The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Julia Stiles

Episode Date: August 23, 2022

Julia Stiles joins Andy Richter to talk about growing up in New York, acting from a young age and wanting to direct, and her new movie Orphan: First Kill.

uh hi everyone it's andy richter and you are listening to the three questions and i am uh talking today to an actress that everyone knows, has known for years. She's been doing this since she was a baby, practically. I'm talking to Julia Stiles. How are you? Hi, good. Now, yes, I'm very good. Good, good.

I'm glad. Thank you for it's been a rush of a morning for you. I know that. So. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And also, I find that the yes i've been i'm but i'm present here now i can focus on i understand i understand but you can talk about

it i'm not oh yeah no i was yeah yeah um yeah no it's always it's so i feel like everybody's familiar with that um you have your home recording studio set up and ready to go but every time you think that i would get it together to have everything set up and just leave it there but instead it seems like every time i'm scrambling to and also like um uh you know distractions from home yeah yeah distractions from home yes yes well do you uh i mean throughout covid did you have to do a lot of Zoom things? Yeah, I did. Well, then also, so I don't know how my computer broke and I just haven't gotten around to getting it fixed. So I do everything on my phone now. I mean, I know I did go around and get around to getting it fixed and then they told me they couldn't fix it.

And I just haven't, I've somehow been surviving without it. Yeah, yeah. I'm like weirdly like digging my heels in and not buying a new one. Right, right. without it yeah yeah like weirdly like digging my heels in and not buying a new one i don't know right so well yeah are you out uh are you doing some publicity tour right now not a tour but a few days of press yeah yeah i was at serious xm this morning tomorrow i'm going on live with kelly and ryan and then another junket day and And the junkets, so by the time Wednesday rolls around, I'll have it figured out. But the junkets all virtual. Oh, it's all at home?

Mm-hmm. Well, that's at least. I find being at home is more challenging. I think a lot of people know what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah. And, well, can you, like, have your, you know, because, like, well, I mean, my kids are older. My kids are 16 and 21. And all I do is I just take the dog to daycare.

So there's no barking, but I don't have little ones. Because you have two kids, right? I have two kids. The youngest is six months old. Oh, my gosh. And I'm in the phase where I have bionic hearing, where even if he's way, way, way in another room or downstairs, I can still hear the need for mommy. Yes, yes, yes.

And feel the pull. Yeah, the pull in your organs. Yeah. How old is the oldest one? Four and a half. Four and a half. Wow. Yeah, you're in the thick of it. I'm in the thick of it. Yeah. Yeah.

It's pretty great. I'm just, I just am hoping that I can carry on a grownup conversation with you. So apologies in advance. If I can't, we could talk child stuff too. I, you know, that's fine with me. I don't, you know, I don't, the only thing is, is that there is such a huge dividing line. Once you have kids where you're like, yeah, I can talk diapers. I can talk, you know, just the struggle of dealing with a little creature that's constantly in danger that can't speak yet. You know, like all of that kind of thing.

And I also I'm I my girlfriend has a two and a half year old. She's a single mom. Yeah. So, but yeah, it is, it's, it's like I said, my, my kids are 16 and 21 and having a two and a half year old is like, like, oh yeah, right. I remember this. I remember being infuriated by a little willful creature that, that, that won't express themselves in words.

So you don't know what they want and all they do is just do what they want. And, you know, and you just, you know, I just going back to remembering like spending so much of your time going, get in the car, just get in the car, what I'm asking you to do, or just, and then on the other end, get out of the car, just get out of the car. Like it's just, everything's a negotiation and everything's, everything's tough. And so And so my oldest is an amazing negotiator. And the thing is that I know exactly what you're talking about. It can be really frustrating because you are like, please just do this thing that I'm asking you to do.

And then they won't do it. And then the minute they do it, they won't undo it. But the thing that I struggle with is that it's actually a really good character trait. It will serve him really, really well in life. To be such a good negotiator, it's just exhausting sometimes. My daughter especially, I always felt... Because this... She...

From, I think... I mean, she did this for like two years. Literally, every morning. Would say, can I have ice cream? Like, she'd want ice cream for breakfast uh and she wouldn't she would not give it up every morning my ex-wife or i know no you know you can't and and and then and there was also and i mean negotiations are closed was a phrase that i started using when she was like four no more negotiations we're done and and i always felt like this will serve her well

she's already advocating for herself very well and i was especially aware of that just like as a female it's a different world like my son i don't you know boys get to do what boys want to do that's just sort of the way it usually works um did you ever give her ice cream for breakfast no please tell me you did i know we never did we never did ah well you know i'm sure not that i can remember but uh no but you know she probably got it by 10 a.m you know i mean maybe not at seven but you know within a few hours she probably just to make you still feel like you were winning the argument. Right, exactly. No, I mean, that's half of it.

It's just, you know, and when you sort of realize, too, no, they need to know I'm in charge, too. It's the best thing for them. Boundaries, and they like to know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I started using this phrase along the lines of, like, negotiations are closed. I would just, like, go, I don't want to argue that's okay like lighten it up like i don't let's not argue about it let's just not argue about it and my son put on the mother's day card that they make at school i love my mommy because we don't argue that much well that's something which required a

little explanation when i had to show it to people i love my mommy because we don't argue that much it makes me sound like an abuse it makes me sound like an abusive parent she pretty much leaves me alone she's very hands-off uh that's the best now how do you uh one thing i want to because your your your husband works in the film industry too yeah he does he's a camera assistant. And I've always wondered, I mean, because you're in production, you're just in a, you know, an area of production where you get your own room, you get your own toilet. That's, you know, the cushy end of production. But you both, you know, when you go make something, you got to go make something and you got to go somewhere else. And it's, it's like working on an oil rig. And I, and I wonder how you guys pull that off. And before you had kids, how did you, did you have a plan on how to pull that off or did you just

kind of wing it and go into it? Oh, we're winging it currently in the present tense. Yeah, I mean, it is crazy because neither of us up until this point really work where we live. Like, oh, that's not true. We lived in Canada for a while and my husband was working out of there a lot. But I was usually then the one to be the full-time parent. now uh we live in new york and as we speak like out of the with it with like a couple days notice my husband's getting on a plane to go start a movie that's not in this country and um and what we do is we call my parents and we say like they say like emergency um but it's something that we have to figure and we say like, they say like emergency. But it's something that we have to figure out.

