The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Laci Mosley: Caught Red-Handed Stories (The Andy Richter Call-In Show)

Episode Date: May 14, 2026

Comedian Laci Mosley (host of Scam Goddess!) joins Andy Richter for a very juicy episode of CAUGHT RED-HANDED stories! Listeners called in to talk wedding debauchery, criminal fraud, what lies are OK in a job interview, and a WILD-CARD ghost encounter! Want to call in? Fill out our Google Form at BIT.LY/CALLANDYRICHTER or dial 855-266-2604 with whatever you want to discuss! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Conan O'Bride. It was out and then in. Oh, it's my headphones. Hi, everybody. Sorry. Technical difficulties. Andy Richter here. You're listening to the Andy Richard Collins show.

We're live today. I haven't been here in a while, so this is exciting. And we're talking caught red-handed stories. You can figure that out what that means. And I've got Lacey Mosley here. She's here with me, and we're going to be talking about getting caught red-handed. Give us a call at 855-266-2-604 if you want to get in on it. Lacey is an actor, comedian, podcaster, and television host.

Slow down, woman. I'm trying to give you. You know, her from Scam Goddess I Carly Going Dutch, a Black Lady Sketch show, and much more. You can listen to Scam Goddess wherever you get your podcast and stream last year's Scam Goddess TV show on Hulu and Disney Plus. Hello. Hello. Hello, Andy. How are you?

I'm wonderful. It's so good to see you. It's great to see you, too. Yeah, it's always great to see you. Yes. Last time I saw you were cutting me off in the garage, Andy. Was that cutting? No, yeah, I took a spot that you wanted, but that's not cutting you off.

No, no. You don't own every spot in the garage, Lacey. Okay, cutting off is a strong word. Andy would never cut anyone off, but he was just quicker to the draw than I was. Yes. But it was very funny, Andy, because when I got on the elevator, I heard as the doors were closing, And you were like, you snooze you lose. Yeah.

Well, this parking lot is weird because it's like sometimes there's no one here and then sometimes there's no spots at all. Yeah. There's no one or everyone. And it doesn't seem like actually up here on this floor of the Sirius XM Studios, it's ever any different. I don't know where all these people are going. No. And I love that for that. Yeah.

Yeah. It's exciting. It's an exciting place. It's always full of mystery. So what are you up to these days? Any new stuff? I know for a while there, you were shooting overseas. Yes.

And what was that? That was going Dutch. That was in Ireland. I still have my little Celtic necklace. I love Irish people. They're my favorite. And is that still going? No.

So actually, we just finished the second season and that just aired. So that's all that there is. Oh, really? Yeah. Is that Dennis Leering? Yes, it is. Yeah, yeah. It's like my third Irish dad, maybe four.

I don't know what it is, but I just love Irish. We got Conan, I got Dennis. I just love them. Yeah, the Irish, you're all right. They are. They're a little maudlin, you know, a little dramatic at times. And that works for me because I'm also dramatic. I mean, I started the show with drama, Andy.

That's true. That's true. I remember when you cut me up. So what else you got? So I just finished the scam. Got us live tour this week with Live Nation. Did it do well? It was so much fun.

Oh, great. Everyone came out. I had one little issue where I couldn't get the point of sale to work for the merch. So the merch table, like the person who was running, it was like, oh, we can't get like the cards to work or da-da-da-da. And it was getting so up to the wire. I was like, okay, new plan. And so I made a merch table out front. This was in San Francisco.

And I asked them to print me out a sign. So we laid out all the merch, the books, the hats, the totes, everything, right? Yeah, yeah. And then I had them print me out of sign and put it in a sign holder and it said, steal this. It was kind of my litmus test to see who would just take it. Right, right. And then when they came into the theater, I was like, okay, who took something? And it was like only like 10 people.

And I was like, I can't believe this. It's a scam goddess. Have I taught you nothing? Right, exactly. And you're getting a directive. Right. Steal this. And there's no one manning the table.

I think they thought it was a setup. Wow. That's amazing. Yeah. And did they feel guilty and give you some cash anyway? I think some people like tried to throw something in a bucket or something. But there was no one manning it. I just sat there afterwards and signed books and things like that.

And it was a really lovely experience. Yeah, yeah. So now we're working on developing other things and the podcast, obviously. So there's some new launch things happening with that too. Yeah. Do you, were there, did you do a lot of dates on the Lyme thing? No, I only did six. Oh, okay.

Because of the time. Yeah, that's still, that's a lot of work. And I imagine it's a lot on you. I mean, you're obviously, you're moving the merch outside, you know. Yeah. of work. It's a lot of work, but it was a big reward because it's also like a presentation so I come out with like a slide show and like there's like a lot of like moving parts.

But it's really rewarding. Yeah. Like seeing the fans come in red or their merch or you know coming with their moms. It's also it's also I like whenever anything I do something like that because you can sit in the studio and feel like is anyone listen, you know, right? Is anyone listening to this? Does this have any? Or, you know, people, when they walk by me in an airport and go like, I love your podcast.

I'm always like, oh, good. People are listening, you know. I don't know. For me, it's just, you know, it just still feels like it's so isolated. I don't know. Maybe it's just from years of working in front of a. A live audience. Yeah.

I won't lie. I have to cheat and look out into the booth. Like right now, like my producers here, my engineer. Jess and Rich are here. Yeah, yeah. And that's my, like, they're my pacifiers for a show where it's no audience. I'm just, like, staring at the booth, like, thirstily the whole time. Like, is it good?

Yeah, is it good? Rich knows to laugh at everything just because I'm so deeply insecure. Right. Like, Rich, we need you falling out of your chair today. Like, I want to see legs kicking in the air. Well, now, our topic today caught red-handed. We did this once before. I think Carrie O'Donnell was here when we did it.

