The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Flula Borg: Weird Injuries (The Andy Richter Call-In Show Re-Release)

Episode Date: March 27, 2026

This week, we're looking back at Andy's 2024 Call-In Show taping with the very funny Flula Borg! In this episode of Andy’s weekly SiriusXM radio show, they're talking WEIRD INJURIES! You'll hear about a sneeze gone wrong, a donkey named Jingles, the dangers of churro-making, and much more.  Want to call in? Fill out our Google Form at BIT.LY/CALLANDYRICHTER or dial 855-266-2604.  
This episode previously aired on SiriusXM’s Conan O’Brien Radio (ch. 104). If you’d like to hear these episodes in advance, new episodes premiere exclusively for SiriusXM subscribers on Conan O’Brien Radio and the SiriusXM app every Wednesday at 4pm ET/1pm PT. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Oh yeah. Hello everybody. Andy Richter here. Time for the Andy Richter calling show. It's the show where you call in. We talk about stuff. You tell us stories. And we, meaning me and my co-host, we try not to make fun of you, but it does happen. I have to be upfront. Sometimes we will make fun of you. But we do it with love, which is what everyone who's an asshole says. I do it with love. And then it's like, no, you don't. You do it for your own purposes. And this is all about me, folks. Well, it's all about me and Flula Borg. Hello, Flula. Well, hello, Andy Richter. How are you? I'm fine. Thank you so much for coming in today. Thank you for allowing me into the building and into the studio. You're on a timer. As soon as this

show is done, you are out the door. Yes, and those eggs are ready to eat. Get out. Yes. Well, here, let me get your plugs out. Well, first of all, I want to say, everybody, we're live, so you can give us a call at 855-266-2-604. And today's topic is injuries. You know, those funny, funny, painful things. But, I mean, everybody's got kind of a fun injury story. Yes. Some of them are hilarious.

Some of them can be funny. I mean, some of them aren't so. And some of them, it's that sort of dark laughter that you have just as a way of coping with something. awful. With something very terrible. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. So if you have any of those stories, give us a call. 855-265-26-2. Here's some stuff about Flula. Okay. He plays German legal scholar Hans von Donaghi. Donani, yes. Donani. Okay, close. Yeah. In the upcoming historical drummer Bonhofer. Yes, Bonhofer. November 22nd, written and directed by Todd Karnik. Khamannicki. See, I can,

The German ones I'm closer to, but when you start to get Slavic, forget it. Flula's disembodied head hosts the video game show Neon Dimension on YouTube and Fubo TV. Yes. And you star in the podcast sitcom Flula makes five, a sitcom about a family that buys a new dream house, unaware that a German techno DJ, wonder who that is, holds a 100-year lease to their basement. Yes. And I'm in it. You are.

In next week's, is that right? Absolutely. Next week's episode. First episode of season two. Very exciting. Thank you, Andy. Oh, wow. I'm the big get for the season opener.

You are. You are. It's fun. Yeah, it was, you asked me to record some stuff and... And you did it. And I did it. I went into my bathroom and... Oh, that was the echo.

No, I don't think it was. Oh, I was trying to... I don't think it was a bathroom. I think I'm mad. It might have been at the dining room table. I can't remember exactly. Okay, I was wondering what those dingles and dangles sounds were. Okay.

Those dingers in there. Honestly, I don't know. I could listen back and it could be any one of many dingers or dangers. Listen, we incorporated this dingle-dongers into the show. So do whatever you want. Oh, right. Well, now, you're a world traveler. I've done it.

I own a passport, yes. You're all over, a busy man, films, live appearances, yes. Techno-D-J. As all three, we have both done. Yes. Oh, precisely. Obviously.

Yeah, I mean, yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. You're the Tiesto of, where are we? Sirius XM Radio, yes. Yeah, I'm the Avici of Burbank. Oh, hell yes. Hell yes.

Yeah. Have you, do you have any good injury stories? Yes, I once as a child accidentally slide-tackled a barbecue grill. Ooh. And opened a nice wound on my calf, no, the shin, sorry, shin, that is in the shape of a Nike's wound. Oh, oh. Yeah. I think it still is there.

No one can see this, but it's right. It's right there. Do you see it? Oh, I do see that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I have, I don't know. Like, I have three children now. And I feel like I, like my older kids, we didn't really go to the emergency room much.

Whereas I feel like when I was a kid, we were there once a month from something that like some, like my brother or me, I was there so often from an early age, tipping back in my high chair and hitting my head on a bookshelf. And my mother saying that she could actually see into my soft spot, which had not healed over. Still has not healed. Has healed. Oh, no, it definitely has now. Oh, okay. I could demonstrate, but I don't want to take off my wig.

Oh, damn. Next time. And so, yeah, yeah, that was like one of the first ones. And I guess there's probably stitches, scars up there. My brother once, when I was pulling off his socks, which made him crazy. Like, it annoyed him, which is why I did it. Of course. He kicked me in the eye, and his toenail sliced my eyelid open.

What? Yes. How jagged are these nails? I don't even, I don't know. But it just, it happened. And so I had stitches in my eyelid. Okay, wait. So you said back in the days, more hospital visits, but with your current offsprings,

Not so many. I always assumed, you know, everything like back in the days, no one went to hospitals. We would just put some vapor rub on it and call it a day. And now everyone goes to the hospital. No, no. Oh, okay. I'm from a long line of hypochondriac. Oh, congratulations.

So it was like Disneyland. Going to the hospital. Yeah, yeah. That's my joke about my hypochondriac relatives is that they all stand such a good chance of dying while doing what they love. Visiting the hospital? Which is being ill. Oh, being in the ER. Being sick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, I'm excited for you.

