The Three Questions with Andy Richter - H. Jon Benjamin

Episode Date: January 3, 2023

H. Jon Benjamin (Bob's Burgers, Archer) joins Andy Richter to discuss his winding path to comedy, messing with execs, why he stopped doing bits on Late Night, and much more.

because we've started by the way i like to do a soft rolling i mean very soft right i mean shoving as george byrne said like shoving an oyster in a coin slot soft. Jesus. That's so descriptive and perfect. I'm like, oh, man. Thanks, George Burns. Thanks, Carl Reiner. Anyway, hi.

I'm so happy to be talking to you. I'm talking to H. John Benjamin. Yes. No, I heard that the H is because uh laura silverman was fucking with you is that true uh yes well it is my name i do have a first name harry right harry not harold harry just harry yeah i have two nicknames for names my parents were very casual yeah too lazy to finish it. Easier on the form, maybe? Maybe, maybe. Yeah, so Harry.

Harry's my grandfather's name. But they called you John, though, right? They called me John. I don't know what happened with the grandfather. Well, you know, I'm Paul Andrew. Okay. And so I've been Andy my whole life. So you should do what I do, just do pee.

Because there was no other Andy Richter because it's such a, like it just kind of reeks of generations of dairy abuse. So there's like no one would ever try that name, Andy Richter. I don't know. It sounds like a brand of corn meal. Although Paul Richter, I don't know. Maybe that maybe that's better well why did they decide to drop i asked my mom once and she's and now she says that she never said this but i know she said this she said i like the way paul andrew sounded but you're named after my uncle paul and i don't like i didn't really like my uncle paul so I didn't want to call you Paul and be reminded of him.

I think that was probably a similar situation. Although, yeah, I think it was my mom and dad probably arguing over. Yeah, yeah. Although Harry is a pretty cute little, a good name for a kid, you know? Yeah. A little kid named Harry. Yeah, that's me. That was so cute.

That was so cute. Laura did it maybe not as a joke i think she just put h john benjamin i don't know why she filled out did you let her fill out your form i wasn't good with forms then still still problematic laura still does them for me you know she has a life of her own i know but she can't just be filling out forms for you. I want to get a frequent buyer card from Ralph's, Laura. Can you come over here? I know we haven't dated in 31 years, but can you please? Oh, that's hilarious. She filled in the credit form for Dr. Katz when we were on together.

We were dating then, so I don't, yeah. It was a bit of a joke, maybe. But you stuck with it. I did. I don't know why. You didn't have to, did you? No, I didn't. I didn't.

I don't know why I did. Because now it's just confusing and problematic with our, you know, with passports and licenses and everything. Sure. I'd sell out. It does make you seem classy, though. Maybe that is. That's the main thing.

Maybe it was. Right. Jonathan Katz, speaking of Dr. Katz, used to say it stood for ha-fectation. That's a good one. Yeah. Yeah. But you're, I mean, but you're now, you're in a home studio though, right? Do you do all your work from home now?

I'm in a nursing home. I wondered why the shirt opened in the back. I might have to get washed during this. That's all right. Yeah. That's all right. Oh, I did. This sort of, yeah, this came out of the where yeah where everybody the government gave everybody a home studio

i record i actually recorded dollars and a and a podcast i i recorded uh for bob by bob's burgers just recently oh okay and and uh i had to go to a studio here in town and Kristen was on the other end from home and she's like, don't you have your own home studio now? And I was like, no. I got a microphone. I plug it in my computer, but...

Right, all the... No, I don't have my home studio. But you have a podcast, so you do it out of your... Out of my bedroom, basically. I mean, I'm in my daughter's room now um because the cleaning the cleaning person is here so i it's like if i want my bathroom cleaned i have to come do the podcast in here in my daughter's room things have come a long way i

mean they used to do uh they used to do dr cats uh from a kitchen pantry. Oh, really? Yeah, it was totally like a podcast back then. Yeah. They didn't have a studio. That is kind of fun, though, you know? It was fun. I thought it was a fake show for like six months. I didn't, because I was like, that was my first job. And I couldn't imagine this was for real.

I felt like the Conan show was a fake job for a while. Like for the first six months. I know, but I still, I would do it every day. the conan show was a fake job for a while like for the first you were on six months i know but i still i would do it every day but then if i was out and it was on like on a tv above a bar i'd be like nah what the fuck am i doing up there right that's true that's you know that's still a bit of a shock but when you're when you're doing an animated show out of an old man's kitchen you don't really know him that well you start to wonder if this was real and who's completely unrelated to the yeah to the production right wait so i pay you for this

all right you don't speak any english really okay here you go so i thought it was six hundred dollars a week for me but it's for you okay right well now you are originally you know this i gotta you know i gotta i gotta interview you now as much as i'd like to just chew the fat with you and yeah that's what we do ask about you know how many i don't want to fall i don't want to fall into our old habits i know yeah uh just lots of invective laughter but lots of tears too yeah yeah we like it salty and sweet no you're originally from new england you're from massachusetts yep central mass worcester mass

worcester and worcester is a tough town right worcester was a tough town. Yeah. Yeah. A little, it was a depressed city, I would say. That's how, that's its motto. Well, welcome to Worcester, a depressed city. Right. Well, were you aware of that as a kid? Did it seem like a depressed town to you? A little bit. I mean, my family was solidly middle class, upper middle class, but we lived on the cusp of a very working class neighborhood. And my elementary school was like very working class, Irish Catholic. So, yeah, I was aware of it all the time. Yeah. But I was, I could just silently judge it.

