The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Jon Glaser

Episode Date: June 20, 2023

Jon Glaser (Parks & Rec, Adult Swim) joins Andy Richter to discuss their time working together at Late Night with Conan O'Brien, why Jon loves playing assholes, the joys of trail running, the Detroit Bad Boys, and much more.

all right let's start podcasting hello everyone uh this is andy richter and you are listening to the three questions and i uh today is one of those days uh that is my favorite because I just get to talk to an old friend, pry into their personal life, ask them all kinds of uncomfortable questions that I would never have the nerve to ask outside of a podcast, but I'm talking to the very very funny uh writer actor um dad producer uh commercial spokesman uh john glazer hi commercial spokesman didn't you do john from delocated for a product of some kind oh well that was a while ago yeah that was like a just that was a one-off thing for delocated. What was it?

It was Pizza or something, wasn't it? No, it was Subway. Subway, Subway. Yeah, we did some kind of promotion with Subway where we shot a Delocated character as if the character got hired to be the spokesman for Subway. Right. And so we did a few spots. I think they only aired on Adult Swim,

but it was pretty stupid and pretty fun. And it was like, kind of like you're seeing the commercial get filmed, but then they actually put them on the air. It was really funny. And now it did subway actually pay for it. Yeah. Oh, see, that's hilarious. They were, yeah, they had to approve it. There's so many weird things like with advertising where they will occasionally put up money to do something just kind of weird that doesn't make any sense.

And it's just the best. It is like when Tim and Eric did, I think something, what was it for purple mattresses? And they just got to do these Tim and Eric style spots and it was just great. Like more. Or absolute vodka, the ones with zach galifianakis and they're all wearing like beehive wigs oh yeah because there's so much like corporate fear about that's going to be frowned upon this is a hard tangent but it makes me think of i remember when we were when i don't know if you were still at were you still at conan when bob dole was on

yes i guess At least once. I just remember it was after the election, after he lost. Yeah. He came on the show and he was hilarious. Yeah. He's very funny and very charismatic. He just dropped any pretense of being a politician. Yeah.

Talking in that way. And it just, I remember thinking if he had just done that, he might've won. Yeah. Because he was himself. He was. And so much along that line, like there should be more weird spots. I mean, there's plenty, I guess now there are more, you know, cinematically looking really cool. And one of my dreams is to just make it like an aspirin commercial.

Like it's not comedy. It's just, and people were like, what is that Glaser? Yeah. Is this, is this a joke thing i don't i don't i never and then it's just not it's just i never saw the video for it but will ferrell you know there's like i think they're called like troy built brush mowers that you'd see ads for late at night and it's like a big you know it's like a big lawnmower thing but it like cuts down brush and i can't i don't know if he got to do it or not but he approached them and said like let me be in it in one of these just cutting brush with no like no billing and no nothing like just so that people

would be watching this and be like hey that's Will Ferrell cutting brush and I can't remember if they let him do it or not or if I just imagined it in my mind because oh my god it would make me so happy yes for him to do that yeah now let me let me admit I want to just interject with this because I actually just wrote I saw a commercial literally in this past week. I think I was watching a game and there's a commercial for this dog food company called Fresh Pet. Yeah. And the commercial was like seniors and their senior dogs. And the commercial was like seniors and their senior dogs. Guy and his little pug and they're doing yoga together. And the dog's like

sitting up on its hind legs and i remember watching and you know you can see the sheath of its penis no one gives a shit about that that's just a dog i'm telling you like i know i'm into it i mean listen we all yeah yeah sure well listen you see in the commercial in the commercial like i know that one of the first things i notice is just because you see the guy and it's got his name next to it his head on the screen like william 79 and then the pug like charlie nine so your eye goes to like the font like the the idea of the guy down to the idea of the dog. And you can't not notice the, the sheet. And also the red tip of his red dick is sticking out in a little doggy lipstick. Yes.

Yeah. And I remember watching going, what the fuck? Nobody noticed that the DP, somebody noticed it and they let it go. Clearly like there's no way that gets through yeah that many levels including the edit yep where i thought i hope that i hope they left that in i hope that was just like a bucket bucket leave it in yeah no one's gonna care it made me laugh

so hard and then i like couldn't help myself i I wrote the company like, Hey, I want to make you aware that the dirty red tip of this dog's filthy dick is sticking out. And I don't need to see that when I'm watching whatever. And so I've sent these like stupid emails and I'm waiting for a response. And you haven't heard back? Well, I got in touch with someone cause there's a live chat. So I had a live live chat sent this really long stupid like message yeah yeah and i was like i'm in the business i know how this works i know the

chain of command the things have to go through you're gonna tell me no one spotted this yeah this is not an accident yeah and then i ended up by saying at the all that said i hope this was intentional and you know and so i sent that email and then i actually got a response that included like just pitch script like thanks for reaching out you know our customers love the high quality of fresh pet like and i'm like and i wrote back i'm not looking for a stock answer i want to know how this dog's red dick ended up on screen on TV. I think it's probably, you know, it causes a good association in the consumer's mind, you know?