It's fingers crossed. I'm knocking on my woods. So, yeah, and I mean, I broke in leg. My mother backed over me with the car. What? Yeah, but when we were delivering papers, I had a paper route, and I was hanging out the back of the station wagon. And she didn't back over me with the wheel, but my foot got caught in a pot hole as she was backing down a sort of an incline. and it hyper-extended my foot and had a broken leg, yeah. So it was your paper route and Mama was driving you to, as you tossed papers out of the back. Yes.

Ah, okay. Yes, yes. Okay. Did you ever injure somebody by throwing these readable papers? No. No, but I was one of those children that hurt the other children. Oh. Like just in good-natured play.

Oh. You know, like touch football with me was always. I always was like... Less touch, more tackle... Well, yeah, it was... No, it was touch, but then, like, the other children would go flying. Oh, okay.

Were you, as a child, of the same size and momentum as your peers, or were you just more aggressive? I was pretty much the same size I am now. And the same bodily dimension. I've retained my toddler dimensions throughout these... No, no, I was... I was not, like, very tall,

but I've always been strong. Stout. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. You know, Swedish stock, German stock. You would have destroyed me. I was a skinny mini. Were you?

Oh, I had no, yes, you would have destroyed me. And did you have a childhood full of injuries? Well, some of them, many were sports. Many sports. So lots of us saw back and many ankle twisties. Yeah, yeah. But the slight tackling of the grill was the worst. And then as with you, the hitting of heads on things.

I once hit them on a window sill in Rome as I was walking backwards. and then my back of my head just was bleeding non-stop. Oh, yeah, those head wounds. Don't stop. Oh, they are really something. Yeah, can stop, won't stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're really amazing.

Oh, yes. I mean, that's like, you know, once wrestling figured that out, they were like, all right. Cheap, cheap special effects. Just elbow for real in the head. See what happens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gusher. Ooh.

All right, well, are we ready to go to the phones? We are. once again the number is 855-266-2-604 Andy Richter-Call-in show Andy Flula Hello And now we got Colleen Colleen

Hi how are you I'm good thanks how are you I'm pretty good Well me and Flula are ready to hear about your pain We're very excited Well it's not my pain It's my husband's pain but I like to laugh at him Even better great

We were on vacation in Mexico and our first morning I was awoken to him, the sounds of him screaming. He had sneezed while he was urinating, and it caused him to rupture his urethra. What? What does that look like? Does it look like a cartoon cigar that had a, you know, like on a, you know, that had an exploding cigar? Was it like, yes. Like a broomhead or something?

What does that mean? It was all internal. We didn't know what was going on. We did a telehealth with his doctor back in the States who said we had to go to the hospital to do testing because it might require surgery. Wait, well, for now, wait, we've gone too far because he sneezes. But what is, what happens? He said the most intense pain he's ever felt and then a lot of blood. Oh, yeah, because that's a place you don't want blood coming off.

So then he began to pee-p-p-blood? Yes. I would think so unless it was just spraying out the side. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that would be extra alarm. Like a recorder, just holes everywhere. Yes, yes. Exactly.

He would be like the little Dutch boy putting your thumb in it. Oh, no. Oh, so, I mean, what was his initial thought? He had no idea what happened or why. It was so painful, but, you know, we quickly put together that's because he had sneezed at the same exact time. Wow. His doctor said it's fairly a regular occurrence, which is disconcerting. Wow.

Okay. Wait, can I just ask, what is the rule to learn here for other people who own penises? To never sneeze. To stop peeing, I guess, while you need to sneeze. Okay. So hold the pee. I know. Hold the pee and then sneeze?

or just let this flow as you hatchew. You know what? I'm not the urethal. Listen, no, I need you to give me medical advice. Colleen, we need medical advice. Both of us have a lot of writing on this here. No, I mean, well, it would seem like you don't, you wouldn't want to, I mean, you would have to have the kegles to stop the urine because I would think that like pinching it off

and then sneezing would be even more problematic. Yes. Oh, man. That's just my guess. And I'm not a trained urologist. I'm more of a natural. Yeah, you're a natty. Yeah, yeah.

You're a nattie, doc. Right. Wait, Colleen, how was this telehealth appointment? Were pants lowered or was it all more just philosophical? Just philosophical. But we did then need to go to a Mexican hospital. And all along, he doesn't speak any Spanish. I had been just hobbling us along with my high school.

Spanish. But they don't, in high school Spanish, they don't teach you the word for urethra. Or rupture. Yeah, both. Exactly. Yeah. So that was an experience. The doctor was hysterical and came in with a cartoonist. Yes. Well, also like, even with a cartoonish accent, like he was like a Looney Tunes character and said, like, I know you think that we all wear sombreros, but I actually went to medical school. It was the strangest experience. Was that his natural accent while speaking English, or was he doing like a Speedy Gonzalez? He was doing a Speedy Gonzalez.

Oh, what? And then talk to us normally with just a slight accent. It was like, no, I'm just messing with you guys. I kind of like him. He seems great. I want him to treat my pee-pee. Is this all while your husband is in deep pain? Absolutely.

Perfect. Great. Wow. Yeah. So what is, I mean, does he, your husband whips it out. Speedy Gonzalez takes a look. I caramba, probably his words. Yeah. And delay, on delay. Yeah. They did ultrasounds. He ultimately ended up not having to have surgery and just had a round of antibiotics and then it healed on its own. But it was, it's quite the story and I love to tell it. Is it, is it, was it ruptured in one spot? Yes. And where was that spot? chapped, tip, inside the body, you know.

Paint a picture for us. Yeah, inside the body. Oh, okay. I don't know exactly, yeah. Wow, that is crazy. I know it's Halloween month. This is terrifying. Yeah, yeah.