We talk about it all the time because especially now we have one kid in school and that becomes a thing and you just, yeah. I mean, you just do, we just try and do the best that we can. Yeah. But it is a lot of, it's like spinning plates, making plans and planning for childcare. And yeah. Yeah. lot of uh it's like spinning plates making plans and planning for child care and yeah yeah it's also too i mean i you know you never know what's going to happen you know you never you can't make a schedule i mean i learned that from because when i worked in film production when i went to film school worked in film production before i even really started performing and somebody that I worked with who did it right. And this was in Chicago, mostly on commercials and industrial films and things like that.

Somebody that was a grownup in that business told me like, just get used to the fact that like budgeting is not really something you can do because you can't rely on, you don't know, you know, like you'll have a month go by where you don't do anything. And then you'll have three months go by where you're constantly busy and you just, it's really hard to judge. And I, and I'm sure that, you know, scheduling wise, it becomes that same thing. It's like, I got this job, I got to take this job. So maybe you don't take job for a couple of months kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. We definitely have those conversations. I think one thing that I learned before kids, I learned from a very young age to save my money because of that, like knowing as a working actor, as a working actor, you know, so on the one hand,

it's like, I'm not cheap, but I can be very frugal. So, like, I learned, you know, that acting, being a working actor, you never know where your next job's going to be. So you've got to have a piggy bank, like, ready for those dry spells. Yeah. Which, yeah, has ended up working out well. Yeah, yeah. Because, especially now, where the kids are kind of the priority, then I can say, like, no, I need to turn this job down because I need to be around.

Right. And you grew up in New York, right? In Manhattan? I did. Yeah. I grew up in Manhattan. I grew up in Soho, which on Green and Grand Street,

like kind of between Soho and Tribeca, Chinatown. But it was very different when I was growing up there. Yes. No, I know. I live there. Until you hung out there. I mean, I lived there in the 90s. And, yeah, it's really shocking the difference there is down there now.

shocking the difference there is now down there now um but so that well that was a you know that's not a very kid-friendly atmosphere or it wouldn't i mean as someone like me who grew up in the midwest it would seem to not be right i know well i i never in a million i always i would always say to my parents like how did you raise kids in a city that's insane? It was all I knew, so I loved it. But then they would be like, oh, are you kidding me? It's the best. And now I find that to be true. I think it doesn't, New York City is the craziest city, and it doesn't make any sense why anyone would want to live here.

It's dirty. It's crowded. It's really expensive. But there's something about the energy of it that totally feeds me and i find that um yeah it's great for kids i mean it's yeah bizarre but they they get a really unique perspective on life and are you in the city now do you do you live in the city now i yeah i live in new york yeah and and yeah yeah in the actual now? Yeah, I live in New York, yeah. Yeah, yeah, in the actual city. Yeah, yeah.

I live in Brooklyn, but. Oh, yeah, but still. But by the way, Brooklyn is part of the city. People always call the city, when they say the city, they mean Manhattan, but actually it's five boroughs. I know that too. Although Staten Island, I mean, if you live in Staten Island, it's kind of tough. That's maybe an annex. You live in New York City, you know. Right, right.

But no, no, I know that. But I mean, I just didn't know if you maybe were in the suburbs or, you know, because, you know, you hear somebody who's got kids that usually aren't like, oh, yes, I'm right downtown, right in the thick of things. Right, right, right, right. With my six-month-old getting – because, yeah, our first kid were we were in new york city we moved out here when he was about a month old or a year old i mean and um so i we i had the experience of hauling a stroller up and down subway steps and just feeling like oh i don't know i i mean my life was arranged in such a way that we ended up moving pretty quickly. But I was like, oh, man, this is rough. Well, yes, they should install working elevators in the subways.

Yes. In every subway station. And apparently they're going to do it by 2055 when I'll probably be dead. But, you know, am I crazy? Maybe I've just drank the Kool-Aid too long. But I've had that experience, too. And, you know, I always marvel that usually 99.9% of the time somebody will offer to help me lift the stroller up or down the stairs. That is true.

And then you've got to be careful, like, who is this person? But at the same time, you know, New Yorkers do really have a way of reaching out and helping each other out for the most part, I think. Yeah. And I'm talking even when I have a mask on it's not like they recognize me no i know i know of mine yeah yeah and also if they recognize you they probably say something else oh yeah i mean with friends where the same thing has happened and yeah yeah and i always find recognition in manhattan is is much uh it's a very low-key, almost blasé kind of recognition. Like, oh yeah, it's you.

Yep, hi. You know, it's not like out somewhere else where they're not used to seeing people that they recognize. Can't you tell my love's a-growing? can't you tell my love's growing so you were at growing up down there you ended up performing and you're not like i know your your mom's an artist is she a performing artist or is she a visual artist she did she makes she of the mugs that was on Conan. Like, that was one of the mugs that was on his desk. That would make sense.