And do you have? have any tales of either catching or being caught? Being caught red-handed. Yes. So I notoriously don't like to wait in lines because I feel like they're really bad for my self-esteem. So if it's like a line where I don't have any connections, I'll have a little cash on me.

I'll walk up to the bouncer, just like do a little handshake. Like I'm not, I can't do this. And I remember one time I was at a party and I caught a glimpse of the bouncer's list. and I saw this name Jason Lee that had plus two and it was me and my friend and I was like oh we're Jason Lee's plus two and Jason was right behind me

and he was like no they're not and I was like there was no way to hide the embarrassment because I clearly just lied and did not know this man was two feet away right right well did he and he didn't say because the you know the gallant thing would have been like well all right let's make it

plus four but no not in Hollywood no no no I still managed to get But it was very funny to be caught like that out in the open. Like the bouncer heard. Like there were people in line. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to be very like, yeah, we're just, yeah, plus two. That's us.

Yeah. Oh, my God. It's like, get out of here, a woman. This is, I had something to happen to me. And see, and this is kind of caught rent-handed, but it's not really me, but it is like getting caught. And I actually was just telling my producer, Sean, this yesterday. And it's like, it's, you know, My life is pretty boring.

This is like one of the craziest things happened. Really? The first time I met you, you were interviewing Kamala Harris at UCB like eight years ago. But that's a long. It was Kamala Harris. She's, you know, she's been out of the eye for a while. I'm just saying I think your life is pretty exciting. Okay.

Well, thank you. But anyway, we're getting a bunch of work done on our house. Our house is very old. They're stripping paint. There's lead. So we have to be out of the house. You know, like, and I was on tour with Dancing with the Stars. my wife was out of time.

Thank you. But my wife is very much, she loves a bargain. And so she had to find a place to put, and because I was going to be out of town on tour, she had to find a place to put her, my daughter, and our two dogs, one of whom is 110 pounds. So we need, it's like she's a big dog. And it's limits here. She didn't like any of the Airbnb prices. She figures out, hey, there's, because she looks on who takes big.

big dogs that here, that in Pasadena, one of the motel chains, and it has a number in it. It's between five and seven. And she finds out, yeah, yeah. And she finds out, oh, they take big dogs. And it's reasonably priced and it's right by my daughter's school. And she's like, and she's like, all right, we'll just stay there. And she's really proud of herself for her frugality. And I'm like, Oh, okay. Enjoy that. And I came home for a, well, I came on for a minute to do, because we did two shows in L.A. So I was going to stay with them one night in this motel.

Okay. She'd stayed the night before just the two of them because I'd been doing the show. And she was like her, from her, her proud of herself for being thrifty turned into, this place fucking sucks. It's so lousy. or so loud. And it's just the sheets are terrible. She's like, I'm like, yeah.

Did she expect like a hundred-de-catchel? No, no. I don't know what she expected, but I was like, yeah, that's, I don't think she'd stayed in like a regular cheap motel in a long long time. Where the door opens to the outside? Yes, exactly.

So she's not happy with it. And I'm like, well, that's what you get. We go there. I'm, you know, I go there the first night. We have the dogs. We pick up my, daughter, we go to dinner, and we get to the motel. And it's my first time there. I'm bringing my stuff in, and I'm plugging in my phone next to my side of the bed, and I open the drawer next to the nightstand.

And it's where my wife has put my daughter, my daughter who's six, her underwear and socks. And on top of the underwear and socks is six empty airline bottles of liquor. Okay. Four tequila, two brandy. Are they open? They are empty. Okay. They are empty.

Some had caps on, some had them off. And I, for a moment, I'm like, is my, is my daughter been playing with empty booze bottles that she found around the motel? And I, and I said, what's with the booze bottles? And my wife went, what? And came over and looked. And then, and just, she didn't need to say anything. I was like, we're getting the fuck out of here. We're getting the fuck out of here because, and the bed was kind of like not really nice.

And I was like, ew. let's get the fuck out of here. And I was like, I'm going to tell the desk. And she goes, no, no, I made all the arrangements. I'll do it. You just load up the car. And it took a, because she brought half our house in tote bags. So I'm loading up the car.

Leave my daughter in the room. They'll leave the dogs in the room. And at some point she comes over as I'm in the parking lot. And she says, the kid at the desk said, maybe it was your husband that did it. I said, what? Now he lives for drama too. And she said, she said, yeah. I said, yeah, you're going to see.

somebody on the, you know, the surveillance tape. And he said, well, what if we don't? She, what do you mean? What if you don't? You will. And he's like, yeah, but maybe we won't. And he finally got to like, well, maybe it was your husband that did it. And I was fucking furious. And I'm like, let me go talk to him. And she's like, don't, don't, you know, I'll handle. And I went in and he was on the phone. She goes, he's talking to the manager, but I still was like, hey, what the fuck did she say about my, you know, and And she's like, no, he's talking to the manager. Go away. And so I went back and finished the packing, put my daughter and the dogs in the car, pulled back up to the office, came back in.

The kid's off the phone. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? What do you say to this woman who's freaked out? She's got a six-year-old. She's going to be staying here and that people are in her room, partying on her bed, doing goat. God knows what. And he's like, well, I said, I said, I want you to apologize to her. And he's like, I'm not going to apologize.

