The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Langston Kerman

Episode Date: November 5, 2024

Comedian Langston Kerman joins Andy Richter to discuss his role on the FX sitcom “English Teacher,” how his family informs his comedy, his experience studying poetry, and his Netflix stand-up special, directed by John Mulaney.Do you want to talk to Andy live on SiriusXM’s Conan O’Brien Radio? Leave a voicemail at 855-266-2604 or fill out our Google Form at BIT.LY/CALLANDYRICHTER. Listen to "The Andy Richter Call-In Show" every Wednesday at 1pm Pacific on SiriusXM's Conan O'Brien Channel. And listen to Langston's appearance on the Call-In Show!

Hello everybody, this is Andy Richter. Welcome back to The Three Questions. This week I am talking to Langston Kerman and he is a hilarious stand-up comedian. His latest special Bad Poetry, which is directed by John Mulaney, is on Netflix and if you haven't seen it, go see it. It's really great. He's also the co-host of the My Mama Told Me podcast, and he can currently be seen in the FX comedy series, English Teacher. Here's my conversation with the very funny Langston Kerman. Hello everybody, Andy Richter here. I'm here with a very funny comedian, Langston Kerman. I don't want him to talk. I'm going to just talk about him.

But I just, I got to tell you, I saw your special Bad Poetry, which is on Netflix. And it is fucking hilarious. Oh, that's awesome. And I'm like not, I'm not a big comedy consumer. Really? I really am not. I'll say this, and I don't mean this in any negative way, you seem like a tough laugh.

Like a little bit, yeah. Like you gotta really earn it with you. Kinda, I mean, I did. Certainly on the Conan show, there's evidence of my laughter as lubricant. Like there's video evidence of me laughing a little too hard at things I might not wanna laugh. Just as, you know.

Make this easier for everybody. Yeah, like in this sort of, you know, on Bluey, there's, you know, the balloon game, you know, and they call it Keepy Uppy, and it's sort of the laughter version of Keepy Uppy. Yeah, I imagine with a co-host job, there's a fair amount of that responsibility. Yes.

It's like, okay, I can't leave my boy out to dry. Yes. As this person tells a story that didn't land exactly as well as they were hoping it would. Yeah, but although I did feel like I did feel over the years, like there were some people that I think I didn't laugh enough for them. Like, is over repeated.

And I mean, and these are like, you know, comedy stalwarts, you know, that over the years that like, you know, I'd laugh, but I think that there were sometimes I would get looks and there's like a couple of them where I'd get looks and I'd be like, oh, well now if I really like chuckle, it's gonna look kind of evident, you know, but it's like. You've already flagged that you noticed that I didn't. Yeah, okay. And when I came out here from doing the Conan show

for whatever it was, seven, eight years, and then came out here to do sitcoms, people would tell me, these writers would tell me, after a while, they're like, you're a really tough laugh. And I'm like, not really. I mean, because, like it's just- Stop writing shit. It's gotta be good.

Well, no, it's not even that because there's plenty of times where you're, you know, there's so many times when you're writing a script where there's a problem to be solved. Like we have a joke here, a joke here, and now we need something for him to say right as he goes out the door. And oftentimes, the thing that you'll end on is something that you go, oh yeah, that's good.

Yeah. Like that'll work. You know? It's a great out, not necessarily the best joke in the script. Right. It does the trick though. Yeah.

And let's move on. I find that especially having been in so many writers' rooms and sort of engaged in that part of the process, it is harder for me to laugh at that stuff because of that reason. Because I'm sitting there sort of like too cued in in that part of the process, it is harder for me to laugh at that stuff because of that reason. Because I'm sitting there sort of like too cued in to like, oh, this is what that's missing right here

instead of just enjoying the joke that's being presented. It's like, well, it's not personal to the writing. This is great writing, but I can't unsee all the other things. Yeah, and also there's something precious about laughter. And they make it cheap and shitty out here. They make it where it's like, right as I was leaving the Conan show,

I did a guest spot on Just Shoot Me, and I hadn't done a lot of multi-camera sitcoms. And we were doing a run through, like a writer's run through. And we rehearsed in the morning, then we had lunch, and then Brian Poseyne and I were sitting behind the flats, in like, in the dark, reading a paper, because I don't even think it was really cell phone,

well, it was cell phone times, but he was reading a paper. I think I was just kind of like dozing, and we're sitting there and we hear them start. Like they're in the scene on the other side of the flat that we're sitting behind. And it was, I think David Spade and George Siegel. And you hear, you know, they're like, okay, and you hear all the people come in,

all the writers and everybody, and they come in and they settle in, and then you hear them start. Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. And the laugh that came from that joke that everyone had read 50 times while they're writing had already seen four times on its feet. The laugh that came from that jolted me out of my seat.

Just like, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! And I just was like, you fucking phonies. There's no way. What are you doing? It's not possible. You're ruining it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Then what the fuck are they doing, you know? Yeah, I mean, there's a point in which, as a receiver of those laughs, it also starts to feel fraudulent. Unless you're a maniac. Yeah, I mean, Eddie Murphy famously talks about how, like, he quit stand-up at 27, in part because he was doing too well.

Yeah, yeah. That, like, the audiences were laughing at setups. Yes. And everything he said in such a way that he was doing too well. That like the audiences were laughing at setups and everything he said in such a way that he was like, well, I can't, I can't even gauge if things are funny anymore. I'm just gonna walk away from this thing. And that seems like the healthiest interpretation you can have. Instead of like just being like, no, yeah, I am God. I am probably gonna be the funniest man forever and always

and nothing will break that. It's like, that's crazy. I also heard a really funny story, a very dishy story that just reminds me of it, that somebody worked on a show that Bruce Valanche came in one day a week. And at Video Village, as they were on shooting night, Bruce's agent would sit right next to the network people. And every time something got a laugh, he would turn to them and go, that's one of Bruce's.

ALL LAUGH Every single laugh. And the fucking guy hadn't been there, like he showed up half an hour before. That's one of Bruce's. I can tell that's a Bruce. Yeah, yeah. That's one of Bruce's. ALL LAUGH When you started out here doing,

I mean, where was the first writing room that you kind of get into? And was it writing rooms first before it was acting? No, my first thing ever was while I was still living in Boston. I lived in Boston for three years. Why? I went there for grad school.

I know, I don't like it either. They're not good to black people there. Buddy, they're not good to anybody there. Oh, well then okay. Well, you gotta respect that. They're especially mean to black people, but they're like, hey, we're also mean to these people. That makes you feel any different.

