The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Fred Armisen: Musician Stories (The Andy Richter Call-In Show)

Episode Date: April 18, 2025

SNL legend and musician Fred Armisen joins the Andy Richter Call-In Show this week to hear your MUSICIAN/BAND STORIES! In this episode of Andy’s weekly SiriusXM radio show, callers share stories about high school band memories, memories of Prince and Willie Nelson, wedding brawls, and much more.Want to call in? Fill out our Google Form at BIT.LY/CALLANDYRICHTER or dial 855-266-2604.This episode previously aired on SiriusXM’s Conan O’Brien Radio (ch. 104). If you’d like to hear these episodes in advance, new episodes premiere exclusively for SiriusXM subscribers on Conan O’Brien Radio and the SiriusXM app every Wednesday at 4pm ET/1pm PT.

Conan O'Brien Radio! Conan O'Brien Radio! Hey everybody, it's me and Fred Armisen. Sorry we're a little late. That's my fault. No, no, it's we were doing too much cocaine. Way too much. Yeah, this whole show is sponsored by cocaine. I think last week I talked a bunch about cocaine too. I don't even like cocaine.

Cocaine's awful. I don't know it. Yeah, have you never done cocaine? It's not my... Or you haven't... I'm not a drug person. You don't know it. Have you never done cocaine? Or you haven't? I'm not a drug person. You don't know what it is. What is this cocaine you speak of? I just learned this year that it's illegal, though.

You know that's an illegal substance. It certainly is. Yeah, you can get in trouble. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. My family used to deal in cocaine. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. My family used to deal in cocaine. Yeah. Sure.

But we were a cocaine, like, it was a family-run business. Right, right. Now, is that one of the things Henry Louis Gates told you? Yes. Yeah. Not sure if you knew this. Turn the page. Oh, wow.

Piles of cocaine. Cocaine family. How are you? I'm good. It's good to see you. Good, good. It's good to see you too. You're back home because I know you were overseas for a while.

I was on tour. I was overseas for a while. Yeah, yeah. I just did a tour. But, you know, I love being home. I love being in LA. I love the city. It's a nice, I, you know, moving here from New York, there was all this kind of anti-LA

bias for the longest time, which I do think has dissipated. I don't think that people are so like, oh, that town's full of shit, you know. I think that's gone away. I think so too, because it is like, no, this is like a really nice place to live and it doesn't have to be full of shit. You know, like granted you can live a life here that is really phony and show busy and you can go do a lot of awful stuff with awful people. But you can also like live a really nice life with a lot of like interesting, authentic cultures, you know, and eat well and have a nice day with your kids, you know.

It's a beautiful place. Have a nice backyard, nice roads. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And cocaine. And cocaine, which is illegal. Totally illegal.

You gotta remind everyone. Even in California. Even in California. Even in California. You wouldn't know it from looking at Gavin Newsom, but cocaine is illegal in California. And you, well, you've got, are you, you're doing a tour this summer, comedy for musicians,

but everyone else is welcome. Yeah, so I just, it's like a standup comedy, and I have instruments on stage, and I talk about music. Right. But I try not to make it feel too exclusive. Right, right. I imagine it's kind of instructive too. I've seen clips of it just like on Instagram and stuff.

Yeah. And do you have a set thing that you do or do you just kind of wing it? No, it's set. Oh, okay. I go from one instrument to the next and I do a thing where, you know, I listen to music and talk about it.

So, no, it's all set. Yeah. What was the inspiration for it? I did a Netflix special that was stand up for drummers. It was drummer specific. And then this is just an extension of it. It just sort of kept going. Right, right.

Like that subject was plenty to talk about. Right. And it turns out that like, you know, it's just not that specialized of a thing that, I mean, everyone identifies with it, everyone has music in their lives. I know you don't, but you hate it. I remember seeing you on Conan's show, you would plug your ears. Yes, I certainly would. You put your fingers up for ears.

I certainly would. You were like, why? Yeah. Why put your fingers up. I certainly would. You were like, why? Why must this song be this long? Why? Norm MacDonald told me a story once that went early on. One of his first times on Leno. They were sitting in the dark while Neil Young was setting

up next to him in a commercial break. And it's just him and Jay sitting there in the dark at the desk. And Norm said, you know, so I thought I'd strike up a guy. I was like, so Neil Young, huh? That's pretty exciting. And Jay went, yeah, yeah, you like him. You like him. He's like, yeah, yeah, it's Neil Young.

He's fantastic. And he, he asked Jay, he said that. So, uh, what kind of music you into, Jay? And Jay went, you know, whatever's on the radio. Wow. Whatever's on the radio. Wow, like. I mean, that's a very convenient philosophy,

but also so sad. And safe. Yes. It's like, no, this is a private conversation. You could say anything. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, whatever's on the radio. Yes. It's like, no, this is a private conversation. You could say anything. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Whatever's on the radio.

Yeah. You know? Like, just so bizarre, you know? I met our former president, Joe Biden. Yes. And I was like, hey, what kind of music do you listen to? And he had a good answer. I really liked his answer.

He said, I like opera and pop. That was a good, like, I could sort of picture... Well, pop can mean anything, too. Right. I pictured, I thought his version might be in the sort of Tony Bennett, Frank Sinatra pop, or like something in there, like whatever that was. Or I could see him listening to like Laurel Canyon, 70s kind of stuff. Sure.

You know, being into Crosby, Stills and Nash. And probably perfectly happy hearing Abba. Right. Right, sure. As one should be. Yeah. God damn it. And I'm not doing my Biden impression. I'm so... The drag is that when people know me as that, I no longer have like the sort of feel

behind doing my Biden impression. You know what I mean? Like, then I'm just like repeating in my old impression. I'm just so. Well, don't pay attention to that bald cap that's behind you. Don't. Just in case you were in the mood, you know.

Nah, I can't. That was uncanny. It was incredible. That was almost Clinton. It was very Clinton-y. Or, or Clinton. It was very Clinton-y. Yeah.

Well, I mean, you were a musician before you were a comedian, and that's a very, I don't know how many people know about what a common overlap that is, not only to be like for comedians to be musicians, but also for musicians to be really into comedy. Yeah. And you know, like the club here, Largo, in LA, that's pretty much what it's all about. Yeah. Is the intersection of music and comedy. And musicians, I mean, you know, I'm sure that there's some musicians that aren't much fun.

