The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Deon Cole

Episode Date: March 31, 2020

Actor, comedian, and screenwriter Deon Cole talks with Andy Richter about getting onstage for the first time (for 50 dollars), his leathermaking side business, and how sticking it out as the first black writer on Conan led him to work on Angie Tribeca and Black-ish. Plus, Deon discusses plans to expand his fanbase.

Hello, Three Questioners. I am here today with a dear sweetheart in my life, Mr. Dion Cole, an old friend, an old comrade. Yes. Road companion. How you doing? I'm good, bro. How you doing? I'm doing well, yeah. That's good.

Thanks for having me. No, no problem. Yeah. You and I got to know each other on the tour when we, between the Tonight Show and the TBS show. TBS show, yeah. You came and did warm-up for us. Yeah, sure did. And we got to travel together.

Yeah, we got to rock, man. Yeah. We did, we hit the road for, how long is that? Like about? It was like three months. Three months? It felt longer. Yeah, two or three months.

It felt longer, but, you know. Yeah, it was great. Yeah, it made me realize like I can't do the road uh huh you know like waking up I'm

like just so many waking up in a hotel room in the dark and being like where's the fucking bathroom I don't remember where the bathroom

like that's a closet you know I used to be so smashed on that on that on that road cause I used to come out I used to come so smashed on that road. Because I used to come, the show would go, and then towards the end of the show,

I would do like 10 minutes of stand-up towards the end of it. And then we'd close the show out and it'd be done. Every time, right after I was done, I had a drink in my hand. Yeah, see, that's what I felt done. I had a drink in my hand. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, see, that's what I felt, too. Like, if I had to be on the road much, I would, you know, I'd be 350 pounds and a fucking alcoholic. So it'd be so bad. Because that's also, too, life on the road.

You can't eat healthy. No, you can't. It's really hard. No, you can't. Everything that you can get that's quick and easy is garbage. The only way that I diet is like, especially when I come to doing comedy shows, I will stay in the hotel room until the show.

Yeah. And then I'll eat at the show. Right. I wouldn't eat the rest of the day. Oh, wow. I would just stay in my room and just starve, man. Really? Until I get to the show.

But then the problem is when i got to the show i ate the whole left side of the menu yeah yeah yeah because i didn't eat all day long right right so it kind of um i mean uh the messes up with the diet that i was trying to right right well you yeah well you you uh you pioneered intermittent intermittent fasting and that you know i was the first it does kind of make sense though like you think about you know probably the way that a lot of uh you know primitive humans ate was oh we killed a deer yeah and then they get really full and they didn't eat for two days maybe some roots and berries in between right right you know so that's what's up man well now you like me

you're from the chicago area but you're from chicago specifically yes yes yeah and uh you were born you were born in chicago yeah born and raised yeah still there you go back there i haven't been back in a while i'm i'm my daughter and i were supposed to go back in a few weeks but i don't know if we're gonna you, you know. Oh, shit, man. I don't know when this is going to air, but we're in the midst of the coronavirus. And now it seems like, because I was kind of like, eh, can we still do that? And every day it just seems more and more irresponsible to get into a plane, you know. I have a friend who told me that they had a friend that flew.

And they said that it was like 15 people on the plane, and the plane was super clean. Yeah. Like 15 people on the plane. Yeah, they're apparently going in and wiping down everything. It does seem kind of like in some way, like it is the time to go get on a plane or go to Disneyland. They said it's wide open. Yeah, yeah. Like wide open. I've seen pictures, yeah. Like, wide open.

I've seen pictures, yeah. Yeah. But I still don't know. I just feel like, you know. I'm nervous, too. Like, a lot of my shows, they have been postponed. Really? Yeah, they've been postponed.

So you're in town for a while? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because my first stop was Seattle. Oh, wow. First stop was Seattle. And people still, like, sending me, like, DMs and stuff. They were sitting up like, you still coming?

I'm like, you watching the news, motherfucker? No, I'm not coming out there. No, no, no. No, not right now. You come here. You know what? In fact, don't come here. If you come here, wear a mask.

Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. I might go live and do some jokes, but I'm not coming there. Yeah. So tell me, what kind of kid were you when you were, because, you know, this show is kind of, we sort of start at the beginning and go through everything. What kind of kid were you? Were you a funny kid?

Man, very, I had a big imagination. Yeah. That's what I had, because I grew up as the only child. So I had like a huge- Oh, really? You don't have any siblings at all i do i found out later i had a sister and i had like a play sister coming up somebody that just kind of grew up with me but biologically no just yeah well i have i have one

that was like a half sister but i met her when i was like in my 30s oh so yeah yeah so like now it's just like i mean me growing up i grew up as the only child so yeah it was just me television toys those were like that was everything that was your world that was everything even not even going outside really like i went outside and played and had a good time but my world in home and in, in my bedroom, that was everything. Yeah, yeah. And TV, too. Yeah, I was the same way.

I had an older brother that would always be like, come on, let's go outside and throw a ball. And I'd be like, why the fuck would I do that? Partridge family's on. Johnny Sacco and his magic robot or whatever the fuck was on channel 44 right that's how i was man i used to be like no i'm just gonna stay in and shit man no i just i'd rather stay in yeah play with toys and shit yeah so it's at school were you were you like a well-behaved kid or were you a smart ass yeah no i was like basically a good b student yeah bc student just going with the flow not bothering nobody not super excellent not dumb yeah yeah right right basic middle guy yeah stayed out everybody's way you know just real fucking chill man

I never was cause I was always an introvert in a sense because I would rather go watch TV and chill like I never really wanted to be like that guy or nothing like that you know but I always had these

I always had a certain way of thinking and didn't think nobody thought like i did so i really stayed to myself were your folks aware of that like did they try and change you in any way or did they no because it was just me and my mom's man my mom was always trying to find a job oh i was trying to work she always was like man i gotta get i gotta get the job i gotta take care of me and you and yeah she just always was at work when she did get a job it'd be weird hours and she just worked really you know less than par jobs yeah like working at like chicken restaurants and currency exchange and even though currency exchange is a good job that she held us down with

uh over time but everything else was just like she was getting what she can get yeah temporary stuff yeah absolutely do you now where did you have that imagination before she was kind of yeah out or yeah well that's good i mean you know yeah because it was like i said it was just me and like because you got your own built-in babysitter then. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. That's exactly what it was. Yeah. So when she did, even when she had decent jobs,

she would be at work a lot. So it would just be me. Even when people babysat me, I really didn't spend too much time with them because I just wanted to be in my room with my fucking Evel Knievel and shit. Yeah. Spider-Man and, you know, that kind of shit.

