The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Mo Welch

Episode Date: February 3, 2026

Comedian, cartoonist, actress, and writer Mo Welch joins Andy Richter to discuss her hilarious comedy documentary specials, writing on "The Office" spin-off "The Paper," starting comedy before she even realized she was gay, IHOP spaghetti, and much more. Do you want to talk to Andy and friends live on SiriusXM’s Conan O’Brien Radio? Tell us your favorite dinner party story (about anything!) or ask a question - leave a voicemail at 855-266-2604 or fill out our Google Form at BIT.LY/CALLANDYRICHTER. Listen to "The Andy Richter Call-In Show" every Wednesday at 1pm Pacific on SiriusXM's Conan O'Brien Channel. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hi, everybody. Welcome back to the three questions. I'm your host, Andy Richter, and today I am talking to the very funny comedian Mo Welch. Well, she's not just a comedian. She's a cartoonist, a writer, an actor, a mother. You can find her live dates on Instagram at at Mo Mo Welch. Her most recent special, Mo Welch, Hollywood Forever is available to watch on YouTube now. Here's my really great conversation with Mo Welch. Hi, Mo. Hi. Hi. How are you? I'm great. How are you? I'm good. We have so many things in common, you know, because you know I'm from Illinois. Yes. And have a lot of family in central Illinois, not just, I mean, I'm from kind of west of Chicago, which is more suburbs.

Right. Where were you? Because I know you were central and then you move north. Yeah, yeah. And by the way, if you're from central Illinois, you know every person, like if you get into the industry, you know every person who is in. comedy that's from that area. Which means Nick Offerman.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, even people that went to Illinois State, like Natasha Legerro. Oh, yeah. Or like, who lived down there, Jane Lynch, Sean Hayes. I knew that all of them were they when. I've been following their careers because I'm like, if they did it, maybe I could do it. Absolutely.

Yeah, yeah. But it was born in normal Illinois. Uh-huh. Yeah, and then I lived outside of normal for until I was a junior high and then we moved to Oak Park. Oak Park. Oh, okay. Yeah, because I just wondered where it was that you were. Why Oak Park?

That's such a beautiful town. It is. My grandparents live there, my mom's parents. Oh, wow. And they still live there. They still live on Ridgeland in Oak Park and their fixtures of the community. Oh, that's great. Yeah, yeah.

And so my mom grew up there. How did your mom end up in central Illinois married to a TV thief? Oh, wow. She met a country boy at IHOP. Yeah. Well, she was going to U of I. I see. Uh-huh.

And she was working at IHOP and he was on work release, building the 7-Eleven next door. And she saw him and I was like, what drew you to him? And she's like, he had his shirt off. I was like, okay, that's good. Wow. I was like, I actually don't need to go anymore. I don't need to hear anymore. Yeah, yeah.

And she said he always came in and ordered spaghetti at IHOP. And I was like, that's so weird. She has very particular taste. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. She was like, ooh, someone. who likes fine cuisine, like spaghetti at an eye hop. Well, and also, too, a guy that goes against the grain.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. He probably goes to Pizza Hut and has the pancakes. He's mysterious. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah, there's, that's amazing, like, what draws your parents to each other. Right. Truly. Yeah.

Weird. It is weird. Yeah. Because my dad, from whom I am estranged, which is another thing. I don't know if you read that on Wikipedia. But that's another commonality that we have. But that whole side of the family is from Springfield. Okay.

Which is another sort of like Springfield just really like I so I spent like a lot of my childhood. It was kind of like second home because he lived in Bloomington. Indiana. But we would go to my grandparents in Springfield. So spent a lot of time in Springfield. The Capitol. Yes, the Capitol, the gorgeous Capitol. Which now I've had from having like a call-in show or having or being online like people from Springfield like won't contact me and or call into this radio show that I do. And they're like, I'm from Springfield and it's fucking awful. Like Springfield must have really gone downhill. I mean, it was not great. before and I have cousins that are all moved away from Springfield.

Right. And they're all just like, oh yeah, I couldn't take it anymore. I think that's why I love Central Illinois because like even the people that live there, they're not pretending. Like they're like, listen, it's so great. They're just like, I ended up here and they're so supportive of anyone who's, who made it out. Who wants to get out.

Yeah. No, I, it's because I saw, which by the way, people, you need to watch most special, uh, dad jokes. Oh, thank you. Because it's like, and it's really, I've seen a number of stand-up specials, which honestly, just generally speaking, I have a hard time with stand-up specials. Yeah. Like, especially hours. Yes.

There's like the first 20 minutes and then the last 10 minutes and then there's that other 30 minutes. Yeah. Or I'm just like, this could have been half an hour, you know. It is true. People that I know and that I think are hilarious. I just, you know. Yeah, I think I feel the same way. And like I can do an hour special.

I could have just done that. But like I also get in that phase where I'm like 15 minutes and I want it to switch. Yes. And I want it to be something else. Something else. Yeah, yeah. And that's how I try to edit mine now. Well, you this one would, I mean, there's, there are other people that have done sort of hybrid, you know, stand of special intermixed with footage.

And this is the best one I think I've ever seen. Thank you. It's really fantastic. Thank you so much. Really such a, like a watchable, complete project. It's really wonderful. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome.

Well, I think, I mean, I think the differences is that, like, it was a documentary first, and I edited it completely as a 36-minute documentary. Oh, really? So it had. With no intention ever? With no intention of putting the stand-up in. Wow. And then I had a beginning, middle end, but it was.

felt like I couldn't, I was honestly don't think I could sell it. And so I was like, well, maybe I'll put some standup in there. So then I produced like a year later produced like a standup part of it. Yeah. And so I mean, I think that that's why it flows. Yeah. And because it's like leading obviously up to something scary where you don't know what's going to happen. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it is. I mean, no, it is interesting because it is kind of like the opposite normally. I think a lot of times when I've seen stand up specials. Mm-hmm. that have kind of a hybrid thing. You do get the sense of like they're just,

they're just padding out. Like, they don't have to write as many jokes, basically. So they're going to do a little documentary stuff. So it's nice that this was kind of done the opposite way. Yeah, that's how I try to do them now, too. Like, I just filmed a different one about my last. But it's not out, yeah, right? It's not out.

It's like, it's about my last season in recreational basketball. But it's a lot lighter than the first. That's why. But it's just like all my ears playing basketball and it's the lat. And I'm treating it like it's an NBA championship, you know? Right, right. But we followed, I think, three or four seasons. So, I mean, we've been doing it for years.

Wow. And we ended up, yeah, we did the last season. And we did win. I don't care to tell. It's fine if you know that. Spoiler alert. Spoiler. Yeah.