No. They only occasionally threw mud on your sailor suits. Well, I was like a, you know, I don't know. The best example would be I was Jewish in a predominantly Irish Catholic elementary school and went to Hebrew school. So the Hebrew bus would pick me up and that was the worst. You know, that was like, yeah yeah you didn't want anybody to know was there outright anti-semitism or just sort of not like not like mild kind yeah mild the understood kind yeah a lot of yelling at me but never never I was specifically about your religion a lot of jokes and yeah maybe a bit of pushing around

right right but not like back my father grew up there and i think it was a lot more physical right abuse right right like difficult to walk home you know yeah yeah you know i remember i had a teacher who grew up in oak park or oh yeah oak park which is a nice yeah yeah old neighborhood of chicago and he's that where the frank lord right uh yeah yeah there's a there's a few different frank lord right houses in there yeah but he grew up there and he said like when he was like 12 irish cops would shake him down he and his friends they'd pull over and they'd be like you you are you boys jews they'd be like no and they're like yeah you are what's your name and then they'd be like they would he would he swore they would extort them based on what their parents did

oh okay what's your dad doing if your dad was a doctor he'd they'd ask him for but like old grown men shaking down 12 year old boys and i. And I believe him, you know? Yeah, probably true. It's a fun world. Right. Just gets better. I like the sliding scale, though. I know, exactly. Like, doctor, give me like $100.

Right, right. I mean, he's not... Bricklayer. He's stealing, but he's not unreasonable. Right. I never had a run-in with a Worcester cop, I don't think. you didn't no what kind of kid were you growing up jewish no uh i was a wise ass i think you know and i i didn't that probably is where i developed my humor a lot i did get made fun of a lot for being little yeah and and jewish uh. So those two things combined.

That was formative years, you know, elementary school years. Right. Where I think I, you know, developed that as a defense. Yeah. And honestly, it was a bit of mimicry. I mean, you know, when I'm getting made fun of a lot, I sort of learn to do it to them, from them. They were forced.

You're like, I'm apparently in this game. I better learn how to play it. Right. Yeah. If I can't just walk away. Right. I also think too, when you, part of smart assery is not just a defense mechanism to sort of, you know, throw your bullies off by making them laugh. I think there's also like this, I got a fucking, there's my dignity involved here. So I have to make fun of these fucking idiots,

you know, just so that I can feel like yeah but look at him jesus christ what morons yeah a little you know what i mean it was yes uh probably it was probably a little mix of yes it's one it's a way to retaliate yeah i guess but also at the same time as a a way to ingratiate yourself to them yeah there's There's a Stockholm syndrome, I guess, a little bit. Yeah, and I do think I sort of tried to develop a more sophisticated version of what they were doing. That's probably how it worked out for me. Yeah.

Yeah. You've got to pay it forward by making it a little better. Do a better job of the people that you pick on all right you threw a penny at me i have to figure out how to i'm gonna heat up a nickel with a lighter so it will sear your skin when i throw it yeah well did you i mean did you know you were going to be in con did you think about being a performer a lot when you were young or you know not no not at all uh yeah no i was a bit all over the place in in high school i it's sort of when i went to college where i started to think about being a teacher for a while there was a year after college where i entertained becoming a rabbi um really i went to seminary like night classes at the theological

seminary up in when i moved to new york for for a bit and took a few classes at seminary i don't think i ever knew that yeah as long as i've known you i don't think have you ever mentioned that or um maybe in a few interviews like somebody somebody asked uh but i was yeah and then i did go to i finally ended up in graduate school which i think was a stalling tactic yeah figuring out what i um and then realized pretty quickly in graduate school that i i couldn't hack it what was it about being a possible rabbi that drew you into it? I mean, I think it was from family history. One side of my family was fairly Jewish practicing. They weren't Orthodox, but they were conservatives, and my family were conservatives.