No. But there's a lot of them that really like comedy. They love comedy. Yeah. And love talking about it. Yeah. They all seem to be like, yeah, love comedy and love talking about it. Yeah. They all seem to be like, yeah, nerds for SCTV or whatever.

Absolutely. Yeah, Jack White is a good friend of Conan's, and it's all, you're like, and I mean, I think Jack White. That's who I was picturing, by the way. Puts up with Conan's wanting to play guitar just to talk about comedy. Yeah. It's the case with so many of those guys,

and Beck, and all those people. And then I like seeing pictures of comedians playing their instruments kind of before they were famous. Like there's one of Peter Sellers playing the drums, stuff like that. I like seeing them really happy playing in the instruments. Right, exactly. Or being, I can't think of one right now, but like being really surprised to find out like somebody's really good at.

Yeah, you know, I saw a video of Andrew Dice Clay playing the drums, and you would think like, maybe this is something he just started. Yeah, yeah. I don't know why, meaning like I didn't know about his drumming. Right. And he was great, he was like playing jazz and stuff and he looked, it was great.

Yeah, yeah. We should just go through the list of every community. His instrument. Well, what was your band days like? Did you? It was like, you know, it was the same time when you were in Chicago. Yeah. And I was in a Chicago band, but we toured all the time.

What was the name of the band? Trench Mouth. OK. And we played at Lounge Axe and the Czar Bar. Because you were in Chicago in the 90s, right? Yeah. I, it would have been like, yeah, starting in like 88, 89. Same. Yeah, yeah.

I moved to Chicago in, in, uh, 88. So, uh, what was it like? It's like being on a religious campaign. We're gonna do it. We're gonna figure it out, we're gonna get there, we're gonna be a combo of this band and that band, and we're gonna get a record deal. It's a very driven, and every pitfall,

every time you get into no one showed up to this gig, you take it on as like a romantic, like we're gonna, that made us stronger as a band. Yeah. So it's kind of bonding and kind of great. It's great for that, of like this belief that like we're gonna do it. And you just wrote all these songs and we did get to see a lot of the world and we got to, you know, I got to travel everywhere and I loved it but it was, I mean there's not any money in it. Yeah I loved it, but it was, I mean, there's not any money in it.

Yeah. You know, but, but it was like, it was also fantasy in that, like, I was like, I'm in a band. Yeah. But I certainly went back to Chicago and worked at Coffee Chicago or Java Jive or whatever. You know, like fully had a job, but I was, you know,

I'm on tour, like a tour for two months or whatever. Yeah. Yeah fully had a job But I was you know, I'm on tour like a tour for two months or whatever a month that defined my year Yeah, I was you know, that's what I do. I was on tour, but I came back with $30 Oh my god, if if that um, and that's not an exaggeration. It's just so what I mean We're young too. That's you can do that stuff when you're young. I know. When you're young, also money just goes a long way. You can have $20. I don't even remember how I did it, but do you remember like $20?

That was your week. Oh, yeah, absolutely. And you were kind of okay. Absolutely. I used to, there was, where I lived in the Ravenswood neighborhood, there was a Mexican grocery store and they made burritos, like these infant-sized burritos for like $3.50. And that many days, that was like, that was my nourishment for the entire day, you know? I always had money for cigarettes and liquor, but you know, like with food, I was like,

no, this Beaks and Claws burrito will be enough for me. God. Yeah. Anyway, money. Did you, I mean, was life on the road like a party? Or was it gross? No, no, no. We did this thing where we were very much like Boy Scouts.

Like, we really were neat. Yeah. And we packed our equipment away very neatly, and we took care of the van. And we packed our equipment away very neatly and we took care of the van. And was that everybody was in on that? Yep. Or was there, okay.

Yep, we were all really good. I mean, it didn't have extra people with us, it was just the band. So I gotta say, like, my memory of it is like, listening to great music, Damon, our singer, would make these mixed tape cassettes, pop it in and then it was great. And you'd just see, you know, the...

By the way, he popped it in overhead. Overhead. So that's in a van that had... Yep. Yeah. And by the way, a pull-out radio. Oh yeah, of course. So it didn't get stolen. You don't want somebody to steal that shit. No. So we'd go for breakfast and take that cassette. And also when you set that on the table at a bar, it's a fucking pussy magnet. set that on the table at a bar. It's a fucking pussy magnet. Also, what is the reality of it? Were people really stealing those? I guess they were.

I guess, no, people used to steal stereos. I had an AM FM radio in a Toyota pickup truck and somebody broke into my truck and tried to pry an AM FM radio out. Don't you wanna talk to those people now? And be like, was it worth breaking all that glass? I'm sure that their story is not a happy one. No, I know.

And anything that inspires such need, it's like, oh, OK. I know. I'm making a joke of it. But they might be like, oh, just for your information, many people around me OD'd and died. Yes. And I was, you know. I don't want to be a bummer, but I mean,

but no, I do not want to find out. But on the other hand, maybe some of them had great lives after. Maybe they were like, absolutely. I broke into people's cars, and then I got into engineering. Right. Then I opened my own car stereo store. It does happen. I'm sure. With the face of your AM FM radio. Because I couldn't get the radio up, but I did get the face.

I got the face. Yeah. But anyway, we traveled, we played, you know, really fun shows and got to meet a lot of people and saw, you know, even driving through Nebraska has a romantic notion to me. Like it's like, wow, when else would I have driven through and gone to Lincoln or whatever, or Seattle? So it was great. It was great. And, but like I said, like a campaign, we're gonna, it's happening next year, you guys.

Yeah. Did you feel that same kind of like zealotry with comedy when you started doing comedy? Or was that more sort of like, well, maybe, maybe not. That was more like, whoa, that's an interesting gig. Yeah. Wow, sure. Yeah. I'll do that.

That's fun. Whoa, I get to be on set of something, like in the movies. Wow, that was more sort of like amazement at every turn. Yeah. And which, by the way, my first time on TV was on being a guest on Conan's show. Oh really? Oh yeah. Oh wow.

My first stand-up performance. Wow. And that was in like... What year was that? Um... 94, 95? No, no, no. 2001?

Oh, okay. I think 2001. I must have been gone, I guess. 94, 95? No, no, no, 2001? Oh, OK. I think 2001. I must have been gone, I guess. I think you... I... Wow. I think I was. Maybe you were.