I think it's a reasonable thing to assume. Well, given the clientele of this specific establishment. Yes. But when, you know, and I was like, and the kid was a Latino. My wife is a Latina. I thought maybe he was making some sort of Latina assumption, you know, like, and I mean, not that like my white face is going to change things, but it's still like, what the fuck, man? I'm here yelling at you. And then I was, I also was like, you were telling my wife.

if she's either a liar or a fucking schmuck, you know, or a sucker who doesn't know that her husband's a secret drunk. And then you're saying that me, the secret drunk, is the dumbest fucking secret drunk on earth. I know where I'll hide the evidence. My daughter's underwear drawer. Trash cans don't exist. And then the manager comes in and he's like, sir, you need to call him down. I'm like, no, I don't need to call him. He's got in my, because he's upset too and you're upset.

I'm like, yeah, I'm fucking upset because somebody was fucking around in our room, the room that my six-year-old is going to sleep in. And I was like, if you went to McDonald's and you found a cockroach in your hamburger and you went up to the front desk or the front counter and said, hey, there's a cockroach in my burger and they said, well, maybe somebody at your table put it there. How would you react? What the fuck would you say? You brought that roach in here. I was just like this. I know that what this is, what this place is. But like, it's still, you got to have, like somebody comes to you and says, Someone broke into my room. You don't immediately turn it back on them.

That's not a service. You know? And then the kid was like, he, and I was like, what principle are you standing on to not apologize to my wife to accuse me of putting fucking booze bottles in the drawer? And he's like, I'm not going to apologize. And then he left and the manager was there. And I told the manager, I said, that kid is going to apologize to my wife. Because I took my daughter home while my wife, because my wife called the cops,

because she wanted to file a report. And I was like, do you really? And she's like, yes, I do. So I took her home. But before I left, I said, he's going to apologize to my wife. And I said, and I don't do this. I'm not a Karen. I said, but if he doesn't apologize her, tomorrow I'm getting on the phone.

And I'm going as high up the motel, not five or seven food change. I think it's like maybe three flights of stairs. Something like that. And I said, I'm going to make sure that you guys get fucked up because this is ridiculous. He's like, I understand sir, I understand sir. And but I was just like, it was mind blowing to me that, that, like, what this kid was standing on. I don't understand it, you know.

But it was me, actually. It was four bottles of tequila and two brandies. It's my standard order. And when I told my wife, I said, you know, four, four tequila and two brandies, to me, that says date night. Right. You know what I mean? That's a his and hers order.

from the liquor store around the corner. So I was like... Because it's two different types of alcohol. It sure is. It sure is. And I'm just like, that's double you. You know? Because what were y'all doing after y'all took your little shooter?

Yes, exactly. In the afternoon. It was in the afternoon. Not the delight. Not the afternoon delight. But anyway, I... Oh, wait. My headphone keeps shorting out just so everyone knows.

Anyway, that's my story. I didn't get caught, but I was accused of doing something. That's so sweet that, Andy, the closest did you have a red hand story, too, is someone falsely accusing you. Yeah, no, no. No, the closest I get to getting caught red-handed was that I was thinking, because I was thinking about this, is one time my ex-wife and I were in Vancouver, and they have mercenary crows there that try and shit on you. Okay. And we were sitting on a bench and there were crows on a pole over and a guy was walking.

And we were silently like watching and waiting and what, you know, like, is it going to happen? And one of them almost got him. And he like looked and then caught us looking at him. And there was just the definite unspoken moment of like, you were going to let me get shit on, weren't you? And the unspoken moment of us like, yeah, sorry. Yeah, we were on the crow's side. about that. Listen, you know, we just wanted to see what happened.

All right, let's go to the phones. 855-266-2-604. Thank you for letting me vent, listeners. It was a stressful event. You know what, Andy? I love that you don't play about your wife. No. That's what I'm taking from this.

Because everything else, Andy, like, the service that that place is they put the light on. They told you. The light is going to be on. I know, I know. That's it. I know. That's it.

I know. And for me, it wasn't even personal. It's like, oh, you think I'm a drunk? Who gives a shit? Yeah. But it was being disrespectful to you. Yes. Yeah.

Jesus Christ. And she was freaked out, you know. But anyway, Maria from Oklahoma, I'm going to stop now. I feel like I've gone on too long. It's been a therapy session for me. Hi. Hi, Maria. How are you?

I am so great. How are you guys? It's such a thrill to be on the phone with you. Big fan. Love the podcast. I think I've been a serious person forever, serious like them. but I just started listening to the Conan channel, and it has been the joy of my life these last six months. Oh, that's great.

The best escape. So glad. I laugh out loud. I look like a crazy person in the car laughing to myself at all the antics. Well, thank you so much. Well, you got Lacey and me here, ready to hear your story. Well, oddly enough, mine probably also starts at a most. hotel of similar repute.

Okay. I was, I was 15, and I had gone to a party, which, you know, I'm a Gen X, raised in the 80s, you know, child of a Catholic, you know, raised Catholic and on the, and in Oklahoma. So we drank. Yes. That was, that was our fun time. And so I was, I was at a party and had had been overserved by. by quite a bit. Someone called my younger brother to come and get me or a friend, I think, to come and get me.

And I had been drinking so much that I think they took me on a little tour to show other friends how drunk I was. Oh, that's fun. Yeah, to sober me up before I got home. Yeah. And when I got home, my mom was waiting. Oh. She, and I must preface to say she's a lovely woman and we have a wonderful relationship. But on that particular evening, she was very mad.

And so I walked up the stairs. It was 1988. We were in the middle of the presidential debates. And she said, where have you been? And I said, I've just been out with friends. We were watching TV. Have you been drinking? No.

Are you sure? What have you been doing? And I said, Mom, we were watching the presidential ducacacus. So that might have been a give-in-the-way that I had. I've been drinking. For the presidential of the caucus. Yeah, that was bad, bad giveaway. And so then she asked again, have you been drinking?

