The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Paula Poundstone

Episode Date: April 28, 2020

Comedian Paula Poundstone talks with Andy Richter about learning not to “look for peaches in a hardware store”, the joys and pitfalls of working in a nursing home, and working on a pilot with Debbie Reynolds. Check out Paula’s podcast Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone here.

Oh my gosh, that reminds me of when I was skydiving. I used to take skydiving lessons and, you know, it's never very good. But on the other hand, here I am. You don't have to be that good. You're just falling out of a plane. No, there's a little bit of skill to it. All right. All right. But so.

All right. So I had gone. I'd gone a few times and I did the kind of training where you don't have to. I did the kind of training where you pull your own rip um i did the kind of training where you pull your own ripcord from the first yeah right it's not tandem you know you so you do a little bit of extra training so that your first dive you pull your own ripcord and you do free fall for a few seconds anyways um unattended uh so you jump out of the plane you have an instructor on both sides of you, and they hold you until you're stabilized. And then you indicate to them basically with a sign that you know what you're doing.

And they fall away. And then you free fall for a few seconds on your own. And then you pull the ripcord. And so I jump out. So I don't know. We had like a few dives maybe. And then, or jumps or whatever you call it. See, I wasn't at it all that long.

I don't even know the language. But so we're going up in the airplane one time. And one of the instructors has a new jumpsuit. Usually you wear a thing that's sort of a big flappy, like it looks like a prison outfit. Yeah, yeah. Like a jumpsuit. Right. But he had one, he had bought one for himself that wasn't provided by the facility. And it had, it was tight. It was like spandex. It was tight to his body. And we kind of made some jokes about

it on the way up in the plane. And now we jump out of the plane and maybe it was my first one. Actually, it was my first one. So we jump out of the plane and within a split second, I am flipping in the air, just just sideways, going over sideways. I don't know what that word would be, but over and over and over, just rolling through the air. And I go every time I rolled, an instructor would land on top of me hard. And then I'd flip again and another guy would land on top of me hard. And it happened for a few seconds. And then what my perception was, was that one of the instructors fell off. And then finally I looked at the other guy and I did my signal saying, yeah, I got this, but I didn't. And he let me go.

And now I'm just falling through the air. And I'm like, well, now I've gone and done it. Just I lied. I didn't know what I was doing. I told him I did. And now that's that. Here's my punishment. Yeah.

I didn't want to be a bother. Exactly. Because, you know, I'm selfless, you know. And then in a few, like, again, another, this all happened very quickly in another, like, microsecond, my parachute comes out. I had not pulled, I had not pulled the ripcord. had not pulled the ripcord. And when I got to the ground, everything that happened was explained to me. And the first thing that was explained to me is, no, I didn't pull the ripcord. The guy said, no, I saw the look on your face. He said, I knew you had no idea what you were doing. So he pulled it for me before he left. But there was a few seconds of what they call pilot shoot hesitation. And so the shoot didn't come out right away. And that was like when my assistant pushed the recording button before he left the room.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he knew. So you see. He knew. Yeah. So you see that the story is germane. Yes. You have.

Yes, it is. Albeit lengthy. Right. But it was germane. And the reason that we flipped through the air like that was that me and the one instructor who held me longer had the same kind of suits. And the other guy's suit was tighter to his body. So he fell at a faster rate and it caused us to flip. Oh, I see. I see. How about that?

And when the one guy figured it out because obviously none of us figured it out on the way up in the plane um but when the one guy figured it out he yelled at the other guy to let go let go my perception was he yelled at him and the guy fell and he said fuck you i'm out of here yeah exactly he quit he quit while we were going down in that that's why the unions for skydiving. That's right. He hadn't paid his dues. That's exactly right.

When I first moved out here, I lived right around the village of Pacific Palisades. And they had a 4th of July celebration in which skydivers dropped down right onto Sunset Boulevard. Wow. And they were right above us. And I've never had that. You know, you see people fall out of planes and it looks like they're floating and flying and everything. You know, the perspective of up there is like, you know, oh, they're just floating around

there somehow. But when you're straight underneath them and they're just floating around there somehow but when you're straight underneath them and they jump out of the plane you see you just fall like a rock you come pretty fast yeah it was just like the the the the the rate at which they grew sort of in our vision was really like shocking like holy shit You just drop like a rock. I've never seen someone come down like that. Um, yeah, I, I, I wish I could remember the rate of fall that we had and the, you know, it, it, you know, you never see a fat skydiver because, um, it's really, uh, a sport in that while you're falling, although you're supposed to be relaxed, but I was not ever.

