The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Dylan Adler

Episode Date: August 13, 2024

Comedian Dylan Adler joins Andy Richter to discuss growing up as an identical twin, being too nice for roasts, working with Andy and Chelsea Peretti on “First Time Female Director,” re-inventing y...ourself in college, his cathartic live show with Kelly Bachman, putting your work online, and much more.Do you want to talk to Andy live on SiriusXM’s Conan O’Brien Radio? Leave a voicemail at 855-266-2604 or fill out our Google Form at BIT.LY/CALLANDYRICHTER. Listen to "The Andy Richter Call-In Show" every Wednesday at 1pm Pacific on SiriusXM's Conan O'Brien Channel.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello everybody, this is Andy Richter and you are listening to The Three Questions. I am the host of The Three Questions and this week I'm here with Dylan Adler. Dylan is a comedian, an actor, a writer, and a musician. He was recently a writer on The Late Late Show with James Corden and was the co-composer of the musical Good Morning New York. You can also see Dylan in Chelsea Peretti's feature First Time Female Director. And guess what? I'm in it too.
Starting point is 00:00:29 Before my conversation with Dylan Adler, I just want to thank everyone who has called in so far into the Andy Richter Call-In Show on SiriusXM. We've been having a great time recording them and we're excited to keep doing it. If you want to be a part of this new show, you can find more information in the description of this episode. And now here is my conversation with the charming and lovely Dylan Adler. Can't you tell my love's here? All right. Well, hello, Dylan Adler.
Starting point is 00:01:07 Hi, Andy. It's great to have you here. Thank you so much for having me. Considering we're co-stars. I know, considering that we shared the screen and first time female director. That's right. Yes. But I don't feel, I don't remember seeing you on the set because you were like separate,
Starting point is 00:01:24 right? You were... I was filming the very first day. I was only there for one day, and the table read where we met first. Right, that's right. Right, right, right. And I've seen you around. Well, I mean, first, I know you're from the internet. Uh, from Grindr.
Starting point is 00:01:36 And... Honestly, okay, I have to say, one of my best friends, Sam Morrison, has the biggest crush on you and will be so jealous when I tell him I was on your podcast. That's nice to hear. It's nice to hear. I'll take a crush no matter who it's from.
Starting point is 00:01:52 It could be from an inanimate object. I'll take a crush at my advanced age, but that's nice of him. But so yeah, I've always, you're so funny and it was fun to be, you know, to just be in this. That movie, which the movie we're talking about is called First Time Female Director. And it was a movie that Chelsea Peretti,
Starting point is 00:02:15 the hilarious standup comedian, wrote and directed and starred in, which is insane. And I told her like, that's one too many. Like, you know, like, do two, just two is insane. And I told her, like, that's one too many. Like, you know, like, like, do two. Just two is enough. And then, and then not, you know, that's too many. And she was like, yeah. She was like, yeah, just wait, wait until you see
Starting point is 00:02:34 how I don't know my lines and then, and then you'll see that you're right. Um, but I was just so happy to be, that she asked me to be in that, you know. I had just done some short video, and she told me, like, yeah, I just, that she had made a short video for her years ago. And she said, yeah, I made a mental note that, like,
Starting point is 00:02:56 oh, that Andy Richter's good, which is, you know, just nice, you know? And I'm sure it was probably the same for you. I know, because I think she found me really from online videos, and I've been a fan of hers for a really long time. So to be able to like audition and then be asked to be in the show, I was like, and then to be at the table read and I see you and Max Greenfield and like Amy Poehler, I was literally like,
Starting point is 00:03:20 Megan Mullally. Yes, I was literally. And then I remember I was hearing during the table read, hearing your voice, I was like, this is for real. This is no joke, this is a real movie. Yeah, I know, I know. It was really cool. It was really fun, and I did, it did make me feel though, because, and it, like when I posted about it,
Starting point is 00:03:39 when I first started posting about it, which by the way, for all of you, it's on the Roku channel, and it is really, really funny. And you never know how something's gonna turn out. I have been in so many things full of funny people and funny scripts and then it just kinda goes, when it comes out, but this is really, really good. No, when I first watched it,
Starting point is 00:04:03 I was crying laughing with all of my friends. Yeah. And all of my friends, my family fucking loved it. It was hilarious. And it's just like a really really fun time. It really is. It's really funny. And it's, and it's, it's got a lot of,
Starting point is 00:04:19 it's one of my favorite kind of things because there's a lot of serious kind of social, socio-political points being made. Yes, yes. But they're like completely, favorite kind of things because there's a lot of serious kind of social Sociopolitical points being made. Yes, but they're like Completely they're like pills coated in sugar like you don't even notice that you're learning something or that a points being made Because it's just funny first. Yeah, and although it does like I've been to events afterwards actually it premiered at the Soho Film Festival. I don't know, I don't think you were there for that.
Starting point is 00:04:50 Were you there for that? I don't think I was there for that one. Yeah, yeah, it was at the Soho Film Festival. And it was actually two days after I got married. So I got married on June 10th, and then the next Sunday morning, got up, left the hotel, because we stayed in a hotel at night,
Starting point is 00:05:05 and got on a plane and went to New York to do this, which I was really kind of happy about. Like, I was very happy to get married, but I was like, but like the notion of like, oh wait, then get on a plane that someone else is paying for, which means first class, and fly to New York and have a hotel room to myself after virtually everyone in my life being around for four or five days.
Starting point is 00:05:28 Yes, yes. Ah, it was so nice. That sounds so glamorous. Yeah, yeah. And you just kind of get to, it's like a nice little excuse for some new time. No kidding, right, right. Sorry, mom, gotta go.
Starting point is 00:05:39 See ya, mom. Have a nice trip back to Illinois. Yes, yes. And then there was this screening lately, and I do find, because I do not think of myself this way, but I feel so fucking old around all these, like, amazing... this amazing comedic talent. And when I started posting about it, everyone was like,
Starting point is 00:06:01 holy shit, what a cast, you know, because it's Kit Berlant and Meg Stalter and Megan Mullally. And Benito Skinner. Yeah, Benito Skinner. And Benito, I kinda knew a little bit, but like, holy, he's somebody, and you too. If you could bet on people's showbiz careers,
Starting point is 00:06:21 like you can on a horse in a horse race, I would put so much money on both of you guys. Oh, my God, I'm going to tell my parents that because they like you. Yeah. All right. Good. Well, let's get let's get you let's get to your parents. Yeah. Let's rip those to a new let's fucking roast Comedy Central style. They're going to I want to make them cry. Oh, do you like roasts?
