The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Carey O'Donnell

Episode Date: February 25, 2025

Writer and comedian Carey O'Donnell (Sexy Unique Podcast) joins Andy Richter to discuss his teenage years, growing up "dangerously bad at math," his dream of becoming a German frau wife, his mixed feelings about the internet, and much more. Do you want to talk to Andy live on SiriusXM’s Conan O’Brien Radio? Leave a voicemail at 855-266-2604 or fill out our Google Form at BIT.LY/CALLANDYRICHTER. Listen to "The Andy Richter Call-In Show" every Wednesday at 1pm Pacific on SiriusXM's Conan O'Brien Channel.

Hey everybody, welcome back to The Three Questions. I'm your host, Andy Richter, and today I'm talking to Kerry O'Donnell. Kerry O'Donnell is a fucking delight. He's a writer, a comedian, and a podcast host. He's written for television shows such as Heathers, Adventure Beast, and the Netflix special Stand Out. He is the co-host of the very funny, sexy, unique podcast, and I had a great time talking to Kerry O'Donnell. but that's, it probably wasn't. Wives Tale. Was probably Irish. Just some Irish.

Disgruntled. Some Irish scallywag. Yeah. I like to blame the Irish. Do it. Well, we're talking today, you know this, because I probably just did a prerecorded intro to Carrie O'Donnell.

Have we started? We have started. Oh, wow. We always, it's a very, it's a soft start. Okay, you trick me. Yeah, yeah. It it's a soft start. Okay, you trick me. Yeah, yeah. It's like a cold start. I do, because I try and get you to divulge things.

Oh, man. And again, and I need to apologize to the audience and to you for my voice, laryngitis. I just, the problem is I just, I can't stay out of the clubs every night. It's giving like college Sunday morning. Yeah. It's, I just can't stay out of the clubs every night. It's giving, like, college Sunday morning. Yep. It's, it's, I just can't stay out of the clubs. I've heard that.

And when, and when the drop happens, I howl like a wolf every time. And it's not good for me. The town is talking about your, your kind of a magnet. Oh, I know. For the club. What annoys me is that I'm completely asexual. And they make it like I'm some kind of predator.

And it's like, show me the evidence. You're there to dance? I'm there to dance. I think most people know that about you. That you're there to just like get down. I'm just there for dance and the Siroc. Yeah. Just those two things.

Hypnotic. Hypnotic. As long as there's a cue in it. Yeah. I'll drink it. Yeah. You're a Hyde girl. You post stuff at Hyde. Were you, in your days, in your drinking days, were you a club guy? I wasn't like at the club.

I was like that straight people go to. I think I was more at like, I used to live in Bushwick, so I was at like a warehouse. Oh, okay. Derelict space. And were they primarily gay spaces? Yeah, they were queer, gay adjacent. I think Bushwick is sort of kind of gay, everyone,

even if you're straight. Might as well. You just have like a plant in your window. Went in Rome. Yes. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, I was like a, kind of a raver, if you will. I say I never could, I'm more, like I, when I was 19,

wanted to go to taverns that 70-year-old men were sitting around. Yeah, but I liked that too. I was many, I was a drink at home alone, pissed my bed. Oh. But I was also like a pirate tavern. You know, like I was a hag.

I was a wench. I was like a wharf girl. That blouse off the shoulders, that peasant blouse off the shoulders. So I could do it all. That's amazing. That was fun. Ah, youth. The versatility of youth. Yeah. Well, now you're originally from South Jersey.

Yeah. You don't sound, you don't have any sort of... Philly. Philly sort of... Philly. Philly kind of... Sometimes. Did you have to, does it come out?

It comes out once in a while. Yeah. I had one more, I think I just like, I wasn't trying to lose it. I'm not one of those people that's ashamed. That's what I was gonna say. I love an accent. Was it a conscious?

No. Yeah, yeah. I think it's just, you know, I'm worldly. No. Right. When you're a globetrotter, I'm worldly. No. Right. When you're a globetrotter. I'm a globetrotter. No, I think it just slowly dissolves.

But it does come out, especially when I'm talking to like my family or if I'm talking really fast, when I'm reading something, it comes out loud. Yeah, drinking too is always like, I think people, like I have friends that are Southern, that come to drinks and they're Southern, you can really tell. And you're Chicago.

I'm from Illinois, but it's kind of, it's weird though, I mean, my accent is... Subtle. It's because I'm, it's a flat Midwestern kind of normal accent, but where I grew up in Chicago, you got Chicago TV, which is all, you know, It's a flat Midwestern kind of normal accent, but where I grew up in Chicago, you got Chicago TV, which is all cash back for your Dodge and mommy and daddy.

But then you grow up around people that talk kind of country. Like my grandparents, and I grew up with my grandparents, and so I was around a lot of old people, and a lot of them talk real country. know like yeah like they were either from somewhere yeah oh Southern Illinois might as well be Kentucky because you're bordering Missouri right Missouri on the left but then Kentucky below why yeah I didn't I thought Kentucky was no no Kentucky's below Illinois and Indiana. Yeah. Indiana especially.

Southern Indiana's fucking Appalachia. I have a weird poll to Indiana. It's, you know... You know what it is? Actually, I do know why. It's Close Encounters of the Third Kind takes place there. Oh, does it? And part of it does, and I used to always want to go like pastoral Indiana.

Yeah, yeah. It is beautiful. My dad lives in Southern Indiana. Wow. He was a teacher at IU. Yeah, yeah. My dad lives in Southern Indiana. He's one of the classy ones. He's a professor there?

Yeah, he was a professor at IU. Wow, that's like ultimate college. Yes, and IU is gorgeous. It's a really, really beautiful campus. And it's sort of like Austin and it's an oasis in like a very conservative area. Like a blue. Yeah, yeah.

And I remember there was, when I was a kid, there was a national lampoon, like, guide to colleges. And they said that like, and I always remember this, and it was kind of funny because there was something, like it was silly, but there was something that was kind of true to it. Cause there's a big gay community in Bloomington. Really? Yeah.

And cause my dad's gay. Oh, oh. Yeah, yeah. And, but there was, the joke was that like, Bloomington was like, that if you order a pizza late at night, your delivery person will be gay, and the more complicated the pizza order, the more flamboyantly gay the person would be. They had to send out their toughest soldiers.

I know exactly. Did your dad? Uh-oh, six ingredients. He came out, yeah, well, certainly it was a surprise to my mother. Yeah, he came out when I was four. Oh. And, uh...

