The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Busy Philipps

Episode Date: October 6, 2020

Busy Philipps joins Andy Richter to talk about sharing the difficult parts of her memoir with her family, abortion advocacy, and leaning into the pivot with her podcast Busy Philipps is Doing Her Best.

Hello, everyone. You are tuned into the three questions with Andy Richter, and it's not just Andy Richter. It's Busy Phillips. She's here with me. Hi. How are you? I'm good. I see you're in your closet we were talking about a minute ago yeah yeah i like it i love it i think it's great i am behind i'm in front of a boring venetian blind oh right plantation shutters i guess they're called i don't think we still call them that yeah it does seem like to have a connotation but i don't want to have that connotation let's just call them let's just call them white shutters tropical shutters tropical shutters yeah yeah they're tropical because they're tropical yeah i that's what i had in my bedroom growing up or those exact shutters in arizona

yeah it has actually it's a little strange for me to look at them right now. I'm not even kidding. Like it reminds you of your bedroom? Yeah, yeah. It's very evocative. It was like the thing that came with the house, I guess, were those shutters. Yeah. And houses in Arizona all had those shutters. Yes.

Now, you're from Arizona. Correct. You're a desert. Yeah, I was born in chicago outside chicago and oh right i knew that and you have you have a bunch of family there still yeah yeah and then we moved to um arizona for my dad's job when i was going into first grade so what job was that what what is what did he's a nuclear engineer he's retired now yeah yeah was he working at like a nuclear power plant or was yeah power plant oh wow cool he did like safety something i don't know i always thought he was in the cia kind of

like yeah i don't understand he so he worked in arizona for years he was a consultant and he worked and he got he got you know stationed no, stationed. No, not stationed. Transferred to Arizona to the, to the power plant there. And then there were several years, like in my late, late preteens, early teens, I guess, that he had to take jobs in other cities. And so he was like, he commuted. So he lived in like Salt Lake City and came back on the weekends. He lived in, I feel like he lived in Kansas at one point. He lived in Michigan.

He lived in Florida. And he lived in Singapore, I think. Wow. And he didn't come home every weekend when he lived in Singapore. Was that hard to have him kind of absent or was it okay? I think it was fine. I mean, i think it was fine i mean i think it was fine my sister was already out of the house she's older than me and it so it was just like me and my mom and i had a lot of freedom which maybe wasn't the best thing and i do think that

like re-entry was always difficult because i was this surly bitchy teenager and like my dad would be gone the week for the whole week and then he would come back like on a friday and be like well wait where is she going barbara what time is what time are you going to be home and i'm like you don't you can't tell me what to do you're not here yeah um and i think he was like tired you know like he was really grumpy because he was tired because he was like yeah working so hard it's like one of those things i was saying to a friend of mine who's uh i don't have that many friends in their 20s but i do have a couple it would be weird if you did i agree but there are people that like make it you know they like hang out with people that are way younger

than them they're vampires is what that's true they're blood suckers that's true that's actually very true i think um but the girl that lives in my guest house she's more like my little sister kind of you know and she's 25 you're kato kalen she's my she well sort of i mean she's i think it's better than that but i know but i mean it's just you should really you should get her to start doing that you know you know sam oh yeah yeah yeah he lived in my guest house for like nine years. Oh, wow. Yeah, that is your Kato Kaelin.

He was my Kato Kaelin. We were going to like sell a television show based on our relationship of him living in our guest house. Because it was like for a few years, it was pretty wild. Yeah. And then he calmed down. But so the girl that lives in my guest house now is a singer songwriter and she's 25 and i was saying i really feel like in your 20s in therapy it's like all about how your parents like fucked you up and then you're starting in your late 20s and then

your early 30s it's all about you coming to the understanding that they were doing the best they could with what they had and then like you come to this understanding at the older you get about just how you know how we all are trying our hardest and yeah and they all you know and parents have their own limitations and their own things that they're dealing with and like it never occurred to me like oh wait maybe maybe this is exhausting for my father maybe the easier thing would have been to uproot me and like move us all to salt lake city for two years move us all you know but instead of uprooting our lives he like let us stay in one place and he sacrificed by like

flying back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and maybe he was like not the chillest dude because he was just fucking tired yeah yeah well and i think too it's like it is it's easy to be a crabby dad it's really easy to be like you know dad like the grumpy dad is is an archetype for a reason because you fall you know it's the same way like you know the mom yeah the naggy mom that's always on you to keep the house clean. It's like I get, you know, I can be a naggy mom and a grumpy dad, you know? Yeah, I'm definitely both, you know, I'm all of it. And I try not to be a grumpy dad.

