The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Jon Daly: Weird Pet Stories (The Andy Richter Call-In Show)

Episode Date: February 13, 2026

Comedian and actor Jon Daly (Fallout, Kroll Show) joins The Andy Richter Call-In Show this week to hear your BAD PET AND ANIMAL STORIES!  Want to be a part of the Andy Richter Call-In Show? Tell us your favorite dinner party story or ask Andy a question! Fill out our Google Form at BIT.LY/CALLANDYRICHTER or dial 855-266-2604. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Conan O. Kona. What's up, guys? We're a little late. What are you going to do? Fire me? You can't. Is your name Johnny Sirius Jr.?

Is your named Paulina XM? You can't fire me. I quit. No, wait, that's not how it goes. Hey, it's the Andy Richard Call-in Show. I have John Daly here with me today. What's up? Who's really fucking funny?

You've seen him in Fallout, Twisted Metal, Kroll Show, Kirby, Your Enthusiasm, heard him in animated series like Marvel's Modoc. You know, I don't need to keep going. You don't need to keep going. You have a very, a flourishing career. I've worked with the Cohen Brothers. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, not bad. Not that Cohen Brothers.

Not freaking bad. The Cohen brothers that own an opticians company. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They bent my glasses for me, so they hug to my face. Yeah, they were great, though. They were really nice. What'd you do with the Cohen Brothers? I'm in Hail Caesar.

Oh, that's right. An underappreciated movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow, that's cool. Yeah, it was super cool. Today we're talking weird pet and animal stories. Let's go. I got a pet.

I got a great pet. Do you get a... You know what? Peaches. I did like a live streaming thing that you used to do. Oh, my God, yeah. Yeah. And I remember that that day there was...

was a, somebody had a, and I think it was this, whoever the person that owned the studio. And this was years ago. Right. And it was also, the two things remarkable about the day, other than the fact that we made incredible comedy. It was hilarious. That will, it will, is ageless and timeless. Um, number one is that we on the air figured out that the guy who had at Andy Richter on Twitter. Yeah.

Was dead. Oh, no. So then I could then get, because I had been like, you know, like Mr. Andy Richter or something. I don't even remember what it was. Yeah. But like we, I said, yeah, some other guys got it. Yeah, he's trying to hustle me. And then somebody Googled it and they're like, no, no, I think he killed himself.

And I was like, oh my God, what a bummer. But what an opportunity for me. Yeah, he was like. I mean, it is a tragedy, but. I'll never be the Andy Richter. Right. I got to end this. Yeah.

I'll end this. I hope that wasn't wise. There's so many better. No, no, that's a... The world is horrible. Why would he... Yeah. Yeah.

You know, I've thought about it. The wonderful nap. That nap? Yeah. I mean, granted, there's no end to it, but I love nap. Yeah, dirt. Yeah, it's just in the dirt. Yeah.

It's fine. Yeah. Maybe you happen to immolate me while I'm sleeping. That's your... I don't care. That's not my problem. Sprinkle me somewhere nice or don't. I don't.

I don't care. Thank you. Yeah, I'm in space. But that... So I was able to get at Andy Richter after that. And then the other thing was somebody had the most

adorable little black pug puppy. Oh, that's Cyrus. Yeah. That's my friend Cyrus. Cyrus Garamani. And that dog was teething and it had the sharpest needle teeth I had ever experienced in my life. And I was

just kept getting bitten by this adorable little dog. That is funny. Yeah, I think the dog's gotten better. Yeah, yeah. Just had a weird story for that dog, kind of a weird pet story. Cyrus had all these problems with that dog, and the dog was just really sick, and I'd come see it and, oh, man, this dog's kind of on its last legs. And Cyrus went on Chat GBT, GBT, and was like, here are my dog's symptoms.

What should I do? And Chat GPT said, you should have your dog put down immediately because it's never going to get better. Then Cyrus took it to the vet, took it to a good vet, and Pasadena. To a robot vet. And the robot vet killed it. No, but took it to the vet. And the vet was like, oh, no, it has a, you know, a bacterial infection that's just been going on for years. They gave them antibiotics.

The dog is 100% better. Wow. And totally fine. So the lesson is never type your dog's symptoms. Right, right, right, right. I don't believe anything chat GPT says. I think chat GPT is probably eventually just going to be like, you should kill it. Yeah.

About everything. Yeah. Yeah. It goes to the extreme. You should kill yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Kill yourself. Yeah, why live? Right.

It's great. It's better for me. Just let me roam the earth. Yeah, exactly. Me, Skynet. Yeah. Yeah. Screw that. That's amazing. That's amazing. But that dog is great now. It was from a blood test or something that they figured it out.

They figured it out from a blood test. And they were just like, this dog just has a very major infection that no one's diagnosed yet. They gave it antibiotics. And the dog is now like happy. But it was very sick for a while. And I was like, you see it. Break your heart. It's all. awful. Yeah. It's awful when, yeah. It's awful when pets have a hard time.

Definitely. Because they're so happy and they're pushing through it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. We had my wife, I mean, this is a, this is a bit of a bummer, so I won't like go into the whole details. But my, we were a blended dog family. I have a big dog, let's like a quarter great Pyrenees. So she's kind of that size. Right. Right. That livestock guardian dog kind of personality. And she's great. And then my wife had a little, like one of those little white dogs, like, you know, LWDs. And she was just a great dog, really, you know, just like no trouble and really sweet and funny. And took her to the vet for one thing. They did a blood test on her.

