The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Laci Mosley

Episode Date: April 19, 2022

Laci Mosley (iCarly, Scam Goddess) joins Andy Richter to talk about being from a theatrical family, scamming, finding likeminded people to collaborate with, and more!

hi everyone uh this is andy richter and you have tuned in to the three questions yet again i'm assuming unless you're a new listener then uh hooray for you. Prepare to have your mind fucking blown. I am lucky enough to talk to a Team Coco family member, an up and comer, a juggernaut of comedy. I'm talking to Lacey Mosley, the scam goddess. Your podcast on the Team Coco network. Yes. Come on, Team Coco network. Yes. Come on, Team Coco gang gang. Keeping it in the family. Yes.

How are you doing? I'm good. I'm so happy to be here. I'm so happy to be doing three questions. The Scam Goddess existed before Team Coco, right? It did. It did exist before Team Coco for a year. It was just Earwolf. But yeah, after a year, I was absorbed into Daddy Conan's orbit.

Daddy Conan. It's good you call him Daddy because I always felt like I was the mother of the show. I was the mommy of the show. That's my podcast daddy. He was the cold, distant one. And I was the encouraging one that people could approach. You give the hugs. He gives the handshakes that are like a little too firm. Yeah. And he makes all the money. And I just, you know, I just soak it up.

Oh, Andy. Well, what was what was the what was the genesis behind that? Because it's kind of, you know, scam scam goddess it's sort of in the title it's kind of you talk about scams and stealing and you know why are you saying stealing like that with so much judgment stealing okay listen i mean that's is anything really ours because we come all earth with nothing you know you come out literally as a baby. You're a scam because you're a little human with nothing. You have no things. You are literally a leech. And then when you die, you don't have nothing either.

So it's like in between. Is it really yours? Or are we all who cares on this big rock sharing? Yeah. No, I mean, it is something that I think about because. You know, I mean, not to get too political or anything, but like with wealth inequality and with, you know, they're being so everything being so unbalanced wise. You know, I see people online who are like, steal from Target, steal from Walmart, steal. And there's part of me that completely understands it.

But then there's also the part of me that has kids. It's like, no, don't steal. That's other people's things. And they'll be sad when their things are missing. And when you get your stuff stolen, doesn't it bother you that someone else stole your stuff? So I personally am torn, but I don't know the morality of it, just the accepted sense of it. Like, I guess if we all just decide like stealing's cool, then I'll probably get on the bandwagon i feel like i look at theft from large corporations in a moral sense i'm like y'all thieving wages y'all you know thieving tax dollars because all of y'all have all these breaks and corporate tax breaks and stuff so i'm like if someone wants to steal from daddy target like absolutely rob them it's called shrink they already have in the budget they budget for theft fine i don't like like robbing people on the

street or like robbing people people's cars or you know just regular everyday people but a big corporation daddy target got it i can take a few flat screens daddy target's gonna be okay it'll be that'll be good how did you know that they're like that that this was that this show had legs like that this topic that you could really i mean is it something that you've been talking about for a long time honestly the whole podcast scam goddess is a scam because i just wanted to do a comedy podcast and at the time the market was super saturated with comedy podcasts and i'm not famous so they they were like, well, you know, so I had to come up with something conceptually that was different at the time or at least not as saturated. And so I love scams. I was always researching scams and Googling them.

And I kind of learned that from doing the Daily Zeitgeist podcast a lot because I was asked what's in your search history and it would always be a scam. So I was like, oh, yeah, I fuck with scams. So then I'll do that and trick people into listening to my comedy show but it's game and you won you won an iheart radio award for best true crime right yeah little did they know you weren't true crime at all which was really wild because i was up against like jensen and holds and if you know anything about them they're really big in the true crime space. They basically helped suss out the, uh,

golden state killer. Like they're like professional crime experts. And I beat them with a comedy podcast about scams. And it's so funny to me. They're great. I love them. But I was like, this is a scam.

Have you, have you talked to them since or were they great no i didn't dm them because i actually we do still follow each other stuff because i've done gents in the hole so like now i'm like i didn't hit him up like my bad like i give him a macklemore i'm like i'm so sorry kendrick you really deserve this award i don't know how i got here and robbed everybody. I don't think any, you know, I don't think anybody's really good. I don't, you know, and also it's like, it's, it's great to get awards, but ultimately at the other end of it, it's like, well, I got an award, you know, like it's, you know, it's like, it's not like it's, it's not any money in your pocket. I don't think. Is it?

I mean, depending on what the award is and how much traction it can bring some some light and some coins to the pocket. But immediately, no, no. And especially during the pandemic, that was the sucky part is like I've had work wise. My career has exploded during the pandemic which was amazing but also sad because it was like everything that I was gonna do or go to like the iHeartRadio was Shonda Rhimes presented me that iHeartRadio award I was at home we had to record everything we were supposed to be in person but then a new variant popped up and started you know doing the Omarion dance touch you know so then we were back in lockdown.

And this is my trick about COVID and lockdown. Because I don't know how long we're going to be here. But I've never gotten COVID. Let me knock on some wood, Sham. Let me find some wood. But I've noticed that when New York gets hit. And when the numbers start to rise in New York. It's just like the time difference between L.A. and New York. New York we're three hours behind so when I see New York starts going up I'm like all right

I'm gonna go out I got one more weekend and be outside and then I gotta go back you gotta stay back home yeah stay back home yeah speaking of home where are you from originally I know I read it in the research but I'm from Dallasallas texas yeah and uh your whole life you lived down in texas i mean you know your whole childhood for the most part there was one year um that my family relocated to south florida and then we moved back but so i was in like miramar like miami-dade area um for one year and i went to a school and i was 13 in eighth grade and it was like portables and it was outside and if you live in miami you know like most days are like three o'clock during a certain seasons it rains like almost every single day so you're in portables

so when you leave class you're outside and then it's raining and now you gotta dodge the raindrops to go to your next class. It was it was crazy. But so most of my time was in Texas. But when you're in Florida. Yeah. Yeah. And did you come from a big family? I come from a big extended family, but my immediate family is pretty small.

It's just me and my little sister. And then I have a younger brother and a younger sister with my father. Yeah. Okay. So you described your family as a black theatrical family. Now, does that mean professional theatric or just amateur theater? And I should read that again. What did I describe my family as?