I said, no. She asked one more time. I said, no, she slapped me. Oh, wow. Oh, I'm going to do. Yeah. So that's why I wanted to say. She's a lovely woman.

But I was a drunk 15-year-old. So I was in a bit of trouble. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I mean. Red-handed. Had they, I mean, were there like strict rules against drinking and, and, or was it kind of like you just hadn't, because you hadn't told?

Yeah, of course. You know, it was illegal. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The law. Yeah. But is this like mean girls rules? Like, as long as you do it in the house.

Everyone's been teens. Yeah. Exactly. It's in the house. Well, and I'm Latina. I had gone to lots of Mexican dances where lots of drinking had happened. Yeah. You know, they knew that we snuck a beer here or there.

Sure, sure. No, I think it was the lying. It was the lying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a latent. I'm not drunk.

That probably, yeah, if you had fessed up, it probably would have gone better for you. That's a lesson for all the kids out there. Yeah. Right. So I hope everyone has a good time with the presidential due caucus. That's coming up. All right. Thank you.

In the next couple years. Thank you so much, Maria. Thanks for the kind words. You bad. Love it. Bye-bye. How were your parents about drinking? Oh, my parents were the first people who gave me alcohol.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. See, mine were very lax about it too. Like, they knew that it's like they're from the school of like, look, we know what it's like to be. We were teenagers, so we're not going to, you know, put up a big front, you know. I think my parents just thought I was a loser. We got a jumpstart this kid's social career. I was wearing like suits to school and like very involved in school activities.

Like I, we had a fully stocked bar. My entire high school, I never touched it. My mom always threw parties. I never drank at them. And like big lavish parties where we have like valets and servers and stuff. Wow. And so my, this is so sad. Now I'm saying out loud, Andy, like I really was like not a cool kid.

I got my revenge as an adult. Yeah, yeah. So when I was 17 and I was about to go to college, and my parents were like, okay, you can't go to college without having a sip of alcohol. You got to get you drunk. Yeah. At my grad party, they were like, you got to know what your limits are because we don't want you out there falling out into the street. It was more like precautionary. Right, exactly.

You need drinking lessons. They also set me up with my first date. Wow. Yeah, when I was 16, they were like, you're not going on any dates and I found a nice boy. Oh my goodness Who is friends with my home girl Or my home girl's son at the job So he's gonna take you out

And teach you how to be treated like a lady And was he nice? Did you like him? Oh yeah, he opened all the doors He gave everything He pulled out the chair He walked on the outside of the sidewalk Yeah yeah

Like I really got a like I had to court Isn't that nuts? That is nice. Yeah, yeah yeah I'm not that all Yeah, it was like a cotillion But you know Without all the dancing

And of course that of course made him absolutely unsexy, I bet. No, we ended up dating. Oh, really? Yeah, I don't know. I'm very pragmatic. I was like, here's a boy. Look, here he is. That's all been set up. He's been assigned to me. Yeah, it's plug and play. Plug and play. Forgive me, but, you know.

Maybe a little, I'm definitely on the, I'm on the spectrum. Okay. My dad had to explain to me when I was going to high school, because I was a year, or college, I was a year older than him. I was like, okay, so we'll hang out for the summer and then we'll break up and I'll go to college. And I told the guy that. And I was like telling him, I was like, oh my gosh, your prom day, better be cute.

Like all this stuff I was saying to him. And my dad was like, you were torturing this poor boy. He didn't think you guys were going to just break up because you were going to college. Oh, my God. And I was like, no, the setup is over. Yeah. I mean, come on. He's got to understand.

Out of sight, out of mind. Goodbye. Wow. Awful. Will you sit like that, Andy? Well, but I mean, you said it the same way. I know. I know.

Oh, my goodness. Let's go back to the phones. 855-266-2-604 is the number if you got a caught red-handed story. Shane from Alabama has one. Hi, Shane. You got me and Lacey. Hey, Andy. Hey, Lacey.

Andy, I'm a big fan, by the way. I don't know if you'll remember, but I was the guy that watched Andy Richter controls the universe. Just the one guy? There were four, sir. There were four people. my mother, my aunt, and my sister. Shane, you are funny. All right, so my story starts with me getting invited to a wedding.

Okay. My friend Lily is what we'll call her. She was a groom's woman or her friend. We'll just call him groomed. So I showed up at the wedding as her plus one early because she had to be there early. Okay. So while I'm just hanging out, groom comes up to me, and he's like, dude, I'm super nervous.

Now, I've met him three or four times, and I've met the bride twice at this point. Okay. So he's like, I'm going to drink, and I need you to drink with me. And I was like, all right, like, sure. You let me in the alcohol early? Like, awesome. So we start drinking before this ceremony. Can I just, can I stop for one second?

Wasn't there anybody he was closer to that he? could do the drinking with? I don't know. Yeah. I honestly don't know. Now, he did seem to like me a lot. Okay. You know, we only met a few times.

Well, you're very funny, Shane. You're very funny and you make people feel good about them. I want to drink with you, Shane. Yeah, yeah. Oh, God. I want to drink with both you guys. All right. All right.

So I'm sorry. Go ahead. No, no, you're fine. So he and I drink, and I've got a really good buzz going on by the time the ceremony started. Okay. What was you drinking? The after party, the reception. What booze are you drinking?

And that's when the alcohol is free flow in. Yeah. What would you start with? Yeah, I want to, you know, I want to visualize. Okay. It was, all right. So it was at this point in my life back when this was, I mixed drinks mostly. I didn't drink things straight.

Sure. So I was mixing bourbon and grape soda, which is shockingly good. Wow. Bourbon and grape soda. Wow. You got a name for that chain? Yeah. No.

