The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Jason Alexander

Episode Date: May 9, 2023

Jason Alexander (Seinfeld) joins Andy Richter to discuss how a trip to magic camp as a young boy changed his career path forever, finding his place in theater, the joys of being a grandfather, and his new podcast, “Really? No, Really?”.

Hi, Andy Richter here. I'm here again with the three questions. And I'm speaking today to a beloved presence on our stage screen, both large and small. Jason Alexander. Hi. Hey, Andy. How are you? I'm better than most, not as good as some. Good, good, good.

And we were just speaking about how this, where we're recording this is very much in your neighborhood. This was a delight. I strolled. I literally strolled from my home to yours nice it was a delight yeah yeah yeah i felt like i was back in new york going hey look at me it's always great when you can walk somewhere here although it does feel weird sometimes it is a little strange yeah yeah the first time i ever came out here long long long time ago i can't remember i was auditioning for something and i had to go over to the Fox studios. And I was staying at a hotel in Beverly Hills.

And on the map, it was like not a big distance. Oh, yeah, yeah. So I went, oh, you know what? I'm just going to walk it. Yeah. And a Beverly Hills police officer, as I'm walking with a sport coat on, can I help you? No. They were very concerned that a stranger was walking in Beverly Hills without benefit of dog.

Right. You know, so apparently not a good thing out here. Yeah, no, I have concerned that a stranger was walking in Beverly Hills without benefit of dog. Right. You know, so apparently not a good thing out here. Yeah, no, I have done that. Well, doing it here and then, but in other cities too, like going to Kansas City, picking a restaurant and saying, oh, look on the map. It's not that long. And it's like, oh no, it's a long walk. It's a long walk. Yeah.

And in Buffalo, I did that as a young man in Buffalo. And I remember asking a guy who was sitting on the stoop, you know, I'm looking for the such and such restaurant. How far is it? Two, 12 blocks. Wow, that's a range. That's a big range. I guess we don't do that very often.

Well, I want to get this right off the top. You asked my new venture. Yes, your new venture. The thing that'll finally put you on the map. That's right. Yeah. It's about time people started to take notice. We wanted to hop into the podcasting thing before it took off.

I don't want to get in when something's blooded. I do. I want to get in when it's fresh. Oh, I was. You know, my agents, Johnny Come Lately Incorporated. Because, yeah, no, I was, I, I, you know, my agents, Johnny come lately, uh, incorporated, uh, cause yeah, no, it was already, well, I, I, and I mentioned this before on here. I have friends who were truly podcast pie. Like they were, they were pioneers. They were, I would, I went on their podcast and was like, what does that mean?

Podcast. Um, so I was always a little bit hesitant i can't come in tv boy and like i'd like to do one too but i'm right there with you yeah but then it ended up like well everybody's doing them you know we've had a fascinating time it's really um uh i'll help you with the plug it's called uh really no really No Really. It's really the brainchild of my creative partner, Peter Tilden. Who I think I've met. I'm sure you absolutely met Peter. I must have met him somewhere along the way.

He was a talk radio host for 30 years. I've had two very failed but very fun follow-up series to Seinfeld, and Peter created both of them. Why I'm still with him, I don't know. I'm a glutton for punishment. Well, you know, third time's the charm that's the charmer yeah

so this was really his idea but the show is it's a really simple premise it's just we explore stuff that makes us go really yeah

no really and and the range is extraordinary yeah and we we're we actually did a lot of episodes as a proof of concept

and then sold it to iHeart. I see. We've only- We threw the competition. Oh, I'm so sorry. Get out. Yeah, out. But it's also available wherever you listen.

Oh, of course. Yeah. But I think we've dropped eight or nine- Oh, wow. You know, full episodes on the air. And how many did you do before as the proof of concept? We did about a dozen. Oh, wow.

But the format changed. I see. Because we thought, you know, the first one we ever did was based on a Jerry Seinfeld stand-up premise of his observation about why is it that the stall doors in public restrooms don't come down to the floor? Why can't we have that privacy? He does a great bit about it's a little viewing window for your sad belt and your pathetic shoes. But, you know, he never shoes and um but he but you know he never answers the question because he doesn't know the answer right we went okay funny observation but yeah why is that yeah yeah so we found an award-winning public restroom designer and we

got the answer and initially when we did that episode he was our entire episode yeah we did 40 minutes with that guy right and he was great and it was fun. And Peter and I have a fun banter. But we realized that's a lot of time for a single small topic like that. So over the course of developing it to sell it, the episodes tend to start with something quite small and they balloon up into bigger issues. So that when Bathroom finally aired, we had three guests on that. And it became about why are we so quick to surrender our privacy why are we so cavalier about that yeah and so it it starts with something kind of silly and it often gets you know rather if not heady significant or or thoughtful can i guess the reason that they

don't go all the way down sure mopping you're you you're the first person to really get it. Yeah. Yeah. So it has to do with, unfortunately, in high traffic public restrooms, the mopping is minimal. What they do is they have almost like a sprayer. Oh, yeah. And the tile goes up the walls. So they spray over the top of the stalls. Oh, wow. It runs down the walls.

It runs across the floor. And just goes up. And you notice there's drains in the middle of the floor. So all these guys are doing are squeegeeing down. They don't want to have to deal with doors. So they can go right under since it's all coming down to the floor. They go right under with the thing. With the sprayer.

Wow. Yeah, it's got, you know, the bathrooms are the same as an abattoir. It's like just let everything, everything just flows down to a drain. You betcha. Yep. By the way, do you know why the hand dryers have replaced the towels? It's like just let everything, everything just flows down to a drain. You betcha. Yep. And. By the way, do you know why the hand dryers have replaced the towels?

It's not because of saving money on paper. Saving money on labor, taking trash out? Vandalism. Vandalism? Kids would go in and set the towels on fire. And with enough of a preponderance and repetition that the industry went, no, we're going to switch this up. Good going, kids. No, America's fine.