Yeah. My dog's happy. Yeah. Excitement, you know, red is a festive color. And it's also just natural. These are, you're the type of dog owner that wants the best for your pet and you're going to roll with that kind of thing. That's right. And also that dog's old. God bless him that he's still, he's still, you know, still managing to get that lipstick unfurled.

Yeah. You should feel actually like you should feel good about it. And you know, it's a by-product of this high quality food. Yeah. should feel good about it and you know it's a byproduct of this high quality food yeah you know i actually have a frequent criticism of this podcast is that we talk about dog dicks all the time right at the top of the show like 80 of the time i and people just you know bring it up you know dog dicks you know it's a It's a pretty... It makes sense.

Yeah, sure. Meredith Vieira, she couldn't stop talking about dog dicks when she was on this thing. And it's always at the top. It's at the top. It's weird. It's weird. It's at the tip of the podcast. Oh, yeah. Just peeking out

right at the front. The red dick of the podcast. This is the podcast's red dick is the beginning. It's just sticking out. Now, when you get deeper, you realize what's really going on underneath. Oh, that's a good one. Underneath the sheath. Beneath the sheath. I think you just pitched your own podcast. Beneath the sheath. I think you just got, you just pitched your own podcast. Beneath the sheath.

Yeah. Or should it be apostrophe, apostrophe neath, neath the sheath. It depends on if you're trying to go highbrow or trying to be more folksy. True. Good point. Well, let's start at your beginning. You're from Michigan. Why?

Why am I from Michigan? Yeah. getting you're from michigan why why am i from michigan yeah i guess that would be because um you know the grandparents kind of ended up there yeah had their children in michigan and uh that's where i that's where i was pushed out was in michigan that's correct i'm just testing you um and and you were it's kind of outside of Detroit, right? It was a Detroit suburb called Southfield, which is not that far out. It's only about a half hour. It wasn't rural. It's not like when you really get out of the suburbs, it's pretty rural country, especially up north in Michigan.

Yeah. Do you have, I think you have a sister? Do you have a sister? I do have a sister. Maggie. It's just the two of you? Just the two of us. She's do have a sister. Maggie. It's just the two of you? Just the two of us. She's two and a half years younger.

She's still in Michigan. My dad passed away in 2016, but he was in Michigan. My stepmom's still there. My mom's still there. Stepdad. So my immediate family is there. Does it still feel like home when you go back? It does.

And especially my mom lives in a town called Ann Arbor, which is where I went to college. The University of Michigan is there. And I really love Ann Arbor. It's such a beautiful city. It's a really cool town once you get into the college campus and all that. And then the further out you get, it's just gorgeous. And so I really like getting back i haven't been back i don't know if i've been back since the pandemic but uh i think they've been out to visit but yeah i haven't been back in a while but i do really love anna yeah and it does feel like and i'll i don't think i'll ever feel like a new yorker even though i think i've lived here now just about the same amount of time or maybe more

than I lived in Michigan. Yeah. But I don't think I'll ever fully feel like I'm a New Yorker. Yeah. It's just, I still feel like this is where I'm from, like sports teams. That's just all Detroit. Yeah. You know, it's weird to think about how long I've been here. It's very strange. Do you think that you have like a,'s a midwesternism to sort of to you and how you kind of you know especially like being in show business uh i know it's kind of i mean the first thing that makes me think of it's not so much like a personality trait or mindset or anything like that it's just i'm always aware of of my, just my Midwest accent when it pops. Yeah.

You know, in ways that I'm, I almost feel like I try to be aware of it because I don't like, like hard consonants, like hard, farm, socks. Yeah. When I first moved here to New York, I, or maybe no, it was after I first moved here for in 96 and then I moved back in 98 when I got hired at Conan. And I remember going, for whatever reason, I just was looking for socks. And I thought, I live near an Urban Outfitters and just thought, oh, I bet they have some decent socks there. I don't know why.

I thought, yeah, Urban Outfitters, socks. But I went there and there's these two young teens or late teens working there. I'm like, go approach them. It was a young man and a young woman. I said, you guys carry socks? And both of them, in a second, both went, socks, socks, do we have socks? Just started fucking ripping me and my Midwest accent.

And I was so, I'm like, fuck you, say socks. Let me hear you say socks. but I'm sure it popped and I yeah I was traumatized and then I hide I hide my accent but I'll still hear it pop yeah here and there even with the word I'll do the same thing where I'll hear it sometimes and I'll and I especially hear it you know like when I talk to my siblings that live back in Illinois and I'll hear, you know, like my sister talk about her dad, you know, and, and, and then I find myself too, when I go back, I fall. But I mean, I have a thing where I ended up talking like the person that I'm talking to. I don't know if it's like an actor thing or just cause like, it's fun to talk in accents or if it's like it, right.