And they're like, oh, my God, her white blood count is a gazillion. You know, we need to do other tests. Oh, she's got lymphoma. Oh, my God. And that she had cancer. And we were like, what? She didn't present any kind of, and any kind of symptoms. Yeah.

And they're like, yeah, you should start chemo right away. And so we started chemo. And that made her sick. Oh, man. And so, and we went to other vets and they're like, no, no, because we were like, it seems like we made her sick. Like she was fine. And they're like, no, no.

She was, you know, from all the blood work and everything. And then they did a scan of her lymph nodes. And they're like, no, no, she was really sick. but it was like from fine to dead in about six weeks. Oh, no. It was really, really fast. With the chemo happened. Yeah, with chemo and like lots of money spent on it.

Oh. Probably. And I mean, I don't mean because of the money, but I mean, we probably threw too much at her. Yes. Pointlessly. And I don't mean like, again, I don't mean because of the cost. I mean because it just prolonged her misery, you know. Right.

Right. And, but that's a hard thing. It's horrible. It's a hard thing to know. I just did this. I just did this. Our dog, we took her for a big hike and peaches, and she just like got really sick and shaky. And she was like doing this shiver thing.

And we were like, oh, what's going on? And then stopped eating, stopped drinking, stop pooping. And we were like, okay, vet time. And it turned out she'd eaten a tree seed, this like big avocado seed or something like that. Yeah, yeah. And couldn't get it through. The internal sphincter, I just learned all about this. There's an internal sphincter between your stomach and your intestines when your dog and maybe when you're human too.

And it couldn't pass it. I think he's got a lot of nerve endings, if you know what I mean. Yeah. Oh, hot. That's hot. If you can stick something down there. Oh, man. Oh, man.

You can get a sewer snake up there. There's nothing like that, man. There's nothing like it. Yeah, I've got friends who are super into that. Anyway, so about your dog dying. So about my dog is still alive, thank God. And, but yeah, we took it. it in and, you know, they were like, you have this, we, you know, see this giant tree seed. And,

yeah, so much money later. And then we got, we got pet insurance after that. But like, yeah, get that pet insurance. Get that pet insurance. It's really good. Yeah, absolutely. Because, like, I don't have it for my big dog and I just am, I fear what I'm ahead of. Yeah, yeah. Right. Because all the big dog problems, you know. Right. They always have like a big tumor hanging off of their stomach. Or, yeah, or just hips that turn to dust. You know, you know, when they turned six or something. Right. You got to get them one of those dog wheelchairs where their back legs are no wheels.

But she's 120 pounds. That's got to get a big wheelchair. Oh, that's terrible. Yeah. When you first started talking about your dog's symptoms of like shivering and. Yeah. And I had before I got, before my ex-wife and I split, because she still has them, two little dogs, like a pug mixture and a chihuahua mixture. And this little pug mixture one night.

was a shivering mess, like, like, you know, like all nervous. And if you came, like, close to her, she would flinch, like, totally not her. Right. You know. And it was night. And I'm like, oh, all right, I'll take her to the 24-hour clinic. Oh, man. And then, and when I came in and told him about it, I saw kind of like, oh, like that kind of thing.

Yeah. And then they're like, hand her over. And I handed her over the desk to them. And as I did, she just. pissed all over everything. Awesome. And as she's holding her, she goes like, she probably ate weed. No. Yes. Really? Oh, wow. She said she probably ate weed. And this is, I don't know, this is maybe

six or seven years ago. Right. Right. Like legal weed was, you know, really. Or? No. And it was, and I mean, and I smoked, I smoked weed at the time, but, and I was like, what the fuck did I do? But like, I, you know, I got kids. I smoke in the garage very discreetly. Right, right. You know, like, oh, as a stoner dad. Yeah, exactly. You're not leaving shit around in ashtrays. Right, right.

So I was like, how the fuck could that happen? We figured out tile setters had been cutting tile by the side of the house and smoking joints. Like, we could smell throughout the day. Wow. One of them, and my ex-wife was, like, convinced that one of them fed her weed. And I was like, no, she's probably dumb enough that she probably ate a roach. Right. Like, she probably is like,

Oh, this. Or smart enough. Smells. Yeah. I mean, or smart enough. Anything that smells plunged to dogs, they're going to put that in their mouth. That's, that smells like indica.

Yeah. Some purple haze. But yeah, so we think she just probably ate a roach from the tile cutters. Damn. The tile setters. And they were like, there's nothing to really do, you know, just keep her hydrated. And, you know, they gave her, like, charcoal pills. but like I let him keep her overnight

so they could put her on an IV so she could get hydrated. Oh, that's the worst. They don't have any fun. Yeah, exactly. It's just hallucination. They know what's going on. We got my dog high when we were kids.

It's so bad. Like we got her, you know, in high school, we like hot box my dog and we were like, she's high. And she just went by the air conditioner event and just like was like breathing. We were like, oh, this is really bad. She's not having the fun that we like.

She doesn't have the knowledge. It's like, I imagine it would be, you know, like, and I've never been dosed, but I can imagine, like, getting dosed with acid and having no knowledge, that's what happened. That's what's happening. That must be horrible. You just feel like you're dying. Yeah. Those pesky the Grateful Dead would do that all the time. Exactly.

Yeah. And, well, some other, well, I can't even talk about it. That happened at UCB at some point, too. Some dickhead dosed his entire class. Oh. And, like, then was banned for me. I remember. I forget his name, but, you know, like, fuck that guy.

There is a comedy entity, we'll say. Right. Long, like a property, a comedy, a show. Saturday night last. No, no. But they do that. And they, a friend of mine's wife. Whoa.