And I actually get and it's one of the nicest things that my daughter does to me is she will say to me like like you're not as bad as you used to be like and i'm like all right okay that's good because that's you know like when you say you cut your parents some slack because they were doing the best that they could yeah that's true and yeah you do go through that but then you kind of because i'm older than you you get through that too and you're kind of like yeah but they didn't really like fight that hard ultimately like they kind of gave up they're like well i got all these like like yeah there's all this stuff that life has forced on me and it's created these personality traits and these kind of you know problematic ways of dealing with things and ah fuck it that's how i am you know like the

crust is formed and i can't change i'm so interested in like generational things like i think that that's very of our parents generation because even though you are a bit older than i am andy i think our parents are like probably around the same generation um because my parents are were born in 43 yeah that's my mom was 40 and my dad i think was 37 so yeah close enough like really close yeah that's really close so they're like boomers but like almost your mom's like a late boomer right when does baby boomers end no i think she's a she's an early boomer because she was she was born before the war yeah before oh wait wait that's

right my parents too wait that's right that was that's what I was trying to say. My parents aren't technically boomers, I guess. But they kind of fall into it. You know what I mean? Yeah. But they are. They totally are. 1943.

Yeah. To 1960. So your parents are like a little bit older than technically baby boomers. And my parents are a little bit older than technically baby boomers and my parents are a little bit older they're like the very oldest of the boomers yeah yeah but it's also fascinating and then like gen x and all of our fucking yeah i love i luckily because i saw somewhere that boomers end at 64 and i was born in 66 i'm like whoo i get to be gen x you know like apparently that makes me gen x yeah wow yeah so you're like the oldest gen x and i'm technically like the youngest gen oh really because i was born in 79 okay yeah and it's over an 80 yeah yeah right or 80 yeah i think so i

think that's you know whatever it'll you know? There's like at a certain point, it all becomes very silly to like, you know, a sign like, oh, millennials are fighting with Generation Z. And half the time, I don't even react to the world and what you become. And I think that like it is specific. It's like birth order, too, is such a thing that like once you start looking at it you're like oh all oldest kids are like this oh wait all the youngest kids are like this yeah that's weird you know and i i don't know there's just something to me that's really comforting in looking to things that give some context to behaviors of an entire people. Well, I also, I think too, that we're, we're wired to look for patterns. Right.

Because it's comforting to us. It's like, it makes it seem like there's, there's a rhyme or reason to this chaos. Yeah. So, you know, it is kind of like, oh yeah, you know, because you can look at it and go, you know, there is a similarity between all the first kids that I know and all the middle kids that I know. Totally. But then you also can do like there's a there's a commonality between all Sagittarius is that I know. You know, I mean, right.

It can go over to things that then you're like, wait a minute. Depending on the month and day I was born, it forms my opinion. Well, is it just you and your sister and your family then? Mm-hmm. So you're the baby. Mm-hmm. The one that gets to act out and doesn't really fear consequences. Ever.

Yeah. Pushes all the envelopes. Was that you? Yeah. Yeah. I definitely was an envelope pusher. And was it tough on your mom yeah i think so yeah we have we had like a very complicated relationship i wrote a lot about it in my book much to my parents loved that part um as did they really or no no they like legit almost i had to change a whole bunch of stuff and i, they were like, basically didn't want to talk to me.

It was terrible. It's hard. It's hard. Yeah. But I gave it to them. Like I am close with them and I gave it to that. I gave the, the chapters to them before it was finalized and before it was like out.

Like I know people that don't let their families or anybody read it until it's like, well, this is what it is. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. And I just wanted to do a different thing because I was nervous. And so I let them read it ahead of time when I was in the editing process still and doing my line edits. And so I took some notes of theirs and then i explained to

them why i was keeping other things in it was really it was a little tricky and then my mom and my mom like had a really hard time and didn't want to read the book didn't want to read it to just like i told her about some some of the things that i wrote about and she just was like i don't think i can handle it i don't want to read it and i was like wow okay it's a cool to center this about yourself but like um but uh you know i would appreciate if you read it and then my dad read it first and then she like texted me your dad read the book and he, he, he really enjoyed it. And I was like, okay. And then she still hadn't read it. And then I just got this text from her like two months later that was like, I read your book. It's a very good book.