Yeah, yeah. Yes. Yeah, he had, because he had, well, he had a series of them. And one was a present from Greg Daniels, who was his kind of ceramics places where he painted it himself and it had like a cartoony caricature of Conan. And I think he wanted to preserve that. So they made facsimiles of it. Yeah.

Just in case, you know, cause you never know when something's going to get smashed. But yeah, that's great. That's, you know, it's a get smashed um but yeah that's great that's you know it's a it's a small world especially in manhattan with stuff like that um well how did you end up like did were you the one that said like i want to act i want to start performing or did you know because i know you started at la mama and i know know people back in New York that David Sedaris used to do stuff at La Mama and Amy Sedaris. And so were you like in a kid's class there, or was it something that really started to hit you that you really wanted to do? I was really outgoing and know theater and dance and uh my parents had friends who were

ran this theater company it was a very like fringe avant-garde off broadway theater company and they would do shows at la mama they would do shows at a theater called one dream that's that was on north moore street but is not there anymore and uh i think they were all out to dinner one night and i was with them and they were like, we need a kid on our next show. You want to do it? And of course then I loved it and I got hooked. I mean, I was like, I loved being around these adults

and their sort of energy and it was always an after school. After school, I'd go to the rehearsals and I didn't have any speaking roles until a couple couple shows later. But eventually I was 12 when I did my first show, and then every year I would have some part in whatever they were doing. And they were really wacky, interesting plays, not very traditional,

where they'd have a scrim, which is sort of a screen that's transparent, that they'd project images on and the actors would stand behind the screen, so they could create kind of any... It was actually, the set designer was like a painter, too, so she'd often project these paintings. And then one play that we did, they pre-recorded all the dialogue, so we would lip-sync our dialogue, because there would be five actresses playing the same part and we'd all move in sync with each other and speak in

sync with each other. Like it was very imaginative and not, not traditional. Anyway, I loved it. And then they helped me find an agent, um, who sent me on auditions as a teenager for movies and TV. And that's when I was like, I really want to do this. Of course, at that age, you're not really thinking what a career looks like. You just want to pursue it. Right. But then by the time I was a senior in high school, I got sent to Los Angeles to screen test for a movie called

10 Things I Hate About You with Heath Ledger. And they hired me. And that was the thing that sort of changed everything for me. Or that was the thing that really got me more work. Yeah. And that movie's based on Taming of the Shrew. And then you did a – had you done Shakespeare before you started doing Shakespeare in movies? Because then you – didn't you do three shakespeare well yeah but i mean 10 things i hate about you was kind of just the plot of taming of the shrew right it wasn't like you needed to be right no i mean i haven't seen it in

a while but i i mean you know i didn't need to know i am the pentameter but i but i uh then i did then i did um uh an adaptation of hamlet that Ethan Hawke started, and that actually used verse, even though it was modern day. So that required a little bit more work. And then another movie called O that was based on Othello, but again, it was like teenagers, and it was just the plot of Othello. Yeah, yeah. teenagers and it was just the plot yeah of a fellow yeah yeah now were you i mean because these are sort of you know these are like very teen romance-y kind of movies and you know you know rom-commy kind of movies and was that like is that kind of like were you okay with doing that kind of work or did you have like higher you know were you really sort of like were you okay with doing that kind of work or did you have like higher you know were

you really sort of like like you know in those early days of course i guess you're a team so they're gonna they're gonna put you in movies with young people that's what i was like eligible to play but i i have 10 things i hate about you i wanted that part really badly and it was not only because when you first start out auditioning as an actor, you just want to get hired. But I look back at that summer or leading up to it. And there were a lot of I was getting close to on a lot of auditions for other really popular movies that ended up coming out at the same time, similar teen movies. And I was so lucky that 10 Things and it made so much sense that 10 Things I Hate About You was the one that I actually got cast in, even though I was disappointed about the other ones at the time. Yeah, because but I also just about the other ones at the time. Yeah. Because, but I also just, I just, it jumped out at me.

Like, I was auditioning as a 17-year-old and always getting, you know, for commercials and things, and they'd always be like, can you just be a little more bubbly? Can you just be a little more, like, lighten up? You're so serious, blah, blah, blah. And then when I read Ten Things I Hate About You, it was the first time that I had seen this female character who was really feisty and opinionated and didn't hold back. And it spoke to me. And so that's why. So I was really

happy to be cast in it. And then, you know, now looking back, it makes sense. Yeah. Were your folks at all, did they have any sort of like trepidation about setting their 17-year-old daughter into the maw of the beast? They were very protective, but they also were very supportive. Yeah. And still are, you know, they like. Yeah, yeah. for the obvious reasons of like, I was a minor. And then also, but they saw how much I loved this and, you know, bent over backwards to kind of help me pursue it.

When you were still 17 for that first movie, did somebody have to come, did they came with you and stayed with you? Yeah, my parents would switch off. It was the summertime, so we didn't have to worry about school. And there were other actors in the movie were also still under 18. So sometimes they would like rotate. I'm trying to remember what they did. No, it was like they alternated. It was like my mom or dad would take turns. Yeah. And when you got to be 18, were you on your own or did they sort of continue to serve?

And when you got to be 18, were you on your own or did they sort of continue to serve? No, so then I graduated high school. I took a year off before I knew I was going to start college. I lived at home. Worked mostly, I started working a lot that year, but I think I remember it was mostly in New York. And then started college and was living in the dorms. Where was college? Columbiaia columbia yeah um and then would columbia allowed me to sometimes take time off to work i uh so i so i i mostly worked during the summertime but i occasionally a job would come up and i'd lose all my credits

but i didn't have to start over but i could at least keep my place in the school. Yeah, yeah. I bet that was expensive, just thinking as a parent with a kid in college. It was, but you know what was funny is it was expensive. What was funny is that I remember sitting in my freshman dorm room, reading the sides for The Bourne Identity and going like, I can't go and do this. I have finals coming up. And thank God nobody listened to me.

