The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Ione Skye

Episode Date: March 4, 2025

Actress Ione Skye joins Andy Richter to discuss her unconventional path to acting, what it means to be an "it girl," auditioning for the movie "Say Anything," her relationship with Anthony Kiedis, her new book "Say Everything: A Memoir," and much more.Do you want to talk to Andy live on SiriusXM’s Conan O’Brien Radio? Leave a voicemail at 855-266-2604 or fill out our Google Form at BIT.LY/CALLANDYRICHTER. Listen to "The Andy Richter Call-In Show" every Wednesday at 1pm Pacific on SiriusXM's Conan O'Brien Channel.

Hello everybody, welcome back to The Three Questions. I'm your host Andy Richter, and today I'm talking to actress Ione Sky. You know her from Say Anything, Wayne's World, Gas Food Lodging, XOXO, and much more. Her book, Say Everything, is out today. I read it and it's really fun and really great. You can also subscribe to her sub-stack newsletter, Weirder Together with Ben Lee and Ione Sky. Here's my conversation with Ione Sky. Hi, Ione.

How are you? I'm very well. How are you? Good. Good to see you. I'm good. I'm good. You are putting it all. I'm good. I'm good.

Good. You are putting it all out there. Yes. You've got a book which I read and it's really a fun read. It's really good. Thank you. Sometimes it's hard because when I'm reading about your youth, and then I look at the pictures that

coincide with the times of these things that you're telling me. I'm like, oh my God, she was a tiny baby and living this LA life, you know? And you're looking at it with an adult's sort of more measured eye, but at the time I just, you know, the Midwestern dad in me is just like, get out of there, honey. Yeah, exactly. There's a few years where I wish I had been 10 to 15 years older, because I really loved some of the people I was hanging out with.

For example, like the chili peppers. I'm glad that I know them and knew them, but I wish I had met them maybe in my 20s. When you could handle it. Exactly. Yes. I know I had met them maybe in my 20s. When you could handle it. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Yes, I know I tremble, especially with having a 15-year-old.

And I think that's just too much for this little person. Yeah, well, you touch on that in the book too about, towards the end you say that, you know, because you and Anthony Keatus were how many years apart? I think it's eight. Eight, and you were like 16 or something? Yeah, 16, 17. And she's like, that's just wrong.

Yes. And you say to her, well, that was a different time. And I kind of like, well, yeah, you know, like you hear stories about, what's his name? Steven Tyler having parents. Do you know this story? I probably do. He was taking a teenager on tour with him. This girl was his girlfriend. Tyler having parents, do you know this story? I probably have.

He was taking a teenager on tour with him. This girl was his girlfriend. He had her parents sign over custody. Oh man. So like he was her legal guardian so she could take, go on tour with him. And it's just like mind blowing. Somehow we didn't have to sign anything.

I know. You know, it's just mind blowing. It's wild. I mean, when I say it was a different time, it's just that that was sort of happening around us. Now we really look at that. Absolutely. So, not to say that that meant it was okay.

It was just that it was sort of all around us like that. So it didn't seem... I mean, in a way, it was okay. Everything's okay or not okay within the context of its time. So it is kind of like, it's hard, because I have a 24-year-old and a 19-year-old, and there's a lot of that stuff where they just,

they'll hear about somebody dating, like a man dating a young woman, and I'm like, nah, I mean. I know, they're very, like, they're really alarmed by all of that stuff. And it takes me a second to try to see it through their eyes. Right, right.

Now, you're from, I mean, you grew up, like, five minutes from here. We're in Hollywood. And does this still, like, when you're here, does it still feel like home? It does. It's eventually, yeah, it really does. Some of the streets feel the same. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, it's funny that in some ways you try to separate what feels the same and what doesn't. And I find it kind of hard when I see landmarks that are the same and all the trees and things look the same in the houses. So it's kind of hard to think how is it different. It was dangerous back then but just in a different way. Right.

You know the way that maybe Times Square was dangerous but in a fun gritty way or something. Right, right. Well also too I think it's the eyes of youth. You know like danger is not like you know grown up danger is a lot more serious than kid danger. Yeah, and I grew up, it just felt very, I don't know, very 70s. And I grew up near here, but the streets above a street called Franklin, if you don't know, all of a sudden become more kind of residential. So I had the same, we all knew our mailman and when he retired, we had a block party for him, for example, and we played ball on the street

because I had a sort of street that, you know, bumped up against the foothills. So in some aspects, it felt like Anywhere USA, especially because they would film TV movies and stuff on our street because it looked like, but in other, you cross Franklin and you are in Hollywood, like, you know, sort of rough Hollywood. So I had a kind of both, experience of both.

How did your mom, I mean, how did your mom set boundaries for you? Or was she just kind of loosey goosey and let you figure it out? She was really good, especially for back then about talking to us about things. Like if you're going to try pot, don't drive. She was very, you know, she had a kind of cautious,

and she talked to us about all the things that you want your kids to know about. She was pretty good at that, which was great. The dialogue about, I mean, not to be heavy, but when AIDS happened, she sat me down, and I was too young, but to be sexual, yeah, but she was like, have you heard of, you know, she was very protective in that way, but not authoritative.

And so I do feel for her, cause I'm a similar mother and I don't have authority. Like I can never, if I'm having kids parties when they were little, calling everyone in for a cake, they would never listen to me. So I would say to my husband, Ben, can you call them in? And he would say, come in, cake, and everyone runs it. So I don't have an authority to-

Why do you think that is? My nature and I sure lack of confidence or something, but I'm still, I'm 54, I'm still working on that. But yeah, I don't know. I think I'm just like an ethereal, my nature is very ethereal and on that. But yeah, I don't know. I think I'm just like an ethereal, my nature is very ethereal like that. I find too, because I'm 57 and I, well first of all, I like to say, you know, it takes about 50 years to get the hang of this, you know. I agree. But the other thing is,

is sometimes with kids, and I have older kids and I have a five-year-old now, and sometimes I feel like, well, who am I to say? You know, like there's just times where there's things where I just feel like, how can I get heavy on them when A, they might not agree with, you know, if I'm like, you should do this, you know, like make this life choice. I don't know, you know, I mean was like, you should do this, you know, like make this life choice. I don't know, you know, I mean, there's a lot of stuff. And that's, that's my biggest sort of

question about my own. I mean, I know I'm a good dad, but there is like, I don't know if I was put the hammer down enough. Yeah, I think though, with the big big things looking at how I parent, I think somehow I do or the things I really care about like them eating and going to bed early for some reason. I guess the biological thing of my children must be healthy. I always was making sure they had enough to eat. Like my husband, I would say, well, did you feed, for example, Goldie or younger one? Oh, yeah, she had an orange and a couple potato chips. That's not a lunch.

That's not a, she'll just eat a lunch, you know. Whatever it is. I'm on Ben's side in that one. Yeah, and I'm sure it's fine. I'm like, look, an apple and a spoonful of peanut butter and some gummy bears, sure, whatever. I mean, I'm sure it's fine. And I'm not a health nut.