I just say, this is a very scary story, Colleen. I will never urinate and be near a farm or springtime again. There's so many things that can happen like this. Like my ex-wife Yeah In her 30s Just both of her retinas Started to detach

What? Yeah And it was And it was this sort of thing like And she's very near-sighted Which is a stigmatism And that's where the The eyeball kind of gets football shaped

Uh-huh And the retina is just a tissue That sort of sits up against the back of the eyeball And because of that conical Mishaping It's sort of The way it was explained to us Was like water behind wallpaper

and it starts to peel off. And she just was like having weird vision stuff. And we go in and they're like, oh, yeah, the right one is almost 75% attached. And the left one is about 30% attached. What would happen when she sneezed? Well, that was, I think that was like one of the things that was strictly verboten. And it's why our second child was a scheduled C-section because they were like, no, no, no. No more pushing for you.

No straining. Yeah. And it's because the way that they correct it, there's different. But she got two silicone bands around her eyeballs that will be there forever, you know, like squeezing out either end of the eyeball and forcing the retinas in place. This is insane. Yeah. So their solution was to rubber band it essentially. That's right.

Exactly. That's right. You lay down, which is better because the other solution was they feel. fill your eyeball with gas, some kind of gas, that then over a period of a couple of weeks, your body replaces that pressure, whatever gas it was, I don't remember. But you have to stay for like two weeks face down on like a massage table. You can't, like, if you get up and go upright, you can only be that way for short periods of time.

How do you make a duty? I guess quickly. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Which, I mean, I'm incapable of that. Yes, yes. You know, it's a luxury for me. Well, you read an entire encyclopedia Brown novel.

I absolutely do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I go from the beginning of Instagram to now. To the, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a while. All right, well, Colleen. How long was your husband out of action, if I may ask? I'm glad that I wasn't sure with how long.

I'm glad you continued with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good. A few weeks, yeah. Oh, okay. He was in pain for a few weeks, yeah. And his first time back on the playing field, was he nervous? Absolutely. Yes.

I hope you laughed at him. You coward. Get in here. Figure it out. All right, well, Colleen, thank you for kicking us off with a good one. Nothing like a hurt peepee to get the ball rolling. Next up, we got Chris. Hi, fellas. How are you today?

Good, good. Very sassy. Good. So my story is I went to a friend's wedding in Chicago. There were like shots of vodka. Sure. Each place setting. Yeah. I was told it was because of the Polish wedding.

I don't know if that's true or not or if it's just an excuse for something. Did they have that Mallort or that Schlivivitz? No, this was just vodka. Straight unpronounceable vodka. Nice. Delicious. I had no problem with it, as you'll hear in a second. And so every time there was a clinking of glasses or whatnot, we'd do the shot.

The staff would come around immediately fill it. This happened several times in pretty quick succession, like towards the beginning of the reception. The dancing started and the song Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot by Buster Poindexter came on. Yes, of course. It's a Chicago wedding. That's going to happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's in the city charter, right?

Yes. So they, a conga line started. It was about six women over the age of 50 of me. I was the caboose trailing. I'd had probably five or six shots of this vodka at the time. We're going around the room. Everybody's having fun. Oh, also at each people's place setting was a heart-shaped tin of cinnamon candies with a

ride and groomed space on them. Oh, wow. So I put that with me. Yeah, very, very fancy. I was walking around, shaking it like a Maraca to the song. To the beat. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. And in the path of the Congo line was just a straight chair that the women in front of me were getting up and kind of curtseying on. I was feeling myself. So I decided to jump over it instead. I jumped over it. And as soon as I landed, I just felt the, the entire contents of my right knee like explode.

Oh, no. Like I heard a pop. And I just crumpled to the floor. But I got up because I was drunk. I thought it would be okay, but I couldn't put any weight on it. It swelled up so quickly that it was like straining against the limits of my suit pants. Oh, wow. So I had to leave.

Yeah, I had to leave and go to the ER in Chicago. I had to like leave the wedding. And, yeah, it was fully fully, fully torn. I had that get it replaced. I'd full knee replaced and I had a cadaver ATM put in. What? Did anyone go with you or were you by yourself?

Yes, no, my date went with me. And on the way, the cab driver, we told him what happened and he said, you know, I have chronic back pain. Why don't you take a couple of these? So he gave me a couple of pills from his prescription bottle, which helped. Which medication was that? Just curious. I didn't ask. Perfect. But it was.

Thank you, cab driver. And did you let the people at the ER know? Oh, and by the way, I took two mystery pills from the cab driver on the way over. No, I didn't. Good, yeah, yeah. Keep them in the dog. What's the harm? Totally.

My favorite part of the story is this, you know, the wedding was captured by a videographer. And when I was talking to my friend later, I said, is the fall caught on two? tape, he said, yeah, he said, they were right on you, and all of a sudden you jump in the air, and then it's just like you fall through a trap door. You can't see you anymore. Oh, no. But the camera stays there for another second. Uh-huh. You stand up, and your face is as white as a sheet, but you're still shaking those fucking cinnamon like a morassas.

This is good. So that's my, I told everybody I did it playing basketball when I got back. Yeah, yeah, good move. Yeah. Strong post move. twisted it. Yeah, yeah. Chris, is this video viewable by civilians? Yeah, if it is, let me know so I can bury it. Okay. You find it before. Listen, that could be worth of money on AFV. That's America's funniest videos. Oh, yeah. For people out there who aren't in the Vindabona clan like I am. Get on board. Yeah. Well, thank you so much, Chris.

That's a highlighted debona career. That's right. Thank you guys. How have great rest of your day. Thank you. You too, Chris. All right. Next up. If you got an injury, an injury story for us. Give us a call at 855-266-2-604. We have Lindsay. Yeah. Hi, Lindsay. Andy Richter here, Flula Board. Hello. Excited to chat. Thanks. Feed us your delicious story of pain. Okay, well, when I was 19, I worked a little zoo or a wildlife educational park, and I was in charge of the barnyard area. So the goats, the ponies,

llamas, donkeys, all kind of barnyard critters. And like petting kind of thing, like are kids mingling in with the animals? Yeah, yep, you can feed them. There's honey rides, all kinds of stuff. Great. Yeah. And one day I'm walking around doing my rounds, and I see that a certain donkey named Jingles has a little cut on his back leg.