You know, like an urge is also an actor thing. It's just, you know, that, yeah, that kind of urge to just do bits and yeah. Well,

put the person at ease. I think the first time, like I'm hearing the accent and I think on some subconscious, I'm thinking, Oh, can I, can I talk like that and then I start to mimic it and then and then it's also kind of like oh they think I'm

one of them whatever them is you know um or they think this fucking asshole is mocking me to my face socks holy shit man I mean it really was funny as hell, even though I was so annoyed. But goddamn. Sacks! Sacks! You're one of the fam. Fuckers. Like, they didn't have an accent.

Oh, goddamn it. It was so fucking infuriating. But it was nice. Did you grow up being a big fan of comedy? I mean, I know sports is like a huge presence in your life. Yeah, man. I got my bad boys hat on. I see that.

The Detroit bad boys. What is that? Is that just generally all Detroit teams? No, their basketball team, their professional basketball team is called the Pistons. And they won back-to-back championships in the late 80s right with dennis rodman and rodman isaiah thomas bill lambeer rick mahorn and they played a very physical style of that brand of basketball and they became known as the bad boys and uh that was their nickname and there was like a rolling stone magazine cover with Bill Lambert and Rick Mahorn wearing black muscle tees and sunglasses and holding a deflated ball on the rim and looking tough, bad boys. And it just became their persona.

And it's so dumb, but I love it. It's so funny. Yeah, yeah. I'll actually tell a very quick story. It's really stupid. So when I was in college, I think it was my senior year when they won their first championship. I think it was 89 or 90. And they had this, so this guy that I just mentioned, Rick Mahorn, if you don't know him, he was like a real like bruiser type basketball

player. I remember, I remember what he looked like, you know? Yeah. He was a tough player. I loved him. You know, it's not like the most skilled guy, but a really good basketball player, but physical, he was a force. And after the Pistons won their first championship, there was an expansion draft. I think it might've been for Toronto. It doesn't matter. So each team had to leave one or two players unprotected and the Pistons left Mahorn unprotected. And the rat, whoever, whatever team took him. And I was so mad because he was one of my favorite players. But I'm not like a 10-year-old kid. I'm like 20, 21-year-old adult.

And like, what? I can't believe they left him. Just getting like petulantly mad. And at the time, I was keeping a journal that I would maybe do an entry in like once every three months, like just not even a good job of keeping a jerk, but I was so mad. And I have this journal,

I think somewhere in storage. Yeah. I hope I do. Cause I, I did a journal entry about it. Like, Oh my God, I can't believe the,

this happened. Like the piston just wonons just won their first championship and they left Rick Mahorn unprotected. And he got taken up by this other team. I mean, we're the bad boys and he's the baddest. I wrote that. I wrote that. Unironically.

Unironically. All capitals. If you were to open it it you'd probably see it's like aggressive handwriting like angry we're the bad boys and he's the baddest god damn it and i think it was maybe the first year of the pandemic and my friend got me a rick mahorn cameo for my birthday and so i just have that video on my phone that I'll watch every now and then. And it's just so weird. Just to make yourself happy.

Oh, it's so funny. Yeah. It's so funny. And then I do, when I was even, when I was very little or much, you know, I think it was in early high school. I actually did see Rick Mahorn in the car in traffic, like in suburban, in Southfield where I grew up. And I remember kind of like, so if you're Rickick mahorn and this is me this is what he sees you know like some little kid i was probably low in the seat you know and just kind of like sitting in traffic and i look over and like so he sees a kid recognize him and he you could tell he like didn't give a shit he's

like yeah but he but he can't be a dick and he just kind of went like like with this like begrudging like smiling all right that's right happy like and and i was so like oh he didn't want to do that well he's not a good boy he's a bad boy he's a bad boy he's a bad boy and you were a good boy and he your natural enemies good boy meets bad boy can't you tell my loves you are one of the most sort of intense i mean of all you know like everybody that we know is like usually not that much matters to anybody but you like and i mainly remember it because you and i used to play golf when we lived in new york and you were learning to play golf and you used to get so mad because you weren't instantly good at it and we would always say like it was like me and john benjamin and and matt walsh and we'd always who had played longer

and we and we weren't fantastic or anything, but we'd say like, man, you're just learning, cut yourself some slack, but you just, I mean, you're just so intense about stuff. And are you like that? And in so many, like, is it hard for you to not be good at something that you really want to be good at? I think it's certainly used to. Maybe not so much now, because that is something that I've tried to just work on as a person, just whether it's sports or athletics or anything, really,

where it's just relax. Just try to enjoy it. I remember that makes me think very specifically of right when I got the Conan job, they had this Monday morning basketball game at chelsea pier it's just the writers yeah i was really excited for that and i'm way too competitive when i play and michael gordon asked you know it was all the writers no one's that good and yeah they're like not great but i'm like out there trying to be competitive. Some of them actually are just plain old nerds, you know, just to have a good time.