I'm just more like, more food, more food in them. But those kinds of things. But there's so many things that I just think, how do I, what script do I need to get across what I need to get them to do? Yeah. Do you think that part of that absence of like having that hard edge

is not having a father for so long or just having, you know, rotating stepfathers? Do you think that that's kind of like, do you think that's what male energy brings to a person? For sure. And it's easier to look at my brother, my, he's three years older. It's sort of easier to feel sorry and to see the effects on someone that's not you.

But when I think of my brother not having a dad, I can feel more, I just feel so sad. Just the simple things, like not throwing a baseball or whatever you think a dad, I can feel more, I just feel so sad. Just the simple things like not throwing a baseball or whatever you think a dad does because you think that they're all like TV dads. But for sure it affected my confidence and my search for love in such an aggressive way. Yeah.

Now your dad, the hippie star, Donovan, the sunshine Superman. your dad, the hippie star, Donovan, the sunshine Superman. Now, I mean, because you, you know, like when I first became aware of you, when I, you know, when River's Edge, it was like, oh, it's Donovan's daughter. And I did not know until adulthood that I might as, you know, you might as well have been, you know,

Robert Kennedy's daughter in terms of like what he presented in your life. And how has that been to be like, oh, because you are sort of, you know, people do think of you as that. I'm also too, it is true. You look so much like him. Does it annoyed you? Has it been sort of like a grievance? Like, fuck that guy, you know? For sure. I did the full letter, like, how could you do this? And I did that at one point. And very, as a teen, starting to really listen to his music, the sort of romantic songs, like Catch the Wind,

and just hearing this beautiful longing for somebody and thoughts of somebody and thinking, well, where am I in this? You didn't have any of that for me. But throughout the years, we've had this tenderness despite our history. Oh, really? Yeah, and I might see him in the spring,

he lives in Ireland. And it's always such a trip seeing him because he's such a character and I'm just still getting to know him. Yeah, he does talk like a Tolkien character. Like a Tolkien character. And then there's comedy. There's such comic, thank God there's comic relief in he and his wife, because they speak like they're just right from...

And he speaks in riddles and... I don't know, he's such a character. Does he know he's funny? I don't know. He's such a character. Does he know he's funny? I don't know. I'm very curious about that. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

He is one of those people that is just funny, but I don't think he knows how funny he is. Yeah. When you, cause I'm speaking for myself, cause I grew, and also because I know that at least my mother doesn't listen to this podcast anymore because she says, I don't like it when you talk about family. But there were boundary issues when I was young. There was just like you, there's a moment in the book where your mom got a letter from a lawyer, Donovan wanting a paternity test. And this is, you were a high schooler or something.

16 or 17. Yeah. And that was my first thought was, why the hell would she even tell you that? And there's so many things that I've thought back on from my childhood that I think, why did they, why was I aware of that? Why wasn't I protected from these very big adult things?

And did having kids make you realize like, oh shit, there was so much that went on that I shouldn't have known about? Yeah, I think that is a factor. And also, I'm just my, I don't wanna say emotional intelligence because my mother's very emotionally intelligent, but I think our generations are a little different

because I know not to put things on my kids that were put on me, maybe it's generational thing. All the parenting books, I don't know, they had Dr. Spock, I don't know if they had Dr. Spock talk about that, but actually looking at Dr. Spock is pretty good still. But yes, I tried to bring that up a few times thinking it might land, but she still is in the emotion of I think pride of just we have to prove this.

And she still doesn't really see that that was for her and not for me and wasn't there enough I had to go through. Right. Like even when my brother saw him at a concert when we were kids and I chose not to go and then my father thought my brother's friend was me and these things were so confusing. But I think she just gets stuck in the emotion of it still. Yeah. Now, Donovan left your mom,

were you still in utero? Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah. They lived together, my brother was three and a half, and I think things were really getting rocky, but they were together in Scotland and England. And then when it was rocky, she got pregnant with me,

and they were breaking up, and he said, have the baby, I'll support you, I'll be your friend. And he did support us financially, but then she decided to move back to America because he was remarried, having new children. So I never met him at all in person until I was 17. Because she came back to the States. met him at all in person until I was 17. Cause she went, came back to the States.

And your mom didn't feel, was she too hurt to like insist on such a thing? Well, what's interesting is that's his side of the story, but she wanted it and she was hurt. But when I asked him, he said, your mother was so angry and then I just thought, okay, but still you have children. Yes. I'm sure you, even if, okay, but still, you have children. Yes. I'm sure you, even if you had an angry ex,

you would say, okay, we're angry, but I'm gonna see my children. Yes, she's not the mafia. She's not the mafia and she's not, you believe me. Angry, shmangry. Yeah, no, she's not at all, she's amazing. She's sweet, but she more, her side of the story, she was just very hurt.

But in any case, it was a different time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Can't you tell my love's a grown up. Does she still live here? Is she still here? She does. She loves LA.

She's a New Yorker, but when she came in the sunshine over here, she just never wanted to leave. Yeah. And she brought you into a very cool milieu. Like you went from Scotland and Ireland with Donovan to then back here in Topanga and then just constantly being surrounded by, I mean, just name some of the,

yeah, well, it just so happens, yes, her best friend had a kid with Michael Nesmith from The Monkees and then Caris Jagger, Mick Jagger's firstborn, Amelia Fleetwood, Mick Fleetwood's kid, even Tatiana Von Furstenberg, like Diane Von Furstenberg's daughter, but just all these children of, but the nice thing was some of them had sort of similar situations where they had these famous parents from that 60s generation who were sort of in and out.

But their parents were a little more in the picture, their fathers. And then just, yeah, River Phoenix and, you know, when I met the Zappas, Molly Ringwald would be around. And back then, Dweezil, Zappa and Moon would see a movie. Dweezil would say that, Winona Ryder's adorable. His agent would call her agent because it was the Zappa's house. It sounds douchey, but I was like, great, I'm coming over. Cause anytime I'd come in that house,

there'd be some cool person that I admired. And it was, in a sense, an innocent time in a weird way. And we were just running around. And you could go to a weird party and open a door and see someone making out, and there's no phones. So it was just like, and at that point, everything was sort of innocent and just creative, wild children together. So it was sort of innocent and just creative, wild children together.

So it was kind of a special time. Do you think, I mean, because it is interesting that there's so many kids of famous kids that are in your circles, and then so many soon-to-be famous kids. Like, were there other teenagers in your neighborhood that were as connected to this, or was there just something sort of innate

that brought you all together? I think some of it was our parents kind of knowing each other. And some of it was my brother, the great connector. My older brother would just, you know, he was like a little producer. He just was like, I happen to be born in Hollywood and I'm going to figure this out. So he just managed

to figure things out. And you do end up, I guess, well, maybe I'm unusual running in circles like this. But also our friends from high school, it was sort of like a posse. We had our core group and it was a lot of people that we knew from childhood. And then these people we would start working with and, know the children of a lot of single moms though so they had that in common yeah you know Marcia Hunt who had a kid with Mick Jagger and things like that so it was a mash-up of just being in Hollywood and my mom being kind of in that scene. Was there kind of a general absence of constant male figures? Yeah. I mean, in the whole, it sounds like kind of the whole group. Yeah, yeah, it's true.