Starting point is 00:06:46 No, I'm too sensitive. I hate roasts. I was just asked about them recently and I've been asked to do a number of them and I'm just like, A, I don't wanna go like just shit on somebody. Even if they're kind of not a great person. Same, same, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:00 And then also too, what you forget, or maybe you don't forget, is that you are going there to be shat upon too. Yes, same. And then also too, what you forget, or maybe you don't forget, is that you are going there to be shat upon too. Yes, yes. Because all of the shitters are target. And I just think, I don't need that in my life. Me neither. I mean, I feel like in the moment I would be like,
Starting point is 00:07:19 that's so funny, yes, I love it. Afterwards I'd cry and think about it for years and have a grudge for years to come. It's like I... Nikki Glaser does them, and she's a friend of mine, and she's one of the funniest people in the world, and she's fantastic at roasting. She's so good at roasting. Because a lot of times roasting, too, is just a formula.
Starting point is 00:07:39 It's a math. It's like there's math to it. It's algebra. There's variables. You plug them in and then you get equals punchline. And she is masterful at it. She's amazing at it. But then you hear her talk about it too and she's like, oh yeah, many times I leave from them completely crushed and hurt. Like, you know, like, oh yes, it's an affirmation of all my deepest insecurities
Starting point is 00:08:04 about myself and my physicality and who I am. And it's like, but you keep going back. I don't know. It's like, I don't know what it is. We're desperately needy people. I know, yeah. I know. I just would be, I don't want that even in my brain. I want to live in la la delusional, just that kind of space.
Starting point is 00:08:23 I'm beautiful and hilarious and smart, and everyone thinks so. Everyone agrees. The universe agrees. Yes, saying it into a mirror, crying, smashing the mirror. Holding another mirror that you're sma... Holding a different mirror, smashing them. Exactly. Now, you're from the Bay Area.
Starting point is 00:08:41 And you are a twin. I am a twin. I'm identical. You're a gay twin. Gay, identical twin. Now I actually, because in my life, you're like either fourth or fifth set of gay twins that I've known throughout my life. Mm-hmm. And I mean, and I actually, in thinking about this, I went to look it up because I
Starting point is 00:09:03 was like, is it, is it just like my perception of it? But it is, it is like kind of identical twins. If one of them is gay, odds are, and I mean, not big odds. I think it's like in the 50s, higher 50s, 60% that both of you are, which is, you know, which is a really good nature versus nurture sort of. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:29 Absolutely, so you know the study. You know the study, yes. I do, I do, yeah. But I mean, in looking at it online, there are other ones that, well, first of all, too, the language is awesome. Like when you get to the actual study, it's like, I don't know, zygomatic and all,
Starting point is 00:09:44 you know, I can't keep all the jargon straight. But it does really, and like I said, in my own life, I have known, and also like a couple of times known somebody that in my life, friend, coworker, who's gay, and then like years later find out, oh, you have a gay twin, you know? So it just seems very common.
Starting point is 00:10:07 It's very common. It's very common. Is that hurtful, that it's common? I mean, honestly, what the fuck? Yeah, we were the only ones. There goes my fucking feature. You know, um, no, I, uh, after we came out, it was like, uh, and, and we kind of will,
Starting point is 00:10:26 people know that I'm gay and I have an identical gay twin. So many other friends of mine are gay and have a gay twin and I know other sets of gay twins and it's a very interesting, specific experience. Yeah, yeah. Yes, because my brother and I, we were very similar growing up. What's your brother's name? I'm sorry, I forget.
Starting point is 00:10:46 Max. Max. Yes. And I met him recently too. At Otsuko. Yes, yes, yes. Otsuko had a party. Yes, at the Lunar New Year party.
Starting point is 00:10:55 Yes, she had a great Lunar New Year party. Yes, yes. So we were both kind of like, as little kids, we were very flamboyant and similar, but then we grew up and then middle school, we kind of like as little kids, we were very flamboyant and similar, but then we grew up and then middle school, we kind of fought and you know, and in high school we fought because we were in the closet. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:13 But- Do you think that was the source of it or do you think it was just forging your own identities? A combination of both 100%. Yeah. Because I imagine it's gotta be a lot. Yes, yes. You know?
Starting point is 00:11:27 And you know, we're both competing for a mom's attention and we both do all the same. Like we both did piano, we both did gymnastics and we like grew up competing and having like same identity as like the two twins. Right. So we kind of, I actually like tried to like be like, I'm different from my brother, I'm emo, I'm alt.
Starting point is 00:11:48 I'm not like, and my brother was very classical. He played a oboe for classical music, oboe. And so we were trying to like forge our identities, but when we came out to each other, the way I did it TMIMI was I was driving in the car and I was like most porno watches of guys. And he was like, same. And I'm like, and you guys had not discussed it prior to that?
Starting point is 00:12:13 Not really. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he actually did come up to me sophomore year and be like, I think I might be half attracted to girls and half attracted to guys. And I was like, oh, I might be half attracted to girls and half attracted to guys. And I was like, ew! Don't say that again, ew! I've seen you do this in your act, yeah, yeah. That's literally kind of how I responded. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:12:32 And was that hard for him? Like, did it hurt or was he kind of used to you saying ew to things that he said? He was used to the ew and he was like, okay, well, I'm going to bed, goodnight bitch. And then, yeah, so that's kind of how that went. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, but so when, to get going to bed. Good night, bitch. Right, right. Yeah, so that's kind of how that went. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, but so when to get back to when you both kind of decided like,
Starting point is 00:12:50 well, yeah, cats out of the bag. Yes, yes, yes. We yeah, we're driving in the car and we realize, oh, yeah, we're both gay. Both both mostly watch gay porn. I guess now we're going to come out to our mom and dad next. Yeah. And, you know, how do, and then we did it as a pair. Yeah, wow.
Starting point is 00:13:11 Yeah. And did you think that was easier? Or do you think, or was it difficult in the first place? It was like, I have a gay son and when he, it was not, like, there, it was not, it wasn't, you know. Yeah. It was like, hey, dad wasn't, you know. I was like, hey dad, okay, you know. Like I said, yeah, I've said this before, like he told me and my ex-wife when he was about 11, and he told her a few days before.
Starting point is 00:13:37 And it was a very sort of, you know, he said, you know what, he asked me, do you know what bisexual or gay is? I said, yeah, yeah I do. And he said, I think I might be that is? I said, yeah, yeah, I do. And he said, I think I might be that. And I said, okay, well, thank you for telling me. And then as I say, we haven't spoken about it since. Because, you know, it was like, he's got to, you know,
Starting point is 00:13:58 he's got to forge his own life. And I, you know, and then as like when he, and he's had the same boyfriend since he was 16. Oh wow. Yeah, and he's 23 now. Wow. But like when they started dating, it was so obvious they were dating.
Starting point is 00:14:12 But they were, he's like, no, we're just hanging out. And then finally, you know, like he was mad at his mom for talking about it to somebody else. And he called me and said, tell mom to keep her fucking mouth shut. Oh, and by the way, yeah, we are dating. We're, yeah, he's my boyfriend, you know? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:30 So, but, I mean, was it at all bumpy? I think my brother and I were very fortunate that we grew up in the Bay Area, which is for the most part very liberal. Parents went to UC Berkeley and stuff, so parents, they were accepting, and also our immediate family and friends were, it was easier than we expected.