Well, what I was going to say, too, about like, seeing the footage of you in like these little central Illinois towns. Yeah. It's like it's almost like trauma triggering, you know? It is. I mean, because even like, again, our town is, you know, it's an hour from Chicago. Which town is it? Yorkville.

Okay. Yorkville. It's by Aurora. Well, there's, it's in plainfield and stuff. Yes, exactly. It is similar, though, because you still see the cornfields out there. Oh, yeah. And I mean, and my, like, yeah, you go out of town and it's, it's cornfields and beanfields and it's flat, you know, and it's, and starting there all the way down to like Southern Illinois, it's the same.

It is. It's the same. It's this side corn, this side beans. Yeah. And I, did you detassel in the, yes. Yes. Yes, I detasseled in the summers. I walked beans.

That was the other thing, which is just picking up rocks, you know. I never helped with the castrating of pigs. Right, that's nice. Yeah, yeah. Because that one sounded like too fucking gruesome. Yeah, anything with animals, I was kind of, I tried, my friend always tried to get me to the horse stables and I'm like fully allergic. And just like on this horse, like calabine. I'm like, I hate this.

I hate my life. I did hay baling, which I was terribly allergic. So I was like, I looked like fucking the on Golden Pond actress. It's so terrible. Oh, my God. You know, I mean. Jane Fonda? No.

The actress that talks like, Catherine Hepburn. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had to know the voice to remember. But, I mean, I would wear like gloves with a sweatshirt tucked into them and like just, you know, like practically a face mask. Yeah. Because that would just be so miserable. But it was how you made money. People don't really know that about Illinois.

Yeah. Because it's not like you don't think farm, you think Chicago. Yes. But like there's Chicago and everything else. else. Yeah, everything else. And also it's like Chicago's like the blue dot. And then it's much different in central Illinois and southern Illinois. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. And I, and I just, and like I say, when I just, seeing those small towns, I can remember once, the first time I was in the car with my mother and whatever year that song came out, the John Cougar Mellon Camp, I was born in a small town. I can breathe in a small town. And when it got to the lyric of, whatever it is, like, people in a small town let you be who you want to be. My mom, I didn't even know she was listening, but she just went, bullshit.

It's the opposite. It's the absolute opposite. It's the absolute opposite. The glorifying of small town. I mean, it's all of country music. It's like Tim McGraw, like, oh, I miss four, you know, like they get to the city. Oh, the stoplights. Oh, no, a stoplight.

I miss a stop sign. Like, okay. Okay, loser. No, I know. Or like that Jason Aldine song. Like, try this in a small town, which is like, oh, God. Like, you didn't even write that song. And it's just like, and it's like, try it like, it's an, like, try this in a small town.

Like, all right, I won't. Yeah. I want whatever, whatever it is, I'm not going to try it in your small town. And by the way, like the whole thing about like the controversy of that song at the time was just like, it's just like there's such dissonation. I don't want to talk about politics, but like that's, it's not racist. Like, and at the time I was like, I speak white. I grew up white. Yeah.

I know what that means. Yeah. I know what you try that to small town. I know what that means. Exactly. And by the way, it's like we wouldn't even know, sorry to everyone in the small town, but because I'm from one I can say it. Like, we wouldn't even know you existed unless the internet was there.

Yeah. Like, so get off your pedestal. Yeah. Yeah, it's, in small towns is, you know, I, even when I watch like B-roll or like the dad joke stuff comes up, it also gives me the hives, you know, or I'm just like, but there, I have something built inside of me where I miss the air of the cornfields, like, at least once a year. And it, like, takes me back because I'm like, no, I'm a city girl.

And then I just go, oh, I really miss that. And I, like, yearn for it. Yeah. But then when I go back, I go, I'm never. never coming back here again. Like the second I'm there, I'm like, what the fuck am I, why am I romanticizing this? But it has a pull on me. I, it's, I have the exact same experience with like, like, having lived here for so long, going back there and just like to me, what strikes me is like it's so green. Yeah. And like the growth of things is, it's like almost

oppressive. Yeah. Like things, like, you don't have to do anything and shit, just grow like crazy. Right. Whereas here, it's like if you leave your yard alone, it turns to dust. Right. And I kind of like, and I miss that green. And I do kind of like people will talk about, you know, how boring and flat it is. And I still find it beautiful. I do too. I find the flatness with just like a barn here and then like a grain silo there for as long as you, as far as you can see. Like I find that kind of beautiful. I do too. That's what's messed up about it. I'm like, wait, why do I feel that way? Yeah. But, you know, you go back to my small town, it's like, it's called Armington, Illinois. There's 400 people there.

Yeah. And there are no businesses. And there haven't been no young people. Yeah. And it's like, when you go back, though, it is the same because nothing's still there. There's still nothing there. Yeah, yeah. And so there is something to like, think, like the world is changing around it.

And it is kind of beautiful, but then, you know, I obviously can't live there. Yeah, yeah. Or I would just like walk into a cornfield and you never see me again. I also, too, I also still have as much as I, you know, I get hives watching stuff like that. I watch shows that supposedly take place around, like with small town people. And I am like endlessly offended by what cartoonish, how cartoonish the depiction of small town people. is. Even the ones that are supposed to be like sympathetic to small town people, it's like, I just hear L.A. fucking writers rooms, you know, like taught, like how they, you know.

It is true. I mean, I love like being, you know, when people aren't from the Midwest and they try to write Midwestern people. I'm like that. And they write them like they've never seen, like they've never seen a car. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Like this is hilarious. Like some kind of odd child. Right. Like some sort of like. grown child. They're just, you know, still wild eye, wide-eyed wondered. I remember, like, Fargo, one of my favorite fucking shows, love that show. But it's still occasionally, they'll play with the accent, you know.

Right. And it just, and like there's one, there was one scene where somebody goes into a bank and it's like a fancy bank. And the, like the president of the bank asked the person, you want a cream soda? And I was like, you motherfuckers, you just said that because you know how cream soda will sound coming out of a Minneapolis mouth. You motherfuckers. Like, nobody at the bank goes, you want a cream soda? Like nobody has said that as an opening in a business meeting in the Midwest ever. Cream soda.

Fuck you. Whoever wrote that. I'm talking to you, buddy. Can't you tell my love? One of the things about your special, because I also, too, another commonality that I have is like, and by no means do I want to get into a dysfunction off with you because you win. I don't know. But no, no, you win. But like I didn't have the happiest childhood.