That's a sax of Judaism, which is a little more ritual to it. I thought you were going to say oomph. That Yiddish oomph. A little more zing. So was it, but I mean, are you a religious person? Were you a religious person then? No, my family was not particularly religious. We were more, but they they were my father's sister's family were more religious um so from them i i think yeah um but i don't think it was that came and went pretty quickly how did you feel while you were taking these religious training or this religious training

i liked i liked the courses i remember i remember uh it was all interpreting interpreting talmudic texts yeah so it was mainly a literature course you know right right but then doing that i realized fairly quickly that i'm also well it was funny and that's that's how i mean half the rabbis it's pretty much funny yeah pretty much jokes oh that's great that's like a half a sermon you know right right fill it with i mean my my rabbis that i've like that i knew were not that funny but try tried very hard you know almost like failed comedians uh but interpreted the talmud really well. With sound effects. So you went to college to study just stuff, you think? Yeah, when I was

in college, I got interested in I majored in history and I did American history and then went to graduate school for Holocaust studies. Jesus, again, with the Jewish angle. Right. I can't get out of my own way.

So that also added. And then I think that's when I had enough. Well, they had enough of me, too. I sort of dropped out of graduate school. I went to Northwestern. Yeah. And in Chicago. And I really did not cut it there. Yeah. me too i sort of dropped out of graduate school i went to northwestern yeah and in chicago and i really did not cut it there yeah graduate school was difficult i mean yeah but many talented historians in my group and i was literally a bold exception yeah and that uh helped me

move into comedy as well it was a very funny situation yeah i took a couple of courses in college like a couple of sociology courses that were a few steps ahead of what i could handle and i was like oh no this is a terrible mistake these people are real sociologists they can read and retain this stuff and aren't bored by it yeah i'm in trouble yeah i i've i've flamed out quickly there and then what but then i was very popular for being that person and that that was that was in evanston or or just everywhere no you know in my graduate program people People were like, what? Like, it was, I was. What the fuck are you doing here?

Yeah. They would laugh when they saw me. Like, you are really, you're not supposed to be here. I know. It's a good bit, you got to admit. Yeah. We're going to invite you over. You got to meet these, they're going to love that you're this terrible. So is it just back home and not knowing what to do?

Well, then I started doing, I didn't, I started doing comedy and I moved to Boston. My friend Sam Cedar, who you know, was doing stand-up. He had dropped out of law school. So we both kind of dropped out of programs around the same time. And he was trying to be a stand-up comedian. And I went and we moved in together. So I wasn't doing any comedy, but he was. So I'd go see him a lot. And that's how I started. And did you start doing stuff with him or did you start doing solo stuff? Well, he really struggled.

At that time, he was doing open mic spots, mainly at Catch a Rising Star, which was in Harvard Square. And, you know, the manager of that club did not particularly like him. That always helps. And he did sort of struggle coming up. He was, um, uh, he had some jokes,

but he also did a lot of meta stuff and he wasn't having a lot of success. Cause it was probably in the wrong place. Yeah. Yeah. Also the Booker would like slot him like at like one 10 in the morning. They'd be like literally it would be i'd come with him and sit at the bar and uh wait for his slot and he'd finally get on and they were cleaning up the tables like he'd perform he'd perform to nobody yeah yeah yeah

and then you were so inspired you're like let me add it well we did I don't I don't remember how we devised it but I was I think together we I was like kind of like you you got to do something different or it could have been him I don't remember right uh like you you think you gave him notes no I think we just were like, what would work? And we kind of deconstructed his act. And that's how I got involved. That was the first time I performed. So we reformed his act into a comedy duo called Sam. And every show was a reunion show. was a reunion show because, you know, there was a backstory. You know, these guys, we kind of got into, you know, we would tell the host to introduce us as like, these guys were a big deal and they broke up and this is a big. And then we'd go on stage and Sam would do his act,

which was, you know, had also never, you know, always faltered. And I would bring a chair up and sit in the back and make a laugh whenever he told his joke on every punchline. And then halfway through, I would get up and throw a fit. Like, this is the same bullshit as, you know, before. When we were together. Yeah, I don't want to do this. I sit back there and I laugh at your dumb jokes. And we started a big, huge argument, which would last for like three minutes.

And then I'd storm off. And that became a duo act that we would do frequently. And it started to go over people. I mean, because it is still conceptual. And I imagine you were still doing one o'clock in the morning. Yeah, but it it caught on that bit yeah you know that was actually in in an era where you know you could have one bit you know yeah and you just keep doing it or in the world of stand-up you'd have three to five

minutes or something right uh then you could open anywhere all across the country. And if you develop that into 15, then you would middle. And then, you know, 45, and you'd be the headliner. So we kind of became an opener that we would be able to do that bit. Oh, cool. Yeah. Yeah, and I imagine it's good to hire, like if you're a stand-up, you know, that's like a middle guy who's doing, you know, closing on a regular night locally,

it's like, yeah, this is like a little theatrical piece. This will, you know, fill out the evening nicely. You know what I mean? Rather than just another person standing on stage. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, there were enough clubs where you could sort of tour around and do that one bit we had.

Yeah. And then a sketch troupe noticed us and, like, brought us in. So we joined that. Wow. And then that's how I sort of became more, you know, write and perform stuff more. And did it, had it been something that you'd been wanting to do or did it kind of creep up on you? It just creeped up on me. I mean, mainly it was osmosis.