Okay, all right, yeah. We'll snatch any chain that we see. I went there for grad school and stuck around for another two years to teach high school. Oh, wow. But I ended up... Did you teach high school in Boston? Yeah, I taught high school English in Hyde Park,

which is like the west side of Boston, basically. And what does that, I don't really know Boston that well. I was teaching at a school that specialized in teaching Mandarin studies to Haitian kids, basically. It was a bunch of Caribbean kids in Boston that were all at this charter school that specialized in teaching the Mandarin, and not just Mandarin, but also like Mandarin culture. So like they were like, we would do this thing called a call to order, which was very sort of like Chinese rooted where like all students stand as teachers walk into the classroom and sort of have to give us these formal addressings. Now I immediately

ditched a lot of it because it felt insane, but it very much was a part of sort of the school foundation. It's such a strange, particular, like, dollop on a dollop, you know, like, well, let's get the Caribbean kids in here. Okay, sounds good. Yeah, we can focus on them. Let's teach them Chinese shit. All right. All right. Show me my salary. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where do my tax dollars go? Right there. Oh, so anyway, but the first thing out of the... I ended up doing through like a local casting agency was casted in Larry David's Clear History, that HBO film. Oh, wow. And everybody remembers. I don't remember it. We all love, that HBO film. Oh, wow.

And everybody remembers. We all love. Of course. No, I don't remember. It was Larry David and Jon Hamm. Basically, Larry David is a part of what it becomes like Tesla, but he ends up selling his shares because he's like, this company sucks.

It's stupid. And it turns out it becomes like the biggest thing in the world. And so I had a very small role. What year was that? This was 2012? 2013? I don't have any recollection of that movie whatsoever.

He doesn't talk about it a lot. And it was for cable? It was HBO? Yeah, it was an HBO film that he did. Wow. And is it good? Did you like it or? No.

I wouldn't say that. Good. I think certainly not when you look at what Curb is and like the imprint that this dude has. It's not getting ranked at the top of anything that he's ever done. It's not bad, cause it's Larry David. But no, it's not a good film, I wouldn't say. And my responsibility, and it was so small,

it's negligible, you know what I mean? But that was enough to give me a taste. And did you feel like when you got on set, like... Because I remember my first... I was in a million student films and did live shows and stuff, but my first like film set job, I felt like I don't have any idea how to do this. Yeah.

You know, like, did you have that same experience? Yeah, it's pretty terrifying. I got fortunate that Larry was in town casting it himself. And so for the audition, I had to do like two minutes of improv with him, basically sort of like a version of that scene. And we acted it way further than the actual script would have required. Right. And I think that gave me enough confidence to feel like once I was on

set, Oh, I'm not going to completely fuck this up. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, oh, I'm not gonna completely fuck this up. You know what I mean? I think had I not been in person with this dude before that, it would have felt like truly insane. I was teaching high school. I took a day off from teaching, basically told them I was sick so that I could go act on this movie. And so like in some, like it,

nothing in my life had set me up for that to be a winnable experience other than having gone through a moment of. That is an unusual thing though, to get that much care and that much attention in the audition. Yes. You know, cause usually it's come in,

you read the lines and they go, yeah, yeah, come on back. And then you just show up and there's nobody there that you've made any kind of connection with or anything. Exactly. I think often it's the casting director and their assistant that you're like working with. That person is not even present when you show back up on set to remind you like,

hey, you did this so great. All you have to do is this kind of, it's just truly, they put you in a dressing room and they go, we'll tap on the door when we're ready and then you show up and everybody's scary. Right, right. And you might, the number one on the call sheet might acknowledge you as a human being.

Yeah, maybe. Just might. Maybe. If you're lucky. Yeah, yeah. Otherwise, you know, just like, just no, they won't. Yeah, no, it's, you end up, I think, in those positions being insanely grateful if they just like go like, oh, hey, nice to meet you. Yes.

Shake your hand, whatever it is. Absolutely, absolutely. It's the smallest thing in the world, and it's like, oh, okay, well, now I like you for the rest of my life. You are my dad, now I like you for the rest of my life. You are my dad. I will defend you for the rest of my life because you looked me in the eye and acknowledged

my humanity rather than just being like, what, who, when? There are probably some people who are like, well, Bill Cosby was nice to me. I found him to be pretty pleasant. I did not have any beverages. So maybe that had something to do with it. But.

Can't you tell my love's a- Well, so, and were you doing standup at that point? I was. So I started standup in Chicago. About. In undergrad or? no, right after undergrad. I graduated in 2009. The housing market said crash. There were no jobs to. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I thank you, George Bush. Thank you, George Bush. And I say it every morning. But, but I sort of, you know, have I went to school, I followed the rules. I got the good grades,

and then ended up in my mom's basement, despite all of that, and so stand-up kind of became like, all right, well, if I did all that shit and none of it worked, then I'm gonna try something completely opposite of that. And so I went to an open mic at a place called Doc Ryan's in Forest Park and bombed for five minutes. And bombed in that exact correct way that a sicko like myself and you probably can go like,

oh, I want to bomb like that. I want to do more of that. You know, it didn't work the first time. So every week I would just go back. And then I- But also you know you can do better. You think, yeah. You think you can do better.

And I think that's the sickness though. Do you know what I mean? Where it's like, yes, part of why we all stay inside of this job for as long as we do is because we've convinced ourselves that we can do better. And that better is subjective. It's not actually like a hundred percent certain for every person.

Well, I mean, well, here's the thing too. You're here because you did do better. Yes. You know, and there, you probably at that same night, there were people who had the same, if you want to call it a delusion, but they're not here. That's true. Because they were wrong, but you want to call it a delusion, but they're not here. That's true.

Because they were wrong, but you were right. And there is, and it is subjective, but there is, we do all vote on it. It is a democracy in terms of like, you do stuff in front of people and you get the votes. You say like, hey, that was good. And you have to be in possession of some sense of self and a decent amount of character to like be honest

with yourself, to really sort of like, you know, weigh what's real and what's not real and then move forward in it. But I think definitely, yeah, there's, I mean, because I know, and it was, well, for me, it was improv. So, because I did not have the nerve to go on stage by myself. Okay.

Nor is it of a particular interest to me. It never even was attractive to you. Not really. I got you. Not really. I mean you. Not really. I mean, and in Chicago, because I started in Chicago too, and there was a division between,

and I had some friends that did both, stand-up and improv, although most of their stand-up was very like weird conceptual shit. The few guys that would do stand-up. You're doing character work, but managing your own setups. But at the funny firm or whatever, you know.