And there was a lot of like divorce and alcoholism, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. and a lot of depression and kind of like basically learning the language of depression is like a mode of existing kind of thing, you know? And a coping mechanism with that, a way of dealing with that, even among the people that you're like trapped in this black cloud of existence with is laughing about it. Right. Is making fun of it, laughing about it, absolutely sad, gut-wrenching things that happen, fucking howling with laughter about it. later. Yeah. And, and I just, dad jokes is kind of about that. Although I can tell, I can see while you're doing it. And you even say at a couple points, like, I know this isn't funny, but I'm going to tell you. Right. And then you dip into something really fucking, like, dark, yeah. Yeah, that, like, you know,

curls your hair with dysfunction and trauma. And so I know it's like, like, you are like walking a line, especially because you can make the jokes. I'm sure that you can make jokes with your siblings that you cannot make to other people because they'll be like, she's fucking broken. And it's like, well, yeah, that's the point. Right. But if you are, if you are joking about it, like, if you're joking about it on stage, I think you have gone through enough.

Like you, I, the dysfunction isn't as much there. You've gone through it enough. Yeah, yeah. You know, you've like worked your way through it that I've, and a lot of times on stage, just like I've already told this like hundreds of times. Yeah, yeah. And so this is like the finished product. I mean, now when you were just saying that, I was like, oh, that's interesting because I don't,

as poor and, like, dysfunctional as we were, like, I almost feel like we were too poor to be depressed. It's, it's like a weird thing, but like my mom is not depressed. And like, so we never, and I don't know if my dad is. Yeah. And so in a situation like that, if everybody were also depressed, I think it would have been really, really difficult. but because my mom's an optimist and my dad wasn't really there.

Yeah. It was, I lived in a household where it's like my mom was like a big dreamer. Wow. She is still. You know, she just started a podcast.

And so she really? Yeah, she started a podcast with my sisters. And so it's like, she's always like thinking about the next thing and dreaming and having fun. Yeah, yeah.

And so I think that that really helped having a mom who was like, she always was like, don't sweat the small stuff. And, you know, and like I think I, I really learned that and I don't sweat the small stuff. And I really just like try to, you know, a lot of her is in me. I'm like so envious of people with like balanced brain chemistry.

You know, it's like I just, it's like your mom has every reason in the world to have a shitty outlook on life. Totally. And just the fact that's like, oh my God. Thank God your serotonin levels. Right. And we don't like, you know, we always had bowls of ice cream at the end of the night and not alcohol. And so like, so we are all addicted to sweets, but we don't have like the alcohol thing. My dad does.

But you can drive. You can drive. Yeah, yeah. We can drive after our addiction. Yeah, yeah. We can drive and we can eat our addiction as we drive. Tell people just so that people don't know basically just kind of the synopsis of what, you know, like your dad. and your mom?

Yeah. Well, my, my dad was like very verbally and physically abusive. And, you know, he was in and out of our house. Like, you know, there were times when my sister was born, he was in prison. And then when I was born, he was like on work release. And so he was out more than he was in, which my mom also is like, I'm so, it was so much harder when he was there. Yeah.

And she had five kids with him. and eventually she divorced when I was 12, and then I didn't see him for over 20 years. And so in dad jokes, it's me going to see him because I knew he would never try to contact me. And so I had just had a child, and I was like, I kind of want to. Like, I had this like, fuck it sort of mentality, and I was like, I just want to see him,

and I want to see what he's up to. and I want to see if we could have a relationship because I can shoot the shit with anybody. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, well, I can shoot the shit with him even. Right. And so I, and then, of course, I turned it into, I was like, yeah, let's bring cameras.

Well, yeah, but, you know. Life gives you lemon. I know. Open a lemonade stand. Yes. Don't just make lemonade. Yeah. Open a lemonade stand.

Open an Instagram channel about lemonade or an Instagram account. Do you think, do you think, Do you think like, is there guilt on his part, like why he wouldn't reach out to you? Do you get that sense from him? I don't get the sense that that's like in, it's really weird. I don't get the sense that he thinks about us at all. And I also, I don't think he thinks, I think he probably thinks he's the victim. Does he?

Yeah. Wow. Even though he doesn't say much. He's very like Heath Ledger's character and Brokeback Mountain. And the way he talks, that's like my dad. Like it was like almost traumatized and see that movie because I was like, that sounds just like my dad. Yeah, yeah. And he just doesn't say a lot.

And, you know, but I could tell that he puts a lot of blame on like my mom in life. But he doesn't say, I don't know, he doesn't say much. That's why I had to say something to get it initiated. Does your mom, do you think there's like, like, does your mom ever say like, hey, sorry about bringing five of you into the world with this guy, you know? I always, we're always like, but why five? Yeah. You're like, the red flags were there from, the red flags were there since the spaghetti. Right, right.

You know, and then you're going in, this one, you know, he's in jail like while she's born. This one, work release. And then he's leaving. He's leaving for like two years at a time. And I think she, you know, she's Catholic. And that's just the way she's brought up was just to like go with it. And I think she really liked having kids. And we are all really close to her.

Yeah. and we are her friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was just making people who she could love. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Making friends. She's just making friends. I'm producing friends from my womb.

She truly is. That's what parenting is. You're just like, you're disappointed with your friends. You're like, I'm going to make one. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to do it right this time because those fuckers are all messed up. Somebody got off track early with my friends. I'm going to make this one exactly right.

And I'm going to pick out what they wear. Yeah. We're going to eat where I want to eat. Yeah. And then I'll tell you, because I got older kids, then they grow up and they just go and be themselves, whatever they want to do. Yeah, I'm not looking forward to that. It's weird. No, it is.

It's like, I think actually, not to be all over the place here, but like having when they, I find, because I'm not a huge worrier, but when they got to be like close to being out of the house. and close to, well, first of all, there was the like, oh, wow, you really are going to, because as a parent, you're kind of always, like I always say, like you're supposed to be sort of working towards your own obsolescence. Mm-hmm. You're trying to create kids that don't need you anymore. Right. And that's a great way to do it. And that's kind of the only way to do it. Mm-hmm.

But then you reach a point where you're like, oh, you really are just going to fucking get out of here and just go and live. Right. Wow. Huh. Okay. And then the second step after that is like, oh my God, you're just going to be out there as an adult making your own decisions and doing your own shit. And there's nothing I can do about it, really. I mean, aside from, you know, keep a bed in your room. Right. Just in case it all goes south. But that to me was the most stressful part of childhood. Right. I mean, I can't even imagine it. It's, yeah. I mean, I get why we left our houses, but like, why are they leaving their houses? Well, my 25-year-old still lives with us, so, you know, it's okay with me. But, I mean, I got, you know, when I, when my ex-wife and I split, the worst part was

moving out of the house that I lived in with my kids. So when he came back to live with us, I was like, all right, you know. And my wife now is kind of like, I mean, she likes, she loves having him there and she loves being there, but she's from a big Mexican-American family. And they're not like a lot of, you didn't stay home forever. You get the fuck out and start earning and stuff. So there are sometimes where she's like, you know, feels like she's much more likely just sort of like be like, it's an act of kindness and love to kick a bird out of the nest. Right. And I'm sort of like, I don't care. He can stay here forever as far as I'm concerned. It also depends. Like I feel like I, when