It was like Sam was doing it. I think he needed something to figure out how to make his stand-up career work. And this enhanced it. So, yeah, and then that led to a bunch of a string of different comedy well not a string but two different comedy troops and which ended up being david cross's troop cross comedy that we joined and that had a you know that had somewhat of a following already in boston so that was a big that was and there's other people i mean aside from david cross there were like other people who have gone on to keep working in comedy the other but a lot of the members of cross comedy went on

to continue to do it and are successful in comedy now except for sam sam went political he did yeah yeah i mean he's was that was that weird for you when he started just as a side note was that weird for you when he started being so because he side note, was that weird for you when he started being so, because he still was entertaining as a political commentarian. And he's funny a lot of the time, but was it weird when he kind of? No, not at all. I mean, I knew him. He always had one foot in comedy, even in college. We went to college together.

So I did meet him in college. And I also, he college together so that i didn't meet him in college and i also he's from my hometown so i knew him prior uh we weren't friendly before college but we got very friendly in college and he was always uh very political ran for student office every year and at the same time was very interested in performing comedy he brought me into his radio show he had a you know in the college radio show so we look i was always kind of drawn he was always like kind of bringing me along yeah so i was sort of sight for people who don't know sam cedar uh is now pretty much just does does a daily political commentary has a daily political podcast he used to be on that i can't remember the name there was like a liberal radio network

for a minute that he was on daily air america air america yeah yeah but he's really good he's great he's great yeah i always remember i always remember, because at the time that I started getting... Because you guys then moved to New York, right? Did you both move to New York at the same time? Not at the same time. I think I had gotten Dr. Katz, so I stayed in Cambridge for a year, year and a half before I moved. Right. And then he had moved on and continued to try and do stand-up, I think, in San Francisco with Mark Maron.

Right. So we lost touch for a few years and then, and then I moved to New York. Cause in the early Conan years, it got to be, and as it always does with somebody in his position, it got to a point where it's like, Conan's going to start producing shows.

Like he's going to be a TV producer. And one of the first things they ever did was you and sam in beat cops and i'm and i because i knew you guys at the time and i knew when you were shooting it and i you know i saw i saw it in the in the office one day but then it would just what i always remembered about it was then you know then the late night show plays out the tonight show we moved to tps and on the tbs stage like there was like parts of the stage where we never moved in i mean for like 11 years there was a pile of boxes in a corner that were never moved and one of them there was a pile of old videotapes

on a stairwell on the way down to the stage that never moved for 11 years. And on the top of that open box was beat cops just sitting there staring at me. So every day I got to walk by and remember the pilot of you guys being beat cops. If I remember correctly correctly the premise was nothing ever really happens kind of wasn't it like a little i think yeah they never really did any interesting crimes no they i think dealt with yeah this sam made a version on his own

he was he was kind of ahead of his time really he was started to make his own projects when it was cheap to shoot video and i think he would self-fund and there was like a self-made pilot of of that and were you in both of them or were you so sam made it you know much like an indie film like he made a he made his own pilot i remember it being funny but i just it's also yeah i don't remember the second one so much the first one the premise was there were two cops who were uh desk jockey cops like never never went out and then the mayor of new york uh wanted to put more cops on the street you know a tough on crime mayor and they sent these two guys there. And so we were just fumbling idiots walking around.

Yeah, yeah. Being like, we don't like this. It writes itself. Yeah, it writes itself. Yeah. Look, I'm not talking about Sam Seder anymore. Enough. It's enough.

Yeah, I agree. Let him come on. And you know what? I guess I'll probably have him on now. You could have him on, yeah. Yeah, because how dare he try and invade this interview well get him but you know i absolutely would not be in comedy if it wasn't for him and oh that's nice yeah that's i think it's cool that you you did something with somebody like i if i had tried stand up in the beginning i wouldn't be doing comedy

because it's just it's too fucking lonely i i just i don't like doing comedy by myself very much right i've never did either and that that uh familiarity with the performing with somebody else that was definitive for me right you know then that came from sam uh from us performing together and then i went i started a long string of duos yeah yeah now i want this actually brings me to something that i was i because i wanted to talk to you about this because um you know i got to know you used to do a bunch of you did a bunch of bits on the Conan show with us. But I think I knew you before that. I just knew you from churning in the same froth at that time in New York and meeting different comedy people.

And you knew people that worked on the show even from back in Boston days. So we just got to know each other. And I liked you from the minute I met you. And we became friends. And after I left Conan, there were different opportunities where I actually had a chance to cast people in things, like recommend people in things.

And I used to recommend you all the time and you would never leave your apartment. You would, I would be in LA. That's totally true. Well, it was, I mean, it was somewhat true and it was kind of in a way enviable. Like I was, I kind of found it fantastic, but I know there was at least one, if not two times that I was in LA and was like, hey, come, they're interested in this. And you were like,

I'll put myself on tape in my apartment for it. And then at that same time, you told me a story once. I had a nice apartment. No, I know. But also it's like, if you're happy at home and whatever, I don't know if it was like just you were-

Well, it wasn't like agoraphobic. I would go out. No, I know that. But I would shun a lot of work. I think even at one point, Conan and Jeff Ross still tell the story how I just decided to refuse to do any more parts on the show. Yeah. And that was like an easy 800 bucks.