Setting fire. Honestly, that wouldn't occur to me in 100 years, 111 years to like, oh, why don't I set that on fire? That's hilarious. Come on. But I do think in those kinds of instances, like, like why do we surrender our, when you said, why do we surrender our privacy? I think like, well, that's like a very modern idea in the first place. You know what I mean? People were tossing their, tossing their waist into the street, you know. They were, but, you know, up until 25 years ago, when you and I went home and we shut our doors, for the most part, there wasn't a real portal looking in.

Right. And we weren't unknowingly broadcasting out. Yes, yes. So, I don't have this, but many people have the Roomba. Yes. The Roomba is a communication device. And as it's going around your home, do you know how it learns? It maps your house.

Yeah, yeah. Well, it also maps and sends a signal out about the mapping of your house. Absolutely true. It's like, there it is. Yeah, yeah. You know, everybody has a ring doorbell. Yeah. Well, if my neighbor has it, I'm on. Yeah, yeah. You know, everybody has a ring doorbell. Yeah. Well, if my neighbor has it, I'm on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we don't have a choice anymore. No. We really can't insist on privacy. But in a restroom, you know the old adage in our business, if you can see the camera, the camera can see you. Well, if you're sitting on the toilet and you're seeing clearly the faces of passers-by, they're seeing you. They sure are.

They sure are. There's no privacy. Yeah, yeah. Oh, there's something egalitarian to it. Oh, we're all, aren't we all equal? We're all enjoying the same amount of shameful indulgence. That's how people get over stage fright. They go, imagine they're all pooping somewhere.

And, you know, with some matinees, they might be. Well, yes. There's very old people out there, you know, and young people too. Well, that's great. I mean, and so far, the one I wanted to hear about is Renegade Piranhaanha yeah blunt roller to the stars yeah she was amazing and she's an amazing young lady um uh born in iran um came here when she was a a young teenager she's a rapper she i mean she has many aspirations yeah now you're talking to less than an idiot on this subject because i've never been drunk i've never been

high i don't i don't smoke anything i can't smoke weed i'm actually allergic to it so she brought tons of that stuff into our studio and if i hadn't taken a healthy dose of allergy pills and sprays i would have had a problem wow but um yeah she has become the blunt roller to the stars and primarily where she made her you know sort of name publicly was for snoop dogg right and um yeah because there was some comment stories about yes and she has someone just back a little bit as it was misrepresented but um for snoop alone she was rolling somewhere between 75 and 150 blunts a day blunts this is not any puff and you're done these are you know stogies is she mixing them with tobacco because yes okay yeah and apparently very fine tobacco wow i i have to say you know she she rolled one in in the studio

during the show and it's a work of art it's got got a glass tip. She has developed her own natural glue to seal it. All of this stuff is available on her website. And she. It'd be terrible if you inhaled something unhealthy. Oh, yeah. Right. Yeah. And she brought as a gift.

She brought two bags of weed. Right. And I said to her, these are like big Ziploc bags. I said, what is the relative street value of what you've just handed me? And she went, well, that's about a thousand bucks. Again, I don't know from weed. This is not my thing. I put the two sealed bags in another sealed bag in the trunk of my car.

And I was sure if a cop passed me they'd smell it in their car i still can't get the smell out of my car that is the most powerful yeah so somebody i know very well smokes every day and they're very happy i gave them this thing how was that stuff and they went holy holy shit, man. Wowie wow. Yeah, yeah. Who's a wah-wah-wah? Yeah, yeah. So she was, but she was fantastic.

She was, you know, she's everything you want in a conversation. She's lively. She's smart. Wow. You'd have her back in a heartbeat. I see William Shatner as a guest. Yeah. Did you have him on?

Yeah, so we. And what about him makes you go, really? No, really. So again, we try not to have a celebrity on for the sake of celebrities. Yeah. You know, there are many, many, many shows, and yours is a very successful one, where you talk to people who are just notable people. Right. And you have conversations.

We try to make sure that there's something that makes us go, really? Yeah. What started us off on that there were two for bill and we both peter and i know bill pretty well one was the obvious one at 92 years old without benefit of training they blasted you into outer space and we said to him was there a medic on board he went i don I don't know. I would imagine there is. And I said, well, is there a defibrillator? And he said, no, they said, if there was a problem with my heart,

the G-force going up and the G-force coming down would probably restart my heart. And I went, oh, and that was fine with you. You went, okay, great. Okay, check that box. So that was the first thing is we wanted to find out how anybody, you know, who was insuring that flight. Yeah, no problem. We'll put him on. The other thing was, honestly, Bill does more in a week than you and I together do in a month.

Wow. He's got this joie de vivre and this passion and this curiosity for everything. He's still making albums doing concerts touring reality shows non-reality shows but he's got this whole horse organization horse charity yeah he writes book non-stop yeah and we were fascinated because peter i'm 63 and i go i i need a nap yeah um how does he do it what generates it so we started talking about that kind of stuff, but you can't, Bill dictates any interview.

Bill goes where he wants to go. And it's usually where no man has gone before. Can't you tell my love's a girl? You're a Jersey boy. Yeah. Mom was a nurse and your dad was an accountant, correct? My dad was many things. Uh-huh.

My mother was always a nurse and a nurse educator. Okay. She created and ran probably the most highly acclaimed nursing school in New Jersey during the years that she was there. My dad, so I don't know how many of my dad's stories are true or not true. Many of the ones that I sort of turned a side eye to turned out to have some veracity to it. My dad did everything from in his youth, he seemed to have been associated with the Jewish mob in the lower east side of New York. He claims to have been a Pinkerton detective at some point, where I go, what's the vetting process for that

if you were working for the Jewish mob in New York? He was a transit bus driver, New York, New Jersey line. He sold life insurance for many years. He ended his working life, yes, as an account manager for a brush manufacturing company. Oh, okay, account manager. I see, I see. I see.

But yeah, he worked for Bell Laboratories at one point. This is a guy that had one year of a college education. So I don't know, very diverse and sort of checkered. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, well, in that case. Was your mom the provider of stability and your mom was the provider of – or your dad was the provider of adventure and entertainment? So my parents – my dad was a widower when he was 48 years old.