I would say, I would say for sure, even Frank Zappa was sort of nocturnal, nocturnal. And so if you would go over there and he'd be around, one time we saw aliens and he came along. And at one point, I think Moon Zappa said to me, this is, do you realize this is very unique to go have, to have an outing with Frank? So that, that's absent in its own way.

Yeah. Do you, because I, you know, I hear about this and I'm like, who the fuck do these guys think they are? Do you know what I mean? It's like, and that's just, again, that's a, it's a different time. It's also like, I was raised by women, so I tend to think like, no, you gotta do dishes. You gotta change diapers. Like that's, it's just part of the deal.

And do you end up like feeling like, what the fuck guys, come on. You know, help out. I know, and my brother is the best father. He's absolutely, he hasn't become like that kind of father. So yeah, it is fascinating what makes them feel they can do that. I mean, I guess there's the Peter Pan thing

with especially the musicians from the sixties maybe. But they also too, I think a lot of it is the context of being around people that never say no to you and you get used to that. And then you don't have like proper human boundaries cause it's like, okay, you're Frank Zappa and you love to work and you're in your work, but it's like, but come on, come down to Earth.

Like, cause it's very convenient too. It's very convenient to say, I'm an artist, I'm temperamental. I'm doing something important. Yeah, and if you bother me, I might punish you by being mad at you. It's just like, get it off me. Yeah.

You know, it's annoying to me. I know, I know. Yeah. And now I'm with the best father in the world. I mean, probably with you, along with you. And he. Yes, exactly. with you, along with you. And he- Yes, exactly, thank you.

But it's very healing for lack of another word for me to see such a fabulous father. And it's really nice. I love it. And it's kind of, I don't know, it's doing something good for me to see like a really, you know, involved dad. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Well, like I said, you know, it takes decades to figure it out. You get to like, oh yeah, I should be with somebody nice. That's always the amazing thing. Oh, I got there. So much of your book I'm reading and it is just like, yeah, it is so weird the way people are built where it's like, hey, that person doesn't give a shit about me.

I'm devoted to you. Like it's just crazy. I don't understand. I know. And it works both ways in many, you know, in, you know, I mean, in terms of gender and across gender and... Yeah. ...intra-gender. Yeah. Yeah.

My first husband was a great husband, but I was 21 years old, so I was doing that a little too soon. But he's very sweet. Yeah. But yes, I definitely, then after that, it went crazy again. Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, but you know, it's like in the book you say,

you had, you were a kid, then a career, then married, and then like, oh, I should party. Yeah, I know, I didn't do it. You got it all out of order. When I was in college age, so I just did it a little later. Yeah. You know, it does kind of seem like all of a sudden you were in a movie, but you were kind of doing something.

She would take, you know, you were posing for, your mom had a lot of photographer friends and stuff. Was that a conscious thing or was that just, like, was it in your mom's head and your head, like, I want to get out there and be involved in being modeling or fashion or something? Or was it just because it was there and your friend said, hey, can I take a picture of your kid?

Yeah, my mom is not at all a stage mom type, but just having all those creative people around, all the photographers around. I did once do an audition when I was a kid, just being in Hollywood, just someone said, oh, they're doing the Thorn Birds mini series. So I auditioned for the Thorn Birds. And I was just creative.

I loved movies when I was a kid, but I never thought, I was just so shy, I never thought I would do it. But yeah, it was sort of just being in Hollywood, but my mother was not a stage mother, so, but I think I got a taste for it. I was on the cover of an album at one point, and I just, I loved getting to go out of school and then having my picture taken,

for better or worse, having that happen to me. For worse, I just mean it probably made me think, oh, I don't, I can get out of school at some point. Right. But, but anyway, that I think being exposed in that way, even though it wasn't my mom pushing it, I think I started liking that. Yeah.

And, and talk a little bit about how that first big movie role, River's Edge, I mean, you weren't really auditioning or anything? Talk about how that happened. It's kind of an amazing story. And probably so many people read, especially people aspiring actors are reading that story, like, what the fuck? Come on.

I know. Well, my brother was reading for it, and he, I think... For the Crispin Glover part, was that it? I think Crispin, yeah, I think... For the Crispin Glover part, was that it? I think Crispin, yeah, I believe it probably was Crispin Glover part. He being such a, he's just such a hustler. We were in LA Weekly just in this sort of thing our friends shot.

We weren't formal models like with modeling agent, but we just did it. And I think he brought it in and I'm in the same magazine spread with him, paper magazine. So I think Cary Fra in. And I'm in the same magazine spread with him, paper magazine. So I think Carrie Frazier, the casting director, saw me and said, and who's that? And my brother said, that's my sister.

And I think she said, would she want to come in? She looks fabulous or whatever. And he literally came home and said, hey, there's an audition that I got you basically. So it was through that, which is so kind of crazy. And I didn't, I was so scared, but I read the scenes and they were kind of cool. And then when I heard it, the director wrote over the edge

and I thought, that's cool. So I made myself do it. And then when I got a call back, I almost didn't go because I was so scared. But then it was something about my brother saying, they're looking all over the place, everyone wants to be in this movie because a teen movie, like the outsiders,

anytime there was like a big ensemble, all the teen actors. And there were tons of those at the time. That was like a cottage industry within Hollywood. Yeah, and that was always everybody so excited about those and trying to get in them. So yeah, I really probably fainted for the only time in my life when I heard the call,

when I got the call. And then I was terrified. How old were you? 15? 15, and I was then, oh no, I have to do this. But I really wanted to take that adventure. And when you started working, you know, because that movie happened, and there was, you know, you just started working.

And was there, like, was, did you worry about technique? Did you worry about, like, oh shit, you know? Because I know the first jobs I got, I, the imposter syndrome is heavy when you step on a movie set from doing, you know, and I had been doing, you know, improv shows and stuff, but still it's like, oh shit. Yeah. I got, I don't know if I know how to do this. Yeah. I mean, the only good thing being a teen is the line, you learn the lines in one second because your brain is so, that was good. Yeah.

I wish I had that now. Yes, absolutely. I was really afraid and I rushed my lines and I was too quiet, but thankfully it was a movie that was all supposed to be very natural, very realistic, and I could do that. So I felt good about that, but I was, you know, the sound guy was always like, speak up, speak up.

Yeah, yeah. But apart from that kind of thing, I was just going with it. And then I started loving, I did start loving it in a weird way, that push pull with, I absolutely hate this. And I kind of hope my scenes are cut or some of the lines are cut even,

but also I started really loving it. Yeah. Yeah. And this is about the time that you started dating Anthony Kiedis. Yeah, a little bit after, but yes. And, uh, yeah. But at any rate, you were 16. And was there worry, like, oh no, she's with a musician.