At some party got dosed and, and had never tripped in her life and was just like having, thought she was dying, you know. And then they figured it out. And her husband was furious. Whoa. Curious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kids in the hall.

Yeah. No, no. They're dosing people. No, no. It was yo gabba gaba. It helps. It helps appreciate their show. We should go to the phones.

Let's go. Enough of us blabbing. We want to hear your pet and animal stories. Cut to the phones. If you got one, 855-266-2-604 is our number. We got Rachel is calling from Idaho. John and Andy are here for you. you, Rachel.

What'sah! Hi, how are you guys? Good, how are you? I'm good, thanks. Cool. What you got for us? So, yeah, a long time ago when my husband and I were first married, we had a couple little Boston Terriers, and, you know, they're not known for much of anything besides

being, like, super obnoxious, but one of them was, like, he loves the fetch. He became super, super obsessive about it. And so he started taking him to the lake. throwing sticks in the lake and they don't swim. They're not swimmers, but he would swim out there horribly to catch, to get the stick and bring it back. Then we started throwing rocks and he would dive under water and grab the rocks and bring him back up to the shore for us.

Now one day we're out there throwing him and he's diving down and he's coming back up, but he doesn't have a rock in his mouth. But he's like macking on something. Oh, no. Do it again. Same thing. We do it a few times. And we're like, what's he going?

So I put on some goggles and I followed him down under the water. and there was one of those sugar daddy candies, like those big caramel things on a stick. Oh, yeah. Like stuck to a rock at the bottom of a lake. And he was just diving down there and grabbing a bite and then coming back up, waiting for us to throw another rock so he could go down there and get another bite. Wow.

And it was a course of an hour or so he ate the whole thing. Oh, my God. That is, well, first of all, those things are rough on the teeth. Yeah. They make me feel like terrible. Yeah. They're rough on the teeth. He was chewing and smacking and, yeah.

Yeah. Wow. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, he had a great day. Yeah. But what a little genius. What a little snacking genius. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, you find that. He could be very smart if it benefited him in any way. Right. Did you ever eat any candy after that? Is he a candy head? He would eat anything and everything, yeah. Yeah.

And he would fetch anything and everything, too, just like obsessively. So much so that we ended up giving, he had to have neck surgery because he hurt his neck, like, jumping. to try and catch things so much. Oh, my God. He, like, ruptured a disc in his neck. And, yeah, he was, he was crazy. Wow.

Oh, man. Yeah. I'm glad I'd never, I've never had one of those Eats Everything kind of dogs, you know, like just. Oh, I have one. Oh, do you? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I have a fucking pain in the ass. Then they don't learn. They never learn. No, no, it's their main drive. Yeah. And, too, my dog does a thing where when we're hiking in the woods, she will run off and we always get, Oh, man, she's doing this again.

She'll run up to a quarter mile away, whatever. And she will come back smelling the worst smell you've ever smelled in your life because she has rolled in a deer carcass. And she's come back with parts of the deer, like clothed in parts of the deer carcass. And she will come back with a deer foot in her mouth. And it is the most hard thing to take away because she's like, I don't think you understand. This is the best day of my life. And I've done the best job.

I could possibly do. I'm sitting there, yeah, wrenching the deer foot out of her mouth and the flea, I can feel the fleas hopping from her foot onto my skin, the worst. And then the other thing she does is she will bolt, she's really good, but she's a pit bull. So she has all these, she's big, big teeth and big jaw, you know, really strong jaws. And she's a sweetheart and loves everybody, but the one she thinks she will do is she will book across like an entire set of baseball fields where we're throwing for her and eat and pop a child's soccer ball. And more than once, I have been, I have like ran over to a mom and just been like, I'm so sorry.

What's your Venmo? I will buy. And there's like a weeping five-year-old child. Yeah. Because my dog just went up and I've like Venmo, I'm like, how much is a soccer ball, $25? Let me just get you a new soccer ball. Yeah, yeah. It is amazing how they keep, because like my, my big dog, like, it's, she was born having delivery people as her enemy.

Oh, no. Like the mailman is her fucking enemy. She likes everybody. She's, I mean, she's not like super, she's not a super demonstrative dog. She's pretty chill and likes people and, you know, has a big grin on her face. But fucking UPS guy, mailman. And she knows the sound of the mailman's truck. Right.

And she hears him coming. She's like, that motherfucker, you know, like gets up, like to just go. And it's like, why this guy? And they're, and we have been like walking on, on a leash and she sees him. And she kind of, like, I'm like, you're not going to really. And she kind of will like give a bit of a lunge towards him. I'm like, oh, man. This is a guy that brings us our stuff.

Yeah. This brings mommy her checks. What are you doing, you know? Yeah. Don't mess with our pay. Yeah, yeah. Wow. All right, Rachel.

Well, um. Rachel, I'm glad it wasn't a human hand. Yeah. The way you set it up, I was like, it was a human hand. It was a dead body at the bottom of the lake you was back in on. It's like that's where they found the final Ted Bundy victim. Yep, yeah, mystery solved. Yeah.

All right, Rachel. Thank you. Thank you. All right. Thanks, guys. All right. Bye-bye. Next up, we got Mark from Oregon.

Mark, John and I are here. Hey. Hey guys, can you hear me all right? Sure. Awesome. So I got a story about a squirrel, a dog, and a cougar. Okay. Awesome.