Hot wheel cars. But they were, like, in real situations. Like, that was the way. Like, I wouldn't play, like, having them fly and shit. They would be, like, you know, in meetings. You know, just yeah the bus broke down someone needs to find a spare tire relationship problems it was like like i played why won't you open up to me spider-man you're so closed off what's wrong like yeah it used to be wild man yeah so yeah that's the kind of guy i was man i used to i

remember i had and this is when i was like five six years i had like elaborate an elaborate fantasy relationship with speed racer from the cartoon and it was always like there's been a crash speed you know speeds you know and i'm you know laying in bed thinking, there's been a crash. You know, speeds, you know, and I'm laying in bed thinking like, there's been a crash. Someone needs to save speed. I've got to get over there on my helicopter. Not that I was Trixie, you know, because Trixie drove the helicopter. Right, right, right.

Maybe I want to be Trixie. Maybe that's been my secret all along. I just want to be Trixie. Speed racer was another one man i used to love speed racer man it's so weird all those japanese cartoons like because at the time you didn't realize it was japanese you're just like this shit is fucking weird goldar remember like this used to be that johnny socket i think johnny sacco. Yeah, and the giant robot. With the whistle and the giant robot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there was some other one.

There was some other, oh, Ultraman. Ultraman. Ultraman was on there, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All that shit. It's like, oh, wow. And then also, I love Japanese movies. The Gamera movies as a kid were really cool.

Yeah, yeah, man. So when do you start being funny at school? I mean, is it at school that you start being funny? Does your mom think you're funny? Does she encourage it? Now she does, but she still don't. My mother's, like, hilarious. My mother was always vocal, funny.

She was always the center of attention. Yeah, yeah. You know, she was, like, that kind of lady. But not me. I never was, like, that person. You think she was, like, taking up all the oxygen, sort of? I just used to just watch her. I used to just be like, I used to love watching her.

She used to do this thing when I was a kid where if a commercial came on and somebody would be like, hello, are you tired of reading that night? She'd be like, I am. And then she'd be like, are you tired of this? night she'd be like i am and then she'd be like are you tired of this she'd be like i actually am yeah yeah i don't know why i used to crack my shit up right she used to do that shit all the time she would talk back to the commercials that's a good bit oh used to be so funny man and i used to just laugh she was just really funny like that. And so me, I wasn't. I was more like just to myself and having thoughts to myself.

Yeah. I was always like kind of like just not wanting to disappoint. Yeah. So didn't know if this was wrong to say or not. But then when I became a teenager, I became like I became more vocal, but still not in a boisterous way. I wasn't just, hey, hey. Like, you had to

know me in order to hear me. So, like, if you was my friend, like, something might happen and everybody would be busting up laughing and shit, and my friend would be laughing. If somebody tripped and fell, everybody would laugh and shit. And I would, like, lean to my friend and be like, I wonder why did they fall? You know, like, they didn't see that big-ass chair right there.

Like, I saw it. Didn't you see it? You saw it too, right? So if we walked around in a chair, why wouldn't he walk around? Like, and I would just always go into depth about shit. And my friend used to be like, boy, you crazy as hell. Boy, you crazy as hell. Boy, you crazy as hell. So it's like when I got older, I started letting these thoughts go.

Yeah. And I was just like, anything that happened, I'd be like, hmm, I wonder why she cooked that like that. Why did she burn it? What was on her mind that you didn't keep your mind on these motherfucking eggs when they was cooking and now they ruined because she was thinking about something. I wonder what she was thinking. Like I used to

always do that. So as I got older, my friend, one day my friend was just like, this is when I was out of high school and everything. My friend was just like, man, you should do comedy. And I was like, nah, I ain't doing no fucking comedy. I was like, that shit is for goofies. And he'd be like,

nah, there's some great people who did comedy. And I was like, nah, I ain't doing no comedy. And he was like, dude, if you go on stage, I give you $50. Oh, wow. And I said, $50. He was like, yeah. I said, when? He was like, tomorrow.

Let's go down to Comedy Club. I said, all right. We went down there, and I couldn't get on stage. Then we went the following week, and I couldn't get on stage. And then the week after that i got on and i i knew at that moment in my life i i knew what i was here to do oh really instantly was wow oh this is why i'm here and what was your hunch before then what you were here to do did you have no idea my mother used to be on me and be like, when are you going to get a job? You know, your uncle, he's working at the Transit Authority, the CTA. You can go get a job driving buses or riding a train or driving a train.

Which isn't a bad job. Which is a great job. Yeah, yeah. It fits all that. Yeah. So I was like, she was like, yeah, we're going to try to get you in. I was like, all right, fine, cool. So that's what I was trying to get into.

But while I was selling coats at this leather maker's place. You've told me about Bermans. Yeah, it was leather makers. Oh, it was leather makers? Leather makers. I was selling leather coats. And so I was waiting on the transit job to come. And then that's when my friend was

like man you should stand up and i was like yeah yeah and then when i did it i was like oh oh okay yeah yeah could not sleep yeah could not sleep none of that just every day i would wake up and just be like man man i want to go I want to go do that again. Do that again. Yeah, yeah. I want to come back to this, but do you want to talk about the side business? Was that the Leathermakers? Yeah, let's do it.

That's fucking hilarious to me. And it's like there's such a logic to it. Yeah. And at the Leathermakers, you guys also sold another product, which was? Marijuana. It was weed. It was so weed. And I love it because, well, the place already smells like leather.

Yes. So you throw in some weed there, nobody's going to really notice that much. People do not realize that if you have a certain amount of leather in a store or in a warehouse or in a room, the smell of leather will outdo any other smell yeah any other smell we used to literally sit at the register of this of this fucking store smoking weed and it was glass windows so you could see anybody was it in a mall or just out in the it was like don't you know how you have like a like a grocery store mall? Oh, strip mall. Yeah, yeah. But there would be like a section, like you might see like an eyeglass place.

Yeah. Not connected to the mall, but in the parking lot of the mall. So it was kind of like that. I got you. It was like a little section off from the mall area. Yeah. And you could see cars pull up. So we would sit at the register and smoke weed.

A car pull up. We would put the joint out. And So we would sit at the register and smoke weed. A car would pull up. We would put the joint out. And then we would fan the smoke. And then we would spray some spray. And then people would come in. Nobody ever noticed. They would walk right from their car right in. One of them won't smell nothing.