You know, did it seem like, you know, oh no, like to your mom, like, I was a beautiful girl who got, you know, sort of in with musicians and then that beauty become, your beauty and your youth becomes, you know, your entree to these kind of lofty worlds. Yeah. Did she say, take it easy? Yeah, she and my brother were pretty sick over it,

but it was an interesting thing because Anthony's a very touching and loving person. So I think right away, especially for my mom being a woman, she probably felt a sort of maternal thing almost toward him in a weird way, but my brother and mother were kind of nauseous from the start over the whole thing. And he was rougher in a weird way, but my brother and mother were kind of nauseous from the start over the whole thing.

And he was rougher in a way. I mean, my mom, she dated, well, Jim Morrison. She dated Jim Morrison before he was into heroin. A drunk, yeah. Yeah, exactly. So he was sort of a sweet, hyper intelligent, and apparently annoying in a way kind of person. Oh, really? intelligent and apparently annoying in a way kind of person. Oh really? But her scene, I think it was like,

she wasn't in any kind of toxic-y, abusive-y things. So I don't know, this was heavy. And I think you can tell this was gonna be too much for me. But again, you know, a teenage girl, I can do what I want, I'm gonna do what I want kind of thing, even though I don't talk to my mother in that way, but she could tell I was gonna do what I want. I'm gonna do what I want kind of thing. Even though I don't talk to my mother in that way, but she could tell I was gonna do what I wanted. And I was working, so I had an extra, like, I'm working.

I thought I was older than I was. Yeah, yeah. Could, were they aware of his hair on you? Yeah, I think they were. I mean, yeah, I think they were. Yeah, she was, it was pretty bad. And I apologize later to her for worrying her. That was the, the but that was sort of the only time she was really worried for me. Yeah. And, and, and which is great. I got it out of the way. And I've

been an amazing daughter ever since. But I have, even Adam, I married very young, he was just the best. And my new husband, amazing. And I don't know, she's never, after that, she kind of thought, okay, you know, you know how, well, I don't know if you know, but you wait and see, okay, is this person all right? And then it, you know, it worked out.

Yeah, yeah. But yes, they couldn't really do much about it, but they were upset. ["Can't You Tell My Love's A Girl?" by The Bumblebee Boys plays.] Why do you think there's been so many musicians in your life? Is it so- Why? I don't know. You know? I mean- You can go like, well, my dad was one.

Right, that's the obvious. But Ben's not your dad. No. And Adam wasn, my dad was one. Right, that's the obvious. But Ben's not your dad. You know, and Adam wasn't your dad. No. One, well, I must, I think I might be a musician inside but I'm not playing any instruments. I do love musicians. I think it's a creative thing that's not an acting thing.

Whenever I've dated an actor, the minute I see him like learning lines in a script, I just think, ugh, boring, ugh. And I feel weirdly left out or competitive. I think I chose a creative person who, it's not my business exactly, but they know the business. And Ben is someone who was famous at a young age and then we've had to sort of keep our careers going

ever since. We have a lot in common, but we're not competitive in the same way. So I don't know if I was just extremely smart to do that. I also love writers. Like I seem to be drawn to not novelists, but anytime I'm on a TV show, I'm always hanging out with the writers.

But then they're like, get out of here. We wanna talk shit about the actors. And I'm like a TV show, I'm always hanging out with the writers. But then they're like, get out of here. We want to talk shit about the actors. And I'm like, oh, okay. Yeah, writers, especially that I've always found, especially when I came out here and started doing primetime comedies, it's very Revenge of the Nerds. Right. I love them.

They're like, we're taking the kids that made fun of us and we're putting words in their mouth and we're creating who they are. And we're saying, you have to say this, you know. Maybe I should stay away from them. No. They're still pretty fun. Yeah, I think it's the fun, the banter I'm into it.

It's the jokes, yeah. Well, as you're sort of like continuing in your career, well, I should start with, you know, then say it because were you always sure like, okay, I should start with, you know, then say it, because were you always sure like, okay, I'm just gonna be an actress? Did you think that far ahead when you were, you know, your first three or four things or? I thought I would be a one-hit wonder,

like the actor from Harold and Maude, who wasn't, but I thought, oh, okay, this might be it, but I really don't want it to just be it. Yeah, yeah. And then we, my it, but I really don't want it to just be it. And then we, my mother, who had no idea what to do, we started meeting agents in all weird buildings and then big ones that promised the world, and I just started that whole thing.

And then I got an agent and I started auditioning, which I hated until 10 years ago. Now I kind of don't mind them. But then we just started and I just went, kept going. But it's a very strange career. The whole mental, emotional thing throughout everybody's career, even people who you think are the most successful, you know, it's like,

that's always kind of an interesting thing to think about. Yeah, no, I remember a number of years ago, I saw Dustin Hoffman being interviewed. And he said that he still has the feeling when something wraps, well, that's it. Yeah. It's over. I'm not going to do this anymore. Which it seems like you can't really think that you're Dustin Hoffman, but I do think he probably thinks that. Because I feel like there's something,

what do I even do for a living? I know. You can't imagine what it will be until it comes a new job. So for people who should have a big imagination, I don't have the imagination of, oh, maybe it'll be a TV show or an independent film or maybe a part in a bigger film. But yeah, I just moved to Sydney because my husband's Australian and we were trying it out.

And I just got, I played Jack Black in this movie, Anaconda, and it just like was such a nice gift. I was just, you know, and cause I was there, it was easier. That I never could predict, and that was great because it came right before promoting the book, and it's so nice when people say, what have you been up to? And now I don't have to say, well, four years ago,

I did this thing. Anyway, but that, you can never imagine what's coming next. And yeah, that's stressful. Yeah. Oh, it's, yeah. My parents used to ask me like, well, when this next thing is over, when this thing you're doing now is over, then what? And I'd be like, I don't know. I know. And they would be like, what? How do you do that? Because now that we're parents, you know, I look at my kids and I think, yeah, well, you got to get this job thing in the lineup for you guys.

What are you guys going to do? I have a 24 year old that, you know, has an art degree from USC and he's, he's living with us and he's doing stuff. You know, he's working, doing different work kind of for like handyman work for galleries and different sort of art world stuff, but nothing set. Yeah. And, you know, and he doesn't have, like, the full bill load, you know, but...

But that's so great. I know, but there's part of me that I still am like, I think it's also too. Growing up in the Midwest, working, like, getting a paper route at age 13, I have a very much, like, more of a, no, you getting a paper route at age 13, I have a very much like more of a, no, you have to get into the work world and you have to learn early on that like,

there's lots of things you have to do that suck and that you hate, but you have to do them. And I do think that that's like a valuable lesson, but it's hard to put that on my kids and say like, you should go eat shit. Right. And get paid for it. Yeah, I know, especially when, I mean, for example, my husband and I were almost most successful

when we were teenagers. Yeah, yeah. So my, I have a 24 year old as well, and she felt I could see her feeling this pressure, she's 18, 19, and she's not, and I just said really that thing you say, whatever makes you happy. And I think being really excited about the things that they are doing, I feel like that

might help them feel okay about if they have little jobs or, you know, my older one's at Sydney University and she was going to work at a gelato store, something. I was like, that's fabulous. Like, you know, just sort of, I don't know. I don't know what tactic I'm going to take to get them into just the confidence work gives you and just the experience of just doing it. Just doing it. Yeah.

