The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Jenny Slate

Episode Date: December 8, 2020

Actress and comedian Jenny Slate talks with Andy Richter about cohabitating during the pandemic, learning to manage anxiety with the help of psychedelics, and the acting roles that she likes herself best in.

Hey everybody, it's me, Andy Richter, and you've once again tuned in to the three questions. I was like, do you tune in? I guess you tune in. You click on yeah well anyway jenny slates here um who's one of my uh favorite energies in the universe wow yeah no um well you are you you have an infectious kind of i have an infection yeah well it's yeah you're a good oozer yeah you know yeah an oozer a boozer and a loser why did i interrupt getting a compliment when i really today is one of those days i really would i really need one i wish i hadn't interrupted oh i'm gonna i'm gonna blow so much smoke up your ass you got hands in there yeah yeah yeah uh no you are you have and i mean i'm sure that you have um well i just i'm sure you have your down days but you are you are in

you have an infectious energy when to be around you you have a uh a wonderful sort of joie de vivre oh that's so nice to hear that's so nice to hear and you know what i do have my down days of course um and but like they're yeah it's sort of um they never stop the other thing i guess that goes on with me but i have my down days and they're big downs yeah yeah they go far down yeah like uh main thing i wanted to ask is what are we gonna do about the world jenny yeah what are we gonna do about the world thank goodness this is the this is the morning i woke up and i finally figured it out wow good timing on my part yeah yeah totally i know i know yeah handled it i think it starts with throwing all the computers into the sea,

but we have to do the podcast first, which takes computers. This is the culmination of civilization right here. Yeah, this is it. Yeah, no, it's just, it's crazy times. How has your pandemic been? But how has your pandemic been? My pandemic has been, I think, probably better than most. And I think it's like, you know, like I was able to get out of the city.

And I lived for most of this pandemic in my house in Massachusetts where I live with my fiance. And we were just like far away from people. Yeah. So we weren't as scared as we are in Los Angeles of, of getting COVID and nobody in my family got COVID, which is really nice because also my grandmothers are like very, very, very old.

And I was like, Oh, I think this is going to be what that is. And it really, really bummed me out, but so far they're okay. But I have not been a productive person. Yeah. You know, at all.

I think that that is a common malady in this time. And somebody put it so lovely. They said, this is when you're taking in information. This isn't when you're making works. You know, it's kind of like, Which is like, okay, I guess that sounds pretty good, but I feel awful lazy. Yeah. I mean, I've been reading a lot and I've made some really cool discoveries in terms of... I was like, oh, I really care about my vocabulary and I'm not sure that it's as good as i want it to be and um

i've been reading a lot of novels in translation and that helps one's vocabulary a lot i think um and that's been really nice but yeah i've been on the intake side and i basically have like nothing to say um like i try to write i'm like trying to write a new book. And, and I, I think I said this before in another interview and I always get scared when I like repeat myself that people think I'm just like a shithead. But it is important to say to me that like my journal is very boring. It's like very tedious. It's just like,

I miss restaurants. i miss my friends yes oh poor you yeah i'm not like uh yeah i don't yeah i don't know but um yeah you're trapped you're trapped with the fiance so the love is still fresh yeah you know that's nice that's really nice like i love my fiance's name is ben i love spending time with him he's an artist right yeah he's an artist and a writer um and he writes uh beautiful short stories and um and i am genuinely impressed by him. Yeah. Oh, wow. That's helpful. Yeah. I re it's like, so I, um, and I mean, my biggest fear is of course that like people just don't

want to be around me as much as I want to be around them. Um, but it seems like he has also enjoyed being around me for this entire time. Yeah. Yeah. This is definitely tests the whole, can you be in each other's space? I like that, just that very basic thing. Because also you can be with someone for years and years and years and not really have to do this in a serial way like this. Like you go on vacation, all right, we had to spend a week together, but that was nice.

But now it's like, oh, there's no getting away from, you know, from this. And, you know, you can like be in some like live with someone and function in a space with them without being like really with them, you know, like you're kind of doing your own thing. And right. Right. you know, like you're kind of doing your own thing. And, um, I really, I mean, I don't know, it's like really hard to not use rude words about myself, but, um, I really cling. I like, I, I, especially after getting divorced, I was like, okay, well, like there's no point in being with

someone if I can't like lie directly on top of them all the time. I don't really understand. directly on top of them all the time. I don't really understand. Like I own a home. I like my house. I like all my stuff. I can be by myself. I'm not becoming like a weird grump, but I just was like looking back on my life being like, I made so many weird compromises just to be involved with other people that at this point, I really don't care to do it unless I can really like totally do it. I just want to do it all the way. And, and so it, it sounds like, what is, what do they call it? When he like munch? No, what is it? Munchausen? Yeah, by proxy. Well, that's when you, that's when you fake someone else's trauma to get attention. Like, my child is sick.

Right. And Munchausen. Okay. So it's not that. That's not what I mean. I mean, yeah. Like, I don't want. That's the by proxy.

So maybe there is a Munchausen. I think, right. Munchausen is like, is you maybe think that you just fake that you're sick or something. By proxy is like the sixth sense when the mother like puts you know detergent in her daughter's soup or whatever yeah um not to spoil that but um i feel like we're out of the out of the zone where people are kind of waiting to hear what happened at the end of that videotape that he that hayley joel osment found 20 years ago in a movie um but but like when the pandemic hit one of the more shameful thoughts that i think i had about ben was like now we're alone like now we're alone and it's just me and you and like we

have to just be totally alone together and um it nice. Oh, because I'm afraid you're saying it like the way a spider would say to a fly. Yeah. We're alone. Now we're alone. Now I can consume you. Yeah, totally. But I don't think, and he also weirdly was actually very productive so i don't think i was like an impediment um but yeah our functional uh like hiding away together was a big a big plus a big big plus yeah it's yeah it's probably like well i mean it all depends on the health of a relationship but i imagine it could be in you guys's situation a very galvanizing kind of, you know, this might end up being, you know, because you got the opportunity to do this, it might really set you off on the right path. And, you know, and you kind of did all those little micro adjustments that you need to do to live with somebody for a long time. You got them out of the way pretty quick. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. I mean, we're,

we got engaged after about 10 months. Um, so that's really quick. I think, um, a little, yeah, I would say it's quick, but although, although. Although when you've been married before, I think that's kind of like all the rules change. I think so, too. Yeah. And I also will say, like, you know, when he and I started dating, like, not in a weird, obsessive way or like, oh, no, I'm just, I'm, like, losing control. You know, I'm caught up in passion or something. Like two weeks into our relationship, I remember being saying to my friends, like, if this man asked me to marry him today, I really would. I would I would get married to him.

So I don't know. It is a sort of cheesy thing to say. but yeah, he's always just like kind of really been in there for me. That's great. Yeah. Congratulations. Thank you. And, you know, you better not fuck it up. I hope not. You know, I think that all the time.