So you kind of lived your, most of your life knowing, like... Yes. Okay. Yes, although I didn't know he was gay until he told us when I was, I'm gonna get, I'm not good with like remembering when something happened. I could have been eight, I could have been ten. I don't remember exactly. But he did tell me and my brother,

I might have even been younger, you know, but he did tell me and my brother, which I never, you know, it never sort of, yeah, it was just like, oh, okay, yeah, you know. Wow, that must have been tough back then. I just didn't tell a bunch of kids. When I got to high school, I told some of my friends, but yeah, no, it's the amount of change in the world

in terms of human sexuality and gayness, it's really, I mean, it's still shitty, obviously. There's still... So much better. But it's so much better. I mean, you think about when you watch the like, the Ellen kiss episode, it's so fucking ridiculous. Or the Melrose place male kiss. Do you remember that one?

No. There was a male kiss on Melrose place that they cut away from. Really? Yeah. And it's just, it's so crazy, like, how silly. The Ellen thing was insane. Yeah.

Because it was so, like, tame and, like, sweet. Yeah. No, like how silly. The Ellen thing was insane. Cause it was so like tame and like sweet. Yeah. No, it's wild. I always think like, I know things are backsliding a little now, but I do have to remember even from when I was a kid. Yeah. South Jersey was not great to be gay.

I bet. But Philly is very gay. Or a big gay scene. Right. So it was a good. But is it neighborhood by neighborhood in Philly? Yeah. I mean, there's very gay. Yeah. Or a big gay scene. Right. So it was a good... But is it neighborhood by neighborhood in Philly? Yeah, I mean there's a gayborhood. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, do you have to be careful being gay in certain neighborhoods?

Or is it now it's just like everybody's so... I think it's mostly, I think it's pretty cool now. I mean, it is like a historically working class city. Yeah. And like, I'm sure there's still like pockets where it's like, but kind of like mayor of East town vibes. But no, like the gay, like even, I remember when I was living in New York,

even like 10 years ago, there was a gay bashing and the Philly within like a day rallied behind finding who the person was. And it was a couple of like college kids. And one of them was the daughter of like a police officer. And the Philly... Everyone in Philly was like, absolutely not, and we found them within, like, a day. And everyone was like, yay, surveillance state, but like, truly,

in that moment, I was like, okay, good. That is really... It's really cool. And I hope that... I mean, I hope that's not changing, you know? Well, I mean, once you can't get your mail, once you can't get your mail, maybe you'll be like, maybe the bigotry wasn't worth it. Yeah.

My husband got his German citizenship last year. Oh, sweet. So we have a... Are his parents German? His dad's from Germany. Oh, wow. Bavaria. Nice.

Yeah, or Bavaria S. My wife has, she lived in London for 10 years and got UK citizenship. So your daughter is... And my daughter has it too. Oh, wow. So, you know... Covetous passport. Yeah, no, it's great.

I mean, we could go, I wish it was Irish because then it would be EU. I know. But, you know, I'll take it. I'll be a German bride. Yeah, why not? Yeah. Yeah, sure.

Right? Yeah, it's just, it's payback. It's just lots of German brides were brought here Yeah, you'll be brought back to Germany. Yeah, right reverse operation. Whatever. Yeah. Yeah, yeah Such a cute house frow. I would be a frow I have frow energy. I'm domestic right? Oh me too. Yeah. Yeah. No, I love laundry. I I'm the cook in our house. You know, I me too. Yeah. Yeah, no, I love laundry. I'm the cook in our house. Oh, I'm the cook. Yeah, yeah, oh well.

You can order in. We don't cook in our house. Yeah, yeah. No. Germany too. No. No, no. We'll go to the local.

We'll just have schnitzel delivered every night. Door-dash. Yeah, yeah. Zauerbraten.com. Well, tell me about your childhood. I mean, were you a funny kid? Were you, I mean, because you seem, you're very funny and I mean, most people know you from your videos on the internet and your podcast, but there's also a shyness to you that I think even comes through sometimes in your videos. Really?

Yeah, I think so. Oh, I like that. Yeah. It's not, I'm not playing choir. No, I know, I know. I don't see you as someone that's full of guile either, you know? You know, I don't see, like, you know,

it's part of his master plan. No. His media strategy. Yeah, I'm media trained. Yeah, yeah. I was really funny as a little kid, and my parents always say the lights went out when I was like in fourth grade.

Why? I just, I started feeling, I started knowing I was like, not like the other boys. Yeah, yeah. I sort of went silent. Oh. But I was a really funny kid. Yeah.

I was very outgoing. I got most outgoing kindergartener. I knew all the older kids. I was more of a leader back then and then I blended blended. And then probably till like junior year of high school, I was sort of peripheral. Right. Is it a smallish town? Is it a suburban town?

Yeah, we're probably 12 minutes from like center city Philly. Oh, okay. But my town was like 12,000 people, really tiny. My dad grew up there. It's one of those places where like, your friends' parents know your parents, but you know what I mean? So I kind of just did my own thing.

And I still had friends, but I was bullied, but like my bullying was more like, oh, you're not, you don't exist. It wasn't like, I wasn't like sought out. It was just like, I was sort of just random. I was random. And how did, were your folks aware of this? And you know? They were aware when I was getting older,

they took me out of that school and I got transferred to an all boys school in Philly. They wanted me to get out. They were, I was like- Because they knew, they could tell that you were- Yeah, my mom said she used to wait, pick me up from school when I was like in high school. And she used to like, said she would from school when I was in high school,

and she used to, like, said she would wait, like, every day to see if I walked out with anyone, and I didn't. And she was like, oh, fuck. Extraction. Extract is gay. They didn't know I was gay, but they were just like, -"He's depressed." -"Yeah, yeah."

But I was fun— Like, my aunt always tells a story when I was— Not to, like, brag about being precocious, but, um, apparently when I was four, my cousin was in my class, and she was walking us with her dog, and he encountered a female dog, and they started doing a little dance, and I apparently looked at her

and started singing, -"Luck be a lady tonight." And she was like, -"The fuck, did you know that?" So I got like... -"Luck be a lady." -"They're gonna fuck." Yeah, I was like, the fuck, did you know that? So I got like, I had nuance. Yeah, I was like, they're gonna fuck tonight. So I had some nuance. Right, right.