Okay. So I grab some ointment. I'd go in there to take care of Jingles. And I did this the wrong way. I was being foolish, but I was only 19. So I kneeled down to take care of his little scratch, and he circled around to kick me. So I tried to scoot back, and I fell, and I broke a bone in my wrist. Oh.

So. Owee. Yeah. Jingles did not get, he didn't get a good foot on you. We didn't get hoof to skin contact. Okay, okay. But the intention was definitely there. Right.

Did you then immediately use this ointment on your wrist? I didn't. I didn't know what to do. I was kind of shook up. So I drove myself to the hospital and I really irritated the nurse when I didn't tell her. It was a workers' comp from the beginning because apparently that's a very important part of the process. Or, yeah, workers' comp, donkeys comp. Donkey comp.

And it turned out that I broke the smallest bone in your wrist that's the hardest to heal. So I had to be in a cast for a year. If you're going to do it, do it all the way. Number one, what is the name of this bone, not a pop quiz, purely curious? I think it's called the scaphoid. Ooh, okay. Scaffoid. Like the tiniest, littlest, miniest bone in your, where your thumb meets your wrist.

It sounds like a creature from the dark crystal. Yeah. The scaphoid. Yeah. Look out for the scaffolds. Wait, you said a cast for 12 months? For 12 months. Yeah.

So it was a summer job. I had to go back to college with still wearing the cast. And I had to tell everybody, because of course, everyone asks, I had to tell everybody. A donkey broke my wrist for an entire year. And is it the same cast? Because doesn't it get nasty? Yeah. Well, there's a whole series of cast.

There was one that zipped on. I got a few of the hard canvas ones. I got some fabric ones. There was a whole spectrum. Ooh, la, la. Wow. Wow. With the different seasons. Of course.

Yeah. So you did not choose to invent an exciting story involving ninjas and bonfires. You went with the truth? Well, for a while, I was telling people it was some kind of circus accident that I was an acrobat. Yeah, yeah. slipped on the bar, but Donkey turned out to be a better answer anyway. Okay. Yeah.

Or just, or you could have just been like fucking jingles. Yeah. And then people would be like, oh, okay, jingles. No follow-up question necessarily. She apparently was writing advertising songs and carpal tunnel. All right, well, Lindsay, thank you

so much. I'm glad you're better. Does it give you trouble on cold days or anything like that? Yeah, when it's wet, It gets a little sore, and I live out in Seattle, so it gets wet quite a bit with the rain. So I am frequently reminded of dear old jingles. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I have a few of those.

Yeah? Yeah, yeah. Pains like this? Yeah, yeah. Like I have a thumb that got hyper-extended, and this is a good one, while driving a golf cart. What? I had my hand over the spoke of the wheel, and I was doing U-turn, and it went up on the curb and then back down.

And because there's no differential in them, the wheel just snapped around. Yes. And it hyper extended my thumb. And I was like, ow. And what I didn't know was that it had one of the tendons where it attached to the bone, the bone was cracked. And it was just hanging on. Oh.

And then I, about two weeks later, I was in Charlotte, North Carolina working on Talladega Knights. and in the middle and it hurt and it hurt in a lot and uh and then it just apparently that was the day that the bone chip let go oh and it was crazy pain like my pinky hurting and then like my whole hand being numb and it was just because it was moving around in my thumb and sitting on different things but i had to go i had to get it reattached surgically reattached and i went through like five months of hand physical therapy what like shoving And your hand in rice and squeezing things and touching each tip of your finger.

And they were like, yeah, you have to do that or you'll lose the flexibility in your thumb. And that thumb now, when it's cold or wet, it hurts in that bottom. It's like the, you know, the bottom knuckle. This makes me think. So, Lindsay, after one year, was one of your hands very tiny? Oh, yeah. All shriveled and pruning. Yeah, yeah.

No, I did a lot of the PT too. So we got it back up to match the other one. Oh, okay. Good. Very important. Good. That's important. You need your hands.

Yeah, matching hands. And your wrists. Yeah. A lot of stuff. A lot of stuff involves wrists. Yes. All right, Lindsay, thank you so much for the call. Yeah, thanks so much.

It's nice chatting. Thank you for Alice. Oh, yeah. Thank you. Oh, shun talk. Bye. Cheuse. Christine.

Christine. Christine from Colorado. Hello. Hi. Hi there. Andy Richter here from LaBorg. Hello. We're here to listen to your injury story.

Yeah, it's kind of a crazy story when I initially started telling people it. They joked that it was from like a final destination movie. Oh, nice. Wow. I love those. Yeah. Those are like totally like comedy bits. Yes.

The way that they set those up, they're so. I never watched them until my daughter when she was. in high school. She was a horror buff there for a while. And it was, I just loved like It's funny. Yeah, there's like five red herring ways for people to die before they get the actual way. And sometimes it's literal red herrings. Yes.

All right, I'm sorry, Christine. I'm a red head, so there you go. Hey. Just a shout out to the final destination people. Yeah, of course. So basically at the time I was in Florida and helping out with a charity event in like a church parking lot. They had this big like wedding-sized tent serving food and doing all this stuff for charity. And as we know, Florida can have some crazy weather very quickly.

And it was a sunny, wonderful day. And then suddenly the clouds rolled in and the wind picked up in the span of like a couple minutes. And the tent started to shake. And I was in the middle of the tent trying to clean stuff out. so it wouldn't be a projectile, you know, things like that. And I was like kind of right underneath and the tent started to clap. So I came running out and they had one of those like guide wire. Like basically it was a metal rope.