And they were like befuddled. And I'm like like i'm never doing it again but i think it was more just i remember people laughing about that like ha ha ha oh what a funny guy he's what a funny joke but no no he's not joking yeah much i wasn't well i probably was and i just stuck with it just because i knew it you were like that i mean because you're not like like if you were an egomaniac asshole like if you were like thought that you you know were you know incapable of making a bad smell and that you were just like the greatest thing to grace performing ever it would be one thing but you're like a lovely nice person who just was like

to all these different things that people were like hey man you're great i love being working with you come work with me i mean there were so many of those i'd like that what do you think it was i don't know i mean i think lot, it was probably a combination of things. I liked doing that for some reason. I think it bothered people. So it's just a bit to amuse yourself. That's one aspect. Definitely.

That amused me. It wasn't like I wanted to create a reputation of being difficult. No, and I kind of inherently knew that. I intuitively knew that. And I also never was angry at you about it or like, what the fuck, man? I thought that's fucking hilarious and I didn't judge you for it. Yeah, thank you. and you're not you know i didn't judge you for it yeah thank you the only the uh the only other thing that might that might have been a part of it and was not uncommon at that time was a lot of

comedians were eschewing is that the way yeah that's uh you know sitcom work or work in Hollywood because it was, you know, considered beneath as an artistic form. You know, like it was a day job kind of thing. Right. You don't want to be pigeonholed. Right, right. It was cheap. It was cheap, yeah. And there was a little bit.

And transactional. Yeah. So there was a little bit of maybe an anti-authoritarian bent to that. Sure. Which was not uncommon. Yeah. I definitely had it. You weren't the only one.

Wasn't the only one. Yeah. Like, we were surprised when David Cross left Cross Comedy to write for the Ben Stiller show, which was a great opportunity. I think there was even judgment there which had made no sense i know right it's like you're working you're working with extremely talented people like ben stiller and bob odenkirk and all these great and janine gruff all these people who were on that show and they're like oh this is what dave cross sold out people were would say that it's crazy and now i've i've you know over the years i've i can't believe that i'm able to do this yeah still based on that past attitude yeah and i've weathered through it somehow and now

of course i you know i earnestly love what i do yeah the nature of how I did enter, I did, I was, it was not aspirational to me to be in show business or even to be like a standup comic or even to be a, uh, on, if you're a sketch performer, I guess at that time, uh, Saturday Night Live,

right? Like get a spot on Saturday Night Live. I was never aspirational about that because I kind of entered into, uh, that whole thing kind of as a visitor I always considered myself well Sam wanted to do that I sort of glommed right to his uh to his dreams and aspirations and I was sort of it didn't really matter much to me then so I did have to catch up was there an aspect that you didn't deserve to do things alone I mean I'm just curious

like is that part of it you know since you if you say that you were't deserve to do things alone? I mean, I'm just curious. Like, is that part of it, you know? If you say that you were sort of like alone as a passenger, like when do you start feeling like you were the drive in the vehicle? Well, I kept getting asked to do stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I think people would seek me out. Yeah, because you're good.

Well, I did have a, I had a facility for it. Yeah. And I think part of that facility came from being kind of a, you know, like eternally skeptic a little bit. And that was helpful. Yeah. And that sort of, that, you know, as much as the joke of not taking work was like kind of, it did help me, you know. Yeah. Kind of grounded it.

I didn't get, I didn't jump in too fast into things yeah um and then i was able to kind of like meet my career a little later down the line it was i guess of some version of learning on the job you also too uh always seem to have fun doing it that was the other thing that i always liked. Like, even as you were, like, being, like, sort of, like, being kind of an asshole about show business, you know? And, like, show business going, hey, John, come work for us. And you're going, like I said, eh. Like, that's, there's something so funny about that.

And you loved doing it. You were, like. I did. Conan was very formative for me for doing that show yeah because i remember i never wanted to do the lines that were written you know i always like trying or i always wanted to like add that i don't like max weinberg or something or any chance like god and i think it would it would amuse you were in the you were in the right place to be in that kind of like because conan if you like conan fucking loves that when somebody i

mean you know if you can he doesn't want every extra like change in the lines but like if you're funny and you're and you want to be a pill about something you're in the right place you know yes and that that i think was helpful too and that was all that also came from like the idea of let's say it's not a disrespect of the what no the process but it did become kind of like material to my particular process of absolutely yeah absolutely yeah but also i did think that you do you i've i definitely auditioned for a sitcom you did i think you got me an audition like where i you know i auditioned for you and the producers i didn't get the part so i did leave my apartment for you once yeah and you've actually we've actually hung out you like i've left just for personal things not even when