He had two children with his first wife and she passed away from what is called scleroderma, which would eventually kill my sister as well. So he had one – and my sister was always very sickly. So my father had a wife that spent three years at great expense, unfortunately not making it, a sickly child. And my brother was, because of all that, kind of a renegade kid. He got into a lot of trouble as a kid. So my dad was broke at age 48 and a single father without the emotional or financial tools to do that. Somehow he got set up on a blind date with my mother.

Yeah. And at the time, my mother was a 39-year-old woman who had never been married and had never really, at that point, thought never be married yeah and they just a career yeah yeah and they kind of hit it off and within very short time my father said look here's the deal do you want a husband and a family because i got both yeah and but what i don't have is i i can't raise these kids on my own and I'm in debt up to my ears. And, you know, it was kind of a business arrangement. Yeah, yeah. Well, it sounds very alluring. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Who could say no to that? Right? Absolutely. So they both went into it with eyes wide open. Yeah. In 1959, 39-year-old women did not get pregnant. It just wasn't a thing.

Yeah. Except... So when I was born, my father almost hung himself because he went, I'm never going to retire. I can't get out. I can't get out. And how old were the son and daughter? My dad was 50.

And how old were the son and daughter? My sister was 13 when I was born, and my brother was 17 or 18 when I was born. Or maybe 18 or 19. So I grew up never really knowing my brother. He moved out hard on the heels of my birth. My sister was around for the first four or five years of my life, and then she went off to college in her life. Right.

So I really grew up mostly as an only child. Yeah. But those were my folks. And they were amazing. Colorful, funny, interesting, nutty. And do you think that that was kind of what set you on the road to show business, to like being an entertainer? I don't think so.

Nobody in my family was really in that business my parents were both really good storytellers i mean i've told the story i've told this thing several times and it i i know if you look at me now and you look at what i do in the public forum it's a little hard to believe this but i was an incredibly introverted child. I was very shy. I was frightened by things. I talk to so many people here who do what we do who are like, I'm very shy. And I was pretty much a loner kid. Because I was such a fearful kid, when I was five or six years old, I suddenly got this thing about magic.

I wanted to do magic. I wanted to be a magician. Wow. I think I saw Mark Wilson on the Ed Sullivan show and his kid was in the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went, oh, powers, powers. Magic. And, you know, if you, in the comic books, they were always said, get the whammo magic kit, you know.

Yeah, sure. So I was sent away for that. And I became, as much as you can be a serious six-year-old, I became very serious about magic. And I had the kits and I had the books and I would be up in my room and I'd be practicing. And I really, if I had any ambition, it was to be some sort of performing magician. But I didn't think of it as performing because I thought of it as empowering myself. If I could just make people feel that I was special in any way. So you were almost kind of believing it. You were almost kind of a mark.

Yeah, no, I just wanted to create the illusion that, you know, if I could make, if I could find your card in the back, I must be special. But there's a magic to it that you, you know, you were believing in some kind of magic. Like, yeah, it's like, yeah, I know the tricks behind it, but still there will be this like. Absolutely. When I was 12 or 13 years old, a couple of things happened simultaneously. Yeah, I know the tricks behind it, but still there will be this like, oh. When I was 12 or 13 years old, a couple things happened simultaneously. We moved five towns over where I knew absolutely nobody. And I went to magic camp.

And at magic camp, and I wanted to be a close-up magician. I wanted to do the things with my hands. And I went to magic camp and I had a professor who basically went, oh, this is not for you. And one of the reasons was that even to this day, my hand is so small, I cannot palm a standard playing card without some corner of it peeking out. So cards, and I don't have long fingers. So for what was fairly easy for most kids yeah was difficult for me and i wasn't even getting to the difficult stuff yet so i realized i was not gonna be the kind of magician i wanted to be and i was really kind of i know and i was i was devastated i was devastated after spending more than half your young life focused on this thing oh my god but we had moved right and i so my parents decided oh he doesn't

know anybody we'll buy him a pass to the community pool because nothing is better for a fat kid than to be sitting at the community pool in my you know in my speedo and my and i'm in this pool you know in water up to my chin i don't know his soul. And this teenage girl came over and she went, hi, do you sing? And I, and you know, she was gorgeous. And I went, yeah. And this community, Livingston, New Jersey, had a very active and well-funded teen theater organization. And she pulled me into this production of The Sound of Music. They had lost one of the Von Trapp kids.

And I became a Von Trapp son. She's an amateur talent agent. And what happened to me was not, yes, I got on stage and I felt at home on stage, and I had skills on stage that I didn't know I had. But what got me was, ah, I have a community. I walked into the first rehearsal, I opened my mouth,

I went, Doe, a deer, a fish. And they went, Oh my God. And suddenly you have friends. I never had a team. I never had a community. I never had a circle.

So the acceptance was overwhelming. It was like, I'm home. And that's what started me down the path. Was I need to stay a part of this community as long and as much as I can. Yeah. And did you just have natural facility for singing or had you been fired? Yeah.

I mean, I had a voice. And then once I decided I was going to do this, I studied voice. Wow. And then, you know, if you like my singing, it got better over the years. Yeah, yeah. But I knew how to sing. and I started taking some dance lessons. I mean, I got very serious. In the same way that I had been serious about the magic,

I got serious about, you know, trying to. And for me, because these kids were theater kids, and we lived in Jersey, we would go every weekend and see two or three shows in New York. Oh, wow. So my dream of a career, there was nothing with a camera. My goal was, how do I get across that river and start working on those stages? Yeah, yeah.

