The Three Questions with Andy Richter - David Cross Returns

Episode Date: April 7, 2026

Comedian and actor David Cross returns to the show to discuss his new stand-up comedy special, working on “Arrested Development” together, the one “Mr. Show” joke that HBO wouldn’t run, the strange world of commercial casting, and much more. Do you want to talk to Andy live on SiriusXM’s Conan O’Brien Radio? Tell us your favorite dinner party story (about anything!) or ask a question - leave a voicemail at 855-266-2604 or fill out our Google Form at BIT.LY/CALLANDYRICHTER. Listen to "The Andy Richter Call-In Show" every Wednesday at 1pm Pacific on SiriusXM's Conan O'Brien Channel. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey, everybody, welcome back to the three questions. I'm your host, Andy Richter, and today I'm talking to my old pal David Cross. His new special, The End of the Beginning of the End, will be released on the 800-pound gorilla YouTube on April 7th. But it's also available right now on official davidcross.com, and so are his upcoming stand-up shows. Here's my conversation with my old friend David Cross. In fairness to them, they had this massive mass. list of stuff they wanted me

to advertise and there was I mean 90 more than 90% I was like I'm not going to do that because they wanted they wanted a to say like a testimonial like I use oh yeah yeah I love you know

no I do it I do it here you know I don't I just said no I'm not gonna I can't do that I can I can talk about it and I can read the copy but yeah I can't say I I've used, you know, I wear these pants all the time. I just, I'm not going to do that.

So there were some that I liked, but not enough. Yeah, yeah. Like nine. I think, I mean, the ones that I do here, I think I actually do. I'm not, yeah, I'm not really lying about anything, you know. I don't have a problem saying your sweaters are nice. Yeah. I just have a problem saying I wear your sweaters all the time.

And I don't, you know, it's whatever. It's my hang up, uh, that I'm honest. Are there any lies that you would tell or that you tell in show business that, you know, like, do you or do you just really, are you really allergic to them across the board? Meaning in what? I don't know. I mean, just like because, well, because you can say like your sweaters are nice, but you might not know the sweaters are nice. You know what I mean? But you won't say I wear the sweaters because that's one step too far.

That's being dishonest. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I suppose I've done it a bunch. I mean, maybe in the copy, I know there was, I was doing a lot for a, for Babbel, the app that and it was like, I have no issue. I can't say, I will not say I use Babel and it's great. Right. But I'll read their copy about, you can learn a language and da-da-da-da.

Isn't that useful and great? And how many times have you wanted, I have no problem with that. Yeah, yeah. It's just, I can't say. I love Omaha steaks. It's the only steak I ate like, well, that's not true. Yeah. Well, do you do, do, uh, I assume we've started.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Do you, uh, do advertising at all? Like, have you ever, like, do you agents put you out for ads? I did, uh, well, V-O, I've done. I was the voice of the caramel M&M for a while. Oh, nice. Sure. And, uh, well, that's an easy one.

I got no issue with. I know. How the fucking be like, oh, the carol M&M, no sense. And, I mean, back in the day, I did one for Coca-Cola, which I used to drink. I grew up in Georgia, so, you know, that's all we drank. Yeah, there. It comes out the tap. Yeah.

And, you know, as a kid, and I know I'm biased, but the idea of Pepsi to me was abhorrent. Like being a kid from Atlanta just like, what? Yeah. And even it worked. That whole thing worked. Like I would drink, you know, take a sip of Pepsi. You're like, what is this cheap wannabe pretender to the throat? Anyway, no, we drink coke all the time.

So I did Coca-Cola. I did something, AOL. I did AOL, Ben Stiller. Yeah, right. And then it went in the toilet. You killed AOL. And gosh, I, you know, some VEO stuff here and there. Yeah, yeah.

Over the years, but never, I don't believe ever on camera, like, doing something. Yeah. Yeah. But again, I have no, if I like the product, I will sell it and be enthusiastic about it, you know. Yeah. But I just, yeah. You know what? I also, too, I, like, when I started.

started in Chicago. I went to film school and then the film sets I worked on were commercials. So very early on, I was like in the advertising, you know, swamp. And also I've always felt like whenever anybody asked me, like if you, you know, if like I hadn't been successful in show business, I, like, I would be in advertising in Chicago because, you know, it's there's people that are paid to write jokes. Right. They're like watered down jokes that are like infuriatingly put through a dumb, dumb filtration system. But it's, you know.

I remember auditioning. I was probably about 16 maybe in Atlanta auditioning for Crystal's hamburgers, which is a chain in the south that is comparable to White Castle. Yeah. The square buns, steamed little guys. and I remember it was my first, is vivid too, experience with going to this, you know,

those, they have them a bunch here in L.A., but the, where you go to a building somewhere like in the valley, and there are, there's a big center area with cushioned seats and circular things to sit on. And then there's like six,

seven, nine doors and inside those doors, those doors lead to rooms, much like this one. Where there's multiple auditions. Yeah. So there's an audition for, you know, PS2, and there's an audition for, you know, jerky, and there's an audition for, you know, fabrics off or whatever. Everybody's milling around. And I went, the first time I ever experienced that, I was in Atlanta.

And again, I was like, I'm guessing 16. And it was for crystals. And I remember the copy to this day. because the tagline was crystals gives you more of what you're hungry for. And I remember, you know, there's like six lines. You're a server or whatever. And this guy who was a little bit older than me, kind of classic, good looks, was standing there for the entire time, staring at the copy.