And there is, yeah. And there's even the dumbest job. There's some self-worth to it. Oh yeah. You know, there's, you do feel like, well, I'm performing a task and getting money. Yes. The most concrete display of your worth.

That just feels so good. Yeah. Now, Say Anything is the movie. And I think that that's probably, I don't know, it was, because again, in like looking at research and stuff, seeing you referred to as an it girl. Like have you, you're familiar that you've been called that, right?

And what is, how does even one, especially when you're young, being called an it girl, what the hell do you even do with that? I think one point I was when it was this posse of me, Sofia Coppola, Zoe Casabetti, my brother when he got into the model scene. I think that was the most it girl kind of phase where we were branded at one point.

I can't even remember. Was there like a name for your posse? I think we had a name, I'll try to remember. But yeah, It Girl feels funny because I wasn't like Chloe Savigne who has the fashion thing, I don't know. But I guess being married to a Beastie Boy at the time was pretty fab, I don't know what it means. But say anything was before Adam, wasn't it?

That was, yes, just as I was meeting him. And that't know what it means. But say anything was before Adam, wasn't it? Yes, just as I was meeting him. Or was it right, right, just as me. That's when they called me an it girl. You know, it's so, I didn't think of myself as an it girl. I don't know what I thought of myself back then. How do you like, I mean, how did you sort of compartmentalize yourself from that?

Because it is the kind of thing where when these things are projected on you, it can mess with your head. And, you know, maybe that again, is looking backwards and having an adult's view of things. But I mean, did you just sort of like, it was too much. So you just sort of rejected the notion of it? Yeah, probably. And it did help that I wasn't recognized and still it's just the perfect amount. I really enjoy, I can absolutely go anywhere,

and just the right amount of times I'm recognized. Not a lot. And it's usually nice. It's nice, always nice, and that's great, and I can just go anywhere and do what I want, and that really helps. And I don't know, I was a bit of a space cadet. And I remember a friend saying to me,

what do you do all day? And I was just, I was very floaty. And I think that that was maybe a defense against kind of seeing that I was having a career and doing all of these things. But yeah, I think it just, it did help that I didn't feel an immense pressure for some reason. Yeah Meeting well, let's we'll finish talking about

Say anything because that you kind of were Cameron Crowe found you and then sort of built the movie around you, correct? Well, he found me before he we got John Cusack. Yeah. And I suppose he made it a little more about me, but I don't know. I think he kind of had that character down, Pat, my character. But I was on the film before John Cusack.

Did you read for it or did he just hire you? Oh, yeah. No, I read, and I did the whole callbacks in James Brooks's bungalow. Oh, yeah. Literally, I read and I did the whole callbacks in James Brooks's bungalow. Literally Danny DeVito was sitting in there, I'm not kidding. And it was just, I was- To watch the callbacks? No, just in the like-

He just happened to be there. Front room. Yeah, yeah. And I was at both like in heaven because I love old Hollywood and I love being on the studio. Like I really would get into fantasy. Like I'm a contract player in the 40s

and look at this bungalow. Oh, also James Brooks. I mean, come on. I was just like, oh my God. So then, but I was also scared out of my mind. I had to do the first callback. I didn't do well, but Cameron really wanted me. And he, I think he called me and said,

you've gotta go for it more. And then I was really scared. But then I think I just left my body and went for it. For that one, were there a group of women that you were always going against? Like, was there this sort of gene pool that they were just sort of? Winona Ryder at one point,

a lot of people who are way more famous than me. Who else? Jennifer Connelly. Were they on this? Were they up for this? Possibly, possibly. I feel like I heard who almost got it and I probably blocked that out.

You don't need to know that. But I know, yeah, those two I would hear about, which was pretty cool, pretty nice company. Yeah, yeah. Did you know them very well? I knew Winona. We just would text every once in a while, and then I'll text back,

but then you know you won't get a text. One of those beautiful creatures that you're just like, oh, I love you. They come out of the woods every now and then, and drink from a fountain and disappear. And you know it's not like another friend who you, hey, let's have lunch. I have a lot of those.

I'm sure you do. I have those like, yeah. I'm sure you do. But it's good to know now. Yes, and it is, and you can't take it personally. No, no, no. There have been people where I will be like, no, after the third or fourth text to like,

hey, what's up, hope you're doing well. Yeah. Let them come, you know, because or fourth text to like, hey, what's up? Hope you're doing well. Yeah. Let them come. Right. Because it is sort of like, you end up feeling like, what is it with me? I know. It's so fascinating living in Sydney where everyone is,

I guess the word is normal. They just call you, but even famous people are more like that. They would never do that in LA. And then on top of it being famous, it's like this excuse to just be completely, you know, like not calling people back and all of that stuff.

Protected, but also that sort of like, yeah, but it's also rude. Right, exactly. But yeah, now it's taken a long time to understand all of that. Yeah, yeah. And learn who, you know, the people you really, will really get back to you or whatever.

Was there a qualitative difference in your life before say anything and after say anything? Like, did you feel that there was this big momentum to get you in all kinds of more things and stuff? Yeah, that started those few, two years, it was interesting writing the memoir because it was so jam packed with work and my personal life that it just was,

that was probably the hardest few years to get the dates right and what, even on looking up your IMDB, it was like, wait a minute, because it doesn't say when you started filming. Right, right. So that got kind of complicated. Yeah, just it's when it's released, yeah. Yeah, those few years were the years where I went to do this movie in London, the Rachel

Papers, and then I had to fly back to do reshoots of Say Anything. And then I went back, you know, it was the most kind of back-to-back few years. And I was really happy and I kind of went with it. And, you know, being young, I was kind of out of it and sort of like, oh, in the moment just doing it. Well, you had this relationship with Anthony Kiedis that was tough. I mean, you say you were happy,

but was it hard to be happy with him? I wasn't, I wouldn't say I was happy. I just mean, I'm glad. You were busy and productive. Oh, right, that's right. That was also interesting that I was sort of able to compartmentalize a little bit. When I was filming, I was fulfilled

and I went through all the things you go through. I hope I'm good, I hope they're happy with me. You know, it's a lot of work, all of that. But I was able to kind of be a workaholic in a sense. And that was great. And then when I was with him was just pretty hellish, but then the work was always a nice escape. Was it just the heroin, do you think?