I'm like constantly afraid that I'm going to become odious. Yes. And annoying. Everything. I'm so tired of yin and yang, of the balance of like afraid you're being too much, but then like realizing like, no, I got to chill out. Like I got to relax, you know, like I got to work real hard at relaxing and just being myself, but not try, you know, like it's all such a balancing act to just not be a pain in the ass. Yeah, just be yourself. That's probably what Buddhism is mostly about, not being a pain in the ass. Sure. And not giving yourself pains in the ass. Yeah, just be yourself. That's probably what Buddhism is mostly about,

not being a pain in the ass. Sure, and not giving yourself pains in the ass. Or when you have them, be like, the pain is here in my ass right now, but one day it will pass. Everything changes. Nothing is permanent. Even this pain in my ass changes.

Oh, Heavenly Father, this pain in my ass. The clinging that causes the suffering. It's the wanting it to change. Now, when you say cling, do you mean just physically or do you mean also like emotionally consuming kind of clinging? I think, like for me, I just got into this thing in my adulthood where, yeah, it's an emotional clinging where I'm like, I just want to know everything that's going on with you. Just like tell me every everything. Tell me everything because I'm going to tell you everything. And and it's only recently that I've been like, oh, it's OK if someone doesn't.

Yeah. Have the ability even to tell you everything. Yeah, or just doesn't want to. Yeah, like they don't have to. It doesn't mean there's something bad. Yeah, yeah. But I've always believed kind of until now that if a man doesn't have something to tell you or reveal to you that it must mean something bad.

But that's really not the case. Now, if when you were in the past, when you were requesting all this information, if you got something you didn't want to hear, didn't like hearing, how was the reaction? Were you like, okay, with like, okay, I guess that's one way you are. And I'm not crazy about it, but I'll let it go. Or was it like, what? I mean, I don't know. Looking back on like anything that's not in the last two years, I'm like, oh, I had no

idea what I was doing. I'm like, oh, oh, oh, I was like really drunk and on drugs, basically. Like I was like really, really stoned and I drank a lot. And I was like so frightened that my identity was going to collapse and be taken away. And so free of abandonment that I just like didn't act right ever. That's those. They were your Ziggy Stardust years. Yeah.

I guess so. Yeah. Yeah. All blur. Yeah. No. Well, get used to that because I think about every five years you're like, God damn, I was an asshole until right now.

Yeah, yeah. Actually, now, I mean, I'm kind of like, I just feel like I am more, well, it takes also the right person to be with. Yes. You know, like, just like my very best friend, her name is Quinn, and the way my therapist described her to me was that she was like you can trust Quinn all the way down to the bottom of her psyche you just like trust that she knows herself and even things that like you you guys are trying to work out together um you're just comfortable with it.

And I feel that way about my partner, Ben, as well. And, like, I just don't think I've ever felt that way before about anyone. And it allows me to be, like, just more careful with people. I think I'm just way more careful. And I'm really, I've i've like lost the knack for combat like i just i have no like elasticity there at all and um one thing i noticed that i like is that like even if he and i have a disagreement, what I'm realizing now that's different about me that wasn't there two years ago is that when he's like,

this happened and the way I perceive it is that you did this, is that like, I'm able to be like, Oh, I think I probably did do that. And Oh no, he probably feels like really, you know,

like I wasn't considerate. Like I'm, I am able to cross the line into his world that's new wow yeah that makes you a fully functioning adult i'm not just like that's bullshit you're rude get out now you are a middle child. I don't know if you knew that. Well, now I do. Siblings on either side. Yeah.

Do you kind of have that classic sort of placating, you know, mediator, middle kid? You know, kind of looking for attention, but, you know. Definitely looking for attention. But my older and younger sisters are both really mild. They're like mild and I'm wild. That's what it's always been. So it's more like they're coming in from the side to be like the bread that sops up like a really weird, drippy, spicy meat. Yeah, yeah.

You're the chorizo. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You're the chorizo. Yeah. Yeah, but I do think I do think I like there to be peace. I'm not like afraid of conflict, but yeah, I guess I I'm really good at sharing because of

being in the middle. That's good. Yeah. That's like a very I feel like sharing just sharing just like that's good. Yeah. That's like a very, I feel like sharing, just sharing, just like the basic concept of sharing that we learn as children is super forgotten. You know what I mean?

Like, it's just, there's so many basic things that are just like, well, what about sharing, you know, homelessness or, you know, medical care and billionaires with giant boats. What about sharing, you know, not that you share the boat, but, you know,

share a little bit of what got you the boat. You don't have to share your boat, but you can, if you have a boat, I'm sure you have other things. Like one of the whole things that I thought i felt during this election is like well okay i guess like mike bloomberg gave up gave whatever 100 million dollars to the effort to get voters out for biden in florida but it's like i don't know where are the other guys they all have so much money yeah what the hell like what do you need it for like why I don't get it. How much money does Jeff Bezos need to keep? How many descendants is he trying to make sure?

The earth will be dead by the time those people all spend his fortune. It has to be like, I don't know. There's just like a switch that flips in your head or something where it just doesn't. Because you can't conceive of you know like if i had i mean you know like if you have 10 million dollars and someone comes and takes 5 million away you could still have a really nice life that's right that's 5 million dollars and you add like 15 zeros onto that. And that's these guys.

And they fight for every little thing, like the way they fight against unions. And it's like they're not going to ever go bankrupt. But I don't know. Maybe that's just not even part of it. I think when you are kind of presented with a truly limitless horizon, especially like with money and well, you get that amount of money and you can literally do anything. And I think that that just becomes like just such a seductive thing that the ability to do anything must really matter. And so you feel like you have to protect that all the time. I don't know. I'm just guessing because it seems like too, just like, I don't know. I just don't

like, I don't like meetings. No, I don't like meetings. It's too much. Like imagine how much, how much your day would be taken up with like, Oh, just all that. Like, how are we going to get all these bananas to the university that ordered all the bananas or whatever? It's like so boring. And I, what I am so concerned with or what I'm fascinated by is I'm like, don't you just want to rest? Like I, I want to do my work. I'd be really sad if like, I couldn't do standup or write books or make movies or whatever. I don't, but that to me is like, that's like living, breathing.

That's like life stuff. You know, it's, it's what, what keeps my, my light on inside. But like, I also really want to rest and like i'm very glad that the kind of like yearning part of my career that i really used to have i yearn i yearn for this i yearn for this like validation or attention or like you know to be as good as someone else whatever that that has died down and like when i look at someone like like bezos is kind of one thing but then it's like mitch mcconnell you are old like yeah do you need to be so stressed just like go to bed like rest yeah you know like i understand you really have

this like dark agenda that you need to just like fucking do infinity. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But like, don't you want to rest? Don't you just want to take a vacation with somebody who thinks you're nice? Even pure evil needs to rest.

Yeah. Don't you just want to like get a, take a rest and not like a gross Epstein vacation or whatever. Right. Don't you just want to use your money to like buy a house somewhere and on like Tybee Island off of Savannah and just like. I know he doesn't. I know he's not from Georgia, but I'm just like trying to think of a southern paradise. It's close enough.