And that was it. And I put that as a quote on the back cover of the book. I read your book. It's a very good book. Yeah. It's, you know, I do think like, because, well, Sarah, my ex-wife, she wrote a memoir. And so I kind of witnessed her going through

a very similar sort of situation. And she often would encourage me, like, you should write something like that. You've had so much happen to you, you should. Yeah. And I just don't want to have that issue. I don't want to, like, I just, I'm too, I just, I don't want to, like,

I don't want to have that discussion with my mother or my father, you know? Yeah. I just, and I, and there's part of me that kind of understands it because want to i like i don't want to have that discussion with my mother or my father you know i just and and i and there's part of me that kind of understands it because you know a i i'm having done this for a living this stuff for a living you get used to reading shit about yourself that you don't like right you know like and they don't have any experience with that you know what i mean like nobody in my family has read

reviews about how you know untalented they are like right you know oh that's honestly such a good point yeah it was also like kind of my sister's point to me. And she was like, you chose this. I didn't. Yes. And like, and I don't, I didn't, I don't want this. Like, I don't want this. Yeah. And, you know, I mean, I was like, okay, point taken. However, still.

Yeah. However, I gotta, I gotta. Sorry. Yeah. I signed the contract. I gotta write the book. Yeah. I just feel like, yeah.

I mean, and I did did i did do work to try to make it a little bit better for them which i think i did yeah you know and it was a bummer in a lot of ways to me but whatever it's fine yeah but the book was really well received yeah oh for sure yeah yeah um no i was glad i i was glad i did it i might write another one at some point i just don't know. I just don't know. Yeah. I just don't know. You should write a book though, Andy.

You could write it and then just hold onto it for a while. You mean until everybody dies? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That's what you mean. So that, yeah. I do.

I mean, you know, we, I do think that if my grandmother had still been alive, it probably wouldn't have been able to put the book into the world the way that yeah yeah the way that I did you know but I knew that my mom and I have to say honestly so so yeah so my mom had a really hard time with it and I know that she was really nervous about some of the stuff that I that I talk about in the book in terms of like people she knows like in the world you know and you know because it's like I deal with some like trauma and some tough things and abortion my abortion and all that stuff I will say though she and my dad were in Chicago when I was doing my I did a very truncated book tour and they were in Chicago when I was doing my book tour visiting their

family and friends and so they came to the they came to the auditorium it was like 700 people or something you know and a big Q&A thing and the woman who was interviewing me started and I started to answer and my mom from the front row was like, well, that's not how it happened. And then she basically like got up and like took the mic. And I was I was like horrified, but also like this is my fucking life. And it's been my life my entire life. This exact moment that my mother is demonstrating in this crowd of 700 people. So so so I sort of was like, well, this is it. Like, this is like the perfect

thing here you go here you go mom and take the stage and she did and like i have to say i felt like and it was really fun it was actually really fun like it was weird and fun and i was like you can sit down now what okay and then she'd get back up and then you know i can only i can only imagine how fantastic that was for the audience. like share on a bigger level than you ever have before, A. And then B, you know, at the end of the book tour, the questioning, you know, they open it up to the audience. And there were multiple people, including like some teens, older teen people that were just expressing how much my openness online

or what me sharing my life has meant to them yeah and I think she just kind of saw firsthand as opposed to like just you know some comments on Instagram or whatever like real people who are like I had a really hard time and I you know connected with your Instagram or whatever and it really changed the way I think she in that night like it shifted from her from the book being something she was sort of dreading and kind of upset about to her seeing it as as a positive thing. When I mean, do you think that seeking out that catharsis in like like i have to tell this story and i have to be who i am

um because i think you do it in a way that is very uh just conversational like and there's no there's no artifice like you're not really you you are yourself and there's nothing to hide whereas i do think some people do it, they serve themselves up for content in a way that is like, that is- Well, that's become a thing since- It's not, but it's like, it's not real. It's like they're serving up, they're supposedly there,

and I'm making air quotes, real selves, but it's a bullshit real self. You know, it's- Yeah, but that's also like that, like that cultivating authenticity idea has really become a thing in the last several years. Yeah. And I think that it's just we're in a really tricky time, like in terms of identity and what it means and how you put yourself into the world for public consumption whether you have like 10 followers or 10 million followers and you know i think one thing that i had going in my favor before i took my life to instagram yeah was that i had been varying degrees of famous for 15 years or something like that.