You're supposed to relax. And so your pelvis is your center of gravity and that's supposed to and everything else you're supposed to let, you know, be pushed back by the wind, by the rate of your fall. The only number I can remember anymore is that I jumped at 12,500 feet. Yeah. pushed back by the, by the wind, you know, by the rate of your fall. What I, the only number I can remember anymore is that I jumped at 12,500 feet. Yeah. How many times, how many times did you do it? Oh, I did 12, 12 dives. I learned to do a layout back flip. I learned to dock. I had a great, I had a great moment with this, with the spandex guy.

Cause after a couple of dives, I, then I just, I had just one instructor and he didn't hold me at all. We just went out separately. But we were, he was teaching me his tricks one time in the, in the air, you know, where we were practicing the tricks in the air and we docked face forward. We came to one another and docked and, and he kissed me and which i guess now would be considered like some sort of me tooy thing it was it didn't feel that way to me in any way it just felt well honestly i guess it didn't feel much because here's the thing so when you get to

the ground your instructor debriefs you he says what do you remember? And you tell him, you know, well, I jumped out of the plane and then I did this trick and I did that trick and I did this, right? You just tell them. And this way here, they know that your brain is functioning. You're not like spazzing out in the air. So we get to the ground. He says, what do you remember? And I tell him all these things. He goes, anything else? No, we docked. And then I did the flip and then I did this. And then I turned, I did a 360. I did this. Anything else? No. And then I did the flip. And then I did this. And then I turned. I did a 360. I did this. Anything else?

No. And then I could tell he was after something. And then he looks at me and he goes, well, I kissed you twice. I said, I am so sorry. Of course you did. Yes. Oh, right. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. It was very sweet, but apparently not impactful enough that I could remember it. Yeah. Well, I mean, there was a lot else. There was a lot of other stuff going on. There's a lot of stuff going on. For one thing, I had taken some of the cookies and snacks from the flight attendant with me on the way down. Just in case. On the way down, you got hungry. I love those biscotti cookies from, you know, Delta.

Oh, I know. They're fantastic. For me, it's the only reason to go Delta is just, you know, they'll be like, you know, we're going to circle. We're not going to land. We're going to land in France instead of Indianapolis. And I'm like, do you have more cookies? Yeah, just keep the cookies.

Doesn't matter. You just got to get those. I love those cookies. Well, you know, people probably figured out that I'm talking to Paula Poundstone. Hey, Andy. Hi. Nice talking to you. Good talking to you.

You're coming from your home in Santa Monica? I'm in Santa Monica, California. Yeah. I'm here in Burbank through the wonder of technology. Neither one of us had to leave our homes. I'm in my bedroom. Yeah. Yeah. I was noticing. I love your Venetian blinds. There's a word for those. Thank you. Plantation shutters is what they're called. Oh, is that what they are I rent this house I just moved in here

in February but yeah they have those shutters all over the place which is it's not something I would have chosen but I actually ended up liking them a lot you know and I'm sure you're discovering this during the stay at home which is

you know you gotta get in there with a feather duster. This is not a mess. They're a mess. Yeah, they are. They do get dusty, but they're not. I have the metal ones because I rent this house, too. I would never put those in anywhere. Yeah.

But, you know, that's a just, you know, like I made at the beginning of this stay at home, I made the commitment to myself that I would wipe those down. Yeah. That's like, you know, I'm going to have to have the stay at home order extended. Yes. Because you haven't done it yet. No, I haven't done it yet. And it takes so long to do it. It's a, it's a tremendous amount of work. And you say to yourself, wouldn't it be better just to board up that window?

Yeah. No, it's the sort of thing. Yeah, no, it's like it's worth paying someone to do that kind of thing. Oh, absolutely. But yours are at least attractive. I mean, mine are just, yeah, it's lovely. You have a lovely room. Thank you.

Now, what's on the pictures behind you? There's a picture. Those are Rock'em Sock'em Robots. It's like a painting by a guy named Eric Joyner of Rock'em Sock'em Robots. But it's like sort of, you know, it's a complicated. I'm all wired in so I can't I love Rock'em Sock'em Robots. I love

It's kind of in the look of an old prize fight you know from the 40s and in the audience it's all toy robots. Oh that's great. And then what else is over there?