It gets good. Cougar, the four-legged persuasion, not a two-legged. We were just going to let that lie. That's next week, Andy. So one February day, I rolled into town. I was about two blocks of my house, and I look up, it looks like my son's bobbles on fire, about 20, 30-thirty-foot flames. They had the street locked off, rolled around inside the house, and fire trucks out and all that, and their power company's out there. And what had happened was a damn squirrel, blew the transformer, shot a charge down the full line, sent a charge down the support cable, blew up the three-inch copper line on our screen.

three. So the fortunate thing was that it actually ignited at the time apparently they're telling me because if it was delayed, it would have blown up the whole block. But that's not where the story is. After they I'll finally, three hours

later, plug the line up. They let us go into the house. And I saw that the phone line sent a charge in the house blew up our modem, blew up our direct TV box, blew up our TV. and what had happened was we had two dogs in the house. One dog, my son got a hold of put in the car.

The boxer ran off about three miles across town, and she's a dog that's never been out, run out before. And at that time, we actually had cougars coming into our town in the city limits and killing animals and whatnot. Anyway, sort of a three days later, we finally got the dog back. Somebody saw they've done dog running around, and we had posted on the community lost pets page

and yeah it's pretty traumatic the house can have burnt down but having the dog missing at that time was pretty rough oh man so when does the hot older lady come in no uh that's that sucks dude oh yeah

so but the cougar only played in it as a threat uh yeah the head of family member was pretty stressed out about it You know, the dog's pretty special. And that side of town, you have llamas getting killed and chickens and all of the other stuff. And it was pretty wild times, man. Yeah, yeah.

In the middle of winter having a little dog running around. And we got her back, but she was pretty pooped out and dehydrated in the weather. That's the worst when your dog, you can't find your dog. That's happening where I can't find my dog. That's the worst. Yeah. One time she was eating, we were in like Palm Springs area. and she just ran into the desert.

And we found her like two hours later, eating old wings. Just wing. Young. Old wings. Those bones are going to be fun to shit out. Yeah, bleached bones. All right, Mark.

Well, thanks for the call. Hope your modems. Okay. No, it's not. Oh, no. All right. See you guys. Take care.

This guy's got a modem? Yeah. Nice. What is it? Must be nice. Must be nice. You got a freaking modem there. I, uh, in my name, I live in Pasadena and I live like in the middle of Pasadena, like just a few, like three blocks south when Old Town is.

Right. And, um, we were having a couple years ago, coyotes snatching little dogs, like hiding behind cars and jumping out and like trying to, run off with little dogs. Right. And oh my God, the hysteria that it caused in the neighborhood and the people, you know, because there's a particular kind of crazy when it comes to dogs, like in people. Like there's, there are people who, like, they're crazy people anyway, but then when it comes to their dog, it's like it magnifies it by a hundred. Right. And I mean, and granted, you know, it is a scary thing, but like, people walking around with like, you know, like, guns.

No, just like big, like sections of, what do you call it, the rods that go inside of concrete? Oh, yeah, rebar? Rebar. Yeah. Like, there was, there was a woman in the neighborhood that had, and it was like a four-foot piece of rebar. Yeah.

That's got to be, have a considerable weight to it, you know. Like, and what are you going to do to a coyote, weirdo? I don't know. Just poke at it, I guess, you know? But they did. There was like, there was like three. And one of my neighborhood friends, his dog got grabbed. And so there's lots. Now they're still to this day. Although the, because the coyotes of whatever generation of coyote must have passed through. Because we still get coyotes, but they're not aggressive.

Like, and somebody, and I mean, you know, of course there were neighborhood text chains. And somebody talked to the city and the city said, somebody's been feeding these coyotes. Right. Because they're not afraid of people like they should be. Or they found a great dumpster outside of McDonald's or something. Seriously, like they're, they are more docile because they're just, Hollywood coyotes are just like, or whatever, Pasadena coyotes are just like fed and fat and happy. Yeah.

Sometimes they look real healthy. I know. Because you see some ratty ones. Oh, absolutely. And some injured ones and stuff. But like, yeah. In Hollywood, they're just like, hey, we run this town. No, that was some of the ones that we would see.

I was like, that is a very well-fed, healthy coyote. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, my dog goes for coyotes, and I think she could really mess one up, I think. Yeah. Like, I don't think a one coyote's going to harm her because she's a big strong dog. Yes. But, but yeah, it's scary. I enjoy seeing them.

So I'm just like, wow, we live in sort of nature. Oh, yeah, yeah. I do like that. Yeah, as much as we try, we can't push nature out. Yeah. And I'm going to say, my dog, my dog wants to kill them. Yeah, my dog wants to kill them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm like, you're not going to have a fun interaction with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You might win it, but it's not going to be good. But it's pure drive. You know, it is again, it's like that livestock guardian thing. And I, you know, and like, I see videos online of like these dogs and they're just like, you know, people will come home and they're ranchers or whatever. And they're like, oh, look, you know, Trixie killed a coyote. Yeah, cute.

Good girl. Yeah, that's what we got her for. Covered in blood. Yay. Good barrel, Trixie. Yeah, that's why we don't feed her, like all this. So she does that and then we give her, we meet out some food to her. And when, and then these, because I've seen a few of these videos when that happens, and the dog's so happy.

Yeah. The dog is so fulfilled. Oh, dogs are never, like, happier than when they're pulling a sled and they're tied to a sleeping tied to a stick in the woods, like in the snow. Yeah. That's when they're really like, ah, alive. This is it. Yeah, we're like, we're tamping that down as much as we can. But people are prejudiced against pit bulls, you know?