Wow. And nothing at all. We would sit there high as shit. Would the manager know? The manager used to smoke weed. Oh, he was. She's the one who told us about it part of your orientation because we used to get off work we used to get off work soon as we closed the stores she would light a joint every night wow and she'd do it right there

so then it got to the point where shit we were doing it during the day like if it was slow we would just smoke right there in the store like yeah it was crazy see now what who wants to work who wants to drive a fucking bus when you got that sweet life you can work in the leather store and discounts on the leather jackets so many leather coats i bet i bought when i was i haven't i't know, I was probably 14 or 15, and I bought a black leather motorcycle jacket, but not like the Fonzie one, the one that was kind of like more like a, you know, motocross kind of jacket. Yeah, that's what you're talking about, yeah. And I just, like, I see pictures of myself,

and it's like fucking putting a switchblade in a bowl of pudding. It's just like, it just, I looked, and I thought like, yeah a switchblade in a bowl of pudding it's just like it just i looked just and i thought like yeah i'm like all right i look like i look fucking ridiculous just fucking ridiculous yeah i still but i yeah i don't, like, I can't wear leather now. I just, I don't know. Yeah? Yeah, just, I, I, I just, I just, I feel like a fucking dork.

I just feel like I can't pull this shit up. I don't know. You can't. I feel like, well, I, like, if I put on a leather coat now, I just feel like I look like, like a fucking cop. No. Trying to, you know. What's wrong with a nice aviator type leather, man? You can rock that shit.

Alright, I'll try, I guess. And also, it's too fucking hot in there. It's too hot in there. But it's been chilly lately at night. That's true, that's true. Get you a nice thin aviator. You'll look nice. I'll try. I'll try. If anything we get from this,

me to come back to leather coats. Every picture you're frowning in. DI made me do it. DI made me do this. I look like Fat Fonzie. Can't you tell my love's a-growing? When you did that first stand-up, did you work on material? Did you really think and really get stuff together, or did you just kind of wing it?

No. I sat back and I watched these comedians, and I kept thinking to myself, I could do this. I could do this. And so I started thinking about stories that I've told other people that I had them laughing and then I would ask my friends what story have I told you that made you laugh and they was like yo the one about the projects the one when you was dating a girl you had to walk up to the project door and then you was wondering who's gonna walk you back to your car

like that's hilarious and i was like oh yeah okay cool so then i wrote that down then we started talking about other stuff and it was this commercial they used to play in chicago i think you may be seeing it was called eagle man it was about as an insurance commercial oh all right yeah like this eagle landed on this car and he had had an egg, and it opened it up. I don't remember that. And there was no rates and shit. I don't remember that. Dude, that shit used to play every day in Chicago.

It was up there with the Empire commercials. Yeah, yeah. It was like that. So I talked about how dumb as fuck that was. And then I saw a Sunny Delight commercial, and it was about how these kids are just running in this white guy's house raiding his refrigerator and shit and i just thought how that wouldn't happen in a black home wrote that shit down and went up there and murdered yeah yeah murdered oh that's great

okay oh my god and for that to have the first time but never never worked it out never like stood in front of the mirror none of that shit I just wrote down and I ain't even write the whole thing out I just wrote down Sunday Delight commercial Eagle Man commercial

yeah yeah taking old girl to the projects yeah and I just wrote these beats and I just wrote them down on paper and I remembered them

and I went on stage and I did that shit and my fuckers just bossing up that's great well cause your rehearsal was telling it to people in real life yeah and I remembered them and I went on stage and I did that shit and my fucking just busting up. That's great. Well, because your rehearsal was telling it to people in real life. Yeah. Just being a funny person in real life.

I told so many people. But the commercials, I went and seen this shit. I started paying attention to shit. Right. Before I went on stage, I started looking at shit and going, oh, this commercial's stupid. Let's talk about it. Yeah. And I was like, oh, this is stupid. Let's talk about it. Yeah. And I was like, oh, this is stupid.

Let's talk about it. So it started going like that on top of the stories that I had and this shit. I had five minutes. Yeah. Well, it's good, too, because, you know, I think, I mean, it's probably good that you didn't. You hadn't soaked yourself in the stand-up world

and absorbed, like, other people's bad habits. You basically were coming in as you, as the original you, you know, and not kind of sticking to some kind of format or what was expected of you. Yeah. And that was, you know, that's a fantastic instinct to have, you know. Yeah, no, thanks, man. Like I said, I watched these guys and was just like, I can do that shit. I just kept thinking I can do it, I can do it.

But when I did it, it was lights out, man. I couldn't eat, think, sleep, nothing but. How long was it until you went back? I went back like maybe a week later. Yeah. What club was it? It was called All Jokes Aside or 9th and Wabash. Okay.

9th and Wabash called All Jokes Aside. So on the South Loop then? Yeah, South Loop. And then I started like, and then this comedian told me, I was doing so well that I ended up getting on this TV show four months later called Comic Justice that was on Comedy Central. Like four months, like this how that was on Comedy Central. Like four months. Like this how easy.

What year is this? This is like 93, 94. Wow. Like it was so easy. The five minutes that I was doing was killing so hard that I got into like this competition thing and got to be on this show four months later. And then eight months after that, I was on HBO's Deaf Comedy Jam.

So within 12 months, I was on one of the biggest platforms in comedy, which is Deaf Comedy Jam. Yeah. But what make you is what break you. So as I did get on this show, I only had like

10 minutes of material. I did get on this show, I only had like 10 minutes of material. I did seven other minutes on Def Jam. I only had three left. So then they were like, yo, we want you to go on tour with us. I said, great. I went on tour with Def Jam. I was supposed to do 20 minutes. I did the set that I did on TV that people saw already,

that they was kind of like, okay, motherfucker, what else you got? Yeah, we saw that. And I had nothing else. So I got booed one night. The other night, nobody laughed and did nothing. The other night, it was the same. And then they told me I can go home. Sent me a ticket.

It was like, yo, thanks anyway. Appreciate you. Sent me home. And I was just crushed because I was so embarrassed to go home. I wouldn't even tell people I sent me home. And I was just crushed. Because I was so embarrassed to go home. I wouldn't even tell people I was at home. I wouldn't even go to my normal spots where I go eat or go shoot pool. Because everybody knew I was on tour. And I was just so embarrassed that I just stayed in the house.

And I just kept thinking to myself, I got to write. I was like, I got to write. And I just kept thinking that. I got to write. I got to write. And then I just kept thinking that like I gotta write I gotta write and then I just started writing writing then I started writing scripts and sketches and writing jokes and jokes and just kept writing and writing and writing not even knowing why I'm writing I was just like I'll

think of a movie scene and write it like just I would just write the movie scene down like that was it I'll write the dialogue scene down. That was it. I'd write the dialogue for that. And I was just writing. And then I talked to some other friends, and we started forming this group called Second City. And then we started performing, and then we went down. I mean, not Second City, Forgotten City.