A black theatrical family. He comes from a black theatrical family. She comes from a black theatrical family. The way you read that, you have like this silky smooth, like ganache chocolate voice and just hearing you be like she comes, she hails from a black theatrical family.

Yes, I do. My family is all about theatrics, especially on the Mosley side. At family reunions, there was always a program. Somebody was going to get up and recite a Maya Angelou poem. That was guaranteed. Someone's going to get up and do Bible verses. I remember Christmas, my aunt Kathy,

she likes to host like a pre-Christmas party in her house. And my dad is such like a Scrooge. Like he's not into the mess and we're very much a big messy family who's gonna be yelling and doing whatever so we were at my aunt Kathy's house for Christmas Eve celebration and she starts passing out these folders we know what these folders are for we're Mosleys we know what they're for my dad I've never seen a man so angry in my life for for joy We was like, sir, how are you so mad? So we open it and obviously the folder is a songbook and there's carols.

So we're all singing carols. And my dad is just sitting there like we're stabbing him. Like I've never seen someone be more upset at Christmas carols. But yeah, so we're very extra. We love a program. We love to sing. We love to dance. There's always going to be a performance at every family gathering, including funerals.

And is that that's just been around forever? That's just is there any any one member of the family driving that or? I don't know. It's just been around for as long as I can remember. And we listen, the Moses are going to bring the theatrics wherever we are, even if it is the funeral. You know how many people have tried to jump bring the theatrics wherever we are, even if it is the funeral. You know how many people have tried to jump in the grave sites? And we like this. We're not. You cannot go with them. Like, please.

It also it will be expensive. The casket was like eight thousand dollars. Get up. Get off of the casket. Once the casket's in the ground, who cares if there's a ding on it? You know what I mean? Nobody's going to be seeing it again. That's very true. i'm sure that's

comforting to people who like do casket business they're like oh damn we nicked it and they're going in the ground yeah they're gonna bring it out to wax it or something right uh yeah well you need that those relatives just need to tie like a rope around their waist and just so that you know a safety line for anybody that you fear might might do a cask uh do a do a cough and leap uh right it was i don't know why it's a thing but everybody loves to do a cough and leap but take me with you a while oh it's me and it's like come on now they're trying to put the dirt in there get up yeah and there's no way out of there that's elegant no you cannot get out of there gracefully.

There's no classy way to exit a grave site. I'm like, oh, that was sorry, guys. I just got a little taken over by the spirit. Yeah. Don't mind the dirt. Let's let's go ahead and head to Aunt. So what's for the repass? Yeah. What are we having at the repass for dinner? Like, yeah, no. Once you've done that. But that's the thing about family. There's no judgment. You can be extra and we're not. We'll pick you up out of the gravesite and we'll talk shit about you later. But no judgment in person.

Now, do those theatrics carry over into like drama kind of, you know, big fights and things? Oh, yeah. Family gatherings. Yeah. Yeah. Is there a lot? Now, is it is it like. From a big dysfunction or is it just kind of healthy, noisy family stuff or is it a mix?

Yeah, it's mostly dysfunction, sometimes healthy, noisy, but there's a lot of dysfunction. There's a lot of he says, she said there's a lot of like. Because we live in Texas and a lot of us live in Texas, most of us actually in the most of the side of my family, like we but there's they're separated. So it's like, you know, East Texas is dallas or we're all pretty much in north texas but like there's north dallas there's frisco there's you know all these areas cedar hill whatever there's a bunch of different areas that everyone lives and so when gossip gets passed along it's through the telephone and you know how the game of telephone goes it's like by the time

you hear it at the end is nothing near what it sounded like at the beginning yeah so a lot of that happens yeah yeah and then you know it'll be like two years went by and two family members haven't spoken and then I finally find out why why they beefing and can tell the other one like oh this is why she mad like it's been two years but this is what we know yeah that's that's that's a very similar dynamic that always existed in my family. And it isn't until you get away that you question it. Like, it's just like, you know, it's like part of the scenery. You don't, you don't think about like, oh, this is fucked up. But like in my family, nobody would talk directly to the person.

It was all circular talk. Like, did you, like, somebody would do something, it would be like, oh, did you hear what so-and-so did? Yeah, I heard too. And guess what so-and-so did. And then, and I grew up thinking like that was somehow polite or something, you know, like, like, because you're not confronting people and you're not hurting their feelings and stuff, but like, no, it's 10 times worse because it just gets like deeper and more twisted and like you say untrue like you know things it becomes bigger than it needs to be you know so exactly like i would say that most of my family is currently embroiled in fights over dumb shit like over the dumbest shit and i don't care if they hear that because i'm not being specific but like over the dumbest stuff like

this is silly yeah absolutely and i used to i go by the something in your teeth um mantra which is i'm making this up y'all know i'm a scam, but it's my mantra that I just made up right now, which is the something in your teeth mantra is if you see somebody that, you know, you care about and you see something in their teeth. Yeah. Maybe it's polite to not embarrass them and be like, Oh,

you got a huge piece of lettuce in your front teeth, but it's kinder to have an awkward moment and be like, Hey, something's in your teeth and then move on from it. And then both of you are better for it. Now that person doesn't have the thing, their teeth and y'all can move on so i'm very much of like i'll have an uncomfortable conversation because i would rather have the uncomfortable conversation out of love than not and my mom always told me that too with acting and everything

she was like if people will give you honest feedback you have to cherish that because a lot of people want to be polite a lot of people want to be like oh yeah it's good you know i feel like everybody's voice raises like six octaves when they start doing white lies only for white lies regular lies which i'm not gonna call black lies i'm black uh but regular lies yeah you know harmful ones are black they do that with everything. Black magic. Like, what? Yeah, no, I know. There's a whole list of them.

Yeah, but yeah, so like white lies, everyone's like, oh, yeah, I love that dress. Oh, your shoes look so nice. Oh, your hair looks great. Yeah. Oh, my God, we love the new decorations. It just goes higher and higher when you're doing white lies. Yeah, yeah. I don't see, I think, because i've been accused of that and like i had an ex-girlfriend that told me that you know every

time that she'd say you know did you do you like that person or something like oh yeah they're all right and she'd say you're lying and i would say like no i'm not really lying but it's i'm giving you i'm letting you know it's a complicated truth you know i think for me that hot like yeah it was nice you know that means it was nice you get the vibe yeah exactly also i feel like all right is never something that i want to be called when i'm not in a room like i very much want to be treated like when I'm not in a room, please treat me like I am a missing white woman. I want everyone to be like her smile lights up the room. Everyone wanted to be her friend.