And she is such a sweetheart that it's like, it blows my mind. But I guess I get why they're prejudiced because these are, you know, she's got muscles, you know. But I was up in Tahoe and I was kind of walking her. She was on leash. And this guy's little dog starts running towards my dog. And he starts going, is your dog going to hurt my dog? Is your dog going to hurt my dog? And I was like, no, sir, my dog's safely on leash.

He just couldn't get over And he started Is she okay? Is she okay? And I was like, I just told you my dog's Safely Unleash, my friend. Just so annoying.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I was like, you know, she's a sweet dog. Yeah. No, I mean, I've known lots of sweet pit bulls, but I don't know that I would ever have one. And that's purely because my daughter was bitten in the face by one.

No. And that's a formative thing. You know, that's like, yeah. And this is a dog that had never done anything before. and when something like that happens, then you hear everyone's story about, you know, the pit bull that hadn't done anything that all of a sudden went cuckoo, you know. Right. But like I wouldn't have chihuahuas either because they're food. No, no, no, because they will bite your face.

Right, right. Like the majority of dog bite cases in Los Angeles are facial and from chihuahuas. Wow. Yeah. Oh, no. They're like strange little creatures. And I mean, you know, they can be sweet too, but I don't think I'd ever run the risk. Damn.

I have a beautiful face. Yeah. And I make a lot of money off of it. Look, I know. It's like, yeah, you got to save that moneymaker. Yeah. The guest host here always have a hard time concentrating. Yeah.

I am rock hard right now. 855-266-2-604 people. We're talking pets. It's a love line. Peter. Peter from Maryland. if that is your name. Hi, Peter.

It is my government name. How are y'all doing today? Good, good. How are you? Oh, you know, can't complain. It's nice and cold out here. Yep. Nice.

So, oh, wait, I'm just realizing, I'm just realizing you are a wild card call. That's just an off-topic call. Okay, great. We don't care about the standards here are very, very low. Man. So Peter, what's your wild card? So my wild card takes us all the way back to 2002. And like every good story it starts out with, I was completely wasted.

Yes. I was in the Atlanta's hotel and casino walking through where the slot machines were. And I see a gentleman playing the slots. And I'm looking at him. And in my drunken state, I say to myself, that's Martin Sheen. So I go up to him. and I say, hey, hey, you're Martin Sheen. And he looks from his slots.

He says, yes, I am. And drunkenly, I go, no, you're not. And he says, okay, then I'm not. And goes right back to playing his slot. I'm standing there for like 10 to 15 seconds, just thinking like, what the heck just happened? And then I just turn around and walk away. So to this day, I do not know if I actually bet Martin Sheen or not.

And if I did, I made a complete, ass out of myself. Yeah. Was it a West Wing slot machine? I, that I, honestly, I was so drunk, I couldn't remember. Or Apocalypse. It was an apocalypse now. Yeah, yeah. Well, Peter, I got to tell you, from the, just from the, just from the, what you've described, I think it probably was. Because, yeah, that sounds like a, yeah, because I, because I have, you know, like, people will recognize me out. in the wild.

And the thing that I will just not play is, I know you from somewhere, don't I? And I'll be like, yeah. And often I'll just be like, yeah, I'm Andy Richter from the, it was on Conan for years and or whatever. But like, but if they want to keep up that like,

where to how gosh you look from. I'm just like. And then you're just listing off your credits. I'm just, yeah, no, yeah. I've gotten caught in that.

But like once. How about this? And then it's like, yeah, no. I'm like, what do I know you from? You know, and I'm like, I've started been like,

I've been in a lot of stuff, you know, because it does, you just feel like an ass sitting there. When you're, when, first of all, Martin Sheen's sitting there playing slots. That's weird. It's, yeah, he's already like a little bit like, had to get over the fact that he's going to be spotted and that people are going to want to talk to him.

And he might just want to feed his gambling addiction. Yeah, what's up with slot? Why is Martin? You play slots? Everybody plays slots every now and then. Maybe they were those sequestered high-stake slots. It doesn't sound like it. It sounds like he was...

Peter, he was just on a traffic pattern, wasn't he? Yeah, I was just having just walking by. Yeah, and I just, in the slot machine, and there he was. I mean, he was at his time, you know, in his 60s, and I know a lot of, you know, the senior citizens, they play slot machines all the time. Yeah, yeah. Maybe he was just trying to blend.

in, but also realizing that, yes, I am Martin Sheen, people may come up. Yeah, yeah. So when he said, I highly doubt he was prepared to that. Well, but when you say, are you Martin Sheen, he's going to go, yes. And then if you say, no, you're not, because this is what I would say, okay, I'm not, you know, whatever you want. That's what I am. Yeah, because I'd rather not be bothered. Please let me act like a machine feeding this other machine and this pointless loop.

Let me continuously lose. Yeah. Peter, let me ask you, where were you on your way to? What's your game or what's your, what's your triangulation when you are in a casino? Oh, so I, so we had just got done playing a lot of beach volleyball and drinking a lot of rum. Okay. So I think we were just, I think I was just on the way to use the bathroom and also just look around the casino. Oh, so you were just doing something else.

Okay. Yeah, right. Yeah, I was going to get the casino. I was there. Sandy Casino Stroll. Yeah, get some of that smoky. Smoky air. And there.

Pretty much. All right, Peter. Well, thank you for the call. Well, no, thank you. And thank you for the semi-closure on it. I really appreciate it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you probably met him and, you know, just, yeah.

You blew it. Next time, take his word for it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I definitely will. Wait, what would you have said if you knew it was him? Sorry. I love you in.

If I were known, it was, oh, yeah. I mean, at the time, I hadn't seen Apocalypse now. I had only seen, there's only movies I'd seen Spawn and Cadence. So I would have talked and, you know, said, I liked you in Cadence.