I actually ended up doing the movie and then subsequent movies after that. Wow. I didn't realize that your involvement in the Bourne movies spread over that much time. Yeah. My whole adult life, pretty much. Yeah, yeah. Up until this point, up until recently. What is there in between them? Usually four or five years or something like that?

Yeah, yeah. But I was 19 when we made the first one, and then I was 30-something when the last one. The last one? Wow. Where I got offed in the last one. You can hear my son crying, can't you? Yeah, I can.

I can. And I'm resisting the urge to micromanage, too. Give him a bottle. Well, he heard you talking about your character's death and was upset by that. Yeah. Spoiler alert, by the way, folks. You don't make it to the next Bourne movie, although, you know, it seems like they're going to just keep cranking those out regardless of who Jason Bourne is. Yeah, yeah.

Right. Yeah. Well, those must, I mean, what's fun, were you, did you get to go to all the locations, like all those European locations? Oh, amazing places. Yeah. Yeah. as European locations? Oh, amazing places, yeah. Yeah. Czech Republic, Morocco was a longer one.

They always would work out of a sound studio in London, so Pinewood Studios. So there was a lot of time in the UK. And then where else did we go? The Canary Islands, Tenerife, um, Berlin. Oh, spent a long time in Berlin. Dead of winter in Berlin.

Wow. Not such great. I mean, yeah, yeah. Dead of winter in Berlin. But I did a lot of sightseeing. A lot of what?

Sightseeing. Oh yeah. Yeah. Cause they would always do this thing where they, they, they'd have you there for a certain amount of time. But the, the way that Paul Greengrass works is like the schedule would always be changing.

So they'd hold you and they'd say, like, you're going to work tomorrow. Then they'd call you and be like, you're not working today. You're going to work again tomorrow. So you end up – you're there for three or more months and then end up having a lot of random time off too. Yeah, yeah. Anyway. Are you good about filling your own time? Like are you a self-directed kind of person that can do that?

I used to be terrible at it. I used to really not know what to do with myself in between jobs. Now, what is time? I have two little children. If I have two minutes to myself, I don't know what to do. Yeah, yeah. if I have two minutes to myself, I don't know what to do. Yeah. Yeah. Like,

yeah. But I mean, well, is it just kids that did that for you? Like they gave you the idea, you know, that gave you the ability to kind of. They gave me maybe more of a focus.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, as, as the movies evolved, did you, were you always in New York?

Did you always stay in New York or have you ever lived out here for any, any amount of time? Never lived in L.A. other than for work. Yeah. I think the longest I spent in L.A. was like six months doing, I did a season of Dexter. But then, oh, but then there was a time where every January I'd come to L.A. for like a good month. I would do a swap with somebody because I didn't want to be in New York in the dead of winter but yeah other than that always lived in New York um yeah always lived in New York and then my husband's Canadian so we spent a bit of time when we first got together um I was in Canada a lot with him yeah but but New York is New York

has pulled me back is that is that just because you're from there and your folks are there? I mean, do you dislike L.A.? At times that I've spent in L.A., I've found things that I really like about it, and I can kind of get into the day-to-day life there. I have lots of really good friends who live in L.A. I think you have to pick your neighborhood wisely. Yeah. I think you have to pick your neighborhood wisely. Yeah. I don't know.

I just, I, at least right now, there's just something about New York that I'm hooked on. And I think it's partially like you can just, I never had a hobby growing up because, or like I remember early on in my career doing press and people would, they would always, for some reason, along the lines of like, who are you wearing? They'd always ask like, what do you do in your spare, wearing they'd always ask like what do you do in your spare do you have any hobbies what do you do in your spare time and i never had an answer because in new york you literally you literally just walk out your door you just go for a walk and something's gonna happen you're gonna you're gonna see something interesting you're gonna be surprised um so that's i don't know that's something that i really like and i also really like just being able to walk and go get a cup of coffee. I've never owned a car. Really?

Never owned a car. Wow. And I'm kind of trying to make that a point to see how long I can keep that up. Can you drive? I can drive. Yeah. How did you learn to drive without ever owning a car? In Los Angeles, I was working on a movie in LA at like 22 and didn't have a license.

And eventually I was like, I can't, I need to be able to get around on my own. So one of the Teamsters taught me how to drive and I got my license there. And then I was probably a terrible driver for many years, like most New Yorkers, because you're not really driving that much. But I think eventually I,

now I would like to think I'm a good driver. My husband would probably disagree uh well does you you still don't have a car like does your husband have a car wow he did when we were in canada and i would borrow it all the time so it's not really fair for me to say that i never owned a car because i just either borrow people's cars or i rent one if i needed to go you know on a trip but um but yeah not right now I don't have a car yeah yeah um when was there ever any time like where doing this for a living kind of got to you like have you always kind of loved it or was there ever like have you had moments where you're kind of questioned like is this really what I want to do with myself?