I was going to say, you know, there is a Second City. Yeah, I know, right? But we went down to Second City, introduced ourselves, and they gave us a night. Oh, really? Yeah, right there on Clark. Oh, that's awesome. And so we used to perform right on top of Tina and Frank's wedding.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Friday night. And Friday night, we would be on top of them. In the upstairs space? In the upstairs space, yes. And we would perform there. And we did it for like a year. Every Friday, we had these sketches we would

do and we would just knock it out. Place would be packed. The whole city used to come see us every time. Wow. And then we left, came to LA and had a showcase with Puffy and Brillstein and Gray. And we did this whole big showcase. They loved us. Our manager at the time

was on some old cocaine shit. Took our money. It'll shit. Took our money. Took our money. Fucked the deal up. And we all went back home. And I just was like, anyway. And I just kept writing. And I started writing for this other comedian named Ricky Smiley. He started hosting this show

called Comic View. I wrote for him. And I wrote these prank phone call CDs that he wrote. And then I went back home and I was just at home chilling. Yeah. Yeah. And then I was it.

And then I went and did festival. I went and did the Aspen festival. Uh-huh. What year was that? This was like 90s. No, this was like, yeah, I think this was like early 2000s. Okay. I think it was early 2000s.

I did a festival, and that's when I met J.P. Buck. Uh-huh. J.P. Buck, who works at Conan. Works here, yeah. He saw me perform and was like, he didn't even really say nothing to him. He just said, great job. But that was it. And then later on, when Conan came to, when you all came to L.A.,

Yeah. J.P. began working for you all, remembered me from the Aspen Festival and said, hey, would you like to come to a spot on the Tonight Show? And I was like, yeah. Maybe. Maybe. Let me go think about it. Okay, I thought about it, yes.

And man, lights out. Yeah, yeah. I was just like that, lights out. Like, man. Well, you were so fucking funny, and we got our hooks into you right away man yeah didn't even i don't even know if you even know the whole story about me with that shit man i don't i don't know you just showed up i was like who's this black guy

have you looked around it's all white here. What's going on? And I told everybody, too. I said, it is white as snow over there. I know, I know. Well, honestly, it is. It's like, you know, I fucking wish it weren't. And the only way to change that is to hire black people. And we hired you. and then you went and got too famous for us fucking took off on us you know no i dude it was so bizarre like when i first got

there i was ready to quit like i was i was like i stayed there for a while i mean like how soon after your spot did you get a writing job? Shit. It was two weeks later I heard from Conan. Yo, really? Wow. Saying, yo, I want you to come write. But I had these comedy shows that I had just won that I was supposed to do,

like with these schools. Like a tour kind of thing. Yeah. And I was like, I'm not losing that money to go over there. I was like, and do what? And they was like, write. And I was like, I'm not losing that money to go over there. I was like, and do what? And they was like, write. And I was like,

write what? Like, what do you want me to write? Like, that's fucking Conan. Like, I don't know what he want me to write. And they was like,

just jokes. Like, they want you to, he wants you to write jokes for him. I just was like, that don't make sense to me. And I was like, but anyway,

I'll go and see what's up. But I just, I, writing for Conan was so huge that my mindset didn't fit what was going on

you get what I'm saying it was like I know they don't want me to write right so what do we want me to do and they was like write and I'm like no we meant write right but I'm like write what though you wouldn't even know if I could write or And I'm like, no. Yeah, yeah, no, we meant write, write. No, no, no, yeah, but I'm like, write what, though? Like, you don't even know if I can write or not. I never submitted nothing.

I never even told you that I wrote. Yeah. I never, we never had this conversation. So I was like, what do you want me, like, I don't get it. And I just, and they kept going, we don't get it. My manager was like, we don't get it neither. We don't know. And to the point where they was like are you like like really

yeah and so when i showed up i just like kept quiet and looked around and watched everybody and tried to fit in and it just didn't work it didn't work it wasn't working like i i couldn't write like that i wasn't even thinking the way that the other writers were thinking like I couldn't even my mind wasn't even there and the things that I knew about they didn't know about and the things they were talking about I had no idea what they were talking about so I wasn't able to relate and I got tired of being phony because I was just being phony and acting like I knew and I just and I didn't't. And it got exhausting, fake laughing. Yeah.

And being like trying to fit in. And I just, I told my manager, I was like, yo, I'm gonna leave next week. And she like, was like, do not leave. Please, please stay. And I was like, nah. I was like, I'm good. I was like, it was cool. And I appreciate the offer.

And I was loved and I appreciate them and they're good people but I don't want to be around those writers cause they were just like they're too advanced for me and I don't think like them and so she was like are you sure she was like just stay one more week

and I said I'll stay another week but then that's it I was like cause I don't want to do that shit. And came to work. Chris, Chris, the IT guy. Yeah. Chris Hayes. Chris Hayes came to hook my computer up.

And he was hooking my computer up. He was fixing it or doing something. And he was hooking my computer up. He was fixing it or doing something. And he was like, he closed my door and was like, dude, we so proud to have a black man behind those doors writing and representing us. Do us well. And I said, no, nigga, don't put that shit on me. Don't put that pressure on me like that. He was like, no, I'm serious, man.

Like, really, man. Man, show they ass, man. And I was like, no. In my mind, I'm going, I. Like, really, man. Man, show they ass, man. And I was like, no. In my mind, I'm going, I'm quitting. You know, I'm like, I ain't coming back to this shit. And I'm like, man, don't do that shit. So he was like, nah, for real, man. Just, man, knock it out.

He hooked my computer up and he left. And I was like, I was like, he going to be disappointed. But then Erica Brown came and gave me my business card. These are, by the way, for people that work here. These are African-Americans that work here. Yes, these are black people. These are black people. The only two black people that worked here.

So Erica, who's- Well, that weren't in the band. That wasn't in the band. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That wasn't in the band. So then Erica came up and gave me my business cards and said the same shit. Yeah. That she didn't even know that Chris said.

She was like, man, being a black man over there is huge. Man, don't let us down. And I'm like, bitch, I'm about to quit. Like, no. And I sat with that shit like, fuck, man. I was like, it bothered me that they both said that shit to me. And that if I would have quit,

I would have let them down. So I just, but I still was going to quit. I still was like, fuck this. Like I'll never see them again. Like, I understand.

I understand your black, black people, black people swept under the rug of history. I'm sorry, but I'll never see you two motherfuckers ever again, neither. So fuck this. I'm out of here. And we sat up in the writer's room, and this is the moment that changed everything. We were writing for you.

Yeah. We were writing a sketch for you for Oktoberfest. And they said, yeah, we got to come up with this bit for Andy, Oktoberfest. And I sat there fed up in a sense because I was fed up not knowing

shit that everybody was talking about. I simply went, what the fuck is that? And they was like, what? I said, what's Oktoberfest? And they was like, what? I said, what's Oktoberfest? And they was like, it's a German drinking day. And I said, a German drinking day?