But I was funny, like, I don't think people thought I was funny until I was in college. Yeah. You know? And were you out in high school? No. I mean, I don't know if that's an appropriate question, but I- What the fuck?

I know, I'm sorry. No, I was not out at all. I was deeply closeted. Was there any out kids in your school? No, I remember there was one gay kid at my boys' school who was weirdly respected. Yeah. No one.

Yeah, yeah. He was very out, he was super flamboyant, so people were just like, hey. Yeah. But no, I was like a closeted swimmer. Which just tailed all his time. There was a little dead poet society. Closeted swimmer.

Yeah. I had like. The current is running against you. I was infinity pool, just constant. Swim the gay away. Swim him, yeah. If I swim long enough, I won't want to, you know. Be with a fella.

Be with a man. Yeah. A male companion. But I had like emotional fixations on guys. Yeah. Did you have, did you have a lot, I mean, did you have friends once you got to the boys? And first of all, is the boys' school religious? It was Jesuit.

I had friends, like I had girlfriends. I had like, I had my best friend, who's still my best friend from when I was five, he's also gay. Oh, okay. So we had like, but we didn't tell each other, but we had like sort of a silent solidarity. Right, right.

So I had like a, I had a good safety net, but I was, I, when I went to the boys' school though, I had new kid cool. I could reinvent myself, you know? So no one knew that at my old school, I was like a loser. So I kind of like was ushered into, you know, being a new person.

Right, right. So I had some cred. And what were your extracurriculars? I'm gonna kill myself for saying cred. No, don't. My extracurriculars? We can cut that out. Don't cut that out.

Cut it. Don't cut that out. Swimming. Swimming. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. because you're in another element, staring down, you're alone in your head. Which is why I think there's a lot of gays attracted to it. Not just, not the obvious of like... Yeah. It's more, it's like a mental prison and gays... Beautiful live bodies. Yeah. We love to do that when we're in the closet. We like to imprison ourselves. Wow.

So it's like a fun place to do that. You know, and it's good for you. It's great for you. I wish I could swim better. I basically have dog paddled my entire life. I'll be your coach. Let's go to the Rose Bowl. All right. Yeah. Well, that's a wrap. That's a wrap. So when you, when you, what do you go to college for? Swimming. Oh, but I mean, but I didn't know what I wanted to do. I was always good at writing. With math, I was dangerously bad.

Yeah, yeah, me too. It was a threat. I stopped taking math the minute I could. Yeah, it was a problem. I was in, my mom tried to get me tested for ADD because she wanted me to get extra time in the SATs. Yep, yep. Which is like, people don't remember,

that was like a thing that was happening. People were like... My kids get it. Yeah. Yeah, both my kids, we, you know, developmental psychologists, it's like, yeah, these kids are like fucking, are like canaries.

They have very short attention spans. They need a little extra time with tests. But I went to like a center to get tested, and they were like, he's just bad at math. He's just truly stupid at math. But I was always, but in writing I was always squaring, but like, you know, back then, it was still like, no one cared about writing.

So when I went to college, I was like, maybe I'll be a philosopher. And then I took an intro to creative writing class and my teacher was like, you should do writing. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's nice. So I just kind of went with it.

That's cool. Yeah. And you didn't, did you have, like, were you, well, I mean, because you did end up working paper writing stuff, you know? Yeah. Yeah, I worked in New York media for like five years. Yeah. And then I ended up being York media for like five years.

And then I ended up being a digital editor at Paper Magazine, which was really cool. Wait, where did you go to college? Franklin and Marshall. Which is in? Central Pennsylvania. Oh, okay. It's in Lancaster where like the Amish live.

Were you just like liberal arts kinda? And it's in like a liberal arts college? Oh yeah, I think there were 4,000 people. The college was really tiny. Was that good for you to go to a place that small? Uh, no. I mean, in retrospect, I wish I'd gone to like a city school, but it was a good, I made a lot of good friends

and it was a good writing program. Yeah. So, but I was, to be gay was, it was a bit of a hellscape. Yeah, yeah. Fat boys. That's where I shot them out. Right, right. Although there's a lot of those in there. I was in a fraternity and... Oh no, that's what I'm saying. I was like, I had to look into the depths to get any kind of cock.

I was thinking you would say, or were saying connection, but, you know, it's the same thing. Connection. Yeah, yeah. Um... You were in a frat? I was. What was your frat?

Sigma Phi Epsilon. I still occasionally will get, like, a straight email from them, even though I don't. I bet they want you as their, like, big alumni. Ugh. No, they... Well, I mean, I've never, I stopped. I didn't pledge until late in my freshman year. So basically when I came back for my sophomore year was our hell week or whatever the fuck it's called.

What was the worst thing you did? You don't have to say. They didn't, well, they didn't do hazing. And that was, and I was very, cause there were some of them that did hazing. And I was like very, very like, do you guys haze? Like I asked, is there hazing? No, no, no, there's no hazing. But there was one night where it was kind of like a scavenger hunt kind of thing during that week.

That's cute. And, and, but you would go to different sororities and the sororities would humiliate you. Whoa, I like that. Like make you fillet a banana in front of all, you know, whatever, whatever sorority sisters didn't have homework and wanted to come down to the- That's kind of progressive.

Well, it was annoying. Yeah. It was annoying. And now the whole thing was annoying. And, um, And I had gotten an apartment and they wanted us to sleep in like the basement of the frat house in the chapter room or whatever, unlike these shitty old mattresses. And I was like in there for like about 10 minutes and I was like, I'm going back to my apartment. And I, so I never slept down there, which they were like, you're supposed to sleep down there.

And I'm like, I'm not going to sleep down there. OK. You know? You had your wherewithal. Yeah. And then I stopped paying my dues because I just, there was just like, it was just, it was not for me. It was not for me.

And it did not take long for me to realize it was not for me. So you walked away from FratLife while in college. Yes. That's cool. And I transferred to, it was easy too, cause I transferred to a new college. But I would like my second semester, my sophomore year,

I used to go there for parties or you could go there and eat dinner and somebody like the guy in charge of making you pay for things would be like, hey, you're not on your dues, you shouldn't be here. And I'm like, well, I guess you gotta throw me out. You know, like... You were punk rock.