Mm, I mean, no, with him? Yeah, yeah. I mean, was that what made it hellish? Oh yeah, oh, I thought you meant what, other drugs? No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm like, I don't know if I could label them. No, with him? Yeah, yeah. I mean, was that what made it hellish? Oh yeah, oh I thought you meant what, other drugs? No, no, no, no, no. I'm like, I don't know if I could label them. No, no. You can imagine.

You list them in the book occasionally. No, I just mean, do you think Anthony, and I know it's like saying, you know, Dolly Parton without boobs or something, you know what I'm saying? It's not, they're inextricable at that time. There's no, but do you think if he could have been sober that it might have? Well, interestingly enough, we were together for two years in a cent. I mean, we were living together, but he was a tour a lot and all of that. The first year he was doing drugs, the second

year he was in AA, and this almost as hard the second year he was in AA, and almost as hard the second year in the weirdest way, because I was still so worried. He was clear, you know, of course, going through a lot. Yeah. So I remember thinking at the time, why is this year, you know, not year, but why is this time also stressful?

So it was just stressful both years when he was, you know, doing it and when he wasn't. But yeah, it's just, he was, you know, tortured person at the time. What do you, I mean, having addicted people in my life, I'm always amazed because so many of the people that I've known, there is like this self-loathing, but then on the other side,

there's this like tremendous self-regard. You know, like Anthony Kiedis, like you can tell that guy knows he's a hot shit rock star. Yeah. But then they're all, but you can't keep doing heroin and still feel great about yourself. Right, no, no, not at all.

Like, do you ever think about that, or have you, you know, thought about that and like what it is about addictive people that you've been around that sort of is the key to that or, you know, I guess it's a big question. Yeah, I think it's the belief you just can't take care of yourself through things without feeling better. Yeah, yeah. Like you don't have the capacity to go through hard times and feel like I can do,

I can take care of myself. Like I can, you know, whatever, self-soothe myself or whatever it is. I think it's just the, for some reason, inability to believe you can take care of yourself emotionally. But yeah, he definitely had both. When you see him perform, he's very proud of himself. Yes, yes. You sort of did segue right from Anthony into Adam Horowitz of the Beastie Boys. Sort of, you know. Yeah.

No, I can't. Exactly. You know, I can't, I can't. I'm with someone. Yeah. But then the can't. Exactly. You know, I can't, I can't. I'm with someone. Yeah. But then the overlap seems like the breakup was pretty easy, you know? With Anthony, yeah. Yeah.

I think he also, I bet you his point of view is that we weren't really together for, even though we lived together for two years. Yeah. It's probably foggy to him that he'll remember when we broke up, but yeah, it was, we were both ready. He was ready, I was ready. I guess I had that wake up call and finally thought, what am I doing?

But yeah, he seemed relieved. I'm sure he felt bad. He did, he really did. I'm sure he felt bad. He did, he really did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He really did. Like where he's just, he loves you, he really does love you and cares about you, but he's making your life shitty.

Yeah, and I'm sure I made it easy for him because I was so easygoing, but I think he was relieved. Yeah, there's a, tell the story about that crazy one where you go to meet him in New York, and then he says, wait for me, and the rest about that crazy one where you go to meet him in New York. Oh, that was huge. And then he says, wait for me in the rest, that story. Well, I went to... Because this blew my mind

that somebody would have the nerve to do this. I know, but I did, oh, well, he just, it was pretty open that he was cheating. I mean, they had a no girlfriends on tour policy. Oh, well, yeah, because you know. You know. So we, as the girlfriends, we knew and we accepted it. It was as if it was the 1960s and they were.

Wow. Yeah. So, but that was bizarre. I went to New York, I booked a flight. I was, I can't remember, I was trying to remember when I was writing it why I was going there. Because I knew I was going to see Martha Plimpton, but I can't remember if there was a work thing.

And then the night before we were talking on the phone and he was already in New York and he said, maybe you shouldn't come. And I said, well, I have my ticket, I'm coming. And I just thought, that's weird. So I showed up to the hotel and he came down with a woman. Yeah, he told you wait in the restaurant. Okay, and it was the morning and I was waiting

and he came down with this young woman around my age and we had like a little breakfast together. And part of my brain is thinking, what the hell is going on? Yeah. And then the other part is just, you know, it's just sort of, okay, this is what's happening. But it felt pretty terrible.

And then she and I took a taxi to drop her off to her job. And then I went to see Martha Plimpton. Very strange, but very rock and roll. Yeah, very rock and roll. And also there's so many, like, shameless people, like audacity gets you so far. Like, it's like, oh, shit, he's bringing this kind of, I mean, for lack of a better, you know, he's bringing a one night stand down. Yeah. And we're going to have breakfast together. And it is kind of like, well, that's nice of him to not just say, you got to go.

My girlfriend's here. Come down. I'll buy you breakfast. Yeah. I don't know what made him not tell her just wait. I still don't know. Maybe I'll ask him. Do you think it was a flex?

Like, do you think it was like, let's see if Ioni says... Maybe. Maybe. That's a bit dark, but it could be. Could be. It might have been him, he probably didn't want to be in a relationship, and he probably shouldn't have been, and maybe it was a way to kind of blow it up. You meet Adam, and it's the first time that you said

that you feel like a real kind of healthy love. Yes. A healthy love. Yeah. And you get married and it's, you know, and you do sound like wonderfully happy. Um, and then it starts to come apart and it's a continuation of a pattern.

Yes. I think, yes, I just had that thing when he was away, or if I was doing a movie or something, after a certain amount of time, I start looking for a partner. And it's almost, the funny thing is I'm always, was always looking for a married, someone to marry, though. And so they would become- Even with the people that were sort of the side- Well, my feeling was, yes, I wasn't saying,

I mean, I could have been one of those men that have several marriages. But I think for me emotionally, I knew intellectually, Adam's coming back, I'm gonna be okay. But I almost needed like a therapy dog in the form of a human with me. Oh wow. And I just would either have an enmeshed girlfriend

where we're like heavenly creatures and just all together, or I would need somebody with me. But it wasn't just a friendship or bringing a best friend along if you need support, or having like a posse like some people do with their trainers, their best friend, or whatever, some of these celebrities do. I would always turn it into a romance,

because I think more than anything, and I didn't want to say the word love addict in my book because I'm always like, that's corny. But I think I had that intrigue thing where I loved having the extension of, oh, I like you, you're creative, you're interesting, I now wanna take it farther and I want you to validate. I had this like validation thing.

So it was purely emotional and not rational. Right, right. But there was this sexual aspect to it too where you needed it all. Yes, and it wasn't like, oh, I need to, I wasn't like a sexed up, it wasn't like, oh, I need to, I wasn't like a sexed up, it wasn't even physical necessarily, it was just, I wanted to have that experience.

Or I was just young and should have been single. Yeah, yeah. So there's- Horny, it might have been horny. Exactly, maybe, maybe just horny. So there's two things going on. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I could, yeah.