So that was the total focus for me. Yeah. And your folks, were they happy that at least our boy was found? Or is happiness not in there? Yeah. My parents were amazing. They were thrilled that i found a thing they were thrilled that i you know was it was doing well at something and had found a

community and they were incredibly supportive yeah and scared to death because the more and more i got serious i mean i remember one day in eighth grade i went hey mom have you ever heard of the high school performing arts in new york and she mom, have you ever heard of the high school performing arts in New York? And she said, yeah. Have you ever heard of Livingston High School? Because that's where you're going. They did not want me to think of this as a life. Because they were just afraid. They knew. Nobody succeeds. So my mother very much wanted me to follow her footsteps into medicine if I could. Not really. I was a functional idiot and there was no way I was going to do that. My dad actually, I had a cousin, Ronnie, who was a very successful orthodontist. My dad wanted me to be an orthodontist. So they were not thrilled, but I fell into a professional career when I was 14 years old. I couldn't have done that if they hadn't been driving me through

the auditions and coming to everything I was doing. So the support was huge. So you started to get paid. I fell into, yeah, a professional career at 14. I was working with a little children's theater group that did original musicals in New Jersey. And a dad in the audience was a TV producer of sorts. And he thought that these little musicals could be a good television series for kids so he he got investors and we shot a a pilot for it uh but we all had to join after yeah so you know at 14 i got my union card wow and i got paid for that gig he couldn't sell it as a series but he did get it on the local new york affiliates like a Sunday morning at nine o'clock. And, uh, a management company that only handled kids and teens saw it, liked me, found me

and said, we want to rep you. And I went, okay. And, uh, and so at 14, I started auditioning for all kinds of things, but I started doing, I started building a commercial career. By the time I went to college, I had probably been in a dozen to 16 commercials. Wow. And auditioned for a bunch of stuff. So I was starting to get comfortable in a professional audition situation. Right. And also making money that then you can spend on college. That's fantastic.

Yeah. Do you have tape of that first thing? It's out there. I don't have it. It's called, so it was the Pushcart Players, and the episode was called Feelings and Friends. Oh. And it's out there.

I don't know if it's on YouTube, but I have seen it. You've seen it on the internet. People have somehow sent me, here's a clip of you, and you go, oh, my God, where'd you find that? So, yeah, it's out there. sent me here's a clip of you and you go oh my god yeah yeah so yeah um well that's i mean that's pretty fantastic and you never wavered you never kind of thought there was never a point where you felt you know kids that play baseball and then they you know they reach a point where they're sick of baseball or you know i never got sick of it because it's as you know it's never it's never the same game twice um and i never had sick of it because, as you know, it's never the same game twice. Sure.

And I never had to question it because I'm born under a lucky star. I never had a period of time where it wasn't going well enough for me to go, yeah, I'll wait it out another month. It'll turn. It'll turn. So I was very fortunate. There was not enough downtime. That's not true.

After my Broadway debut, I had a bit of a dry spell, and I don't drink. It's not, I have no stance on that. I just never took a taste of it. That was just it? There's no real reason? No, my mother, there was, in New Jersey, there was a very famous case when I was sort of coming of drinking age of a young lady named Karen Ann Quinlan, who very much like me was an asthmatic and went on a binge drinking with friends and went into a coma from which she died.

And my mother went, ah! Complications with the medication of some kind. My mother bore into me with those eyes and I went, I'll never drink, Mom. I'll never drink. Right, right. But I never did. I just, you know, the stuff that you would, the only stuff I liked was the sweet stuff. And you just get sick on that. Right, right. But I never, I just, you know, the stuff that you would, the only stuff I liked was the sweet stuff. Yeah, yeah.

And you just get sick on that. Right, exactly. You can't really get a good drunk out of. Right, excellent. A slow gin fizz, yeah. But I was going to, in this dry period, right after my Broadway debut, I was going to go to the American Bartending School, which says in two weeks we'll make you a qualified bartender. Yeah. I would have been there six months because i i knew some people come in with some

working knowledge of something yeah yeah but uh that was when my wife who uh when i met her she was determined to try and be an actress she said yeah you know what no i'm gonna go to work you're gonna you're gonna stay available and so she went and took a job and and about three months after that i did get my next gig wow wow that's amazing you know one of the things because i mean i kind of you know i got to a point when i started to hang out with there weren't i mean i'm from a smaller town so there weren't wasn't really like the theater kids yeah i mean they i would have been one and there was maybe one or two but that doesn't that's not enough to make a clique you know you have to have to do very small plays. Yes, yes.

No exit. Yeah. You know, not really high school fair. But like I went to, I was in speech team. Did you have speech team? Sure. Yeah. Yeah.

I was in speech team and I got, I went to speech team camp when I was maybe a junior, sophomore, junior in high school. And it was my first exposure to theater kids like real theater kids and it was my first exposure to like out gay teens and just like yeah kids with their head shape yeah like just all the the wonderful weirdos and and i wonder if like not drinking among these theater people like who are such libertines like were you sort of seen as like no fun or

no really no they didn't care they didn't care and even when I got to college you know there was I was constantly you know breaking out in hives because that's my reaction to weed is I get either like a migraine you mean just second hand and so I couldn't walk down the hall of my dorm but you know, breaking out in hives because that's my reaction to weed is I get either like a migraine. You mean just kind of headache? Secondhand?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And so I couldn't walk down the hall of my dorm. But no, nobody cared that I wasn't into that stuff. You know, I went to college from 77 to 81. Where was college? Boston University. In Boston University, yeah.

And, you know, nobody cared. Yeah, yeah. Nobody cared. Yeah. And then you left college. Were you still working during college? I was nobody cared. Yeah, yeah. Nobody cared. Yeah. And then you left college. Were you still working during college? I was doing commercials. Yeah.

In Boston or would you come home for them? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the thing that changed. So I didn't finish college. I didn't graduate. Because the summer after my junior year, I got my first film, a crappy little horror film called The Burning, notable only in that it was my first film. It was Holly Hunter's first film. It was Harvey Weinstein's first film.

Wow. Three of the most notorious creeps in Hollywood. Well, Holly, you know, terrible. What a horrible, horrible person. Her day is coming. Yeah. Oh, boy. Actually, Holly and I became platonic roommates right after that.

Oh, really? Because I couldn't, well, I'll tell you the story. I couldn't go back to school because the movie ran over a little bit late. And so I couldn't get back to start my semester. Was that nerve wracking? I would be a nervous wreck. No, it was okay. You were like, okay.

Because I talked to my advisor. She said, you'll start, so you'll come back second semester. You'll graduate a semester late. And I went, okay, great. So Holly, who had just graduated college said, well, I know you're not going to be around very long, but you want to, you want to take a place together and we'll share the cost. So, um, uh, I, we became roommates and I hear it was out here in New York. Okay.