Whatever. Yeah. There's no islands in Kentucky. No. Unfortunately. No. No, I. Yeah, I, I, um, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm with you. I, the whole point of doing well is so that you have to do less, right? I think so. I mean,

we're all gonna, I'm not a, I literally never think about like death dying, but I do understand this is my one life. Yeah. And like like i would like to get to a point where um i'm just like chilling out really hard yeah i i don't like that that's like what i'm hoping for yeah yeah you know like when i'm old i can just like be with ben and we can have really nice gardens and stuff right exactly you know. You know, that's, yeah. My whole future is just like, yeah, a nice place to cook. Yeah. You know, people to eat the food.

That's right. Now you had to, I'm going to skip, I'm skipping around here, but this just occurs to me because you mentioned like the yearning phase. I saw you at a couple of things when you were kind of going through the Oscar grind. Oh, yeah. And I forget the name of the movie. For Obvious Child. For Obvious Child. Yeah. And I sat like at dinners that you were at, and it just seemed like you were being carted around from event to event to be kind of put on display. And yeah,

what's that like? Well, the first thing to be real about is that that's one's own decision. And that it's like, it's not like, um, I'm like Shirley temple and I belong to like Louis B. Mayer.

And he's like, you put on this metaphor and you show up here, you know? Yeah. Take your speed, fatty. Right, totally. Yeah. It's like I said, yes, I'll do this. Yeah.

And it's very hard, I think, to understand what ride you're getting on yeah did they did they give you an idea did they say like you're gonna be busy the next few months maybe that but like the fact is you like if you're one of these people like you know you get a dinner thrown for you by a magazine and you um you go to these parties that are like, this is sponsored by the blah, blah, blah. Like, I kind of remember being like, well, I'm not eating shit, because I don't even really care what this is. Like, I don't even know. It's just my publicist. She's just telling me to go to these things. And I'm just gonna go and like, you know, drink champagne, which I wouldn't ever have

in my own home. And I'm gonna like sneak out and smoke cigarettes with like the kid from boyhood or whatever. And like, you know, I'm, I don't, you know, I'm, I'm outside of this or whatever, which is, um, which was a way for me to feel like I hadn't like totally, um, messed myself up in a way. But the fact was that underneath it all is like this drive to a drive that's different than like i want to get into college i uh you know like i i want to uh elevate myself it's just like status elevation and it um it's not that it's bad you know and it's not that like if I were in a film that got critical acclaim that way, again, that I wouldn't maybe do some of that stuff,

but that I was completely blind to the way that it sapped me and made me feel embarrassed, like really hurt my life. And I, yeah. And I like, I'm always embarrassed when something is happening and we all know it and no one's calling it out. Yeah. I think that is like pretty, um,

dirty. Yeah. And, um, I think if I were ever to kind of be on one of those runs again, I would have to call it out and i would have to try to like figure out how to do it i just don't know if there's a way it just especially now the way that the world has changed is there really a way to like campaign for a golden globe i know

you know what i mean they'll figure it out. Oh, sure. They will figure it out. And that's what the other thing, too, is that it truly is, in many ways, an attendant industry. It's like an accessory industry next to show business. Yeah. And that there's so much of – I always think sometimes don't do i don't do a hell of a lot anymore i mean i've been over on conan island for a million years and nobody gives a shit about me anymore which is like thank god um but you know i you go to do things and there's the red carpet and you have to talk to 12 different outlets and they would

often just have non-sequitur stuff that i was supposed to give funny answers to yeah and i realized like i'm just creating content for this big insatiable creature that's called publicity and you can't ever like really know where the fuck this shit goes. Like, who's going to ever see my answer, my funny answer to, you know, what, you know, they should have done on three men and a baby or whatever, you know, just, I mean, I care, but that is the thing. I mean, I think you get the, like, I have definitely many times over gotten the sense it's like this is just a flurry of garbage like yeah this is landing nowhere what you know you you

fooled me or like convinced me the first time that i have to sit in this hotel room and do literally like 17 phone interviews you know to pump this um stuff out so that people can see your film. But like the fact is just a lot of it goes nowhere. And but then the other side of it for me is I really like being interviewed and I really like talking. And when I like the film that I'm in, I like talking about it. And it's like it's a real like intellectual turn on for me. So sometimes I'm just like, well, whatever. If they're taking like, I'm taking two.

And it's, I like it. But I think where you run into a problem is when you're like, you don't like the work you've done. Or you don't like the people you've worked with. And they're like, what was it like to work with so-and-so? And in your head, you're like, that actor called me jamie the whole time he had no idea who i was i didn't like it you know and you have to just be like what a cast that's gotta be will ferrell it's gotta be will ferrell the nicest man in the world i know i know that's oh geez uh yeah And I don't mean to be a dick about it because I certainly am one to really, really loudly proclaim how lucky we are to get to do this for a living. And how, like, compared to real work, this is a dream.

Yes. But eventually your life becomes your life. real work. This is a dream. Yes. But eventually your life becomes your life, you know, regardless of whether you're on, you know, cotton candy mountain or whether you're in a coal mine, you know? But so, but there is like a certain point of it that just, that you as an individual, there's just part of it that just is, it's just no fun and then and the fun part is the making of the thing then and yeah i know there's a price for to have to be paid for the fun part the yin and yang again like if you're gonna have fun there's a price to be paid and the price is like okay it's lots of little things it's waiting 10 hours on a movie set in your trailer and then

being told we're actually not going to use you today. Yeah. Like that, that's like, okay, that's, that sucks, but I'm getting paid.

But it like doesn't suck that much. It does, you know, like it doesn't suck as much as like, like, I don't know, like how mean my boss was to me when I worked in this, like one bakery,

you know? And like, and that, like, I just like the trash bags always broke. And I got like trash juice all over my feet because I wore flip-flops as shoes. I was disgusting. Um, you know, well flip-flops as shoes, it's like a really big problem that I have. Uh, I mean, I don't have that problem anymore. I wear shoes, but I don't like when people wear flip-flops as shoes and

whatever. But, um, but you know what it is, is like, just, is like just i think i think um we give up or we we become not creative and it's just like you know it's that terrible thing sometimes that people say to um celebrities like that they're like well if you didn't want this like well you you you became famous so like you know we can take a picture of you up your skirt or whatever. Right, right. As if that bargain was ever made or real. And actually, I think there are totally unique and creative and real ways to be like, no, this is how I do it. And I like the perks.

And I like this and that. But I found out I don't like going on this talk show. And I don't like spending my days like this and that but I found out like I don't like going on this talk show and I don't like um I don't like spending my days like this and I'm just like not gonna do it but yeah when I first and and that's okay and there are like tons of people like um I don't know a good example seems to me like Frances McDormand who's like she's like found her people to work with she always does good work she doesn't give a shit about what you think but she shows up to the oscars and you know she's like doing it all but she has clearly figured out how to not make a compromise so that like her face isn't filled

with poison yeah and she's not like eating shit for patriarchy and and we're all kind of afraid of her and in awe of her and we should be. And that's like what I hope to do in, in my own way. Because it is like, there are lots of fun things about being in the public eye, but you can't just like let it run on autopilot. And,

and to, you know, go back to your question, I think that I let everything run on autopilot when I first kind of like got put out into the race or whatever. Yeah, yeah. You're from Massachusetts. Yes. Correct?