I started stand up and improv and all of that, I was living at home. And I think that was really needed, even for material. Like in those early years, I'm like, no, if you're doing open mics, you should live with your parents. You have a few, yeah, a few new jokes. What else are you going to talk about? Yeah. Roommates? Who cares? No, this is good stuff. Yeah, yeah. Now, uh, growing up in a, was it, like, was it a happy home when your dad wasn't there? Was it, like, were you got, was it a funny home? I did have a, you have a, you? I did have a, great childhood. It's so we were on welfare and, you know, all of the things, if you look at it on paper, you're like, that doesn't sound fun. Yeah, yeah. But there are five of us and we were always fighting

or like, you know, playing together. It was like, it was a mess. Yeah. And, but I have like such good memories. Yeah. Of, you know, being a kid. And like, I just remember the days were so long. Yeah. And I couldn't wait to leave all of them. But like, while I was there, we had a blast. I mean, My sister's 15 months older than me. I have a sister who's two years younger than me, and we were close in age. Are you kind of middle-ish? Yeah, I'm the second out of five. And then we have, like, young, the younger ones were like our babies.

Yeah. Yeah. And like our projects. Yeah, yeah. And when there's that many. Yeah. When there's that many. And animals, too, it's like, it's a, it's a factory.

It was, everybody's got to punch you in and punch out. Yeah, we all have these guinea pigs were everywhere. We had all these kittens. They were always like out having sex with other cats and coming back with like a litter. Yeah, yeah. We were in 4-H and we were in all of the programs. Yeah, yeah. So it's like we were like real country kids.

And so then when we moved up near Chicago, it was like such a culture shock for us. Did you take all the cats with you? No, we had to leave everything. Wow. We had to give them, you know, we gave them all away. Yeah, yeah. Gave him to farms. But we, yeah, I left.

We left all of our animals. And that was in junior high? Yeah, junior high just started seventh grade. Wow. And so I get in there and I'm the new kid and I had like prescription deodorant. I'd sweat so much. And it was just like the worst time to move. I didn't even know they made such a thing from children.

Children's prescription deodorant. I've never been prescribed anything except for deodorant. It's so embarrassing, especially as a comedian. It's like, who is the one that first noticed that like? It was me. You are ripe. Yeah. It was like, it was just the sweat.

Like, even now I have like such PTSD that I'm like, of course we wear a baby blue shirt. Like you never know what this is going to look like. Just keep your arms down. I will. I will throw your ass out of here. What was that like to move from central Illinois? Because Oak Park is the city. Yeah.

Oak Park is, yeah. It's like so it's the closest suburb. Yeah. Yeah. It's a five minute train ride from downtown in Chicago. Yeah. And we lived, well, you know, I say in the documentary, moved into this domestic violence shelter,

which is actually like an apartment. Uh-huh. And, and O'Park, yeah. And then after that, we moved to Austin, on Austin, which is like if you cross the street, you're in Chicago. And then back here's Oak Park. Yeah. And so we lived-

Chicago, too, like the west side of Chicago, which is rough. And it was really, it was like one of the worst areas and crime in the United States when we moved there. Yeah. Because of me, obviously. Yeah. I one time, because I did film production in the city,

and we wrapped really late. We were shooting on the west side, like out, like right on the edge of Oak Park, Chicago, and some studio that was out there. And I was driving back on surface streets. It was like 3 o'clock in the morning, wintertime. And I was sitting at a red light in a truck. like a panel truck, fully the, you know, camera gear and whatever.

I was sitting at a red light and a police car pulled up and went like, roll down your window. And I rolled down my window. And then cop went, what are you fucking doing? And I said, I'm waiting at the red light. And he went, go. Like, don't wait for red. Yeah, well, don't wait at red lights in this neighborhood.

I was like, no, all right. Yeah. You're like, I didn't know it. Yeah. I didn't know. It meant green here. They were, that they were like stop signs here on the west side of Chicago. You have, I mean, I used to, I used to, I used to, when I first started comedy and do open mics, I would drive, you know, I always, I hated driving on the expressway because I was afraid of it.

Yeah. So I would just drive North Avenue all the way. And it's like, it's not an area you want to stop it. No, it certainly isn't, yeah. But like, even at the time and probably now I have this, like. It's better now, I think. I don't know if it is, but it's, in some areas. Yeah, yeah.

once you get closer to the city. But it's still like kind of scary, but like I have this thing in my mind where I'm like, for some reason I feel like bulletproof. And I don't know. I'm just like I can take anybody. But I know it's not true. But in my mind, I'm like, I could take anyone. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I could kill anyone with my hands. Can't you tell my loves it grows? Well, I mean, did you find, was that transition into city life? Like, was it hard to find yourself? did it, you know? I've been lucky to, like, make friends pretty easily. And the first day of school, I made a bunch friends. I'm still friends to them.

Oh, wow. And, yeah, it's, it's been, it's been, I don't know, I think because I could make friends. And it just goes back to that shooting the shit sort of thing. I think it was completely okay for me, but for my siblings, it wasn't this. My sister had a hard time with it. But, yeah, it was crazy. I mean, it's like, it's harder to be poor. in a city than, I mean, the country, it's like kind of so many people are poor that it's okay.

Yeah, yeah. But in the city, it's like, yeah, it's rough. You can run around outside and you don't, you know, everybody's the same outside. Right. And there's more people that see you like, you know, when you're going to use, like at the time you had to use the food stamp things, it wasn't, didn't look like a credit card. Yeah. Yeah.

And, you know, there's more people to be embarrassed by, like around. Right. Right. Right. Wow. I'm going to make a guess that you were like the morale keeper in your family. Like keeping it light and keeping people happy was kind of your job. Yeah, we were, I mean, yeah, I think so.

Yeah. Yeah, myself and my mom, she, you know, I don't know how she did it. I would have, like, I wouldn't have done it the way that she did it. But yeah, yeah, she worked so many jobs. come home and she'd be like still just wanting to watch TV with us. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God.

I know. God bless her. God bless her. She did end up putting a lock on her room because she was like, nobody can go in my room when I'm gone because she wanted to look the same when she came back. Oh, would you guys just go through her stuff? Yeah, watch TV in her room, you know, eat ice cream, bowls of ice cream everywhere.

Yeah. Yeah. No, I figured too, because when you said like that you, like, couldn't wait to get away, Like that's, that's like a, I don't know, it's like something, you know, the Joseph Campbell's, you know, sort of archetypes. Like one of them is that, because I had a family member who like went to a therapy, like went through a therapy that was all based on that. Right. And like I was supposedly like the favorite, which like, well, yeah, come on. Compare me to those other people.