Starting point is 00:14:51 And we would come out as a duo. So that honestly made it a little bit easier. Sure, safer, yeah. Safety in numbers. Yeah, safety in numbers. It's like if you don't take one of us, you don't take both of us. And was your school,
Starting point is 00:15:05 like was your school a pretty open place? Were like, were there kids, gay kids there? Yeah, so my school, I went to a public school and there was a GSA that I was a part of as an ally. But for the, it was like, and some kids were homophobic and if you were out, you would like face getting teased or bullied. But there was a community of queer kids
Starting point is 00:15:29 who you could have the support of. I just felt like me and my brother were so shy and so we couldn't defend ourselves. We didn't have that muscle. We don't have that roast thing. So we just... It's amazing to hear that you guys were shy. Yeah, we were.
Starting point is 00:15:47 I know I should be used to this by now because I know so many performers who... And I'm kind of slightly shy outside in the world, you know? But it is, like, it's just particularly funny to think that you guys were like, too shy to really, you know, be out out. I know, because now we're insane. It's like we've really gone the exact opposite.
Starting point is 00:16:09 That's what I was getting at. Yes, yes, we're medicated. And we, but yeah, we felt like we couldn't defend ourselves against like people hurling comments and stuff. So we just kind of kept it in our circle of friends that we were both out, but there were kids in our high school that were out and vocal and proud and we just kind of like admired them from afar like, that's so cool you can sing, like do that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:38 Can't you tell my love's a grown woman? Is it all, I mean, because as we were talking about before, like to be an identical twin is all like to forge your own identity. But then when you start to, when your identities have so many similarities, does it complicate that sort of differentiation process that you might want? Or are you guys okay with, you know, being a lot alike, you know? Yes, yes, it did definitely complicated. We had all the same interests. We both did piano.
Starting point is 00:17:14 We both did like like the same sports. And so when we wanted to, for like, we were always known as the, you know, pair of as the pair of twins. The pair of twins. And only our very close friends knew it's like, oh, Dylan is a little more crazy and blah, blah, blah. And Max is a little more buttoned up. They would know the slight differences.
Starting point is 00:17:36 But it was really helpful that we went to different colleges. Oh yeah. That we could be established and kind of form our own identity separate from each other. And when people found out we had a twin, it was like a shock, like what? You have, there's a duplicate? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:52 No. But I mean, so you start separating tracks, but you're both end up being comedy performers. My brother is actually, he plays the oboe primarily. Oh, he does. Yes. See, I thought he also did comedy too somewhat. I forced him to do comedy videos with me. So that's what you see.
Starting point is 00:18:09 That's what I'm seeing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, does he do them willingly? Like, does he like doing comedy? He does, and I have actually encouraged him to start stand-up improv acting classes on the side. And he enjoys it. And he, you know, seems to be, you know, liking the side. And he enjoys it. And he seems to be liking it and wants to continue doing it.
Starting point is 00:18:30 And I'm happy that he is. Yeah, yeah. And is he proud of you and what you've accomplished, do you think? I think so, yes. I think so. Like, you know, there always will be a little bit of twin jealousy.
Starting point is 00:18:41 And Eve, like, you know, when I was a kid, when he, he felt, I felt like he knew what he wanted and his path so clearly. He was a really brilliant oboe player and he would get solos and he was really praised and I didn't, I was floundering around. I didn't know what I was particularly good at yet. And I feel like I found it a little later in life
Starting point is 00:19:04 about performing and stuff, but I was like I found it a little later in life about performing and stuff but I was like slightly jealous that he could find he found his path earlier and I think maybe when I found my path in comedies too like maybe slightly like oh man maybe that sounds cool too I wish I could but you know for the most part we we like talk it out and yeah. Are you guys like your closest? Yeah, we call each other every day. I'm gonna call him after this. Oh cool, does he live here in LA?
Starting point is 00:19:32 He lives in Tucson, Arizona. Oh in Tucson, wow. Yeah, he plays. And he plays with the symphony there? Yes, Tucson Symphony Orchestra. Well see also too, you probably had insecurities because he was on the oboe fast track. Yeah. And the oboe was just like a money printer.
Starting point is 00:19:47 You know? When you got the oboe in your back pocket, the world is your oyster. Literally, it's like he might as well have cured cancer to go down that oboe track, a universally praised thing. Did he go to a conservatory kind of school? Yes. He went to Eastman School of Music and University of Rochester.
Starting point is 00:20:12 I went to NYU and we both were competitive divers and competed against each other. Oh my gosh. Wow. D3. That's fantastic. Yeah. Wow. Was that fun or was it like, was there like an ugly kind of like,
Starting point is 00:20:28 I'm going to do more triple axels or whatever the hell they're called. Yes, yes, half, oh that's skating. Half, half fun, yeah, come on Andy, you have a gay son. What are those flippy dippy things? Yeah, exactly. There's water, it's frozen, or you're jumping into it.
Starting point is 00:20:44 You know, I don't know. Yeah, it. There's water, it's frozen, or you're jumping into it. I don't know. Yeah, it was half fun, because our parents could come to the... Yeah, yeah. But also half. A twofer. A twofer, exactly. A twofer for your parents. It was a discount reel. Right, right. But also a little bit of...
Starting point is 00:20:58 Yeah, yeah. And who ended up winning one? I won one meter, and he won three meters. So it kind of worked out a little bit. Yeah. That's sweet actually. Yes, yes. Works out.
Starting point is 00:21:11 Now, because he kind of found it, I mean, I'm assuming he found a path earlier than you did. Was that rough for you? Like, was there times where you're kind of like, oh, fuck, what am I gonna do? Yeah, or I just felt there was like a little bit of envy that he felt that there was something that he really cared about that he was good at.
Starting point is 00:21:30 That he really cared about this and he was good at it. And he had like this group of people that he felt seen by, like he felt very at home in the classical music world. And I was doing water polo and fucking swimming. And I'm like not talking, like very shy and stuff. So I just felt like I would see him and I'm like, I wish I could find that. But we were both like still in the closet,
Starting point is 00:21:57 not really ourselves. Yeah, yeah. Did you have to leave high school before you kind of came out of that shell? Yes, I did. I did. Yeah. Because, you know, because it's, you know, it is like you do need to kind of reinvent yourself. Exactly. If you don't like what you're, where you are.
Starting point is 00:22:13 Yes, yes, yes. And I was, I was ready to get that, like, shed off that. Right, right. That, and I, when I, when I went right to college, I was happy that I could immediately be out and I was like a separate, I wasn't one of the twins. I was just, could establish my own identity, which was really nice. And did you have a scholarship for diving or?