Yeah. And in, but there was a difference, like there was a palpable difference because we would go to this, this is a stand-up party. And we'd go to a party of stand-up comedians, and it just was not as fun. No. It was not as, it was like a bunch of sourpusses standing around like... And I mean, just like, you feel like, are you judging me or are you deeply,

deeply insecure and terrified? Hey, both. Yes, exactly. It's, it's, yeah, I, so I had actually begun stand-up after being a part of like the performance poetry community. Oh, okay. Yeah, so I had actually begun stand-up after being a part of the performance poetry community. Oh, okay. So that's how I got into being on stage,

was doing sort of spoken word poetry. Yeah. And that community is so warm and strong and everybody is celebrated, even when we don't think what you're doing is good. We are proud of you for making the effort to do anything in the first place. It is love projected onto everybody.

Absolutely. And then stand up. And you're bearing your soul too. Yeah. Like when you're doing stand up, you're not bearing your, you know. No. It's transactional.

Stop it. You're being weird. You're making me uncomfortable. We're not here for that. There's no two drink minimum on your soul. No, call your dad. Stop doing that in front of me. Well, what was it that made you want to do that transition? Like to go from the warm space to the cruel space? Well, I think what you don't realize

is that that space is as cruel as it is. But I think what I thought I liked was that performance poetry does require the bearing of the soul. And the bearing of the soul is often sort of, if I write a poem, I am meant to write that poem in that moment and then I'm meant to reenact that feeling every single time I perform that poem, even if

that feeling is now false or I don't have it anymore. Right. It's a shtick. It's a shtick to some extent, but it's a shtick with sadness. And that kind of started to feel icky. Yeah. Yeah. Whereas like stand up, I, if I'm feeling however I'm feeling, I can perform it

that way and there's less of sort of like this ask on the other end to like falsify my feelings. Yeah. And so I was very attracted to that and then immediately saddened by the results of like hanging out with a bunch of grumpy dweebs who, who truly were, like you said, miserable. Yeah. Just wasn't as good of a feeling. Yeah. There's certainly, over time, there was opportunities

for me to sort of dabble and stand up at different festivals and things. And I tried it, and then I just had this moment of just like, no. It's just not for you. I like being on stage. I like talking to funny people. I like exchanging with funny people.

Making the audience laugh is secondary. Whoa. You know, is really truly secondary. And I, you know, and it's just over time, it's become a thing where I'm pursuing my own good time. You know, and that was like always my philosophy on the Conan show. It was like, if we're all have, people are at home

and they're eavesdropping on funny, interesting people that have stories to tell and they're eavesdropping. And so you got to like, you got to, I always wanted to, I always tried to pursue my own fun within that hour and felt like, well, then that'll, you know, this is all a vicarious vibe that people are getting. So it's like, if I'm having fun, they're having fun. If I'm faking it, they're gonna, at some point,

be able to tell. And it does seem like, especially with late night television, that's so much of a, it's more essential that you sort of like remind yourself that like, this is about a vibe more than it is about a responsibility to a laugh every 20 seconds in a room. I did Everybody's in LA or wrote on that with John Mulaney. Yeah, yeah. Like, one of the things that we realized was, like, we can't count on this audience to be the measure of how well this show is doing. These conversations are interesting,

and they're sort of, like, odd, but they're not always going to be super punchy. And if we sit there and go, well, the audience ain't laughing at every punchline we think is funny, then we're gonna be real sad at the end of this six-night run of live shows. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, absolutely.

And that was always a difficult thing, but one thing that I kinda would try to spread around at the Conan Show was like, these people, they might have been trying to get into Young Sheldon or something, I mean, it wasn't Young Sheldon, but not the one, Big Bang. Big Bang, yeah, Big Bang Theory. Like they might have got turned away from Big Bang Theory and they're like, well, we got this other thing, you know, and you never know, you know.

Growing up, you have an African American mom and a Jewish father. And I say Jewish because it's very important to me to note that people are Jewish. It's your passion. You've always said that. But no, it's right there in your bio. But was there any pressure on you to be Jewish? No, my dad is Jewish in largely a technical sense. He is not a practicing Jew. He doesn't believe in any God.

He reminds me of that often. He just wakes you up at night with a phone call. You know I don't believe in God, right? It's all pointless. When it's black, it's black. That's it. I love you. Yeah, you're presumptive. You know, I don't believe in God, right? It's all pointless. When it's black, it's black. That's it. I love you. You're presumptive.

No, he's a lovely guy. Implied. Yeah. So there was, I truly learned very little about like the, the Jewish religion. Yeah. Because he, he just didn't practice anything. And so my dad is a, he's a Marxist. He's sort of his very anti-establishment

in a lot of ways. But one of the things he always tried to hammer home was like, look, America, you are black. Like whatever like history we can unpack together as a family is a different conversation. But when you go out in the world, they will treat you as a black person. And so you gotta, you gotta be aware of that

and be comfortable in what that experience is. And that was from an early age. Very early age. He was hammering that. My mom similarly was hammering that. And so I think it just, the bio certainly says a thing, but the experience was like, nah, you know, great. There wasn't a lot of code switching.

It was just, yeah, yeah. I have a, you know, I had a household that at least supported like, yo, identify yourself within this community and enjoy your nice vacations with your white family. For time to time. Wait, did you grow up in a black neighborhood in Chicago? No, I grew up in Oak Park.

Oh, wow. Which for those that don't know is- It's a Frank Lloyd Wright enclave. Yeah, it's a West suburb right outside of Chicago and it's gorgeous. It's a really nice place to grow up. And so I fortunately grew up, it's one of the few places I would argue that's truly diverse in Chicago and not sort of like struggling to create diversity at all times.

And so I got very lucky that I grew up in a place where everybody kind of mingled together and I got to just get community in a very natural way that reflected the house that I lived in. Yeah, that is nice. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think it would have been a nightmare if I had to explain myself in some much more homogenous space.

Oh yeah, absolutely. Yeah, no, because I mean, it is, and Chicago is so, it changes like every 20 blocks. You know, it really is a different sort of town and in so many ways and such a deeply segregated place. It's to me, I know Boston is more synonymous with racism, but Chicago to me is the most segregated city that I've ever lived in. I don't know that it says outwardly racist

as like a Boston or some of the other places that I've been, but certainly as far as like to your point, this is a Mexican neighborhood. You will not see anybody that does not look like the people that live here. That is a very Chicago thing, I think, that I haven't experienced elsewhere. Yeah. And the neighborhood where the Dailies live, that Irish on the south side, what? I can't, Bridgeport? Is that what it's called?

