stadium as well.

Home run alone. I love you with all my heart. Yeah. Yeah, that's, well, you would, you've given all the San Diego callers cart blanche to go hide in a bathroom stall because they know that that's the way to. They won't check. They won't check. Wow. Go right ahead. All right. Well, Skip, thanks for the call. And thanks for not driving drunk, buddy.

Yeah. Thank you, you guys. You guys keep on rocking. All right. Well, that's it for us. We usually forever. We figure out our favorite call at the end. And I think it's going to be hard to beat down burn down a massage parlor. That's as far as like drunken stupidity. it so bad. I want to beat it so

bad, but I don't think they can. What else do you want? I mean... I'm just going to say Angela from low, I almost said Angela from Turkey. Right. Angela, who was, she was a turkey and she called from... No, Angela was, I love her. Yeah, yeah. She was my favorite. I love you.

All right. I love you. I love you. I don't, maybe not the best call. I just wanted to say, I love you, Angela. That new favorite could mean whatever you want. I'm going to give it to Angela. She's a woman. She deserves it. Once again, nothing matters. Nothing at all matters. Nothing matters ever. Then let's give it to everybody but skip.

No, I'm just kidding. All right. Well, Bobby, is you got anything you want to plug besides movies that aren't coming out? Sure. Yeah, why not? I got a podcast called Who Me with the Batman on CBB Presents on CBBWorld.com. I got a children's book called Not All Sheep or Boring.

You can get it on a computer. Oh. I'm on the show NCIS Origins. Ooh. Playing Dr. Woodrow Brown. As a regular? I mean, what else? Like, as like a weirdo?

No, no, just kidding. Yes, I am recurring. Nice. Yes. Sweet. So is my wife. My wife's on it now, too. Oh, wow.

The incomparable. Well, you've got fucking information on people over there, don't you? Yeah, she's the best. Yeah, I do. Yeah, yeah. Blackmail. Regular Jeffrey Epstein. Tell everyone.

Well, Bobby, thank you so much. This is really fun. I really appreciate it. It was really great. And thank all of you for listening. We'll be back next week with Joe Mandy, who won't be nearly as funny as Bobby. He will burn down a massage parlor. Yeah, yeah.

He might burn down a massage parlor. And stick around right now for stand-up on Conan with Lori Kilmartin. See you next week. Thank you very much all. Bye. Bye. We love you.