That's like homemade Roba Tussin. I've got named for several drinks. The Tesson. Like Mountain Dew and vodka is a Rocky Four. Okay. Okay. And I used to make beer mimoses out of Miller Highlight and orange juice. Oh, that's bad.

Beermoses. I was like, you know, that's white trash and high class. It's the champagne of beers. Yeah, I don't know about that. It's the champagne of beers. I'm what you're saying. It's the campaign of beers. So y'all lit.

Y'all are lit at the wedding. Yeah, it's more like the Andre of beers. All right, so go ahead. So anyway, you're drinking your homemade robitussin. And then the party comes around. Yeah, yeah, we're at the reception, which is at the same location as the wedding, and everybody's just getting hammered. And I'm hanging out with Lily and her husband.

And bride comes up and is like, hey, we decided we're not going to go to the hotel tonight. we're just going to go back to our place and continue the party. Are you guys coming? And Lily and her husband were both like, no, we're not going to go. Like, we're just going to head home. And I was like, well, I rode with them. So, you know, I'm leaving with them. And she looks at me and says, no, you're coming.

And I was like, what? No, I wrote with them. Like, that's my ride. Like, I'm leaving with them. And she goes, I'm the bride and it's my day. Wow. And you have to do what I say. Does that mean you get kidnapped?

people? I'm the bride and it's my day. That's right. Yeah. Get me your car. I looked over at both of them and they just, and I'm drunk. I'm super drunk. I looked over at Lily and her husband and they both just shrugged their shoulders and they're like, she is the bride.

And she was like, we'll make sure you get home. And I was like, all right, all right, fine. So I'm going with you guys. There's no rule that says the bride that the bride is like. Get in her trunk. She's the bride. Like dictator for the day. I've never heard that.

Anyway, go ahead, Shane. So we end up back at their place and the party's going on. Now, the last thing I remember, remember, as in I remembered when I woke up the next morning, is she brought in a bottle of vodka where everyone was hanging out. And there's, you know, there's 12, 13 people in this room hanging out. Yep. And no one would drink with her. And she was like, you're going to drink with me.

And I was so shit-faced at this time. I was just like, whatever. Like, let's do them. So we did however many shots of vodka. Now, I don't have any real memories beyond this, but I've gathered pieces that I kind of remember from being told what happened after. But this is what happened after is she told everybody she couldn't find her cigarettes. And her husband said that they're probably in the car. And she said she couldn't find him and asked him to come help her.

He said, no, I'm busy. She said, you come help me find him. and I went with her to help her find the video. That's where she pounced. When we got outside, she asked me if I knew about the ghost tracking app. You would open it, and as you would turn around,

it would signal if there were ghosts, and you'd walk towards them. And we went into the woods, and I was the first person to sleep with her as Mrs. whatever, her new last name. My goodness. I don't know, man, because the husband feels like he's in on this. This is, see, this is what grape juice and bourbon does.

Now, Shane, can I ask you, were there any other party favorites happening here? Because it's not just give it alcohol. It was really just alcohol and weed. Now, the first time I met them, we all did smoke a little bit of opium. Okay, sure. I was going to go for cocaine, but okay. So she, yeah, she knew you were a man of the world. that you appreciated exotic things.

I was traveled. Yes. Yeah. Now, do you have any recollection of the, of the trist in the woods? A little bit. I have like tiny little snapshots of things where like after I, like I woke up the next morning with my pants covered in mud. I was asleep in their living room floor and I had no idea what it happened. That's like the beginning of a Nicole Kim in miniseries.

Yeah, yeah. And you're Nicole Kidman. I lived like a mile and a half away. Yeah, yeah. A mile and a half, maybe two miles. So I just went ahead and walked home and went back to bed. Like got out of my muddy clothes and went back to bed. I didn't think anything.

Yeah. Like I thought I probably got real stupid. But, yeah, when I woke up, I had message after message of people being like, what the hell, dude, what the fuck, you know, blah, blah, blah. And it took me like 10 minutes to even start together. gather what what had gone on. And funny thing, and I won't get into the details of it because I'll leave you hanging on it. Okay.

All of this led to me taking a poop in Lily's front yard and not out of spite, not out of necessity. How do we? Yeah, that was a real, you really ground the gearbox there narratively. Was this, okay, was this poop before, after the, the woodland and you walked home. Did you walk home? After, after. Like the same day?

Lily was super pissed at me. Oh. Lily was super pissed at me. It was like, so you just happen. But how is there, how do you just happen to take a shit in her yard?

Yeah. So I was moving to Birmingham. What does that at the door? Okay, listen. We had to get to do. Come on. We've already spent a lot of time on this. It was like the year was 19.

More than my motel story. We've talked about this. No, I was moving to Birmingham, so she was having a going away party. Oh, I see. Okay. Well, she got pissed at me because of all of this and decided she wasn't having it. I was getting drunk with two other friends who were like, she shouldn't be pissed at you. That's bullshit.

We're going over there. To take a shit. Yeah, to take shit in her yard. She was still having the party, but it wasn't for me. Oh, wow. While we're hanging out, while we're hanging out, like my stomach got messed up. Right. And she wouldn't let me in the house at all.

And it got to the point where it was my pants or her yard. And I was like, it's got to be her yard. I'm not writing home. I get it. I get it. It's really, I mean, it's all in sort of the same theme, to be frank. Yeah. No, that's true.

Yeah, yeah. Bourbon, mountain dew, fucking brides, shitting in yards. And moving to Birmingham, which was maybe a step up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got other weddings to go to. Clearly you're the favorite.

You're a wedding. What I do, Shane, I do want to, we did gloss over the point is because since it's caught red-handed, how did people find this out? Did the woman go back in and say, you know, I've been deflowered? Immediately the next morning. Oh, wow. Okay, that was another thing. Apparently she told me outside was she had a hall pass.