He had a way about her and a light like that's what I want. I don't want anybody to be like, they're all right. All right. I mean, they were tolerable. They didn't they didn't do anything too mean they were tolerable they didn't they didn't do anything too out of pocket but i didn't enjoy them yeah but i think that white woman that's just like a white woman on forensic files because there's some white women in real life when they're gone you're like oh good and i wish somebody would say that i want to see a documentary where they're

like susan went missing 10 years ago and I'm not gonna lie honestly I've been sleeping better I'm way less stressed Susan was problematic and she got on our nerves and I hope that she's okay but also that she stay wherever she at and don't come back like I

wish people would tell the truth because I know every missing person person that everybody fucked with some of these people who went missing everybody was like i'm so glad they got kidnapped because i don't know how he was gonna live with them yeah yeah they were the perfect couple i don't know were they were they they don't look it i can tell from that picture right perfect and zach fox has a great joke about that on Twitter of like white man murders his family and it's a photo of all of them on a jet ski. And it's like, no, he murdered them.

Why are y'all putting this happy photo up here? He murdered them with the jet ski, though. Right. You know how much time and dedication it takes to murder somebody with a jet ski? Taste them down. In choppy water. Yes. Yes.

Taste them down. In choppy water. Yes. Yes. Well, is there anybody else in your family that's professionally theatrical or are they just all amateurs leaving it up to you? Don't get me embroiled in a family fight. I'm the only professional entertainer. Um, my cousin, who's my best friend, Eric, he is a yoga instructor and a ambassador for fitness and Lululemon. So he's kind of like, has a similar, like we do weirdo stuff on the internet for money

thing. And, um, so yeah, but other than that, everyone else just has a lot of talents that they entertainment talents that they just don't use for entertainment. They work at the call center or wherever the hell. And, but they're great. Like, I love my family. When I was a kid, my birthday is July 4th. I call it 4th of Jalacy because we don't need to celebrate the Declaration of Independence or any of those laws that the old white men came up with in their rooms.

You know? But we can celebrate me. So the 4th of July is what I celebrate. And when I was a kid, it was always a family reunion. So we would be in Kemp, Texas, which is like East Texas. And all my family lived on this hill.

My grandmother and all of my great aunts lived on the same hill. my my grandmother and all of my great aunts lived on the same hill and we would go down to each house on bobby uh bobby jean had like some great sides you know like there's so many aunts on the street and they all specialize in a certain food or whatever but so it was a big party and people were dancing and drinking and having a good time so you know they know how to get theatrical but they don't work in theatrics but they do i'll never forget my cousin um sam he this is so crazy he is dark but it's funny to me maybe i have a weird sense of humor but he one time showed up to the family reunion on my birthday and I was a kid and he was wearing shorts that he you know how people do cut off shorts.

Right. Sure. Jeans that you cut. Yeah. Jeans that you cut. Yeah. But he cut them straight across and you can't cut pants straight across because then you're not allowing room for the booty in the back because the booty sticks out more than in the front where it's just straight thighs so he had on these cut off jean shorts and his whole booty was hanging out in the back and i loved him he um you know had a bout with drugs

and he went to rehab and this is so crazy this is the funny dark thing he went to rehab for the drugs and then i was watching the news with my parents and they were like oh a man has been hit by a car leaving rehab it was my cousin oh jesus so low-key if he didn't go to rehab he'd probably still be alive oh my god it was a fatal accident yes he left rehab and got hit by a car and i was like i hate it here life is life is too much like oh my god if i'm gonna try to get better and then i get hit by a car when i leave get my better bit and especially if you see like that second right before it hits you you're like fuck what a waste of time

also you leave the rehab like I'm rehabilitated brand new life and then you get hit by a car listen if I got hit by a car after leaving rehab I would have to fist fight Jesus let me into heaven send me to

the king because we just need to have a small fist to cuff just a little bit i've always said i've always said like every time i'm eating a salad i think if i die in a car wreck i'm gonna be pissed that i wasted this lunch on fucking lettuce that's another trick that i always tell myself in the car because i'll get texts and I'll, I'll never forget. There's another comedian, Elle Woods, who you probably know.

And she had tweeted before I left my house. I read her tweet. That was like, guys, please don't text and drive. Like, please be present. And I was like,

you know what? I need to be more present. I'm already a terrible driver. How dare I also be trying to text at the same time? I'm a horrible driver. I got my driver's license and I didn't have to take a driver's test I just went to driving school in Texas and the driver instructor would always be like you need to practice more and I'd be like okay and then I

got my license and nobody checked yeah and they should have because I'm a menace to society and that's Texas listen I got dropped by Allstate because I got into too many exodus. The black man from Allstate came over and was like, you are not in good hands anymore. We dropped you. The hands, we are no longer culpable. Right, right. But you don't want him coming over and talking about hands anyway. The president from 24, I was like, oh no. So Elle was like, don't be on your phone.

So I got on the road and was on the freeway on the 101 and it was stalling a little bit and so I was tempted to pick up my phone and I was like, you know what? Let me not do that. I've read Elle's tweet. I'm going to be a better person. So I'm intending

to look and I'm so glad that I was because I low-key think her tweet saved my life because there was a car in front of me a truck that had an open bed and they had tied some rope and shit around the contents in the back and i was looking and i was like are those windows are those window panes in front of me on this truck and because i was paying heavy attention i was like i'm not about to be driving behind no motherfucking windows in the back of their truck so i switched lanes at the exact perfect time because when i switched lanes this truck is driving down the 101 freeway and the window pane starts sliding off the back

and now they're flying. They're flying into cars. Faces are flying into cars. Window shields are flying onto the street. And I was like, whoop. See, I'm glad that I was paying attention. And I got out of that damn lane. Like, yo, don't drive around with windows in the back of your own truck

without them being secure. How are you driving? That's why I laze a wild time. Because how am I driving and now windows flying at my face? What's happening? Yeah, yeah. No, that's a dangerous situation.