Yeah. And I'm running out and the rope catches me on my neck. What? And it tossed, yeah. And it tossed me in the air. I, of course, like just flew in the air and landed on the concrete because it's the parking lot like on my side. a woman after the fact told me I looked like a rag doll just like flying in the air. And basically I ended up being really lucky because they said since I was running, the wire

got under my arm. So it cut, it like basically went down my arm and didn't hit my neck like full on straight or else it would have potentially like crushed my larynx or one of those like crazy things right on my neck. Yeah. But I had like bruises all down my arm and then it looked like I had been basically choked out on my neck with like a couple of gashes. And I had to like repeat the story multiple times like, hey, an ambulance came and checked me out.

And then I went to the hospital. And I had to like repeat it multiple times and people like thought I was lying. Yeah. And I ended up getting like a cat scan just in case and everything. But I ended up with just a concussion and a lot of bruises. But like, yeah, it like legit looked like I had been like someone had tried to joke me. Wow. How high do you think you went into the air?

I would say a little bit because everyone was really freaked out when they. I was only unconscious for, like, I think, under a minute from what they told me. But, like, a lot of people were, like, crowded around me because apparently, like, I definitely took some air when I went in the air for sure. Wow. So the cable had broken loose and was, like, whipping around. Yeah, kind of. I think it was more that the tent collapsed and the rope that was going across to, like, it obviously wasn't put up right, I guess. And so, like, the rope just kind of, like, hooked under, yeah.

It was kind of crazy. And I tell me about the story, too, because I was supposed to work the next day. And I ended up, like, having a friend who was there at the charity event, who I worked with, call in. And they were just like, yeah, a tent clapped on her. And they were thinking it was like a camping tent. And that's why I couldn't work because I had, like, a concussion and stuff. And then it, like, finally came out as to what actually happened.

Right, right. Well, I hope you sued the shit out of that church. Thank you. Yeah, or the charity, whichever. I actually didn't because I was in my early 20s and I didn't know and I thought it was a charity and I didn't understand how that worked at the time. So I was like, I don't want to take money from the charity. And I just had them pay my hospital bill and that was it. But they did do that.

Yeah, they totally paid for the hospital bills. They got like a cat scan and stuff. Like they were really concerned that like I had bruising like all down my arm and I landed kind of like on my side. So I had like some bruising on my face too. in addition to my neck. And so they, like, did a cat scan, made sure nothing was broken. And basically they just, like, cleaned up a couple of my scratches and then just gave me a tetanus shot and we're like, bye, and, like, sent me home the same night. Wow.

Yeah. And then, and then, like, I'm sure that, like, for two weeks after people are just thinking that you had been brutalized, like, you know, like someone had attempted to murder you. Yeah. It was very weird to explain because it, like, I had, like, bruising around my neck and losing all down my arm. arm. I had a gash on my neck too. So yeah, it was definitely crazy. And just like I said, everyone just kept being like, this is like the final explanation. Like, because I just had to repeat it so many times. I was like, yeah, I've ever heard that one. Yeah. I must ask again, is there any video footage of this? No, sad. You there wasn't. And only a couple people saw it. My

friends had their back turn and said they saw me landing, but they didn't see me get like hooked. I had like two of my friends there that were like at the event. And my parents did. And my parents didn't see it. They were also volunteering and apparently they were on like the other side of the parking lot and didn't see it but then came running over. So like, so your folks were there. Oh. Yeah, my parents were there volunteering as well. And like I said, I had invited a couple friends. It was like a cookout to raise money for a charity and stuff. And so for victims of steel cable injuries. Yes. Yes, that's exactly what the charity is for. All right, Christine. Well, thank you so much. Thank you. And I just wanted to say I have been a fan of yours forever. Andy, I watched Conan my entire childhood in life as an adult. And I awesome big fan of Flula. I love you.

Oh, thank you. The rookie as well. So thank you guys. We love you too. Yes. All right. Andy Richter Call-in Show. Give us a call 855-266-04. We're talking injuries. And that's what we're going to talk about with Rob from San Diego. Rob. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hi there. You got me. You have Flula. Hola.

Hello, Robert. Andy and Flula, pleasure to talk to you, big fan. Good talking to you. Yes. So, yeah, I'm a musician among other things, and once upon a time I was riding an electric scooter home from a gig through the pothole streets of downtown San Diego, and I went down hard. Wait, is this like a lime scooter, or is this one that you owned yourself? Actually, I bought. one after writing some of the limes. I thought it was kind of fun. And for the most part, it was fun, but it was not fun that night.

Did you have a helmet on? I did not. I did have a guitar strapped to my back. Oh, honey. You've got to put a helmet on with those things. Yeah. Yeah. I got, I mean, arguably I got very lucky. I don't actually, it's very blurry. I do have surveillance footage of the two police officers who gave me a ride home. Oh. Like a cop came in, I came in, the other cop came in pushing the scooter, and I gave them both a fist bump with my good hand. And I kept that clip. Good. Very important. Well, wait. So when you go down, what happens?

I, of course, my big mouth, I stopped the flow of the story here. Well, I've only had two spills in the couple years that I was writing it. And you just kind of crumple. And again, like this night in particular, things were a little foggy because, you know, I'd played like a three-hour bar gig. I had some beer and probably a couple of shops. And so it just wasn't a good combination of things at all. Was it a pot hole or did you just sort of go over, you know, were you going too fast? I think it was a combination of the road condition.

It was dark. I was probably going too fast and probably more than anything. Just, you know, my, my, like, you know, sobriety at the time was, you know, probably making... Yeah, you were fucked up. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Which honestly, probably kind of numbed the pain a little bit. Like, I was able to sleep through the night. And the next morning, I drove myself to urgent care. And I assumed it was going to be, like, a simple cast or something like that. And maybe I'd miss, like, a few days of work. But apparently my x-rays were making the rounds. And they were telling me, like, I'm going to need... surgery and probably be out of, I ended up being out of work for like three and a half months.

Whoa. Surgery on what? Your spine? So I know. So I ended up breaking or shattering might be a more appropriate word. My wrist and my pinky in like multiple locations. So they had to put in metal plates and pins in both my wrist and pinky. So I got some cool scars.