I'm projecting because I have had those moments. You've had those moments. Yeah, yeah. And you come back around to it, right? Oh, yeah. I mean, because what am I going to do? What am I going to do? Sell real estate, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. Bust my butt working for an NGO and getting paid $20,000 a year? I don't think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but I, of sure, I do think about that a lot. I think I've had, and this, I mean, I thought about that in college when I had friends who were looking into other careers, but nothing was realistic. realistic. I think, um, as I get there, there's, there's, I couldn't see myself working in any other industry, but there are other parts of moviemaking that I'm interested in. So I'm like

working on trying to direct a movie. I've directed a couple of shorts and I enjoyed that. And I want to do more of that. Um, I think the thing that I can control more is like who I'm working with. So if I'm going to go and work for a director who's going to treat me like a machine or like, you know, just sort of not want my input or boss me around, that's not as appealing to me as like somebody who's going to be really collaborative. Can't you tell my love's a-growing? And you've gotten to do both leading roles and character work. And do you feel, I mean, is it all sort of the same thing? Do you feel, is there one that you prefer more than the other? I'm about to go, I'm going to get myself in trouble with this next comment I'm about to go do a second season of a TV show that you can watch

on Amazon now called Amazon Prime called The Lake it's a comedy I saw an episode of it you saw an episode of it that's it? you don't have a thumbs up or a thumbs down? oh I I thought it was...

You only wanted to watch one episode? You shouldn't have said the whole thing? Thanks a lot. I thought it was really cute. You know, I thought it was really fun and funny. And it's... Rom-com-y stuff is not my cup of tea. If nobody's getting murdered, you know, if nobody's getting murdered or there's not, you know, car chases.

I mean, I'm not a complete idiot. Oh, okay, so you're not much of a, you don't even, do you like dark comedies? Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah, but my point in saying that was it's an ensemble. So not having to carry the whole load of the show is actually at this point in my life like really refreshing. It's fun. I come to work. I do my thing and I get out of there. And, uh, I've been the lead on shows before or a show and it's a big responsibility.

And if it's bad, it falls on your shoulders. So I did a show, uh, a British show called Riviera that I was the lead of, and I was in every scene and every day and i felt a huge sense of responsibility that it ought that it'd be really good and um it was great but it's a different kind of it's a different kind of work then uh and it's a different kind of investment than if you're showing up and hitting your mark and messing around and then going home yeah yeah i definitely felt like one i feel like one of my superpowers is being able to tell when something's Canadian. And that was with the lake. I was like immediately like, this is, this is Canadian.

Like, I don't know. I can't tell you exactly what it is, but just, and then they, they actually, you know. They joke about that. Yeah. They say like, you know, this is the Canadian version of whatever, you know? So there it is like, and so I imagine it was it for the C so i imagine was it for the cbc initially or was it for amazon and no it's always been for amazon yeah yeah amazon yeah um i know what you mean though the showrunner the creator it's basically his life story and he's canadian so

i'm sure you can't help but get some of that humor in there oh wow so he actually does have a daughter and on all of that and he gave he he got a girl pregnant in theater school. He's gay. He got a girl pregnant in theater school, his best friend. They gave the baby up for adoption, but it was an open adoption. I think he's maintained a relationship with her.

Anyway, the show is, you saw it, but it's, it's him trying to rekindle this relationship with the, the birth daughter. And he brings her to the cottage country that he spent his summers in as a kid but i'm his uh sort of wicked stepsister who he is in a in a you know childlike uh battle with to take over the family cottage and they

um yeah they're fighting over who's going to inherit it. Right, right. And it gets to be very. Is it better being wicked than it is being good? Like, is it more fun? I love playing this part so much because she is so, just so annoying. I mean, she's like every aspect of her personality are character traits that you hope we socialize out of people. personality or character traits that you hope we socialize out of people like she's and but with her she's just like unabashedly passive aggressive selfish competitive manipulative um you know a

mother who only conditionally loves her children yeah yeah uh but it's really fun because also she there's my favorite scenes are the ones where she's just having it when things don't go her way she has a complete temper tantrum and the temper tantrum is like it gives toddlers a bad name that's fantastic well now would you be disappointed if you were never number one on the call sheet again like if you played character roles for the rest of your life i don't i don't think that would bother me. I mean, I don't want to, um, jinx it.

I really, you know, I don't want to be like unambitious. I don't want to be unambitious. Um, yeah. Uh, but my,

I don't know. I might, I also can't think that far ahead, but I'm glad to just still be working. My God, when I first started acting, I like women who turned 40, it was like your career was done. And now I feel like, yeah, um, it's very different. And I'm very to just still be working. My God, when I first started acting, like women who turned 40, it was like your career was done.

And now I feel like it's very different. And I'm very grateful for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I always feel like, I mean, I just feel like I feel that it sucks that you have to be grateful for that. You know what I mean? It's like, you know what I mean? It's just the way. Thank you so much for not throwing me out to pasture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? It's just the way... Thank you so much for not throwing me out to pasture.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. No, I think I don't really think so much of, like, am I going to be number one on the call sheet? What would be a wonderful sort of moment for me is to see my name on the call sheet as a director. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Other than that, I think I give I have so much I give so much credit to day players and people who come into a film set like just for the day to do one scene or just for a week to do a couple of scenes and like a bit part because you're coming into this beehive that's already buzzing and and you just kind of have to like go with it. You don't have any, nobody has the patience for you to like be nervous and get over your little jitters. You have to just kind of jump on the roller coaster. I think that's a really hard job. What is it about being a director that you really, you know, you really sort of, why do you want to do it?

Because it is, it's a lot more, it's a lot more work. It's a lot more work. Listen, I also feel, I've directed a few shorts. I feel like a little bit weird talking about it because I haven't actually directed a feature yet, but I'm working on it. And why do I want to? Because, you know, when you have this idea in your head that then comes to life, that's pretty awesome. I think there's a part of my brain that I've been on film sets enough and seen what directors do. And like, there's a part of me that it clicked where I go like, oh, part of the skill of being a director is not just the creative part of it. It's the managing of people, managing a set, managing time, managing money.