You got to tie those windows down, people. If you're out there. If you're out there. Can't you tell my loves's a-crowing when you start thinking? I mean, the first question is, when do you start thinking about what you're going to do with the rest of your life and that you're going to, you know, probably leave Texas and trying to get into entertainment? I knew when I was five that I wanted to be an actor. um i know when i was five that i wanted to be an actor and i told my mom at five and she got me some head shots and then she sat me down and she said i don't want you to be a child star i don't want you to have a hard life as an adult being addicted to drugs or whatever happens to child

stars and she was also like i want to live my life and i don't want to be living out of a car trying to make an acting career happen and And like, I was like a young, young kid when she said these things to me, but I understood it. And I respected it. Cause I was like, if I ever have kids, like my mom always said, like, you were born into my life, not vice versa. And my mom lives her life. Like she is always accomplishing things. She's always doing different stuff. She's always out here and like, like you know will visit me like bops around the country and the world and i always respected that because i was like oh wow if you have kids you don't have to like not have a life anymore after you have some unemployed freeloaders out of your vagina like you can still have a life

um but so she was like well i want you to wait to do it professionally but as long as my grades were good i was able to go to any acting class that i wanted i participated in every scam that was available in texas honey if they were on the radio like john robert powers coming to a local mall near you i was at the mall going to john robert powers listen barbazon katie studios whatever the scam was i was like sign me up i will be there glamour shots at the mall any of those kind of things i didn't do glamour shots for acting i did do glamour shots for family photos and other things but yeah i was fully involved anytime i went to the mall honey i i had a full beat face as an 11 or 12 year old.

And I would just be sitting next to the water fountain slurping real slow, hoping somebody would discover me. I was like, that's where it happens, right? The water fountain. Somebody going to discover me. At the mall in Texas. Yes. I was like, some agent going to walk by and see me slurping on this water. I just got to be here for three more hours.

My lips will prune, but that doesn't matter. I'm dehydrated as fuck. My skin will be glowing. Yes. Well, so do you when do you start like making a solid career plan? I mean, or you just think I'm going to go to college and study acting kind of thing. So college for me was a bit of a scam, which it is for a lot of millennials. I wanted to act. So when I turned 18, I was like, all right, girls, let's I'm going to L.A. I can support me. And my parents were like, this is a college family. We all go to college. You're going to college. And I was like, like okay and I'm glad that

way because I have some of the best friends I've ever had from that experience and I also learned a lot I have a marketing degree and a theater performance minor but I left college it was when I left college and I went to New York City that I was like okay I'm coming to New York, honey. Like I want to act. So I remember going to an open call for Motown on Broadway and my scammer brain, which I didn't understand at the time and what I was thinking and doing. there and sing a song from once on this island a stranger in white in a car like i was ready and i'm in this line from like 5 a.m and then i see news crews start showing up and then all of these people start hopping out of line and the news crew's like what are you gonna sing today at the motown audition they're like calling out around the world. And they're like, four or five other niggas hop out of the line and then they're dancing

in the back and they're all dancing in the street. And when I saw that, I said, oh my God, this is a publicity stunt. This is not a real audition.

This is literally to get press for this Broadway show. I went in, I sang, I got a callback, but it was like, this is not real.

And then I worked at a bar called Karma Lounge where we served hookahs. And it's the only place you can smoke inside after New York was like no more cigarettes inside because it would have they had a position that it would destroy the business because they were selling hookahs. So it's a bar and hookah place on First Avenue. And they had different nights downstairs at the bar. And so one night was like foot night. So I used to bartend the foot fetish night and the ladies of the feet would come in and they were always so, so nice and then the the people who enjoy feet would come in and sometimes we would set up little private partitions so if you pay extra i guess you would go behind a curtain and whatever foot activities happen i was just serving drinks right i understand you know i'm like here we got the toenail special tonight it's but like uh in the basement of a bar yeah that's literally where it was sexy but then i got moved um to the stand-up night at the bar and i would be down there bartending while the stand-up night was happening and then i was

like huh i kind of want to like try stand-up so i did at my job like i kind of just it was a dive bar so i just took a break from the bar i was like yeah i'll be all right i don't know go back there get your own corona and this stand-up and that made me realize that I was like, yeah, I'll be all right. I don't know. Go back there and get your own Corona. And this stand-up and that made me realize that I was like, oh, I really love comedy. And so I started doing stand-up more and then I moved into improv because I kind of felt like church camp because stand-up in New York City

sometimes it's just like a lot of sad weird men in a dark bar and I was a young woman. Yeah. And so I was like, oh, improv, church camp. So then I started doing improv and I was a young woman. Yeah. And so I was like, Oh, improv church camp. So then I started doing improv and I had a great, I actually want to say this on your podcast. If anybody's listening, who's interested in acting, I had a great mentor who randomly was a friend of someone else's from church. And we linked up because of my cousin and the best advice that he gave me was, he was like,

okay, well, you want to be an actor. So where's your community? Like, where's your community? So is it stand up? Is it doing improv? Is it going to a regional theater and performing there? Is it going to a graduate program like a Yale or a records or a Juilliard? doing online content and like web series and you know maybe your own bits on instagram or facebook or whatever he was like you have to find a community you have to find a place where you're with like-minded people and that led me to ucb and then i that was my cult that cult was my jam yeah yeah no people talk a lot you know know, the people that have talked to, especially link mostly because it's mostly comedians that I talk to on here, but most of them, but even people that aren't necessarily in comedy, they all talk about the notion of, and for lack of a better phrase,

finding your tribe. And I, I definitely had that where I, I grew up in a small town and, you know, I got old enough and I started to feel like unhappy and like not fitting in and but didn't quite understand why and then you know moved to the city and was like oh this is why because you're smart as hell and you're hilarious

you're like oh everyone's dumb around me and I'm Andy Richter. I didn't know what's happening. I'll say you're very smart and you're very cool. Wait, Andy, I have to ask. Weren't you the one who interviewed Kamala Harris? I used to be. Yes. Yes. I was there for that. I was.