Is that on your fret hand or your strum hand? Oh, good question. So I am right-handed, and luckily it was on my left hand, which is the fret hand. Oh, okay. It did take a while to kind of get back into, like, forming certain cords, but luckily I'm just as bad now as I was before the increase. Were you hoping for some sort of like Django Reinhardt payoff, like that somehow your mangled hand would make you a prodigy? Yeah, you know, like the doctor was like, well, you'll never play again, and then it was just a fight to get back on stage. Yeah.

Yeah. I'll show you. Exactly. Mediocrity awaits. Mm-hmm. And now you have an excuse. Anytime something goes wrong, you have this debilitating entry you can lean on. Yes.

Yeah, from that point on, like, now whenever I see someone with a cast on their arm specifically, or really any kind of thing, I'm always, like, quick to ask what happened because I feel like I have a kinship with the injured. Right, right. Yes. And do you still feel it? Um, no, like, for the most part, everything's back to normal. Like, two of my, um, favorite things to do or to perform, but also I like the kayaking. And, um, I just got back from a little kayaking trip on the Colorado River. Like, and I'm playing gigs again on a regular basis. Like, my range of motion isn't quite what it once used to be, but, um, it's not really affecting anything. Thank you. Yeah, who's is these days? Exactly right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Two questions. When did this occur and do you still ride your school? scooter. So this was in 2021, and

for a while I didn't ride the scooter, I was kind of terrified of it, like just, you know, just the, and worse things happen to people on scooters. Like, you hear horrible stories all the time, and, you know, I was having a good experience

for the most part, but after this, I was kind of scared. And after a while, I did get back on it a few times because I wanted to be the surfer who, you know, gets bit by a shark but doesn't let that stop them. They want to go back out there and get on the waves. But I realize the difference is like the surfer didn't get bit by a shark because they were

drunk. Right. True. I did. So I still have the scooter, but it's just collecting dust and I should probably sell it because I just, you know. There's also a difference between you and the surfer that gets bit by a shark in that the surfer that gets bitten by a shark, that's way cooler.

Yes. Way cool. Yeah. Yeah. Wiping out on a scooter. Thanks for the reminder. That's all right. It's what I'm here for.

This is just advice for you to revise your story into a shock. Maybe the shock, you were just at a red light, and then a shark came, and what did they do on sitcoms? They jumped out of the sewer. Yeah. You know. That's exactly what happened. Okay, great. Perfect.

All right, Rob. Thanks for the call. Nice talking to you. Bye, Rob. Hi, Corissa. Carissa from Oregon, you're on the Andy Richter-Call-N-Show. Hi. Tell us about your injury story.

Okay, so this was 18 years ago. I was a senior in high school, and I had an AP Spanish project where I had to cook something and then present it to my class in Spanish. So that night, or the day before my project, I decided to make troughs, and I was deep frying them as you would. You have to. You must. Yeah. Wait, it exploded. What do you mean it exploded?

It exploded. I don't know. It was the second batch, and it just got all over the kitchen, all over the ceiling, all over myself. So burning hot oil, I screamed because it hurt. I ran into the other room to my mom who was like watching the Filipino channel at like the highest volume. And I was screaming and crying. And she was like, what is going on? So then she panicked and call 911. And then an ambulance came in a fire truck. The firefighters came into my house and they looked at all the dough and the hot oil everywhere. And for some reason, they installed a smoke detector in my bedroom. Great. I don't know. Wait, the firemen were like, we better put a smoke detector in her bedroom. They would they think you were going to start frying up churros in the bedroom? Just every, yeah.

I have no idea. Get a bedside fry dad. Yeah, you know. Yeah. But, yeah, it was just like screaming. And then I think the medics didn't know what to do with me because the oil was on my arms and my face. So their solution was hosing me off in my driveway. And my parents' house was in a cul-de-sac.

And in a nice little town. So, you know, we've got a fire truck, an ambulance myself, screaming in the driveway, getting hosed off. So that was fun. So then I rode the ambulance to the ER. And the person that was taking care of me was, like, cleaning up my burns. This white man asked. me in an accent, totally racist, asking me if I wanted him to put cinnamon and sugar on my burns.

What? Yeah, so that was like, you know, just the cherry on that. Because it was, because it was churros. He was using. Yes, yeah. Oh, my God. People are just the best. Yeah.

What a great guy. What a solid guy. Yeah. He was really trying to, you know, take your mind off your pain. Yeah. But with racism. Right. It's a good tonic.

I have no idea. So I went home with pain meds and second degree burns. I didn't go to school the next period because I was in pain and it was blistering and I was high off pain meds. Yeah. And then when I went back to school, I told my AP Spanish teacher, I had a doctor's note. I went in. I was in tears telling him because I was also humiliated. I was 18, so I cared about what I looked like.

Right, of course. And it had burns all over me. Oh, man. And then he was like, oh, well, I'm sorry, but you have until Monday, because I think it was Friday or something, to do it. And he had zero empathy over the fact that I missed school because I was in the ER getting my second degree burns. Yeah. Boo. Is there scarring today?

There is, and it's 18 years now. Wow. Oh, my gosh. I will not deep fry anything ever again. I'm so sorry. No lumpia for you then? No. Well, I mean, I will eat that, but I would prefer someone else.

make it for me, but don't deep fry any dough. Yeah, yeah. Done. Deep frying, I avoid just because it's such a pain in the ass. Yeah. And it's messy. Yeah, yeah. I don't need this.

Yeah. So I assume zero churros were consumed by you after this event. Not made by me. Oh, okay. Made by sovereign? Okay, okay, yes. Yes, yes. But it's now like called the churro incident amongst my family, my friends.

Well, did you, and for your makeup project for this heartless teacher, was it more churros or did you like change to, you know, tequitos or something? I changed it. I think it was like, I don't even remember what it was, but my mom cooked it and I was terrified of buying anything for a long time. It's guacamole. You can't get guacamole burn. No. Yeah. All right, Carissa.