there was money involved. Right. You mean like going to dinner with you? Yeah, like going to dinner or playing golf or staking out a crack house when we were cops. I don't know if you remember this story, but I will always remember this story about a time when you were in L.A. doing meetings and the time when you suggested the seduction of Joe Tynan. Oh, yes, I think I do. Do you remember that? Vaguely remember that. I remember. that vaguely remember that i remember you were here and you were promoting i think it was something

about like you had an old man neighbor who had a lobster claw hand or something like that wait that or there was something and or it was i think the real idea was you and an old man that played squash together yes i wrote that script that was the first thing that was actually the first thing i did on my own. Yeah, probably. But people were asking you about other things, and you were in a meeting. I don't recall all of it. You told me that you went to this meeting

and that you're waiting outside, and it's just some development person. I do vaguely remember this, yes. And the guy in the front office, you're sitting there waiting, waiting, and you see on the shelf like something. A DVD of The Seduction of Joe Tynan, which is an Alan Alda law drama. Yes.

Or politics. I don't remember what. Yeah, I think it was. And you said to the guy like, hey, what is that? And he said, oh, she's nuts about that movie and then you went in and you pitched other things and this person went like so tell me what else you've got and you said well you don't want to hear it so this person says no no tell me what your what your dream project is what you want to do and you're like well you probably won't even

know what i'm talking about but there was an Alan Alda movie called The Seduction of Joe Tynan, and it has been my dream to make a television show based on it. Yes. And this person went fucking bananas. I know. Like, got super excited and was like,

we're going to make this happen. And you were just fucking around. Yes. So low-key hostile, but so fantastic. Never got made, though. They never made it. Right. You throw things at the wall, you see what sticks.

Pitched her her dream project. She had no authority to make it. I would have been in the remake of, or the TV version of the... Seduction of Joe Tymon. I know there was another story that I pitched. I believe MASH, I must have been on an Alan Alda kick, because I know in a general meeting, I pitched MASH 2000. I remember I did that.

And the person was completely befuddled, because she was like, well, there's no Korean War anymore. What does that matter? And I was like, well, they some stayed in the MASH unit. Intense. All these years. And Alan Alda would be in it

and call from Maine, you know, where he lived. I don't get it. I don't get it I don't get it yeah that that that was yeah thank you for reminding me I totally forgot that that was the movie the seduction yeah the seduction of Joe Tynan yes I mean I get it yeah well you know I gotta wind this up eventually I don't want to keep you all day but um i do want to ask you because when i was looking at the research that was done this like like just how long bob's burgers and and uh archer have been on and like what a what a slog no not what a slog like what you know what a great life that must be like to be able to be part of two hilarious hits

that you can be proud of you know and and like it must be really easy too because it's just your voice so yeah you know you don't have a lot of extra bullshit to deal with yeah and these shows now are so far advanced or in in the way they're produced right from what i used to do i mean i've done you know even with lauren bouchard three or four animated shows and those were a lot more harder to do such a smaller leaner group of people there was less writers uh lots of improvisation a lot of a lot more work for me than there yeah than there is now than there is now and now it is really just like a comfortable job both of them and the shows really just sort of operate so efficiently yeah it's really good and they're ongoing yeah and i still enjoy doing them both yeah yeah the the bob's burgers people i don't know the archer people i mean i'm you know a couple people that work on it but the bob's burgers people are just it's one of the like

i'm just so envious because of what a wonderful workplace it is and having had an opportunity to record a couple of parts or the same part a couple of times. It's the best recording sessions I've ever worked at. Oh, that's hands down. Yeah. Hands down.

And just, I don't know. It's just, it's such a great show. It's got so much. And I, you know, fuck this word,

but heart, you know, it's like, it's true. I, I'm always fuck this word but heart you know it's like that's true i i'm always feel like i care more about the simpsons and uh you know bob's family than real people on tv like the actual human actors on tv like i care more about bob and his family than yeah i don't know anybody on on any you know network drama or whatever what what do you watch just uh i just watch uh miami vice the same episode over and over and over yes but you it's the people learn to love them sunny one where there's a crook that's uh

that's in a in an indycar race and the last 10 minutes of the show is just IndyCar footage. And then it leaves the track and drives around the street, and they have a high-speed chase. Crockett and Tubbs chase down an IndyCar on the streets of Miami. I mean, that's funny you bring that up, because if you go back and watch dramas or shows from the 70s and 80s, there were like clearly like 12 to 15 minutes of filler. Oh, like they did not have they did not have the script. Unbelievably slow.