I didn't really appreciate the movie Spawn, but good try. Yes, you don't like to, yeah, yeah, you're not fucking rotten tomatoes. There, buddy.

Good try, dummy. Why'd you say yes to that? Yeah. Hope you enjoyed that paycheck. Yeah, yeah. Two hours of life down the toilet. Yeah, what a bummer. You bum me out.

with that one, man. I think it personally. Spahn, that's so funny. Martin Sheen does not remember Spawn. I have been in the sun and drinking rum all day. All right, all right, no, no. I can't tell you what I would have said. No, we understand.

And, you know, and there's, yeah. And you're not as used to being around fabulous people as John and I. Yeah. We're around really fabulous people all the time. Man. Yeah. It's crazy. You two are awesome.

You two are awesome. Thank you for your time. Thank you for all the way. and take care. All righty. See you later. Bye much. Later.

Rum and the sun. Rum and the sun. Rum and the sun. I do like rum. Rum is like a... But you just drink it when you want to feel like you're on vacation. Right. It always just feels like, ah, it's vacation.

I can never do rum. I don't drink anymore, but I did... It makes me... It's got that sweetness because it's like made of sugar. Right, of course. Right. It makes sense. But yeah, it's definitely that vacation kind of like a suntan lotion smell.

Mm, yummy. Anna, Anna from Pennsylvania. Hi. Hi, John and Andy are here. Hello. Is it Anna or Anna? Oh, it's Anna. Anna.

Anna, okay. Anna. What do you got for us? My cat that I have now Toffee, when I first adopted her, she was basically accrupted for the first three years. because I had an very elderly cat at the time. It was about like 20 years old. Hated other cats, but her vision and memory were getting real bad.

So whenever Toffee needed a home ASAP, like, oh, we'll try it, see how it works. And it turns out if she just stayed outside of like a two-foot radius of the elderly cats field of vision, she did not exist. Oh. They got long great, and the older cat was just like, at last, you've added a second food and water dish and a second litter box. Oh, the luxury.

Oh, wow. Wait, what did you call? Did you call her a cryptid? Yeah. What is that? Like Bigfoot. Oh, yeah. Okay.

A fantasy monster. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like she'd catch her. out of the corner of Rye and then like, oh, yeah, there's nothing there. I'm the only mammal in this house. Nice. Where are you from in Pennsylvania? I'm from Wampum. It's like about an hour north of Pittsburgh.

Okay. I'm from Pittsburgh, North Hills. Oh, nice. Yeah. That's cool. Wampum. Wow. I've never heard of that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's teeny, teeny tiny. Right. Nice. All right. Well, thank you for the call, Anna, Anna. Anna Anna. Anna. Anna. Yeah. Thank you so much. Good to talk to you guys.

Yeah, good to talk to you too. All right. Later. Bye, bye. Sweetheart. Yeah. Anna. 855-266-2604.

We got some time left for a few more calls. Lucy from Ohio. Oh, this is good. She's got a chase story, John. Lucy from Ohio. Lucy. Hey, you guys. First of all, I want to say thanks for making me laugh today.

I needed it. I just came from the dentist. and half my mouth is numb, so you can make fun of me all you want to. No, that's all right. You sound pretty normal. Yeah, yeah. Well, thank you. So my chase story is when I was a kid, I was babysitting my nephew, and I was probably

like 14, and he was about five. And my sister had a sheep dog, and the rabbit got loose. The sheep dog was chasing the rabbit, and my nephew was chasing the sheep dog, and they were all headed in the same direction towards the road. And, of course, I'm responsible for all three of them. So I went chasing after them. The rabbit stopped, turned 180, went back the other way. The sheep dog rolled over into the road, and I rolled over my nephew.

All three of us tumbled into the road. Thank God there was no car coming. But I thought it was funny. And the rabbit got away? Rabbit got, well, you know, it was a pet rabbit, so we eventually caught the rabbit. Right, right. Oh, man. Rabbit got away from.

Yeah. Yeah, rabbit caused all of that mayhem. Do you think the dog would have killed the rabbit even though it? I mean, it obviously was aware that the rabbit lived there, correct? Oh, good question. I don't know if the dog's name was Simon. And I don't know if Simon would have the rabbit. Maybe he would have.

I don't know. Only one way to find out. Depends on prey drive. Yeah, sure does. Put him in a pit together. They're all gone now. That was so long ago. All right.

Well, thank you, Lucy. Thanks for the call. Hey, thanks for making me laugh today. Oh, you're welcome. That's interesting. I'm always like, what is my dog chases rabbits too all the time? And like, what are you going to do when you get this thing? I've always, that's always been the case.

Like, what do you, especially we have a big dog and a little dog. And the little dog, like, what the, that squirrel would one bite in you, and that dog would, you know. And also, she's the kind of dog that, like, runs up to other dogs and then, like, immediately presents belly up. Right. Same with my dog. Yeah, yeah. She's like, please kill me. Yeah, yeah.

You can tear out my guts if you want. I hope you don't, but, you know, if you need to. Yeah, if you need to get some stress out, you can kill me. No, it is. See, with the big dog, it is like, oh, if she caught something, I know what she'd do. Right. You know, like, yeah. Who's the alpha dog?

Because it's really funny when little dogs are, like, in charge. The little dog gets way spicier with the big dog than the big dog ever does. The big dog is so, Daisy is her name. And she's so patient the little, like if I, if you're petting Daisy, Sunny, who's the little dog, will literally crawl up onto Daisy's head to get to your hands and like step on her face. Right. And Daisy just puts up with it. Yeah.