Yeah, not really. It sounds a lot, I mean, it sounds... That was like one sliver of my existence. I'm not really that way. You were probably in like, I'm like interviewing you now, you were probably in like the improv comedy scene, right? Well, not at that point, I'm not really that way. You were probably in like, I'm like interviewing you now. You were probably in like the improv comedy scene, right? Well, not at that point. I didn't know. I was, I had known I was gonna go to film school,

and I had started taking kind of art classes. Because I was at University of Illinois, Champaign-Urbana, and I had started to take art classes. So I was kind of like getting in with some more artsy, you know, photography kind of getting in with some more artsy, photography kind of people. Cool. But it wasn't until I got to film school

that I was like, oh, OK, yeah, these are the weirdos I'm supposed to be with. And then even beyond that, when I started doing improv, that was when it was really like, oh. You sought out the Mad Boys. Finally. It's like that bee girl video, that blind melon bee. Yeah.

You know that video? Yeah. I just listened to Blind Melon Bee Girl. You know that video? Yeah. I just listened to Blind Melon this weekend. Did you really? Why? Feeling suicidal? Yeah. I was like, I want to think about heroin. I was thinking about how he died and how sad that was. Yeah, yeah. No, very sad. Yeah. That's a good song.

Yeah. It is a good song. I was on a 90s kick. Yeah. Yeah, it is a good song. I was on a 90s kick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, well, see, 90s is, you know, you're younger, so much younger than me, 90s is a different sort of thing. Yeah. Like 90s is distasteful to me.

Really? Yeah, I don't know. I don't really like remember the 90s. I was born in, like I lived, I'm, I just like, I remember my aunt and my mom watching Bill Clinton saying he didn't... Have sex with that woman. Yeah, get a blowjob. Right, right. I remember Y2K.

Yeah. And I remember Independence Day. Yeah. That's it. Maybe I've locked it out. That's all you need. I'm just talking about on a macro-culture level. Right, right.

I remember the 2000s more. Yes. That's all you need. Like, I'm just talking about on, like, a macro-culture level. It's like, I remember the 2000s more. Yes. Yeah, well, like I said, I have a bad time remembering exactly. Like, if something happened, it's like, was it 98 or was it 2002? I don't know.

But the 90s for me, too, was so... Because The Conan Show started in 93. And that was just like so consuming. It was like a blur. Yeah, and I mean, and there was all of the pop culture stuff, like the music of that time. There were bands on and stuff, but I feel like it all just kind of went by me.

Yeah. Because every day we were doing this show and so much of it was processing pop culture references. And it would, so it would just become like grist for this mill that was always running. And I would go home from like, I'd go home and my ex-wife, she'd say to me, and I had just been there four or five hours prior,

we'd stay after and work more. But she'd say, you know, who was on the show tonight? And I would go... Ah... I don't remember. I don't remember. You're like dissociating a little. I remember crying in the car because my dad thought the Han...

I loved Hanson and I had their CD and he thought they were all girls on the cover because they all had long hair. Really? He goes, who are these little girls? And I started crying because I felt so wronged. Really? Yeah, he misgendered.

Wow, you took it personally? Yeah. Do you think that it was like, oh, oh. No, I think he truly was like, oh, these sweet little girls. Right, right, right. Now I think Hanson's like alt-right or something. They're like freaky. I don't know. I don't know.

I think they're like freak, religious, very questionable. It's so hard to keep track. It's so exhausting. How many people say stupid? Well, that's the internet just... And that's kind of like, that kind of brings me to the next point is that your career, I mean, like you said, you were in New York writing, but so much of it about the internet. Yeah. And I guess, like, how do you feel about your relationship with the internet?

I mean, Twitter got me most of my first jobs, like in the good times. The big start. No, Twitter was really cool. Yeah. When it was cool. Yeah, and I did that not till this went in Twitter with my friend Eli Uden, and that got me,

that got us an agent, a manager. Wow. So things, you could actually do that back then. Yeah, yeah. So I think it definitely, I feel like two agent, like a manager. So things, you could actually do that back then. So I think it definitely, I feel like two things, now I feel like my brain is rotted from it and I feel like a part of me is dead forever because of the internet, but I also am like, it's brought me good things.

I've met cool people, but it is a dark place. I want to leave, I think I'm ready, I don't know why I'm still on Twitter. Yeah. I watched that video of Elon Musk yesterday with sunglasses on and like a gold chain with a chainsaw. All fucked up. Seemed all fucked up. Yeah, he seems like he's on like just a constant drip

of ketamine or something. Or something, I don't know. You know, I don't know particular fucked up, but I know fucked up and he's fucked. He's rock bottom. He's on some kind of shit. Yeah, but I know fucked up, and he's fucked up. He's rock bottom. He's on some kind of shit. Yeah, and like I was like, I wanted him to...

And I was like, I wish he'd slipped in the chainsawed himself, but like, I'm like, I don't want to think this about people. Right, no. And I'm like, I just hate that he's running our country. I'm just like, I feel like gross being on that. So I'm like, and it. It's a cesspool now. Yeah. And it's gotten to the point too where it's exactly like you said. I was just talking to somebody the other day. I often find myself wishing that there were people that weren't

alive anymore. Yeah, I hate that. And that's not really anything I wanted ever to, I mean, aside from relatives, it's not anything I ever thought I would be doing. But yeah, it is, I mean, because it does seem now too, like we're living in like what the internet brought us in a way, you know? It's lead poisoning, Errol. Yeah.

We're in like that part of where Rome has like, everyone has lead poisoning and is like, sticking... Aqueducts were great, but... Yeah, and like, impaling each other, and you know, like I just think we're there. But then Twitter's good sometimes, because then I see like, sometimes I'll see like,

oh, Monica Lewinsky's on Twitter. Yeah, yeah. And I love her. I stuck around for a good long time because, A, I was stubborn. I felt like just cause some fucking asshole bought this thing, it's mine. It's not his.

But then it just got to be too bad. And also it was like, I don't know whether it's the algorithm or whatever, all I know is that I still had a good, I had the same amount of followers. I would put stuff out there and it'd be like 30 people would see it. And I have other friends that would complain about the same thing. So it was like, well, it's all slanted now. Because I still sort of felt like, because even when I'm political, which is like, I don't do because I feel like- Yeah, I don't know you for your like, political...

Well, on Twitter I used to be political a lot more. Yeah. And I, you know, like, and there were like certain things. You always did it in a funny way. I tried to. Never felt like grandstands, like you were... I tried to, and I tried always to be persuasive. Yeah.