Correct. Milton, is that it? I'm from Milton, Mass. And what is Milton like? It's just filled with wild boar. It's a nightmare. It's just every night we just lock up the houses and we say, oh, goodness, I hope they don't ram our houses with their little tusks. ram our houses with their little tusks.

It's a little town six miles south of Boston that is, like, just pretty normal. Normal, kind of suburban. It's kind of suburban, but it doesn't really have the, like, cul-de-sac vibe that suburban America really, like, it's not like McMansions. It's a lot of old houses. Yeah, I think it would be an old suburb. Yeah, it's an old suburb. And then like a patchwork of sort of like, you know, ranch houses and like, like really like middle class homes built in the 80s.

Yeah. And it doesn't have like a mall in it or anything like that it has old churches and some old cemeteries and um yeah it's just like an old little town with a local supermarket but it like i don't know it was it it's always like been missing its heart because um they put a highway through the center of east milton square where like all the shops are oh really yeah so i would imagine like it really could have been you know kind of like a town from a model train yeah yeah yeah um and it just got kind of like you know in um roger rabbit where like christopher lloyd is like oh freeway yeahway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I'm from Toontown. And they're on it. Oh, Toontown, Massachusetts. Yeah, I'm from Toontown, Mass. But now I don't live there because I haven't lived there for a long time. That's where my parents live or live. And they're still there. They're still there now?

They sold our family home last year year so they did yeah we don't nobody lives there anymore is it was that hard yeah it was really sad but it's also like i don't know like we're adults i don't know like i i think yes of course it's sad but um but kind of like put that in perspective. It's like, well, we got to live there for a long time. Like my sisters and I don't live there. My parents want to move. They should. And your parents are human beings who deserve their own life

and not to be just custodian of your memories. Yeah, that's right. But I think like it is sad. It's a very, very old house. The house we grew up in was like over 100 years old. And the people who bought it are apparently knocking it down to make a 120 unit like condo thing. Oh. And that's just gross.

Yeah, yeah. It's a bummer. Yeah. I think it's really weird to, I think like, I mean, you know, not to be a bitch, but I think they're going to get cursed. It's like, okay, you want to knock down like a bitch, but I think they're going to get cursed. It's like, okay, you want to knock down like a really old haunted house. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, good luck. But like the slate curse. Yeah. We're going to get you. Plus all the other ghosts that lived in there, they're going to get you too.

And I really, I like get so kind of freaked out thinking that I'm like, I hope they take all the doorknobs off and stuff. I hope they like save the old windows and like make it kind of be naked and then do it but but like the house you can see it in my netflix special it has these like beautiful staircases yeah i'm like you're gonna knock you're gonna like knock down the stairs that's crazy what's that gonna be like on that day that there's gonna be like a wrecking ball going through like the closets and stuff and like all the pipes like are like what the hell

you know well they'll take a lot they usually strip old houses like of copper yeah they'll strip all the copper and they'll and even now there's some they'll take wood. If there's, like, hardwood, like, pretty hardwood stairs, that your hardwood stairs might live somewhere else. Right. You know, like, they might end up in somebody else's, you know, McMansion. Yeah. We have, like, where Ben and I live, we have, yeah, we have lots of like salvage stuff from other people's places. Yeah. We're very sweet to it.

No, I think it's great. I think it's great to do that. I love that when they, you know, use old wood and do it. Like there's a show called Barnwood Builders. Have you ever watched that? No, I haven't, but I'm going to have to watch it now. Yeah, yeah. And I think that's the one it's...

Yeah, I think that's... Because they're in West Virginia, and they just preserve old log cabins and then rebuild them and repurpose the logs. They take them apart and number them all and then re-put them together and make a new house out of them. So that's, and it's, I don't know, that's like one of my, you know, video Librium things that I just put on because they often are on marathons and it's just like two hours of zoning

out. Just numbering logs. Yeah, yeah. Get a number on that log and take it to someone who will appreciate it. Yeah. Can't you tell my loves are growing? You said that you were the wild child among two mild childs. Were you treated, I mean, did you feel that way growing up? Did you feel like there's this house of normal people and then there's me? I mean, I was always getting in trouble. And, but I did think, I actually think my older sister was more of an outsider, weirdly, because she was good at sports.

Oh. And like, and. And no one else was. Right. Like my parents were both, my mom's a potter and my dad is a poet. And my older sister is like really good at sports. Well,

both of my sisters are good at sports, but Abby, my older sister was like, that was like her thing. But you know, I definitely always had a feeling like my energy is too much, too much. And not pleasing.

Not that's the message you were given or that's. You don't know. I mean, it's so hard to talk about it because like then you end up like insulting your parents, you know, basically like or accusing them of something. But and I think a lot about this now, but like how much of a parent's stress is good for a kid to see maybe they can see the stress but if they're told that they are the cause of it um you know like that's i think that's kind of damaging and when i um i don't think it's anyone's fault or like, I'm not sure. I'm not sure like that my mom, for example, would know that that's how I received that message. Right. Um, but you know,

yeah, I think I, I always felt like I have to find a way to show my parents and the world that what I truly can't control about myself and I can't change this huge energy is like, not only is it not bad, but it's useful and it's not mean. Like, I just always felt like I was stressing my mom out so much. And that would mean that I guess that i was bad or selfish you know or like a um siphoning off and and so yeah but but none of my sisters or i ever got in like trouble like drinking or you know like boys or anything being bad with boys we were never bad we were never like bad we're really good with boys yeah yeah or just didn't know any and they didn't like me way to go milton yeah males of milton um so well uh you were you were a valedictorian right you were a very good student.

Yeah, I was, but it was, um, I mean, everybody at Milton was at my school, which was a private school. Everybody was good at school. Um, but the valedictorian was a voted position. Oh, so it wasn't GPA. No, it wasn't. And that's not really valedictorian. No, it's not. And you know what? It's like, it's only now that I'm like, I don't give a shit if you think like I'm smart or not. I know I am. But like before, like when I was like 21 or whatever, and you just think nobody takes you seriously. It's like very important that you were the valedictorian and you don't reveal that it was voted. That's your little secret that keeps you up at night yeah yeah that's right or you're just like whatever i earned it um like there's a little bit of being ruthless but now yeah now it's like funny to me that i got that because um in my memory i feel like i guilted everyone into giving it to me

but that can't be true did you campaign for it yeah you had to like give a speech and say like this is why i should be the valedictorian and you think in that speech you you harangued people this is what i think happened this is what i think happened but okay i mean i'm not really like in touch with anyone from high school for them to confirm it and sometimes i wonder like i talk about high school quite a bit and i'm like i wonder what everyone thinks um but anyway open your dms and they'll let you know yeah i cannot never i never look at my dms but anyway uh, I had been the class president for four, for, for three years, then going into senior year, you could run to be the school president

called the head monitor, or you could also be, then we also had a class president. So I ran for the head monitor, which like I felt that I earned because I had been on the student government for, you know, this whole time. Years of service. Years of service, you know? And, and then this just like kind of more honestly cooler, like cooler person who was more interesting, who had never expressed an interest in student government won the thing.