Well, thank you for the call. I'm glad you're okay today. Yes. Thank you. And be careful frying. Yes. Be careful frying. That's a message to all you kids out there.

Everybody. 855-266-6-2-4. That's the number. You got an injury call. We got about 14 minutes left. Next up, we have Patrick. He's a Hoosier. Hello.

First of all, were you calling from Indiana? I'm always curious about the Midwestern. I'm calling from Indianapolis, specifically to the north side of Indianapolis. Nice. And if Tom Lennon were here, he'd know exactly where. Yeah, he sure would. You know what, it's funny, I'm going to see him. I'm going to be on After Midnight tonight, and he's one of the guests.

Great. Yeah, I can't get away from that guy. No, indescapable. Because he's done this show. And he just, he's an old man who likes to tell you very specific things about various geographical areas. Oh, not just Indiana. He knows everything. He knows everywhere.

It's like, oh, that's by the, you know, the Texahatchee River. So it's like, anyway, Thomas Guide Lennon. Shout out to Tien. Yes. Uh, shout out to Tom Lennon. Patrick, tell us your injury story. Enough about him. Sure.

So it's the fall of 2020. I'm a senior in high school. I just got out of school and I'm about to go to work. And I close my car door on my head and I knock myself out. What? Wait, how does that happen? What? Patrick.

You know, for the past 24 years, I've been asked that question. The answer is, I don't know. I got knocked out. I think I'm kind of a tall guy. I'm not like, freak. tall but I'm like six foot two and I just think I timed it poorly and I just was closing the door and just got it right on my head okay I'm kind of trying to I am picturing it because I mean I'm capable of of hilarious clumsiness sure me too but I don't think I've ever I've hit I've definitely hit my head getting out of the car same or getting into the car oh of course yeah but never actually closed the door on my own skull because usually I'm aware of getting it out of the way from closing doors. You know, of the million times I've closed the door, that's the one time.

But it only one time. Well, that's the one we're talking about. Well, Patrick, did you begin the closing process? Remember that you forgot something. Lean in and then get crushed by your own door? Or is it just happened? You don't know why it happened, but it happened. You know, Flula, I would love to tell you that I knew.

But I think just my elbow and arm went faster than my knees going down into the car seat. So I just shut it. Oh, wow. You were getting into the car or getting out of the car? Getting into the car. Oh. I was about to go to work. Wow.

It was the second part of this story. So do you get knocked out? Do you hit the ground? Are you like slumped over the console of the car? I am slumped over the console of the car. So I wake up where everything is kind of red, but like my vision comes into play and I'm kind of like screaming. What? And a little bit bloody.

And I'm like, oh, God. And then my head, obviously, as you might expect, was just absolutely. killing me. Uh-huh. And my vision was all messed up. Now, you would think I would, I don't know, like, ask for help. I mean, this was 2000. I didn't have a cell phone or anything like that, but it asked for help around me or anything

like that or go back into school. But I had a job to go to. I'd work to do. And my job, I had many jobs at the time, but one of my job was to be a volleyball referee at the local boys and girls club. Sure. Obviously. You can do that with a brain injury.

Yeah. That's exactly what I did. So I drove to the Boys and Girls Club, which was a terrible idea. And, you know, the thing about being a volleyball referee is they've got that little stand, you know, that's like several steps up. Sure. Yes. So I told the guy who was kind of the scorekeeper in the bench behind me, I go, hey, I have got a bad concussion. There's a very good chance I'm going to fall off of this.

And I said, I need you. FYI. Just so you know, I have horrible internal bleeding in my brain. So the thing was, I realized everything was just swirling. My whole vision was swirling. But if I could focus in on the volleyball itself, the world would swirl around it. But I had enough vision to see if the ball was either on the line or out of bounds. Wow.

So is this the best referee match you ever read? Well, it's, yeah, I can only assume so. It's hard time knowing how well I did. But this was fourth and fifth grade girls. So obviously was incredibly important that the game go on. Right, right. Critical. Yes. But there was one coach who she was always a screamer. She would scream at the kids. She would scream at me. Most certainly would scream at me. Well, it's fourth and fifth grade. This is critical. Yes, yes, yes. High stakes. High stakes. Yeah, it's what matters. Yes. And I remember just being so kind of out of it that she was screaming at me from the sidelines, and I just didn't register or care.

And then after the game, kind of my boss came up to me, and she saw that, like, I was just like, my eyes were all dilated. I was not okay. She was like, oh, my God, what is wrong with you? It's like, yeah, I have a bad concussion. She's like, why didn't you? Why are you? And then at that moment, the mean coach started screaming at me.

and I just looked at her and I go, ma'am, I have a concussion. I'm not listening to you at this moment. Yes. And what was her response? Do we remember? She just kind of huffed away. Nice.

Good, good, good. She believed me is the thing. Like, I was that messed up that she didn't think I was lying to get out of being screamed at. Based on how you said it. She was like, yeah, that checks out. Yeah. Yeah, it's 100%. 100%.

So we called my mom. Now, my mom is amazing. She is a nurse. So she heard the news and, you know, drove to by work the gym. And she was like, oh, my, oh, no, you are, you're in bad shape. So she drove me home and the entire time was kind of like, why didn't you tell anybody? Why? And I was like, I don't know.