And you were fantastic. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Yeah. I got a lot of shit for that just because. On online, you know, I mean, I and they actually kind of because I actually was for Elizabeth Warren, but I love Kamala Harris. I was so I was so proud of like my senator and, you know, first my secretary. No, no. Attorney General, then my senator and that she's running and i really like her i really like

a lot but i mean elizabeth warren had a plan for fucking everything and it just seemed i know she did she was a white lady with lots of plans and lots of receipts she's the type of white lady who have a a binder filled with clip coupons yes like i feel like she got a coupon for every occasion that's why i love me some lizzie warren when she was running for president yeah yeah no i mean i don't think you know i do kind of think like just in the fucked up world that it is maybe it's probably not bad that we got an old white man you know just to kind of do the transition from awful old white man into like back into some you know what I mean? Like I just, I wouldn't want a person of color to inherit the Corona virus.

Cause that ain't Joe Biden's fault, but he pulled up and they were like Corona. And it's like, that was his thing. Yeah. That's the kind of thing. And I mean, and it's also,

it is still such a racist, such an overwhelm. I mean, overwhelmingly in that it's more than 50% still has kind of a racist viewpoint that white old white men still they know how to run things. And it's like, no, you're your ultimate old white man was in the White House for four years and fucked everything up. You know, like so it's hard to get out of that place, though. Yeah. And that's what I always try to tell white people who listen to my shows or listen to anything that I do. Well-meaning, good white people. I'm like, y'all, if you have to learn shit every day about people of color,

if you have to learn all of these things and like how to be a better ally or how to be a person who's, you know, supporting people who have, you know, discrimination that they're facing every day. who have, you know, discrimination that they're facing every day. Also know that like black and brown people in the U.S. have been indoctrinated to the same racist teachings and practices that y'all have. Like I have to fight the white man in my head constantly, like wearing my hair naturally curly. I was like, oh, well, this isn't for special occasions. And I was like, get out of here, little white man. Like it's a little white man saying that

to me. Like, we all have to unlearn the things that we've been taught. But wait, I want to know, why were the girls upset that you were host of Kabbalah? Oh, because just, no, it wasn't girls. It was just the internet. I said girls for everyone.

Okay, all right. I just said the girls. Okay, I understand. This girl understands. was it's because it, you know, like within within the Democratic candidates, there's such like if you're for the wrong Democratic candidate, then you're worse than a Republican to some people, you know? And so a lot of people, and actually they had me do like a little video with, with, with the Senator. Y'all did a TikTok, y'all did a whoop. Well, no, they had me do this little video and like, they had some idea of it, of what they wanted me to do. And I was like, how about if we do this i say this she says this andy you're gonna twerk yeah no but it was like i said how about this just simple little sketch thing and they're like okay um and do you know how to throw that ass in a circle because

that's what we're gonna need for this campaign video you're ready to hear the sound of an old man's hip go out yeah you make a clap for kamala harris claps for kamala harris but it's not hands we want your cheeks to clap can you do that for kamala harris well all right i mean i have to take these jeans off oh no give them a little room but no she they had me do this thing and the guy like one of her people's like okay you say this and and i'm like well what do you want me to say and he said like the iowa caucuses are coming up so vote for kamala harris and i was kind of like oh i don't i'm not okay and i was like ah what the fuck i mean so yeah vote for kamala harris if you want to i guess you know and and then it became like i was a big

endorser of hers but it was like no i just I was I was just doing a quick little video. They were like, I'm number one supporter and director. He is number one on the list. Yeah, I'm a supporter, but I'm not. You know, I like lots of them. I know what you mean, because there was a lot of infighting amongst democrats when it came to elizabeth warren bernie sanders the bernie bros and the bernie thems and and the girls oh they were the most aggressive they were like come on we he's trying to give us free everything yeah shut up and vote and yeah there was a lot of contention and i even remember talking to

kamala harris after that because her record had been brought up as a prosecutor in california and we were like hey girl hey uh kk kk hey girl you always keep throwing niggas in jail or what's what's going on you gonna stop doing that or what like because the girls are mad about it and we talked about it and she was like i'm trying to change the judicial process or system through the inside. And I thought I could do that as a prosecutor. I was like, that's very cute. But just like capitalism, white supremacy is not something that can be penetrated from the inside. Just like policing. You can have the cops, but like if there's a bunch of mostly bad cops, even if you try to be good you're gonna not win you're gonna be hard yeah i don't because you know i i don't i don't know about that because and i i probably lean more towards

the way you're saying but like i remember after the the berlin wall fell uh mccartney was out of office. I read about it. Gorbachev. Gorbachev. Gorbachev, after he was out of office, they asked him like, you know, kind of like, you know, did you know this was coming? And he said, I became a dissident, like I became a nonbeliever in the 1950s and i made the decision to get as high as i could to see what i could do about tearing this thing down and that always kind of struck me as like i mean he might have been blowing smoke you know what i mean it's like he might have been like it kind of worked out that way revisionist history it's like yeah i did that oh yeah i always wanted that i always wanted that was me i was the

main one entire thing yeah i was the main one you know i used to love construction and i was like we should really get rid of that wow it was definitely me yeah but i do think i do think like good people do have to you know like good people have to go into fucking government good you know and it's like i don't want to because government's just one long pta meeting but uh yeah anything in your business too much i'm not trying to go into government because i like what is anything i had i did in my 20s or yesterday have to do with me being in government i don't even know the bitch that i was yesterday i don't know her i'm today lacy never met never met the old girls don't know them never heard of them

I'm on the same page with you I'm like I don't I don't want to parse yeah yeah no the whole I mean I'm like not as political as I used to be anyway because I am a little like it's all so fucked up and I'm just tired

I'm just tired you know what that is though Andy that's wisdom it's them winning I know it's all so fucked up and I'm just tired. I'm just tired. You know what that is though, Andy? That's wisdom. It's them winning. It's not them winning. I'm saying it's wisdom because I, as I'm growing and learning and aging, I've learned so much from people who are a little bit older than me or even my parents, which me and my mom are not that far apart.

She was 21, so we're not very far apart in age. But I remember going home to Texas during the primaries and I got home and my family had a Mike Bloomberg sign in the lawn. I said, bitch, what the fuck? I took that shit.