Who wouldn't choose me? Obviously. But it's like the characteristics are, tries to keep. everybody happy, tries to be the peacekeeper, tries to be the morale keeper, and is always the first one to leave. Right. And that was like, that was me. It's almost like your project is done. And you're like, I've done what I can for you people.

And now you either take the lessons or you go all your own way. Yeah. And it's, well, there's also like just the, I think the aspect of like, like, I don't resent that I had to do this work and that this was my job. But I do not want to continue. Like, this is not. Right. I got my own fish to fry. You know, I'm done keeping your plate spinning.

Yeah. I got to go buy plates of my own and figure out who the fuck I am. Go become a busker. Yeah, exactly. When did you start really thinking about doing comedy? I, weirdly, I went to the University of Wyoming because I wanted to something different. and I knew it was far away. Why that one?

My mom lived there in the summer when she was a teenager, and so I kind of romanticized it, even though she lived in Jackson Hole, and then I was going to Laramie, which is like a completely different part. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Laramie's kind of prairie, isn't it? Laramie, it has really pretty mountains around it,

but it's in a valley, and it's just a lot different. Yeah. Yeah, but it's also three hours away from Denver. Mm-hmm. And so when I was going to, college there signed up for these improv classes in Denver. And so I would go there every week. I would drive to Denver and then come back up. And then I started when I was doing improv, they were like, I think you'd be better at stand-up. So I started to do stand-up.

I'm, I feel like I'm a team player, but like I think probably because I was writing jokes, you know what I mean? I was probably like joky or, you know, and I was very dead man. You were preparing your improv? I'm sure it felt like that. Yeah, yeah. I'm sure I did actually. Now I think about it, it feels like me to like cheat at something like that. Well, yeah, if you think of a joke on a Wednesday, why, you know, you're not going to waste it.

And no one will ever notice in an improv say. Yeah. On a Viking ship that I do something about a shoe store. Yes. I'm like talking about my childhood up there. Like, what else? What else? What? Yeah.

Note pad. Yeah. Like, what else I have here? Like, that's not how this works. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I was like, so the second I did improv, even though I was not great at it, the second I did it, I knew I would do it for the rest of my life, like comedy.

I was like, this is so good. What were you studying in Wyoming? Photo journalism. Oh. Yeah. Did a lot of journalism classes, a lot of business classes. And then I dropped out when I started to stay. Oh, really?

Mm-hmm. And I moved to Denver for a little while. Oh, okay. And then moved to Chicago. Is there a stand-up scene in Denver? Yeah, it's great. It's like a wonderful stand-up scene. It's really good.

It's really good for younger comics. Yeah. Yeah. And they've got comedy works there, which is one of the best, you know, stand-up clubs in the country. And so you can come up from there and then go off. Go off. And then get out. Go off to a coast.

Did you Like was there Immediately did you feel like no this is better for me like stand up as opposed to improv? Yeah Because I was living in Wyoming The class was once a week But stand up was every night So I could go

You know come and go as I pleased And so what I would do is I would drive down And for three hours I would like go over my five minutes set And for like the open mic And then I would go to the open mic and it would come out completely different. And I bomb. And then I'd have to, like, drive home at 1 a.m.

and just be like, why? But you'd have so much adrenaline that it felt safe to do it. How many nights a week were you doing a six-hour round trip? A lot. It was, you know, it was at least three. And then I moved. But I was only five months in. I think I was like, I'm moving to Denver.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that is another thing, too, central Illinois. Same thing. Like an hour of. country driving is different than an hour of city driving.

Right. You know, it is because we used to, where I grew, you know, where I grew up, it'd be like, you know, the nice restaurants would be in like different kind of far, like there'd be, you know, like a nice restaurant in Morris, Illinois. Yeah. And then, and it would take an hour sometimes to drive there, but it didn't seem like, you know. No, it seems like funny. It's more St.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That gas station is near there and dad jokes. Because that would be the halfway point from central Illinois to Chicago. Would be Morris and Dwight? Yeah. Yeah.

No, it was fine to drive. It was, you know, and I was going over my set and I had like this new perspective on life. Like, I'm going to be a comic. So I had a lot to think about. May I ask like at what point during this do you come out? Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Yeah.

Well, comedy. By the way, you are gay. Oh, okay. Yeah. I'm being outed. Your wife, your wife called and wanted me to remind you. You just want me to put my arms up to see if there's my pit stains.

Like, yes, and gay. And hair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We, oh my God, I came out like, I started comedy first.

And then like comedy like led me to being gay. Really? It just led me to coming out. I think I open myself up. Then that's why they don't let their kids do comedy. Yeah. Especially the Catholics. No, it was just like it was time to be like, you know.

I didn't know. I really came up on me. It was like the same way I didn't know, I was like going to do comedy. I was one day we were out after an improv set at, like, rock bottom brewery. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Eating melted cheese and drinking.

And the waitress, someone was like, I think she has a crush on you. And I was like, I was like, what? Oh, she's a cry. And the way, yeah. And the way that I reacted as opposed to a guy was like so different. And I just like butterflies. And like that just led me into like, oh, like that literally just led me into. I think I'm gay.

Really? I never felt. And I had a high school boyfriend for four years, had a college boyfriend for two years. And I just was like the feeling I had from like somewhat a girl saying she had a crush on me as opposed to like six years with these muscle dudes. Yeah, yeah. It was so different that I just, like, knew I should just, like, follow that path. There had been no, like, fooling around with girls before that at all. No, there's nothing.

Wow. Yeah. There was nothing. And it was, I mean, like, everyone definitely told me I was gay, you know, throughout my life, including the boyfriends. Yeah. And I was like, you guys are so. That's funny joke.

That's a funny joke. Everyone in my life plays on me. Everyone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. guys. Yeah. It's so funny thinking back. And, you know, there was this cafe in Denver called their cafe, but H-E-R was capitalized in there. So it was like her cafe. And I went in and they

were playing the L word, which I had never seen before. And I sat down as like one of the only people there. And I just like take out my joke notebook and I'm writing my jokes and like drinking a tea. And I was just like this is like trying to find a way to be gay. Yeah, yeah. To figure out what it was. You go to the one cafe, you know, in the West. Yeah. A lesbian cafe.

And I'm just like waiting for somebody to ask what I'm writing. I'm just writing like, you know, dick jokes. Oh, jokes. Yeah. About my dad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Just something really sexy. It's just like my dad left. So I'm just like writing material about that. Yeah. He was in prison, so, yeah. Was your dad, like, when you contacted your dad, like, had he seen any of your stand-up? Was he aware of, like, the fact that he didn't tell me if he had seen. I think he was aware I was a comedian.