Yeah. And I get pissed off, you know, every time I missed a shot, damn it. Just, and Michael Gordon, after one of the games, he said, do you even enjoy it? And I remember saying to him, like, like my first response was what kind of fucking, I didn't say that's him. In my mind, I'm like, what kind of fucking question is that? I love basketball. And I just said to him like, yeah, of course. And I remember later going, why?

Really started thinking like, maybe he's right. I am always annoyed. And so I don't know, over the years and even with whatever, I haven't played golf in years, but yeah, that's been a real problem, especially with sports. Why do you think that was? I mean, do you think like, is it just like a part of your personality? You know, I mean. I don't know. I think there was just, you know, wanting to be good.

Yeah. Being competitive. I really do genuinely enjoy sports, but I think it was just, I don't know what it is. It must be some kind of insecurity, right? Like, because you're worried that other people might think you're not good. And even if they do, but even if they do, who gives a shit? Yeah. And, and I mean, and you were surrounded by people, at least when I knew you, who were saying like, you're relax, you know, like, don't worry about it. This is an impossible sport.

Yeah. Yeah, it is. And I think, I think I'm not as intense about that stuff anymore, but I haven't played golf in a while. I'm sure one bad shot or I don't know, man, I do think I've maybe relaxed. Mellowed. Yeah. T do think I've maybe relaxed. Mellowed. Yeah.

Kids helps. Kids helps do that. Kids give you some patience on, you know, and not to be so, it makes me wonder like, were, were you, was there an insistence that you be good at things? No, I don't recall. Like my dad was a very, very good basketball player. He never put pressure on me to even play sports, let alone. No, I don't recall anything like that.

I think it was just maybe that's just- Just a part of your makeup. Yeah. I played going into high school. It was wanting to play sports. I'm going to play soccer, basketball, baseball. I did for the first couple of years. And then my junior year, I didn't play basketball because I wasn't good enough to make varsity.

Yeah. And then I gave up baseball to try out for a play. So that's where I kind of took that turn into theater. And here we are. And here we are. Well, that actually leads a question that I was going to say. When you started performing, because you kind you started doing comedy with a group in college and which i'm sure you don't remember but i'm telling you you did um but was it hard for you starting out in comedy like were you hard on yourself when you're learning because i mean

you know everybody's got a bomb when they start. Yeah, more so, you know, I tried doing stand-up, and, you know, if I had, like, not a good night, I'd be really hard on myself, and it took a very long time for me to just stop giving a shit about that.

But, yeah, when I was first starting off, which I think is pretty natural, you want to do well. It doesn't feel good when it doesn't go well. Yeah. And so nothing like that felt too extreme. I don't know if I was extra hard on myself or not. I don't think so.

I mean, when you say that, that's what popped in my head. Like, oh yeah, I guess when I was first starting off, it was, now it's like, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that just comes with experience right exactly yeah you that's one of the things that i like i don't people have a hard time well i mean there's different philosophies on how to do this kind of stuff but but just you have to get to the point where it doesn't matter that much you know like where if you got a bad night especially you know the do an improv or like doing like the conan show you know if a bit doesn't work it's not you know it's done it's

gone you know i i always used to say it's a you know that we were laying track for a train that we could hear coming you know there was no time to to be all precious about anything that would that would get done and so you know and improv was like that too because you're not writing a script like you know you're just you're just fucking around you're just trying stuff and usually the audiences i think are kind of they understand that and they're they're willing to go along with you, you know, and they know you're just making this up. Although I was always amazed that people, even in Chicago, people would be like, so you guys really just made all that up? And I was like, yeah, it would have been better if we had written it, you know, it would have been a lot, a lot, a lot more tightly packaged. So, yeah, but people that, but people that don't go through

the training and understanding about what it actually takes, I mean, it is... And listen, I will say this. Before I talk about improv, I will say that I hate improv talk. It drives me fucking nuts. But at the same time, I get it.

It really can be. When you watch people that are good at improv it's pretty mind-blowing it's really incredible to see the things that people just come up with on the spots some people are just exceptional at it and it's it's kind of incredible so absolutely for an audience even something that to you you know it's not that great but for an audience, even something that to you, you know, it's not that great, but for an audience, like, Oh my God, that's pretty incredible that they just did that. Yeah. Yeah.

And so it is cool, but yeah, I, the same token very quickly, it's painful to watch bad improv. Oh my fucking God. It's so, there's so much of it now.

Like, that's, that's what's amazing to me. It's like, it's become a cliche like that you know all my roommates and roommates in an improv group and we got to go see it like i i'm amazed at how much and you know and i mean i think a lot of that's the ucb is responsible for a lot of that i think you know um just because those you know the what they did in New York and then, and then in

LA for, you know, a short amount of time, I think really made everybody who is even sort of half funny go, oh yeah, I should go take classes there. I should go get into that, you know? So you're saying that it's, so you're almost like blaming them. Yeah, I am. I am. I am. They're the ones, they created this virus in their lab, in their wet market of comedy. And then it got out on the street and now there's kids everywhere.