I think so. Yeah. I mean, I used to hear stories from friends of mine, like, because, you know, and I mean, I don't know exactly, but supposedly the expressway is like, was built in a way that was like sort of protected. Black people on one side, white people on the other side. Yeah, yeah. And then if black kids happen to ride their bike over the expressway at the wrong point,

they could expect to be, you know, beaten up and, you know, rocks thrown at them. And like, no, that's nice. That's the mayor's neighborhood. How nice. That's the one that a family of people that's gonna run this city is gonna call home. Yeah, yeah.

And pass it on down to each other. Yeah. You know, I think, and I also too, I think Oak Park, like that sort of integrated sort of happy mixing, I think is a fairly modern thing too. Cause I know one of my college teachers grew up there, Jewish and was routinely shaken down by Irish cops. You know, just like, you know, what's your name?

What's your dad do? Give me 10 bucks. Like Chicago cops. They're another, that's another nice feature of Chicago. Yeah. Chicago cops. Well, it offers a lot of great things. Oh, I love Chicago.

I love Chicago. Especially corruption, I think, is what we do best. All of our- It's in Illinois just generally. I don't know what it is. It doesn't feel like, you know, Huey Long's Louisiana, but it sure is corrupt there. Just like over and over.

What is it, like half the governors have been to jail in the past 20 years? Absolutely, it's unbelievable. It's just like, you know, I don't know. It's very strange because you don't, it doesn't, like I say, it doesn't feel like that really. I mean. No, it does a good job of at least presenting

a sort of like, this is a safe space for anybody to enjoy, even though secretly a lot of sinister things are happening underneath of it all. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. happening underneath of it all. Yeah, yeah. You mentioned in the latest special and elsewhere that your mom's been married four times.

That's right. What number was your dad? My dad was number one. Number one. Number one on the call sheet. He got in there early. Yeah, he got in there early. And how long did it last?

They were married, I wanna say like four or five years. Uh, uh, and how long did it last? Uh, they were married, I want to say like four or five years. Oh, okay. Cause they got divorced when I was like four and a half and I think they had just gotten married when I was a newborn or at least right before I came. And are there, are you the only kid they had or? I'm the only one from those two. And then, uh, I have two younger sisters who are, uh, my mom's second marriage, the product of my mom's second marriage. They're both 10 and 11 years younger than I am.

And then I have a brother the product of my mom's boyfriend in between her second and third marriage. Wow. So common. And those people love getting married. They love getting married. On both sides. They love love.

Split my money in half is what they scream every time. There's such a hilarious bit in the special about your mom's, is it her fourth husband, Benny the Bull? No, that's third husband. That's third husband, yeah. That she married a disgraced NBA mascot. I won't ruin, I'll just tease it for the people. You know, you get to hear the-

A little taste. Yeah, yeah. Well, how was life with Benny? Was it, I mean, what do you do when, like, my mother had the good taste to divorce my father, remarry, get divorced again, and then just close up shop. Oh, she didn't keep going. Yeah, she didn't keep going.

So, I mean, you know, I never had to deal with this fucking guy, you know? So, I don't know what, what it would be like if like one of my parents married a disgraced Betty the Bull. What's even worse is she married him so far after he had been disgraced. This wasn't like she married him with all the potential in the world. And then he let her down. She knew that he had failed miserably

and she still was like, no, this is my guy. And what was he doing for a living at that point? Working on cars and he would teach tumbling classes. So the Jesse White Tumblers. Oh yeah, sure. You remember the Jesse White Tumblers. Absolutely. That's how he sort of got recruited into the Benny the Bull job. I see. He was a Jesse White Tumblers. Absolutely, absolutely. That's how he sort of got recruited

into the Benny the Bull job. I see. He was a Jesse White Tumbler as a kid. He became very close with Jesse White. Jesse White then sort of eyes this opening in the Bulls organization, throws him in as like, this is our best and brightest. Yeah.

And then he ends up losing the job because he gets caught selling weed after a game. In the costume. In the parking lot, in the costume. That's so great. It's like, it does make one think, like, did he have weed on him in his costume the whole time? I hope so.

Just, well, you never know. You know, it's like, I got this sidekick going on. Well, that's where I keep my inhaler here and I keep my weed here. And then here's some Kleenex, you know. Now to his credit, I will say that I think he became a little bit of a fall guy for, because he was selling to a player.

And so I think it became like a little bit of a nasty thing where they go, look, we ain't, what do we got? What are we cutting loose? We're going to get rid of Tony Kukoc? Yeah. Yeah. No way we're getting rid of you. And so I think under different circumstances, they might have

been able to look the other way, but it became too much of a hot, salacious thing. And also, he wasn't selling it, like, in the parking lot, you know, like, out of the back of his car. No, no, no, this wasn't... Get your Benny the Bull brand weed here. He wasn't just, like, poaching the customers. He kind of was hooking a dude up, and then it became, hey, man, you gotta get the fuck out of here.

Oh, that sucks. Yeah, it's unfortunate. But doesn't make for good comedy, so I... Right, of course not. I don't tell that part. Yeah, don't, yeah. Forget that part. Can't you tell my love's a girl?

But how long was she married to him? Uh, like six, seven years. Oh, wow. They made it a long time. Yeah. And I think had every reason to split, but it wasn't, it wasn't a, he was a good person. Yeah. Just with a lot of demons. Yeah.

That probably is natural when you've, you've burned so many bridges and counted on a life that you no longer can access. You know what I mean? Have you ever talked to your parents, either one of them, about what their feeling about being married numerous times is? Or is it just to them, it's just like, well, that just happened. I mean- Yeah, my mom has always taken the position that she loves love.

Yeah. And that, like, she falls hard, and she is not at all embarrassed. And I wouldn't want her to be. I don't tell. I hope I never tell the joke with, like, sort of a malice in it, where I'm like, you stupid fucking lady, what are you doing? As much as just being like, these are the facts.