And I'm talking like 30 minutes. Yeah. Crystles gives you more of what you're hungry for. No, no, no. He's doing this out loud. Crystal, and staring at the copy, Crystals gives you more of what you're. No, no, no.

And it was like, what a weird place to find yourself in life. Oh, my God. And I remember it so vividly because it was my first six years. It was like, this is what? Everybody's milling around, muttering to, crystals gives you more of what you're hungry for. Yeah, it is weird when you start, like where you are exposed. to that desperation early on, you know, because like it's a guy that's like, I'm going to be an actor. I know I'm in Atlanta, but I'm going to do it.

I don't know if it's desperation or confidence. There's a level of, yeah. See, I hear that story and I think this guy is thinking, I got to get this. I got to get everything that I can. Yes, but not with desperation. Yeah. With that's just strategy. Self-assuredness.

I think, yeah, I think there was a. There was a, you, and there were, and again, I've experienced this multiple times since then, but it was my first time experiencing going in and, you know, I'm sure you've experienced this too, where you walk in, you don't know anybody. Yeah, yeah. You know, it took you 10 minutes to park. Oh, God, am I going to be late? Whatever, what's happening?

And then you eventually get to this hallway or this room and there's, you know, 17 people, that look roughly like you. Yes. And there's clusters of different. Clusters. And then somebody will come out of the room. And like old men, you know. And you'll hear the laughter.

Yes. And then people come out and they're all chummy. That was so great, Brian. Thank you. And then they see, they all know each other. Yeah. Donovan. Oh my God.

How are you doing? And that was kind of creepy too. The ecosystem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of that, like, live in that world. Like, everybody knows everybody. And just a little bit of, you know, competition, jealousy, but people are cool. Yeah.

But maybe just cool on the surface. Yeah. It was, again, I experienced that multiple times when I first moved to L.A., but just that first time of, like, oh, this is weird. Yeah. You know? I had, the first commercial audition I was ever at, I was not auditioning. I was there. as an intern for a production company.

And the producer just let me come with. Just, you know, he was very good about, you're here to learn stuff. So I'll expose you to different things. And so he'd let me just come. And I just sat at the table with the director and agency people. And so I got. How old are you?

I was probably, I want to say, 20, 21, something like that. Yeah. Yeah. And so the first weird thing was that I came in and they were auditioning women for some sort of dusting product that was designed primarily for screens, you know, like TV screens and stuff. But multi-purpose. But the first weird thing was the people coming in and just like full-on, like high beams of. Yeah. Hi. Oh my gosh, hi. You know, to me and I'm just sitting there, I'm like, I can't do shit for you. Right. Don't turn that thing on me, you know. And then it was, it was the, the ad was, the concept of the ad was your old, your old dusting product, which was a feather duster. And it's a, it would be a woman holding a feather duster. And then a voice who's saying, so that's your, that's your duster. Can it do this? And then, you know, do TV screens. And then they're supposed to go like, no.

And then a feathers plucked out. Like, and hands come in and pluck out all the feathers. But they just are holding like a stick. They don't even do the feathers. And they have to just hear the copy and react like, you know, be reft that they're fucking. It's called acting. Feather duster is being denuded. And then relieved at the end, well, don't worry about it.

There's, you know, right. You know, dust off or dusty or whatever. And the, that's the real thing. The weirdest thing. You can huff it. It's a, yeah, you can't huff a feather duster. All right, yeah, exactly. Right, right, right.

That's where technology comes in. That's why we've improved as a society. You couldn't get high off a feather duster. You can't ruin your family with a feather duster. But the other really strange thing was, too, is that they're talking to a video camera. But the, and also the men, the dignitaries at the table would look at them, talk to them, and then they would start, and they would all turn like 180 to watch a video monitor rather than look at the person doing it.

I don't know what I was saying? What's on the video monitor? There's a camera recording them, so they are videotaped. The auditions are all videotaped. So they're playing to the camera, but the guys could just look at them and watch them, but they're like, okay, great thanks. And then they all turn their backs to the actor to look at a video. And it was just so weird to me.

I was like, it felt so, like, wrong. And it was, it was like one of those lessons where it's like, if I ever am in a position again to, like, audition people, I'm going to actually look at them rather than just be like, you know, and because there were people like, well, you know, you got to see it on the screen. No, you don't. No, where they're in the fucking room with you. I have two little anecdotes, commercial stuff. and I'm going to mention them right after I mention that my latest special, the end of the beginning of the end. It'll be teased at the top.

Okay. I don't know that. I don't know. I'm telling you that. I'm telling you that. Yeah, she's got a nice belt. But outside of that. He makes sure they get in the top.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I don't have to reinvent the intro. Yeah. So one experience I had, both of these were. Say the special. Oh, the end of the beginning of the end. Yeah.

And it is available right now on my website, official davidcross.com for early access. And then it will be available to everyone. Well, I mean, that's everyone too. But it'll be more widely like YouTube. Let's just go with that. If you're going to insist on a plug, you should really have a little worse.

Yeah, yeah, a little better. Anyway, the end of the beginning. of the end. Yes. And watch it and enjoy it. And just also know that everything I say in there, because there's one particular long story, is 100% true. I think we've established. I don't lie.

I don't lie in my stand. Can't you tell my loves it grow. Commercial audition, specifically early on came to Los Angeles. I came here to write on the Ben Stiller show. And then after that ended, you know, before I. I'd gotten the next stuff. There's a good year and change where I was just doing, you know, going out for everything. Yeah.