I didn't want to just argue with trolls. Yeah. Um, but it just came out, I just just, I ended up feeling there's no point in this. There's it's literally screaming into like a beehive. Yeah. I mean, when I, early on, I didn't even know the word troll yet, but early on in Twitter, I said, you know, arguing with these people, with these assholes on here, I said, it's like trying to drown a, trying to drown a vampire with your own

blood, you know, cause you're just, you're giving them what they live for, and just diminishing yourself. So I just kind of came to the conclusion like, this is not worth it anymore. It's hideous. Yeah. But I'll stay on it. I probably won't. Well, it still seems to be the most vital one, the one that everybody's...

Yeah. Well, it still seems to be the most vital one, the one that everybody's... Yeah. Do you have, like, memories of your first sort of, like, involvements with the internet and, you know, like... Do you have any sort of, like, vivid memories of, like, where you're, like, on AOL or whatever?

Yeah. I do. I remember, like, AIM and sent writing emails to friends. Yeah, yeah. Just to like show them that I could. Right, right. I remember, I never went into like chat rooms, well like sexual chat. Like I have friends who like were, you know, exploring. Right.

I was always like, I kept it, I was very innocent for a while on the internet. Like I did go into a chat room called like, I love swimming and was like talking, but I was like, I was very innocent for a while on the internet. Like, I did go into a chat room called, like, I love swimming and was, like, talking. But I was, like, I was probably talking to, like, men older than my parents, you know? But I liked E-bombs world. I saw Refuge there.

I saw Refuge. A lot of crazy, fun shit in that place. Yeah, I loved all that. I liked, but yeah, I didn't really get into Twitter until like 2009. Yeah, that's about, I think 2010 is when I got into it. But like I had no one, I had like 50 followers and just was like tweeting about like what I was doing. What kind of made that,

what kind of started to get you traction? Um, I lived at home, at home, when I graduated college, I was in 2011, so there were no jobs, and I saw people were using it to be funny. Like I saw you on it, obviously you were already funny and famous, but I saw people getting their careers started on it, so I was like, I never thought I would do anything funny or in comedy,

but I just started posting stuff and then people started seeing it. Yeah. And it kind of like built like my little world. It was kind of interesting because you could organically grow a following. You know, there wasn't any sort of shortcuts. You weren't paying money to get stuff. It was just like, I'll just start putting funny ideas out there. One person's.

And hopefully somebody, you know, yeah. Yeah. And it just would spread. And I know, you know, it's like you said, Twitter enriched my life. Like I have friends that are like real friends that I met from there. I know you from Twitter. Yeah, exactly. And it was also, it was like, Like, I have friends that are like real friends that I met from there. I know you from Twitter.

Yeah, exactly. And it was also like, I would say it was like the joke gym. It was like, you know, it was like you go there and it's like, oh, there's other people that just... Pumping. Yeah, exactly. Pumping the joke iron. Juicing. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it was innocent. Yeah. And also very. Yeah, it was innocent. Yeah. And also very egalitarian, you know? I think it was a lot. There was no gatekeepers, so I think there's... You saw so many funny women. Well, there were some gatekeepers. There were?

You were at the top of the... Oh, is that what it is? So you didn't see. No, there were... I feel like there were, like, meeting... I remember meeting some people in real life, and they were, like, totally bizarre. And just like... Yes.

Weird anti-social weirdos. But also just like, hot shot, you know? And I was like, what? You know? So there were, I think there were, like, in my mind, like, villains. Right. Right, exactly. Twitter villains.

But it was fun. But it was never like... And then there was an era where you were discovering people were like completely lying or like were not who they said they were. Do you remember those days? Mm-hmm. And you know...

Yeah, where like there would be... Someone's like a freakish youth path. It's like, that's not a woman. That's not a housewife. That's some weird guy. That's a weird... Or like, oh, they're like a weird youth pastor. Yeah, yeah.

Like, hate gay people. It's always the youth pastors. Yeah, it was always like a weird Christian thing. Yeah. So that was always fun. But again, that was less, that was more kind of sweet. Yeah. Now it's like, oh, they're like a mass shooter.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's all been amped up, all the toxicity and everything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Can't you tell my love's a-growing? You also, on your, the Sexy Unique podcast, which you do with Laura-Marie Schoenalls,

you do a lot of reality TV. And is that, like, do you see all of them? Like, does that? No, I don't watch all of them. I've always loved it. My mom got me into Housewives. She was watching, like, Orange County in 2006 when it first came on.

So she turned me on to it. I've always liked reality TV, though. Yeah. I don't watch all of it, though. I don't watch all the Bravo shows. I watch, like, a few. There, my Philly accent just came out. Bravo Shays. Um...

I watch and I don't watch Survivor, which I know is bad, as a gay. I mean, why is it? It's like a gay thing. Oh, really? I'm, like, still, It's like a gay thing. Oh, really? Yeah. I'm like still, I'm surprised it's still there. Oh, it's a huge.

Wow. Oh, you know, I have gay friends that love Big Brother too. That's the other one. Especially because Big Brother gets like, there's dirty after clips or something, you know? Did you see the Montoya clip? Mm-mm, I don't know what that, I don't know that much about it.

Love that Temptation Island, Spain? Uh-uh. Okay, did you see it?oya clip? Mm-mm. I don't know what that... I don't know that much about it. Temptation Island, Spain? Uh-uh. Okay. Did you see it? I did see this. What is it? What's like a man kind of falling to his knees, screaming at the sky, watching it? It's a show, you know, it's like they bring couples

to try to break them up and get them to fuck other couples. And he's sort of... Sure. He's being shown his girlfriend in bed with a man, and then they start full on fucking, and you hear slapping noises, and he's crying, ripping his shirt off, Lily, rose-depped style Nosferatu,

crying at the sky, and then he runs down the beach during a thunderstorm, screaming for his, how could you do this to me? And then they keep cutting back to the night vision, and you just hear full on, bop, bop, bop, bop. You know, I've never... Slap, slap, slap. I was like, whoa.

I know, I know. But yeah, Big Brother, I think, has that grainy night vision. They showed him the video on the beach? Like, come down to the beach, we want to show your girl... The host was like, watch your girlfriend be entered by this man. And he's like, no! And it was just like the plight of man screaming at the heavens, and it was beautiful.

Oh my god. How could you do? And he's saying it in Spanish. You bitch! Like, how could you do this to me? So I like that. Oh, it is amazing how that like, like that's not funny at all, but it's pretty fucking funny.