I yanked that shit out of the grass. I was like, this is embarrassing. Are you not embarrassed? Why do we have this? And they were like, you don't understand, Lacey. A white man's going to win. Because I was like,

Elizabeth Warren, we team Warren girls. And we doing a flash mob for Lizzie Warren in front of the courthouse. You know, like, all on the bandwagon. Yeah. We're wearing a different kind of hat. Right. We all wearing green scrunchies today for Lizzie.

For Lizzie Warren. And they were like like what you don't understand because you fresh and you got all these hot ass ideas from college and shit is that that's not how change works it moves a lot slower we've been through it we know the excitement that you have we're not trying to tampen that but an old white man is going to win this election so we just trying to vote for the old white man that might win so either mike bloomberg or joe biden because they were like it's going to be an old white yeah and and that's and that's actually that's 100 it it was going to be an old white man and then you know and then i mean south carolina kind of said

hey joe biden and then from that point on it was Biden. So, you know, isn't that crazy how like some states also like. I understand states rights and I understand like why we have a Congress and a Senate and it's like, oh, well, if you're from a smaller state, you still get equal representation in the country. But at the same time, I'm like, I don't think all y'all motherfuckers need to be equal. No, I live in California and we are funding the country and we should have more say than the rest of y'all. Absolutely. We're the fifth largest economy in the fucking world. World in the world. Like how is New York City and L.A. got the same voting rights as Topeka, Kansas? Right. Y'all got six people over there. Every time somebody drive into the state, the population number go up.

That's how little people are there. No, it's the Senate. Yeah, it's fucked up. It needs revamping and the Electoral College is a fucking joke. Yeah. It's just it's really hard to go. I mean, I still get all these emails about like,

you know, you know. You know, we need your help. You can make a difference. And it's like, I tried and I don't think I was. Can I make a difference? I don't know. The difference didn't feel like it was made. The difference feels like it's still in progress.

Also, I should give money to candidates. But beyond that, I'm kind of taking it easy you know yeah i gave so much money to candidates like especially in like big election years where we're trying to turn seats and stuff like i'll always donate but sometimes i get those emails afterwards because once you donate you know you get emails from the democratic party for whatever right right sometimes i'm like y'all are begging too much for me i I have to pay taxes. I done paid into so many GoFundMes. My name is Cigna for healthcare. I'm a goddamn healthcare insurance provider in this state.

How about y'all go do some damn work and stop bothering me for my coins? Talking about Hillary needs $24. You know, so-and-so needs $57. What you got? Like, no. Yeah, no, I know. I unsubscribed to so many of them just because I can't do it. I felt bad when I undescribed it from Blue.

I was like, I love y'all, but I have to leave. Got to go. Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Um, so when, when did you start or sort of really get in the sense that you were gonna be able to make a living, make a go of performing? Like, did you feel kind of, I mean, cause there's always that I might, but then like, you know, that that's different from, oh yeah, this is what I do for a living. Yeah.

I will say this cause I feel like not enough actors do this or are honest. I have an extreme amount of privilege in the fact that my family is financially stable enough that when I lived in New York City for two years, they paid my rent. When I moved to L.A., I was working in restaurants and I was paying my own rent, but they still paid my car note and my insurance. Like I I could reach for the stars because I knew that if I fell, I wasn't going to end up on Santa Monica Boulevard trying to like make a coin. You know, like I knew that I had protections and a safety net. I worked my ass off. But I think two things can be true. I think you can have luck and privilege and a little bit of a head start. And you can also be a very hard fucking worker, which is weird to me because in Hollywood,

a lot of performers and actors who have nepotistic relationships much stronger than my own are always trying to be like, Hollywood is a meritocracy and I'm like it's not boo-boo like Vince Diller said that I'm like yo yo Wikipedia both your parents got got blue underlined links you got links on your wiki which means yeah it's you had a head start even if your dad didn't get you a movie role your mama didn't get you a movie role you at least knew where you should take classes you at least knew how to find opportunities and when everyone comes out here we don't know that shit we're just throwing shit at the wall and hoping something sticks you know how many dark alleys i've been down thinking either i'm gonna get murdered or i might get an acting job

yeah many too many honestly i was irresponsible and and he is a an incredibly hard-working person yeah he just is and a talented person but yeah you're right like they're like he can he can see it as a meritocracy but i would say like and okay you want to see it as a meritocracy because you got it you know because you worked hard and you want to own that work and okay i get that but you gotta do it's like a qualified meritocracy it's like a meritocracy with benefits exactly for certain people yeah can be true i just want everybody to know that two things can simultaneously be true you can be maude apatow and you can be lexie on euphoria and yeah your daddy judd apatow and leslie man Lexi on Euphoria. And yeah, your daddy Judd Apatow and Leslie Mann is your mama. We know your parents.

Yeah. But at the same time, like. You're great. You can be great on your own, but we don't have to hide and sweep under the rug. The fact that certain assurances make your life easier when you are trying to, you know, Mount Everest, you know? And I knew, honestly, I put my head down and I worked really, really hard. I was working like 50 hours a week serving and waiting tables. I thought it was part time and they just kept adding me to the schedule.

And I was like, wait a minute. And I did that. I did comedy shows at night. schedule and I was like wait a minute and I did that I did comedy shows at night I got my car towed 12 times because I didn't have parking and would be up all day and all night and then sleep through moving my car sometimes and crazy shit but I knew probably when I booked Florida Girls which um my one of my dearest friends Laura Chen I met her at UCB she created this show after all of my dearest friends, Laura Chin, I met her at UCB. She created this show after all of my auditions and chemistry reads and stuff. When I got the job, she was like, you know, I wrote this role for you. Like I wrote this for you and I couldn't tell you while you were auditioning because I didn't know how it was going to go.

But I wrote this for you. And then she was like, also, this is a pilot presentation. I don't want you to get fired. So, you know, give it your all. But also, like, everyone through the hiring process, casting process was like, we love Lacey, but she comes off like she's never been poor. Like, there's something about her that just gives rich. And I was like, oh, OK, well, let me work on this. So I went and that's why I love her like we were talking earlier about the something in your teeth or just telling the truth I appreciate

that she told me the truth because somebody did get recasted from our pilot presentation and so I'm so glad that I knew like every table read everything that I did it was under scrutiny and I need to bring it and I watched flavor of love and I can't say who because I learned how to be poor yes I watched flavor of love and there was a woman on flavor of love who I literally stole her whole essence her voice her personality where she was from I was like oh this is all perfect so then I was talking like this. Like, I got it all from her. So, yeah, but I knew when I did Florida Girls that I was like, I can make this a career for the rest of my life.