Additioning stuff. And I went to this aforementioned one of those big, you know, cattle call things where all the different rooms are. And I don't even know if those exist anymore. Maybe not. I think COVID killed those. Oh. I think now everything is just tape yourself at home. Yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Because there were lots of people in those things. Absolutely. No, that's, I saw the weirdest shit like with like. Everybody knew everybody. Like children auditioning and like weird stage mom shit. That's like, oh, yeah. It was really good people.

Yeah, next to a bunch of people dressed like a pirate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like S&M ladies or whatever, you know, it's like a S&M ladies. Well, that was something different. Grandfather called Dominitrix's. That's something different. Yeah, yeah. That was a different place.

Or no auditions there. But yeah, no, I mean, it was good people watching in those places. Oh, yeah. Sad too. A little sadness. That's what good. people watching is. That's the unspoken part.

Yeah, it's always going to be a little sad. That's like the salt, you know. I truly wish that we could go back as a society in America specifically. We're so polarized now, but I wish we could go back to the time when regardless of whether you were left wing, right wing, whatever, if you were a conspiracy theorist or, you know, whatever, that we, all could agree and come together and enjoy watching somebody trying to parallel park that cannot do it. Remember, we could all gather together and just regardless, you know, black, white, red, yellow, and, you know, MAGA or Democratic Socialists and just all enjoy and point,

like, oh, my God, this is going to try it again. This is fucking, this is insane. And that poor person, That's the worst position to be it. And it's like and with plenty of space. I know, I know. What are you doing? Have you never ever done this before? Well, I hate it when it is a little bit tight and I fuck it up and then I try again. I get it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But big, yeah, too big. When you got plenty of space and you're like literally like creating a perpendicular T and the, yeah, in between the two cars like, no, stop rotating your wheel. I think you can still kind of laugh at them, you know? It's the same thing like. Oh, no, you can individually. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I wish we could come back together as a country. Or the other thing that I think is like, like, I mean, we can do it online, but like in real life, like a funny fall, you know, like somebody slipping and falling. Like, and you're, you know, they're not hurt too bad. Well, how do you know that? Because you, you know, well, you, you, you stifle the laughter and then you see that, you're, you know, there's still life in their eyes and then you let it. Oh, then you're in pain, sure.

Yeah. And, you know, and like you say, what if they have tender bones? You know, that's a disease. Listen, I can't know that for sure. They have TBS. I can't go around assuming what people's bones are. That's my point is that you don't know. You can't assume.

You can't assume they're healthy. I can, no, I assume everyone is healthy. Well, then you are assuming things and you're contradicting. yourself. Yeah, but you're assuming they're not healthy. Um, no, I'm leaving open the possibility that they're not and I'm not going to laugh until they, maybe, maybe. I know if they have TBS or not. My presumptuous nature of people's tender bonedness is my one real flaw. I will admit it. Hardly your only flaw. Please. Listen, you had, you had me on your podcast. You could have listed my flaws then. Well, wait, you were going to tell the audition. Yes.

So I went, so one of them, I don't remember what the product was, but they were like, gave me the copy. And they said, okay, all right, do it. You try it like Woody Allen, not an impression of Woody Allen, but do it, you know, the little, you know, I was like, okay, read it. And then the guy goes, okay, now try it like Frank Sinatra, really swab and da-da-da. Oh, okay, okay, read it. And then he goes, now, now combine the two. I don't, what the fuck? Yeah, like a swab, Woody Allen.

What do you? Or, you know, neurotic Frank Sinatra. Yeah, neurotic Frank Sinatra. I don't know, you know, Jewie, New York. Like that border between Jew and Italian. What the fuck? That was, that was, I remember that. vividly.

And then there was another one where I was reading the copy. I think it was for a PS2, I believe. It was some gaming system. I want to say it was PS2. And the guy's like, so I read the copy and he goes, he's sitting behind the desk. You know, I'm standing. He's sitting. And with a smile, he's like, oh, that was, that was good.

That was funny. funny and they like dramatically over dramatically dropped his smile he's like that was good that was uh funny we don't want funny oh all right

Jesus I'm like 23 I don't know what I'm like I thought that's why I was here How dare you not know exactly what they want But in like he was auditioning for the role of a shitty casting

commercial casting guy because it was So poorly, it was like, hey, yeah, you know, kind of a fake smile. Yeah, yeah. So it's funny, it's funny. We don't want funny. Okay. I once read, there was, I read for Ivan Reitman, the late Ivan Reitman, whom I had never met, I don't think I had ever met him. But I read for, it was a movie called my super ex-girlfriend.

Yes, I think I recall. Yeah. And it was the only thing, the one thing that was. great about that. And I never saw it. But there was a scene where like a guy has a one night stand with a superwoman, basically. Yeah. And then she becomes obsessed with him. So it's like, you know, obsessive stalker woman. But she's got superpowers. But she's got superpowers. And so he starts falling in love with someone else. And he's in a high-rise apartment. And he's with the person. And they finally kiss. And then you cut to outside the super girl.

is watching them angrily, and I think it was Uma Thurman, watching them angrily and then flies away, and then you cut back to them in there. I think they might have been fucking or they're in bed, and a shark gets tossed through the window. Like a huge, like great white shark gets like, smashes through the window and is flopping around the house. I was like, oh, that's fantastic.