Starting point is 00:22:39 I had a financial scholarship for academics. Oh, for academics, oh nice. So the diving was just like... It was just, I mean, D3, it was, they're not gonna offer any scholarship for you to do rinky-dink, D3. But it was just a side hobby. Is it demanding?
Starting point is 00:22:59 Like, is there a lot of practice when you're going to NYU and you're on the diving team? There was, there was. There was like a practice every day, but I really liked it because I was in the music school and I really enjoyed it, but the kids are like very introverted, very kind of. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:14 Weirdos. Yeah, freaks. A bunch of weirdos. Let's say it, freaks. They should not be allowed to live. Yes. But I just like to get around a different kind of energy of person. Sure, I can see that.
Starting point is 00:23:29 More extroverted. So I really liked being around different kinds of people. Yeah. My dad went his first, he went to college to be a music major. He thought he was going to be, which my dad is gay too by the way. Oh my gosh, wow. I'm surrounded by him. Oh my god. But he went to DePauw in Green Castle, Indiana. And I think he was on scholarship too. He was a very talented musician and singer, and he thought he was going to be a choir director. And the way he told me, he said, I got to music school,
Starting point is 00:24:00 and I realized I hated everyone in music school. So he just, yeah, he dropped out and ended up getting in the army and learning the Russian language. And that's... Oh, wow, that is the complete opposite. Yeah, yeah. Well, he tested high for language ability and then went to Monterey and was like, oh my God, from Springfield, Illinois
Starting point is 00:24:22 to Monterey Peninsula, California. He was like, whatever keeps me here the longest., Illinois to Monterey Peninsula, California. He was like, whatever keeps me here the longest. And it was Chinese or Russian. So he picked Russian and that became his job. Oh, that's incredible. But yeah, but I could see, music majors are a very particular kind of people.
Starting point is 00:24:37 It's a very particular kind of person that has like music going on in your head all the time. It's like a math thing. Yes, yes. And I consider, I mean, I love music and I wanted to compose musical theater. Is that what your goal was? Yes, yes, to be like Alan Menken or Steven Schwartz.
Starting point is 00:24:58 But I found myself so much more extroverted and wanting to connect to people and more than these music majors that just kind of wanted to beat lock themselves in a practice room for hours on end and write music. And I just would, I sometimes enjoyed that, but I would go insane. And so I felt like I needed to do something else. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:21 Yeah. That's like, I went to a small enough school, there weren't really theater kids. And I was kind of, you know, on the border of what would have been theater kids. Yeah. Yeah. But then I went away to a couple of like speech team camp, which was real theater kids. And I realized like, oh, no, this is... They're like, this is a lot.
Starting point is 00:25:43 You know? This is a lot. Yes, yes. I know. When you go to a place where it's like, oh, no, this is, they're like, this is a lot. You know? This is a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, when you go to a place where it's like, it's the extreme end of it, it's like, well, I like doing this on the side, but I'm not sure I'm full in on this kind of thing. And I'm kind of a dabbler anyway. You know, I'm like, I don't think any one thing that I like to do, I'm kind of like, eh, you know.
Starting point is 00:26:02 Yes, yes, yes. It's, you know, again, it's from being, it's having too many adults oversharing me with my, when I was young,, I'm kind of like, eh, you know. Yes, yes, yes. You know, again, it's from being, it's having too many adults oversharing me with my, when I was young that I'm always, everything I enjoy, I'm like, yeah, but just a little bit. Like, I better keep it at arm's length in case it gets too sweaty, you know. And in the music program, it was all avant-garde music.
Starting point is 00:26:21 So it wouldn't even, it would be like banging your head on the piano, banging head on the piano, like chalkboard screeching kind of sounds. And we had to sit through it and then give notes like, yeah, I really liked when you got naked and put your butt on the keys. And I thought that was a really interesting way to play the piano that's never been done before.
Starting point is 00:26:43 Oh, yeah, yeah. And I'm sure then too, if you have any sort of, because this is, I went to film this, That was a really interesting way to play the piano that's never been done before. Oh, yeah, yeah. And I'm sure then too, if you have any sort of, because this is, I went to film school and it was a similar sort of thing. If you show any kind of tendency towards like, well, actually I do kind of wanna have a point that gets across to people.
Starting point is 00:27:01 They're like, oh, sell out. That's so true. That's so true. Any hint yeah. That's so true. Any hint of like, I actually just kind of want to maybe try to make money. They're like, boo! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tomato.
Starting point is 00:27:11 I made this rhyme. Like, ew, you gross sell out. You know? Exactly. Yeah. Well, so at what point do you start to think, OK, I'm too funny to, you know, to not, you know, to hide my light under a bushel.
Starting point is 00:27:30 No, I'm gonna let it shine. And that's exactly what I told everyone in my program to their face and the Dean. This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine. Exactly. Yeah. I took an elective acting class, junior year. And there's- Wow, it took you all the way to junior year?
Starting point is 00:27:50 All the way to junior year. Wow. And I loved it so much. There was an improv comedy element and I just, I thought it was so much fun. And some kids from the class who really enjoyed it too, went to an improv jam at the People's Improv Theater in New York City.
Starting point is 00:28:05 Uh huh. And I immediately made friends and then... Was that your first experience outside of school with improv comedy? Yes. You hadn't gone to UCB or anything like that? No. Oh wow. And it was really scary because it's like, oh you're doing it and no one's telling you how to do it yet.
Starting point is 00:28:22 But I just, I thought it was so much, and I really, I connected with the people there more than the music kids, because they're a little more, they wanna hang out afterwards, they wanna talk, they're kind of friends, they have a more open energy, so I kind of made friends with these kinds of people more quickly,
Starting point is 00:28:41 and then we're like, let's do an open mic, let's try an open mic, and that's kind of how I got into stand up. Oh, cool. Yeah, that's that in this podcast, so often with creative people, such a major step, and it was for me, finding your tribe. I don't know any better way to put it.
Starting point is 00:28:59 Because when I, in Chicago, I went to film school, but then I started doing improv. So for a while, I'd have these hybrid film school improv, and the film school kids would all be with, you know, like having black fingernail polish and saying, why are they so loud? And I'd be like, well, cause it's kind of fun, you know? It's like really fun to be loud, you know?
Starting point is 00:29:23 Yes, yes, yes. You are of mixed heritage. I don't know if you knew that. Oh, what? You are, uh-huh. Okay. Yeah, your dad is Jewish, and your mom is Japanese. Yes.
Starting point is 00:29:40 And you use that a lot in your, I mean, you reference it, you know, a fair amount in your comedy. And was it something you felt a lot growing up? Or was it just, you know, I mean, is it... I know, growing up, I, because I grew up in kind of a... The city, like, I grew up, it was mostly like Hispanic and white.