There's that kind of logical part of my brain. It thinks that I could do that and that would be really interesting. Yeah, yeah. Also, you're in the driver's seat. I mean, so much of being an actress, you and this is the part where I start to think like, would I do something else? So much of being an actor is just other people telling you what to do. I was going to say, doing as you're told. Doing as you're told, yeah. other people telling you what to do. Yeah. I was going to say, doing as you're told.

Doing as you're told, yeah. Yeah. I mean, and I love my job so much. I'm so grateful for all the things that it has afforded me. Don't get me wrong. But there is a part of me as a grown-up now where it's like being told to wait being told to show up being told to go being told to stop being told faster slower go again it's like um requires a lot of patience yeah i mean and then the flip side of that is that you're also like hopefully really jazzed about what you're doing so like the lake i go to i go to the lake and i want more takes

just because i want to mess around yeah yeah yeah and. Yeah. And that's when, that's when it's fun, but you know, it's not always. Yeah. It varies from set to set. Cause some sets aren't that fun, which I'm always, I'm always. COVID has changed things. I don't know if you have experienced this, but. I haven't done, I haven't done a lot of like long-term acting. I've just done, done like guest bit parts you know pre you know during and past covid so i haven't like i haven't gone you know a month somewhere and been on a set covid wise you know so i don't

know exactly i've just had these like sort of day player things covid has it used to be one of the great things about working on a set is the camaraderie and, you know, shooting the shit with people and talking into the thing that would pass the time in between setups when they're moving the camera around is you're chatting with people. Now everything's so regulated and maybe it'll go back and maybe it'll change and lighten up a little bit,

but for safety reasons, you know, we all wanted to go back to work. So you have to keep the safety protocol strict enough so that people aren't getting sick but um it means that you know aside from being masked all the departments are separated yeah so like the actors are only allowed to hang out with the actors and yeah um and it just takes a bit of the socializing out of it, and I find the days are longer as a result, but that's all right. Yeah, I had a recurring role on a series, and one of the executive producer directors had been an executive producer and director on one of the series that I did that i was number one on the call sheet for and i was standing by the video village talking to him and somebody i hadn't even met before came

up and said you can't talk to him you can't be here which was just so you know like and we were masked and everything but it's just like you can't talk to him. Like, okay. It's so strange. It feels like so, I don't know, grade school in many ways. But, you know, I get it. I can't, I'm not going to, you know, stand on a street corner and rave about it. It's like, no, it's an illness and, you know, you got to do what you got to do to get. Have you ever had, have you had it, by the way? Have you had COVID at all?

I did. I got it over Christmas this year. And luckily, ever had have you had it by the way have you had covet at all or i did i got it over christmas this year yeah luckily well um have you had it i did i just had it a few weeks ago for the first time i really thought i was gonna you know and i've had every shot and because i'm over 50 i even had you know i got the second booster and i was really careful and what happened is i i had a job in dublin and i went with my girlfriend and I just got, it seemed like nobody was wearing masks there. And I just got lazy and I didn't wear my mask very much, but it was also, it's that new variant. And it seems like everybody is like, it's the new latest craze. Everyone's getting COVID these days, you know, the COVID that won't kill you,

but that makes you have to stay home for 10 days, you know? Right. Right. Yeah, no, I got it in, uh, over Christmas and, uh, I was pregnant. So I, oh, and I just gotten my booster. So I thought for the longest time, I thought it was, um, just after it was, uh, like, like side effects of the booster. And then after, after you know four days or something i was like god i feel awful and and got tested and i had it yeah yeah but yeah yeah you power through it but i mean it's just it still is a drag you know and i mean i again i'm back to being a devout mask wearer as much as i can um so well speaking of can we talk a little bit more about motherhood i know i mean sometimes it always feels like prying when you say like you know about your intention to be a mother or you

know but like i is it okay if we and you know yeah sure yeah i mean it's my favorite it's my favorite topic of conversation in my private life and then i also feel weird like i i overthink these things and i'm always like well is this is part of promoting but anyway i i love yes we can talk about it listen hey you're we're promoting the whatever we're gonna say all the stuff you know it's also chatting so yeah yeah go ahead um i mean we did you had you always did you always feel like you were going to be a mom and yeah i think that i um i always knew that i did i i never even really questioned it i always knew that I did. I never even really questioned it.

I always knew that I wanted to have kids. I needed to find the right person to sort of trust to do that with. Yeah, that's helpful. And then, if I can be completelys, I was going all over the world, working on films, and I just had this very independent, fun life. But then all of a sudden, I mean, it's such a cliche, but all of a sudden I was like, oh, I'm in my mid-30s. I better figure this out. So I had a very conscious moment where I was like, this is something that I want, and I don't want to wait till I'm panicking that it might be too late, which is a thing that women deal with. Yeah.

Yeah, it's – I mean, were there times – did you ever think, like, I don't know how I'm going to do this with this life, or did you just – or when it hit you that like you know the tick tock of the clock well um was it just something you thought like i'll get around to it you know some days or was it not a certain point no no not after a certain point i was um like about a certain point of being single i was like oh I better find a partner because I do want to have kids. So, I think I was kind of deliberate in that way. But I also, after my first son was born, or he was, like, probably two years old, I started to think, I want to have another baby. And at that point, it was a little bit more like, oh, I better plan this. And the wheels were spinning in my head of like, how to fit it into work, because I was working on a show. And like, was it gonna, how's that gonna work? Would they fire me if I got pregnant? Would they write it into the story. And in hindsight, that seems like a really silly thing to think about. But for whatever reason, I was being practical.