I guess he had cheated on her in their relationship. at some point. Wow. And she was saving it. She had a really amazing sense of dramatic timing. She does. She waited until the papers were signed. I know when I'll cash this in.

The night of our way. Yeah. And I'll use the old ghost app. You know the old lost my keys. Got to get my ghost app. Let's go to the woods trick. Okay. Yeah.

It's in the pickup artist, chapter four. Okay. All right. Well, Shane, thank you so much. That was an exciting tale. It was, you know. I'm glad you guys enjoyed it. It was like you could be vice president now with that tale.

You really can. You know? If you get my meeting. Hey, yeah. That's actually a good call. Get this out there and we'll start my campaign. All right. All right.

Thank you, Shane. All right. Thanks, guys. All right. Bye. Wow. Shane is wild as hell. Wow.

Wow. That's, you know, you hear those stories about Tony Bourdain, you know, that he in one his first book he tells a story about working at a restaurant and i think newport road island and like the cook having sex with a woman in the backyard of the restaurant while she's in her wedding dress like that the the reception is at the place and that and you hear those stories and it's like wow wow well that's like i want to be a part of one yeah but i can't say that i haven't been close not to the the screwing but to the like, I have a friend who was cheating on the person that she was with for a long,

long, long time with different people and stuff. And so when they were getting married, we were all on high alert if there was going to be somebody to like get up and object. And like, we would have to like tackle them. We're like, take them out. We all had sniper rifle. And we were ready. The brights maze had our scopes.

Oh, dear. Christina from New York. Lacey and I are here. Hi. Hi there, Christina. How are you? Hi, Andy. Hi, Lacey.

I'm so excited to speak with you guys. Oh, thank you very much. Yeah. Well, my caught red-handed story is not me getting caught red-handed. It's me catching somebody. Oh, good. I work for a mental health organization and we do community mental health. I'm a supervisor on the team.

So we go into people's houses, we'll meet them at coffee shops, we'll meet them in the park. It's, you know, whatever they want, whatever they want to meet. So we have a bunch of people on the team. I suspected this one guy was not doing his job. He was a fairly new hire. And he, I mean, more than suspected not doing his job, he, like, actually was not doing it. And he was not filling out notes and not doing things correctly. but I also suspected he was not meeting these people and just saying he was meeting these people.

And that is not just fraud, but Medicaid fraud. So it's federal as well. Wow. You know, I love fraud. Which is super, right, which is super fun as a supervisor on the team to have somebody committing Medicaid fraud. Wow. So anyway, I was just suspecting it this whole time. And one day he put in notes saying, you know, I saw this guy. Everything seems well.

He's got food. He's taking his meds. He's going to his appointments all as well. Cool. I get a call from this man's family later that day saying the man died three days ago. No. Oh, my God. Yep.

So, yeah. So then I approached this guy on my team, the person who was working for us. And I was like, oh, so you said everything was well. He's doing okay. Everything's fine with him. And he was like, yeah, everything's okay, you know, just like I said. And I was like, okay, well, he died. He's done for days now.

And then he totally backtracked and was like, no, I meant the other guy. There was, oh, I missed up the names. I didn't know what I was saying. Yeah, that's when you got a backtrack and be like, he's okay with the Lord. Okay? You can't be better than being with the Lord. Yes. I'm sure he's dining well in heaven.

Take all his angel pills. Yes. Oh, and that's such a shitty backtrack. Oh, oh, not that guy. No, the dead guy. I knew that guy was dead. No, I meant the other. No, I meant somebody else.

Who's alive? The name did not line up. They were nowhere close to each other. Are you like in the office when you confront him with this? I confronted him over the phone because it is community-based. So it's very fieldwork based. I see. Yeah.

I see. Yeah. But we fired him in person. Right, right. He had to come because also we have like money to give out to people, you know, to buy their clients thing. So he was probably marketing. I had to make up this whole story thing.

Now do you, oh, you know, our money is low. I need you to bring the money back. so that we could disperse it to other people. And then when he came in, he gave me the money and then we fired him. Now, do you, do you, like, send the law after him? Or do you just kind of just part ways and just cut your losses? Yeah, that's kind of above me. I did send HR after him, and then they had to do it because it was, like, a documented note,

and it is federal Medicaid, insurance fraud. Sure, yeah. I don't know where that ended up. exactly, but our HR handled that. And it's probably one of those frustrating things where they won't tell you. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like you can't even go in and say like, hey, did you bust that guy?

Like they're just like, well, we can't really say. And it's like, God damn it, I want to know. I need closure. Totally. We could all do. Yeah. They did not. They would not disclose anything to me.

But the most frustrating part actually is that we tried to fire him immediately. We brought it up to HR and we were like, me and my other supervisor, we were saying what he did. And HR said, well, put him on a performance improvement plan. And we were, and give him 30 days to improve. And we were like, no, I can't just enough. That's hilarious. Give him a strong warning. Don't lie about dead people again.

Well, he said he was sorry. Yeah. So was dead. Sunday. God. All right. And look what happened to him. Yes, exactly.

Christine, I do appreciate your methodology here, though. You gave me a very, like, law and order approach. Yeah, yeah. Once you knew that the guy was dead, you still came in and were like, yeah, so. We, like, let him walk into his own track. Right, right. Exactly. That's so funny.

That's doing fine. Listen, we need that money back. Would you mind? Yeah. Yeah, you lowered him. You did it perfect. I think because I just never, I never liked this guy also. and he just wasn't doing his job.

And I was just like, this is my chance. HR is not helping. I'm going to do this. So satisfying when you get rid of somebody you don't like. Man, if he had been more of a personality hire, perhaps you would have been looking into him. Yeah, exactly. Then you would have been like, well, he says he's sorry. Right.