Yeah. But, like, I don't have a lot online, at least at the time I didn't. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know how it would get to him unless he was searching for it. Yeah. Does he have any contact with any? of you kids?

Like to know anything about like... It's been like on and off like with one of my siblings who lives down in central Illinois. Yeah. But like it's only when he wants to. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a weird thing. I think I'm so like whatever about it only because I've like processed it and I'm like, I don't know.

He's not that great of a hang. Yeah. So I'm like, what am I missing out on here? You know, I'm like, I don't know. I had such like a good, I was such a good mom and my grandparents are so great. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like I have so much love in my life.

And even then that I was like, I honestly, this is going to sound mean, but it's like I knew he was a loser. And I was like, whatever. Yeah. You know. And yeah. And I mean, and it's also like the kind of thing where it's like, why waste the energy of being resentful? Right. of this turnip from which you can get no blood, you know.

I mean, but there, you know, there still is, though, I mean, for me, because, I mean, it's similar. I don't want to get too much into my, you know, my dad and my relationship. I mentioned it here and there on here, and I'm always like, oh, why did I do that? But that's what, I actually think it's really interesting to listen to, though. Like, maybe we'll start a new podcast daddy issues. Yeah. All right. All right.

I mean, but I just, I, there still is a part of me. It's like there's still, there's always going to be a part of me. It's a little bit pissed off. Yeah. You know. Well, because you probably just can't imagine. And as a parent, like I cannot imagine being away from my daughter, not knowing where she is. Huge part of it.

Huge part of it is like, what? Yeah. Like, and then, you know, and as a kid, all these excuses about why, why there couldn't be more. interaction or more time or more just investment. Right. All these excuses that you're like, oh, okay, you know, you take. And then it was like the minute the first kid came out, I was like, what? Yeah.

What the fuck? Like, you only live four hours away. Like, you are making excuses. They were being selfish. Yeah. And my, you know, there are times where I, you know, I am. empathetic and I go, well, this childhood fucking sucked. And, you know, he's like he was in the Jehovah's Witness, like, sector of that.

And, like, there was a lot. But at the same time, I'm like, well, you could even look at my childhood and say, well, her childhood fucking sucks. So what am I going to be a bad mom? Yeah. You know, like, no. Yeah. You know, there is, like, there's a point where you go, like, well, you had those five kids. So, yeah.

And I want to check in. And also, too, because I'm, I can be almost. I'd be pretty strict about this kind of stuff to where it's like we're all grownups. Right. We're all grownups. We all have access to information. And we all to, we all know the way it's supposed to go. Like we know like your dad knows what a good dad is.

Like the concept of a good dad, he knows what that is. Right. So for it to be like it's not his fault. It's like, yeah. Yeah. You know, it's not like you, you know. You can, you could be, like, he could be like a kind of shitty dad because he had like a weird childhood. Yes.

You can't have shortcomings. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But like all you, you have to show up. Yeah. That's like the thing. Yeah, you have to show up and you have to not be abusive. But like, yeah, I've looked at like the family dynamics a lot because, you know, I have a child and obviously she was made in a different way. and we have a donor,

and then we have my wife and my wife's family, and then my family, and then the donor's family is incredible, too, because he's one of our best friends. Oh, wow. Yeah, and so they're in our lives. And I'm looking at this kid, and I'm like, she is so much love,

like a community of love. Yeah. And I'm like, because for me, I always thought, like, well, it's so shitty, like I didn't get that dad. It's not about the dad. It's just like, if you're brought into this world and you have these parents that are like,

okay, this is our child and we're going to raise a child. And then one of them leaves. Yeah. Like it's devastating. Yeah. You know? And but like I look at her. I'm like, wow, all these people like came in.

Like the second she's born, we just have all this, this huge family and she's so much love. And like, I doubt. I mean, at some point she's, you know, she's going to be like, what, what is all of this? Yeah, yeah. But like, it's. How does this whole work? Yeah. Who are these people?

Yeah. What? What? What are these gay people? So many gays. But I think it's, but I'm like, she has so, like, she has so much love. And she has, like, in that mix, she has, there's like a bunch of dads in that, in that family. Yeah, yeah.

So I'm like, it'll, we were, we were in, we were on a flight going somewhere. We were on vacation. And, you know, just like when they're five, six years old, they say things and you're just like, Jesus Christ. Why in public? And we were about to take off. And then she just looks around and she goes. goes, but why don't I have a dad? And we were like, oh, my God, please do not do this now.

And I'm sitting behind her. And so it's like, so Sam just has to deal with it. And then she turns around and she just looks at me and she goes, you will be the dad. And I was like, okay. Okay. I'm like, okay, I guess because I have like four inches on my wife. I'm the dad. Yeah, but she came out of you.

So unless you're a seahorse, you can't be the dad. Right. This is what's not fair about me being the dad. I'm just like, I also when we go to events with parents, I'm always in the dad group. And I'm like, I don't know anything about real estate. I shouldn't be over here. Like this is what they're talking about. Why are you in the, just because you're taller?

I think it's because I'm taller. I don't know. I love the way that like just about how you guys were going to. Like the plan was you would have the first one and she would have the second. second one. Uh-huh. But what happened is I had the first one and she saw that. And that is true.

Yeah. She saw me give birth and she was like, I'm out. And that's like the flaw in the lesbian system. But it is, it is so true. I'm like, are you sure you don't have another kid? And she's like, no, I remember. I remember being the witness to that. Yeah, yeah.

That's why when guys are like, oh, if I could have the baby, I would. And I'm just like, no, you fucking want it. You saw what goes on. Nobody in the right mind should look at it. that and be like, I want to do that. Well, you don't go. I mean, I mean, I could, I can see like, yeah, nobody would want to do that, but that is how you get a kid.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, that's the one that always kills me is like, the men that are like, I don't want to see that as if like, oh, you'll, you're turning the playground into a factory and I can't handle it. Right. You know, when it's time to go back to a playground. And it's just like, grow the fuck up, man.

There's so, and there's not enough information out about like what happens after. Yeah. Because like I'm like, I'm fine and like things heal. You know what I mean? And like not to be graphic or whatever, but it's like I wear the same size tampons. Like everything is going to be fine. Everything is, you know. It just like it all, it all becomes what it was, you know.

Well, I think. Or a new thing. Men have just, I mean, I've heard men say it. It's just like somehow the visual of. the visual of it will like change it forever that you like you know I can't fuck the place a kid came out of and it's like well that's kind of the whole point yeah that's how it works like what the fuck you know I I don't know I mean men are very disappointed in many I've heard I heard this yeah disappointing but like I've heard I watch men like I'm Jane Goodall just like wow my God well would you ever consider having a having another kid again or was one enough for you. But like, you know, she was a COVID baby. So by the time we were out and we were traveling and I go on the road a lot.