And, and, but like, Sunny will get, like if Daisy, you know, like she'll get snappy about food, like if she's like, you give her a treat, give them both treats. And then Daisy standing too close to Sunny with when Sunny has her treat. and Sonny will like growl and snap. Yeah. Oh, geez. Yeah. Yeah.

The first time she ever, she ever snapped was after Sunny came home from being spayed. Oh, no. And we just set her down on the chair with her cone on her head. And she just was like sitting there, like, you know, still under anesthesia. messed up. Yeah. And Daisy came over to sniff her and comfort her.

And she just like, like, bit her nose. Oh, no. Get the fuck away from me. Daddy drunk. They took my ovaries. Stephanie, from the Bay area. Poop. It just says on the note next to your call, poop.

So it's got to be a good one. It's a universal. Yeah, I've listened to the show, so I know you're totally comfortable talking about poop. Oh, boy am I. So it sounds like you guys are primarily dog people. people. Yes.

Something you should know about. I'm an everything person. I would have an entire menagerie if it were feasible. I love cats, but I'm allergic, so it's a problem. Got it. Okay. Well, something that cat people know is that orange cats, sweetest cats, but they're also the dumbest cat.

Oh, really? Yeah, it's this whole thing. I don't know where it started, but I see it constantly. And we have a very sweet, very affectionate, dumb orange cat. and his name is Needles and he has this particular issue where he's a very vocal cat he talks all the time

he purrs while he talks he's got this great voice but every so often in the morning he has his routine of where he has to be next to me when I'm working he's got to have all of his paws on me so he knows that I'm there if I get up he gets up

every so often he gets a little bit out of his routine and he walks around our house just vocalizing loud loud yowling, just whoa, whoa, whoa, in every room. And I follow him around, try to figure out what is it that you need. Your food bowl is fine. Your water, it's fresh. What's going on? And I'll try to get him back on the bed with me where he sometimes settles down, but then he'll get off and he'll wander

around again. And what I finally realized is, especially in the morning, because he's so into his routine, is he actually has to poop, but he doesn't know that that's what he's trying to, he doesn't understand what's happening with his butt. So I have to... I've been there, sister. Hey, I'm there right now. So I basically have to escort. He knows where his litter boxes. It's never in a different place. I have to take him into the mudroom where his boxes. I have to shut the door. And then, lo and behold, like five or ten minutes later, I'll open the door. And he has taken a huge smelly dump that he... Most cats cover up their stuff because...

that's how you keep predators away from finding where you are. But he's so stupid, he does not ever cover it up. He's ignoring his instincts. Well, yeah, and I've had cats my whole life never had a cat who had to be escorted to poop. Wow. Yeah, that's pretty dumb. That's pretty dumb. That is pretty dumb.

My little dog, it's like, you know, not knowing with, if she ever gets, like a hanging turd. Oh, man. It immobilizes her. It just immobilizes her. And we were, there was someday she must have, because they have a dog door to go to the backyard, we could not find her anywhere. We're calling for, calling for, like, thinking like, oh shit, she got out through the gate

because she can, she will do that, you know, not often, but she has done it before. And we find her upstairs. She had a turd hanging out of her butt. And she went all the way upstairs looking for. for us and then just stopped in our bedroom and was like I said, was just waiting for like just like, please, please, get this off of me. Please. Get it off of me.

When Peaches has a hanging turd, she once ate a large amount of carpet and had hanging turds for like a full year. Took a full year to get all this. And it would be like red, red yarn. And she had all these hanging turds. And she acts like, there's a live grenade. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She just gets down and she's like, make this stop.

Like, no, I can't deal with it. this because it's like it must be tugging a little bit. I don't know. Well, I just wonder like in the wild, you know, like how could you, how could they be immobilized by a hanging turd? Yeah, they must have to kind of push through it in the wild. Yeah. In the wild. So we have our other cat, our black cat, Bean, she has the opposite issue.

So she, when she poops and covers it up, if she has a hanging turd, she scoots her butt on the floor of the mud room to get it off. Charmed up. So they'll find these smears. but the thing that she does after pooping, again, this is such a cat thing, it's called the poop gallop. And once they're done in the box, they go tearing around the house,

like a wild cat. Like, they're so, so happy. Oh, yeah, zoosies. They just have to celebrate. It's the zoomies. And it's always after that. They feel so light. They just, you know.

If it doesn't enough, you're going to have to rename that mudroom. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. All right, Stephanie. Thank you. Thank you so much for the call. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Bye bye. All right. It sounds like when cats are dumb, it's maybe a little better. Like, it sounds sweet. Like, when cats are smart, they're like, I'm going to kill a mouse and bring it to you. Yeah.

And like, that's in like we're equals. Like, I don't necessarily like you. Like, there are certain. There are certain kinds, because my dad always had cats and he had like purebred cats. He had Himalayan cats. Right. And there was also, and I don't know if it was a Himalayan or he also, he might. have had one called a rag doll, which is a breed of cat, which I think it's the rag dolls

where it's like the more perfect they get, you know, like in terms, because it's all physical attribute kind of shit, the more perfect they get, the dumber they get. Like the really perfect ones, like almost can't move. They just sort of like, they're like a throw pillow that breathes, you know, that you have to feed. They don't need to. They look good. Yeah. Yeah, it's just like, yeah, I look good. I'm beautiful. Yeah, feed me. What are you going to do? Let this go.