Oh, there's a painting of a – I think it's a photo, but like a hand-painted photo of an old topless club in New York that we used to live down the street from called Billy's Topless. Oh, nice. down the street from called Billy's Topless. Oh, nice. That was sort of like just a neighborhood bar with women in their underwear doing Tai Chi against one wall. It was, but it was, it was very much, you know,

but there as many people playing pinball as there were watching the, watching the dancers. So, you know, that was in the old days when, when it was easy to get a job. Yep, I know. Now they have such high standards. Honestly, now you have to know how to work a computer

in order to dance naked. That's right, exactly. Because otherwise, who's going to see you? And that's where a well-decorated home or a bedroom comes in handy. If you're going to do that from home. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. No, you could you right now, Andy, could make a lot of money dancing naked in that well decorated bedroom. Oh, boy. It's really lovely. Whereas, you know, where's where my shake would be a problem. What am I going to do in front of in front of a whole collection of Hercule Poirot's?

It's not going to be remotely salacious. Yeah, in front of Shoah, involving your Shoah VHSs. Yeah, over here I have a whole collection of the Waltons. You don't see that oh boy richard richard richard thomas doesn't have that excuse me um so how are you uh how are you uh quarantining are you are there a number of people in your home with you or uh well of course i'm not quarantined i'm under the stay-at-home order oh okay yeah you know whatever you know what i mean you know people panic and they say we're on a lockdown like my

son lives in richmond virginia and he we talked on the phone uh and maybe this was maybe two weeks ago now i've lost track of time yeah um the poor guy was you know he had it was like it was like he'd gotten some bad drugs but he but what he had gotten was he'd gotten some bad social media uh-huh which is the same thing as getting some bad drugs like he was having a freak out because he said that he saw on social media people that they sent a national guard into chicago which they may or may not have that but that they were dragging people out of their homes i'm like no honey they're trying to stuff them back into their homes yeah why would they be doing that so you're watching something in reverse sweetheart but the poor guy was so panicked and he was like well

you're locked out so i looked up what the rules were in Virginia. And of course, it was nothing like that at all. But yeah, there's no I don't think anywhere in this country yet. What we're on is a stay at home. And even the word order, I think, is a little bit strong. Yeah, because we're hard to order around. Right. Well, yeah. Yeah. No. This country, no one will be told what to do like that's i can't even imagine like you know the notion of being at war like living in a country at war i don't know how we would do that because yes no we we wouldn't be good at it people would still be going to the mall and stuff yeah exactly and other countries know that which is why they don't

ever attack us uh in a traditional military sense and correct anyways and the other thing is you don't have to because we're such lunkheads that all you have to do like is just attack our social media that's all you gotta do just screw up screw up our twitter we're like oh jesus oh no yeah i can't get my amazon deliveries we can't wait we can't function yeah uh yeah so so yeah so we're on the so i'm gonna stay at home and uh i go out and i walk my dogs uh um you know just once a day they don't i'm not walking a mother once a day that's right right come on but uh you know, it's funny here in Santa Monica, there's a lot of dogs. And the good news is a lot of responsible dog owners. And so always, you know, I kind of like watch what time of day I walk, because every everybody with a dog knows this problem, which is that if we walk, if my dogs see another dog, they have to do this big stupid thing

of pulling me and jumping on their hind legs. Like they've never seen it. It's like they're it's to pain in the ass. So always, you know, other people walking their dogs, we kind of have developed over the years, kind of a high sign, you know, you sort of point with your finger indicating I'll cross, you know, so there of point with your finger indicating I'll cross, you know, right. So there's that. So there's dog avoidance to begin with. You're already socially distancing because the dogs are assholes. That's exactly right. Right. And then add to it. Now more people are out walking there. They're walking with their children. Their kids are on the wheelie thingies and stuff. And so now there's literally, um,

many times a day, there's four lanes of pedestrian traffic. There's one on each sidewalk, a lane, and then people just move into the street. And so there's two lanes on the street of people walking, all trying to, you know, get, it's like some so and you have to keep if you see somebody coming your direction then you have to move into the other it's like a giant human dog puzzle yeah yeah um but there we are you know are your dogs are your dogs little at least no no they're big dogs oh boy i like a big dog how many of them them? I got two big dogs. Yeah, yeah. I got a German Shepherd mix. I don't really know what he's mixed with. Maybe Golden Retriever, maybe.

Yeah. And then I have a Golden Retriever that's a mix with Newfoundland. Oh, wow. She's big. But you know what? She's the only mean Golden Retriever in the world. I don't know how I managed. Wow.