But that goes back, like even when I was taking classes at Second City and ImprovOlympic, like, you know, there were people that were just, you know, they weren't looking to do this for a living. They were just there having fun, which can be simultaneously like, oh, that's great, and also fucking annoying. No one should feel bad for doing it. It's just for people

like ourselves, we're there to really try to do some heightened comedy. You've got people like, well, let's go make the funny. That's like, when someone says the phrase go make the funny yeah you know and that's like a i just when someone says the phrase make the funny you know i just want to lose my fucking mind it's just i it's i hate that i just think it's so annoying and gross and yeah oh whatever i hate i'm such a judgmental asshole whatever it's just from my experience in chicago because i would

some of the different groups that i would work with were the levels of everything, whether it's talent, there were people on the stage who's, you know, our household names now with people who are not household names now. And I always found that kind of working, working with the people. Well, there was one group that I was with and there was one performer with our group who was absolutely terrible, but didn't know how terrible they were but had all the enthusiasm in the world and would go out first for every single thing and there would be times back it got to the point where the whole group backstage this person would go out and everyone in the group would like turn and look at me like are you going to go throw yourself on this grenade and it was it was interesting and it did usually end up

being me that would do it and it was an interesting experiment because you could just like smother this person with agreeing with whatever they, because it was constant denial, denial, denial of everything. You know, you'd say, you know, well,

the ocean looks good today. And this person would be like, you can't see the ocean from this bakery, you know, you know, well, that's different. Then they're,

then they're just, that's fucking annoying. Yes. It was annoying because, because it's also, if you're not doing it properly, like I don't want to be judgmental and mean to someone that's just there to take the class because they want to have fun. But if you can't even follow the most basic rules of this, then, oh God, that was, that shit. Yeah, that's pretty annoying. If you smother them with agreement, the audience ends up going like, oh, I see what he's doing and they like it, you know? Yeah. But I never was mad at the person.

I was mad at the person that said, yes, you can come get on our stage. You know, like somebody has to tell that person. Yeah. You know what? Sweetheart, darling, maybe not. This isn't for you, you know, but that's a different conversation too. And now this,

it does bring up because you, another thing that you love assholes, like you, so many of your characters are such hilarious. Like John from Delocated. He doesn't love assholes. I know, but I mean, but you in particular, i know which is i know you know what you know what i mean like like that's a good sentence you love ass well but it's i mean but it is like you fall into those characters and you just seem to

like like you're luxuriating in a bath you you know, like just, you know, John from Delocated or the werewolf hunter guy. I can't remember. What was that guy's name? Neon, Neon Joe. Neon Joe. Like just amazing. Like, just like, like so hilariously jerky, you know? And, and do you end up like finding assholes in your life like like someone that

even approaches john from delocated or neon joe i mean although neon joe is so bizarre um but do you do you like find people like that in life and then kind of study them and take notes on them and sort of soak up their asshole ishness no i've never done anything like that i i'm not that deep of an actor as far as you know unless i got a job where it's just doing something very specific i just you know i just find that caricature and that type of character funny. I've thought about it plenty. Why do I think that's so funny? Why am I so good at it?

I've had a book idea about why am I good at being an asshole? I think there's something funny about thinking about that, why it comes so easily to me. But at the same time, I just think it's good comedy. You get to say all the great lines that are so obnoxious. It's a really fun attitude to play. This high stakes, the smug, confident. Conan and I very much shared that

affinity for the overconfident douchebag that does not have the brainpower to back up the attitude. I excel at playing assholes. Yeah. You know, that does not have the brain power to back up the attitude. Yeah. I excel at playing assholes. And it's, well, it's funny.

What's funny to me is that it's like so many of them. I mean, it's, you are like polar opposite a lot. You know, I like, you know, you're not. I hope so. You know, you really. Like, you know, you're not. I hope so. You know, you really.

I've given that plenty of thought as the, as the years go by where it's like, I'll catch myself never saying something as obnoxious as the characters, but, you know, getting mad about something and being a little pithy and be like, it's a blurred line sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, it's, it's always stick or there's an irony there when you're doing it in that way. But you're not, I mean, cause some people, some people, their comedic, you know, sort of identity is, you know, like a, a version of themselves, you know, and like a lot of the characters that they do are kind of like amped up versions of different parts of their personality. But so much of what you do, like you're not a boastful guy. You don't have like some huge high opinion of yourself.

Like you're not like a sexist pig, you know, you're not, well, you know, you, you don't, you're not combative with people like,

you know, and those, all these characters that you're are just so out there. Do you think maybe there's something about them that you like? Like you like how unguarded they are? That's an interesting, funny question. I mean, yeah, maybe. I mean, someone, I don't know.