That's a funny idea. That's great. And that's the scene that they wrote the entire movie around. Oh, absolutely. They came up with that TV. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I mean, yeah, okay. I mean, that movie didn't set the world. But anyway, I read for him and it was like, you know, like the friend or something, you know, like that, like one of those parts. And it was, it was not well written. And it was very, and the way it was all kind of put together was like, you know, he's a nebushy nerd or something like that. And so I did what I felt was appropriate with this with the thing. And I read the first time. And it was just him and me sitting across from each other. And I feel. And I feel. finished and he acted like he was more exhausted than he'd ever been in his life after my first read he went okay um let's do it again but just don't do that comedy thing that you're doing

well that's like oh that must have made you feel two inches yeah yeah i was like okay and what did you do did i read it again try it but flatter i guess but i I mean, I did feel. I was just kind of like comedy, you know, it's like saying, like saying, well, Robert De Niro should be in this Benny Hill sketch. You know, it's like, what do you, the way it's fucking written is like, waka, waka, honk, hunk, hunk, and you're saying like. And it's a classic archetype that we've seen a million times.

Yeah, yeah, neb is she best friend, you know, but no, he was fucking pissed. I, what really bothers me about that is, you know, I've been on the other. side of the casting tape. I've cast a million things. And there's a way to try to draw out the best of that person. There's a reason they're there. People have agreed, yourself included, let's check this person out. And to make that person feel shitty or even, and look, 25% of the people I've read for

different projects are terrible and not right. Yeah. But you still give them the basic human decency. The decency to go, okay, and let's try it again. Yeah. And try to steer them. And, you know, you don't want to waste anybody's time. But, you know, just to do that like, listen, dude, don't do comedy.

Yeah, yeah. You know, or that attitude. For a comedy, a movie about a fucking superhero girlfriend, you know. Fuck that. I hate that. Yeah. It's so unnecessary. Yeah.

And. Well, some people just don't seem to have time to be concerned about other people. They're just shitty people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, I mean, I don't, you know, I don't know him or whatever. But, but, yeah, it certainly was not, you know, it didn't warrant the drive and the, like, what should I wear and do sort of capture what the character is. That's another thing. They, that, you went all the way out there to their office.

Yeah. And just be decent. I know. I know. Yeah, no, you got it. And it is like, and I also, too, that with auditioning, and this is what I hate about. self-tapping now is, you know, there's 10 different ways to do anything. Yes, I have a real, and I will always write this in the body of the email I send when I'm putting

myself on tape for VO. Yeah. And they want two takes. And I'm like, I can take direction. I've done a ton of VO. Yeah. And that's one of my strengths. I have different voices, different characters.

Yeah. And if these two things aren't doing it, please, let's. Let me know. Yes. Give me a note. Give me a note. Yeah. And if you're in the room or doing it on Zoom or something.

Right. With people, then you can say that and they can say, well, we think, it feels like you're trying too hard. Like, okay, I know what you're saying. Right. You know, and just, other than just submitting the thing. Yeah. That's what I got. You read it and it's like, you choose to make the guy confident.

And then they go like, no, this guy isn't so confident. You don't know that until you're there. And then you get one note of adjustment. It isn't, you know, don't do that comedy thing, you know, for this comedy. But anyhow, can't you tell my loves it grows? How is it doing specials these days? I mean, do you, I've had a lot of stand-ups here. And to me, sometimes it just sounds like it's this.

They, and it's different people view it different ways, but that there's always this never-ending sort of like, I'm always working towards the next thing. and then there's got to be the next thing, and then there's got to be the next. You know, the next, I'm working on this hour, and then when that hour's done, I've got to move on to the next hour, just this kind of voracious appetite for hours

that the world has that comedians feel like they're feeding. Do you feel like you're in that same kind of cycle in any way? Not at all. I mean, I do that. I finish a tour, get the special out, and I want to get more material to do the next tour, which will result in the next special. But that's because I fucking love it.

Yeah. I love doing stand-up. Going out in the road is hard, and it's all the, you know, cliches are true. Especially with a child, you know. Yeah, just the travel is awful. But as I can't remember who the comics said, but the comic was, but, you know, you're not, you're not paying me for this hour. You're paying me to get here and travel here. And I feel the same way because I, it's.

I fucking love doing stand-up. Yeah. Love shooting a special. Love putting it together. Very proud of most of them, you know. And so that is, in no way do I feel pressure or, and I'll do it until I physically or mentally can't do it anymore. I love it. Is it your favorite thing?

Because you do, you know, you write and you direct and you act and, you know, and you're very good at all of them. Well, thank you. They're all, they all have, you know, pros and cons to them. And I, and I love all the doing that stuff. But the thing that I couldn't live without, I'm exaggerating. But the thing that I would, if I had to take all of them away except one thing, it would be stand-up is the thing that I would do. And the thing that it feels like a need. I don't feel a need to go act in something.

dramatic or comic i enjoy it i'm happy to have that uh opportunity and i'll and i'll seek them out but if i never did it again i wouldn't wouldn't really bother me if i never wrote well that's not going to happen i'll still write but you know the things those things are outside of my control yeah um but stand-up is a thing i've been doing since i was 17 and i really enjoy it and uh um the only thing that feels like a real craving, a need. Yeah. I want to talk about Mr. Show because it's... All right, you are like the ninth person who's brought that up,

and I have to say I don't know what you're talking about. Mr. Show? Yeah. It was a show that you and Bob... Do you remember Bob Odenkirk? Yeah, of course. I just had lunch with him yesterday. So, but you and he had a show...