And the woman that had cast me in the film took pity on me and gave me a job as the office flunky. So I was reading with actors for auditions. I was doing filing and whatnot. And during that semester, what would have been that semester, A, I met my wife, and B, I got cast in my Broadway debut. Oh, wow. And that sort of upended all the plans about how and when i would get back

to college and and subsequently i never did yeah so i do not have a bfa but i do have an honorary doctorate which is worth about as much as this cup of latte right i'll link you up one right now if you give me a pen yeah but i was able to say to my mom, Mom, I became a doctor. Oh, my son, the doctor. Yeah, my son, the doctor. She died in peace, by gosh. Were you always aiming, because, I mean, you're a comedian, I think it's fair to say. I wasn't. You weren't?

Yeah. No, that happened in college as well. Because, but I mean, most of what you do is comedy. I mean, you do some. Most of my professional life has been comedy. Yeah, yeah. And are you okay with that? I've become okay with it.

I've actually become very happy with it. Yeah. Initially, it was like hearing I couldn't be a magician. Tell me about, was there one person that said you should go into comedy? Oh, yes, indeed. Yeah, yeah. So I was a sophomore in college, and we had a professor named Jim Spruill. He was the only black professor in my department.

And Jim had come up in street theater in the 60s, you know, political theater, trying to move the civil rights movement forward. So he was a kind of nuts and bolts, down and dirty guy. He was not an estate. He told it like it is. And I kind of clicked with him. I really liked him. I liked what he had to say.

And he pulled me into his office at the end of my first semester that year and he had this very kind of deep boss-o voice. And so I'll try and evoke him. And he says to me, Jay, I know your heart and soul is Hamlet. And you would be a

profound Hamlet. You are never going to play Hamlet. So you best get good at Falstaff. And I was like rocked because he basically said, look in the mirror, you're five foot six on a good day when your feet swell, you're 20 pounds overweight on your best day yeah and you're already losing your hair yeah yeah you're not gonna cut the dash of the kind of guys you gravitate to play so if you want it's not that you can't do those but if you want to have a commercially viable career you've got to start thinking about character roles and potentially comedic character roles. And I always loved comedy.

I just didn't think I was terribly good at it or had any flair for it. So I took him very seriously and I created my own syllabus on comedy. And I started really watching and really studying everybody that made me laugh and trying to figure out why are they funny? How are they funny? What are they doing that I don't know? And I began sort of trying to cobble together a comedic sensibility. And a lot of what I do when I'm playing a comedic role is I cast the comedian that I think would be great in it. And I kind of try and make them an avatar for what I'm doing.

I think would be great in it. And I kind of try and make them an avatar for what I'm doing because I have no, I don't feel I have in a way that I understand my own sense of humor or comic persona. The George comic persona began as Woody Allen morphed a little bit to Jackie Gleason. And then when I understood what it was, it became my version of Larry David. Yeah.

Yeah. But never did I go, okay, what would Jason do? I understood what it was, it became my version of Larry David. Yeah. Yeah. But never did I go, okay, what would Jason do? I was always thinking, what would Larry do? Yeah. Yeah. And so, you know, I just don't, I acknowledge my facility now with comedy, but I still don't think of myself as an intrinsically funny person. Wow. That's amazing. Yeah. self as an intrinsically funny person. Wow. That's amazing. Yeah. And like when he said this to you,

did you just know he was right? What made you not push back and say, you know, cause so many of those stories end up being like, well, I'll show you. Right. And you said, okay. You know, and which I, I'm not like, I'm not passing judgment in any way because I've had moments like that where somebody said, this is probably what you should be doing. And I didn't know it. And I went, oh, yeah, you're probably right. Yeah. So I am capable when I am 40 pounds overweight of looking in the mirror and going, it's pretty good. You look strong. Right.

But I can also take away that bullshit and go, wow, man, you're, you're letting it go. You're getting out of control. I was able to do that then too. I was able to look in the mirror and go, yeah, I could, I can play those roles. I mean, I, I, I cut a little bit of a better dash when I was in college than I do now. And I said, I'm viable. I'm viable. I could do that. And I was playing some of those roles. You know, when you could choose your own scenes, I was doing that stuff and doing it effectively. But I looked in the mirror after he said that,

and I went, I do look a little more like Walter Matthau than Jack Lemmon. Yeah. And so I just went, yeah, no, I get that. And you know who was very big when I was in college was Belushi. Ah. And I was often, I don went, yeah, no, I get that. And you know who was very big when I was in college was Belushi. Ah. And I was often, I don't know why, because my sense of humor was nothing like his.

Yeah. But I guess I evoked a kind of a Belushi sensibility. And I went, oh, I get it. I get it. Physicality. I get what they're talking about. So, and also I knew Jim was not a bullshitter. Yeah.

I thought he was a pretty wise man. He wouldn't say that just to be mean or no flip no yeah and i really i i just i gave him a lot of credit for for being straight with me yeah you know well it's it's it's a it's a rare thing to be capable of like the kind of self-love that it takes to look in the mirror and go, man, not bad. But then also have that with the reality of, you know, like to be able to write really takes sort of like a realistic inventory. Well, also, you know, part of the reasons I was such a turned-in child is I was an easy target for bullies because of all those things.

Sure, sure. I was small. I was heavy. You know, I wasn't doing what other kids were doing. I wasn't capable in the way other kids were capable. And so, you know, I got it. It wasn't a revelation when he said that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, it's a shame, too, because, and I mean, I've been through this where, because, you know, having been, you know, heavier than I'd like to be for virtually my entire life. You know, a couple of moments where I'm like, yeah, every now and then we get it all together. Yeah. I lose some weight and then I'm like, here we go. This is now the real me. And then like, you know, carbs, I lost 50 pounds. Let's celebrate with an eclair with a face full of cake. Right. Um,

but I, you know, and I mean, so I've been told different, you know, things I can do things I can't do been left to think what I've gotten that part. If I was, you know, 20 pounds lighter or something like that. And I've often made the joke, which is only half a joke. You know, if I was to lose 20 pounds, I'd get a lot more, uh, roles as the fat guy. Uh, you know, because that happened to Wayne Knight. Yeah. Wayne, um, a couple of years after Seinfeld, I saw him and he looked, I mean, not that he doesn't look good when he's just who he is, but he had lost a lot of weight.