Starting point is 00:30:03 Which town was it? San Rafael, California. up, it was mostly like Hispanic and white. My town. Which town was it? San Rafael, California. Yeah, sure. Uh-huh, so I, most kids thought of me as just full Asian. They didn't like think of me as mixed race. Oh, wow. And it was weird because I grew up in a very white part of the Bay Area.
Starting point is 00:30:19 But I was like, San Francisco, I was one bridge away from Asian Wakanda, pretty much. I was in Vermont, but one bridge away, it was fucking torture. I'm like, why can't we go there? And I grow up there. So I just kind of I didn't. It was when I went to the city and was around like more Asian friends. They're like, oh, yeah, you're definitely like mixed.
Starting point is 00:30:41 You're hoppa mixed Asian. But most kids just thought of it. What is Hapa? Hapa means mixed Asian. Oh, okay. In Japanese or? It's a whole, it comes from Hawaii. Oh, okay. Because there's a lot of mixed Asian people in Hawaii.
Starting point is 00:30:54 Yeah, yeah. And all different kinds of Asian. Absolutely, absolutely. So we kind of, that's why I kind of, people just thought I was full Asian until I actually went to New York in college and was around more of a, more Asians that they, I felt more that I pronounced that I was mixed and not monorotal. Oh really?
Starting point is 00:31:16 Yeah. And is there like, do they, is there, do you feel an othering because of that from the Asian kids? A little bit, yes. Cause like, you know, the white kids think I'm Asian, and then I go to the Asian kids and they're like, uh, you, you white, you're white. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:29 Yeah. Right. And I did feel like somewhat accepted by the Asian kids, though, and, like, felt like I made a lot of great friends, but there was still a little bit of, like, I'm like, you can't even speak Japanese. What the hell? I'm like, yeah, like, I'm like, you can't even speak Japanese, what the hell? I'm like, yeah, no, I, yeah, lo siento.
Starting point is 00:31:48 I don't know, I can't even. Yeah. Was it, was growing up or was it living in that area, was it tough on your mom? I mean, is she more Japanese, is more American Japanese American or more Japanese Japanese? She's very Japanese American. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:05 So my grandma, my Obachan grew up in California near in Monterey. Oh, wow. Yeah. Watsonville, California. Like fishing kind of was. Yes. So they grew carnations. Oh, wow. They grew carnations. They experienced internment and then they came back and started to like rebuild.
Starting point is 00:32:26 And my mom grew up pretty much, she was born in Tokyo, cause they went back, but my mom and my sister had asthma, cause the city was really congested. And so they recommended it's better growing up healthier to be in a more rural place. So they went back to California and grew carnations there. They made that decision after they had kids.
Starting point is 00:32:47 Yes. Yes, they did. Wow, wow, wow. That's amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Does your mom have much memory of growing up in Japan and Tokyo or no?
Starting point is 00:32:58 Not at all. They learned when she was one. Oh, okay, yeah. So she pretty much grew up mostly in California. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And, but so was it hard for her to be in white suburbia? I think, yes.
Starting point is 00:33:13 She just used to being a mayor. I think she was, like she grew up and, well she grew up in a town like Santa Fe where it's mostly Hispanic and white. So she kind of grew up, but there was also like a, she grew up around some Asian friends that she found like a lot of, that are her lifelong friends. And they're my like aunties, what I say.
Starting point is 00:33:34 Like, you know, they, and- Are they all Japanese or is it a mix? Japanese and Chinese and a mix, a mix. Oh wow. Yeah, but I felt fortunate because my parents had like a, they found like we, there weren't like that many Asian families or kids, but we all kind of found like each other and we, they're some of my like close family friends still and they still all get dinner, make dinners together and stuff.
Starting point is 00:33:59 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Are there parts of your personality that you say like, that's the Japanese part of me? And then there are other parts that are like the Jewish part of you? Like, are there some that's mom and some that's dad or? There's a war inside of me, Andy. There's a war. Well, you know, Japanese and Jewish, both have a great history here in America.
Starting point is 00:34:29 Oh my gosh. And around the world. And around the world, just Japan, colonizing all of Asia pretty much and all that. Right, right. But I, yes, I would say. I would say, but it's crazy because my mom is Japanese, but she is way louder and more boisterous and performative
Starting point is 00:34:49 than my dad, who is very quiet, grounded, Jewish doctor kind of guy. So, you know, typically you'd think Japanese more quiet and so you spoke about it. Especially the stereotype is of a very demure woman. Yes, yes, yes, but my mom. Can't let you see your teeth and things like that. Yes, yes, no, my mom is the top.
Starting point is 00:35:08 She really, she calls the shots. Good for your dad. I know, and my dad just takes it and is grounded, and it's like, yes, yes, yes, Josh. Yeah. She'll pull hairs off of him, like, oh, you have a hair, and he'll just be like, I just...
Starting point is 00:35:22 Whatever, what are you gonna do? What can you do? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. like, oh, you have a hair. And he'll just be like, I just... Whatever, what are you gonna do? What can you do? Yeah. Yeah. Well, when do you start to get out into the world and, you know, start, you know, saying, I'm gonna do this for a living?
Starting point is 00:35:41 Yeah. I, um, I would do... I started doing stand-up and improv at the same time. And I fell in love with stand-up really. Mm-hmm. What was the, what did you like about that? What was the difference? What do you think appealed to you more about the stand-up? I love that you can work, that there was something tangible that you could work on out when you weren't on stage. I see. Improv was so fun, but it just went away immediately. It's ephemeral. It goes right out into the night air.
Starting point is 00:36:08 Exactly. And it's like, am I getting better? It's, I don't know if I'm improving, but like stand up. There is this kind of thing where you could really track if like, okay, this material is doing better and better and better. And if I drop this, there was like a bit more of a gauge that I felt it was a little more tangible, that I could feel myself get better more than with improv.
Starting point is 00:36:31 Right. Yeah. And you needed that sort of sense of progress that was tangible quickly. Yes, yes, yes, 100%. And I was teaching piano, like dog walking, doing piano accompanying during this whole time. Not at the same time, I hope.
Starting point is 00:36:50 All at the same time. This was my avant-garde theater roots. Wow. Yes, yeah. And in the Bay Area, or was this in New York? This was in New York. In New York, okay. This was in New York.
Starting point is 00:37:01 So after school you stayed in New York? After school, stayed in New York. Yeah. And I would work in the day, do comedy at night, and I was just addicted. I would do like five open mics a day and just kind of like, you know, but I was, I loved it.
Starting point is 00:37:15 And it was like, I was, it was something that I loved to do and felt very drawn to. Still wasn't making that much money doing it. And then the pandemic kind of hit. And then I realized I'm like, oh, I guess everyone's doing online stuff. I have to put more stuff online. And that's when I got my first manager by putting stuff online.