I remember that from I recently just happened to come across a Columbo and they for some reason he was at a table, uh, uh, questioning, uh, this couple and he was like, would you excuse me for a minute? And he walks over and paces back and forth, like thinking and mumbling for like, like two and a half minutes. The camera stayed on him, uncut one shot and then back to the table. I was like, you can't, you can't do that no you can't just watching colombo pace for two i know i know for three and a half minutes what happened maybe we had more time we didn't have the pages just go pace

it could just spread a little do you ever want to get your face out there more i mean i know you you do different sort of, you know, you were doing some jazz there for a while and did some shows with that. But I mean, does being such a known voiceover person and having so much of what's out there of you now being voiceover, do you get like where you want to get in front of a camera at all? Yeah, a little bit uh it it's getting harder and harder to probably catch up to that as well i've had probably a lot of opportunities to do sitcoms

back in the day and i never did them and again it's very comfortable to do the shows i'm doing now but i'm always like i you know always i don't audition very much for live action stuff. Yeah. And then maybe the pandemic hit, and I certainly didn't do anything during that time. Right. So it's just like I'm probably resolved to that there's less and less opportunity for, you know, someone like me at this point.

You never know. But honestly, if a project that I was interested in came along, I would probably turn it down. That's going to be on deadline. No, I would do it. I would do that. Did the pandemic make you antsy? Did it make you kind of –

Yeah. You know, like did the pandemic make you be like, you know what what i really do want to go out and get other jobs no because i'm sick of being home it was more the opposite it was more the opposite yeah wow yeah and uh yeah i became very isolated and right and kind of enjoyed it right which uh my psychiatrist is worried about well i didn't want to say anything because and i know people can't see this because this is all audio but your fingernails are like eight inches long and yellowed they're like i know and you're it looks like you haven't cut your hair your beard in in months no but i i frequently speak to my door dash uh dasher door dash therapist my door dasher when man even though the smell is overwhelming through the crack of the door

he he or she you know i'm very have been very nice, it's just out of concern, out of just human concern for this poor thing. Yeah, and then occasionally an NYPD officer will come and do a house check. People think there's 100 dead cats in there. Oh, no, no, it's just me. So what are you looking forward to? I mean, you know, any big plans in your future well from that i feel like oh my god that's yeah i feel like i'm on my way toward that so

i'm looking forward to all right a life of complete i'm honestly like uh it's been a pretty heady year. My kid went off to college. Oh, my goodness. I knew that. That came at the end of the pandemic. Yeah. So that's a weird time. Like you said, this career, sort of my career is continuing. He's close, though, isn't he?

Isn't he on the East Coast? Yeah, he's upstate. He's maybe like four hours from here yeah but he doesn't come around much anymore why would he no i don't he was around for the summer um uh off and on so like i kind of adjusting to all that that's a big change you have kids of that age yeah yeah yeah yeah but i had one kid and so i don't know if it's like more or less intense but i didn't think that loss would be as affecting as it was like like where you stop right it's a loss it's like a i don't i don't have this person to take care of anymore i think it's i think

it is like it is different with more kids because it's not every it's the last one and if you only got one they're the first and the last one yeah because it is a difference if they're still like oh one of them went away but there's still a kid here right because you have a kid who's off to college or something and yeah and he's still local he's lives in L.A., but I'll go a week and a half without seeing him because he's 21 and he's got a life. And I also get like, what do I have to offer? I mean, aside from love and fatherliness and whatever, but it's like, what do I really have to offer a 21 year old kid

that's in that's like an art school right like you know come hang out with me and watch a dodger game and eat you know eat the japanese curry i made i mean he might i might bring him for the curry but the it's true my son is like unapologetically like i don't want to hang out like i don't have any interest in and what you care about one one basketball game come on but right you can sit no no yeah no i'm gonna i'm gonna hang out with my friends yeah and i and in one sense i wouldn't want it any other way but i am kind of been feeling like with my son because my daughter's a junior in high school but with my son definitely feeling like oh so that's it huh you're just gonna yeah you just take off grow up and go live a life

like an adult huh okay yeah i do think there's like not not even a joke there's a tinge of resentment that people feel in that moment yeah like you're like what the fuck yeah just when i was getting just when i was getting comfortable with this hung out with you when you like 7 to 15 right you were not great to hang out with yeah like when you were three you were fucking boring yeah boring yeah if you show me another tikt TikTok video that I could care less about, I have to pretend that I enjoyed it. I did that for years. My son used to sit and make me watch him go through his Roblox, like, you know, what's Minecraft? He'd like build it like a world in Minecraft and be like, come look at my Minecraft and be like,

here's my garden. And then here's where the sheep graze. And you know, a minute of that is okay, but we're going on like minute eight or nine. And I'm like, honey, come on. Although the flip side of that is,

I think there were like long periods of time where I would watch him play the game Fortnite. And I think I just did. I enjoyed it. I'd sit in a chair and pour myself a beer and watch it. Watch a 14 year old play a game for an hour. Like I felt like that I'm connecting to, you know,

myself when I was nine at the pizza parlor, watching some kid play Defender. But you don't have the stress. And you can watch someone who's like, because I used to watch my son play Mario Kart because he was really good. And then he would play against people on the internet and just crush them. And it was like watching my son at a football game or something. Like, look at my boy kicking ass all over the world.