You know, I'd been an actor. Yeah. Like worked in the entertainment space for so long and had been, had kind of like seen it all and was, and had been in so much therapy. And so it was really self-aware and like really i'm just a person that is aware of boundaries and and i think that what gets missing sometimes in that like attempt for authenticity from people is not fully understanding understanding boundaries or why you're doing a thing like why you're sharing a thing or what it means for you to be sharing that thing and where you come from in your own even fucking privilege

you know what i mean like i'm never i'm never without the awareness of me busy phillips like a privileged white lady who's lived a pretty you know privileged life yeah yeah not without got to do a lot of cool stuff and and make good living and yeah so and you know and and yet i struggle you know and yet we have you know and like and i think that i don't know i so i think that that's all part i think that's all part of it i think that like a lot of times in the desire for connection people sort of like skip over the part where they like do the work to figure out why it is that they need the connection. Yeah, I think you're absolutely right. I think that, yeah, I think that they're not.

It's just it's just they are they need. And so they they sort of act in a way that seems to service that need but it usually it for people that are doing it in an unexamined way i think just creates more need yeah and confusion and it's like confused it's confusing it's confusing for everybody so it's like when you see the like influencer you know like i i don't know you know there was a lot during i think early pandemic and you know people who were just very unaware of like the fact that like taking off for the hamptons in the middle of the pandemic and posting about it online might not be the greatest way to ingratiate yourself to your

all of your fans who are like struggling to figure out if they still have a job yeah like how are they gonna you know you know what i mean like i think there's a certain level where people lose sight of what everyone else is going through yeah and like i i don't know you don't come you don't come from money right no no yeah me neither i mean not you know we were fine yeah we were fine and and and lived a good life and like some christmases were better than others but no i had to i had to pay my way through school and i had to i had to work so I had money in my pocket yeah I had a job from when I was like 16 years old yeah um I worked in restaurants I babysat I was a nanny like I did all kinds of things and then yeah I was lucky to like get freaks and geeks when I was in college

and I left school but you know I you know I truly you, my parents never helped me past the age of 19. My parents did pay. They did. They did pay for my school. I paid for my car insurance and like my any. Anyway, my point being that I think sometimes I mean, I am. This is like beyond my wildest dreams, like this closet that I'm sitting in and, you know, whatever. like beyond my wildest dreams like this closet that i'm sitting in and you know whatever yeah gabe sacks who was one of the producers on freaks and geeks had um he's like one of those people

that just take so many photos like he like was like a person with a camera phone before camera phones existed like he always had a leica around his neck and a video camera with him and he documented so much of that time and he has this hilarious like camcorder video of me and my dirty 92 honda civic hatchback like cleaning it out with water bottles and like you know like just gross it was just like gross and 7-eleven coffee cups and yeah um and i was giving him like a tour of my car and then i was like you know maybe someday maybe someday i'll be driving a bmw probably not though like just like i couldn't even imagine it you know what i mean yeah so i think i never lose sight of that thing. And I think that some people do. I think some people, it's easy for them to be like, well, this is my life now.

Like, it's always going to be like this. Right, right. Yeah. And this is what I deserve. And this is, you know, I'm finally where I should be. You know, that kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah.

Now, when you when when Instagram started and you you know got on board with it I didn't actually get it at first like I was like what is this I don't understand but what but then but you did and I mean and it's I'm not like you know you know this and articles have been written about like what a unique Instagram presence you were and how you were kind of like you became everybody's friend, you know, like in that in that you were so. Just just you were it was it was not there wasn't there didn't seem to be anything other than here's me. You know, I like to share. I like to talk to people. Here's me. And we're was that just something that you did did you know like that like did you did you know like the good and bad of what you were getting no no and I never

and I didn't even consider it because I also when I started doing the Instagram stories and I there I I didn't have that many people like that many people weren't following me you know it wasn't like it wasn't like I had this huge fan base yeah even though I'd been on TV since I was like a kid it wasn't it just wasn't that's not I don't know that's just not accurate to what my experience was like I right I it was like mostly I thought my actual friends and some fans that like genuinely liked me from Cougar town or something, you know, or for some geeks. And, and I think that I was at just a place in my life that is a relatable place for many, many women where I was just kind of feeling very lonely. I was just like lonely in my marriage, lonely as a mom, lonely at work, like feeling kind of unfulfilled in my career, even though I'd had all this success, but it just felt like, what the fuck is it even? And does it,