And they was like, yeah. I said, Andy's German? And they was like, yeah. And I was like, uh.

And they was like, what? And I was like, I said, it's just odd that everybody got a fucking drinking day except for black people

and shit. And they was like laughing and they was like, what do you mean? I was like, you got Cinco de Mayo, St. Paddy's Day. Yeah, yeah. Now you got Oktoberfest.

Yeah. And black people ain't got a fucking drinking day. And everybody was laughing. And then Sweeney was like, shit, write that up. Yeah, that's the bit. That was the bit. Yeah. And I was like, what?. And I was like, what?

Yeah. I was like, what? Yeah. He was like, yeah. Like, yeah, let's write that up. And I was like, okay, and do what? And he was like, I'll show you how to write it. Because I didn't even know how to fucking write it.

He was like, yeah, I'm going to show you how to write it. And we were sending it to Conan. And it was like, okay, cool. So we sent it to Conan for him to do it, to talk about it. Yeah. And when Conan read the shit, Conan was like,

you do it. I don't want to do that. You do it. And I was like, what? Yeah, yeah. What do you mean? Well, yeah, how the fuck he's going to stand there? He's going to stand there practically practically translucent

and wonder why there's not a black drinking day I just thought it was some observational shit that he could've took and ran with it

but then I also was like well shit why the fuck y'all ask me to write this shit for him because that's what it was for

they was like write it up like write it up for him to talk about and so Sweeney was showing me it wasn't for me's what it was for. Right, right. They was like, write it up. Yeah. Like, write it up for him to talk about. And so Sweeney was showing me it wasn't for me to do. It was for him to talk about, to bring the obvious, like maybe do a sketch on having Black Drinking Day or some shit. So then, shit, when he was like, you come out and do it, I was like, still like, huh?

And after that, I came out and did that shit it was lights out yeah but i always tell people i always be like it was a sketch we was writing for andy oh good that fucking turned the pages that's great everything i'm happy yeah no i'm happy that i mean you know just because i mean i'm a whole lot of different kinds of white, but German just happens to be my last name. Rick there, yeah. But, I mean, I can tell you, you know, the idea of, and it is, this is such a white place, and comedy can be such a white kind of, well, and also, too, there's white culture and there's black culture. There's white comedy and there's black comedy. And they,

it's kind of rare that they really mix in a way that they're, that they're on equal footing within the same kind of, you know, the same kind of, of, of format or the same kind of show. Like I'm kind of thinking like like key and peel would be one that like was kind of like wasn't so specifically black and and like chapelle show was a lot of that was about about blackness but it was in it was just so fucking funny yeah that it was just accessible to everybody and And also it was about bigger things. So, yeah, I mean, we want it.

You know, in order to get color in here, it's like we need somebody. And I mean, I wasn't in on hiring you, but I can tell you just knowing Conan's mind and being of a similar mind, you're funny. Come on in, come on in and let's figure it out. And that's what happened, you know? Yeah.

But I felt it from you all. I didn't feel it from everybody, but I wasn't around you all. Yeah. Yeah. I get it. You know what I'm saying? It was like,

it was like, Conan was like, yo, or you, you, you or Conan or Sweeney would be like, you are hilarious. Yeah. And then leave me. You know what I mean? Then I didn't see y'all no more. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But then I was around other people that were like, no, you ain't funny like that. Oh, really? Wow. You got to chill. You got to sit back and let us chill. But what happened was, I mean, shit, it went from me not being able to write and compete like that to

it became a day where they had to write, like, people had to write for me. Ha ha ha! I bet that felt kind of fun. It did feel, it did feel. Oh, I'm not funny, huh? Motherfucker. It got feel, it did feel. Oh, I'm not funny, huh? Motherfucker.

It got to, instead of me trying to fit the format, it became the format that I was thinking of became a format that people had to recognize and write for. From denying your voice to writing for your voice. It was cool. Fucking sweet. That's awesome. Yeah, man. That's what happened. And you broke out. recognize yeah right from denying your voice to writing for your voice was fucking sweet that's awesome yeah yeah that's that's what happened and you broke out yo you broke out you know yeah out and it was and it was something that i always use for motivation i tell people you know like i let people know like like like that was a defining moment man man. But I remember I used to go to Conan. I used to talk to Conan and be like, man, I don't feel right.

Like, I don't feel right. Like, you don't know what I'm dealing with. Yeah. You know, he'll be like, man, like, let me know if you got any problem. But anytime I went to him, everything got sweet. Yeah. And everything would be sweet for a minute. Then it would be, you know.

I mean, I remember this one writer, this motherfucker told me, when I first got there, he came to me and was like, yeah, we're glad to have you. I was like, oh, thanks, man. I appreciate it. He was like, yeah, make sure you keep

your office tidy, okay? Keep it up, because we don't want you bringing down a property at other uh other are you for other offices and then everybody was laughing and i and i was just in front of everybody well whoever was listening yeah that's what was there at the moment and was it meant to be like a and i'm making air quotes joke yeah it was it was meant to be a joke yeah yeah but i don't know you motherfucker right yeah you got it yeah exactly i don't know it's like like six months from now you can maybe make that joke six months from now yeah yeah yeah we

can do that right right i don't know you right exactly this ain't this ain't no good introduction joke for me i well i think you know yeah but i never never you bring a big deal i just yeah no i know and i was i mean i was kind of aware of it at at the time but you know i mean i'm not like i'm not in the writing process as much as i as i used to be uh because like i don't even know like when i think of a bit i'm the same way i gotta fucking write it down on a piece of a bit i'm the same way i gotta fucking write it down on a piece of paper and have somebody else put it into the computer because i don't know where that program is i don't know how it works i'm just like here here's the here just put that in the computer and send it out um so yeah but i mean i was kind of aware of it and i

also was probably i was aware that there were gonna be some members of the staff that were just just that awkward whiteness that where it's like a black person i'm gonna be cool about it and then they're just the exact opposite of cool and all they can focus on they can't they can't just like go like oh there's a black person. Life goes on. It's like, hey, black person, how is it being black? How's your black day? How's your black breakfast? And it was like that. It was like that on every day where it would be like constant.

And it would be like, all right already. Like, okay, let's just focus on me trying to be great like you guys. I want to write like you guys. I want to be great like you guys. I look up to you guys, man. My face got Emmys and all that kind of shit. I want to be like one of y'all. Let's not make me feel fucked up about this.