Are you talking about Mrs. Howe? Oh my God. I fucking walked right in that. Oh, that's hilarious. Never been done. Mrs. Howe. We were always annoyed. So furious.

Nobody got it. This is, it's from a female's perspective. I was curious. No, but it's such, I mean, it's such a, you know, I'm sure that people still, it's such a highly regarded show and with good reason and was so funny and it's so rewatchable you know there's a lot of stuff like that i rewatch that i really loved when i was younger that's like like i like i tried to show my kids sctv and a lot of sctv is fantastic but a lot of it is like incredibly slow like i don't know what happened to our attention spans you know

but well i do know they became very shortened but um but like mr show is always fucking great. And I, it makes me think, because I think about like back to late night with Conan O'Brien, and I don't feel like I appreciated it as much as I should have while I was in it. And why is that? Because it was life and because, you know, and because it was work and it was work. And you don't, you're inside of it. You don't have that kind of perspective of it from the outside. And also, also too it's it's it's unfair to the your old self because you haven't had the time and wisdom to like appreciate and to have other things happen where it's like because i mean that was my first kind of bigish well i mean i had done a couple of things i did the movie cabin boy before i did conan

but that was like my first tv my father-in-law was in that oh yeah yeah i know yeah he was uh chucky the shark boy Yeah, yeah. I only met him momentarily on the set one day. Yeah, yeah. He still talks poorly of you. Man, whatever. Whatever. He's a, he had a fucking Finn.

It's important to remember the, with both Conan and Mr. Show. Culturally, there weren't things quite like that. And there, and there were plenty of, talk shows and uh but that's got shows and sketch shows but those two things kind of changed and altered the landscape a little bit yeah yeah um and when you're in the middle of it it's hard to appreciate the idea and and as you would later on the context of culturally the context of where those things fit in yeah and did you did you know did you know at the time did you feel like

it was important uh no I don't think important, but we knew it was good. It was, I mean, when Bob and I first started writing stuff together for these little stage shows we were doing, we knew they were good sketches and we also knew. And we'd come to know each other very well at this point. But back then, we were navigating friendship and who each other was and personalities and stuff. but we both, even though we came at it from very different experiences, both like pretty immediately knew this is the show we want to do. And I think Bob, well, I know Bob coming from the S&L world,

just wanted to do the opposite. And all the restrictions and the psychological manipulations that go on there, he wanted to be free of that. And I, you know, coming from a different world, but still we connected and we're like, this is what we want to, you know, we want to evolve Python. Yeah. And we had the, you know, the same things were important to us or not important. We, you know, with a finite amount of budget, we're like, we don't care about the set. I don't want the set.

Don't spend any money on the set. Nobody cares if it looks like a real Victorian, you know. know, ante room. Nobody gives you shit. And don't spend money there, spend it on this. And this shouldn't look good. It takes away from the comedy. And so, you know, that was important to us.

And that's, that we knew, I wouldn't say we ever felt like what we're doing is important, but we knew it was special and different and fun. That's the other thing. Yeah, yeah. We're having fun. And I, you know, respect Bob. respects me and if we're making each other laugh hey I'm good with that yeah I know it's good I don't need to go and run it by a bunch of different people was it fairly easy to get that show

out in terms of like outside pressure to change it or make it you know it was very easy we we literally got uh I think two notes from HBO that we didn't like yeah um and had to change things. In four years, two notes. And they, when we went first had the meeting and we were lucky enough to be, to have Bernie Brillstein, the late Bernie Brillstein, who is just, you know, the greatest guy. I fucking loved him. I miss him. I so, I think about this all the time. He loved you guys too. I remember I overheard him talking about you guys one time. He was just, like the grandfather I never had. And I really, and I think about it,

and I told my wife, like, I so wish you could have gotten to meet him. He would have loved you. He would have fucking loved Amber. And she would have loved him. He was just the greatest. And what was my point? I got a little.

I asked you if it was hard to get the show out. Oh, so in the original meeting, they were saying, and it's easy for them to say it because they didn't give us much money at all. Yeah. But they're like, we don't want you to do something that would be on TV. Yeah. We want this.

We're trying to make a name for ourselves as HBO, and we want it. You guys do what you do. We're here for a reason. We want you to do this show. We want it to be out there and different. Yeah. And literally got two notes that we had a, when we were doing a montage in season one,

first show of Ronnie Dobbs, we did this scene live that they made us cut. But then we put little stills in, and then Bob as Terry Twilstein did a VO, like, you know, explaining what happened in the scene. The whole, it's 20 seconds long. It's just pictures of me running around the desk in a scene that HBO felt wasn't funny enough for you to see.

And they let us do that. And then another, I want to say, second series maybe, or second season was where we were playing. It was the cold open, or not the cold open, but the opening live introduction. And I can't remember the thread or the, theme, but we were playing versions of our fathers and why we were, why we became comics because our fathers were shitty to us. And I'm standing there inexplicably, it's all 20s.

Like I have a raccoon coat and a big curly handlebar mustache and a pendant or banner that says 23 Skidoo. And Mary Lynn is there, Rice Cub is there as a flapper and has a, uh, plastic baby that's supposed to be me me. Yeah, yeah. And I'm going, and goch-cuch-c-goo, look at a little David. And then she's like, you care more about this baby than you do me. And I was like, no, look at that, look at that little. And she throws the clearly plastic baby down and says, fuck the, fuck this baby.