And like, I remember she juggled. She was like, whoa, you know, and she juggled. And like, I was like a dork who like took it really seriously. And my speech was like, and we can have different soda machines. You know, like it was just like not cool. And she won. And then, so then I ran for the class president, which I got, but like,

it was kind of like, everyone was like, Oh, that was Jenny. Gus, she got stung, you know, when the other girl won.

And so then when I gave my valedictorian speech, like, I mean, I haven't, or my, when I gave the speech to try to get the thing to be the valedictorian, my memory of it is that I'm like, I need this!

And you know it! There's no way I said that. But that I'm like, this would mean everything to me! And it's just like a dork by herself being like, I know you all have fun stuff to do. I have nothing. And you know this thing got ripped away from me.

How dare you yeah uh yeah i i had they had i don't know if i i just talked about this recently but i don't know if it was on here but that when i was i think it was my senior year they had a uh mayor for the day which you got out of school and and I think other people ran for different, you know, I don't know, whatever, whatever it is like, you know, sheriff, I guess is one of the other ones. But you got out of school and sort of got to, you know, go hang out with the mayor and the city council, which was, I think, three people. And I was running against, and I was like kind of a good boy and kind of like one of the

jocks but got along with everybody and i ran against a guy that was kind of like because in our school it was jocks and burnouts like basically like 40 people and kids that smoke dope you know and had muscle cars and things like that and i was running against a really like a guy that was kind of more on the burnout side, but really like a fun guy. Everybody loved this guy. And somebody told me on the day of the election that they had seen his friend's ballot box stuffing, like, you know, like checking his name on tan and shoving him in. Yeah.

And so and I was like, I name like on tan and shoving him in yeah and so and i was like i was like oh because he won uh-huh i was like oh they were cheating i really wanted to get out of school for the day so i went to the principal and and ratted him out said people i heard from friends of mine i didn't see it but that they were there was uh cheating on the ballot boxes and the president or the principal went like if there was cheating you the ballot boxes. And the principal went like, if there was cheating, you won, he said, because he only won by a couple of votes. And then they counted it up, and there were like 80 more votes than there were kids in the school.

Oh, my gosh. They did. They did cheat. They did. They did. So then they had another one like the day after, and the guy murdered me. Oh, no. All the other kids were like

were like no one gave a shit until it was like look there was some cheating and then all his friends were like fuck that he won already oh my god i got to feel like a narc and a loser Oh, my God. And just for one day. Just for one day to go, like, get your picture in the Kendall County record. And to go, like, hang out with adults, I would imagine. Like, it's not like you're, like, you get to go out to lunch with, like, your favorite teacher or something. You go to City Hall and probably sit around drinking instant coffee. That's so funny.

Because also, you probably could have just cut school. me no i never would have i would have been a nervous fucking wreck i would have been just like petrified i don't get how i i never understood how like in my school like when kids would sneak off to smoke cigarettes i'd be like yeah i can't believe and then of course like once i got to college i cut more class than like anyone has ever cut ever, ever, ever. But it was different. Nobody cared. You went to Columbia, right? Mm hmm. And why Columbia? Just were you there for a particular like did you have something in mind that you were going to do a career track?

I always wanted to be an actor. Yeah, I always wanted to be. I like I also knew nothing about like the entertainment industry and was like, I didn't know, like you're either this or you're that or whatever. I was like, I want to be on Saturday night live. And then I want to be like,

you know, a movie actor. And I just, but I also, I was like, I liked like a rigorous academic thing. And I was really competitive academically. And I wanted to go to Columbia because I wanted to go to an Ivy League school.

And I wanted to be in New York because I thought New York was the best place in the world. And Milton's a small place. And I was like, I just want to go to New York and meet Barbara Streisand or whatever. I had no idea what was going on. Eat pizza all day. Yeah, just that New York pepperoni. And so I just like, I just fell in love with Columbia. It has a beautiful campus and it felt important.

And I felt like, yeah, like this is how I just open a door for myself is get an education. And my my grandmother paid for me to go there. Oh, wow. Mm hmm. And job, Grandma. Yeah. Yeah. She she and my grandfather, like.

Because I think in my school, there were a lot of kids trying to go to Ivy schools and um my grandparents were like so encouraging they were they yeah they were really encouraging that and my parents were like you can be an actor but you've got to get an education so yeah i went to columbia and i was an english and comparative lit major and i loved it and the reason why i skipped class was because like the classes other than the core curriculum were like you read the book you go and the professor talks about the book. And sometimes the professor was like, in my opinion, like a gross old dude. And I was like, I don't really want to hear you talk about Don DeLillo or whatever. Like I can figure it out myself.

And then, yeah, like I would just like get really stoned and write essays about the you know like write the paper it's fun yeah were you penalized for your absences like do they care at columbia if you went to no they don't care yeah i didn't like i never the only class i like did poorly in which i feel oh no I talked about it on uh Seth Meyers's show was that I took um I took astronomy because I signed up for it so stoned and thought it was astrology which obviously would never be offered at Columbia and then it was like all math and I I'm I don't care for math I don't really whatever and yeah I fucked up there big time oh boy yeah big time yeah that would suck. Yeah, but like when your classes are reading books and writing about them

and then taking an exam to check that you read the book. Like, I always read the books. Yeah. I like them. Yeah, I was the same way I am. Oh, no, I mean, I should say I was the opposite way in that I would go to class and wouldn't read the book. That's pointless.

No, it actually will be not it. Well, I mean, if it was an English class, I would read the book or at least, you know, air quotes, read the book. Sure. You know, sort of like every five pages, kind of get a grasp of what's going on, the style of the writing. But I found for me, A, sitting and reading a book with my attention deficit is difficult. To this day, it's hard for me to read a book. And so I found it easier to go to class, listen to the lecture like that.

I can do, I can go to a class and listen to a lecture. There's human interaction. I'm getting the person who's going to give me the test. I'm getting their cold version of information from whatever the reading was. So I felt like, well, I kind of, you know, I have a better idea what's on the test than somebody that just read all the information. True. of, you know, I have a better idea what's on the test than somebody that just read all the information. And, you know, I got B's and I, you know, I did a lot of acid. So, you know, it all worked out. I really didn't do, I didn't do any acid in college and I regret that now sort of,

but I'm just reading the Michael Pollan book called How to Change Your Mind. Yeah. About psychedelics. And like recently someone asked me like, what do you want for a present for this? And I was like, I just want someone to put me in one of those psychedelic trials. Like I want a scientist to give me acid. Yes. I truly feel like I would benefit so much.