Yeah. These are, this is the situation that, that has been handed to me. And, uh, you know, I think she just very much sees it as like, Hey, I believe in the love that I believe in and I like taking the full swing at it. Yeah. I don't ever want it to feel like I'm partnering up with somebody and they feel like they're getting a worse version of what I can offer. So if marriage is what they want,

then let's make this whole. Let's totally go all the way in for that. And I can't blame her for that. Yeah, no, I mean, honestly, I can't either. I mean, I got divorced and got remarried and, you know, and I mean, my wife and I, we were, I mean, we were seeing each other for less than a year, but when we decided to get married and I know there were people, I mean, you can tell,

like when you tell some people like, yeah, we got engaged and like, huh, that's great. How long have you guys been grown up? You know, but I mean, A, like we're grownups. You know, my wife is only, she's nine years younger than me. I'm very old, so we're grownups. So it is kind of like, no, we know, you know, like we're not like- You don't need to test the waters the same way

that you did when you were 22. Right, but there still is like, well, do we really need to test the waters the same way that you did when you were 22. Right, but there still is like, well, do we really need to do this? And for me, it was like, yeah, I do need to do this. Oh, so for you, it was much more like, I want to be married again. Yes, yes, absolutely. I like being married and I believe in it.

I think, again, it's something, it's an institution because something about the kind of ape we are likes to do this thing, you know? I mean, we set this whole thing up and so there must be something to it. And I do kind of, I believe in it. I mean, yeah, it's like, oh, a piece of paper. It's like, yeah, but it's not just a piece of paper.

It is your stand. You know, you pick a day where you stand in front of everybody and go, her for me, him for me. And then you go, there we go. You know, like, just so you all know, we're settled. I do think people often shortchange how much of the human experience is built on tradition. Yes.

That like we are for whatever reason, built as animals that need tradition and need sort of like this routine of sorts that maybe we created ourselves, but certainly. It's there for a reason. We want it. Yeah. And we desire it, and history will tell you

we will continue to want it that way, despite all the logical steps that people might be able to put in between it that would suggest it's silly. And so, like, yeah, no, I get it. It's like, mm, I wanna be a part of the tradition. I don't wanna be one of those old guys sitting in a chair still calling a lady my girlfriend. It feels, that feels odd.

So yeah, I'll get married even if I gotta do it a couple of times. Yeah. And as my mother told me when I was talking to her, you know, about getting engaged again and, you know, and getting married and thinking like, yeah, you know, and you know, and not necessarily having doubts,

but just being like, yeah, it was kind, yeah, you know, and not necessarily having doubts, but just being like, yeah, it was kind of fast, I guess, and stuff. And my mom just was like, well, you can always get divorced. You're right, mom. You're right. You are right. Thank you, mom. Yeah, sure, why not?

You can always, and it is true, you know, like, I mean, my older daughter just went off to college and, you know, she had her panic at the first, just, you know, the panic that you get when you're like, third night in the dorm alone and it's like, oh, fuck, this is real. Yeah. I mean, you know, I just, I keep telling her, you can change your mind. All of it can, all of it, you can change any of it. It doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter. I think that's such the, um, the disservice that,

that all of our histories have kind of done to us is that we should be, we should be encouraged to change our mind way more often. Yeah. That like we keep being told of all these dangers and risks and, and all the awful things that'll happen if you choose not to go this and this path. It's like, no, man, just say fuck it and walk away from these things.

Because all of it's burning. Who cares? Oh, absolutely. And also too, the thing about that there's some sort of merit in muscling through something that's kind of not good. Yeah. Or just like, or even just like not to your taste.

A hundred percent. Like, you know, like quitters, don't be a quitter. It's like, fuck that. Look, if the coach is an asshole, I quit. Yeah, I quit. And I'll just go get a job at the grocery store. Yeah. Which is, that's in my biography. The coach was an asshole, I quit, and I went and got a job at the grocery store. Yeah. Which is, that's in my biography. The coach was an asshole.

I quit and I went and got a job at the grocery store. Absolutely. Football, basketball? What were you doing? Football. Football, yeah. And he was just not a cool dude. It was just, it was between sophomore and junior year.

And it was like towards the end of my sophomore year. And we got this new coach and he gave us this big speech about how we were going to do, you know, you couldn't practice because of the, you know, there's rules. Like you can only start practicing football at like, and it's like, there's a day in August, I think. And he's like, so we can't practice, but we can do conditioning and weightlifting. And he said, and so we'll have sessions five nights a week and they're voluntary, but I think you all know what voluntary means.

And the guys all go, yeah, voluntary. And I'm just like, you fucking idiot, he just stole your summer. Like he just stole your fucking summer and you're laughing. And I just went home and I told my mom and my stepdad and God bless them, they're like, well, you're gonna quit, aren't you? And I was like, yes, I am.

And I got a job in the produce section. What's so funny is I did the conditioning and weightlifting because I wanted to play basketball. I was on the basketball team through my junior year. And I thought like, oh, if I do football conditioning, that'll give me a better shape for basketball when everything comes back around. But I didn't tell the football coaches that was my plan.

I just like showed up, pretended like I wanted to be a cornerback. And when it came time to play football, you're like, bye. The day pads went out, I didn't show up and they called my home. I'll never forget it. They like the coaches called and were like, Kermin, where were you today? We've been looking all over for you. I was like, oh man, I'm not, I'm not going to do it. I didn't, I had no plans to be a part of this.

And the way that that adult man cursed me out on the phone. Wow. Like cursed at me as if he was not a teacher at the school, as if we would never see each other again, he, he was like, fuck you. You've wasted our time. You're a piece of shit. Like called me all the things. And then I just had to like, uh, hope that I wasn't going to be in his history class September. You know what I mean?

It was insane. Yeah. The, the level of importance that they put on it, you know, it's so crazy. I wasn't going to be a good player, man. What are you yelling at me? Yeah. Look how I'm built. I don't have a future in this sport.

I guess it is sort of flattering if they didn't care, they wouldn't have care. You know what I mean? No, it was nice that he cared so much that he comes to you. To call you a motherfucker and an asshole. That's hilarious. Was it a funny household growing up? I mean... Yeah. My mom remains, I think, the funniest member of our family. She just is objectively Like, she just is objectively, like, funnier than everybody. And in a shitty way, she will take credit for everything

that I do that is funny going forward. Like, she will forever be like, you know you're only saying that because I told you to be funny. I am the gift. Oh, that's so, oh, yeah, yeah. It is about you, Mom. Yeah, it's always going to be about her. Yeah, yeah, good job, Mom.

Yeah. But if you have a mother be about me. It's really, yeah, yeah, good job, Mom. Yeah. If you have a mother that's good at centering herself, which like, my mom is like a fucking pro. Like there's like things that happen and you're like, oh my God, that thing. And then you realize, oh my God, she did it again. Yeah. She made like the fucking wedding about her.