I'm still like struggling to find the next thing and it still feels like i'm never gonna be good enough and i'll never be enough and like um and so sort of turning to the abyss turning to these you know to the faceless abyss of consider your your followers the abyss no it's hilarious because i mean it's not an abyss but it is kind of like it's this big open void where you know somebody's out there but it might as well be the ocean you know but you don't but you don't exactly know who and and it and you just i don't know i just was sort of looking for something i was just looking for something yeah i don't know if it was like necessarily validation i think it was just to be seen and to be heard and to be seen

for who i truly feel like i am as opposed to any sort of thing that has ever been put on me in an article written about me or an interview that I've given or you know 10 minutes when you met me at a party you know I just wanted it to be a more holistic accurate representation of me yeah well yeah you've always been very good at that you've always been very good at that. You've always been very good at presenting an authentic version of yourself. And there doesn't, and there didn't seem to be any kind of like calculation behind it. It just,

I didn't, it never, I relate to it. Thanks. That's nice. Sure. Sure. Sure.

No, but I, but I mean, but why do you think that you, you know, like, cause there's so many people, I mean, right now, like I'm, I'm working, Thanks. That's nice. Instagram who have big followings and, you know, and trying to get them to, you know, what do they call it? To amplify things, you know, boost. Yeah.

Signal boost. Yeah. Signal boost. And so but, you know, there are some people like that are like. That I have been talking to and like, you know, I really don't do that where it's like that just to say, hey, you can be a poll worker or hey, you can register to vote. And they're just so protective and they're so well. I mean, it's so lame. And yeah.

And I mean, why do you think that that you you're not like that? Why do you and why do you think that you're just so comfortable? Because people aren't comfortable being themselves. No, I mean, and especially in the entertainment industry, right? being themselves no i mean and especially in the entertainment industry right like yeah profession that people get into where they get to pretend that there's somebody else for 12 hours a day um i don't know i mean for me i think it's like a bunch of different factors at this point historically speaking i think if you're a person who's like not interested in using your sizable platform to help amplify good causes and things then you're just a fucking narcissistic

asshole um and i also think like you're wrong i also just think you're wrong yeah um because i or or they just don't give a shit they just don't really care about the world you know well then you're yeah narcissistic asshole right right i mean but but it's yeah it's crazy i mean to me it's crazy but even like even if the thought was that it could it could somehow negatively affect you work-wise. I feel like I'm sort of living proof that talking about, I mean, truly one of the most divisive issues that our country deals with, abortion and women's healthcare. I make so much money partnering with brands,

both on Instagram but like you know I do commercials for brands I have become essentially I'm a commercial actor at this point which I love like I actually really I have no problem selling people things if I like the thing I'm like that's just what this is and And like for years, commercials have supported artists and like this is just a direct line. So I'm fine. I'm like happy to do it. And I really have mostly only had great experiences with brands that I've worked with. Well, I always feel anybody, any actor that gets like that gets weird about that or like, oh, I can't, you know, like not everybody.

It's like you're just you don't think you're in sales. Well, that's right. You know, you're in sales whether you like it or not. And so like so the sales just happens to be for Wrigley's gum. This instead of all the things that you're only selling passively by being on television. Right. Yeah. Anyone, any actor who's doing any kind of like any television where you're you are a part

of selling these things like that's just what you're that's essentially what you're doing um is you're creating the content that goes in between the ads yes so for me it's never been like a moral dilemma of whether or not i wanted to partner with advertisers, especially when they started coming directly to me and I was using my Instagram in that way. And it was just a question of like making sure that the brands that I was partnering with were things that I liked or believed in or whatever.