And then when I started podcasting, I think that was when I was truly sure that I would be okay as an entertainer. Because making something, as you know, you've made a lot of brilliant things, Andy. Oh, thank you. Like, making something gives you the independence and freedom as an artist to know that even if the opportunities aren't, like, knock, knock, knocking, you can make opportunities for yourself. Yeah. Well, and I find, too, and as I get older, the making of things is all I care about. I don't care any like,

you know, yeah, I want to make money, you know, and I make a nice living, but I, you know, I don't need, I don't need a fucking private jet.

I don't need three houses. I need a private jet, Andy. All right. You can get, you can have your private jet. I know it's bad for the environment, but I'm black and we didn't get reparations.

So my reparations is me being able to fly a private jet. Y'all fix the environment. Is jet fuel. Yeahations. So my reparations is me being able to fly a private jet. Y'all fix the environment. Is jet fuel. Yeah. That's my reparations is four tank trucks of jet fuel. I want to fly a jet to go up the street. At least you could have drove. I'm like,

y'all got a tarmac up there. I got a jet. Cause I'm going to be laying. Drove the jet. You didn't even fly it. Well, yeah, you can drive it.

You didn't know you could drive it further than just off the tarmac. It doesn't handle well, but you can drive it. Very wide turn. And we have a bumper sticker on the back that says, we do wide turn. Yeah. Well, but that's the making of things is what's fun. And that's what keeps me going and that's like and that's like now you know from the conan show ending in june and you know i've done

some things but nothing nothing steady and i most of the time i'm just sitting here feeling like just put me in coach just you know i just want to make tv you know because it's what i do and it's one you know it's one of the gifts conan gave me was trust in my judgment and for god knows how many years saying is that funny to me and i'd go yeah it's funny or no it needs a new ending or whatever like he allowed me to learn how to make tv because i did it we did it four days a week for a gazillion years so and also you saying trusting your judgment like andy you're super funny like i like i came up in la like you know we all worship you like that you know like seeing you at that presentation with kamala and like being there i was like this is so dope because i was like this is a comedian that i

love and now he's like entering this space and you have such a great sense of comedy and you you know obviously you know that you know it's proven in your work and your life but like being able to trust that you know what's funny is a really dope thing that i think can translate to anybody's life even if you're not a comedian like honestly i take the white man road where there's a lot of unqualified white men doing things every single day and i was like i'll be unqualified till i'm qualified i'm not gonna write myself out of the race oh it's always fake it till you make it yeah always always always it never stops there's always going to be some new

thing you're unsure of and you got to be like well if they're going to act like i can do it who am i to tell them no i can do it sure not? And it's not faking it because I like, I know that phrase is like so popular, but I think that the root of that is just having the confidence and love for yourself to know I'm a smart person. I'm a figure it out. Yeah. Yeah.

It's not, well, it just, I mean, well, first of all, it rhymes. So that's why. And that's why it's cute just I mean, well, first of all, it rhymes. So that's why. And that's why it's cute. I say, yeah.

But but it is kind of like to enter into a situation that you don't have confidence about. You got to you know, you got to you got to get confidence. Yeah. So and then you you acquire it through, you know, through experience. Well, now, do you got any um like what are your big plans with your life 10 kids mobile home your own boat well we know you want a plane yes i do or do you want to are you know do you want to direct do you want to you know i do have your own beauty pageant you know I want to direct, which is something I figured out very recently because working in TV like you get, you know, you get a ton of different directors. Like, yeah, it's not like film.

It's not like where directors have the massive control and TV directors are kind of in and out. in and out but i've worked with a lot of directors and like i have pitched things and written things and punched things up and like oh where's the camera going to be here maybe can we pan from this to this over to us like i've started to learn that like i do have an eye for direction right so it's something that i'm interested in doing more for sure and like professionally but also like i want it would be this is the loftiest dream i'm like it would be nice to own a home in los angeles andy i tried i tried during the pandemic to get myself a home they're talking about millennials don't want to buy houses i'm like bitch houses don't want us to buy them we're being rejected by the house. What you talking about?

I gave the house my own. I went and got pre-approved by the bank and they were like, hey, do you want to tack on like an extra half a mil because you're going to have to outbid people and, you know, fist fight people in the front line with a suitcase full of money like to get a home.

And I'll never forget when I was looking, I'm going to have to start looking again just because rent some is financially like not a smart decision after a certain amount of money it's like this is a mortgage and i'm wasting the first mortgage payment i made i felt like a fucking idiot for the entire previous part of my life oh right i've just been flushing money down the toilet. Down the drain. Yeah. Down the drain. And I am right there with you.

Well, you are out of it. I'm still in it. This is a, I don't own this place that you're looking at right now. It's very much rented. Yeah, yeah. No, I live in a rental. I got divorced a few years ago and we're holding onto the house until my daughter gets out of high school. Oh, nice.

So, I mean, I. We should go get out of high school oh no i i mean i wish you don't get out of high school because the market is hot right now you might have to put your baby up in the motel six they need light on for her listen you i'll give you her number you can talk to her you can tell her so i'll tell her they're gonna go they're gonna leave the light off for her because no she wants us to to have a museum to her childhood that we continue to, you know, curate for the rest of our lives. Oh, y'all are so sweet. I love a little sweet little gullible parent because I didn't have that. When I was leaving for college, my mom was like, let's pack up your room.