And then eventually I was just like, in the long term of my life, having another child would be way more important to me than whether or not I do more of like some sort of job, you know? Right, right, right. Yeah, definitely. And I, I mean, because I was always struck by when, because my ex-wife and I were married for seven years before we had kids. And we just kind of, you know, we just, we,

I think we always thought we were gonna, but I definitely felt like there was a time where it was like, we were gonna, but I definitely felt like there was a time where it was like, we were done not having, you know, like we were done with being childless. It was like, we were bored kind of with our life. Bored with each other. Yeah, well, just, I mean,

not so much with each other, but just, you know, living in New York City and going to dinner with friends. I mean, we found ourselves I think just like sitting home a lot just because it's like you know do you want to go to the Upper West Side and eat at that new restaurant it's kind of like not really you know I know I totally understand that feeling and like I yeah yeah yeah I remember a little bit there was a there's a time just before I met my husband where I was a little bit disillusioned with New York, where I felt like socially, everybody had this ledger book where it's like, oh, am I going to meet you for pre-dinner drinks or dinner or post, you know, and people started to get a little bit more flaky or just like schedule you in, they would schedule you into the slot.

It felt, there was something about it that I, and I found myself doing it. It's like, am I committing to dinner with this person? Or I, or you'd go to hang out with a friend and they'd be like running to go do something else,

you know? So there was a time when I, yeah, I felt when, when I was feeling like, oh, um, you know what?

I'm going to tell a really corny story. I love it. I used to live, this is how we named our son's drummer. I was running around New York City, kind of a singleton.

Oh yes, it was before I met my husband. I was single. I had just done a play and we had our after party for the wrap at the end of the run of the play at a bar called Niagara. It's right on Tompkins Square Park. Next to that bar is a mural of Joe Stromer. And it says, like, history is unwritten.

Is that it? Yeah. I think so. Yeah, yeah. But I lived in that neighborhood and i remember this is kind of gross too staying out at the wrap party um i my feet were hurting so i took my shoes off and i actually walked barefoot a little bit it was late at night maybe i've had a couple drinks come on yeah

you're it's new york city you're you're a new y. You can walk around barefoot. I have a tetanus shot. It's fine. But I walked by that mural of Joe Strummer, and I was like, I just had this thing. It wasn't even a full sentence. It was just a feeling. It was just a feeling of like, these days of being kind of alone are about to wind down, and I'm going to have a kid. I'm like, I'm going to have a kid. I'm like, I'm going to have a family. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. When I put it in words, it doesn't make any sense, but it was just a feeling of like the, this chapter is going to close soon and it's going to open up a whole other chapter. And anyway, so then met my husband, we had our first son and we named him Stromer because of that mural.

Oh, wow. Oh, that's great. What's your daughter's name, if I may ask? I have two boys. Oh, two boys, I'm sorry. And Arlo. And Arlo. Very musical names.

Both of them very musical names. Yeah, they'll probably be science teachers or something, but at least we give, you know. And also, you know, Arlo will probably be like, well, how come my brother got the punk rock name and I got the folk singer name? But, you know, Arlo will probably be like, well, how come my brother got the punk rock name and I got the folk singer name? But, you know, we'll see. Or, yeah.

Or they won't worry about it at all. Well, let's talk about the project you're here to promote. Oh, yeah. That. Yeah, that thing. Orphan First Kill. Say it again. It's called Orphan First Kill, and it's a prequel to the movie Orphan.

Okay. Orphan was a – I thought you a prequel to the movie Orphan. Okay. Orphan was a – I thought you liked horror movies. Did you say you liked horror movies? I do. I mean, I will watch horror movies. I find now I watch – for a while I didn't like horror movies because when it was in that sort of Saw, like, violence-y – Yeah-y, like, where it's just gratuitous violence. Just like, just titillating violence. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I wasn't into it. But I, like, my favorite, like, I really am a sucker for, and I haven't seen Orphan, but I have to, there's just one, right? There's just one Orphan so far. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I have to see it, but I, but i uh my favorites are still i love when horror movies have rules and you know like especially like demonic possession ones like those

are always my favorites because it's like you do some catholic shit and the demon goes away you know like i don't i never liked the killer that the killer that you can't kill kind of stuff, you know? Yeah. Usually, but yeah, so it's a prequel to Orphan. So Orphan, the first movie was about this, it was based on a true story without, I think, all the murder, but this woman had an affliction

or like a condition where she never, she never grew. So she could, she looked for all intents and purposes, like a little girl. And so the movie is about like this little girl is adopted by a family and she's, it turns out to be a sociopath.

And the prequel is this same girl. Before she was adopted, she escapes from a mental asylum and is taken in by this family. She sort of poses as their long-lost or missing child and terrorizes the family. Yeah, yeah. I can't say, I'm always at a loss for words because one of the things about these movies is they have a really good twist. And this one, it has an amazing twist, and it's the reason that I wanted to do the movie. I don't really watch horror movies. I don't like them.

Unless they're really like The Shining or something that's a classic. Unless they're really well done, I either am too much of a wimp or i just think like it's they're manipulative but um well yeah they are manipulative yeah yeah yeah i also just don't i i would rather be laughing you know there's too much like craziness in the world and scary things in the world that i'd rather just block that out but yeah but anyway so they sent me the script for this movie and i got to the twist and i was like oh damn that's good yeah so yeah sometimes they got me yeah sometimes those twists are like you know it was just one recently i can't think of what it was but i was like oh damn that's a really good one but i i well i wouldn't say it now anyway if i could think of what it was uh but um well that's cool so how long where where was that at where did you shoot uh we filmed in

winnipeg manitoba because uh it was 2020 the winter of 2020 and at that point movies were starting to pick back up again but they were all chasing where COVID numbers were low. So Winnipeg had no COVID in the summer. And then of course we got there and all of a sudden the city went into like full critical code red shutdown. We almost had to stop shooting because, uh, I mean,

everything was locked down. Uh, so it was bizarre. Um, but we did it. We finished it. Yeah. Yeah.