I haven't given it that much thought. Yeah. But maybe there is something to that. Like just people who are actually like that. And you always like even playing Councilman jam on parks and rec, it always felt like no one's this big of an asshole. Yeah. And then especially, and I don't want this to get political, but especially with the

Trump years, it's like, oh, there actually are total fucking assholes like that. And they've all been empowered to say whatever the fuck they want yeah so it's a real bummer can't you tell my love what what first brought you to new york and i mean and how did that happen because you were in chicago doing second city um and, what was the first gig that brought you there? David Carvey brought me to New York. David Carvey show

writing job. And how, and how did you get that job? You know, I ended up, I auditioned for the show. Yeah. Smigel was the

executive producer. And, you know, I had, this was 1995 and there was a big SNL audition that summer. So a lot, and I was a big SNL audition that summer.

And I was doing main stage at the time. And a lot of us, everybody auditioned. And so I didn't get it, but I got to go to New York and go through the audition process and all that. Didn't get it. Didn't get offered a writing job. And Smigel, because he had the relationship at SNL, he asked for all the audition tapes so he could look at. He really liked mine. He was friends with Tom Giannis, who was the director of Second City, of the show I did.

And he got in touch with Tom and said, hey, tell Glazer I liked his audition. Have him do that for his audition. That was kind of exciting. Did that for the audition. Didn't get hired, but they did ask if I was interested in submitting as a writer. And I had never thought of myself as a writer, ever. And this one just felt like I can't, you know, if it was a sitcom, I might have said no. But this just felt like I have to try here.

It's too cool of an opportunity. And so I just wrote some sketches at home and just tried to think of whatever and wrote them up. And I think they flew me out for an interview in November. And I remember it was at the time Smigel, Louie, Dino, and Mike Stojano. Louie CK, Dino Stamatopoulos. Dino Stamatopoulos, Mike Stojano. They were the only guys there. I met those guys and it was just like hanging out

and shooting the shit and that was it. Then I went back to New York probably that night or to Chicago. Didn't hear anything. This was in November, probably before Thanksgiving. Didn't hear anything to the end of the year. Assumed I didn't have it. Didn't get it.

The new year comes and goes. We're starting to rehearse a new second city show with mcnapier so i was actually really excited he's a for listeners that don't know very legendary improv instructor founder of the annoyance theater really talented guy and i was excited to do a show with him and then i I got a call. We were rehearsing. I get a call. Hey, there's a phone call for you in the office. And they were telling me I got hired and had to be there a week. Wow.

I packed up my shit, flew there, had some friends drive it for me. And so, yeah, that's how I started living in New York. Pretty crazy. Yeah. And between Dana Carvey and Late Night, there was no interruption or? No, I had two writing jobs in between because after Dana Carvey, which was short lived, I decided to stay in New York for a little bit and try to get hired at SNL maybe as a writer and that didn't happen. And I tried getting hired at Conan. That took, I think, three rounds of submitting.

Yeah, but Smigel was really helpful getting my stuff shown and working on a packet. And then I ended up getting a couple jobs in LA. So I moved there at the end of 96 and lived there for all of 97 and then the winter of 98. And I moved back here in April 98 for Conan and been here winter of 98. And I moved back here in April 98 for Conan and been here since.

Yeah. When you left Conan, did you have the deal to do Delocated or did you? No, I just left Conan because I, you know, it had just run its course. It got to the point where I felt like this is just the time. How long had it been? It was almost five. It was five years almost

to the day. So it's a pretty good chunk of time. And I also knew that I wanted to pursue acting and kind of try to get back into that if I could. And also get out before I was really just, well, I can't leave now. If I had a family and kids or just being there for so long, there's so many benefits, but I was not enjoying it as much. And it was always a great job, but the gap between how fun and the annoying stuff where it was really wide at first, it just was like neck and neck and it would never go the other way. It was always just going to hover like this. And so I just left to try to do whatever was next and delocated came up several years later

where i kind of just wanted to try to do something with that character not the specific joke that i did on conan but more the general archetype and this smug asshole which was more the focus of the general archetype and this smug asshole, which was more the focus of the guy, um, right. But then the Joker, and even though I'm Conan, that, you know,

the impressionist, he still had that hyper confidence and that smugness to him. And he was a hack. Yeah. Yeah. But that was still the driving thrust for the guy as a human being. So that, and that was where that came from was,

and for people that don't know, you used to do a bit where you were an impressionist who was in the witness protection program, right? Correct. And that was something that was actually in my packet for Conan. I just had this idea and I had actually done it live, um,

in LA at a couple of shows where I just had like a vocal harmonizer that I would plug into the mic and then plug into an amp. So when I talked in the mic, the garbled voice came out of the amp. I was doing that guy live who was just this smug impressionist that thought his impressions were so good that he was going to risk his life to go

out to do an open mic night and do these shitty fucking impressions. But they all shouted like that. That was a dumb joke. But he was real smug, really arrogant. And that's where Elocated sort of came from, is wanting, like, I just love doing that character stuff.