Because the way that I have taken acid in my adult life is like, you know, drinking it from a jug of someone's like homemade wine. Like the last time I took acid, I was like, and I haven't done it very many. I've eaten a lot of mushrooms, but only acid like two times. So when I say the last time, I only, I mean, just the second time, but I was at like a party and I was single. And I remember being like, I don't know if you've ever felt this feeling, but I remember being like, there are no options for me. Like nobody is interested in me. It was like, it's sort of like just before I started dating Ben. It was like the summer of 2018. And I was like, oh, there's like nothing here, man. Like, have I lost it? Like nobody's looking my way or nobody's single. And like, this is really, really, uh-oh, this is not fun like i thought it was gonna be fun

and it's not fun and um someone was like hey like derrick has a jug of like homemade wine that's like you know they put acid in like do you want some of that and i was like yeah why not whatever yeah sure it sounds like sounds like reliable dosage. So I like truly like glug from this mason jar and look around and I'm like, well, I love my friends that I came with, but like, also they're all seven years younger than me. And like, what am I doing? What am I doing? And now I just ingested this acid and I was like, Ooh, I better leave, I guess, and be alone, which is also an interesting move. And so I like Ubered back to my house. And by the time I was almost home, like the acid had just started to work a little bit. And what I remember was like, Oh, everything's so clear.

It's fine. Like nothing matters at all, because you're like part of something else, you know? And it wasn't like a very great thing. It was just, I probably didn't like drink enough, but it was just like little touches here and there and all the colors looked really good. And I just felt like someone had sort of like, if they had strained me through a sieve, all of the schmutz of myself and who I am just got put off to the side. And I was like, there's nothing wrong with me. Who cares? That's great. Yeah. It wasn't like a scary trip, but I would really like to do one of those like clinically run mushroom trials.

Yeah. People, I, everyone's always like microdosing, microdosing. And I, and I'm sure I'm one of like a zillion people that are like, that sounds pretty good. Yeah. Like, you know, for all the things you're describing, like, you know, lethargy and a general on we, and a feeling of malaise. And I'm like, yep. Check, check, check.

Yeah. Yeah. I'll take a little acid. Sure. Why not? I mean, the, the thing that holds me back in life is, check, check. Yeah. Yeah, I'll take a little acid. Sure, why not? I mean, the thing that holds me back in life is, you know, like I just, it is our control issues. Yeah. Control issues.

And, like, the reason why in the last, I don't know, like year and a half, I started to get, I mean, it can sound so douchey, but like get really serious about having like a real Buddhist practice and going to the Buddhist temple and reading like texts and really trying to just like, be like, well, if I think I'm this kind of person, like I actually do kind of think I'm like a gentle, open soul and I can stop, stop like fighting so much. I'm going to kind of try to get a religion about that because I'm an agnostic only cultural Jew. And I, you know, I don't believe in like a male God and, um, I don't go to synagogue or want to. And, um, and when I think about like supplementing my spiritual practice, I'm like, yeah yeah i would just like to like do the mushrooms and feel

that feeling that's just like you're a part of everything and you just don't need to keep trying to like contort and like like change things and force things and i know i feel better when i'm like oh i don't have to worry about this shit anymore. Yeah, yeah. Like, have you ever realized, have you ever been feeling really good and then realized like that the thing that you don't, that you are disagreeing with or you're at odds with is like, it's still happening, you know? And you're like, oh, I just, or like it still could potentially happen. You mean like your own shortcomings or you mean like a thing that you fear? A thing you fear.

A thing you fear happening. Yeah, like you're going to get cancer or your home is going to burst into flames or your partner will stop loving you. You know, like those fears could be there all the time. Sometimes I have these moments where I'm like, oh my gosh, it's not that the potential has become less for this disaster to occur. It's just that you're just not connected to it.

You stop thinking about it. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, Ben, one of the most interesting things that I think I've learned in the last couple of years is like, it's not your responsibility to

worry like that anymore, Jenny. It's like not, it's not doing anything. Yeah. It's not doing anything. I've mentioned this before as like, and it, I mean, I still kind of maintain it's not a bad thing to think, but like my, my ex-wife used to have terrible flight anxiety and you know and when we and we you know we used to travel a lot before we had kids and it was always a uh you know like it was always an issue and i you know and i would say to her and she was gracious about it i could see how she could just be like fuck you about. But I would say like your anxiety doesn't keep the plane in the air. Like, you know, if you can somehow, you know, like you can't necessarily control everything that goes on with your thoughts and your emotions, but you sure can try. Which is like, I get very frustrated with people

in my life, you know, like if it's with my kids or something where they're like, you know, like, I can't. And it's like, yeah, you can actually, you know. And even if you really, truly can't, you can try, you know, to not be a slave to just your own fucking flowing juices and what, you know, just like, it's something's wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, here's the thing is that, is that you, you, you can, I actually think like there is a way to like as they say, like sort of stop the trance, but only recently have I figured out how to do that like i'm like well what is like my anxiety asking for like what why what what alleviates it what alleviates it um and it it uh

for me i was able to finally say uh to ben like a few months ago what it feels like when i have really bad anxiety and i'm believing something like really bad and scary and what i need and like what makes it worse and um and it's just hard to figure out all that stuff and and i think also that uh sort of like weird anxiety makes a cycle where like you feel the anxiety and then you do a weird addictive behavior not like with drugs or drinking or something but like yeah addictive emotional behavior like for example you get anxious and then you start a certain type of fight you like characterize your partner as a certain type of person even if they're not really doing and that sort of thing and then they're like you're crazy or whatever and then you're like don't call me crazy and then the cycle sort of completes

in like this sort of spectacular explosion. And you've gotten, your neuroses has gotten what you wanted. Yeah, exactly. Like you've been validated that, you're gonna be misunderstood or mistreated. And at least for me, like that's usually my fear. I'm gonna be misunderstood and mistreated

and I'm gonna be abandoned. And my charm is gonna wear off. And I'm, and my, my charm is going to wear off. And like, this person is just going to be like, oh my God, you know, Jenny's basically like, she's like basically a farm animal. And I, I've purchased a farm animal, you know, like, oh God, you know, now she's just part of my chores or whatever, the maintenance of her. And, and that's the sad thing to feel about oneself but um i was able to say to ben like what it is is like when i'm i feel

so bad like this it's like someone put me in a dark shaft like it's shaft an elevator shaft and i just don't think anyone even knows i'm in here but if they did know I'm in here, they think I deserve it. And they're annoyed at me that I can't climb vertically out. And what I need you to do is like, stick your hand in from the side and say, I know you're in there. I'm out here. It's not a shame or a big deal that you're in there. And I love you so much. Just come, come out, come out and you'll come right into a hug. much just come come out come out and you'll come right into a hug and like that's so stupid sounding in a way but it's like it solves all my problems legitimately like i i uh i end up with no questions like if my if i'm in the shaft because i have like a trust issue and i'm afraid of something like of there being like an interloper

in our relationship or something, these these fears that I didn't used to have before I got divorced. But then now I have them. If I'm like greeted with gentleness, it just fixes it. That's all I need. But it's hard to figure out, like, well, what do you need to like not be afraid of the plane or not be afraid of the this or that? Like, sometimes the fears are just too fucking loud. Yeah. No, I know. I know.