You know what I mean? Or there's- Blood diamonds, things like that. Right. A lot of times they'll throw in like, and a lot of times I'll ask and they'll like throw in a charity component you know like oh that's oh this kids brand like well i will yeah i'll do this post will you donate you know a bunch of your toothbrushes to baby to baby it's the organization i work with here yeah sure we'll donate 1500 toothbrushes okay

great you know so it's like or or a money you know like a donation to the charity whatever um the point being oh after i started really you know talked about my abortion openly on my show and it wasn't even a question to me because of what was happening in the country and the um you know these extreme abortion bans that were sort of being pushed through with the hopes of getting these things to the new supreme court and getting chipping away at roe um and and i and i know i know that there are people that would think well that's career suicide in terms of working with you know these big brands that i got the old navy commercial after that yeah i ole uh who i have a skin care deal with ole and i do commercials for them and

did the super bowl commercial last year i know i remember they told i mean they legitimately said the brand is is really um is is really supportive of your activism uh for women's reproductive rights and they and they love that you have like taken such a stand and so i guess i feel like it mean it hasn't slowed down my opportunities in terms of brands at all so then i'm like so what are these people afraid of like these people that you're contacting? Do you know what I mean? Like, are you afraid of alienating like somebody who what? Believe I believes in white supremacy, like believes that women shouldn't.

I just think that a lot of people just they. Yeah. I mean, I'm I'm right there with you. And I, you know, because people will say because I mean, I've never been shy about being about speaking out. And to me, it's like to call it politics is weird. It's just like, no, you mean like you mean like, yeah, no, women's bodies should be their choice. Right. Like it's like, what what do I i get to say why do i get any say in that in that deal like why am i yeah well yeah gay people should get married who gives a shit yeah that's i mean i mean who gives a shit but yeah you should give a shit you know i mean it's really important but also it's like why would you fight against that what i don't know you know and there's

actually a really interesting article i just sent it to someone else that's like from 2013 a politico article about um like the real origins of the um anti-abortion oh yeah evangelical right movement yeah and like jerry falwell and how he was just like essentially trying to like get his racist agenda. Yeah. Like racism became unpopular and ugly. So they're like, well, we can now let's switch over to abortion. You know, that's correct. That's like exactly literally abortion. Yes. Yeah. It's crazy. It is.

that they could get like their candidates in there and elected who were also you know uh upholding racist agendas yeah yeah it's i mean it really is like and it also gets down to fundraising it also gets down to like money like you know anti-black stuff used to be a big money maker for them and then it started to get like a little too hot that you know like too hot yeah so it's just too hot for us so let's go over to abortion and then get people riled up about that and then that becomes a moneymaker you know like like the fucking wall you know there's like people are giving money to the wall people are you know it's like you just you're being fleeced you know you're being yeah i mean you might as well be giving it to a televangelist because it's it's well that's essentially what every yeah these guys are it is it's all yeah it's all like

the same idea of of of you know better better than you know better than the people on the other side of the wall, better than the people who aren't into Jesus, better than, you know. Oh, man, we should fix things. You and I. You know what? Here's what I'm going to say, Andy, is that we're trying. We're trying. We're trying in ways both small and medium. Yeah.

And and that it doesn't you can't not one person can do all of the things like we all have to do all of the things that's the other thing that i've had these crazy conversations with people too like um well i sort of have my issue that i really focus on i'm like okay i see but also you can have many issues that you focus on and you don't just have to have one issue. And and like it is weird because I've had conversations with like publicists and people who, you know, help guide famous people's careers or whatever. And I know and I know that that's a common feeling like, well, she really does so much work with Operation Smile, so she's not going to be able to support women's right to job. What are you talking about?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. These things can all exist concurrently. Yeah, that's ridiculous. It's ridiculous because also like just I know and I know as a person who gets asked to do all sorts of things like and i do i get so many asks at this point for so many things and i do know that there is like a certain level of prioritizing that you want to be able to do and like for me you know i i know which things i sort of i'm like well i don't know if we need to post about the local animal charity today. You know what I mean?

But bless. I'll make a donation. How about that? I'm the same way. I'm the same way. I kind of, you know, I have a dog. I love my dog. But like, I can't get that fired up about I have a rescue dog.