Yeah, because you were 21 when you married him? Yes, I was 21. I wanted it all because I really, really loved the security of having, I could, yeah. Yeah, because you were 21 when you married him? Yes, I was 21. I wanted it all because I really, really loved the security of having, I do, and now I love being married. Yeah. And I loved it then, but I think, I feel, I always felt like maybe Sean Penn was like this, like you want your wife, but you also kind of just want to do your thing. Yeah, yeah.

And I sort of felt like, is this what he, why am I doing this? But I wanted both. I didn't want to do your thing. Yeah, yeah. And I sort of felt like, is this what he... Why am I doing this? But I wanted both. I didn't want to just be single. I wanted the security. Yeah. I laughed out loud, and I should not have laughed, but it's that you tell your manager at the time, Adam and I are getting a divorce, and she immediately says to you... No one will love you as much as he does.

Oh, thanks. Yeah. Thanks. That was the worst. And here's your 15% or whatever she's getting paid. Yeah, and then I did a few months later let her go. Yeah. Which I just.

Jesus, what a thing to, that is not the thing to say. I know, I know. It was brutal. It was something like sometimes a parent will say to you. But maybe she felt like a mother. Maybe. Yeah, yeah. But still. Again, that's a person that's used to just saying her mind

and not having any consequence for it, probably. You break up and then you decide, because the way that you had your first daughter, Kate, is not, well... Strange. you had your first daughter, Kate, is not... Strange. It's funny that it's strange, but it also is kind of like one of the oldest tales in time. There's also something very old fashioned about it, where it was just sort of like, oh, hey. Tell a little bit about how that...

Yeah, old fashioned in the sense of being set up by mutual family, friend who we both- Being told you'd be good for each other. Exactly, we both trusted and she said, you will like him because of these reasons and to him you will like her because of these reasons. And we both were in a point in our lives where we wanted to get married and have a child and children.

And it was very old fashioned and formal in that sense. Like getting together. Because it was upfront, it was spoken, even like first date, like I want to get married and have children with you. I know, it was, and I guess we, maybe he had told our mutual friend that, and I sort of told her that, so it was kind of on the table

before kind of dating apps, I guess, like we had it on the table. So very strange and very fast. And I think it was just this sort of time bomb. Once I got pregnant, you better work this out. And you know, we did get engaged. And then I started to kind of panic. I don't know that this is a match. And that was very hard. Then I sort of pulled away and said, let's wait. And then that just ruined it for him. He said, I won't recover from this and I'm, you know, this is it, we're not doing this.

And then I backpedaled thinking, oh my, I'm pregnant. We should try. And then I tried for a while, but it just, but we've worked it out as best you can. Yeah, yeah. Well, but you did have the, I mean, it does seem that from an outside perspective that you were just, you live so much in the moment

that you're like, oh, all right, well, let's, I've tried other methods of getting to this sort of whatever it is, happiness or stability or coupledness. Well, let's try this one. You know, I mean, looking back, I had the sense to pull out, you know? Yes, that was, that was good. I just, and he's fabulous. He's a very dutiful father and we're friends.

We were just texting now about my mom's 80th birthday, but, um, I, I still look back and I'm kind of afraid of how fast we both went into that, hoping for the best. It was a real kind of fingers crossed. And then, you know, my daughters had two homes, which is the, you know, the consequence of that fast decision. So I still will have to understand why I went so fast on that,

but thankfully it did work out. Did writing the book help you? Like, did you get to the end of this and feel, you know, what... Well, first of all, were you scared shitless about writing this book? I've always wanted... I've loved writing certain stories, especially my junior high years. I was a bit obsessed. I'm a bit obsessed with my life story. So some of these stories I've been writing in certain forms. So that felt really good. And I'm kind of a shy person and about four people know

how funny and eccentric and interesting, you know, and strange I am, whatever. So I am excited to have more people see that side. Maybe it's the performer who wants attention, which is probably true. But I am feeling really excited for people to get to know me because I'm not someone that everybody knows.

But yeah, I'm scared about, they say you don't know what parts or who's going to come or have their feelings hurt. Yeah, that was my next question. I'm waiting on that. I don't know who. I'm a little nervous about my father. I want to see him this spring

and I hope he feels okay about it. My mother and my brother read it very early on and David, who I had my baby with, liked it. And the only thing he pointed out was being compared to Vincent Price, that's out of everything. And he, you know. He didn't like that? He didn't like that one thing.

And so I thought, okay, that's fine. Cause I thought, you know, I'm a little rough. He didn't seem to mind any of that stuff. So that was good. It was, you left it in. I left it, I took it out at one point and then I put it back in. But only because I couldn't think of anyone else.

I tried. And who would pop? Like, you know, George Saunders, maybe. Yes, I wanted George Saunders. But people don't... People don't know who that is. Because that's more accurate, but only you and I and a handful of people, unfortunately, would know.

But that's more accurate. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, but that's, yeah. And have you heard from Adam? Or has he read it? I wrote to him, because my proposal was leaked to page six. Oh, wow.

And that was good for my bidding war. There was a bidding war. So that's good. I don't know who leaked it, and I sort of don't care at this point, but I texted him right after that, because he's very private. And I said, I'm writing a book.

But his wife, Kathleen Hanna, had a book. So I thought, well, she's writing it. We're all, you know, we're all entertainers. And I know it'll be uncomfortable because he's so private. But I've got to live with it. He doesn't come off. He comes off as a real mensch, dare I say. Yeah, he really is.

Is there anything in the book that you kind of... ...now that it's out and in hardcover copies... ...that you're like, oh shit, maybe I shouldn't have said that? Yeah, every once in a while I'll think of something. But to be honest, no. I have to say I'm pretty okay with it. Even the kind of warts and all stuff with your daughters, you don't?

Well, my 15-year-old hasn't read it. I am not saying no, but I'm happy that I said you can and can talk about things, but for some reason she hasn't wanted to. Maybe it's just her instinct not to read it yet. And my 24-year-old was good about it. We haven't really talked, maybe we should have a long conversation about it,

but that was, I felt, she's old enough. And then I think, hopefully it'll work out. You know, there's details about your sex life. I know, that I'm not excited. To answer your question, my sex life- For kids, that's weird. That's so weird. That's also just weird.

That is hard. And even though I'm a very, I've always kind of liked to say everything. Why not? I mean, I'm the same way. I'm like, I can be open about, and especially just about like this ridiculous vessel that we're riding around in,

and the things that it makes us do, our bodies and the silliness of human bodies. But I get the picture, especially from my kids and stuff, I'm making jokes in public and stuff, they're like, you know, I didn't need to hear that. Like, all right, sorry. I know, I know. It's funny how you can have such a wild life in a way.

And then with the kids, I am very much, it's so funny. I don't wanna hear, I guess some parents read diaries or listen when my teenagers are talking with their friends. I am nowhere near that. I just don't wanna hear it. I don't either. I feel like I feel bad. I feel like I want to hear it. I don't either. I feel like, I feel bad. I feel like I'm betraying them.