And he really, you know, kind of changed his whole affect when you saw him. And he said, yeah, I can't get a job. Oh, really? Wow. I mean, he was having a lot of time booking like that because he just looked terrific. But what sort of cuts Wayne out of the lineup had been removed. Yeah. And so, you know, when you've built things on the shoulders of a Wayne Knight and then that's not there anymore, they go, they look elsewhere for that.

They don't go, well, let's now see what we can do with him. And nobody's trying to be too creative in casting. No, no, no. Nobody. Well, I should take that back.

I've met some very creative casting directors, but for the most part, yeah. Or I'd say, yeah, 99%. I find in film and television, they are not looking for an actor that can do that.

They're looking for that. Yes. You know, so, um, yeah. And what, looking for an actor that can do that they're looking for that yes you know so um yeah and what and what they think of as people's idea of that right like this guy is a you know as a plumber who also is a you know what i don't know a cat burglar right you know it's like they're you know they're not going to go any kind of person they They're going to think, what does America think that that person will be? And it's frustrating in so many ways to think that and to think like, because, yeah, you being Hamlet would be pretty fascinating.

And I would love to see it. But as I said, it's not going to happen. And I can sit here and go, well, God damn it, that's not fair. And then I'll go watch a movie and there'll be somebody that doesn't quite, I'm making air quotes, fit. And I'll be like, that guy doesn't fit. You know, it's like. But you know what's kind of wonderful is I really see how that is disintegrating right now. I think you're right.

Yeah. You know, people that we wouldn't have thought of as being sort of dashing leading men, and I don't mean to cast any aspersions, but I'm just going to use as an example, Adam Driver. Yeah. Is a wonderful, attractive leading man, but 30 years ago when I was starting out,

he wouldn't have been able to audition for those roles. They would have typed him as something else. Even the fact that certainly in the theater now, casting directors and audiences are accepting trans women in female roles that have nothing to do with being a trans woman. And they're just going, tell me the story. I'm willing to invest you any way the story wants to invest you. And it's just, it's fantastic what's happening.

It's really loosening up in a way that I think could be very exciting, and I will have aged out of all of it. Yes, it's true. Can't you tell my love's a girl? Well, I've kept you a good long time. Besides the podcast, you've got some other stuff coming up, too. It's busy. It's busy.

I'm going to go off to New York and direct a play for the first time. Of The Cottage, starring Eric McCormick. What is The Cottage? I don't know that play. The Cottage is a new play written by a woman named Sandy Rustin. is a new play written by a woman named Sandy Rustin. It is, spoof is not the right word, but it is a

heightened version of the old Noel Coward plays. These British comedies where everyone's very proper and everyone's having an affair with everyone else. A weekend in someone's country home. Marvelously witty and silly and funny and really funny. It's just,

it's something that Broadway isn't doing a lot of right now where it's just a fun comedy yeah um and it's got a 16 week run that we're going to do from july 7 through october 29 with eric mccormick in the lead and uh and i get to do i get i've been directing for 40 years but now i get to do it on Broadway. So I'm very excited. And you've never directed on Broadway before? I haven't directed in New York before. Wow. That's wonderful. It's thrilling.

And you're also, you're getting to live in New York at prime urine smell time. Indeed. You really are. Oh, yes. All the best ripe months. Yes, yes, yes, yes. And you get to walk through Times Square with the guys inside the outfits who have not showered in about seven years. And it's, yeah, it's fantastic.

The filthy Elmo. Oh. The filthy. Take a picture with me. $40. I'm Maggie Mouse. You know. Then you got the movie The Electric State.

Yeah, I think that, you know, I should know when that's coming up but i think that's christmas of next year okay uh and then you're voicing a character in the upcoming animated movie leo starring adam sandler co-directed by my old friend robert smigel indeed uh coming out later in the fall voicing american journalist noah brooks in a documentary titled the gettysburg address yeah yeah i got a lot of little animation things. Yeah, but I mean, really, haven't we heard enough about Civil War, really? Let's just put that behind us. Overrated, please. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And an upcoming movie called Stealing Pulp Fiction. That's an interesting little film. I tell you, we can name it. I don't know if it's ever going to see the light of day. You know, it was one of those movies where everybody's ad-libbing, everybody's laughing their asses off, and I'm going, you can't use this, can you?

Right, right, right. And we'll see. We'll see. It was one of those things where we had a good time. Yeah. Hopefully the audience will too. You know, I just was talking to somebody on this podcast and saying, you know, like I kind of used it on the conan show

but i try to use it across the board if you pursue your own good time while you're doing something odds are the work's going to be pretty good you mentioned you know so i think you know it's probably a good it's also it's it's peter and i were talking about this the other day because we have a guest coming on that you'll see an episode of, um, who is the curator of the museum of failure. Oh, wow.

Which is fascinating, but we, but he uses it to talk about failure as a tool of success. Yeah. And, um, Peter and I, like I said,

we've had two by any barometer failed series. One went six episodes. The other one did a season and out. Yeah. But they are not failures for us. The people we met, the things we got to do, the bonding time between the two of us, the joy of those projects. And in both of them, I actually think we made a good product. I don't know why I didn't catch on.

But they were not failures for us. And so if you enter into the things that we do together for the goal of being, I want to serve my colleagues. I want to try and serve the material. I want to try and serve the audience and make their participation worthwhile. And I'm going to take my best shot at it. Yeah. That's all you can do. I know, you know, it's, well, it's a, it's a mean world. And especially in this business, it's, it can be, because I know exactly what you're saying. I was number one on the call sheet for three network sitcoms. Right.

And if you listen to the trolls on the internet, I am a failure. Right. But it's like, what are you talking about? I know. I'm not working for my mom. I'm not still in Yorkville, Illinois. I was on TV. Yeah.

I had, you know. Yeah. And it's like. Well, that's the thing that the trolls never understand. When they yell the word has been. Yeah. That's a huge compliment. Right, right.

Because it means I did something. Yes. What have you done? Or like, you know, why don't you ride Conan's coattails? Like. Right. Oh, okay. I will.