That's why I'm a personality hire, okay? I may be seven minutes late sometimes. I may steal office supplies. But you know what? When I come in, I'm a ray of sunshine. I am a good time. I would turn my eyes to all of those things. But you got to see your clients.

I understand. All right. Well, Christina, thank you so much. Thank you guys. I love you, Andy. I love you too.

Thanks for calling in. Thank you. And thanks for being a, being vigilant. Right. About fraud. Especially if you're doing the community service like that. Like ripping off people.

You're punching down. What a scumbag thing to do. But also I wish you was more of a creative life. What do you mean? I meant the other guy. No, you got to stick with this line out. Exactly. And see it through. He's dead. Well, then who is that that I saw this morning? Right. Someone stole his ID. I killed him. Fraud. Forget fraud. I'm a murderer. Joe from New York. Oh, this is exciting. We got a wild card, Lacey.

Which means an off topic. It could be anything. We don't know what Joe's got. Joe, what have you got? Well, this would fall under the category of ghost stories. Love it. My favorite wild card. Oh, I have double sound effects. Someone must have put more quarters in the meter. Let me get my ghost app out. All right, well, go ahead, Joe.

I love ghost stories, please. Okay, great, great. Okay, so my 83-year-old mother lives at a retirement community. Okay. And last year, she fractured her ankle, so she had to go stay at a physical rehab place for a couple of months. So I was visiting her at the rehab place and she asked me to go back to her apartment at the retirement community to get her wallet so that she can have her ID and her insurance card and everything. Okay, so I go back to her apartment and she told me the wallet should be

on the nightstands, but I don't see it there. So I call my mom and I say, is there any place else to be here? So she tells me a few other places to look, you know, check the coffee table, check the kitchen counter, whatever. No luck. I look for like 15 minutes and it's nowhere. So eventually mom says, never mind, we'll find it some other time. Don't worry about it. Okay. So I hang up and I start heading toward the door to leave when I hear behind me a soft thud.

So I turn around and right in the spot where I've been standing when I was on the phone with my mom, the wallet is sitting on the floor. Wow. Yeah. And it absolutely was not there before. It's a small room. There's no way I could have missed it in this tiny room. Right. Especially right at my feet.

Yeah. And I'm not even normally superstitious. But, you know, as everyone knows, when something happens that you can't explain, the only possible answer is ghost. It's ghost. Absolutely. Yeah. What else could it be?

So, and I'll have to figure, I mean, if any place is going to be haunted, statistically speaking, it's going to be a retirement time where someone dies. People are dying. And they're left and right. Yeah. Dropping like flies. That's their business plan. It's like destination death.

Yeah. Yeah. The place is lousy with ghosts. Yes. So, okay. Continue. Go ahead.

I'm sorry. No, I'm just wondering, did you check with your mother and say, hey, by the way, do you know you have a roommate? I did.

Well, yeah. I mean, well, first, I'm in the apartment and I'm all creeped out. And I don't know what to do

because, you know, what do you do when there's a spirit from forever? Thank you. So finally, I just say, that is exactly what I did. Now, Joe. I said in the loudest, yes.

You said thank you? I said, thanks for your help in, you know, as friendly a tone as I could because if there is a ghost, I at least want to be on good times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, I'm all creeped out. I don't know. What else do you do? And then you just get out. And I also figure, yes.

And actually, before I walk out the door, I thought to say one more thing. I said, by the way, mom is okay. she should be back in a few weeks, you know, because in case the ghost is the worrying type. Right. And then I get the hell out of there and I'm freaked out. In case the ghost wants to throw some parties. Now, Joe, Joe, I want to be on your side here with this ghost story. But as a woman who's had several male Instacart shoppers, I do have to ask you how hard you looked in this apartment.

Did you look under the bed? Did you open some drawers? Did you look in the bathroom? Because that wallet might have been there the whole time. I'm just saying, I've had Instacart Shoppers take a picture of a banana and say there's no bananas. And I was like, that's the banana in the picture. And then they still bring a cucumber, you know? But, Joe, I want to believe you looked hard.

That is a very fair question. I looked as hard as I am capable of as a man. What does that mean, Joe? No, but I was on the phone with my mom and she's telling me every place to check. And I check all these places. And ultimately, it's right there at my feet. Right. And it's not a big apartment.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. No. No, we don't pay for a big apartment. She doesn't deserve a big apartment. Right. Exactly.

She does, you know, I mean, what is she? Queen Elizabeth? No. What does she say? Do you say like, hey, mom, this happened. Do you, you know, are you aware of any, you know, like prankster ghosts that hide things from you? Yeah.

I mean, well, yeah, when I went back to bring her the wallet, I said, is there, any reason it could have been in that part of the room? And she said, no, I've never kept it there. So I told her the story. And honestly, she was a little bit medicated at the time, so I'm not sure she really got it all. But yeah, I haven't discussed the possibility of ghosts, but I could bring it up and see if, uh, do what she think. And ask her neighbors. I would have head, I had it back there with like, you know, my whole Ghostbusters gear. Ghostbusters kid. Yeah, yeah. I'm coming with my app. I got my app for you. I'm going to back up right into the woods.

I was tempted to go to the management office at the retirement place and say, is there any chance you can give me a list of people who have died in this apartment? Oh, that's like a CBS receipt. I don't think they'll go. They should have that. They should keep a list. Yeah, yeah. Just so I know who I'm dealing with.

Cool ghost, evil ghost. Yeah. Seems like a cool ghost. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, a little bit of a trickster because I think they were. withholding the wallet from you, which is interesting, where was the wallet while it was in possession of the ghost?