I just felt like I really had to be a referee at that volleyball game. Yeah, yeah. It's what I'm built for, Ma. Yeah. I'm also picturing it like that your head was like sort of peanut shape. like that it squeezed it. So it was all malformed for a little bit, you know. There absolutely was like the cut of, and you could kind of see the contour of the car door

of kind of where it went from horizontal to vertical along the left side of my head. Ouchy. Well, are you okay now? I think so. I, you know, with everything we know about concussions and CTE, it kind of scares me. But, you know, I never joined, you know, combat sports or I never played football. after that or before that frankly right I was more of a performing arts kid uh yeah yeah this is this is the only time you know I was I was I was I was a lineman in high school and they and they used to

call it getting your bell rung yeah I've heard this yeah and and I had that a couple of times you know yeah and I and in one of them I actually could you know because your brain is kind of just floating floating in your head it's a sort of gooey mass and and I distinctly felt the mass of my brain slosh like backwards and forwards like I could feel the mass of my brain getting moved back and forth within my skull and then like you know the next thing I was sitting on the bench like I got hit and I think I hit my head on the ground and but like I said that happened at least three times well And I only played football three times.

No, freshman and sophomore year. And then I got a job at the grocery store. But it's still, and it just got your bell wrong. Ha, ha, ha. And even at the time, I was like, this does not seem like a good sustainable sort of system here. No. Yeah. You know, I was on the wrestling team quite poorly, but I was on the wrestling team.

And our wrestling coach had a very strict rule under no circumstance where you to drink any water at all. during practice. And I just kind of accepted that as, oh, that's what you do. And then many years after the fact I became a teacher, and I saw my students having wrestling practice drinking water. It's like, what? You can't do that. You're not supposed to have water.

I was like, oh, my God. Why did it take me this long to realize how awful and insane that culture was? Insane. Well, thank you so much, Patrick. I'm glad you're better. Thank you. I hope your brain works good now. Me too.

Me too. All right. Big fan of both of you. Thank you. so much. Thank you, Patrick. Bye. Bye-bye. We got one more. Eric from Philadelphia. How are you? Hello. Hi there. I'm just staying on the last call, and I got to make it quick. Okay. So I will do just that. I'd like to talk about a 24-year-old injury that my family still brings up to this day involving myself and my younger brother, Carl. Oh, it's legendary. It's a wrestling-related

injury. It's Luna you should be familiar with since you fought with an actual WWE wrestler. Very true. I lost. I mean, on film it looks like I won, but let's be honest. Right. Right. That's a wrestler who really knows what he's doing with his wrestling moves. Yes. But this takes place back when I was 14 and my brother was 9 or 10 in the year 2000, and we very much did not know what we were doing with wrestling moves. Right.

So the year is 2000. There used to be a very funny late night show skit about that, if you remember. But it was also when the WWF attitude era was in full swing. Right. And the attitude era, it was known for sex, ultraviolence, blood, everything,

all the stuff that parents didn't want their kids to watch and emulate. And my brother and I watched them, emulated it all. Oh, boy. So, one of the popular

wrestlers at the time was the Undertaker. Yes. His big move was the choke slam from hell. Yes. That's where he grabs a guy by the throat.

He picks him up by the neck. Yeah. And he slams him down. into the ring. On to their back. And at the end, onto their back. And at the end,

the Undertaker had really long hair. He would flip his hair up really hard, and it would look really, really cool when he did it. Yeah. So we had just gotten done watching Monday Night at Raw, and as most kids of our age, ramped up on several hours of television,

we started wrestling in the kitchen. And so, just like the Undertaker, I grabbed my brother by the throat, and the move is you jump, and then that's how they actually lift you up. So he jumped, lifted him up, slammed him down onto the,

kitchen table, you pulled it off flawlessly. But like I mentioned earlier, there's a second part to it. You got to flip your hair back in order to complete the move. Sure, of course. So I whipped my head up, ripped my head up as hard as I could, forgetting that there was this bulbous, ugly glass chandelier type thing hanging above the table exactly level with my height. Right. And so when I whiffed my head up, I knocked this chandelier, which is probably up the size of like maybe a gallon of milk, off of its hook. It falls and just completely shatters into the back of my head. Ah, oh.

I mean, it hurt, but more or less I came out relatively unscathed for, you know, the bump on the back of my head. My brother, however, was laying on the table underneath me, and that glass all had to rain down onto something. Oh. So he caught a face full of chandelier. ear glass. Ouch. And did it cut him? Well, he jumps up thinking my dad's going to be pissed because we, you know, we broke a thing and we made a mess and a loud noise. Right. Yes. And as he turns his head,

like breaking bad, you get a look at the other side of his face and it is covered in blood from his ear down to his neck. Oh, no. And he doesn't feel a thing. He later said he only started crying because I was so terrified and it was out of feet, not even out of anything, you know, painful. So my dad grabs him, rushes into the emergency room, and they reveal a teeth of glass sliced his ear right down the middle in half, and it was going to require a bunch of stitches to put it back together. Whoa, wow. And he ended up fine. He ended up fine. He ended up fine. Still has two ears. Okay. And an awesome scar, I hope. The awesome scar, a fun story, which he included in my best man speech. Nice. Of course. And the family still brings up the last time we ever wrestled. They called

It's the ear slicing story, not the possible concussion story. Right. But that was the one that did. Well, yeah. You got to go with the splash your injury. Yeah. And Eric, we got to move on because we're at the end of the hour, but thank you so much for calling. Thank you, Eric. Thank you for having me.

It's the delight to talk to you. Thanks. Well, Fluloo, we normally pick a favorite one. I got one. Go. The peepy story. Peepy story. We really started.

Yeah. It started. We started. It was going to be hard to top of Robert. Urethra. Yeah, yeah, no, that's also the most horrifying, but also just the best in its many ways. And it really does cause a sort of a phantom pain. Like, you can sort of definitely.

Yes, but all of these were like, I was 19, I was 18. Yes. That one was, I'm an adult, I just sneezed while peeing. Yes. That one sticks with me. It's a real Halloween, like a real haunted, scary, spooky story. Yes. All right, well, check out Flula in the movie Bonhoeffer out November.

22nd, Neon Dimension on YouTube and Fubo, and Flulamix 5, starring me next week. Hey-oh. All right, well, thank you so much for listening. This is the Andy Richter-Callin show. We're here every Wednesday. Tune in next week. Goodbye.

Bye-bye.