And so it's like it feels like a lot to leave. And my wife is, you know, she's working too. So it's like it feels wrong to leave her with two when you're on the road. You know, and I don't want to bring babies on the road. I want them to be in the green room. I'm like, I don't want to put that on anybody. Yes. to watch them.

Staying in comedy condos. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

No, I would rather them just stay here. Yeah. My daughter loves L.A. She doesn't want to leave. Yeah. Anytime we go somewhere cold, she really just doesn't understand it. And she's just like, but why? Why do we have to go here?

I'm like, you have to see snow. Yes. Why? Why don't I have a daddy? Yeah. The two questions of life. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But, I mean, you know, it's, it all works. you know, having an only child. You know, like my, it, I have two older kids, and for my son is five years older than his sister. And that was because he was going to be an only child for the longest time, you know, and it was just. And you guys were okay with that?

Yeah, for a while. And then my ex-wife was like, I'd want to have another kid. And I'm, okay, you know. And so we had another kid, you know, because I'm not, I'm not going to be like, hey, come on, let me burden you with a burgeoning creature inside you for 10 months or whatever, you know. Yeah. Because it is more like 10 months than nine months. It is a lot.

And I don't like when I was pregnant, it didn't look right on me. You know, it didn't feel right. Yeah. And I never was like, you know, cupping like, you know, I wasn't doing that thing in the photos and stuff. I was just like, like, it's weird. Yeah. What is this thing? You have to walk weird.

for a long time. Yeah. Yeah. It's, I don't know. It kind of was gross for me. Like, it didn't fit with me.

Did you do all of like, like, were you well read when it came to, yeah. I didn't want to know anything. Yeah. I went into it and I was truly like, didn't understand the placenta thing. Yeah. And also I never.

I was so bad in school that I really was like, I don't want to know the biology of it. I just want to, I just want it to happen to me. And I mean, like, because my grandma used to be like, they basically used to knock us out. Yeah. And then we'd like wake up and we'd have a baby. And I was like, I fucking love that.

Yeah, yeah. And she was like, you know, basically like they're on meth or whatever. And I'm like, yeah. I was like, that's what I want. I was like, I treated my birth like Coachella. And I was like, give me all the drugs. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. My ex-wife was like a, she's a super student. So we had to go to all the fucking classes and everything. And then I ended up having a see. section, which I was like, all those goddamn classes, you know, natural childbirth and whatever. And then this, because we had one C-section, it was another C-section, both C-sections. But my wife, when she had our daughter, and I, you know, I wasn't there.

She was, and she was having her on her own. And one of the first, like when we were dating, because when I, we met on a hinge. We met on a dating service, and I knew she was a single mom. You know, I knew she was a single mom and had a little kid, and that was fine with me. Which, you know, and when we got serious, like, this is something, and something in dad jokes made me think about this is that, oh, it was something about you see a dad brushing hair. And it's like, he's the dad of the year. And whereas a mom has to brush hair four times a day. Right.

And when I, like, I started to tell people, you know, especially like when we got engaged, you know, especially like when we got engaged. And it's like, I'm engaged, I'm engaged to somebody who has a kid that's, you know, she's, you know, about she's two, a little over two years old. And they acted like it was such an act of heroism on my part. And I was like, I'm like, fuck it. I don't have to do really much of any. Like, I don't have to do much. You know, it's like I'm just. And in many ways, having another little kid got me off of like the most unsubed.

unpleasant chore of my entire life has been, what am I going to do with myself now? Yeah. You know, like knowing like what I'm supposed to do, where I'm supposed to be, what's my purpose. Like I've never been able to answer that question. And when you got a kid, it's like, oh, well, I don't have to worry. You know, we have fucking ice skating lessons. And then we're going to that birthday party. And then, you know, and then tomorrow she has a cold.

And so like your whole life is, your agenda is full of. of having a kid, you know? Right. Yeah. But when I met my wife, I was kind of, you know, I thought like, I had these prejudices, you know, that was like, oh, a woman in her 40s had a kid on her own. Oh, she might be nuts. You know, like, I just, because, you know, being out in the world and having experience with different types of people, you do get kind of like, whether they're fair or unfair,

you get sort of cliches, you know, they exist. And I was like, oh, no, she's like helicopter mom, all stressy and stuff. And like one of our first, one of the first times I was with her, I mean, it may have been like on her second date or something. And I was asking about her having a child. And I said, like, did you, did you do a lot of like reading and stuff? She goes like, I bought a couple of books and I skimmed them. Yeah.

But she was like, I just thought, you know, I'll figure it out. I was like, oh, my God, I love you. I know. I mean, there's obviously two ways to go about it. And I thought my wife would be the book reader. Yeah, yeah. And she was like, she read less than I did. And I was like, well, someone needs to know what's going to happen.

Yes, yes. But at the same time, like, you know, my mom, my sister's teen pregnancies, all of that. And we're just like kind of like, it just happens. Whatever happens is going to happen in there. Yeah, yeah. I watched a lot of, I tried to watch a lot of. live births on YouTube. And that was helpful.

Was it helpful? Yeah, because they were like, we're going to Cedars. And I was like, oh my God, okay, cool. That's where I'm going to go. So now seeing where they're going in and, you know, and they're lesbians. I'm like, okay, this is great. Okay, great. Yeah.

What's the food? Where are they bringing food lies? Yeah, where's the ice? What kind of ice is that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, of course, a traumatizing experience.

But our brains make us forget. And then we go, oh, I want to have another one. Yeah. No, absolutely. Yeah, no, that's life. You forget how, like, oh, yeah, this, this is really hard. Yeah. You know, when it comes around again.

With one, I'm like, yeah, I could still, I feel like I could still live my dreams with the one that I have right now. And I don't know. I feel like I would want to just be at home with a baby. Yeah. So right now, I'm like, I kind of want to be on the road. Yeah. Yeah. They do, like, kindergarten, as they get older, there is like more sort of, they'd be.

become less portable. You know, like you do. They have to go to school. Yeah, they have to go to school. I guess. You know, because I was always, you know, like if I had to go work somewhere for a while, I'd be like, yeah, just bring them. And yeah.

No, no, they have their life and you have to like respect the roots that they're putting down with friends and stuff. And I'm like, really? Come on. Can't say, yeah. Aren't they just basically, you know, a pet? Can't we just put a, put them in a sky kennel and throw them on a plane? They'll go under my seat.

It's fine. You are, first of all, thank you so much for doing this. Oh, my God, thanks for having me. It's great to have you. I feel like I got a lot of good, like, I stopped going to therapy because of my schedule and because my therapist was like a little too cool for me. But now I feel like I got a good therapy session out of today too. Yeah, that's very nice to hear.