Hmm. And what was the ghost doing with it? We'll never know. Making fraudulent charges. Yeah, yeah. Right. All QVC. Yeah, buying tons of sheets so they can put them over their head.

Scooby-Doo's top. Yep, some nice prints. All right, Joe, well, thank you for the call. Thanks for the wild card. Great. Thank you so much. Good to talk to you. All right. Hi, Joe.

All right, we got time for one more. We're going to pick up on Nicole from New Jersey. Nicole, you got a caught red-handed story for us. Oh, my God. Andy, first of all, I love you. I'm like so geeked out right now. You're like my Taylor Swift and like my whole path. Oh, my gosh.

Thank you. Even though I know we're both happily married. But I can go to the woods. Yes, of course. You know what? Great point. We can absolutely go to the woods anytime. All right.

I got bad knees. though, we got to figure something out. If there's a picnic table, maybe. I am. I saw every episode of you on Dancing with the Stars. My friends got me tickets to go see you, and they had to sit me down and let me know that you weren't going to be at that show.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Somebody passed away. I know. I was so email about it. I'm sorry. Okay, but I'll get into it because I know you guys are wrapping up. But so I was a stay-at-home wife for a little bit.

I lost my job of five years because my boss was like yucky to me, but whatever. So I was a little bit out of the interview game. So I went on a job interview and the, you know, intervie who's now my boss asked me where I lived. So I had a flashback to sitting in on other interviews at my last job. And, you know, my ex-boss would be like, yeah, they're good, but they live far.

So the voice inside my head told me the lie. So I told, you know, my potential new boss, who's now my boss, that I live five minutes away, even though I live 45 minutes away. way. So I go into work. You know, I get the job and I'm excited. My first day of work, I'm late. And I was like, I'm so sorry. There was so much traffic on the parkway. And he was like, you take the parkway to work. Don't you live five minutes away? And I was like, oh, right, right, right, right, right. I actually, you know, I stayed at a friend last night. I got caught in this awful lie. And then he was like, where do you live? And he was like, I actually lived down the

straight from you. And then I had to hand in my payroll information. And he was like, why does your address say that you live 45 minutes away? So I had to come clean and, you know, tell him this little white lie that I made up that was so stupid. I was like, I thought you wouldn't hire me. So yeah, moral of the story is just don't lie. Yeah, yeah. In conclusion, that was really stinky. But it's embarrassing. Did the boss say like, I wouldn't have cared? Like it was, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He was like, That was the most ridiculous lie ever. So now I'm like, I feel like, you know, I've only even worked in there like a month now. So now I'm like, I have to preface everything with like I'm not lying.

Like this is basketball now. I mean, what kind of job are you doing that the interviewers ask you where you live? Do they want you to be like a firefighter? I don't understand why you need to live so close. Dude, I do marketing. I don't even know why I'm in the office. Honestly, I can do marketing from anywhere. But I don't know.

I just wanted to be hired. You know, I like to go. shopping. Nicole, as you should. And Nicole, you shouldn't feel bad for lying because it's very important to lie in job interviews. That's what they want. Whenever you say your greatest weakness, they don't want you to say, like, I steal office supplies and I'm really bad with Excel. Like, they want you, my weakness is that I work so hard and I dedicate my whole life to work. Like, if they'd ask me where I lived, I would have done the same thing as you. I would have took it a step further, Nicole, I'd have been like, oh, I live here. Yeah, yeah. You didn't have. I actually live in the office.

Yeah, yeah. I'll live here if you hire me. Yeah. No, quite literally. So yeah, it stinks, but here we are. We're just living with the lie. Yeah. I, you know what? It's okay. It's okay. He feels a little superior to me, to you. Now he's got something over you. And I don't know why. That's a good thing. What's wrong with me? You know, anything can be a good thing as long as you're saying. I don't even care. Well, thank you, Nicole. Oh, boy, I like you. Thank you. All right. Well, thanks for the call. Let's be friends, you guys. All right. All right.

Have a great day. All right. Well, thank you so much. Lacey for being here. Now it's time to pick our favorite. I got to say the wedding hookup. It had so much of everything. It's Shane. He won hands down. Good job, Shane. That was fantastic. I feel like I was at the wedding now. We got to hang out with Shane. Except for like we didn't go to the woods. Right. No, we did not go to the woods.

Have any tussing. Right. And then to have mud all over your clothes. Ah, it's, it's either disgusting or hot. I can't decide, bitch. I know. Yeah, yeah. We need to know what Shane looks like to know if it's disgusting or hot.

And the bride. Let's be fair. Yeah, let's be fair. All right. Well, congratulations, Shane. You've won nothing. And by the way, folks, if you didn't get on the air today, we hope you'll try us again next Wednesday at 1 p.m. Pacific, 4 p.m. Eastern.

Beth Stelling will be here. And we're talking sports with an exclamation point. Whatever you want. Injuries, you know. Gambling. Yeah, gambling, gambling problems. We want to know about sports. We're all big jocks here, so let's hear it.

And, of course, we always take the off-topic wild cards if you want to tell us your caught red-handed story next week. Lacey. Andy. People got to check out scam guys. us. Anything else you want them to check out? Yes. Give us my book. Oh, and her book? Yes. It's audiobook or wherever you buy books.

You can get that book if you want to hear about all the times that I've not got caught right-handed, but maybe you should have. Yes. All right. Thank you so much for being here. And good luck with all the stuff coming up. Thank you so much for having me, Andy. It's always a pleasure to be with you. Always a pleasure. And next time I'll let you have the spot. Awesome. Okay. I'll see you in the woods.

Yeah, see you in the woods. Bye, everybody. Talk to you next week.