Yeah. Yeah, because when I look back at the video, that's right, I'm not turning it to you. Because I had to... I left in order to plan 9-11. Yeah. Because that took some time. And let me tell you something. You know, it really resonated for a while.

Yeah, I regret it now. Of course. But at the time it's just like, yeah, all right, let's give it a shot. Yeah. Little did you know. Like you with the band, we're gonna do it. We're gonna do it. I'm sorry people, I'm getting so uncomfortable just making the joke occur to me.

I said it and now I'm backing out. And then I also don't wanna seem like we're like, what's the problem? You can't joke about anything. I don't even wanna do that. No, no. I think we are making fun of even like the idea of those words.

Yes. 9-11. I don't know what I was doing. I say a lot of stuff and I have no idea why. I don't know. Are you ready to go to the phones, Fred? I just have 10 more minutes of describing what it's like to be in a band.

I'm so sorry. 10? 10 minutes of driving around. I'm so sorry, because I didn't cover going through Texas and California. I am so sorry. I am so sorry. Let's do that at the end.

You got it. To keep people tuned in. I get that a lot. Yeah, yeah. But OK. Let's do that for later. to keep people tuned in. I get that a lot. Yeah, yeah. But let's do that for later. Yeah. And we'll have time? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like in a movie when you want to do a take your way. We'll save that for the end, hon. And then, oops, they forgot about it. Oh, we can't do it. I would love to go to these. Yeah, let's go to the phones. Christine from Yonkers Hey, how's it going? How are you?

I'm good, Andy. It's Christine from the three-day champion podcast. Oh, hey there. How are you? friend Good to see you fired by Yeah, yeah you too. I was inspired by the prompt this week. Oh, good. We did a podcast together. Oh, nice. Yeah, that's, oh, that's available now, called Three Day Champion.

Oh, hi, hi, Hi, Three Day Champion. Like a comedian's being on a game show, except the game show is just the, you know, the sort of contestant chat. Okay. It's like an extension. Oh, I see, I see. It's really fun, yeah, yeah, yeah. So what do you got for us? the sort of contestant chat. It's like an extension. It's really fun, yeah, yeah, yeah. So what do you got for us?

And, yes. Well, I have a junior high school band story. Okay. So I played the flute, not very well, in junior high school band in Bayridge, Brooklyn. And there were like 80 of us. We would get crammed into this small public school rehearsal room with like no room at all.

Trombones couldn't even outstretch their slides. It was super tight. And our band teacher, Mr. Rubin, was a very stern man who carried this big circular key ring that probably weighed at least 20 pounds around his waist at all times because it had the keys for every instrument closet on it. Yeah. And one day before rehearsal... It was also probably excellent to keep him from catching birds, you know what I mean? Like he probably was worried about killing too

many songbirds. Yeah. Good for him. Oh, the jingle jangle. Yes, exactly. Yeah, the jingle jangle. Well, so he was stern, but there was this one day he came into the rehearsal room and he taps his baton on the music stand to get our attention. And he says, today is a great day for me. My wife just told me we're going to have a baby. And without missing a beat, Eddie Nelson, who was like the bad kid in the school, who played baritone sax from all the way in the back of the room he yells, who's the father? And like total silence in the room.

Mr. Rubin turns like every shade of red and then starts grabbing for his key ring and realizes like, you know, we all know Eddie is a dead man now. And so Eddie starts trying to crawl out from his saxophone row, but the chairs are all so tight that he just starts walking over everyone's laps to get out of Mr. Rubin's sights. And so like instruments sounds are like, like everybody's trying to scatter because we don't want to be in the line of fire. And Mr. Rubin finally gets his key ring loose from his belt and chucks it with all his might toward Eddie's head and misses him by like an inch and leaves a football sized dent in the lockers behind him. And Eddie made it out the door and literally ran straight out of the school and never turned back. Wow.

So why was he reaching for his key ring? He was... To chuck it. I see. That was his idea from the start. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was like his... Yeah. yeah, like, like Captain America shield. Yeah. Right. Like, you know, because in the room, it's like flutes, oboes, clarinets in the front. Then it's like brass, you know, trombones, French horns, vennets, baritone, saxes, tubas, whatever. So like he knew he couldn't like physically get to him.

So his first instinct was like, let me grab for this key ring and throw it at this kid. I'll endanger a number of children with this key ring throw. I'm really, I'm surprised he didn't just laugh it off. No shit! Because if he's in a good mood, by the way, that joke, it sounds like he probably heard it

on TV or something. Yeah, of course. So in its own way, it's like so light. It's like you just go. Yeah. All right, you know, right, right Haha, yeah move on. Yeah Unless he was actually not the father. Oh, right. Maybe he had Oh, and he was like and his wife was carrying another man's child, right? Or maybe he's throwing the keys in Jubilee Jubilation. Yeah. In celebration. Maybe we're seeing it wrong. He's like, no, that was so funny. Yeah. That- Help yourself to a few reeds out of the closet.

He was like, that's great. I love it. Threw it like- great, I love it through it. With a death full of joy. Let me give you brain damage. Oh my god. Yeah, no, it was, it definitely stuck with me. And of course, none of us ratted Mr. Ruben out. Right. You know, niches get stitches in Brooklyn but like it really like I don't think he even copped to it because I think he probably realized he would potentially get fired or reprimanded for almost braining a kid with a key ring oh yeah no that's that's also that's certainly is the good old days well congratulations anyway to mr. yes, congratulations and that child today is a locksmith. All right, well thanks for the

call. All right, see you later. Next up we got Dwayne from Michigan. Dwayne. Hello. I'm here. Hello. How are you? Great. How about yourselves? Hi, Dwayne. Great. I was just listening to the last story. That was amazing. Yeah. I mean, so much like I remember so much teacher violence. Yeah. Oh my God.

When I was a kid. That's and that's that's a good future topic for this show. Yeah, oh my god. When I was a kid. That's a good future topic for this show. Yeah. Teacher, I, one of our football coaches threw a kid in a library, threw him into a bookshelves, and like in a movie, knocked over a stack of like four bookshelves. Isn't it wild? It's amazing.