It's so funny. It had like 300 million views on the video. Like it truly was like, I've never seen anything like it. It was such a, and it was like, this is, this to me is like the ultimate like man video. Right, right, right. No! Do you think though, because I do feel like

in order to be able to watch these things, you have to dissociate yourself from the person. But I'm good at that. Is that, I mean, when I said you, I don't mean necessarily me, I mean, one has to, in order to watch people go through these traumas and be entertained by them, you have to dissociate. And I think they do a good job, usually, of finding idiots.

That are sort of like, like, they can't be too likable. Because then it won't be fun when they see the night vision and scream, how dare you, and run down the beach. Well, on our podcast, Laura and I always say, like, we never, because a lot of reality show podcasts, which I think is cool too, but they'll have, like, a reality person that they're watching come on and be interviewed.

Yeah, yeah. Which is like, that's cool. But like we always say no. Oh right, right. We wanna keep a distance because we want to make fun of them. Right. And like if you're on TV, you're signing up to be seen

judged by your behavior. So like, I don't wanna hold back. Yeah. I want you to, I wanna see trash people. Yeah. You're garbage. Yeah, see I have a,, I don't want to hold back. I want to see trash people. You're garbage. Yeah, see, I have a... I don't know how I feel about that. Because I... Well... I'm leaving.

Well, my wife and I just recently, based on my 24-year-old son's recommendation, and by the way, I found out, like, in talking to my son about this, I find out, like, holy fuck, he watches like, like his, one of his big ones is something called Southern Charm. Oh yeah. And he fucking loves Southern Charm, you know? But it's hideous too.

I know, but I, and I can't even, It's great. Yeah, like that one, I just look, I'm like, oh no, no, that's, that's, He has good taste. That's the dank shit, I can't. Yeah. That's too much for me, you know?

It's like, it's glimpsing into like That's the dank shit. I can't. That's too much for me, you know? It's like, it's glimpsing into like... I always say like, I think hell is like cold math. Yeah. And sometimes reality shows like glimpsing into like... dead math. Does that make sense? Yeah, kinda, yeah. Like, hell is just like the void.

Right. And I think... And these people are the void. Southern charm is the void. Yeah, yeah. But it's good. But my, well, based on my son's recommendation, we just, over the last number of weeks, burned through Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.

Oh, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City is the best housewives maybe of all time. That's what, see, that's what my son said, and I do, and I was talking to my wife like, well, should we go to an excellent, and he's consulting with us like, well, Potomac is really good because, you know, in Atlanta, a lot of the people,

they're like sort of nouveau riche, but at Potomac, they're old money. Like he's giving us like this rundown and it's hard to decide. Cause I only watched, I watched the first season of Beverly Hills and then it turned I watched the first season of Beverly Hills and then it turned in for the next season and like one of them's husband had killed himself.

On the Holland Drive. Yeah, and that was not fun. That was like, I do not want this. I do not want this. That first season of, and kind of seconds, it was truly Twin Peaks. Yes. Like just of, just abject darkness.

Yeah. And fucking Kelsey Grammer. Kelsey Grammer. And I'm like, yes, oh, this is great. Good for you. And then, like, knowing, like, He's going to leave his wife. He's fucking somebody 20 years younger than her.

There's a moment where she's back in his dressing room after the birdcage. What is it? The cage, the food. La Cajun fall. And he's like, I'll see you much later. Instead of later. You know what I mean? Like, he's like, go, go, go. Right, right, right.

No, but that, having someone's husband hang himself is like the darkest thing in the world. And it was just like, well, you know, I could just see some like soulless producer going like, oh my God, that's terrible. How can we use this? Oh, they did a... They cut a scene post-suicide and then put it at the top of season two

as like they all gathered and they're like, well, this is very sad, terrible. Like, just to see their reactions. Right, right. They're like, roll the cameras. Right, right. Salt Lake City though, I think the key with Housewives is gonna be the big city, you can't really,

the drama is not gonna be as good as the smaller city. So they should focus on small, like mid-tier cities. Because everyone knows each other, especially with Salt Lake, you have like the religion, like the Mormon thing. The Mormon thing to me is, that is a flavor I will always enjoy. If you throw a little Mormon in there,

I'll be like, well, okay, at least there's some Mormon. Yeah, and like everyone like, well, okay, at least there's some Mormon, you know? Yeah, and like, everyone's husband is kind of gay, and like, just... Well, that's pretty much true everywhere. Yeah, but then there's some, like, did you watch The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives? Uh-uh. Okay, well, every husband on that show,

I was like, you're a family annihilator. Like, you know what I mean? They have that vibe. Yeah, yeah. And so it's very, it feels true crime at the beginning. Wow. That's also just Mormon They have that vibe. Yeah, yeah. And so it's very, it feels true crime in the beginning. Wow. That's also just Mormonism, I think. Yeah, yeah. Sorry.

Sorry, everyone. Sorry. Sorry, everyone. Well, the podcast, it does really well. You guys are doing it live everywhere, too. That was... Yeah, we went on tour last year. That was really fun. I'm not like a stand, like I did stand up a little,

like a few times in New York, but then I went to, I did an open mic one night and I like kind of left my, I froze and I totally bombed, left my body and then I looked up all these like comedy bros were just staring at me, like not laughing. And I was like, I'm gonna go walk in traffic. So I stopped doing it. But I do like performing and I think I'm, I'm gonna go walk in traffic. So I stopped doing it for a while. Yeah, yeah. But I do like performing, and I think I'm...

I have fun, I feel it in my element up there. So touring now feels like I'm cheating a little, but I get to like... Why? Oh, because you don't feel like you've earned? No. But I love it. Well, fuck it, you've earned it. You know what's like you...

I know, but some people, I feel like people in the comedy scene are like, are you a comic? Well, they're dickheads. Fuck them. Performing with the pod is fun, because you get to kind of do a little of everything. Yeah. And we're like singing too, so it's like I get to tap into my like musical theater kid thing,

and that I wasn't really a musical theater kid, but like I feel like tangentially I was. I was in a few plays, but it's really fun. I love it. We're not touring few plays. But it's really fun. I love it. We're not touring right now, but it's great. When you came from New York to LA, I mean, and then you sort of started to build a following, were you, I mean, I still have a very Midwestern sort of like,

well, how do you make a living? Like, has that been a struggle for you at different points, or have you been kind of lucky where you've been able to make it the goal of it yourself? I moved out here to write on the show. So I wasn't gonna move here unless I had a job. And then I got a job on Heathers, which was a great experience. I think it was too soon.