I encourage that. But I can't get too fired up about that one because i do feel like it's hard there's a lot of people stuff first there's a lot of people right now especially like yeah i just like i don't know what america are we living yeah like you know god bless them let them take care of it because then i cannot have to worry too much about the animal stuff you know what i mean yeah my best friend is it's like her whole thing so i'm like yeah i feel like we're covered she's doing yeah she's doing exactly you're balancing she's got it i'll give her i'll do i'll give them money i'll give her organization money like we're i'm saying

can't you tell my loves are growing what where where are you going now i don't mean now like after this i mean like what what do you want to do with your with your life now i mean are you going now? I don't mean now like after this. I mean like what do you want to do with your life now? I mean, are you got any plans? You just kind of keep going as you're going? No plans. I got all the plans went out the window. No, I mean, I guess.

No, I've got plans. I'm open. I'm open to being flexible. guess no i've got plans i'm open i'm open to being flexible and um in a way that i never i think that this past six months has been fucking wild yeah and obviously and uh i had a lot of plans i've always been a person with like so many plans and i've always been a person who's been able to like sort of not acknowledge where I'm at presently because I'm like but in I'm gonna be there in the future then everything will be great like once I get there everything's gonna be great everything's gonna be great and I've lived that way for a really long time and I think that the pandemic and the shutdown was a pretty like rocking experience for me.

And even though I've been in therapy forever and I've, you know, like feel like I had done all this work, I realized that like just sitting in the uncertain present was really untenable for me for so many reasons. And I had to like fucking face it and i can think of a different way to be and and a way to like be look around and determine what i am so grateful for and what i can like how i can continue that and what what moving forward even looks like or what it's

going to be career wise, but also just like personally. And I think it's caused a lot of people that have to have that, that thing, you know, that like evaluation. Yeah. Cause that we don't stand still ever.

Yeah. So we're doing this podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Plug that. So we're doing a podcast and no, you had a late night show i want to talk about uh that just for a second for a second but i want to talk about for a second but i mean

is that something you want to like pursue that more like something like that or was it kind of like you dipped into it you dipped out no i really loved it and i loved doing it it was really fun unique show thanks yeah thanks and i feel like i really made something that was uh for my people yeah you know and not for anyone else really and i think that that's rare you know i think so much is made for a very specific audience that um looks and acts and is sort of the same. But I mean, in terms of like network television, cable and stuff,

but I loved it. And I think it was really creatively and sort of like culturally successful, even though it was canceled by the cable network. E. They must be named. I mean, who cares even what is it you know it's all uh it's all silly you know yeah none of it means anything but uh but i really did but i really do think that representation means something i really do think diversity of voices means something and i don't even know if i'm like that person you know what I mean I'm not you try and

you try so white I'm just a white lady yeah but you tried really hard with that show specifically and it didn't go unnoticed you know and I do think that that's thank you that's like the like what are we gonna do about the situation we have to try like that. And you were visibly actually trying, you know? Yeah, we were. And I think we did a really great job. And I am really super proud of the show. And, you know, Casey and I had a lot of things that we were putting together and and looking to the future of what entertainment is and how it's where it's put out and how it's who it's put out for and all those things and we'd been working for many months putting this pulling this project

together and we were actually we had sold the podcast and we're doing the podcast about that and then and we'd recorded like a bunch of stuff oh about about the about the talk show going away about about the talk show going away and then the next thing that we were putting together after oh i see like because we both had sort of like a you know like a come to jesus moment where we took stock of the landscape of what tv and streaming and what the future could look like possibly. And we like just came up with this idea. We were working with this media company and we were building this whole thing. And it's like not even worth talking about because it's all gone away because of the pandemic. And when that happened and we and we and we had sold the podcast as like sort of like following

our journey as we were building this thing and we were excited that we might be able to like announce something at south by southwest and then like everything stopped you know and the world stopped casey and i stopped i personally stopped i had you know my kids are little so I have a I had a kid in first grade and one in fifth grade and we had to finish their school year and I just was like I can't I can't even focus on what this is so or what it could be or how we even salvage or whatever so we just kind of like scrapped it and then a couple months in june i guess a few months later our podcast was supposed to launch i think in march march april april maybe april and uh we scrapped the whole thing and then in june i was like why don't we just like lean into this moment i don't know what exactly it is but