And that was the other thing that they said, you cannot do that. Throw a plastic baby down. And, and, and we said, okay. And that was it in four years. Yeah. I don't know if you've probably been asked this before, but like did Bob's like transformation from sketch comedy writer guy into, you know, Emmy level actor star of like an incredibly complicated drama? Was that was that surprising to you? Not at all.

Not the fact that he could do it. I'm glad he got the opportunity. but I've said this before. There is a sketch called prenatal pageants about a, it was back when there's that whole thing of baby pageants or reality TV shows.

And it was just awful. Terrible world with terrible, you know, moms and dads and these poor girls that are getting glammed up with all this makeup. They're six years old. And an industry and being horrified. Making money off of being horrified by them, yeah.

And yeah, and then there's the, so there's that thing itself. Then there's the reality shows about that thing. And then the competition within the reality TV world of that, of, of, of, child pageants. Of the, now they got two things. They want their kid to, you know, win first place. And then they want to be, they want to get famous from the TV show. Yeah, yeah. awful, very American.

And so we did a lot of Mr. Show sketches were like, let's, without consciously thinking about it, it's like, let's take this awful thing and follow it to its logical yet absurd conclusion. Right. So that's where this sketch came from. It's called prenatal pageants. It's about a doctor who does plastic surgery to fetuses

and applies makeup on them. And then you see the ultrasound with like cowboy hat, you know, and little denim cut off jeans and too much makeup on the and that's the they judge it you know yeah yeah yeah judge it it's prenatal pageants and bob and jill jill tally uh and bob play the parents very kind of trailer home parents of this girl of because uh they've ignored the their daughter five but now they got a new fetus that they're putting out there so it's their No, no, it's yet another kid. So it's Jill.

Oh, it's Jill is pregnant. It's pregnant. I got you. Okay. And then, you know, Bob is working three jobs to put him through this and, you know, to pay for all the cost of stuff. Yeah. And it's really good acting. Yeah.

It's very comic. But, and I remember that that was the first time. I was like, he's a really good actor. You believe this guy. Yeah. It's a comic. It's broad comedy sketch. Sure.

And you'd feel for this guy. He's really, it's really sad, totally believable. Yeah. And I also remember that year for the Emmys, they had outstanding comedy performance. And I remember Bob not getting, you know, submitting that. and going like, this is great. Because it was. And there were all, you know, other things that happened with the show.

But that in particular is Bob's shows how good an actor he is or could be. Yeah. And the winner that year, I'll never, I remember this because I'm so fucking angry and cynical and jaded about, you know, awards bullshit. Yeah, yeah. It was Dennis Miller for his talk show was the best comedy performance where he did. There's nothing against Dennis Miller at all. It's against people who voted for that as the best comedy acting performance. Right.

For doing a monologue up front and then talking with people. Yeah. And then doing photos funnies. Being Dennis Miller. And this and that like that's the same. single best comedy performance that year. I know. And, you know, Bob didn't even get nominated and should have been.

But, uh, so that's a long way of saying I clearly saw the potential. Yeah. And I've always been, it's always rubbed me the wrong way when people are, uh, they do it less now. But, uh, when people are like, wow, Robin Williams can really act. Huh. Yeah. Oh, Jim Carrey's pretty good.

Yeah, yeah. Like the idea that a community. comedian wouldn't be able to access real feelings and pathos that human beings have in situations and be able to convey that on film is the fact that so many people are that ignorant, even people within the industry. Yeah. Huh. I think that whenever I hear that kind of thing, and I mean, and I did feel, like, I feel as I

watched Bob, I watched him learn how to be a better actor as it went through breaking bad and then into better call Saul. And I feel like I have heard him say that, that like it was on the job training. And I know from when I've been acting regularly, I feel like I get better. Like I don't when I have to go in and do one day. Yeah, yeah. Make make you better. Absolutely.

But I always wonder, too, if that sort of can the comedy guy be because when I was on dancing with the stars, the segment producer, if there was. if we had to do an emotional kind of dance. He would say, like, you're a comedy guy. You can't rely on your comedy chops. You've got to portray real emotion. And like the third time he said that, I was like, am I a fucking clown? Like, what the fuck?

What do you mean? It's just to God. Yeah, it's like sentimental. And yeah, but it's just a dance. Take it easy. Now, when you were on the show, did they have to, did they feel an obligation to change the name from dancing with the stars? Why would you do that?

Is it just because you got your plug-in and you know we're near the end? You motherfucker. You motherfucker. How dare you? It was sitting there. It was just sitting there. I couldn't. Look, I didn't know, but when they said they hired me, I knew I am a star.

They finally, finally I could say, I called my mom. I'm a star. Tears straight. No, but I think sometimes when they say things about, like, oh, comedy, being a good actor, is because if you go the reverse, it almost never works. That's absolutely true. You know what I mean? I was, I did the show in the UK and. Todd Margaret?

No, Bliss. Oh, okay. Yeah. And. Because I love Todd Margaret. Oh, thank you. Yeah, yeah. Um, it was, uh, it was comedy, but much more serious.