I didn't do anything. I got her when she was a puppy. She's been treated nothing but lovingly. And she, boy, if she didn't like something, she will let you know. That's hilarious. Yeah. I have, I have a, I got a dog in August. Cause I, I got. I thought you were going to say, I got a dog in NAMM.

No, no, no. I thought you were going to tell me there was a dramatic location where you got the dog. Fairfax Avenue. Oh, yeah. Wow. I braved Fairfax. In August. Yes, in August.

You were at Cantor's. It was actually just down the street from Cantor's. But no, I got a dog in August and she was fifty four pounds then. And they told me that she was about a year and a half old. And I said, OK, she's she's sort of they call her a border collie mix because she's colored like a border collie. But obviously the other things in there and and then she just would not stop growing and i got her yesterday i took her to get groomed at petco because mainly because she needed her nails trimmed and i won't do it i'm too scared to do it myself um and i took her to get her groomed And part of the process is they weigh her the first time she's been weighed and she's 86 pounds now. She put on 32 pounds since August.

And she's not, you know, that's just how much she's grown. And so it's like, I have a pony now. You know, I just wanted- That's a big dog. I wanted just a dog. And now I have this, she's a sweetheart and I love her, but she's also kind of an oaf and knocks things over.

And, you know, and it's like, and it's her paws, you know, like for her to go out in the yard when it's wet. It's just like, there's no point in worrying about like the house being nice or clean or furniture or, you know, like it put down a bath mat and, you know, like, oh, there's going to be muddy dog prints on that in about 30 seconds and there's yeah i don't bother with that either yeah i just you know what it's it's it's uh it's just part of having a part of having a dog i want you know when you're saying that i wonder if parents are are like that you know you have a baby and the baby just you know i got it it was jesus it was four pounds yeah so little two ounces and and and just the thing just kept growing yeah and uh you know well you have a handle on that you at least know you know this is a human this is a human baby and it was born now and this should be sort of like you know this is sort of the normal pattern but like with her i don't know you know i don't know she might have

been i she might gain another 20 pounds for all i know you know she might just keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger and all that you know and i can get a little saddle for or have her pull carts around the neighborhood this is like a marvel movie you know this is like when uh peter what's his name and spider-man goes to peter parker goes to uh you know, his chemistry teacher, you know, what is this? I have here. Yeah. Yeah. You've got to take you got to take that to your chemistry teacher or your biology teacher.

I guess you got to figure out what the hell that is, because you might have because this would fit right into the the world story right now. Right. the world story right now, which is not only is there a pandemic, but Andy Richter is raising a part border collie, part Godzilla that one day just comes through the wall. Just one day breaks those, those plantation shutters, tears right through the wall and goes around breaking into people's homes and killing them. That's what's going to happen.

Because they smell good. Yeah, exactly. But I don't think they smell good anymore. I know of some people that aren't bathing during the pandemic. Oh, boy. Tell me about it. I just want to say. A lot of people feel that since they're presenting publicly, that they needn't groom.

I can tell you, I have saved so much deodorant. Like, why would I put this on? Why waste it? I'm going to save this for, you know, my salad days when we come out the other end of this thing. And then I'm going to be shoving my pits in everyone's faces. So, well, this podcast is... It's so important to have something to look forward to i know i know and i think shoving my pits in everyone's faces that's my kids and i were talking well they're all young adults now but uh nonetheless we were talking about how we were going to go to disneyland again

oh yeah when it was all over with but this shoving your pits in people's faces that might trump disneyland when it was all over with. But this shoving your pits in people's faces, that might trump Disneyland. I guess you could do both in small world. And it's just like, you should be thanking me that this were two weeks ago. This would be awful. And now it's pleasant. Well, this podcast is meant to be sort of,

you know, it's autobiographical or biographical, I guess. So, but I know you were raised in Massachusetts, right? Is that right? I was born in Alabama. I was born in Huntsville, Alabama, and I was raised in Massachusetts because I'm lucky. Yeah. Massachusetts is a great state. It's just a beautiful, beautiful place.

It is. And yeah, it really is. And so, you know, and then. Was somebody in school in Huntsville? Why Huntsville? It's where my family lived. Oh, okay. And they gave birth to me there.

And my father, actually, on the night that I was born, my parents are Southerners. Well, my mother's a Southerner. My father's from West Virginia. But on the night that I was born, my father was in Massachusetts getting his job. Oh. In Sudbury, where I was raised. Oh, wow. And what was that job?