Yeah. And I also, I don't know why I don't like it. I just, I'm like, ugh. I don't want to hear whatever you guys are talking about. Yeah, and I don't want to snoop on them. And I think, well, I also think too, for me, it's because, as I said before, there was a breakdown of boundaries in my childhood.

And I just, I think I'm oversensitive to it, that like, I do not wanna, you know, and I, you know, I know there's some parents that they can't handle not knowing, but I'm sort of like, no, I can handle it. I know they're not, they're not, you know, out roaming the streets. Yeah. And they tell me things which is so fabulous.

I'm so happy. I mean, not, I'm sure there's many, every once in a while my teenager will say, and she'll say, you know, I don't tell you everything. I'm like, okay. But I do feel like eventually something, if there's something on their mind, we have good communication.

As long as I feel like I can help take care of you know, take care of them and, you know, help them learn how to take care of themselves. So, but I don't want to read what I don't want to read. What do you think are your strongest attributes as a parent and your weakest? I think my strongest, I'm naturally just very nurturing and maternal. And it's a long line. My mother and my grandmother just, thankfully, even though my mom was hippie in a sense, she's just wanted to be a mom and a housewife and cook and just this kind of just normal maternal thing that I just have. And then I'm, yeah, I'm not, um, oh, my worst is I have no tolerance for their discomfort

emotionally, especially when they, well, throughout their lives. So I haven't let them learn how to take care of themselves. Like any time they're uncomfortable, I just would want to fix it and not have them be uncomfortable. So I really need to learn how to just let them squirm

in a certain sense. And I just find I need to really keep working on that. When they would have conflicts with each other, would you try and intercede and fix it? Yes, I just want them to, yeah, if they're not, if they, yeah, I have no tolerance for them. Yeah, I want everything to be nice. I want them all to feel good and everyone happy.

And I just have to learn how to tolerate that sometimes they're depressed and anxious. Sometimes they're not happy. Sometimes they're fighting, whatever. Sometimes they don't want to do this or that, but I think it's the end of the world. So the catastrophizing. That's what my husband and I've been working on lately.

No catastrophizing. There has been so much tumult in your life that you would think you would be like, you know, yeah, you know like You can you know, you can be involved with a heroin addict rock star and you end up being okay, you know, right? No, I'm just I'm so you can't put it on them No, the minute I hear a dog barking a baby crying. Oh, oh, I just want to fix it make them. No, the minute I hear a dog barking, a baby crying, I'm like, oh, oh, I just wanna fix it, make them happy. Well, the book, Say Everything, is coming out on March 4th. So I think it'll probably already be out

when we put this out now. So, and it's really a great read. I really enjoyed it, it was a lot of fun. Just the right amount of dishy stuff too. Were you aware of that when you were writing? When you're like, I gotta give a little juice here. Yeah. Yeah, because sometimes I thought I'll take out Gwyneth Paltrow in it, but then I thought, I'll give people what they want to hear, little stories. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. I mean, it's full of all kinds of

little sort of fun asides like that. And you have had a really a unique and astounding life and to come out on the other side, a well adjusted Australian mother at this point. How do you like living in Australia? How long have you been there? A year, I've been there a year. I really love it as long as I don't,

you can't really compare it to anything else, but it's kind of fabulous. If I could just have all my friends come. Right, right. So anytime- Because you're really far away. I'm really far away, but I have built-in friends because my husband's Australian.

Anytime someone comes into town, you know, we're just thrilled. And we're seeing concerts. I don't usually see concerts, but it's kind of like, oh. Yeah, you're down there, you got it, yeah, yeah. Let's go see this show. You saw the roots.

When you see, like, red hot chili peppers, do you still keep, like, would you go see them and are you still friendly? We'll see after this book. Yeah, we'll see what happens after this book. But Flea and I are the closest, and Anthony and his mother and I are the closest. But yeah, I would, yeah, we'll see what happens after this book. But Flea and I are the closest, and Anthony and his mother and I are the closest. But yeah, I would, yeah, we'll see.

We'll see after the book comes out. We'll see. Yeah, my wife grew up in Whittier and La Habra, and she confided to me once, because she was born in 1976, and she confided to me once that the only tattoo she ever considered getting was a red hot chili peppers asterisk.

Oh, I bet you that is the most popular tattoo. Yeah. And I was just like, oh my God, if you had one of those, I would roast you. I know. I feel like the red hot chili peppers t-shirts are probably the most kind of, you know, I see those. Oh yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's mind blowing. And having not grown up in Southern California, it's just how much you hear them, like they're the soundtrack of, you know. Also, out of every person I've known, and I've known a lot of famous people, it still blows my mind when I met them.

I was literally like, would buy Anthony cigarettes. Yeah. And when I sometimes think about how wealthy they are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, wow. Give me that cigarette money back. That's a trip. I'm sure you know some people like that too. Do you have any real concrete, I mean, outside of promoting the book and seeing what happens with

it, do you have any sort of big plans for the future? Are there any things left undone that you? Well, I have a sort of small painting career because I love painting, so I love that. And I just I look forward to more jobs. I still love acting. Yeah. And so... It's fun. It's fun. Yeah, it's really fun.

So I look forward to, I think there'll be some more action for me. And I'm like, this is a great time for me. The kids are at a good age for me to get busy in that way. So I look forward to, like, good projects. What's the main thing you would like people to take away from this book and away from your story? Like... Yeah, I think, well, the way that I've not just... I've transitioned from just being this sweet,

pretty, ingenue, like, easygoing kid and then young adult to being someone who people think pretty ingenue, like easygoing kid, and then young adult, to being someone who people think is funny, reliable, has great ideas, can work with people who are successful. Show up. Wise even. Wise.

Yeah, yeah. So I think it's inspiring. I feel like it definitely is inspiring to be forgiving. I just happen to be forgiving of others and- And of yourself. And of myself. I do have a kind of understanding that people go through a lot and you can get back

and you can still, if you're lucky and whatever that magical thing is, I think about this scene in Boogie Nights when he says, I just want to wash my brain. And that thing that you can do that in a sense. Like, yes, I had a big exposure, especially at a young age with Anthony Kiedis, but you can still go back to kind of being hopeful

and it's a work to do that. But I think that that's inspiring to sort of be forgiving and understanding. So I hope people feel like they can do that as well. Say everything. It's out now. It's a really great read. And Ione Skylee, thank you so much

for spending an hour with me. Oh, thank you. It was great talking to you. And I'm glad you came in. Me too. All right, thanks everybody for listening. I'll be back next week. The Three Questions with Andy Richter

is a Team Coco production. It is produced by Sean Doherty for listening and I'll be back next week. with assistance from Maddie Ogden, researched by Alyssa Grahl. Don't forget to rate and review and subscribe to The Three Questions with Andy Richter wherever you get your podcasts. And do you have a favorite question you always like to ask people? Let us know in the review section. Can't you tell my love's a-growing? Can't you feel it ain't a-showin'?

Oh, you must be a-knowin'. I've got a big, big love. This has been a Team Coco production.