She was so fun to play this kind of dick. And even that, like like pitched it to comedy central first they said no and then that was a year or so later when adult swim was kind of starting to become this big thing and they were just starting to do live action so it was really good timing it was an amazing cast too i mean he had the i just, I just, I just had Zoe Lister Jones on, on this podcast and, uh, Eugene Merman was in it. Kevin Dorff was in it. Uh, you know, really, you know, you've got great people to be in that.

And it was, it was also like, there was something that I loved about cause reality TV was kind of newish and just the notion of, you know, it was just, it was interesting to be like, I'm exposing everything, but I can't expose anything. And it just, and it, you know, and doing this might kill me like that. You know, just, it was the stakes of it were just interesting because it was all, you know, the notion that it's real, but it's not real. And, you know, it was all very timely and very, you know, I wish it was on a bigger network, you know, because I feel like, I mean, are there a lot of people? Well, first of all, do people even know that it's you? Like, do they, like, I imagine even if you had a big hit show, nobody would know because you had a ski mask on the entire show, right?

Pretty much. I got recognized once, which I thought was hilarious, where I was at a Vietnamese sandwich shop and at the register paying. And the guy's looking at me. He's like, are you the guy from Delocated? And I just started laughing. I'm like, yeah. How did you tell? Because it's not like you recognize the voice.

The voice is modulated, pitched down. He's like, just tell your eyes. So even just from because the eye holes in the mask were pretty big, which I think helped for the expressiveness of the quiet moments. But it was really, really, really funny that someone actually did recognize me from that. Yeah, yeah. As far as the whole genesis of the show, it was just reality TV, which I think is mostly

awful. People that are fame whores, it's just disgusting. It's disgusting. Has it been hard remaining in New York? You know, the notion, you know, people will say to me, who's still in New York? And it's kind of like you and like three other people.

Everybody seems to have come to LA. And I guess I want to just kind of know what it's like to continue working in comedy, both as an actor and as, as a, you know, a producer of things, as an author of things and, and doing it from New York and whether you feel that it's a benefit or a, or a detriment. It certainly is harder, I think. You know, I just made a decision and then I kind of got lucky where I was able to, you know, I wanted to, when I quit Conan, spend a little time there. I didn't want to just move to LA. I wanted to just be in New York and maybe see if I could get anything going here. You know, I really, as much as I get sick of living here, like I've had one foot out the door probably for a couple of decades, you know, or at least 10 years of just, but things worked out very fortunately as far as getting to make my own thing and then getting to make another show and then my gear show. And so as far as getting on a really fortunate role of work, which then included some other supplemental things like, you know, doing Parks and Rec, which was in LA. Yeah.

But I would fly back and forth for them. Yeah. And then Girls was... Yeah. Girls was here, and I auditioned for that. I didn't know them. Yeah. But it's harder.

I think just because the majority of stuff is in LA, it's easier to get just one-off jobs. Yeah. Not that they're plentiful, but there is more than here. But you know, that's just the way things worked out. And at some point the kids were, I have two kids and they were, I think, old enough that it wouldn't have felt right to just let's uproot and move across country because for me. Yeah. We almost did though. Like in 2014, we seriously considered we seriously remember we talked about it

at one point i think well it came from this really shitty thing where we were living in a brownstone that we were renting like i've never owned a place which is another thing like i wish i should have done this and should have done this like it's one of those and i'm pretty much better now about not even indulging that because it's a waste of time yeah you know we never bought a place years ago we've been renting and that drives me nuts even though there's always pros and cons and blah blah blah but sure we we did have this shitty mishap like a really terrifying thing where the ceiling in our brownstone in our apartment collapsed one night in the kids room and and i don't even i don't even know my daughter was one and a half at the time she's in her crib she's got debris it was

the only way it would have been worse is if she was hurt and somehow i don't know how she was not yeah but that was at the time this is like in the spring and it was in between work not really knowing what's going on a lot of talk at home about should we make chihuahua to la because the kids were at this point still young enough we could probably do it like my son would have been finishing up elementary school starting a new school anyway and that felt like a sign like that's new york saying time to go yeah and we did we like it got contentious with our landlord He turned into a cheap piece of shit. How we dealt with it.

He was a fucking asshole. So we put our stuff in storage. We couch hopped to finish out the year because we knew we were considering moving. We didn't want to get an apartment. It was really not fun. It was so stressful. We had a dog in a wheelchair that was basically on her last legs. Massively stressful.