like let's see if shantira wants and she was a writer. Shantira Jackson was a writer on Busy Tonight. Let's see if Shantira wants to join us. I felt like there were so many conversations that I was having with my friends who are black that were important. And then also just like that their point of view was something that was needed. Yeah. In all in all discussions, discussions discussions of pop culture discussions of whatever the fuck yeah uh politics and certainly like you know fast anyway fast food everything yeah why not uh clothing um but so shantira was like yeah i'm down that would be fun

and we can talk to people about like pivots that their lives have taken and unexpected, you know, sort of derailments in dreams or plans and how it worked out for them. Or maybe it didn't work out for them, but they learned something. And so, yeah, we like it ended up being kind of the best case scenario because I do feel like it's really helpful in this moment right now. So many people are having to deal with these pivots. So many people have been furloughed or laid off. So many people have to change careers entirely. Yeah. Like their jobs just don't exist anymore.

And, you know, as a country, I think we're facing a real pivot moment and we can like do one of two things we can like be fearful and sort of cling to an old bad way that wasn't servicing everyone or you can like lean into the pivot and say okay this is gonna be an unknown but you know what i'm gonna just be enthusiastic and try to help the pivot along and yeah and i hope that i hope for the best yeah yeah so that's what happened and that's and that and that's your and the podcast now and it's called uh it's called i'm trying is that the or is that sure yeah no it's called busy phillips is doing her best doing her best yeah yeah and um i'm sorry i don't i don't have it in front of me why would you have it in front

of you by the way everything's too difficult andy and you know me we've known each other a long time i know i know all right you can just ask me what it is well there you go and it's with uh casey saint jean saint ange and uh case Onge. And Shantira Jackson. And we've talked to some really great people. I mean the Rosie O'Donnell interview. Was like one of my favorites. She's like kind of a hero of mine. And she really I think has been put through the ringer. In so many different ways.

Publicly. And you know she still is just. And she's always just been a person. That's wanted to put good into the world and i i really admire her um strength and anyway so that was a great conversation um we have a conversation with amber ruffin coming up who got a late night show for peacock which is coming out it's exciting um we talked to michelle kwan the yeah olympic figure skater figure skater who now works in politics yeah and works for the biden harris campaign um danny mcbride and well yeah i've kept you long

enough we both have things to go do uh we get is that three questions did you hear where you came from where you're going we talked about that and now there's the what have you learned? That's the third one. That's what you've got to answer now. Yeah. Well, I learned that there is a time for standing still and there's a time for movement. You're not supposed to laugh after the big point of it all statement it's supposed to be very profound and serious i mean i don't know how profound that is but uh sometimes you'll get to a point where you're like i can't stand still anymore yeah and you're gonna have to just figure out a way to move forward yeah it might not be the way you thought yeah but you gotta do it you just have to put one

the only way you can do it is just one foot in front of the other until until it feels until you figure it out sister i know yeah i agree yeah that's it yeah yeah well but also but don't ignore the standing still place because a lot of things happen in the standing still place where you're able to really confront some shit that you got to confront. And like, that's big. If you're a person that's always moving forward and never standing still, you might miss something. Yeah, and that becomes running. You know, that becomes running away.

It can be, you know. Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, what are you running from? Yeah. Got to figure that out, too. Yeah. Yeah, I guess, you know, don't be scared, out too yeah yeah i guess you know don't be scared too that's the other one don't be scared oh you can't let fear control yeah you're you're your own friend so why be scared of you get in there and figure around

fear-based decision making has never benefited anyone yeah literally in the history of of the world and mankind yeah we could do the research we haven't but i guarantee you that fear-based decision making has never been beneficial right except in a bear attack i bet that's not fear-based i bet that's survival-based all right yeah you're probably right. Yeah, I bet I am. All right. Okay. I'll give that to you. Yeah. All right. Well, Busy, thank you so much again for doing this with me. Andy, thanks for having me. And good luck on everything else. Thanks. All right. I'm going to need it. We all do. We all do. All right. And tune in next time for the three questions when I will talk to somebody probably not as interesting.

But, you know, what can you do? The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco and Earwolf production. It's produced by me, Kevin Bartelt, executive produced by Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Chris Bannon and Colin Anderson at Earwolf. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, associate produced by Jen Samples and Golitsa Hayek, and engineered by Will Becton. And if you haven't already, make sure to rate and review The Three Questions with Andy Richter on Apple Podcasts.

This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.