I'm Jerry's flunky. Yeah, oh, okay. I will. I'm Jerry's flunky. Right, exactly. No, Bob. We can't all be the guy in front. And I also, quite frankly, I don't want to be. I don't want to be number one. Well, I can tell you right now, I've seen what Jerry and Larry did on our show. I don't want that job.

Oh, no. No. That's a hard job. All the meetings you have to have and all the attention you get and all the bullshit. They had those guys, Jerry for nine, Larry for seven. They had no life. Yeah. You know, I raised two kids and, you know, did a ton of other stuff during those years.

Right, right. And you're a grandfather now. I am. We mentioned that at the beginning. How is that? I tell you, it is such a surprise. I don't want to be the cliche. You know, when my daughter-in-law was pregnant,

and people go, are you excited? Are you excited? And I wanted to give them what they wanted, but I was like, yeah, I mean, I think it'll be really nice. Right, right. It's not here yet. It was an abstract thing. And my grandson was born born and they put him in

my arms and i i can't even describe i'm sure it's exactly because it's hard to remember what i felt from my own sons when they were born but it's that thing that happens where you go i you're a stranger to me you little person yeah but i would i would take a bullet for you right now it's this instant thing and he happens to have this very sweet um kind of focused demeanor about him even as an infant and so when he looks at you he really looks at you yeah and i just feel this beautiful connection with him his face just makes me smile. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

And the world is a slightly better place. It was the notion of being a grandpa, you know, and the age that was that in any way. No, I remember years ago I was being interviewed for some magazine, and they said, where do you see yourself in 30 years? I said, I'm going to be an adorable little old man. I mean, I'm tiny. I'm kind of cute.

I got great stories. I do magic tricks. Come on. Right, sure. I'm built to be a grandpa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now I'm going to be an adorable little old man. I mean, I'm tiny. I'm kind of cute. I got great stories. I do magic tricks. Come on. Right, sure. I'm built to be a grandpa. And now I'm a grandpa. So, you know, it's all, no, I have no, I have nothing on that. The gravity won't have the strong effects on your body because you already have a low

center of gravity. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's kind of wonderful. And in fact, it's invigorating. And it is what everybody says. You get all the good stuff and then you go, this was great. Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow. Take it. And in fact, it's invigorating. And it is what everybody says. You get all the good stuff and then you go, this was great.

I'll see you tomorrow. And you hand them right back. And I'll tell you the really special thing. I adore my wife and I adore her as my wife, as my friend, as my partner. As a mother, I'm smitten by her. As a grandmother, I'm falling in love all over again. Oh, that's great. She takes that baby and it's like she's in her element, man. She knows how to love that child and communicate and comfort.

And I look at her with wonder all over again and go, wow, why don't you do that for me? That was a long setup. And I know, but all of that is true. And because your diapers are more problem. Well,

they are. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not on formula. So, you know, no, it really is.

And, and my wife and I are just having that experience again. Yeah. Is there anything that you feel like you've left undone that you kind of, that's still ahead of you that you're like, I want to do that. I want to open a pancake restaurant. I want to. Nailed it. How did you pick that up?

I want to go to space longer than William Shatner did. I don't know. No. In the sense of us specific, no. What I hope for, and I've started only in the last 15 years or so to really appreciate to what extent I've been doing it without knowing I was doing it, but now I'm focused on it. on it so one of the things that my mom was if she was disappointed in my choice of career at all was she would always say to me the best thing you can do honey is live a life of service be of service yeah and certainly in her profession she was sure what a nursey thing to say yeah and i for the longest time you know went boy my my chosen career, the only person I'm serving is me. I mean, I do this because they pay me to do it.

I like doing it. It makes me feel good about me. Oh, look what I can do. And I never thought it was of service. And I was diminished by that until I got a little perspective on things like the Seinfeld show where people, and this continues to happen, almost at least once or twice a week, I will hear from or meet someone who says, I was going through some bad stuff. I was sick or I lost a parent or I lost a child or I lost a job or I was serving overseas or something was going on. And you got me through it. You made me laugh.

I would turn on your work and I would laugh and it made things better. And thank you for that. Yeah. And thank you for that. And I went, oh, my God. Yeah. Maybe it's of service. Yeah. So the teaching, the mentoring, the activism stuff that I do is all an attempt to really be of service. I feel like if I am given more time, there must be more ways in which I can do that. Because I am so aware of what I think of as disproportionate blessings of my life.

I do not understand it. I say it all the time. My family and I will be in the backyard having a barbecue. We haven't got a true concern. I mean, we all have concerns. But I'm not worried about paying the rent or feeding my family. And if I get sick, I can pay for my health.

And as we're celebrating all this, there's Ukraine or there's the folks under the overpass or the guy hanging out at the 7-Eleven or the families that just got devastated because somebody they love went out and got shot by a stranger that day. And I go, how is this all possible at the same time? Yeah.

And I feel more and more called to try and be of service to that other community. So how specifically I do that, when you say, is there something you want to do? I don't want to do the big telethon. I don't know how to do that. But I know that there are contributions to be made in some way, and probably very small ones, but done a lot. If I am blessed with the time to do that, I hope that my remaining years will give me that opportunity.

Because honestly, it is nurturing beyond anything else I could do at this point. Yeah, yeah. The last question of the three questions here is what have you learned? And I mean, do you have kind of a, you know, like a sort of philosophical bit of advice that you pass on to people? Or is there something that, you know, your path is kind of, of you know don't open a pancake restaurant that kind of thing where there's like one piece of we're going out for pancakes i will tell you the the thing that um so i do uh you know a sort of presentational comedic

q a show you know and but they do result in real conversations and i do them all over the country So I do a sort of presentational comedic Q&A show. But they do result in real conversations. And I do them all over the country. And I have many conversations. Q&As are the best. Yeah, they're great. And I talk to many people that you would think initially we have nothing in common. In fact, we have a lot that pushes us to our own little corners. And inarguably, we live in a very divided and divisive time,

very tribal, and it breaks down into all kinds of different tribes. But at the end of the day, what I've discovered is unless there is someone who's deeply traumatized or has a mental health issue. But those exceptions. We all want the exact same things. We would like to feel confident and secure. We'd like to feel loved. We'd like to feel that we contribute and that we're seen and we're heard and we're appreciated.