And we ended up going to LA at the end of the school year. And we were there for three weeks. And within a week, we felt like this just feels too emotional and angry to move like this. And if we had Yeah. You weren't doing it for a good reason. It just felt weird. It didn't feel right. Now, if we had found like, oh my God, this is a perfect

place to live in a great school zone, we probably would have done it. Yeah. We looked at a few places and then right away felt like we don't even have the time to go look at apartments. You have to get lucky like that. So we right away felt like we don't even have the time to go look at apartments you know it's just you have to get lucky like that so we right away decided let's go back to new york let's see how things go we can always find the time to move here and then we just stayed because then

like neon joe happened then gear happened how the kids are too old to really realistically up and move and start with new friends and school. So it's just been one of these things that on a day-to-day basis, when it is harder being here rather than LA work-wise, I just resigned myself to it because there's plenty of benefits. I still do love living here. We live very close to Prospect Park, which has, and this is going to sound super fucking corny, it has become a total sanctuary for me of just peace. I've gotten into trail running in the last five, six years, and Prospect Park is actually

surprisingly extensive as far as trails. Even if you want to go for a long hike, there's a pretty extensive trail system in there. And I'm just talking about for a park of that size in the middle of Brooklyn, you can feel like you're in the woods. And it's been so beneficial to me mentally just to go on one one hour two hour long trail runs or a long hike and now that we have a dog again and our dog just the dog we got he was a rescue he happens to be a very athletic dog he loves to run he loves to climb and so for me i lucked out now i've got this running buddy and it's just you you know, I just love dogs. And so I'll spend hours in that park, especially, you know, with the weird way we make a living

where there's long gaps of nothing. Well, you gotta, you gotta do something with your time. Yeah. I mean, listen, I should be being a little more proactive right now. And I, it's not like I'm in there all day. Yeah. Yeah. Well, see it.

Where's daddy? Yeah. It's sunset. Well, what do we, uh, I mean, uh, what's the future? What kind of future are you, are you hoping for? Are you looking forward to. You know, in a, in a night, in a perfect world, it would be more time in the woods. Maybe get a place upstate. if we could ever swing that i would just really love to you know between you know hiking and

running and i've also gotten really into what's called gravel cycling which is basically just like it's it's not mountain biking but it's off-road bicycling on more of a road style frame with thicker tires and easier gearing for hills in the rough terrain and i can even do that in the park it's nothing like getting out of the city right i can go for good rides on those same trails i mean i get so much the benefits for me for just you know exercise and nature and having my dog and all that so i hope the future entails a lot of time in nature yeah uh that would be just the best and also being here like where it's a little more green i do like that as opposed to la and i know that's accessible but for me having that right in my basically backyard it's pretty great prospect park is just the absolute best well uh is that it is

that the questions is that three no no there's here comes the last one check it out what have you learned what's all right what's the moral of the john glazer story i guess you know part of it is certainly what we were talking about before, you know, to not, you know, to not be so agitated all the time about everything and to try to roll with things a little better. And, um, as we, as we become speechless with anger and frustration, my God, it's, it's, it's a constant challenge. I mean, you know, but it is like, it's a big part of that is just figuring out what brings you joy, trying to get rid of the detritus. Is that the extra, like the things that just trim the fat and all that and just focus on finding,

I mean, it's, it's just, you can't help, it sounds like an hassle until you find the joy in your life, but it is, it's just, you know, finding out what really, uh, You can't help but sound like an asshole until you find the joy in your life. But it is. It's just finding out what can be the best use of your time. And do I want to spend my days being pissed off about everything? No. So as I've gotten older, it's hoping for more of that. Is that what the question was?

Where do you go? Oh, what have you learned? So it's just a lot of that. Is that what the question was? Where you go? Oh, what have you learned? So it's just a lot of that. Just trying to maintain more of an even keel. Not worry about things so much, which is obviously easier said than done. But I have found just being more conscious of that kind of thing and getting in the mental habit

of kind of monitoring yourself and make sure you're being more conscious of that kind of thing and getting in the mental habit of monitoring yourself and make sure you're being more aware of the times when I could choose to go down the road of like, God damn it, fuck all this and not doing that. And it takes time and practice to start getting to that mindset, but it's certainly helpful. So I hope it's just a lot of that. A lot of time on my bike, kids, dog, family and all that shit. And just, yeah, I don't know, man, just trying not to worry so much.

Maybe that's the thing. Well, John, thank you so much for taking the time. It's good talking to you. Of course. Hope to see you soon. Anyway, thanks for listening, everybody. And thanks for talking to me, John. And I'll be back next week, all you people out there with another Three Questions. The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco production. It is produced by Sean

Daugherty and engineered by Rich Garcia. Additional engineering support by Eduardo Perez and Joanna Samuel. Executive produced by Nick Liao, Adam Sachs, and Jeff Ross. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, with assistance from Maddie Ogden. Research by Alyssa Grahl. Don't forget to rate and review and subscribe to The Three Questions with Andy Richter wherever you get your podcasts. And do you have a favorite question you always like to ask people? Let us know in the review section.

Can't you tell my love's a-growing? Can't you feel it ain't a-showing? Oh, you must be a-knowing. I've got a big, big love. This has been a Team Coco production.