Multiple memories. Yeah, yeah. Of like really shaking people down and throwing them around and yelling. There was some serious screaming. That's like scream yelling. My older kids now like if I you know do any kind of scolding or correcting they are so sensitive and they're like don't yell. I'm like you do not know what it means to yell that no You do not know like I from when I was first dry out of the womb the yelling started from the stomach Yes, yelling from the stomach. Yes You know and just all the time all the time

Anyhow, Dwayne, what's your story here bud? Well, I'm a professional semi-professional musician Anyhow, Dwayne, what's your story here, bud? Well I'm a professional semi-professional musician. Oh nice. I get paid. Yeah, I get paid but I don't get paid a lot so that's where the semi comes in, right? What do you play? I play bass guitar.

Oh nice. Oh nice. Yeah, yeah. I didn't take band in high school, I really should have, but picked up the instrument in my senior year, fell in love with it and you know lo and behold found myself in a wedding band and we we played every weekend for about seven years it was amazing great yeah that's nice yeah it's fun yeah it's a great instrument yeah now is and of course you know there's there's always all kinds of you know

interesting things that go on at wedding receptions, but the one that really stuck out in my head was the one that I called you about. Okay. Um, it was, it was a case where the, the bride and the groom's families did not like each other and you could tell, I mean, the tension was palpable. They sat on separate sides of the hall. They didn't dance together. They didn't talk together.

It was, it was like playing to two separate crowds. Wow. And were people dancing? You know, um, yes but the brides side were dancing with the bride side and the groom side with the groom side. Wow. I wonder if they're still together. That's a good question. I wonder if they're out of jail because of what happened. Oh, it was a teaser. Well, we're in the middle of our first set when we're playing Satindal of what happened. Oh, there's a teaser. Well, we're in the middle of our first set

when we're playing Satindal of all things and I hear a shriek from the back of the hall where the wedding dais is set up and that's where all the wedding guests are sitting, you know, the party are all on the race platform. I hear this shriek of rage and I look over and one of the bridesmaids is attacking the best man and yelling that he stole money out of the dowry purse, you know, because they get money and they put it in the purse and the purse sits on the table. And she's just going to taunt him and she starts slapping him and trying to hit him and then the other guests are trying to pull him apart and then they start fighting. The next thing you know the whole room is in an uproar and people are swinging at each

other and people are falling on the floor and we decided that was the end of the show and started packing up to get the heck out of it. I was hoping that you were still cigarette holder. She digs me. You gotta keep going. Yeah yeah. You would think so, right? Well, we tried, you know, still scatting my satin doll.

Wow. But it didn't work out that way. So we decided that it'd be better to get out of there before they started attacking us. Right. Well, that was a fight ready to go. Oh, there's more. Yeah. Oh, there's more.

Yes. Well, the thing that really stuck in my head as we were shuttling equipment out the back door into the parking lot and the truck is there and there's police cars in the parking lot and they've got their lights all up and strobing and there's a police helicopter with a search light and he's waving it around like it's disco night

in the parking lot because the fight has now spilled out into the parking lot and The last image that I had before we drove away. Thankfully unscathed was of the bridesmaid Hanging on the back of the best man's Shoulders and she is pummeling him with the heel of her spike heels That is violent. That is crazy. It was crazy. It was crazy.

I mean, it was a relatively rough part of town, but I mean, you know, people are there to have a good time, right? Yeah. And maybe, of course, maybe that's what they like to do. Saturday nights all right for fighting. Did you get paid? That's why I was just going to ask. Oh, yeah.

Oh, sorry. Andy's asking. Sorry. No, no. Nobody. No, no. It's Kismet that we should ask together. Do you get paid up front or do you dip into the dowry purse? Oh, well, no, we didn't do that. No, they mailed us a check and the check cleared. So everybody, you know, I figure if the check clears, that's a good gig, right? Yeah, yeah, that is good. And also too, you didn't even have to play the extra sets. Yeah, but I mean, I like to play,

that's what I got into it for, so I kind of felt like we got a little cheated, but on the other hand, if you break it down to a dollar per hour, we probably came out pretty well. Yeah, I'm just glad you were safe. If I were her, I wouldn't have made it such a public accusation. I would have just taken the bride aside.

I mean, like, hey, just so you know, I think I saw someone so taking some money out of your, you know, or I'd go to that guy and go like, hey, man, put that back. Yeah. Yeah, really, really. We all saw you. Put that back. I feel like just from the sound of it, that this woman had a different upbringing than you or I yeah that like that That was not on the list of options. Yeah to quietly not in there

That I think it was she had one choice and that was go time. Yeah, she was ready. She's one. Yeah I was kind of surprised that she didn't go for the folding chair, you know. I know. That room was full of folding chairs. It sounds like wrestling families. Like, you know. Maybe that's the way they celebrate. Yeah. Could be.

Also, I'm guessing you're from... I'm going to take three guesses as to where you're from. Iowa, Minnesota, Illinois. No, state at the top. Michigan. Michigan. Oh, I messed up. Yeah, yeah. Very close though, very close. No, not close. I don't think. It was, you know, it's not, it wasn't a bad guess. I've never guessed correctly. Sometimes I try to do that like, hey, I detect a New Jersey accent wrong.

Right, right, right. Sometimes I'm good at it, you know, but it's not fair because I'm good at it you know but it's always it's not fair because I'm looking at where the callers are from so I almost you're cheating yeah yeah I am cheating it's my show I can do right there you go right for one hour a week I'm the king of my castle all right thanks for the call, Dwayne. Hey, thank you guys and take care and I'll keep on listening. Thank you. 855-266-2604, if you've got a story for me and Fred, we'd love to hear from you. Kevin from Iowa is here.

Yeah, hello. Kevin, this sounds like a good one that you got for us. Hi, Kevin. Yeah, hello. Kevin, this sounds like a good one that you got for us. Hi, Kevin. Yeah, hi, hi, Fred. And yeah, I actually I chose this one I wrote in with about 100 different stories. I actually filled out the form twice because I forgot some and thank you. The earlier yeah, well, the earlierers reminded me of even better stories so I thought like wow I've been doing this for a long time and I just wanted to say thank you for uh putting some space between me and the 9-11 jokes. Okay no problem. It really helped me out on a personal level and uh, oh good good yeah I appreciate that but since I

was speaking with the host of the Prince show which I loved and went back and filled myself back in on in the last couple of days. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. No. Boy, what a, you know, it shows that to do a great impression is not the perfection of it, but it's the vibe of it and capturing kind of the essence of the person. And man, that's to the real hardcore fans, that's what makes your impression on that show so funny. I appreciate it. There's so many kernels. Yeah, the truth is in there. And as you know, just from watching it, I'm a huge Prince fan.