It's about a guy who has, uh, two different families who don't know about each other on either side of Bristol, um, in England. And, you know, the casting process was, was long and hard. And it was, uh, and they, they were, I, I knew who I wanted as the lead. Yeah. And it's really difficult. a difficult thing to have to navigate. Yeah. Especially because you're, because of the way we're shooting, like block shooting. So we were in a location for a week that acted as both of their houses. We would rearrange things as he, there's a storyline to why they're kind of similar,

the wayouts. And he's got to go from this family to that family, like within shooting different things and different days. And it's really fucking hard. And they, I'm not going to name any names, but they kept sending me either people on tape or to read in person these dramatic actors. And there's some good, you know, really good actors that I admire. And you could see them trying to be funny. Yeah.

And you can see it and you could feel it. Yeah. And I was really adam. I was like, I know. I had it down. to a handful people that were comic actors. Yeah. And they were like, no, we want to get this guy, this person, because they'll, you know,

Sky wants them, you know, because they're in this big thing. And none of them. You see them trying to be funny, and it doesn't work. But when you get the funny guy who's trying to be serious, that works. Yeah. And we've eventually cast Steve Mangum and Mangan, and he's so good. I mean beyond, just exceptional. Again, it's a fucking hard part.

Yeah. Because all the shit's happening and he's got two different kids and how much do you know here and how much do you have to guess if they know and what does that mean? Yeah. It's really tricky. And, you know, along with like some physical things at moments. And yeah, I knew from the beginning, you know, it's going to have to be a comedian. A comedy person.

And it just goes another example of like, we'll get the dramatic guy. Yeah. Let him be. It doesn't work. Barry Sonnenfeld has been on this show a couple times. And he told the most amazing story about. I love Barry. I've worked with him a bunch.

Fucking best. Yeah. But he told about Tommy Lee Jones, first day on men in black. Like he said, like they do. And, you know, he's like, this is Tommy Lee. I don't know if they'd work together before, but he's like, yeah, we want Tommy Lee Jones this thing. And he said in the first scene, he ended up going like stopping it and going like, what are you doing? Because Tommy Lee Jones was trying to be funny.

And, you know, he finally had to like, it said it took some convincing like, no, just be Tommy Lee Jones. That's funny enough. Like, you know, but I can't even imagine. I would love to see what Tommy Lee Jones trying to be funny in men in black was like. I can't imagine. I know. I can't imagine Tommy Lee Jones being funny. I know.

Like offset. I don't think he was. I don't think that was the point. It was just odd. Where's the cranky guy? Exactly. Where's surly boy? Well, I think, no, I do want to ask.

I do want to ask, I mean, we're near the end here and I don't want to keep you too long. Are we at the end of the beginning of the end? Oh, boy. That is smooth. Yeah. I mean, the insult you gave me later earlier was smooth. This is pretty smooth. It's the end of the beginning at the end.

Oh, you mean the one that's going to be on 800-pound gorilla on YouTube on April 7th? Yes. Yeah, yeah. It's very funny from what I hear. But it's quite good. Yeah. It's available for early access at official davidcross.com. I don't want to send people to your website.

Okay. It's too personal. That's fine. It's too intimate. It's just pictures of me working out. No, I wanted to ask because you and I were both in a rest of development together. And I mean, and what is your relationship with the sort of the memory of that show? Because it did end.

I mean, I was in, and I'll say it, the last couple seasons were fucking insane to work on. Oh, yeah. And it was always a little insane. I haven't pulled any punches with that. Yeah. And I try to be diplomatic. But the, yes, it was always kind of crazy. crazy.

Yeah. You're shooting things and you're referring things to you don't even know what you're talking about. Yes. Yeah, yeah. And often, specifically with the first three seasons, I'd be on set for a joke or a reference that I would not get. And I would only, and this, I got to say, like, 50 examples of this where I didn't understand that the joke or that it even was a joke until I was on the internet and the threads. Yeah, and they would, people who like really watched it in a way that I didn't watch it were, uh, very closely like linking things going, oh, that's why this happened when George Michael says this and, you know, season two to episode four. And I, things I never made that connection.

Right. Right. Right. Only because people, uh, uh, were sleuths. Yeah. We're finding that stuff. And, um, the, it was crazy and, and sometimes it wasn't great. the craziness, the scheduling. But I

overall, it was a fucking treat and I did know early on that it was special. We were shooting the pilot. I was only going to be on at my insistence part time because I had just moved to New York a year before

and it took me nine and a half years being in L.A. to finally get to New York where I live now and I just always wanted to put roots down there and have a family and all that. Was that the time that you hired an old musician to drive all your stuff and he went missing for two weeks? Yes. How do you know that?

Because I, me and H. John. Yeah, yeah. John was there. John Benjamin and I came to your apartment and I think it was, no, you were packing. You were loading up the truck and you're like, I'm moving. And you were saying, like, you know, I hired this guy who was in a band and a band that was like a kind of a favorite band in Boston. And he needs some money. And so I hired him to drive my stuff.

And we got in the car. And I said to John, I was like, he's a grownup. Why doesn't he hire some fucking movers? And then I hear like a week later, he's missing with your truck full of your belongings. It was John said, because John went to Dennis's apartment where we dropped off the, I think John took his car. I drove the U-Haul over there. And I think it was just a van, too. It might not have even.

I don't remember exactly. I didn't have a whole lot of stuff. But regardless, you know, we go into, give them the keys. and it's like, you know, the shower is filled with plates and, you know, like dirty dishes and that kind of thing. And Dennis was a good friend. I fucking loved him. He was a good guy, really good guy, but a fuck up, you know, a real kind of classic. We have multiple friends like that.