But it was just so crazy how that shit turned. Yeah. It was like, it was like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, so do you like this, Dion? It was like, ha, ha, Dion, ha, ha, Dion. Then it just flipped to, hey, do you think you would say something like this, Dion? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would this be great or would this be?

And I was like, yo, that's crazy how this shit changed like that or whatever. But it was just being persistent and being true to who I was and not wavering, even though I tried to waver. And it just didn't work. But what worked was just me being me and shit. And I always wanted to. It's a pretty good fucking lesson. Yeah, and I always wanted to bring all our shit together and bring it together. It's great when our worlds clash.

Yeah, yeah. It's great when I brought Conan to that soul food restaurant. That shit was great to see that motherfucker eating ribs and pork chops and shit. It was great putting you in that black commercial. And at the end, you sitting there with two beautiful black babes. Like, that shit was fun, man. It was beautiful. Right.

Well, because it points out kind of the absurdity of, like, we live in the same fucking place, and it's still two different worlds. Yeah. And it's silly. It's silly. And it it's still two different worlds. Yeah. And it's silly. It's silly. And it's great when we come together. Yeah. And so that's what I always wanted to incorporate as a writer here with the other writers.

Like, man, let's not make this black-white. Let's just make this a together thing and take both worlds and make them clash. And that's going to be the funny. It ain't got to be a white thing or black thing. And also, if we're writing a bit about like, you know, there's a farmer in the audience. Like, we're going to come up with farmer jokes. It doesn't have to be black farmer jokes or white farmer jokes. But let me put my spin on it.

Yeah, yeah. Don't make me put the white spin on it. Let me put my spin on it. Let me be me doing this joke. Yep. You get what I'm saying? I always tell people,

if you gave five comedians the script for Pet Detective, the movie Jim Carrey did, Yeah, yeah. you would have five different Pet Detectives. Absolutely. It's all,

the execution. The execution. The shittiest script. Right. And I mean, I've seen it from like things I've auditioned for where I'm like

man this is a funny script it comes out it's just garbage yeah and then a really kind of not so great script like hey fuck that's funny

you know it comes out the other end funny right as long as you can put your spin on it and that's what that's what was

not that's what was missing a lot of times that they would be like hey do it this way when I would be like why do you have me here if you don't have me doing it of times that they would be like, hey, do it this way. When I would be like, why do you have me here if you don't have me doing it the way that I would do it? You're missing out.

You're missing out on me not doing it the way that I do it, which is whatever. I'm a black man, so I'm going to do it the black fucking way. But you are missing out if you don't do that. And that's what I always tripped out about, you know, producers or casting directors or writers or whatever. When they get comedians or improv cats or whatever to do these scripts or be in this and that and the third, they get you and then make you do it this way instead of trusting you to do it the way that you do it. It's almost like, well, why do you got me here, motherfucker, if you don't trust me to bring my level of funny to it? That's a never-ending question in this fucking business, though.

It's like, I mean, you know, I've been hired to do TV shows, and they're like, and I've lived through this where they're like, we want you. We want to hear your voice.

And as you go through the process, it gets less, it gets more and more. You know what? We'd actually have you rather be like everything else, if you don't mind. This whole thing, when we said we wanted you, yeah, we changed our minds. Yeah, it's crazy. And then in order to get it on, you have to convert to a way that they're used to.

And now you're sitting on the shelf some goddamn place because it's like everybody else or you're doing shitty work or you're doing shitty because it's always that you know i mean yeah there's plenty of successful shows that just fucking blow yes that are not interesting or not fun because they don't have any perspective they're just a fucking panel yes you know they're they're cooked up by a panel of people yeah and that's the same thing with even like comedians like and if there's any comic listening yeah you can have your jokes and shit and you could be a jokey jokey motherfucker but if you don't bring who you are to the table then you're just gonna get lost in the waysideside. You got to bring who you are. You got to look in the mirror and go, I am unique.

I am different. And you take that uniqueness and you apply it. Don't go in the world and be just a regular fucking comic. Like, be who you are and bring that to your comedy to make you different. And then when we see how different you are as a comic then that translate to a TV show because now we can look and say oh this is a different kind of world this guy's in hey this could be a

show but as long as you going out there doing just jokes and shit can't nobody see no TV show out of that can't nobody see no movie out of this you know what I mean so it's important for you to bring whoever you are to the table so it can flourish into other things rather than you just being a snappy fucking comic. Yeah.

Can't you tell my love's a-growing? Did you catch any shit for working on our show out in the world? I would imagine, yeah. I caught a lot of shit. Yeah. I got a lot. Like, I wouldn't even get booked on certain shows because they deemed me a white comic. I was called Token.

I was called all kind of shit, man. Like, a lot of, like I said, a lot of people wouldn't even book me or whatever. Like, on shows and shit like that, I had to had to like really go my own lane and build my own following and build my start my own fucking shit was this after our tour to or no this was this was during during yeah when i first came to the night show yeah yeah shit stop it was like this first of all no black no, no. Black people were very proud of me when I was on The Tonight Show. They was like, yo, and they made all comedians be like, man, I want to get into Late Night. Inspired a whole lot of people, definitely. But then when it came to comedy shows, if they felt like I wasn't a great fit for the lineup that was going on.

So I would never be booked on the lineup. If it was this comedian, this comedian, this comedian, it wouldn't be me. And then if they did book me, a lot of them would be like, oh, it would be good to get Dion because it would be a different kind of flavor on the show. Like that's how they would book me. Yeah, get Dion because he'll bring a different kind of twist to the show yeah and then my audience started changing too my audience went from black to like white like I was like I wasn't showing up at shows and my audience was totally just white wow yeah it'd be just white but I'll be doing these like black jokes or these jokes that

that I'll write for black people and white people would be like, it'd be cool, but it'd be like, ah, it's weird. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like you said,

like you don't know me enough to laugh at that. Whereas a black crowd knows you, you know, because they have a shared experience. Yeah. And so I wasn't sitting asses in seats in black theaters and black shows. So a lot of promoters wouldn't, wouldn't book me neither because a lot of promoters wouldn't book me neither

because a lot of black people weren't watching Conan like that. Yeah, yeah. So I wasn't putting asses in seats. Like a lot of white shows, you'll perform, but you wouldn't make money. Black shows, you make money, but you got to put asses in seats.