I always loved Prince. I sometimes can't believe he's still, sometimes forget that he's dead. Yeah, it doesn't seem, it seems crazy. Yeah. Yeah Me too. Yeah, have you met? Have you have you had personal experience with print with Prince I? Have and what what a good segue is like you're a great host Andy keeping me on track Yeah, so my story is about personal experiences prints and you know, I don't want to make it sound like, you know, we're great friends or anything like that.

I mean, my experiences with Prince in person probably add up to about seven minutes total over my lifetime. Okay. It's more than me. But the reason you can't help that. Well, I feel very lucky and I'm lucky for those seven minutes, but what always happens and this happened to me the last time I saw Prince play was at Paisley Park and the crowd, there was about 30 people in the soundstage and Prince was doing a live concert for us. And I have to go back a little bit to tell you why every Prince experience gets ruined. And

the character I just called them or her, crazy Prince lady. And they're always there and they're like John Cena. Like if you look around the room you won't see one but if Prince walked in the room she would appear and this would happen. So you would start having a great conversation with Prince and you're really just inside, you know, falling apart because you're talking to this person that you idolize and then out of the blue you just hear these blood curdling screams and a lady curdling towards you and Prince just screaming out of her mind ready to pounce on top of this little guy and he gets one look at this

lady his eyes start to bulge out of his head and he just bolt the other way and it's like the comedy where you see a puff of smoke and Prince just disappears right and that that's the end of your experience because somebody noticed him that hadn't noticed him prior. Yeah. And decided to jump in. Yeah. So, so you're at one of these after the Yard of Paisley Park concert. Yeah. And is, yeah, and, go ahead. No, I mean, is that sort of like, that sort of sums up all of the different experiences you had with him? Yeah, I mean, like one time I was actually there, if you've ever heard Kevin Smith, and he tells his Prince stories kind of famously, and they've made their way kind of into the public consciousness, because

he tells them so well. But I was there when Kevin was doing his documentary for Prince, and we were in another room where I was about two feet from Prince, and Kevin is standing next to me with a microphone and the cameras on us and I'm talking to Prince about his brand new album that we've just heard for the first time and halfway through a sentence from the back of the room a lady just erupts and starts going trying to talk to Prince. And, boof, he's gone again. Wow. So, yeah, that was the end of our session with him. Yeah.

I'm guessing Prince was used to it. Used to it, yeah, but still, you know, he did seem like a timid woodland creature that would scatter quickly. Yeah. Maybe he hired that lady. That could be. To be like, when I need to break up these sessions.

Right, right, right. Yeah, when Kevin Smith asked me too many questions. Start freaking out. Start, yeah. And it gives me an headache. Yeah. Get me out of here. Yeah, I'm done with this interview.

Yeah. All right, well, Kevin, thank you so much. That's how it goes. All right. Hey, no, thanks for letting me call in. Appreciate it. Thank you, Kevin. Thank you.

All right, see you guys. Thanks. I can't remember Matt Damon's Prince story is that he was somewhere, I can't remember where, it might have been at SNL or something and that he's hanging out with Prince and that Prince isn't really talking and he, he, Matt Damon asked him like, and Matt Damon doesn't even think he knows, Prince knows who he is. And he's like, where do you live? And Prince went, I live in my own heart, Matt Damon. All the time. I live in my own heart. I'm going to be this guy 100% of the time. Yeah. I live in my own heart. We got Graham from New London, Connecticut. Hey, what's up? What's going on, Andy and Fred? How are you doing, Graham?

I'm doing fantastic. Thank you so much for letting me call in. These have been some great stories you've been having on the air here today. Oh, thank you so much. I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. Yeah. Very much so, very much so. Fred, I want to kind of pick up where you left off.

You were telling some cool stories about being a wayward youth on the road in a rock and roll band. I got one of those of my own to share. Let's hear it. Yeah, man. So back in the day, when I was a sophomore in high school, I hooked up with this group that we had a bunch of other high school kids. And we were all inspired by Silverchair. We thought if these could, if they, these Australian kids could put out like a hit record at the age of, I don't know what they were, like 12, like we could do it at 14. So we had this old like youthful energy doing shows at like teen centers, parks, wherever we could get a gig. And it went really well. We got a big following in Connecticut, you know, not really outside too much, but it's super easy to get a crowd when you're in high school.

It's like never easier than any other time. If there's anyone listening and you're in high school and you want to like rock in front of people now go now, it will never be easier to get in front of the crowd than it is now. So we got in front of a lot of crowds, but our manager, we have this guy who's booking shows for us, really cool, really good principles guy. We were lucky to hook up with someone who's not going to like take advantage of things. He got us a gig at the legendary New York punk club CBGB. Now that's like huge for us. It's like a dream come true. Sure.

It's like hallowed ground. I'm like, I get to stand on the same spot that Tina Weymouth stood like when they're when Talking Heads were coming up. That's huge for me. But there's a problem. No one knows who we are in New York city. We're nothing there. So we don't want to play CBGB to an empty house. So what we do in true, like we're all like either seniors in high school or had just graduated at this point.

So we rent a coach bus and we call up all of our friends, all the kids we went to school with, all the kids who would like regularly come out to our shows they all put down I guess it's like 10 bucks or whatever it cost got this coach bus filled it to the gills with like freaking out kids who have no adult supervision we're all just like doing our own thing bring it into the city and roll up on CBGB and get to play a show There not a single person from New York was in the crowd I don't think there was maybe like one or two people it was I should mention it was a matinee gig, too

So it's like a Tuesday afternoon rocking in the daytime You know it that's the time to do it I was just playing my bass a little bit waiting to get waiting to tell this story daytime to find time to rock I was just playing my bass a little bit, waiting to tell this story. Daytime's a fine time to rock. So we end up playing an awesome show. Got to play for a packed house.