But there's no one. Fuck that French guy. No one there. No one in the stands. It's just you will love. No, no, it's just me. Look at my boy. Ah, my boy.

You can really, really make Princess Peach kick ass. That's funny. The final question here, it's the what have you learned? It's the philosophical stuff. Oh, I didn't know that was coming up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What have I learned? I told your publicist, and she said, like, do not let him know that.

I do not. He does not like to self-examine. That was not my publicist. I don't have one. So whoever you spoke to was she is pretending to be wow yeah it was i thought it was weird that she knocked on my front door too not usually the way publicists get to me no i do send a fake publicist to people's homes well i guess uh in in uh i don't know like, I guess, touching on what we've talked about in the last, whatever, you know, in my life, I feel like I've been, you know, I've learned to be a more patient person over, and I've learned to appreciate what I have a lot more.

And that took me a long time. I think I was definitely, I was always uncomfortable with that kind of, with that. So I don't know if that's a general philosophy, but. Well, I mean, I guess I would just, I wonder a little further, like what you would say to an impatient person, like, what the benefits of patience are? Like, if, you know, because, I mean, there's the, there's like, okay, yeah, it's, you know, you're not as stressed out. But, I mean, is it bigger than that?

Well, I mean, I think, like, mainly everybody would probably be, especially, like, in what we do, right? especially like in what we do, right? Like there is a sort of general, there's a constant stress about whether or not to succeed. It's very binary, right? There's a big, maybe more so. You're a winner or a loser. Yeah, succeed or fail.

And I think there's like less concentration on the middle ground of that. And yeah, there might be failure obviously involved if we take show business as an example. You know, I did spend a lot of years sort of like not paying attention to that. And I think that did, that helped me. I wasn't so focused on just the success and now kind of have been more settled in appreciating the moments yeah more more but I am somewhat successful so it comes it comes from from the wrong from the wrong person. Right, right.

It's hard to be the messenger. Yeah, you can't be. You're not interviewing the guy who's like, well, I've spent the whole life basically failing at what I did. And I've really learned to appreciate that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I get it, but it's, you you know it's still it's it's you know what are you gonna do you know i mean it's still nice to tell people like

even with you know because i mean your life has had ups and downs and sure it's easy for a successful person to go like just be patient but even i think even if you, you know, I mean, I can speak for myself because I've been more, I've been more successful and less successful. And I still, at the end, even if like everything goes to shit, I still would say,

be patient, you know, because it's not going to change anything other than making your experience less awful, you know? Right. Yeah. I think that in particular with whether they be small failures or larger failures, those take their toll on anybody. And it's not easy to just tell someone to be patient about that.

Right. But I do think that would be the general philosophy that I've learned over time. It's like, let that sit. Yeah. Well, John, thank you so much. I mean, this has been one of those ones truly that I was just, I don't care about a podcast. I just got to talk to you for an hour. That was like when I saw you and i don't get to see you

enough anymore uh which is too bad and yeah though i remember telling amy that after we left i was like it's like always so nice to see andy and i well i love you so much and and i love spending time with you so we'll just have to fix that that. But it's like I texted you this morning. I never get, you know, I don't hang out with. It's so sad. It's like it's so old and crotchety. I mean, I have people in my life, but it's like the same four or five people over and over and over. And then the notion of like, why not go out and make some new friends?

It's like, oh, my God. Oh am i gonna nap if i'm out making friends i mean we talked a lot about sam he lives across the street i see him you know he just like comes over like like he's like lives here you know like does he have a key he doesn't have a key yet i mean we haven't taken that step but yeah yeah but everybody else i know like they're everyone's gone yeah i did i do feel like i'm not 90 did everyone die this is what i feel like i just live alone now and i'm the last one yeah my friend leo allen you know him sure he's moving out to la oh is he so i i'm i'm right with you i've seen less less and less people and um so yeah we should like we should move into the same apartment building absolutely i'm gonna i'm thinking of starting an artist

colony you know somewhere like in south dakota or somewhere right well john john benjamin h john benjamin if you will uh thank you so much i know people will be happy to hear this i mean i mean they'll they'll initially be happy and then maybe it'll be tempered just by the reality of the conversation that's true yeah um but i was very i'm very grateful that you came on. If you made it this far, shut it off 45 minutes ago. Hang on, there's coupon codes at the end. But, John, thank you for doing this, and thank all of you out there for listening,

and I'll be back next week with more of this same shit. The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco production. It is produced by Sean Doherty and engineered by Rob Schulte. Additional engineering support by Eduardo Perez and Joanna Samuel. Executive produced by Joanna Salitaroff, Adam Sachs, and Jeff Ross. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Maddie Ogden. Research by Alyssa Grahl. Don't forget to rate and review and subscribe

to The Three Questions with Andy Richter wherever you get your podcasts. Can't you tell my love's a-growing? Can't you feel it ain't a-showing? Oh, you must be a-knowing. I've got a big, big love. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.