Oh, he was an electrical engineer. Oh, okay. I still don't really know what he did. Yeah, yeah. You know, I never really understood the job. You know, my kids don't. Well, they know. I mean, mine's a little more simple but they don't

give a shit i think that i think to have a healthy disinterest in your parents personal lives is healthy yeah you know yeah yeah and i i asked him once when i was like i was living in boston at the time and he was i had visited my' house and he was driving me to the train station to go back into Boston. And then I think he was on his way to a meeting of some sort. And it was, I must've been 18 maybe. And I said to him, maybe 19, I said to him for the first time I ever had, I decided that I was sort of drilled down on what his job was.

And I said, dad, so what is it you do exactly? And he said, well, honey, today I'm going to a meeting. And I said, OK, you know, maybe elaborate a little bit. I said, what, you know, what is the meeting about? And he said, well, it's a meeting to explain to someone at the meeting why they can't go to another meeting. And I said, I i said thank you it's it was like the moment where you know you get glasses for the first time you're like oh yeah after that it was clear as a bell yeah yeah yeah you don't need to ask anything more that's no he's a communicator my father was a communicator

you know did you get along with your parents pretty well? I mean, have they passed away? Oh, no, they're alive as far as I know. Oh, as far as you know. Okay. Yeah. You haven't checked today. No, I haven't checked today.

I'll tell you, the thing about my parents, and I believe this to be true in many, many relationships, but I learned it with my family, which is, I think they're nice people. And I think that they are very, very well intended. I think what always happened in our relationship was that I was looking for peaches in a hardware store. So I would go in and I would say, where do you, you know, they'd say, welcome to, you know, Ace Hardware. Abishans is what we had. And so, you know,

and I would say, where do you keep your peaches? And they were fantastic hardware store owners. But I would say, where do you keep your peaches? And they would just be mystified. Yeah, yeah. We don't have peaches. And I would go back over and over again, doing the same thing feeling for, and it took me years to figure out that

they weren't keeping the peaches from me. Yeah. They simply didn't have them to offer. Yeah. Yeah. And so, and it was not, it wasn't a machination. It wasn't intentional. It was, they were just as innocent as they could be. So, yeah. Yeah. A lot of relationships are like that. Peaches in a hardware store. And I think we all assume that it comes from some bad place. But it doesn't really.

And so when you ask them, you know, this sort of mystified look on their face, even asking my father what he did for a living, he thought that was a very satisfying explanation. Yeah. He really felt that we had a moment. Yeah so there wasn't a lot a sense of irony he was he was uh free of that i think if we were to reflect on what he said he would kind of chuckle and go well yeah that wasn't very but i think it was a sincere answer on his part yeah you know i think i don't know who knows how many kids were there there were four wow and what and where do you where do you fall uh once they had me they got it right uh i'm the youngest oh the youngest yeah yeah yeah yeah so i'm i'm the one where they were kind of tired of doing a lot of it. Yeah. You know, by your teenage years, when you're the youngest,

your parents are really just like, you know, just sort of tired of doing it. Yeah, yeah. You know, they're like, how many, every day my mother's looking at her watch, how old are you? Yeah. Jesus, this thing must have stopped. It's running awfully slow.

Shouldn't you be moving out yet? Yeah, exactly. Surely you'll be 18 soon, won't you, honey? Well, at least, though, when they have sort of, they've gotten the system down, at least. You know, they're not figuring stuff out with you. You know what I mean? I always think that that, and from being a parent myself,

like the first kid is the one that you figure everything out with, you know, that you like, because they're the first one that you do all of the things. They're the first teenager and the first, you know, kindergartner. And, you know, they they're like the first one when they turn from a baby into being kind of a jerk, you know? into being kind of a jerk, you know? Well, maybe it's your third kid then that you realize you didn't figure everything out with your first kid because they're so, you know, they are so different. Yeah. You know, I mean, I don't know.

Lord knows I have no great track record. But, yeah, just just i don't know well i am kind of you know just yeah the the stuff i i could never get over when i was raising my children that there was ever an argument uh about um nature versus nurture yeah i'm like you know nature kicks nurture's ass so bad yeah yeah there is no it would be like you know the dodgers playing a little league team yeah you know there is no there's no comparison yeah between you know my kids were just born into the world who they were. I agree. I agree. And I tried to, with various levels of success, to water the positives and prune the negatives.