It was like a dream come true. But there's a weird coda to this story. Months later, I eventually, you know, things end, I go to college, live the normal person life. I'm on the website collegehumor.com. I had worn my dare t-shirt for this. Now we were a straight edge band. I say straight edge because we were like straight edge by proxy. It was because we didn't know

anybody who could get us wheat. Yeah. So that's why we like, all right well we're lame so let's just say we're straight edge so at least we can be cool. But so when I wear a dare teacher, I was like kind of sincere about it. I wasn't, it wasn't an ironic thing. Well, college humor used my picture from our show at CBGB, cropped my head off and used me as the example of like the top five

lame things people in bands do, wearing an ironic dare t-shirt. Oh. But it was real. Straight up, I was honest. I don't, I'm good with it. It was t-shirt but it was real straight up I don't I'm good with it yeah it was earnest yeah truth truth I sent out an email I wanted to like set the record straight like hey you know I kind of meant that you got it wrong there right back but those are just I don't think she believed me just yeah there's I mean come on. It's college. Yeah. Yeah It was probably somebody younger than you. Yeah putting that up there. Yeah

Yeah, you're probably right. You're probably right All right. Well, um Thanks for sharing that with us. Hope you're still rocking Graham. Absolutely You better believe it. I'm a I'm a substitute teacher now So lots of opportunity to encourage young people to do what I was doing. That's awesome. That's great.

Awesome. Hell yeah. Very good. All right. Thanks, Graham. Thanks, Graham. Later, guys. Thanks so much. Bye-bye. 855-266-2604 is our number. Next up, we have a Tony from Austin, which is great music town, but apparently

this is not a music question, this is a wild card question. Okay, here we go. Which means, we'll take them whenever. That's the kind of fucking crazy show this is. Whatever you want to talk about, we'll talk about it when it's a wild card. Tony! Hello, gentlemen. What's up? Well, I heard about eruptions, I heard about like crazy weddings, and I thought, well, I think I have something that might fit the bill and it's definitely a wild card. So I thought I'd call in Okay, so I'm gonna eliminate that from my terminology I got it it happens you get used to it Okay, so I was part of a wedding I was best friend and

Several weeks before the wedding the bride allowed the groom to have a bachelor party and I emphasized the word allowed we were allowed to take him out to dinner and every 30 minutes he had to call in check in make sure that he had not gone anywhere inappropriate You know, this was... Man, man, man. Well, all right, you can go out with your friends. You've got it. You're painting a beautiful picture of this lady.

Yeah. Oh, just wait till you hear all the breast strokes in this one. Okay. So we do that. We're very good boys the entire night. We're done by 10 o'clock. We get him home. Everything's good.

Two weeks later, it's the wedding and it's the night before the wedding and we make it through their rehearsal dinner. The bride is a bit stressed out and as we get to the end, us grooves them, we kind of go over the corner and we're really just talking about like, okay, how are we gonna decorate their vehicle? Some of that, you know, good stuff that kids do, right? And as we're doing that, you know, good stuff that kids do, right? And as we're doing that, we notice that all of a sudden the bride is screaming at the groom and we look over at the head of the table and there's the groom kind of slumped down, right, with one hand over his eye and she's screaming every curse word in the book, all the good ones. And she's really tearing into him, you're just terrible. You're weak. You're a bitch. I'm not even going to go into all of it.

Point being is she's screaming at the top of her lungs. And of course we're kind of like, what the hell? And she's lost her mind. So the bridesmaids take her and they convince her to go outside. Meanwhile the groom is despondent. He's like, oh my god, she thinks you're taking me out on a bachelor party, the groom is despondent. He's like, Oh my God, she thinks you're taking me out on a bachelor party, the real one. And the reason why she thinks that is because the bridesmaids are taking her out to an awesome bachelorette party. He's supposed to stay at home and we're screwing things up. He had no plans for that. I can go to Chip and Gail, but you better go home. Exactly. Exactly!

I can get a bag full of dildos from my girlfriends, but you better go home! Exactly! And so we're just trying to get things calmed down, and as we're kind of taking the groom out from the restaurant, the bride starts screaming at the groom and the groom finally starts like getting angry and screaming back at the bride. And at this point, one of the other grooms groomsman kind of takes this as a sign of, okay, well this wedding's off. And so he goes, yeah, bitch. Well, that changed everything. Immediately. The bride charges across the parking lot. She jumps in the air. She's flying at the groomsman groomsman is flying at her. So all the other girls are trying to like hold on to him. Oh, exactly. In the parking lot. And

uh, we're like, where are the parents and all this? And of course they split before all this started happening. Yeah, they've been around this shit. They know what's gonna happen. Exactly. So we're peeling them back. She's now saying the wedding's off. There's no way this groomsman's going to be allowed in it. You've gotta go home. Nothing's going to happen. She's screaming at everybody.

So we're pulling the groomsman back. We take him across the street. We're just trying to get him drinking in a away because he's really the kind of the best friend with the groom and he just feels terrible for the groom. Like this guy's ruining his life. Well, eventually after sitting there for like 30, 45 minutes waiting on something or any news we go back across the street over to where the bride is still in the parking lot, still screaming at the groom grooms now yelling at her. He's saying the wedding's

off the wedding's off. Uh, at that point, the word gets back. The only way that they're going to save the wedding is if Tony goes and talks with the bride and calms her down. Now I'm in this quandary of like, Oh dear God, if I go over there and calm this down, now this is my fault. Like I contributed to this. I don't want to be the reason why he ends up with this for the rest of his days. Right. But ultimately I look over at him and he's like, yes, please go ahead and do it. So I go over there. I'm the good friend. I like, I said, well, someday I'm going to tell this to Andy

Richter, but I'm going to go ahead and try and calm things down. So I calmed it down. She's finally like, okay, yes, we will go through the wedding. I basically just said everything I could about how much he loved her, he's gonna love her forever, da da da, right? So the rule is the guy can only stay with me. All the other groomsmen have to leave, I'm going to watch over this groom so that he does nothing, and she's gonna go out to her bachelorette party. So we end up at their apartment, he's sitting in a chair just kind of despondent about the whole thing. All the groomsmen end up showing up the apartment to check on our friend and the phone rings And it's her and she has told this whole tale to her bridesmaid and gotten worked up all again So she's screaming again at the top of her lungs

Well now the groomsmen can't keep their mouths shut then she hears that they're in the building So she's calling out the whole wedding again. So I'll fast forward because I'm, it's already painful. It's ill of. And we get to the next day we managed to get to the wedding. We're, we're there. The bridal party goes out like, you know, in pairs one at a time. And I'm the best man.