I mean, and it's always easy for me as someone who's not particularly, I mean, that's not my thing. I don't have, like, anxiety and fear. I mean, yeah, I mean, I have anxiety and I have fear, but that's not, not like the thing that's, you know, for me, it's more sort of depressive withdrawal kind of things. for me to say, you know, I don't mean, you know, I'm like, and having kids now, like my son has been, you know, whenever my son had a freshman year at college in New York city, he went to Parsons for his freshman year and he like kids do freshman year. It's hard. You're away from home and you kind of come undone. And it was weird to be the voice on the other end of the phone on the phone call of like how miserable and how rudderless and how, you know, worried and how, you know, nothing seems, you know, like just where you're questioning everything so much that nothing's like dropping out of school doesn't seem right. Going to another school doesn't seem right. Coming home sounds off.

Like everything just sounds like shit. And it's interesting to be on the other end of that and have to kind of be like knowing like, Oh yeah, I've been a complete slave to all that fucking bullshit. Totally. And you know, it's normal too.

Like you just want to be like, Oh God, just, just go through it. That's not that. I mean, you can't totally say that. Like, like, cause that's, you know, just go through it. That's not that. I mean, you can't totally say that. Right.

Like, because that's, you know, just ride it out, kid. You know, that sounds like that. But then it's also, you don't want to say, like, be Pollyanna and say, like, everything's going to be fine, honey. Don't worry about it. Because it might not be. I can't lie to you and say 100% it's going to be fine. I'd say odds are, you know, and I always try and do say like, look at what you've done before. You did great.

Yeah. So why would you all of a sudden start not doing great? You know, like why would you all of a sudden be a different person? And like the success that you've enjoyed prior to this, all of a sudden that just is going to evaporate? That's crazy. It doesn't make sense. It's not, you know, it's not scientific or whatever, but it's, it's, it's hard to, to tell somebody who's in the middle of something that you've been in the throes of. okay it's all a lot of it's a lot of noise and it's a lot of static and it's a lot of you know a lot of legit pain at times but it's it's okay you know yeah and it doesn't mean to succumb to it you got to work at it but it's okay and the chances that he's like ultimately fucking up or something are just so low yeah you know like like unless he's like a bad person, which he isn't, I'm sure.

He's not. You know. Yeah, and that's the other caveat of parenting is like my kid, I feel like at a certain point, I can give him lots of elbow room because I trust him because there's been a pattern of trust and stuff. Yeah. And that's just, that's the way my kid is.

So that's, you know, like if I give parenting. And that's just, that's the way my kid is. So that's, you know, like if I give parenting advice, it's based on that. Whereas there are some people who their kids are like wild stallions. You can't, you can't stop them. And it's like,

I don't know what I do with that kind of kid. And I'm just lucky. What do you do if your kid is, is, is off the walls? I don't know. Yeah. Your parents did fine fine but i wasn't

but that that said like you know i went to college my freshman year i like got a belly button pierce and i started smoking cigarettes and you know was like i like dyed my hair and I tried to, I very, very lightly tested the boundaries. Yeah, yeah. And was a delightful stoner. I've never been a weirdo that barfing where I shouldn't barf or whatever. I've always barfed into the toilet. Right. Good for you.

That was on your resume. Yeah, yeah. Right into the toilet. Right. Good for you. That was on your resume. Yeah, yeah. Right into the toilet bowl. Well, I mean, you're obvious, you know, you are a sensitive person and, you know, there is anxiety in your life. And how does getting on Saturday, first of all, how does the desire to be on Saturday Night Live, and then the getting on Saturday Night Live when you're the, you know, when you're the sort of doe-eyed creature that you are going in the sitting? I mean, the desire is like so classic. You know, like my dad gave me that there was like an SNL. It must have been like the first 25 years or the first 30 years or something.

It was like a VHS set that they had. And like he got it and fast forwarded to all the like Gilda Radner stuff. And was like, you're like this, like you're, you're going to be like this lady. And I was like, Oh yeah, I actually do feel like that lady. And I enjoyed it so much and just was like oh yeah i actually do feel like that lady and um i enjoyed it so much and just became a like obsessed with snl just obsessed obsessed obsessed and um uh but never really went the traditional route to try to get there like i didn't go through ucb or

um second city or groundlings i i've always weirdly kind of done my own thing and not because i'm like so cool but um mostly because sometimes things just didn't seem very fun to me and because um like prescribed social stuff like the way that um ucb was like like it just felt like this community that you know you take the classes and da-da-da-da. I was just too intimidated by it. I didn't like that. But maybe also I've always believed in just like other doors that kind of descend from the universe. And I was just kind of doing my own thing.

And so that made it really, really exciting to get on SNL. And so that made it really, really exciting to get on SNL and that the, like, way that I got on just seemed like the way that I always imagined it would happen. Even that, like, I got to audition on the stage and stuff, which was really nice. Yeah. But then, you know, the rest of the experience, like, I really was not the right person for that job. I was not emotionally suited for it. And, yeah, like I just I just wasn't a match. And it it's like just wasn't good. It wasn't good.

But also like probably talk about like having an important hard thing happen like that was really devastating and embarrassing and um to mess up on the show to get fired and now it just doesn't feel like anything except for something i'm so grateful for uh yeah i'm so glad i didn't work there for a long time. Yeah. But yeah. Yeah. I could, I can completely see how that would be because on one hand it's the stalwart institution of comedy and that, you know, it's been so many talented people have come through there and it's had such an effect on our culture in so many ways. But then it also is kind of like, oh, yeah, it also chews people and spits them out. You know, chews people up and spits them out.

There is that thing, too. And, you know, it's an interesting, complicated thing that there's not anything else like it, like that show, you know, just in terms of. Yeah. Maybe Sabado Hagante. Maybe that would be it. Yeah, maybe that would be it. I mean, like, I don't know. Things do need to change.