So it was a long time that I was missing from that scene, but I was becoming funnier and funnier. So when I did start kind of like coming back around the scene or whatever- Rob Markman And writing and writing and writing. Rob Markman Writing and writing and writing and writing and that people start going, oh, oh damn. Like, oh, we didn't know he was that funny. Oh man, we didn't know this and we didn't know that. And so it just started building up where like my black audience started showing up and showing up but then when I hit

blackish it was like yo like it was like crazy boom because I still had you all's audience yeah and then I had this blackish audience and now my crowd was like that's when my audience started being like the perfect

fucking blend you know and then a lot of white people watch blackish that's what I was started being like the perfect fucking blend, you know. And then a lot of white people watched Black-ish. That's what I was going to say. Black-ish is a very mixed show. Actually, we have more white viewers than black now. Oh, wow. Absolutely. Absolutely. And so... That's really cool. Yes, it is. That's really great.

It really is. And it's, you know, and it's a testament to the quality of the writing in that show and the quality of the performing in that show. Absolutely. Because it does, it's you know and it's a testament to the quality of the writing of that show and the quality of the performing in that show because it does it's like you know it's about a family yeah and even though black is in the name it's secondary to the fact that like we know all these people you know yeah absolutely yeah how did that come about i um just an audition i was no i was leaving i was i was leaving here after i had my show black box right you had a show on our on tvs yeah for a little bit yeah the show called black box at the black box i was coming back over here just a little bit to do bits, but I didn't want

to come back and write, write, write like that. I was just thinking like at the Black Box and I had this whole shit with TBS, man. I was at the time, the people that were in the office at TBS at the time, they were like on some baseball shit, like white America. Like my show just wasn't fitting the network but it was but it was praised by everybody else yeah yeah it was funny yeah it was funny show yeah yeah man so they was so i just knew that i had a formula and i wanted to go somewhere else and and do it or whatever as i was waiting as i was having meetings to see if i can take black box to

another network or something then they came to me and was like, hey, Steve Carell's doing a show on TBS called Angie Tribeca. You should go audition for it. And I was like, OK. And I went and auditioned for it. And the day before I was auditioning, they were like, hey, they want to change your character that you auditioned for. Because Steve Carell don't want you to be change your character that you're auditioning for. Because Steve Carell don't want you to be another angry.

Because I was auditioning for a lieutenant. They said, we don't want you being another black screaming lieutenant in a fucking show or whatever. So we're just going to have you come in and we're going to see what happens. And I came in and me and Steve Carell actually ad-libbed just anything yeah yeah he would just make up and i would just ride with him and just go with him and we'll go back and forth and he was like okay we'll get back at you they ended up writing a character for me and so he ended up seeing full house the night before and saw dj tanner's name and came back and was like you're gonna be dj tanner and i was like and came back and was like, you're going to be DJ Tanner.

And I was like, oh, OK. And he was like, yeah, we're just going to write a character for you. We'll write it into the script. So a lot of the first episodes, you'll see me just go, hey, Angie, they need you in the office. Yeah, that would be it. Because they hadn't figured it out yet. They hadn't figured it out yet. So I just come in.

Hey, you guys, you need some coffee? I'm a placeholder. I'm a placeholder. I'm a placeholder. Something's going to happen with me soon. TBD. TBT, just wait. So yeah, so that's how it was. And so when we found out that he was writing me in,

I was like, man, this is great. But the show was taking so long for us to film. We was just like okay all right ready all right we went to like two up fronts like oh when are we gonna be oh yeah they do that shit do that shit so i was like i've been on up fronts with like shows where they're like yeah we everything we have 10 episode shot and it won't be uh on the air for another 13 months yeah what the fuck yeah so i was like man i thinking like, well, let me just keep taking these meetings and stuff.

And so this agent by the name of Tamara, Tamara was like, yo, these people are looking for writers. If you feel like writing and they hear that you just finished writing for Conan, if you can come over and just write for them, like see if you want to write for them or whatever. And I said, oh, okay, what's the show? And they was like, she was like, I forgot the name of it. I don't know it. And they was like, well, can you come meet with the executive producer,

the creator of it? And so I met with Kenya Barris, and he was like, yeah, it's a show called Black-ish, and it's about this family and da, da, da. And I was like, yeah, it's a show called Black-ish and it's about this family and da-da-da, woo-woo-woo. And I was like, oh, okay. And they was like, yeah, so we're looking for some characters that you could probably write for or whatever to help out. So I was like, all right, fine, cool. So they started telling me about this character named Charlie

that Charlie Murphy was supposed to play. Oh, yeah. Eddie Murphy's brother who passed away, rest in peace. And so he was supposed to play this character. And at the last minute, he was like wasn't gonna do it and so Kenya was like man you think you can play the character and I was like uh I guess but I knew I had my TBS show I was waiting on that to come so I was like Black Box still hadn't happened yet oh Black Box oh oh oh oh Angie Tribeca Angie Tribeca oh yeah I remember waiting for Angie Tribeca. Oh, yeah. I remember that. How you kind of were like

in between the two. Yeah. So I was like, yeah, I'll do a guest spot on it and did it. And they was like, can you do it again? And I said, yeah. And went to another episode, did it again. And they was like, yo, okay, just one

more time. And I did another episode, played the character again, and they was like, okay, we got a problem. They was like, we got to have this character on the show. They went to TBS. TBS was like, fuck no, we're about to start shooting. And they was like, well, can we use him until you shoot? And they was like, okay. So I did probably like eight episodes of Black-ish, and then I had to stop and do Andrew Tribeca. The next season, they was like, we got to have him.

So then they negotiated with TVSTS, like, fuck that. No, no, no. And then they was like, okay, you can use him on days that we don't need him. So then they started changing their schedule, having me working on these days in order to come over and do Black-ish. That's so fucking stressful. It was stressful as shit. Yeah.

But then we got through it and I ended up doing like 12 episodes do Black-ish. That's so fucking stressful. It was stressful as shit. Yeah. But then we got through it and I ended up doing like 12 episodes of Black-ish because they were doing 24 episodes. Right, right. I did 12 of them and still did all of Angie Tribeca. Season three, they was like, yo, what do you want to do?

And I was like, okay, I'd rather do Black-ish. And they was like, didn't want to let me out of my contract. So they took me from a regular to co-starring on Angie Tribeca so I can do more Black-ish. I did that. Then the fourth season, they was like, I'll do two, three episodes of Angie Tribeca, all of Black-ish, and now it's Grown-ish.

So Grown-ish spent off. So they was like, we, and now it's Grown-ish. So Grown-ish spent off. And so they was like, we need you to jump off Grown-ish. So he was like, we're going to use you as your character to come over on this new show called Grown-ish with a spinoff that we can get viewers and shit like that. We're going to use you on both shows. And I said, okay. So I was doing Andy Tribeca, Black-ishca Blackish Grownish and still was coming over

here doing bits Conan and so and doing dates too and I had this other game show called Face Value on BET that I was hosting but I filmed that all in like two weeks game shows are nice that way

you can knock them out so I was going crazy that fourth season. Like, it was just, like, nuts. Jesus. But never auditioned. Everything was just always like, you know, we vibe with you. We trust you. Yo, we want to rock with you and shit.