Starting point is 00:37:39 Yeah. On TikTok or Instagram or Twitter? And TikTok, Twitter, Instagram. All of them together. Yeah. Yes, yes, yes. And was that easy? Like, did you like it right away? Because it is the, I mean, I feel the same thing, where I'm like, I should probably,
Starting point is 00:37:53 because you think like, I should rather just sit here and watch, you know, watch Devil's Advocate again, just to hear Keanu Reeves' accent change. Maybe I should do something that'll forward my career. So I think, you know, I should do some of these videos, but then it's like, I don't, I just, I don't know. It feels like a chore and I hate it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:16 And I still do, yes. And it's also, there's so much get-a-load-of-me to it that I just, I'm just not that comfortable with. I mean, you know? I mean, what I like about standup is that you can change it. You can, and there you can go on stage and it's not, it doesn't have to be the final product. Online content, you like post it.
Starting point is 00:38:38 You're like, this is it. And you, and you can't, like you can delete it if you want, but it's not like you're're editing the things that you say. And also, you're really showing your ass. If you pull something, do another take of it, and there are gonna be people who are like, oh, so you didn't like the first one, huh? You know?
Starting point is 00:39:01 Yeah, that's dangerous. Yeah, dangerous. I agree. It does feel a bit more humiliating. Yeah. Put out a video that and I never know if it's going to work like stand up. Yeah. But for someone who likes tangible results, Jesus Christ, there's numbers. You know what I mean? Yes. Yes, that's true. There is there are numbers to reflect that something is working and this, but it does feel less, yeah, it does feel a little less fun
Starting point is 00:39:30 than like, you know, coming up, trying to write a joke or a song. Right, right. When you're starting out and you sort of have this bifurcated improv standup, did you find differences in your peer groups? Like, did you find differences in the peer groups, you know, since we're talking about, you know,
Starting point is 00:39:47 the music kids and then you get to the comedy kids and then the comedy kids split off. 1000%. And how was that experience and how do you feel about the two different groups? I know, cause improv is very, you know, everyone is doing bits, everyone is high energy, everyone is like kind of, you know, more positive
Starting point is 00:40:04 and everyone in standup was like, I want to kill myself. Yeah, I am on. I'm ba ba ba. And I'm like, you know, the war in me, there are two sides of myself that are like that. You know, so I did feel like I like the improv positivity and stuff and all that stuff. But I did like in standup that you could be very honest and just kind of talk about darker things. And I love dark humor too.
Starting point is 00:40:29 Right, right, right. And was there also sort of like when you're hanging out with stand-ups, is there like less pressure to be funny that you feel where you can really be off the clock? Kind of? I still felt there was a pressure to be funny, but it's different. It's not like,
Starting point is 00:41:05 a-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b Because I'm just, when you and I hit a turning point and I went the improv path, like the notion of doing, I kind of dabbled a little in standup, but improv to me was just, it felt so much more fun and so much more freeing. And I liked, and I've said this before, I don't, I'm not, like, I don't care. I don't like being on stage by myself. Like, I just, it's like, it's not why I'm there, you know?
Starting point is 00:41:26 I'm there for the experience of having fun with other people. Yes. And... Every time I did improv, I'd be like, get off, get off, get off, get off! So, that's good that you had a different experience. Can I get a spotlight, please? Please, spotlight.
Starting point is 00:41:39 Now bring the other one, everything else down. Give music. Yeah. But I always just, and I also, too, like, I would have these qualitative sort always just, and I also too, like I would have these qualitative sort of things. And I still kind of feel it too a little bit. Like you see it, like in the early days of Twitter,
Starting point is 00:41:55 I had so many friends who were standups who were like, why are you just giving all these jokes away? And I was just like, well, cause it's fun. And it's like, it's not hurting me. And I guess maybe if I was a standup and had an act that I would have been a little more protective, but I just knew so many standups who I would say to them, why aren't you on Twitter being funny? And they're just like, you know, why, you know, I'm a baker. Why would I put bread out on the doorstep?
Starting point is 00:42:26 You know, like, I mean, it's good. You gotta come into the shop and buy it, you know? Yeah, I think that's a more healthy way to be your, like, kind of more, I guess, selfless and like, I'm giving this, I feel there's gonna be more stuff to come. Absolutely, that's, my point was always, I can make more. Like, I can make more. And I mean, and I, because, and I don't know, that's not even like, there's not like,
Starting point is 00:42:50 not a lot of swagger to it. It's just like, it's also kind of like, it's, they're just jokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like, you sit with a funny friend, and most people, most funny people that I know can sit with a funny friend and come up just from bullshitting with like money. Like material that's worth money, you know?
Starting point is 00:43:12 But you're just having fun, you know? You're just doing it for each other, you know? True, true. Well, now I also wanna talk about, you co-wrote and co-starred in a show called, I love this title, Rape Victims Are Horny Too. Hell yes, plug, with my good friend Kelly Bachman. Kelly Bachman.
Starting point is 00:43:33 Brilliant comedian. And I never saw the show, but I read about it, and I really do, I do think that there, I think it's, I love the idea that you can like do the most sort of the darkest lemons into dark lemonade. And I do think that that's something that is missed out on a lot. And I'm not one to say like,
Starting point is 00:44:00 oh, you can't say anything more, but there is a sensitivity that does kind of stifle things sometimes nowadays. And I do think that there is something very cathartic and very real for funny people to take the worst thing that happens to them and laugh about it. I think that's like,
Starting point is 00:44:20 that is one of the most primal flipping the bird to death, you know? Like you're looking at the worst thing that can happen and you're going like, you know what? I think this is funny. You know? I mean, it's an incredibly, I find life affirming thing. But I imagine it was like you caught some heat
Starting point is 00:44:44 for this show. First of all, tell a little bit about the show. Yes. So the show came from my friend Kelly Bachman, brilliant stand-up comedian in New York. She is the one who called out Harvey Weinstein at the New York show. Oh, wow. I know her. Sure. And she's so funny. And she got a lot of attention and press for this moment.
Starting point is 00:45:07 So she produced a show for the New York Comedy Festival called Rape Jokes by Survivors. And she invited me to do a set because she'd seen me do material about my own experience as a survivor. So we really connected and we felt like our comedy voices were very similar because we were, we like to, we were like high energy and like to inject kind of joy and fun into very dark material. So we sat down and we're like,
Starting point is 00:45:38 what if we wrote an entire show about this? And writing that show with her was truly one of the most cathartic kind of experiences because it was so like just talking with her about experiences that we both had and you know the kind of the complexity of the feeling but then also the trying to inject humor and laughter and joy into it was so healing for both of us. Yeah. And we, when in performing it, we found it really cathartic.
Starting point is 00:46:10 And I think some other people also did find it cathartic because, you know, some other people also have dark humor and humor is like a coping mechanism. But definitely some people who were survivors were like, no, this was triggering. I didn't like this, this is not my way of coping with it, which totally valid. Like, everyone has like a different way coping with things that have happened to them, but this was kind of me and Kelly's way.