Like, there's a lot of magic in the legacy of snl and those original performers and then and then also like so many fucking truly like majorly one-of-a-kind people have come through and they really have it's not just that there was you know gilda and bill murray and belushi at the start it's like Will Ferrell is one of the funniest people who will ever, ever be on Earth. Absolutely. You know, and there's just... As is Maya Rudolph, as is Molly Shannon,

as is Kristen Wiig. Like, it's just, that's just like the truth. Yeah. And, but something about the culture has changed. And from my perspective, it just was like, oh, I wish I knew at the time what I was looking at. And now I look back and I'm like, oh, it's like a frat. Yeah. You know, it's like like be tough, like that kind of like it's just like all this sort of it's just a functioning. It's a belief system that functions and it does function to produce the show but it's just not it's just not for me

yeah and and that's why i was like in every way kind of my worst self there meaning like i wasn't really creatively very good i was like socially timid and probably like overplaying certain parts of my personality and desperate. And I don't know. It just reminds me a lot of like being in a bad romantic relationship. Yeah. When you learn and you move on. Yeah. You're like,

Oh, I understand why I was attracted to that for sure. Cause it's like the thing. Right. In fact, it didn't really, it didn't try to please me. Right. Your boyfriend SNL. My bad boyfriend SNL. Well, I mean, from that, you know, you've kept really busy with a high

quality of output, I think. I mean, there are a lot of people that don't. A lot of people are constantly saying, Jenny, man, she could have done better. I'm just kidding. But now, you know, you have written books. Yeah. You've, you know, made your own movies. You've been an actor in movies. You've done stuff on TV.

You've been an actor in movies, done stuff on TV. And I mean, going forward, are you going to keep it kind of varied in that way? Or are you going to try and do you think you'll focus on one more than the other? Oh, I think I'll keep it varied. I mean, I think I'm just getting started. Yeah, I think I'm just getting started. I'm 38. I'll be 39 in the spring it's taken me a lot of time to just stop trying to be like the next i don't know like um just like girl

actress you know like i just like for a while i was like i don't know i just want to be like emma stone like i just like want to be an actress in like really good movies. And, and I, that like really is not, I don't know. For some reason, that's just not how people see me or it's not what I am. Or I just can't, I don't know how to describe it. But the other night I was watching that new David david byrne concert film yeah yeah um i haven't seen it but yeah something america or i think it's called american utopia yeah and and i was thinking about the people that i like really really admire creatively um david byrne is one. Isabella Rossellini is another. Um, uh, I, like, I really,

I, Miranda July, people that are like definitely doing their own thing. And the fact is like, there just isn't one thing for me to do. And when I try to package it up or something or put myself on one path I just get really sad and I don't like it but I'd like to keep being a movie actress and our Marcel the film is almost done oh wow you know and once that is out in the world I think it it's it just will serve as like a big map for where I should go or where I can go creatively. And I just, yeah, I don't know. I just want to keep doing lots of beautiful things. Nice. Yeah.

That's a good thing to do. Yeah. Is there, I mean, which of those roles, like, do you like yourself best in? Like, do you think, like, that's the Jenny I want to be more so than the others? Or is that a fair question? Yeah, no, that's a fair question. I mean, the Jenny I want to be is like definitely the person making Marcel the Shell. Yeah. Where like I do take up all the space in terms of the creativity. Like, I mean, I mean, like I'm the one character other than, you know, there's the character. There's one other character in the movie.

But like where I can do a complete performance and I can be the center of something, which I want to be, which is also why I like stand up and be in ownership of that. But where it's like nobody else could do this. This is like I totally made this up, you know, with Dean Fleischer Camp, obviously. But like, you know, nobody else can play this part. And I think I think that I see my my fiance out the window. I think that I see my fiance out the window. But I do think, gosh, it's hard to describe. It's just I just don't care about what I used to care about.

Yeah. I would love to have, I would love to be the main person in a really good television show on like on HBO you know or like a but like do I want to to be on like a 22 episode network sitcom no I really don't yeah mostly I want to be free I want to be able to live in Massachusetts and I don't want um anyone to say that I can't do what I want to do. Yeah. So we'll just like I like set that down. Yeah. And you know what else? The center of everything for me in the past. I don't know.

I would say like since when Trump got elected. I was like, OK. Well. This is a this is like a cultural political death in a way, but I'm going to have to try to set standards within myself. And, um, and like, when it comes to my work and my life, I think there's like a, there's like a really, really sensitive dignity meter that I am very concerned with now. And I'm like,

are you eating shit or not? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you, you know, if you are, yeah.

Are you being kind or are you not? Yeah. Because you just know when you are, you're not. Yep. And like, that's all that matters to me now is like, how do I just stay on the sunny side of that? How do I not feel like I ate shit?

Stay on the sunny side of how to not eat shit. Like it's so, it's just clears so much up. Yeah. It clears so much up and so much tries to get in the way, but it's all just like, it's just like punted away. Like, you know, when you like try to punt a balloon and it like has no mass, so it doesn't even go anywhere. Like that's what it feels like. It's like, oh, this thing that was like, seems so big. It's just like a fucking balloon. Yeah. You know, like just, I just like, I'm just just like gently moving forward just like punting stupid shit away and i just keep doing it and and um so that's what i want to be doing in my career in my life and they should be the same well good well good luck

good okay here's your driver's license. Yeah. Thanks for coming in. How do I work this thing, though? Well, there's these three questions that I ask, and I feel like you answered them all. And I feel like I've taken up enough of your time. Well, I've probably taken up your time. I'm like a big blah, blah, blah person. That's the best kind, truly. person. That's the best kind, truly. And we were, well, you were talking before we started recording about how like these, that you get to talk to somebody. That's definitely, there are days for

me now. Well, now it's not so much because we're doing the Conan show at Largo, but there were months where I would wait, I'd be like, oh, today, what is it? Wednesday. Oh, I have a podcast. I get to talk to a person. I get to have a conversation. That's how I felt. I was like, oh, p? Wednesday. Oh, I have a podcast. I get to talk to a person. Yeah. I get to have a conversation. That's how I felt. I was like, oh, phew, this is so nice. I'm just going to go downstairs and talk to Andy. And it's like, especially in the pandemic, I mean, sometimes it's like, whoa, what happens today? Yeah, yeah. We have a blackboard in our kitchen. Actually, I'm in LA now but in in Massachusetts we have one too and since the beginning of the pandemic or the like a month into the kind of isolation thing I started

to write the day of the week on the blackboard every day every morning when I'm making the coffee and I draw a little picture nice yeah just to like remind myself that this is the day I don't want to look at my phone it is really useful because there are days when I'm like, it could be Tuesday. It could be Sunday. I don't fucking know. Yeah. That's a very unsettling feeling. And I don't like that.

So today, I mean, I don't know when you'll air this, but today the picture is about Armistice Day, which is what today is. Oh, nice. We should all be wearing poppies. All right, well, Jenny, thank you so much. It's great to see you and talk to you. Thanks for having me. It's been really, really delightful, at least for me. I'm glad.

Yes, it's been delightful for me, too. It's been delightful for me, too. All right, well, thank all of you for listening out there to another episode of The Three Questions. And come back next week and I'll be talking to somebody. Well, not as good as Jenny, but it's all right. They'll be alive. They'll have something to say. The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco and Earwolf production.

It's produced by me, Kevin Bartelt, executive produced by Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Chris Bannon and Colin Anderson at Earwolf. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, associate produced by Jen Samples and Galit Sahayek, and engineered by Will Becton. And if you haven't already, make sure to rate and review The Three Questions with Andy Richter

on Apple Podcasts. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.