So I'm next to this woman. I don't know. And we're about halfway down the aisle and we hear this god awful thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump. And we turn around and there was a long stairwell that led from the second floor down to the opening where the, the wedding is to be. And the bride had fallen the entire stairway down and then busted through the doors and was laying at the bottom of the Of the stairs and she's screaming that

You know right there in front of everybody and wedding off because she fell or if she was just angry in Which she pushed wedding off because she fell or if she was just angry in general? Or was she pushed? Or was she pushed? If it was it was only it could have only been by her father and I would have totally believed it. Oh wow. The only thing that saved the day, well if you consider it saved, is that when she yelled the weddings off the little flower girl was about halfway down the aisle. And so the flower girl turns around hearing the

weddings off, she starts picking up the flowers and putting them back in the basket. That got the whole, there must have been a hundred people at the thing, 150, and they're all laughing and it got the bride to laugh too. And it was the only thing that calmed things down to where she got up and continued walking forward. And when she gets up there, they start reading the vows and they're reading to each other. And the first line in hers was, the groom will do anything for me. And at that point, one of the groomsmen kind of goes, no shit under his breath, but loud enough where at least the first several rows heard it. Now it's another uproar. Uh, but they calm everything down. They go ahead and get through the wedding.

And then after the wedding, uh, the groom and the bride, they jumped in the car, they leave and the parents bring this giant box of all the liquors in the world out. They throw it open and they call it the thank-god-she's-gone party And they threw that whole party They really were the happiest day of her life. I feel like they really Were like threatening to call the wedding off all the way through. Yeah. Yeah, they were like in love I feel like the wedding's off the wedding's off and and are they together still? Yes Great The wedding's off. The wedding's off. And are they together still? Yes.

Oh, wow. They are. Great. It's been like 20 something years. Wow. And it'd be funny if they still said, by the way, this wedding is off. Right, right, right.

Even now, the anniversary's off. Yep. For every bridezilla, there's a weak ass pussy bitch of a man. Is this such a- do they call it a groomzilla? I don't think so, no. They just call it a man. They just call it a dude.

This man. Yeah, well thanks Tony. That was a good wild card. Alright, I'm gonna go and cry, uh, dance a little bit. I was just testing rich there and he failed. All right. Later gentlemen. All right. Thanks Tony. Oh dear. That's that's that's like, that's stressful. That's just like to have somebody screaming at you and then to be like

all dressed up and you know, and everybody's there, it's just awful. It's, it seems like they just want that drama. They want that wedding to be, you know, there was no part of them that was like, well, can we talk about this in another room? And there's, yeah, and also just the fact that like, there's so much between us that overrides this. Yeah, yeah.

This like, where you can't go out with your friends or have your friends over to our apartment. I think it was up to both of them to go like, look, we don't do well with these bachelor or bachelorette parties. Right. I think we don't do it, let's not do it. Yeah, yeah.

It's just not worth it. Right. This is going to cause fights, which it did. I've never understood that kind of like jealousy stuff anyway, cause it's like, if somebody's gonna fuck around they're gonna fuck around you know. This is the official hour of not doing it. Yeah yeah. You cannot go no, thou shalt not pass. Not now. Yeah. Yeah I don't think so I don't think that'll do it. No. Because there's nothing that keeps you faithful more than scolding and yelling.

Really? I do love you. But they're together. Yeah. So what do we know? Yeah, what? Nothing. I don't know nothing. I don't know nothing. Buster, another Texas call. I hope it's not crazy.

Buster, are you there? Yes, yes. Hi, Buster. Hi, Buster. Hi there. I'll get the crazy out of the way. Oh, that's all right. I don't mind.

I was just kidding. I actually kind of hope it's crazy. Yeah, I know you a little bit, but first I'll say, Kepla, Busterrokh, Pongudzhe, Slingonma, Kaven. That's Kaven. I always like to agree with people. For all we know, you just activated a sleeper cell. Oh, you know, you know, maybe. Maybe the empires come for us after all My story is okay

It has to do with Willie Nelson. Okay back when I was like, you know many many sons ago a college kid I went and I was working at a place called Nutty Jerry's where I was a lighting director And so whenever a show would come in, you know to reach out we would i would just basically their lighting assistant all day i get the gel set the focus done you know everything translated over their equipment whatever it may be so it's a constant and they also have when yes no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no but no i know i think that i really really don't know i thought you said waiting okay i got you i got you can you get my heart okay that's all right uh... lot in

there you go okay uh... but and but put that in their mixes clear i got it uh... yeah but i was like we were actually originally before i worked there it was an outdoor rodeo of of venue and i like the place of like a place called Winnie, Texas. And they enclosed it, added a restaurant to the front and it became like

a 6,000 seat at Max venue. This was the most packed we'd ever been. Having Willie Nelson at a Texas, a new Texas venue is like a huge milestone. I should think. Right, as you can imagine. Yeah. Well, I was, Buddy was with his lighting designer by the way shout out to him if he's still around with us He was working for Willie at that time for 35 years plus Wow and The rest of his guys 20 years minimum. Yeah, and His previous gig had been assistant lighting designer for David Bowie. Oh, wow Crazy. Yeah, really cool dudes like these guys are some of the biggest legends in

roadie history, I suppose. Yes. And anyway, I was, it was towards the end of the show, earlier in the show, I had to drop water on stage and everybody thought I was Willy for like two seconds. It was funny. But later in the show, like, you know, at the end of the show, everybody's like leaving and I'm pulling up what we call an audio snake for the uninitiated in the world. An audio snake is generally like 56 cables like audio cables I believe rolled up into one jacket or audio board going from stage to front house and it's like a hundred pound cable when it gets rolled up and I was like you know I'm 5'1", I'm tiny. I'm carrying this giant, like I'm rolling it up and carrying it as I go. And I have to like gain momentum to throw

it up like four feet up on a stage that, you know, that's just like a bare stage in the middle of like a cement floor. Sure. Willie, I'm not like paying enough attention. And like I had, I think it's lovey who I believe, I can't remember what his position, but he's been with Willie for a long time. I believe it was himy who I believe, I can't remember what his position is, but he's been with Willie for a long time. I believe it was him who stopped me because I was literally about to like dump a 100 pound cable on Trigger who is Willie Nelson's famous guitar that already has a hole in it. So

Yeah, it was it was pretty wild. It was a good day Like Willie was really kind to me afterward, but I just couldn't believe I had just, you know, I felt like I had almost committed the greatest sin I could as an actor. Oh, so you didn't break it. You didn't break it, but you came close. No, no, no, no, no. I nearly got there though. I was like, literally like, run, because I'm so, you know, again, if the stage is four feet and I'm five one,

it has to like, I have to run at the stage a little bit to hop that thing up there comfortably, you know, and efficiently. And you know, at the end of a show, it's like, everybody's like, all right, let's go, let's go. Yeah. But that would have been on them though. That would have been, if that's a guitar you have to secure.