And then they turned my room into my sister's room. And then her room became her office slash playroom. And I had to stay in a guest bedroom and it wasn't even that we didn't have enough get bedrooms my mom was just like you'll live here in the boat like you're gone yeah no you know if my daughter wants us to preserve her room she needs to become like a famous assassin or something you know it's like here it is as she left it right because i'm like yeah listen i don't even have that many photos of myself as a child you would think that my family went through a house fire

or something in my youth yeah yeah because when i tell you it's like six photos that i can reference as a child i'm like i hope no movie ever wants pictures of me as a kid because laurie bishop honey i remember i would bring home like art projects and stuff but you have a daughter so you know you you do the art projects at school and you bring it home it's like macaroni some bullshit that your teacher done scraped together and you make some ugly shit out of it and you write mom and daddy on it and i would bring these things home and mom like oh this is so cute and then she will pop the lid of the trash can and throw it away in front of me see that you can't do that you gotta put it on the fridge and then just wait till they're distracted and then throw it away and you know and sometimes like there's good ones

like you want to keep the good ones but then there's someone's like no this is not her best work the fuck this this is going away but to close up your question uh I didn't forget. I love a tangent. I want to write a book, which feels like something that actually may happen pretty soon. I want to turn my podcast into a television show, which is something that I've been working on. make art and have the freedom to help other people in similar positions to me when I started making art or or different you know people of color queer people marginalized people people with different abilities like I want to be able to have a production company where I can assist them in making their art yeah um and maybe one day like i loved ucb and ucb recently got sold to venture capitalists and we'll see what happens from there um but i worked a lot with the ucb for before that happened with project rethink and like just trying to like make a better situation

for young comedians coming up but i might even want to like start a school like that because I got so much out of UCB out of just like having friends who are in the same struggle as me and the same creative journey, getting to watch you and Kamala Harris, like on stage, like learning so much from so many creative, amazing people. I met Laura Chen.

She was my first improv coach. She wrote my first television role for me. Like my manager, I got from UCB, like my agents watched a Herald show to vet me, to hire me. So it's just like, I would want to do something like that to like be able to contribute back to young artists coming up. Cause it was great. Yeah. It's and if they go away, it'll be needed because it was a,

it was a very vital place. Extremely. And, and, you know, and I was very proud of my friends for, for doing it. Okay.

Well, we're almost done. One more question. You're young. And I would say you're definitely still at the beginning, but what do you think you've learned so far? You know? I mean, cause the question, that answer will change as time goes on. I'm sure. say you're definitely still at the beginning but what do you think you've learned so far you know i mean because the question that answer will change as time goes on i'm sure you know what

i've learned so far okay so i'll start with my scammer brain my scammer brain has taught me that if you want to belong in a place or much like what we were talking about before the fake it till you make it just walk in any room and act very unimpressed with everything that's there i have snuck into emmy's parties doing that i have uh met beyonce doing Like, you know, just like be unimpressed and don't be thirsty because that's what people love. Like, just like in relationships where people are like, oh, you got to make them chase you. It's the same thing professionally. Like if people feel like, don't be rude, but like if people feel like you got other things to do and other opportunities, they're much more interested in you than if you are coming off desperate or like you need things like there's there's a lot of power in looking

like i can stay i have to go you know and that was something that i learned because the second that i stopped being pressed and thirsty was the second that people in the industry like i used to do commercial auditions and I remember I took a commercial audition class they was like mail to cast and directors a gift at Christmas a little Starbucks gift card or send your headshot or say thank you like do all this schmoozy ass bullshit I never booked a commercial when I was thirsty to book a commercial when I finally I don't do those auditions anymore but when I was like at the end of my rope and kind of like I'm working I don't need to do this shit whenever I would just show up and be like hey can y'all take me in because my meter gonna be up in uh seven minutes and I'm not putting

no more coins in like when I was just like I don't want to be here they were like her her the one who hates to be here yes her we want her nothing is somewhat nothing is more attractive than someone that doesn't need you yes they're like why don't they need us we want them now like shit they must have something going on if they don't need me yeah right yeah that and i guess this is curtailed to the performance aspect because we're both you know entertainers but I think it can apply generally is that I also learned that and this is something that Ken Bolden an active teacher I had in college taught me every audition is just a show it's just an opportunity for you to entertain people for you to give them joy and ego is what makes us in our heads about, do they like me? Is this going to go

over well? Will I present the way I want? How do I look in the moment? I hope I don't look bad or weird, like all these vanity things. He was like, if you just show up places and you're there to entertain, you're there to do the thing that God put you on the earth for and just give people joy or give people an experience or a connection. If you leave all that other shit behind and you just treat everything like it's a show. Yeah. Then you're one way better off. I've booked way more in that mentality, but also just it's enjoyable for me because so many parts of our lives feel like minutiae they feel like rigmarole they feel like things that we have to get through and that was something that has helped me connect in every

aspect of my life of like every moment is not something that you need to get through like this you're alive and like how can you make the most of everything even the most mundane activities you know which is why i feel like a lot of people do mushrooms. Cause if you do mushrooms, I've done mushrooms before. Everything just started looking more interesting. I was staring at trees and be like, damn, that tree is treeing. Like, wow. I've lived next to this tree for three years and I didn't even know the tree

was over a tree and like this, look at these leaves. Okay. Mother willow go off. You know, you start to appreciate the little things more and conan brian after uh just this because you know him and everything yeah he he came to work after he got a colonoscopy oh my god and uh he was like it might have been the next day but he was like oh my god you know because they put you under to do it and then you know and you had you know you gotta like basically evacuate everything inside you for a day beforehand

and then and then they put you under and then you wake up and you're kind of groggy but then like you go have a big breakfast you know like and so he was like oh my god i felt so good i felt like because i just felt so light and and then the food tasted good and i was like, oh, my God, I felt so good. I felt like because I just felt so light and then the food tasted good. And I was like, yeah, Conan, that's called drugs. You were taking drugs. That's that's the secret to drugs. They make things better. You know, like that's the whole key.

That's yeah, that's drugs. Like, oh, OK. You know, but that's not you're not the first person like you're not the only person that feels good after they come off of like you know whatever it is yeah it was like i had the best sleep they injected the sleep into my veins and wow was that the best sleep i've ever had yeah yeah well lacy i know go. And, you know, I have a life, too. You know, I have things. But thank you so much. I know you're doing it.

This has been a joy. You brought me joy. So you did your job. Oh, thank you. And it's great to see you. And I will see you around campus, I'm sure. Yes. And thank all of you out there for listening.

And we will be back next week with more of this. I've got a big, big love for you. The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco and Earwolf production. It is produced by Lane Gerbig, engineered by Marina Pice, and talent produced by Galitza Hayek. The associate producer is Jen Samples, supervising producer Aaron Blair, and executive producers Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf Make sure to rate and review the three questions

with Andy Richter on Apple Podcasts