And you got to spend a winter in manitoba yeah lucky lucky you well sort of i kind of spent winter in either on set or in my apartment that we rented because everything was closed yeah literally nothing you were allowed to do i got delivery groceries uh it was the beginning of Instacart and I got delivery groceries the first night that we arrived. I was with my son and I went down to go pick them up. And I see this guy in a mask walking away with my groceries up the stairs. And I was like, excuse me. Sorry. Hey, hi. And he goes, oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And I was like, I think those are my groceries. And he was like, oh, no, I'm so sorry. I thought they were mine. I ordered. And so, we get in the elevator and I was like, God, what a jerk. And my son started repeating

that. He was like, he'd go, I have a recording of it. He'd go like, what a jerk. What a jerk. I got into the van the next morning to get picked up to go to work. And that guy was my co-star. So, that was a really fun introduction to Russ of Sutherland. Yeah, my husband. I was like, Oh, you're the guy. You're the jerk who tried to steal my groceries, even though you saw it was all mac and cheese and like juice boxes and obviously kid food. Maybe that's what he was eating, too. He was like, sweet. Yeah. String cheese. Awesome. I love Palio. Well, that's, you know, it's a good icebreaker, you know, to catch someone almost stealing your groceries. What a jerk. Well, now you mentioned about wanting to direct. Are there, you know, what do you see going forward?

Like, you know, I mean, your kids are going to start school and, you know what what do you see going forward like you know i mean your kids are going to start school and you know that's probably going to change your life drastically i don't have to say probably it's going to change your life drastically uh because they are a lot less portable once they start uh right yeah right uh no i know i think about that yeah but i mean but where where do you see uh i mean where would you like to go from here? I mean, would you like to kind of really focus on directing and maybe get out of in front of the camera? We have two of our leads cast. We have like two-thirds of our budget raised. So either I have to cut my budget or I have to raise more money.

But a production company that I worked with on a movie called The God Committee is producing it with me. So we're very, very close. But it feels silly to talk about it until you actually do it. Sure, of course. Yeah, no, I never believe anything until they send a car to pick me up. Right. Until you're on the plane. Right, right. Exactly. Well, now, wrapping up, first of all, thank you for spending the time with me. I know it's a busy day.

What do you think, what lesson, if you could say like one big lesson that you've learned, or, you know, if you've got a couple that you want to share, what would you want people to take away from sort of your experience? That the little pop-up window for Dropbox, like the file that I'm going to have to send you guys after this interview is over, stresses me out so much. There's a reason we hire technicians. I understand. stresses me out so much um there's a reason we hired there's a reason we hire technicians i understand i'm i my job is to memorize my lines and deliver them believably in an on-time fashion uh i the techie stuff is stresses me out but oh no what do i want people what do i want people to take away from our talk or or no from your life from you know my life yeah from your life. From my life. Yeah, from your story. Oh, my God. I know, it's a simple little question.

That's a big question. That's a big question. Wow. What do other people say? Like, I guess a lot of my career has been trial and error. I've been learning as I go. So I feel like my more recent work is maybe hopefully better. And I don't know.

I think I'm, I don't know what we're talking. I don't know where to even begin. My life, my work. What? I did the best that I could. I did the best that I could. I did the best that I could. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, well, like, say in terms of advice, somebody wants to do what you've done with your life,

whether it's be in show business, be an actress, be a mother, you know, be someone that, you know, a woman that worked and had a career and traveled the world, you know, like what advice would you give them? I mean, a few things. I think I would say for an actor to be able to separate their, for lack of a better word, brand or their personality from the work that they do on screen, I think is really important. Or it's the kind of thing that I value. I think trying to stay authentic to my own voice is important. And then I'd also say, nobody should be quoted in print before they turn 30. And I learned that lesson.

Thank God I haven't been canceled or anything, but I feel like I, I, uh, not canceled. I would never say anything that's worth it, but don't come for me. Don't come for me.

No, I, uh, I know. I just think that I've learned, I've learned like how at 20 years old, are you supposed to know? Like when somebody is interviewing you, that what you can say can be taken out of context or that you're so eager to please that you're saying things that you think are going to make someone laugh, but you don't actually really believe yourself.

So I think maintaining a good like center is a challenge and something that is also really important and will serve you well. Yeah. Yeah. That's yeah. Watch what you say when you're young is always good advice so you're just forming your own opinion and identity is like yeah yeah well thanks again uh for spending time with me and uh and uh everybody go and check out the new orphan prequel what's what's the full title again?

I had it written down. Orphan, Orphan colon First Kill. And also The Lake on Amazon Prime. And The Lake on Amazon Prime. If you want to laugh, go to Amazon Prime. If you want to be scared, go to Paramount Plus and watch Orphan First Kill. And check out Orphan, Orphan colon. Watch Orphan First Kill.

And check out Orphan Colon. Orphan Semicolon First Kill. Is it a semicolon? No, no, it's a colon. It's a full-on colon. Well, thank you, Julia. And thank all of you out there for listening. And I'll be back next week with more of this. and executive producers Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf.

Make sure to rate and review the three questions that Andy Richter on Apple Podcasts.