Right. That's gotta be in the flight, like there's, that's a guitar you have to secure right that's got to be There's that's their responsibility, but honestly to Pulverized it into splinters. I think he probably would have had someone glue it back together Yeah, cuz that guitar has been rebuilt and rebuilt and rebuilt. Yeah Yes built and rebuilt and rebuilt. Yeah. And in fact, like, yeah, the story behind it is that he was recording one of his sort of the albums that made him Willy, you know, where he's getting away from strings and, you know, move him back to Texas. And he just put in a call and said, I want a classical guitar. And they just had one and they sent it over to him and that just became his guitar forever. But in the early 90s when

we were on late night he was a guest and he had Trigger with him at this talk show set and Conan was saying oh look at all these different you know autographs because it's covered with autographs like Johnny Cash. And Willie said like, well, y'all want to sign it? And Conan was like, sure, okay. And all he has is ballpoint pens. And so we both signed Trigger with ballpoint pen. trigger with ballpoint pen and I just was like, and I said this, I said, I just can't help but feel like you're just being polite. Like there's no reason that my name should be on like one of the most famous guitars

in all of music history. That's a really, like honestly, there should be like a documentary just on the history of that guitar Yeah, it's it is. It's pretty amazing by itself at this point. Yeah. Thanks for the call buster. I'm glad you didn't do it. Oh Man y'all I you honey you have no idea Yeah, oh my goodness, all right Thanks guys. All right. Well, thank you. Thanks guys. All right

All right. We got we got just a couple minutes here. Uh, Justin Is on the line. We just literally like three minutes here. Uh, but you've got a question for fred Hey, andy, how are you guys doing? Hey fred good. Good. Hello Hey andy just really quick. I'm from Oswego, Illinois. Oh, hi. I used to go bowling in Yorkville all the time when I grew up in the 80s. Yeah, nice. So yeah, hometown boy.

Nice, nice. Yeah. Hey, just really quick. Fred, I didn't realize, huge fan by the way, I didn't realize that you also lived in Chicago and I guess for a bit and you guys did on documentary now that Blue Gene committee parody and I thought that was awesome of the Eagles. And I guess you and Bill Hader, where did you draw some of those accents or where did you do all your research to do that great documentary from?

Because the accents were on par. Well, that's really nice of you. That came from watching the Eagles documentary, where I think they're from Michigan originally, or a lot of them. And they moved to California. So we just thought, what's a Midwestern place we could be from? Chicago seems very like working class and, you know, kind of tough. Yeah. So we wanted it to be like the opposite of

California like instead of laid back and easy, we thought Chicago people came from like meat packing plants like those guys. So it's just like what Bill and I would think of it is our Chicago accents. Chicago talk. Yeah. Those the toughest toughest ones. But I, of course, I understand and that there are many Chicago accents. That's just the one that we did. You don't have to be sensitive about Chicago accents. You don't. You don't. How dare you. I love that. That doesn't sound like us. That does not. I don't talk like that. My dad's not my, it's not how my dad talks. And it drew me and Andy because I got out of Swiggo when I moved to Ravenswood and Wrightwood and Lincoln Park and went to DePaul when I was 18 and got out of the,

got out of the Kendall County area. Yeah. I always hear you and I'm a huge fan here. So it's great to have a hometown boy like ours. I root for you all the time, Andy. Oh, thank you, Justin. Thank you very much. Thanks, Justin. You got it, man Yeah, thanks Fred huge fan too. So thanks for your time guys All right That was it Fred. That was it was interesting a lot of um

fights yes seems like a lot of Physical conflict no yelling like more like yelling conflicts fights. It seems like a lot of physical conflict. More like yelling. More like yelling conflicts. Even in the non-musical calls. A lot of fights. Keys being thrown. High heel. Because that's what music brings out in people. Hostility and violence.

And threats of, I'm calling this off. Yes. That's why I forbid it from our house. Yeah. My children will never hear music. Never. Never. Silence. We usually pick a favorite here.

I have to go with Dwayne and the wedding, that, you know, the brawl at the wedding, you know. Yeah, because that's like, the brawl at the wedding, you know. Yeah, because that's like, which brawl do you mean? I mean the one where he was on stage playing satin doll. That one. Or the other, you know, either wedding brawl.

I agree with you about that one because he's privy. He's like in this, he's in a position to witness something where also, by the way, they didn't care that the musicians could see. It's funny that they're like, well, there are these strangers here. Yeah, who gives a shit? Might as well be a jukebox.

That's what I mean. It was just like non-people to them. Yeah, yeah. Well, too bad. Whatever. And that one, it's funny, because that story, I'm like, I wanna get a little bit to the bottom of it.

Like, dowry, what was it, sitting out? Well, that is a thing at weddings where there is like a purse. I mean, and I don't know if it's a cultural thing or just a standard American wedding thing, but there is a purse that all the money gets put into and that there is, but there's usually, I think, supposed to be like some family member watching it

with an eagle eye because- You be like some family member watching it with an eagle eye. Because... You know, whatever family member stole it, you almost want to go like, buddy, if you need 20 bucks, just... Yeah, what the fuck? Yeah, you'd think, but whatever. Well, Fred, thank you so much.

Thank you. This was absolutely fun. Thanks for inviting me. I think actually Ricky's coming in next week to do this. So, Ricky Lindholm, your better half, if I can call her that, yeah. We'll be in next week. And I appreciate all of you listening and I'll be back next week with Ricky and stay tuned now for Lori Kilmartin's Stand Up on Conan.

Stand up, stand up, on Conan!