People were not ready for, People didn't like the show. Oh. Why was it too mean or too dark or whatever? It was like... Where was it? I don't remember. It was on Paramount Network. It was basically, the thing was, we were making fun of both sides, and people thought we were like,

went and ran with this narrative that the show was like alt-right and like Trumpian, which was really wild. Um... Wow. We made fun of like how bad our gun laws are, and ran with his narrative that the show was alt-right and Trumpian, which was really wild. We made fun of how bad our gun laws are and people thought we were promoting guns. And then every time they kept trying to release the season, there would be a school shooting.

So they were like, well, we can't. So it was just a mixture of things. But it was great. It was an amazing experience and it got me out here. Yeah. And you like the people and the work environment. That's cool. It was all mostly queer people.

Our head writer was a woman. It was the best. Greg Araki directed my episode. Oh wow. Who's the coolest queer director. So it was really fun. And then my other first job was Billy on the Street, so that was great too. Because that was just like me sitting in a room

with like Joel Kim Booster and Louis Fretel like writing about Margot Robbie making Billy laugh. So like I got lucky with like good juju in my first few rooms. But I have it, staffing's hard. I mean I've written on a few shows, but it's not easy. So, but that was how I made a living. Right, right. And was there a point at which you're like,

you don't have to go to butch for that anymore? Well, I just... No, it's just like, it's just few and far between. Yeah, yeah. You know, the last room I was in was like three years ago. Yeah. And then the strike happened. Tell me about it.

Yeah, so it's just, so the podcast has been great because it's kept me, I've been able to make a living about it. Yeah, so it's just, so the podcast has been great because it's kept me, I've been able to make a living from it. Yeah, that's great. And then I get to focus on like writing features and like doing that more, so that's cool. Yeah, tell me about your husband. He's an artist.

How'd you guys meet? We met at 7-Eleven. Okay, classic German love story. Yeah, a German, a German meet cute. Yeah. We German... A German meet-cute. Yeah. We met, we'd seen each other in AA. And then, I was like a month, almost two months after moving here.

And then he was in front of me in line, and was just like, hey, we should hang. Oh, nice. And I was like, yes. Yeah, yeah. And this, it was the same 7-Eleven, I think a few weeks earlier, someone had been like axed there.

Someone got chopped. Wow. So it was a place of... We found love in a hopeless place. Right. And then we started hanging out. Very sanguine. It was very...

Literally. Yeah. And then we started hanging out, we took it really slow. Because we're both... We both had the same amount of time sober, weirdly. Oh, really? But you're not really supposed to date in we both have the same amount of time sober weirdly. Oh really? Um, but you're not really supposed to date in your first year, but we kind of like. Who says that?

Bill. Bill? Bill W. Yeah. Bill W. That's, and he says that for everybody? That's just like a thing. It's like you're keep, don't move anywhere in your first year, which I did.

Don't date anyone in your first year, which I did, but I'm still sober. Right, right. Yeah, so I was kind of, I started dating him and then that was like, has been my whole experience really. Yeah. When we got married last year. Had you had- Or two years ago, sorry.

Sort of like more long time, yeah. I have to do the math all the time. Do you, have you had many long-term serious relationships before that? No. Yeah. Really, he was, I was like a, I was a mess all the time. Do you, have you had many long-term serious relationships before that? No. Yeah. Really, he was, I was like a, I was a mess in New York. Do you think it was because of addiction issues?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was just, you couldn't access the person that could hold down a relationship. No, I was, I was attracting people that weren't good for me or I was not good for that person. Like I was, I, you know, I remember there was a first date where I was like midway through, I was like, do you want to get blow?

Like on the date at like dinner. And he was like, sure. And you know what I mean? So I was, and we did and it was fun, but then I never saw him again. It was a test and you both failed. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I went on a lot of first dates. I had like a few flings, but it wasn't serious. And then I think I'm glad he was my first real one. What was the biggest adjustment to like, having a serious sort of relationship that turned into marriage? I think like honesty. Yeah.

And like being, allowing myself to like be seen. Yeah. Cause I, when you're an addict too, especially, and like allowing myself to be seen. Because when you're an addict too, especially, and I think queer people are good at like double, like living different versions of themselves. So I was just really good at like hiding myself. And I think I had to really work on like being transparent. No, I'm not a liar.

I just was like, I was an omitter. Right, right, right. Like, omitting was a big part of my addiction. Yep. So I had to really like learn to be, trust that if I share myself with him, that he won't, you know, run away. Right, right.

So that was my biggest thing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's, it's, uh, it's hard to sit next to somebody and be like, all right, we'll just, you know, I'm gonna be me and you're gonna be you and we're just gonna sit here till the grave. Yeah, and like little things that like,

when I first moved here, when I was writing on that show on Heathers, we didn't get paid for a while. There's so many like, you have to like wait to get, so I was living on the. Yeah, membership and all of that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

So there was a minute when I first moved here where like, I, I was only eating like hot dogs from 7-Eleven for dinner. And I would like eat them before I would go see him. So I would be like, okay, I don't have to eat dinner in front of him. Cause I don't want him to see me eat. And then I know. And then, so I would like eat it. I would scarf a hot dog down, but I didn't want him to see me eat. And then, I know. And then, so I would like eat it, I would scarf a hot dog down,

but I didn't want him to know I was eating 7-Eleven hot dogs, because that felt shameful. Right. And because he's German, and they put a priority on good sauces. Yeah, I mean, he's from, he was born here. I know. Grew up in Austin. But that's not what I...

Yeah, but in your mind, he's a... Yes, he's a wiener, a schnitzel. He has like the tiniest eyeglass as possible. Yes. He's a... he's a... he's a... He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a...

He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a...

He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a... He's a... he's a... And then one time he said, you know, you can bring your hot dog here and eat it. Cause he could smell it on me. He could smell it on your breath. And I was like, what are you talking about?

So that was like, when I knew that I could share my rat world with him, that's when I knew he was good for me. Oh, that's great. Yeah. That's great. Well, where do you go from here? What have you got in the pipeline? I'm moving to a farm.

Are you? No. Yeah, don't do that. Yeah, I have. I mean, I'm working. I have some things, like screenwriting, like movie stuff, like things that I've written some stuff, and just trying to get all that going, and just get the podcast more eyes on it.