Same thing with Conan. Same thing with Steve Carell. Same thing with Kenya. Yeah. It was always just, man, we fuck with you. Let's just make something happen. Anything I've auditioned for, never really got. It was just always moments like that that made my career take off. That'll make you feel real good i hope it does it does man yeah it keeps it keeps me hopeful it keeps me feeling like i mean i believe in myself yeah i mean it's a question myself it's

a bullshit business yeah but you're you know there is some occasionally realness gets valued and gets rewarded and i think you know in your your case, you're a very good case for that. Yeah. Because you just kind of – and it isn't like – I mean, you're not like somebody that's like, you know, I'm coming in here and it's going to be my way. You're just yourself. Yeah. And you're kind of like, you know, take it or leave it.

Yeah. You know. Yeah. And – Try to stay low maintenance. Yeah, yeah. You know, I come in, everybody play their it. Yeah. Try to stay low maintenance. Yeah, yeah. Come in. Everybody play their position.

Right. Let's make this happen. Keep your office neat. Keep your office neat, motherfucker. I can't wait till we hit stop on this and I can find out who the fuck that was. Well, I want to get you out of here because we got time constraints here. So the second question is where you're going. And I mean, is there stuff?

What do you want to do? Like what's ahead of you? And it doesn't have to just be work. You know, it could be I know you got a son. How old's your son now? 17. 17. Wow.

Yeah. I just want to be able to have a bigger fan base, man, where I can do stand-up and I can create content and I can just constantly give the world the way that I think, another perspective, another opinion, another view on the world in a funny way that people probably haven't seen before. So whatever that is, through movie, television, stand-up, that's what I want to do. I just want to keep building my fan base, man, and keep getting people to see another perspective of something that you haven't seen before or something that you know about,

but just getting another spin on it. And that's what I want to provide to everyone. Will you always do stand-up, you think? I think I will. Yeah. Yeah, I think Will you always do stand-up, you think? I think I will. Yeah. Yeah, I think I will always do stand-up as long as Seinfeld is out there rocking. Yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? Is it your favorite thing to do of all the shit you do? Yeah, because it's therapeutic. Yeah. I get to say what's on my mind, you know, and talk about it. I'm not acting. Acting is more of an escape, you know? So stand-up is where I get to talk about what's on my mind and how I'm feeling and

what I'm thinking. Yeah, be able to express it to some people and have them think differently about something that I think about or learn from them and then go talk about it. Yeah. So, yeah, it's very therapeutic for me. And what do you think, what would that main message be? What do you think, you know, like, you know, there's different ways to look at it. You know, what's on your tombstone?

What advice do you give people? What, you know, what's on the poster of the Deion Cole story? you know what's on the poster of the deon cole story man mine is just man do it your way and do it the best way you can do it you know always show love in every way yeah yeah you and you know that is a key too because you do you're you're you're a good good person you know you're welcome you're welcome and i mean because there are you know there you're welcome. You're welcome. And I mean, because there are, you know, there's a lot of talented funny people who aren't very nice and yeah. And who, who tend to elbow their way into things. And, and usually it's pushing their way into things where there might be

pushing other people out of the way and you've always just kind of been organically yourself and and and you know and the same with you man like a lot i used to always tell people this man i used to be like especially like after the tour and stuff people always be like how's conan i'll be like man conan's this way that way then how's andy i used to be like yo andy is one of the realest motherfuckers you ever want to meet. I used to always tell you guys. Oh, thank you, thank you. I used to be like, man, Andy is the realest.

He going to give it to you the way it is. It ain't no fluff. It ain't no bullshit. This is what it is. Take it or fucking leave it, man. And that attitude and that way of thinking always fits well with me. Because you know what you're getting i feel the same way i that's you and i connected on that way i don't have to guess i don't have to worry i don't have to think are you thinking this or whatever you give me exactly

what it is and then i can filter it from there yeah and that's how i digest that shit instead of not knowing or you sitting up saying one thing and thinking another one I'm gone and all that shit I get exactly what I get from you and I always commend you for that thank you it's funny because I had I was in therapy today and I was talking to my therapist and one of the things I was talking about in relationships like something the way people sometimes especially within romantic relationships you'll get like somebody will say like no go ahead go to the party yeah and you know they mean don't you fucking dare go to that party yes yes and my i've always been like if you say i can go to the

party i'll go to the party i just want you to know that because i'm because if i say it i mean it yes and i expect that back yes so don't fucking play games because i will i'll i will take you at your word even if i know even if i know if i know you're fucking like giving me a 180 or trying to manipulate me or being like a martyr or some shit it's like no life's too fucking short to not say what you mean you know amen yeah amen brother and that's and that's needed in this world man yeah it's especially when especially when you older too you ain't got time to be fucking off and bullshitting and wasting time like give it to you the way you can handle it you can handle the truth god damn it and you can handle giving the truth.

Don't bullshit me. And that's a great example. If you don't want me going to the party, just say you don't want me going to the goddamn party. And then we can figure it out from there. It ain't the end of the world. I might not even feel like going to the goddamn party. You know what I mean? But just telling me that you want me to stay is, yo, that saves time.

And we get down to doing what we really want to do. Yeah isn't to say i'm gonna go out fuck you i'm gonna go to the party because i might say look i know you don't mean that yeah so let's talk about that yeah you know like and then next time you can tell me i really wish you wouldn't go to the party you know so real shit man well let's go to a party right now. Yeah. Because it's time to wrap this thing up. This has been just a joy. I mean, I love seeing you whenever I see you, and it's good to just get here. And, like, one of the best things about doing this is that I get to, like, ask people that I love and friends of mine, like, awkward questions. You know, like, tell me about yourself.

Like, which would be fucking weird if we were, you know like tell me about yourself like which would be fucking weird if we were you know having a drink and I'd be like so what were you like in school

you know it gives me an excuse to fucking cry creepy creepy as shit just over a cocktail tell me about

your love life alright well Dion I love you thank you I love you Andy and good. I love you, Andy. And good luck. And I can't wait to see you take over this entire industry. Likewise, Andy.

Love you. Thank you for having me, man. Thank you. And thank you for listening to The Three Questions. And we will be at you next time. I've got a big, big love for you. The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco and Earwolf production. It's produced by me, Kevin Bartelt,

executive produced by Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Chris Bannon and Colin Anderson at Earwolf. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, associate produced by Jen Samples and Galit Zahayek, and engineered by Will Becton. And if you haven't already, make sure to rate and review The Three Questions with Andy Richter on Apple Podcasts. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.