We want to feel you know that when we when we lie down at night that it was a good day and that there's actually a hope that tomorrow could be even better in some way the the angriest most divisive people I've ever met when you talk to them it's driven more by fear than by rage when when you chase a small animal they will run because they're petrified until there's nowhere else to run. And then that fear will become this ferociousness. We seem to react to the anger and we forget the fear. And I can tell you as someone who has been fearful all my life, I feel that in people. And when I am able to summon the compassion to reach out for them and say, we don't need to be afraid of each other. You and I want the same things.

I was talking to someone and we got into a thing because he was absolutely sure that I don't like guns and that I was advocating for people who want to take his gun. Yeah. And I said, you're making assumptions about me because I advocate for gun control. But I go, you advocate for gun control. I said, why do you have guns? Why is it important to you? He said, look, you live in a different community than I do.

I live in a rural community. If something goes down, I have no reasonable expectation of anyone coming to help me for 15, 20, 30 minutes. I want to feel safe in my home, safe in my property, safe in my community that I can protect myself and the people I care about. And this is a tool that helps me do that. myself and the people I care about. And this is a tool that helps me do that. And I've never fired it at anything, at any living thing, but it gives me security and it gives me comfort and I can feel safe. And I go, I totally get that. I want the exact same thing that you want. I want in my community where you live, these things are a useful tool. Where I live, there's many, many, many more people. And the more of these that are live, there's many, many, many more people.

And the more of these that are around, there's more and more probability that somebody is going to use it nefariously or accidentally. So in my community, the more controls on this, the safer I get to be in my home, in my house, in my community. But we want the same thing. I don't want to take your gun, but I want to make sure that the people around you are as responsible and as, you know, as together as you. I don't want someone with mental health issues. I don't want someone with a domestic abuse problem. And neither do you. Yeah. And if you're going to have, I don't believe that citizens should have military grade weapons, but if you're going to qualify for it, take a course, get a license, make sure that no one else can use this gun,

get a, get a lock, get a thing, get a book and leave them at home. Right. And, right. And, and you don't want people walking around with that weapon concealed at a carry with no permit. Right. Yeah. I mean, and they're like, that's not going to make you feel safe. No. And when you talk like that, they go, no, I don't want that. And I go, okay, so if you and I can have this conversation, we understand we want the same thing. We want to feel safe in our homes and our property and our community. You and your way, me and mine. Why can't we elect representatives that can have the exact same conversation we're having

and understand that there's going to be different answers for different communities and provide for it. And we walk away going, yeah. And I go, but what was that that? It started, if you looked at it initially, he's yelling at me. He's angry at me. He's not angry at me. He's afraid I'm going to do something. And I'm afraid he's going to do something.

He's afraid I'm going to take away his gun. I'm afraid he's a to do something. He's afraid I'm going to take away his gun. I'm afraid he's a nut with a gun. Yeah. And so that's, I guess, my thing I would offer to everybody is I don't think we're as divided as people profiting from our division would like us to believe. you hit the nail on the head there because the reason that guy thinks that somebody like you wants to take his gun is because there are people that sell guns that tell him that anybody that says they want to control which means how about we don't have 100 round magazines how about we don't or the chris rock solution yeah i have a hundred magazine but it's a thousand dollars a book yeah or just you know any kind of control any kind of any kind of like as it is said common sense yeah red you know it there are people that are paid who make money off of that guy thinking that

a red flag law means you're gonna come into my house and steal my guns yeah no and it's not uh it's not it's not joe biden telling him that you know uh so i don't know that's that's just i mean you're right because yes the person with the gun and the person without the gun there is a middle ground but there's a lot of chicanery, a lot of money, a lot of, you know, I mean, because I mean, I have done a lot of in the open public space talking about common sense gun control. Still do. Done fundraising and stuff. I actually had to pull back for a while because. It got dicey.

Yeah, it got weird. People, you know know weird stuff happening yeah um but i still always feel like on the one side with guns there's a lot of money and on the other side with guns who's gonna make money off of not having not having like you know what i mean like well that would be great if we could make not having it i know yeah because it's the same thing you know we we went to the micro of guns but social media yeah they're getting paid to make us scream it yeah yeah yeah and that's why i you know i'm i'm i mean i'm still on the social media i've had, but I got onto this new one that its whole mandate is you can't yell, you can't scream, you can't be nasty.

If you are, you're not here. And let me just tell you, I am so happy. Oh, really? I'm so happy. Which one is it? It's called Spoutable. Okay. It's not even an app yet.

It's a website, spoutable.com. And it's not huge. I mean, I think there's 7,000-ish people who are aware of me there. Yeah, yeah. But so far, its mandate is crystal clear, and its execution of that mandate is very, very good. And people just treat each other with respect and decency on it. So it doesn't mean there aren't opinions or differences of opinions, but they are, they're

really decent. And I'm enjoying that experience. Well, that's good. Well, I've kept you long enough. Pancakes. Let's go. Yeah, let's go get some pancakes. But before we go, I want to once again say, listen to your new podcast, Really No Really, with you and Peter Tilden.

It is on iHeartRadio. But you can get it wherever. Wherever you get your podcasts. Wherever you get podcasts. Don't get them on the street, though. You can't trust the quality of street podcasts. No, no, no. Yeah.

You don't know. It could be a bad trip. And piracy is a crime. Yes. Well, thank No, no. Yeah, you don't know. It could be a bad trip. And piracy is a crime. Yes. Well, thank you, Jason. Thank you, Andy. And thank all of you out there for listening

and I'll be back next week. Bye-bye. The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco production. It is produced by Sean Doherty and engineered by Rob Schulte. Additional engineering support by Eduardouardo perez and joanna samuel executive produced by joanna solitaroff

adam sacks and jeff ross talent booking by paula davis gina batista and maddie ogden research by alissa grahl don't forget to rate and review and subscribe to the three questions with Andy Richter, wherever you get your podcasts. Can't you tell my loves are growing? Can't you feel it ain't a showing? Oh, you must be a-knowing. I've got a big, big love. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.