Do you try and put yourself out as a performer in other venues too, or is it mostly writing first and then kind of... Yeah, I mean, I want... I'm open to performing. Yeah, yeah. No, I feel like... You hear that, Hollywood? No, I've started self-taping in the last few years.

Isn't that fun? It's a great experience. Love it, love it. I feel like a crone, because I'm 35 and I'm like, I wanna be an actor. So I'm like, I feel like an old hag, because I'm probably self taping with like,

hot 20 year old guys. There's always a reason to feel shitty about yourself. I know. In any age. Yeah. So it's like, it's kinda like, I'm not saying like, don't feel that way, because it's inevitable, but just know that like, eh.

Yeah. Yeah, I've thought about like going, start, why don't I go to like an open mic and like just test some shit out, you know what I mean? So I've thought about it. But I like right now just performing in front of people that are paying to see me. Right, right.

I feel better that way. Right, right, right. Yeah. Well, what do you think, what's the main sort of message you want people to take away from your story or advice that you would give to people? I just think like putting yourself out there in whatever you do. I know this sounds really cheesy,

but it's like, it's brave and cool and like you should just, whatever you think is funny or you think is what you're passionate about, just like put that version of yourself out, which is like the true version. And people will like it. Yeah, yeah. You know?

Or not. Or not. And then that's fine. And then you move on. Yeah, I think just like, I'm trying to think, this is a hard question. Do people have a hard time answering this? Some do, yeah. What's wrong with me?

No, no. And then other people, like my favorite one that was Jen, Paget Brewster, was like, did not go philosophical. She was like, you can sharpen scissors by cutting aluminum foil with them. I like that. And I was like, that's really, that's a good thing to have learned.

Yeah. And it's, you know, it's probably as useful as find your tribe, you know, and which is another sort of common thing that people say. And it, you know, and the problem too is that there are like truths, like find your tribe. Like that is a theme that has run throughout, I've been doing this for five years now. I'm over Find Your Tribe. You know, six years. Shut up. But yeah, but Find Your Tribe is like, it's a real truism, but then it does become like

trite because it's like, okay yeah, I know, I know. Yeah, we get it. Yeah, yeah. But it is true. I also think just like, if you have a retainer, keep wearing it. You have a mouth guard at night. Absolutely. It helps with TMJ. I had to get, I had to, at a certain point, my bite became misaligned and I was causing little cracks

in my bottom teeth. No. And I had to wear Invisalign, and I wore the shit out of those things. Feels great, right? Yeah, but like just make it as short as possible, you know? And I also want to say, men, one thing I want to see is like men or people identified as male

need to be okay about hair loss and taking finasteride. Yes, yes. It's okay. Yes. You can do it. Yes. I want to talk about Propecia. Yes, I take it.

I take it every day. I take it. I get people are afraid of it. And I'm like, let's be honest about it. We're all on it. And you know, yeah. And we'll find out later if it's, you know. I will be taking Propecia into the grave.

I don't care if it kills me I will be very slow drip very Egyptian ancient Egyptian sarcophagus I want to be buried with right propisha and my Lexapro right my mouth guard right my Truvada what's her Vada prep? Oh, right? Right? Yeah. Yeah that thing. Yeah. Yeah, I know Yeah, but I want to be buried with all of it. All right. I want my hair to be... And they say the hair grows in the grave. Right, exactly. So mine will grow more.

Later when they unearth you, you'll have this long, luxurious Fabio hair. It will have changed color. It will be radical. I want to have the long... And huge bushy eyebrows. Yes, and I want my corpse to be unearthed and like paraded through the streets

with like my hair streaming like city blocks. Where the whole, and people can grab. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they put you up in a carriage drawn by horses as if you're driving. Yes! We should do that more. We should be, Americans are,

we're all so afraid of death. Germans, my father-in-law talks, sorry, I'm going over. No, no, you're not, you're fine. My father-in-law talked about visiting, he grew up in a very Catholic small village, and there was a, on their way to school, there was a little old monastery, we could look in the window and there was this skeleton of a monk.

Yeah, yeah. And it was supposed to, you had to see it to be like, he's so pious, he was so committed that he sat in a room and like died for his faith, and now he's like a message, like you'll never be as good as him. But like, that's cool. Uh-huh. We need to be, incorporate that more into our culture.

Well, I, you know, like... And not in a scary way, like people dying in a mass shooting, I'm talking about like, parading our skeletons. Right, right. And it's a very Catholic thing. It's like every saint that dies, it's like, carve him up and like, you get his hand and you get his feet. I think it's, I mean, I think it's, it's kind of, there's something gruesome to it, but there's also something that's like, like it is, yeah. And I, I do think that it stresses

sort of the... Sorry, I'm thinking about my, someone's hair just like going for city blocks. Just flowing and flowing. Yeah. Little children carrying it like a train, like, like the king's, like a king's cape. Yeah. Each holding a plate.

Everyone should have that. Yeah, yeah. Um, well, Kerry, this has been wonderful. This has been a lot of fun. Thanks for having me. I'm so glad you came in and talked to me today. Me too. And you all should listen to,

because it's very funny, Sexy Unique Podcast with Laura Marie Schoenhals, which is a very classy name. It makes you sound like aristocracy. She's from Oklahoma. Oh, nevermind. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But she carries an aristocratic air. Yes. So check that out. It's from Oklahoma. Oh, nevermind. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. She's, but she carries an aristocratic air.

Yes. So check that out. It's very funny and follow, uh, Carrie on Twitter. Yeah. Although I don't know what you're still doing there, people. Um, well, thank you for being here, Carrie, and thank all of you for listening. And I'll be back next week with more of the three questions, unless I'm not. The three questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco production.

It is produced by Sean Doherty and engineered by Rich Garcia. Additional engineering support by Eduardo Perez and Joanna Samuel. Executive produced by Nick Leow, Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Battista, with assistance from Maddie Ogden. Research by Alyssa Grahl. Don't forget to rate and review and subscribe to The Three Questions with Andy Richter wherever you get your podcasts. And do you have a favorite question you always like to ask people?

Let us know in the review section. Can't you tell my love's a-growing? Can't you feel it ain't a-showin'? Oh, you must be a-knowin'. I've got a big, big love. Can't you tell my love's a-growing? Can't you feel it ain't a-showin'? Oh, you must be a-knowin'. I've got a big, big love. Can't you tell my love's a-growing? Can't you feel it ain't a-showin'? Oh, you must be a-knowin'. This has been a Team Coco production.