You know, it's just incredible. There's never a story that I can tell that doesn't somehow find its way back to a journey that my mother is on. And I think that is her magic. And part of how she becomes the funny person that she is, it's like she's got a story for everything and her story is going to top

whatever you are going through. Even if you need her to not tell a story right now. Does that, but, because there is, there definitely can be like a competitive, competitiveness among comedians. Does that make you, like, handle that easier, or does it make you more, you know, like, wanting to, like, top people? Because I can see having somebody like that where, like...

Because my... From improv, whenever there were people that really needed it, I, from the get-go, was like, -"Go get it, honey. I don't... I am not gonna fight for the crowd's attention with you." You know? And I think that's from being around, like, go get it, honey. I don't, I am not gonna fight for the crowd's attention with you. You know, and I think that's from being around like a lot, growing up with a lot of adults who needed a lot of attention.

And I'm like, all right, go ahead. You get it. Yeah. I think what it taught me, and I've never actually thought all the way through this, but I think what it taught me was how to, how to find the punchline in someone else's story. So like, you can tell your story,

but I can still be riffing in it to find my game. That accepting that like, all right, you're gonna be funnier in the star sense, right? Like, you will take over this scene, but I'm not gonna not get a bit off. And I think that's what I had to learn in sort of my relationship with my mom is like, I'll find my bits, but you got it.

You win. You want this more than I do. It's your show, yeah, yeah. I'm further down on the call sheet. Exactly, but I'm a fun best friend. I mean, do you have a very, you have a real close bond with your mom? I think so. I think we've, we...

My mom had me when she was 20. And so I think she would admit that, like, we kind of had more of a sibling bond for a long time. And I think that is something that is tough to balance at times where you're like, now that my mom is older, I think there's part of her that still wants to be able to like reassert as mom. And it's like, but no, we're, you know,

you know what our relationship is. We've sort of become this complicated partner situation. And I don't know how to fix that for either of us, but it is what it is. And also I'm a fucking grown up human being. I got two kids, I got, you know what I mean? I got a mortgage. There's no version of me that's like gonna tip the,

bend the knee to whatever you got going on. How old are your kids now? I have a three year old, or soon to be three year old in a three month old. Oh, that's right. You got a brand new one. Super wet. Yeah. Yeah.

How do you feel about having them so close to each other? As it's because you've had three months to experience. I think the second I start sleeping regular again, I'll love it. I think as soon as this little guy starts treating us with any level of reason, there's going to be tight. My daughter is pumped. She really likes him is very soft with him and kind and excited about having a sibling. All of the nightmare version that you sort of get told might happen did not happen. And so my only wish is that I get even six hours of straight sleep would change everything

for me. And especially my wife, she looks terrible. I'm sure it's good that you let her know. Yeah, I remind her every morning. Yeah, yeah. No, it is. It's the most important business you can do. I know there's a running bit in your standup about a stranger telling you, and you were so right about you say that strangers tell you the weirdest shit when you walk around with a baby. Yeah.

And it made me think of the classic one. My son, who's 23 now, was always big. All my kids were big, were large. But you're a tall guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big guy. Yeah, but large, you know. But you're a tall guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big guy. Yeah, but just, yeah. But also, like, like, like my kids too, like, I, it's like, they, they have a cast iron

skeleton. Like, I pick up my nieces and nephews and I'm like, this kid's a fucking bird. Like, and then I go pick up my kid and it's like, it's two bowling balls in a bag, you know. And it's like two bowling balls in a bag, you know? But my son was big and we were at an outdoor restaurant in Malibu, some outdoor fish place, and we're just eating. And some lady came up and said, how old's that baby? And we said, like, whatever it was. It was like, he's a year, he's 18 months.

And she said, she said, I knew it. My husband said that baby's three. And I said, if that baby's three, then there is something wrong with him. Okay. Thank you. I love that. Yeah, yeah.

Because you came in with such a firm plan to tell you all the thoughts that she had. That if you would have said three, she was to say there's something wrong with your baby. Yeah. She was in such a hurry. It was like, how old's that baby? Okay, yeah, good. Okay.

Well, just so you know, then, you get my seal of approval that your kid isn't damaged. It's also one of those engagements. It completely lacks affection. You're not telling me my son is handsome. You're not saying he has a lot of potential. And you can tell from across the room, you're just being like, that's a big fucking baby. And he better be younger than he looks. It's like somebody that goes through life where just everything is an amusement.

You know, it's like the world is a TV and you got a remote. You know, and it's just like, I wanna check out this channel and like, you know, I'm gonna let you know how it is and then goodbye. Yeah. That's a very, I would say a very LA thing. Yeah, although there's assholes everywhere.

Sure. But yeah, but that's- It feels cooked, I think, into the culture, not with malice, but truly just a lot of people changing the channel around each other and not even meaning to be hateful when they do it. They just are like, new station. Yeah.

They're used to, like, the world is a vending machine, and they put something in and they expect something back out. I walk into a restaurant with my dog, like the world is a vending machine and they put something in and they expect something back out. I walk into a restaurant with my dog and I would like for you to be excited to see my dog. Yeah, yeah. Even though you have a life and a day that does not even engage with this dog at all.

I want you to notice my dog is so LA. Yeah, yeah, it is. Well, in this special, you say that somebody says to you like that having a kid is, like, the greatest thing you'll ever do or something. Yeah, the best thing that's ever gonna happen to you. And I do think, I mean, isn't there some of that that you sort of feel like...

I think it's 100% true. I just think... I mean, it's a good bit. It's a good running bit. I think I more take issue with the presumption from a stranger who does not get to experience me or my potential at all. Right.

That like our worlds are so vast and complicated and day to day exciting shit happens to you, to me, to all of us, and I don't want some shithead that I've never met deciding what my best thing gets to all of us, and I don't want some shithead that I've never met deciding what my best thing gets to be. But technically, yes, my kids, 100% best thing. Yeah, and it, because it is, there's this presumptuousness, and it's a presumptuousness, like,

this fucking bag of flesh, you leave this thing alone for a day, it's dead. And you're telling me that there is like, no, no, I have other stuff going on. Yeah, yeah. I got a lot of cool shit that I do every day. You don't know me. Yeah.

Yeah. But it is, I mean, it is, I mean, do you still have sort of nervousness about it, about being a dad and you know? I do, yeah, I mean, I imagine, and you know better than I do, I don't know that that's gonna go away. Maybe it's just- It lessens.

Okay. It definitely lessens, like having two older kids and then coming back to having a little kid, it's way easier. And I see sometimes, like, on a playground, like, a 32-year-old dad with a four-year-old, and I see the look in his eyes, and I just want to be like, sweetheart, it gets better. Don't worry.