I've got to talk about my daddy issues. Yeah, yeah. You should go back to therapy. No, no, no. I just go, I'll come here every six months and then I'll feel I'll be fine. You know, you find a better one. Let us show up. I've been, no, I mean, yeah, don't get a cool one.

You do have to find a good one. You just need a podcast host now. You don't need a therapist. Okay. Just go on different podcasts. That's what I'm doing. Yeah. It's my therapy tour.

Yeah. I can't wait until like Bert Kreischer gives you a session. Like, see what you're going to learn so much. So you give him away from a Bert Kreischer session. I come back here with no shirt on. You're like, okay. You are doing a multimedia stand-up show called Mulch 34 cartoons

because you're a cartoonist too. Yeah, yeah, I do cartoons and yeah, I have this new show cartoons and do jokes and stories as I show them. And is that something that's like going to be working towards, you know, getting onto a streamer? I was thinking about doing like a festival and like just seeing what, I don't even know.

I don't even know. When I do an hour, I just imagine it's not going to work its way on any streamer that I'm just going to sell it myself. Yeah, yeah. And so just try to make it for me. And so I'll just do the same thing with this. Because I don't know if actually it would look right on watching it on TV because it's multimedia. As a business model, does that work? Like, does that work for you?

I don't make any money. Yeah. But you don't lose money? Yeah, I try to break even. Yeah. And like I, when I do the other things I do in my life, like going on tour or like I'm in a writer's room right now. And so like I. Is that for the paper? The paper.

Yeah. And so I try to stay in the writer's room or do something that makes money so that I can take a portion of that and put it towards. Even if it's like doing live shows and like that chunk of like, you know, Midwest cities will pay for making my next docu special. Oh, cool. Yeah. And then hopefully I break even. I can pay people to do it. And your wife doesn't get impatient with the fact that you're- She loves it as long as I am not on the road doing like I've done like where I'm doing helium and there's 30 people in the audience and I'm leaving them and then also having a terrible time.

Yeah, as long as it's not that. Yeah. And that like I'm, you know, I'm spending the money but first I'm making it. Right. Right. Otherwise, no, there's been times where she's just like, are you, like, I've been in Boston at the comedy club in a hotel. And I'm like, I was like, people showed up with their backpacks and they got free tickets and they hated everything I said. You know, and I was like dressed as Larry Bird and they didn't like that. It's a whole thing on and they hated it. Well, that's nice that her take is, well, what the fuck are you doing there?

Yeah. Why are you wasting your time with that? Yes. Not, oh, honey. Right. That's so sad. I'm here for you. She's totally creative.

She's from a creative family. They're all TV writers. And so she comes at it through like, oh, my God, that's so sweet. This poor girl from a ditch, like, is doing comedy and, like, trying to live her dreams. From a ditch. Yeah. Well, and your most recent special, Mo Welch, Hollywood Forever, it's available to watch on YouTube now. And was filmed at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.

Yeah. Yeah. That's, we got some cartoons at the end if you stick around to the end. Nice. Yeah. And you established a couple of places that you cemetery was your playground as a child. Yeah, I felt at home. Did you just live near one?

Is that why? I lived right down the street. And then when I was in first grade, we lived across the street. And my mom was always like, it's so quiet. Like nobody's going to take you in a cemetery because the 80s and 90s, like everyone was taking people. And she was like, no one's going to take you in there. And she was right. No one expects kids to be running around in the cemetery.

But guess what? We lost God, Mom. Like, we realized how God is not real in a cemetery. So a lot of it. Sorry to bring it down to that. Yeah, yeah. Maybe the risk of the playground would have been worth it because we would have still believed in God. Okay.

Just because of the cemetery? How did that? Yeah, I was like. What was the childhood math of that? I was like, this girl's 16 and she was awesome. And I was like, there's no way. Yeah, yeah. And then I was like, I'm not going to, one day I'm like, I'm not going to church during confirmation.

And she was like, all right. My thought, because there's a, what we're talking about is there's a, you go back to the cemetery that you hung out with as a kid. And there was a gravestone. Yeah. And you chose to honor this girl that had died when she was 16. Right. And she was a triple, a three sport athlete. Yeah.

Yeah. And she was like, I just always visited her. And I couldn't believe she was on my mom's bus route. My mom was a bus driver. And she was on the bus. And I don't even, she died in a car accident. But I just thought to myself like, oh, my God, this is not. Yeah, yeah.

It's like something that I've been taught is, you know, it's my belief. Do you think that the proto lesbian in you saw the three sports and was like, I relate to that? Yeah. Yeah. I was like, well, it was the coolest tombstone in the cemetery. Yeah. And at Hollywood Forever, I was talking about this at Largo, and there's this bench that's a tombstone that has like 11 dachshunds on it, like metal.

And I was like, this is the most incredible tombstone I've seen because, you know, somebody can come and they can sit there and you could just tell that this person's a dog lover. Yeah. And then so I looked up the guy. I was like, who the fuck is this guy, legend? and he's still alive. He just pre-ordered and made his tombstone. And it's just at Hollywood Forever.

But when I was doing it at Largo, Fred Armisen was on after me. And he informed us that he has purchased a tombstone in Hollywood Forever as well. And I was like, oh, so that's like a thing. You can just like get it ahead of time so no one has to plan. Hollywood Forever is full of the craziest tombstones in the world. Yeah. It is, if you come to L.A., just stroll around Hollywood forever because you get like just, they're like these, you know, etched photo things of like guys that died in car accidents, you know, and like.

Yeah. And it's the car accident. Yeah. It's gruesome. Well, but it's just, there's some really good ones. Yeah. There's some really, really good ones in there. Yeah.

Well, Mo, thank you so much for coming. Thank you for having. But I don't remember. It doesn't matter. We've talked long enough. You've got to go back to work. Thank you for having me. No, I'm not going to work today.

Yeah, fuck those guys. Well, anyway, everybody check out Mo Welch, Hollywood forever. And I'll be back next week with more of this. It won't be nearly as good, but it'll be like this. It won't have as many talks about maybe not as much dad talk. Not as much dad talk. There will not be as much healing. Yeah.

It won't be a journey like this was. You got to get a fully formed person. Good luck finding one of those that'll be on a podcast. All right, bye. The three questions with Andy Richter is a team cocoa production. It is produced by Sean Doherty and engineered by Rich Garcia. Additional engineering support by Eduardo Perez and Joanna Samuel. Executive produced by Nick Leow, Adam Sacks, and Jeff Ross.

talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, with assistance from Maddie Ogden. Research by Alyssa Graal. Don't forget to rate and review and subscribe to the three questions with Andy Richter wherever you get your podcasts. And do you have a favorite question you always like to ask people? Let us know in the review section. Can't you tell my loves to grow and date it's you and oh, you must be a dog. This has been a team Coco production.