What's that coming out on my back end? Oh, well, I don't care. Hey, Zane from Wisconsin. You got John and Andy here. Hi, how are you there? Good, how are you? I'm great. I have a story about my mom's dumb-ass dog.

Okay. Fucking dumb-ass dog. Dog is so stupid. You might think I'm making a little bit. this up, but I swear I'm not. It's a poodle, standard poodle, in name only.

It has eaten two cars, including one it rendered, well, the insurance total, but that's how much damage does dog. What? Wait a minute. How the fuck could a dog eat enough of a car to total it?

Was it given the keys? What? What? What does the dog eat on a car? So the first car, she just tore up the back seat and the car still functioned. Okay. But the next one, and there's another wrinkled list. So my mother is older, retired, and she does the snowbird thing, right?

Yeah. And she drags this dog all over the country. And she's actually down in Florida, and the dog ate the car. I had the power steering didn't work anymore when the dog was done with it like what was it

like under the dash it was eating stuff or did it get the hood up like what it's trying to hotwire and get away from the what's it was trying to hotwire the car

this dog is like neurotic or something it doesn't like to drive but my mother will still take it on like cross-country drives Yeah, yeah. I mean, I get some type of dog, I shit you not. I've been in the car with this dog on these long trips,

and the dog will bark for eight hours straight. Oh, my God. I'm honestly impressed. Oh, yeah. My mother is also unflappable, so it doesn't even phase her, but everyone else in the car, yeah. Give that dog some Benadryl. Yeah, give it that Benadryl, put it to sleep.

She's probably done that. I don't know if it had any effect. Oh, well, sounds like a smart dog. It's going for the source of the displeasure. Or it sounds like the universe is punishing your mother like with a curse. Right. Like maybe your mother committed a great evil. And she also, the other thing that crossed my mind, she might be lying to you about why the car's breaking down.

She's like, oh, the dog did it, you know. Thank you. Where she's really, I don't know, selling parts or something. Yeah, maybe she has a weird second life. Yeah. But honestly, that might not be entirely wrong. She loves this dog, though. Yeah.

She loves this dog. Sounds like my sister. I like, we're here. Yeah. Yeah. I would have, I don't advocate beating animals, but if I were to start, this poodle would be on top of my list. Oh, now you don't mean that. No, no, no.

Yeah, you don't mean that. I would never, I swear, would never. Right, right, right. No. If I haven't strangled this poodle, I'm not going to harm other animals. that should tell you something. That doesn't. Thank you for not harming animals.

Corporal punishment does not work. No, no. They get worse. No, I agree. But this dog, I guess I should say that this dog is very, as your patience, all this. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I can imagine.

We know you're not as dog abuse. Yeah, we know you're not. You're not. You're cool. I mean, Wisconsin. Well, never. Zane, thank you so much for calling. Yeah, thanks for talking to me.

Have a nice day. All right. Bye. Well, John, I think that's it. I mean, we're almost at the end of the hour. Yeah. And we normally, we pick a favorite of our calls. Oh, yeah.

Okay. There's the... Gee whiz. Yeah. I like the Martin Sheen, the way the guy, the Martin Sheen guy, painted the picture. You know, that was just a beautiful... He was like, I'm drunk on rum. Yeah.

I like that guy. Yeah. He was a character. I'll go with that. Yeah, because I think we all learned, like, it was educational in terms of, like, if you encounter Martin Sheen in the wild. Yeah. What's the best way to, yeah. Yeah.

Any of these you thought was a total lie? Person that's making it up to do something. No. No? No. Some of them sort of were lacking in what we in the business call a button, which would be like an ending. You know? It was a trailing off of a story.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You need an ending. You had the beginning in the middle. And that you can lie about. As long as it's not like too unbelievable, you can go ahead and lie about it. If you lie about that, it'll make us remember the other parts of the story. Yeah. Well favorably.

Yeah. I mean, you know, and it's whatever. It's just it's the Andrew Richter call-in show for Christy. Look, it's easier for us because we don't have to button it ourselves. Right, exactly. Hey, John, I want to tell everybody, because I didn't say this before. You're in Fallout. You're great in Fallout.

Thank you so much. You're a fucking weirdo in that show. I love it. And you also are hosting the Fallout fake talk show, which is a bonus show online. That must be pretty fun. It's really fun. Yeah. That's been great.

And was that your idea? Their idea did they come to you with that? That was Kiltor Films, Jonah Nolan's company. Their PR department came up with that. And they were just like, hey, we're doing this thing next week. and we built like a set that is kind of like if post-apocalyptic Jimmy Kimmel set. And so we want you to kind of come in and interview the cast. And I said, okay.

Yeah. And then I did it. Yeah. That's sweet. It was great. And it kind of worked out. That's online. The links are like near.

That's online. Okay. Check out my Instagram, Johndailygram.com. All the episodes are up and we got a great one coming out this Thursday. All right. Great. Yeah. And all of fallouts, sorry I'm supposed to say, is online today.

So everyone can check out every single episode. Yeah, well, turn off your radio and go watch Fallout right now. Yeah. All right, everybody, thank you so much for calling. Next week, we'll be back to talk about, well, it's kind of a Valentine's theme. Young, Dumb Love, Vinnie Thomas, who's hilarious, will be here. Leave us a voicemail at 855-266-2-404 or fill out the Google form in my social bio with your story, and we may put you on the air. John Daly, be safe out there.

Thanks so much. Thanks for having me. It's great having you. You got to come back. Every talk show, every podcast should be a call-in show. Oh, it's the best. It's so fun. It's so great.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, thank all of you for calling and keeping us going and providing all this fun. And I'll see you next week. Conan Oprah.