Absolutely. Super nice guy, sweet guy, but just kind of a... Many of them bands. Yeah, yeah. And I'd known him for a long time. time too. And we got in the car and John, who's not often the voice of reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah. John Benjamin, he's like, there's no fucking way, dude. He's, this is not going to go. It's fine. He needs money, blah, blah, blah. So even, even so, yes, he gets, he kind of disappears for a while because

I don't remember the exact details, but I think he was in, in Indianapolis, staying with some people. and then left there and realized he had forgotten his wallet like five states away and had to go back. And this is pre-cell phone. So it's like calling on pay phones. Like, Dennis, what the fuck? I'm in New York, ready to move into the apartment. Yeah, waiting there at an empty apartment. And then I get, I have a schedule.

I have like, I remember I think I had to do the show at St. Louis University in Missouri. Yeah. And, like, you know, the day he's supposed to arrive, not there. Day he's supposed to arrive, the next day, the next day. And I had to leave. Yeah, yeah. He pulls up and fucking, God bless him. Sam Cedar, if you know Sam.

I know Sam. And a friend of mine who, a bartender, Jay at 7B, he pulled up and, like, out of the fucking goodness of their hearts, went and unloaded that. Dennis and Jay and Sam with like a big TV and a count in a like it was like from the 1870s, you know, three story walk up. Yeah, yeah, narrow everything. Really narrow. Yeah. And they brought on a fucking summer day and they brought all this shit up there and God bless him.

Because you were out of town. I was out of town. I was out of town. I'm like, he were supposed to be here a week ago. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, you're sleeping on a sleeping bag. It's like, fucking. And then he wasn't even there. He wasn't around when I got back.

because I had like a couple shows. Right. And he went on to like, you know, back to Boston with an ex-girlfriend or some shit. Right. But yeah, he was just like what you left your wallet. What are you talking about? You didn't realize that. You're in Maryland.

Past the age 14. Yeah, yeah. But that's Dennis. Do you, uh, did you hire regular movers then from that point on? Uh, you, no. Uh, well, the next. the next move was these are small apartments yeah yeah i know i know the next move was to third and a i see where i was for uh 10 plus years right right um that was an easy move yeah it was literally down

i was on seventh between c and d and i was moving to third night so that was an easy one um and i think that was just like a man with a van thing yeah pull down and uh um and again i didn't have a whole lot of stuff right i still don't my wife wife on the other hand. But then from that point on, yes, I did use moving. Yeah, yeah. You know, yeah. Yeah, because I just was, when he told me, I just, like I say, I was in the car.

It's like, because when you were telling me at your apartment, I was just like, what? Yeah, I know. I know. I mean, it's, it's, it's, you have a good heart and, you know, and you let your heart lead. Right. You know, in that situation. I certainly wouldn't have been anticipated. Right.

Again, it was pre-cell phone, so it's like, I can't get in touch with a payphone in Nebraska hoping you're going to drive by and stop. You know, he has to call me. Right. You know, like, dude, where are you? What's going on? And then at the end of that conversation, you know, and he's checking in along the way, it's like, you know, you got to, you know, I got to be at home. There's answering machines, of course. but having an actual conversation with this guy is you just roll the dice,

cross your fingers, hope he gets there. Don't get too attached to your stuff. It's been three days. But I know, I know, you know, easily that he's not going to do anything. He's not going to rip me off. He's not going to do anything underhanded. Yeah, yeah. So I knew that.

But yeah, I remember John just being like pulling away from that apartment where I gave him the keys to the truck. And he's like, no, no way. You're crazy. It'll be fine. It's, you know Dennis. He knew Dennis too. Oh, the end of the beginning of the end.

You can go to official davidcross.com and watch it right now. You know? Sure. Why not? I mean, you've got, you just got a lot of David Cross, but it's probably just left you wanting more. Yeah. But there's on my site you can access almost all my other specials.

So you can do that too. Nice. Good stuff. But it's also, it's going to be if you, if you again feel that going to official david. Cross or Jesus Christ, that is my middle. If you feel that it's going to official Davidcross.com is too intimate. You can wait until April 7th when it will be on YouTube. the 800-pound gorilla feed.

But also that would, does that one have ads? I wonder. I don't know. How would I know? I don't, why, I don't go to YouTube. I don't go to YouTube. I don't even listen to podcasts. Yeah, it's people.

I know, I don't really. I know. Yeah, yeah. I just do them. Well, David, it was great to see it. You too. You too. I love talking to you.

And it's always so much fun. And you're one of the good ones too. Am I? Yeah, you're, you're a, good there's you know a small cadre of uh yeah of decent people in hollywood yeah one of them yeah no it's i i yeah it's it's and john benjamin's one too i mean now since we're just talking about yeah people who it matters yeah to be nice they're ethical and they're uh yeah yeah yeah all right well i love you david and i love all of you for listening and uh you uh you

You didn't say it back, but that's fine. I know you only do true. I'm sorry. I love all of you for listening as well. No, you son of it. All right. Quinn, I love your belt. Bye.

The three questions with Andy Richter is a team cocoa production. It is produced by Sean Doherty and engineered by Rich Garcia. Additional engineering support by Eduardo Perez and Joanna Samuel. Executive produced by Nick Leow, Adam Sacks, and Jeff Ross. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Battista, with assistance from Maddie Ogden. Research by Alyssa Graal. Don't forget to rate and review and subscribe to the three questions with Andy Richter wherever you get your podcasts.

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