Just a thousand-yard stare of just exhaustion, and, you know, like you're going through with the sleep deprivation. Right. And it's like, it's all part of it and it's all, and it's not even so much like the baby part, you know, like I experienced the baby part. It's like, I kind of experienced the whole totality of it.

Right. And also, certainly got my comeuppance as my kids got older. Like I was, you know, I was pretty cocky about what a great dad I was and how older. Like I was, you know, I was pretty cocky about what a great dad I was and how all the choices I was making were great. And I found, no, no, I've been wrong on a number of instances, you know, and there's always, you know, there's always room for improvement, which is an incredibly like one of the most deeply hopeful things that exists in the universe is the notion that you're never

done. Yeah. You know, you're never done getting better at whatever it is that you're doing. Yeah. I think the hard part with parenting, because that is beautiful, like the idea that you can, you can change and you can become a better version of yourself is so inspiring even as a parent. But then the hard part is this constant fear that you won't recognize that need or make the necessary adjustments to meet that need, right?

That like, at the end of the day, you can know like, God damn, I was a piece of shit yesterday within the way that I handled this, but it's a much harder step to be able to go like, I for sure will make the do the work to make sure I'm not that again. Yes. Especially when your life is your life. Like you've got shit to do. You've got other stressors. You are, you are being bombarded with a lot of other problems.

Suddenly talking to your children differently doesn't become the, the exact priority that you were focused on. So that, that kind of stuff scares me, but it also is a lot of like theory more than it is like the actual experience, right? Like your day to day is just you, you talk to them. Sometimes you, you yell at them. Sometimes you don't. And you hope that they, the fun of talking and hanging out was more valuable than telling them to go to bed

or brush their teeth or whatever else it is. It is, I mean, you know, apologizing to your kids. Like to me, that was, because I mean, I don't know how you are, but like there's definitely, like the moment I had a kid, there was things that the ways that I had, in which I had a kid, there was things that, the ways that I had, in which I had been parented

that I was like, oh fuck, that was no good. That was bad. And it really truly was, I'd never thought about it. It was just like, it was like that picture that's been hanging on the wall of our home for a thousand years. And then it's like, oh my God, that thing's all fucked up.

Like that is, that is, that is a gruesome mess. That's like a painting. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, it's like, there is, there is some particular things. And one of them that I really felt was important was learning to apologize to my kids when I fucked up and I, you know, and I would fuck up occasionally, you know?

And, you know, and like you say, the day to day is just, it's one, it's just one, so much of life is just like, one, just the next problem, making the choice on the, and then the next problem and the next problem. I mean, you know, it's like, it's the same thing like making a TV show. It's, no, it's, you don't have to know everything. Just know what to do with the next thing.

Yeah. You know, just be sort of, have your feet on the ground and be ready to handle whatever the next thing is. And that's like, that's all parenting is. Yeah, I think that's true. You don't need to have some big fucking plan, you know, just like make them lunch and then, you know... Figure out dinner.

If there's a fit, if there's some fit in the middle, you figure out how to deal with that, you know? Yeah, exactly. Now, I didn't know that you could apologize to your kids until I had a kid. Yeah. And, you know, you read enough Instagram stories of people being like,

this is how I learned that I could tell my kid, I'm sorry I said that. Or treated them this way. It's like, oh, I didn't, that's not my experience. Nobody apologized to me for anything. They were just like, figure it out. Yeah, yeah, tough shit. That's what I did.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, there's that a lot of like, it was, that's the other thing. One thing it's like, well, that's how I was done and I turned out all right. It's usually like, no, you didn't. No, you didn't. No, you didn't, you're a fucking mess.

Yeah. Baby, you're not yelling it. Yeah, yeah. I like you. Yeah, yeah. Let me be clear, I'm a fan of you, but no, you're not doing good. Yeah, yeah.

So what are you doing now? Is there something that you're doing right now? I mean, just what I have on the sheet here is that you're on English Teacher. Yeah, English Teacher on FX. I have not yet seen that, but it's getting the- The people seem to like it. Yeah, holy shit.

I'm happy it's doing well. A network comedy that like, and you know, it's always the quality of the person saying that it's quality that you listen to. And like, there's a lot of people that I'm like, oh, if they like it, it must be good. Yeah, I think, I feel very fortunate. I had no part in sort of the creation of it in any way.

I just show up and say my stuff. But I do think it's nice in that it's a true comedy, which for whatever various reasons, we have been lacking on television for a while. There are not a lot of true comedies. There are a lot of dramedies. There are a lot of things that are labeled comedy that no one laughs at at all. And I think while those shows can be great and that's not shots at them, it is sort of like a nice little refreshing sort of sip of true laughs that hasn't existed for a while. So I'm glad.

Oh, it's fantastic. And I mean, and it does really feel like It and Abbott Elementary are the two sort of vital comedies happening right now that aren't just like, you know, like, oh, you liked the hamburger with macaroni? Here, why don't you try this hamburger with rice? You know, it's just like the rehash and the sort of just cynical, you know, reserving of the same old thing.

Yeah. So it is, I mean, it's exciting. And it just means that there will now be eight other shows about school. They're coming. Yeah. And they're gonna be worse. They're gonna be terrible.

They're gonna be cheap, sad imitations. Yeah. They're gonna be worse. They're gonna be terrible. They're gonna be cheap, sad imitations. Yeah. And is that pretty much it? Or is that in standup that you're doing these things? Yeah, I'm going out on tour. My friend David Borey and I have a podcast, not to be competitive with the Andy, but...

Listen, I don't even know. It just, they prop me up. They wheel me in here. I give it an hour-ish. It's a nice wheel though. It is. Oh, it's very nice. Listen, I'm very lucky to be able to do it in this studio too. No, my friend David Borey and I have a podcast called My Momma Told Me,

which is about black conspiracy theories. Nice. We unpack various black conspiracy theories every week, and we're taking that out on tour this fall. And the title of the tour is fantastic. Oh, it's called the Start the Steal Tour. The Start the Steal Tour. 2024.

And it's great. We're going to hit 15 cities and it'll be a great time. So if you like conspiracy theory, if you like comedy first and foremost, and you don't mind a little bit of black shit in there, then come hang with us. Is it just the podcast or are you going to do any stand-up too? I'm going to do a few dates of stand-up.