Starting point is 00:46:36 We have a dark sense of humor, we like to be joyful and playful, and like a kid likes them. And so we kind of injected, like wanted to inject that into like very dark material, into very like dark experiences that we don't always like to go to. And it was really, really, really great experience.
Starting point is 00:46:54 Yeah. And is it both of you on stage, like just kind of, was it a narrative thing or was it like sort of co-standup sort of? It was a narrative thing of us both being on stage doing original songs. Some of us sometimes she'll do her own jokes. Sometimes I'll do my own jokes or songs, but it kind of had a little through line in a narrative.
Starting point is 00:47:15 And it's something I'm really proud that we did. Yeah. And did it did did it do things for you? I mean, did it open doors in addition to, you know, because you did the online, you had the manager, and then this happens. Yes, yes. So it did somewhat. Like I'd say, we did this thing called the Yes and Laughter Lab, which is this kind of comedy lab that we did through it.
Starting point is 00:47:36 And it did help a little bit, but I would say not as much as other comedy videos, like CareerWise or like doing packets. And then I don't think I got the writing job for The Late Late Show because of that. Because of that, yeah. But it was... Is it hard? Was it hard for people in the business to go like, oh, this...
Starting point is 00:47:56 This rape makes people horny thing, right? Isn't it? I don't know about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or just, it's kind of like not something that I'd be like, if I were to submit for a job, I'd be like, big victims are horny too, that's my whole thing. That's all I talk about, that's all the jokes I'm gonna pitch. So get ready, you guys.
Starting point is 00:48:13 Sorry. Yeah. Donald Trump who? I don't know who that is. Donald Trump who? I don't know. Monologue jokes. How about jokes about trauma? You know, stuff. So it wasn't something that really helped, I would say. Sure, yeah. But it was something that me and my friend Kelly are really proud of and
Starting point is 00:48:31 that we're really happy that we did. And it was really healing for us because it was like a spot in our life where we felt like it was very like, you know, I'm not like we couldn't like, how could we find joy or kind of like light out of this? But it was kind of to be able to go there and then find like gems that could make us laugh and maybe make other people laugh was really, really cool.
Starting point is 00:48:55 And also I bet you it makes things that will happen down the road, creative things seem easier because you chose a mountain and you climbed it, you know, with a friend, in a way that you're satisfied and that you feel fulfilled by. So, yeah, that's great. So you did, you worked for James Corden. Was that your first kind of like,
Starting point is 00:49:16 can quit dog walking kind of thing? First real job. Yeah, yeah. And what was your experience with that? How did you like working on a late night show? I really had a great experience because the writers and James too was so, they were very kind and they were very welcoming and there was not really a feeling of like competitive like SNL. I'm
Starting point is 00:49:39 good. Like there was a very like I'm gonna help the new, let's, like a lot of the writers, Cece Pleasance, like a lot of the writers, C.C. Pleasance, like a lot of other senior writers, Ian Carmelo and Greenberg were like, let's help the new writers and get them good, make them feel like they're welcomed and that they have a good people that they could talk to. And I felt lucky because I'm a musical theater gay
Starting point is 00:50:02 and James Corden kind of is. So, I'm like, I can do all this musical theater stuff and pitch all these jokes, and, you know, that's... James loves that kind of thing, so I felt like I could, you know, pitch and do some of that kind of stuff. No, I've referred to it as the camp gene. You either have it or you don't. And there's like, and I have it, and I do, you know, I, like, I'm not like a terrifically campy performer
Starting point is 00:50:29 myself, but I can really love the shit out of some camp stuff. Yeah. And so, yeah, I mean, I can see how that would make a, like, it'd be probably a lot harder to have, like, for you to have worked for, like, Craig Kilborn today. Yes, yes. You know, like, just to pick someone off the top of your head.
Starting point is 00:50:45 To pick someone, absolutely. Or you're, you know, Bill Mars even. I don't know, you know. Maybe they won't do singing and dancing like. I don't think Bill knows what jazz hands are. You know? Yes, yes, yes. He's never heard of Follies or you know, this kind of.
Starting point is 00:51:00 So I felt happy that, you know, kind of my things that I loved in Sentiments matched with, you know, the star of the show. So I was fortunate there. So what are you doing? What are you doing nowadays? I mean, how are you making it out there? The way I'm sustaining is one commercial. Really? Yes. Yes. Which commercial? Walmart.
Starting point is 00:51:23 Oh my, I'm not aware of it. It was actually so much fun to be a part of. It was like a play on a Hallmark movie called Add to Heart. And it shot for three weeks and it was basically a Hallmark. Three weeks? Three weeks! Oh my god! Three weeks.
Starting point is 00:51:39 That's crazy. Crazy. And for Walmart. For Walmart. I got to play a gay best friend for Walmart. I'm like, okay Walmart. For Walmart. Oh my God. I got to play a gay best friend for Walmart. I'm like, okay Walmart. Yeah. All right Walmart.
Starting point is 00:51:48 Wow. Progressive. And it was so fun. I really loved the people I worked with. I gotta look that up. That sounds great. Yes. It's all on TikTok and Roku, our beloved Roku.
Starting point is 00:51:57 Okay. Yes. Okay. But that is kind of what I've, you know, been up to recently trying trying to write and act and do stand-up as much as I can. Do you chore stand-up? Do you do that kind of thing? Yes. I opened for my friend Atsuko Okatsuka, who's been on the podcast. Yep. And I've seen... Did you get to go to Asia with her?
Starting point is 00:52:17 No, I wish. Because I know she was in Taiwan. Yes, she was in Taiwan, Japan. I wish. I've actually never been out of the country. Oh, wow. I wish. I've actually never been out of the country. Oh, wow. Yeah. So I, but I think she'll be touring some time again in the fall. Yeah. And I think I might be-
Starting point is 00:52:32 She just couldn't take anybody with her. Did she have local warm-up or- I think she had local warm-up. It's just the expenses a little- Sure, of course. Yeah. But opening for her has been so much fun. Yeah. She's so funny. So funny. So funny. And like to just, like her, you know,
Starting point is 00:52:47 I was first aware of her because there's the tape of her on stage during an earthquake. And it was just like, hey, you know, on the internet, you know, going through the feed of whatever it was, Instagram or whatever, like, hey, here's this comedian on stage, you know, being funny. And she was so fucking funny.
Starting point is 00:53:09 She was so funny during the earthquake. When the earthquake hit the stage. And then I just followed her and then we kinda, you know, she's been on this podcast. Yeah. And now to just see, like, it's just so, it's really amazing sometimes to see somebody that's really funny.
Starting point is 00:53:27 And then like to think they're really funny. And then like the world goes, oh, yeah, they're really funny. It is. It is. So great. Because I was opening for her like in twenty twenty one and she was doing a hundred seaters and all that stuff now opening for her. She is selling out feet like four thousand seaters. Yeah. And I'm like, it is so cool to see, like, because I've been a fan of hers for so long.
Starting point is 00:53:49 And it's so cool to see, like, now the world is seeing, like, how brilliant she is. And those size rooms, too, are like the sweet spot because they get bigger and it kind of gets, you know, like really big, really big rooms for comedy, I think, are like, it's not the same feeling. There isn't the kind of intimacy that there isn't in, I mean, you know, but God bless her.
Starting point is 00:54:13 You know, Madison Square Garden, let's do it. Yeah. Absolutely, absolutely. Yeah, so she's been a great mentor, along with like Chelsea Peretti and those people. But you don't just like go and do the, you know... I will be touring this summer, so I am. I am going to tour this summer.
Starting point is 00:54:30 And how do you feel about that? Like, do you like it? Are you nervous? Yeah. I'm like, I hope people come and I hope I sell tickets, you know, and you know... I think you, I mean, you know, I think you will. Okay, thank you. I mean, well, but I mean, you know, you know, people know who you are, you know? Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:54:47 And I'm sure that there's a lot of places where people know who you are and they don't, you know, whatever. In Nebraska, in Omaha, they don't, you know, they don't get a chance to see you, so I'm sure that there's a lot of people there. Huge following in Omaha, Nebraska, specifically the gay Asian community there.
Starting point is 00:55:02 Oh, my God. You didn't just say gaysian. It's a real big time saver. The gaysian, I mean, you know, you've had Jill Kim Booster on the there. Oh my God. You can just say gay-sian. It's a real big time saver. I mean, you know, you've had Jill Kim Booster on this. I certainly have. Yes. Yeah. Well, what do you, like, do people seek out advice?
Starting point is 00:55:15 And if they do, like, what do you, like, what do you, what kind of advice do you give them? What do you think people learn from this? I have found, and this is advice I try to tell myself too, a lot, but I found early on doing standup and improv that the ego will inflate and deflate all the time. It's just through the hours, you know, just like good show. In a day you can feel like the hottest shit in the world
Starting point is 00:55:43 and then feel like garbage two hours later. Oh my gosh, yes, that just happened to me yesterday. And so I think I try to remind myself that the ego, when it comes to a creative career, the inflation and deflation of the ego is the constant of the equa, it's the K of the math equation. It's just like the math equation. Right, right, right.
Starting point is 00:56:05 It's like, it's just like the tides. Yes. And if it manifests itself in maybe, you know, oh, a jealousy maybe, or feeling incompetent, or maybe feeling like, you know, wanting to be included in this and not, or feeling, you know, maybe like, oh, I don't know if I can do this, I can,
Starting point is 00:56:24 I feel very unsure of this, that know, maybe like, oh, I don't know if I can do this. I can, I feel very unsure of this. That is just to like, that is just to accept that the ego will do that. And just focus on what you can, which is trying to get better and better at what you do. And what deep down do you really want to say? What feels important to you? What relationships feel important to you? And put energy on that, do you really want to say what feels important to you? What relationships feel important to you?
Starting point is 00:56:46 And put energy on that that you can control because the inflation, like deflation of ego is you can't control that and you can't put much thought or energy into that. And you can't trust either extreme. True. Yeah. It's true. Like that's, I always try to remember like,
Starting point is 00:57:07 when you feel like you're a piece of shit, and then when you feel like you're the greatest thing ever, they're both equally true and untrue. Yes, it's true. So you can't, you know, like, that isn't to say like, no, you've gotta think you're the greatest thing in the world because that's a recipe for disaster. You can't trust either because it's just like you may feel that or you may feel like, I'm great, I suck, but it's not, you're somewhere in the middle of that.
Starting point is 00:57:38 And just try to keep getting better and better at what you can control. And I do think too, like one thing, and it took me a long time to learn, is that you gotta talk nice to yourself. Yeah. I mean, there was a point in my life where I just realized I would think about people in my life that talk bad to me, talk mean to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:08 I don't wanna do anything for those people. Yes. Like when they're, like their criticisms and the way that they make me feel like shit, I think like, well, fuck you. I don't wanna validate you. Yes, yes. I just mentioned it, like,
Starting point is 00:58:21 cause on my car, I drive a Honda, uh, I mean a Toyota Highlander. And this morning when I went to my car and it's like got dings, it's like, you know, it's like a kid car. It's like very utilitarian. There's a giant dog, there's dog slobber all over it. Somebody had tucked in a little card that said like, we give cash for your old trashed car. And I said, I, I said on, like, we give cash for your old trashed car. And I said, I said on... That was Nikki Glaser. I was like, well, no, I said it. It's like there was a guy on Instagram,
Starting point is 00:58:56 watch, I posted a video, and in the comments, the guy was like, man, your weight is out of control. Call me, I'm a trainer. Oh, my, yeah, what the fuck? Oh, yeah, I want to pay you money to spend time with you, guy that says mean shit about me. Yes, yes. And so I think about people that say mean shit to me,
Starting point is 00:59:12 I'm say fuck you. People that say nice stuff for me, I wanna do things for them. Yes. I want to perform for them. I want to raise myself to their standard that they see in me. And so it only makes sense for my interior dialogue
Starting point is 00:59:32 to myself and monologue to be kind. Yes, 100%. You know, it is like, and I also, you know, it's like you got in the world and you're like, I deserve love. And then you go home and you're like, you fucking garbage. You're a piece of shit.
Starting point is 00:59:49 You know, it doesn't make any sense. Yeah. Yeah. No, but that is very, being as kind, being like trying to be as kind as you can is so important and good because it goes a long way. And even if you're having a shitty day, just to try to like to put out a good energy to people you're working with and people who you meet,
Starting point is 01:00:10 that's very important. And it can't hurt. Yes, it can't hurt. It certainly can't hurt. It can't hurt, yeah. Well, Dylan, thank you so much for coming in. Thank you so much for having me, Andy. And this has been a real joy talking to you.
Starting point is 01:00:23 And I'm getting to know you a little more. And... I'm a big fan of you. Oh, thank you. And so I'm honored that I was asked to be on this podcast. Well, I was glad to have you. You honor us with your presence. That's so true.
Starting point is 01:00:40 Yes, exactly. And thank all of you out there for listening and I'll be back next week with more of The Three Questions. Goodbye. The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco production. It is produced by Sean Doherty and engineered by Rich Garcia. Additional engineering support by Eduardo Perez and Joanna Samuel.
Starting point is 01:01:02 Executive produced by Nick Leow, Adam Sacks, and Jeff Ross. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Battista, with assistance from Maddie Ogden. Research by Alyssa Grahl. Don't forget to rate and review and subscribe to The Three Questions with Andy Richter wherever you get your podcasts. And do you have a favorite question you always like to ask people? Let us know in the review section. Can't you tell my love's a-growin'? Can't you feel it ain't a-showin'? Oh, you must be a-knowin'. I've got a big, big love.
Starting point is 01:01:34 This has been a Team Coco production.

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