I am not one of those guys that finishes the hour and immediately is already cranking out the next one. I think that personally feels a little antithetical to why I like this art form. I want it to be coming from a place of like true excitement and desire and like a need to put pen to page. And that to me takes time. I miss the era of standup when it was like every three years

you would see a new special, not every six months, somebody's putting more, you know, more stuff in front of you. So... Yeah. Well, I think I'm no expert, but it really seems like many hours are... First 20 minutes of, like, really rock-solid stuff. Yeah. And then the last 10 minutes of really good closer,

and then there's like a half an hour of... Oh, man. Okay. Could have taken this a little... Could have taken a little more time. Right, right. Like this could have been a half hour, you know? But everything's too long. Everything's too long, and who knows if hours

are even gonna exist after the next couple of years. So I'm grateful to still really enjoy the thing, and I wanna keep it that way by minimizing how much I owe to it immediately after finishing a special. Yeah. Do you have big grand plans for something? Like, is there like a movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Sure, of course. Right?

Uh... Become a dentist. And become a yeah. I know. Sure. Of course. Uh... Become a dentist. I... And become a dentist. And become a dentist. Um, I... Yeah, you know, that's the hope is I've been fortunate in the past to write things that I've gotten to star in. I would like to do more of that, be it film, be it television.

I think the goal is very much to, like like be able to create the palette that I get to play in. Yeah. Um, and I'm happy to go play in other people's palettes in the interim, but like, truly, I just want to be able to come up with the thing that, that not only solves my problems, but also makes me the, the, the person in charge that my mom can't take credit for, you know? Yeah. It is nice when you get to... I mean, the best part about getting some leverage is just getting to...

Because, you know, it's comedy. It's not science. No. And so many comedy rooms, you just end up like, look, okay, there's five ideas floating around. We just need somebody to go like, we're going with number three. And then you gotta let it go and move on. But if you get to be the one that's like,

you know, cause A, like, I don't know how you feel about yourself, but nobody has better judgment than me. In my opinion. Sure. And I would, and I would like, one of my lines with the, with around the Conan show was always like, guys, just if you want it to be good, just do what I tell you.

Like just, it's so simple. If you want the, if you want this bit to work, just do what I tell you. 100%. And, and it is really nice when you can just go like, well, this is how I want it to be. And you know, when you want it, you're open to hearing, because believe me, I'm sure you know, you can come,

I've come up with the funniest fucking shit, and then I tell other people and I'm like, oh, I guess it's not that great. Not only is it not the funniest shit, it's not even that funny. It's not that funny at all. So you've got to open to that, but it is so nice to just be able to go like, this is how I want it to be and just do it.

Yeah, I think our art form benefits from choices. It is not the best choices always. It is not even like the, the, to your point, there's no math to those choices. It is a dude or a lady with a preference and leaning hard into that preference for various reasons. And it is beautiful when you finally get to be the person

with taste as opposed to the person who's like, what about this idea? No? Okay, I'll shut the fuck up. Try to come up with a new one. Yeah up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Try to come up with a new one. Yeah, exactly. If you're not, yeah. If you have good taste,

as you're going towards the point where you can exercise your good taste, much of the good taste is learning when to go, okay, I'll shut up. Yeah, 100%. The people that kill that fight for it and fight for it and fight for it, you're just like, oh God.

No, it sucks to be alone with people when they're like repeating a bit that everybody clearly didn't want the first time. And I've always said, you know, like, especially that kind of show, it's like, you're setting, you're laying tracks for a train that you can hear coming. Like, there's no time.

Just get the tracks down, move it along. It also, I mean, it speaks, I think, to some extent, because I remember being that person in my early rooms, and some of it is just experience where you go, oh, the job is to just keep being funnier than I was yesterday. It's not to like find funny and keep funny. Funny is a refillable resource.

We can find more funny. We can't find more time. And so like you tried it, it bombed, and maybe there's a reason it bombed. People were plotting against you, all the things that you play in your head. But the reality is you can outdo that if you believe in yourself enough and truly are as funny as you think you are. And just have calm and know that you can always come up with more. You can always make more.

That's something I've always kind of, like I've always felt was like, well, if something didn't go or like, I mean, a couple times, you know, people took things that I did and used them somewhere else and it ripped off a little bit. And I'm like, I can make more. That's okay. Yeah, I'm not gonna, you know, people took things that I did and used them somewhere else and it ripped off a little bit. And I'm like, I can make more. That's okay.

Yeah, I'm not going to, you know, because they might do it better than I did, you know? So it's fine. I'll just, I'll make more. Yeah. I think if I, I've long believed that if a bit is capable of being stolen, then it wasn't probably the best bit that you had and that's okay.

Yeah, yeah. Let that shit go and figure out another one. Yeah, because it's a shirt that anybody can put on. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Well, what do you think is the best lesson you've learned up to this point? I once read this on Twitter,

and it's the lesson I think that I, it feels the most correct anytime somebody asks for like advice or feeling around advice, but never stand still on an escalator feels very much like the kind of mantra that I kind of like to live with on in my life is like you can be moving forward even as you are moving forward and find a way to like keep the progress going and keep strategizing towards a faster or at least easier path. And so I think that that idea kind of lives with me always of like never stand still on an escalator. You can do more. You can keep pushing. I read something once, I don't remember where, but the inventor of the escalator intended it

to be walked. Whoa. And was sort of apparently outraged that people were taking it as an excuse for a break. Like it was always meant to be an accelerator, not to sort of like supplant your own efforts. No. Yeah, and that makes sense.

It truly does slow up everything for your life, for the people's lives behind you. It's hugely inconvenient when somebody just stands at the mall no less and decides to take in Macy's and all of its glory. It's like, no. And really spread out too. Yeah, yeah. Scoot the fuck over and keep going.

Let me go. Yeah, I got shoes to buy. Well, Langston, thank you so much. This was fun. Yeah, it was really fun. Thanks so much. As I yell it at you to demand that you say it back to me. This was fun. This was fun.

Yeah, yes. Oh, yes, it was. Yeah, no, I had a... You're hurting my arm. And I wish nothing for the best for you, and I hope that English teacher lasts a thousand years. All right. Well, thank you for being here and thank all of you out there for being here. And I'll be back next week with more of The Three Questions. The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco production. It is produced by Sean Daugherty and engineered by Rich Garcia. Additional engineering support by Eduardo Perez and Joanna Samuel.

Executive produced by Nick Leow, Adam Sachs, and Jeff Ross. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Battista, with assistance from Matty Ogden. Research by Alyssa Grahl. Don't forget to rate and review and subscribe to The Three Questions with Andy Richter wherever you get your podcasts. And do you have a favorite question

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