Yeah, yeah. and prune the negatives. Yeah, yeah. I feel like, yeah, they are who they are. And I just want to kind of make them polite. You know, like I just want to make them, you know, like presentable to other people. And so that they think about other people, you know.

But then, you know, as far as like what they want to do with their lives that's not my business that's you know it's like you know my ex-wife used to get frustrated with me about you know parent teacher kind of things because i always was kind of like why do i need to know what kind of math they're learning isn't that really between the teacher and them isn't that their business the teacher isn't asking me what i'm doing at work why should i be finding out what she's doing at work it's her business you know i would go into those parent teacher meetings with such trepidation well i had two problems one is i talk a lot and i do tend to and i do tend to talk about myself and and and the parent teacher meetings were like 20 minutes you you know, 20-minute parent-teacher conference in Santa Monica.

And, you know, Jesus, I wouldn't bring up my daughter until like the last two. Yeah, I know. You're just getting started. Yeah, exactly. She's like, oh, well, you know, Pedro's parents are waiting to come in. I'm like, oh, Jesus. I said, you know what? Pedro's fine.

I volunteer in the classroom.ro's fine let's talk some more about my kid uh was it a funny household your household when you're growing up i mean was it you know was there a priority put on being funny i think there was uh you know you know i think that nature gives us a sense of humor as a survival technique. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, certainly I always enjoyed the response of laughter. And so I did.

I coveted it. And, you know, given, you know, given a choice between success and being funny, I'd go with being funny any day. You know, it's much more important to me than anything else. It's going to, yeah, no, I always, you know, it's a very grim way to think, but I think like what's going to matter in the nursing home? Like it, like is is you know i had to tell early on in doing the late night show with conan i had to say early on i was

like you know meeting david hasselhoff 12 times is not going to keep you warm when you're when you're in that nursing home bed like that's not going to matter. There's, like, having kids that can stand you, like, that's probably going to matter more. Yeah, you know, I volunteered until the pandemic. I've been volunteering in a nursing home for three years. Oh, really? Yeah, and I got to say, part of the joy of it is if I make any, I work in the,

worked in the, um, activities room. I always say to people, don't let that word activity fool you. Um, but, uh, you know, I'll tell you something. So it's very much like when I first decided to go do this, I, I thought, well, I'll be reading aloud. I decided to do it at all because for a totally selfish reason, which is I was writing a book. And my book is a series of experiments doing things that I or other people thought would make me happy. And the book is called The Totally Unscientific Study of the Search for

Human Happiness. And every chapter is an experiment and written as an experiment with the hypothesis and the conditions and the variables and the field notes, et cetera. And it's still, it's, it's not out yet. It's, it's still being. Oh, no. Oh, okay. Yeah.

It's been out for a couple of years. Okay. And hence I've been at that nursing home for three years. Now, most of the experiments, for example, the get fit experiment is the first one. Uh, for example, the get fit experiment is the first one. And, um, and I found a place to go work out, uh, a trainer guy, he teaches Taekwondo and self-defense. I have no passion whatsoever for Taekwondo or self-defense. It was the closest workout place to my house.

I wanted to get fit, but I didn't want to have to walk that far to do it. So the way I did it was I booked as many, you know, classes with this guy, not more than one a day, but as many as my schedule would allow. There were some weeks where that meant I went, you know, five times and there were some weeks where that meant I went once. It just depended. And, you know, and I began and they were grueling workouts, just grueling. And I did this. I would go to a workout and then I would come home. I would take a notebook. I would take notes. The analysis part of each chapter was where I checked in on my regular life because I feel that's how you measure happiness. Right. You're certainly not happy while you're working out. Trust me. But so so I would come home, I would sit in a chair and take notes both on what my regular life was looking like and on, you know, the on the workout itself. And after

after seven months, I banged that into a chapter. And at the end of seven months, and I just waited until I thought I have what I need here. At the end of seven months, I stopped working out and I went on to, I don't even recall what the next one was, but there were several. Volunteering at the nursing home was part of a chapter called Get Up and Help about just, you know, volunteering. I think we all have heard that if we, you know, make ourselves of service in some way, you feel better. Yeah. And so that was and so but I didn't quit there because after three months, I had absolutely what I needed to write this chapter. And I did. But I just felt like such an asshole saying, got what I need. Yeah. Yeah. See you later. Thanks, oldies. Bye. Right. Exactly. Yeah. Hope you make it. But when I but when I first went there, what I thought I would do is read to everybody.

Like, I would go in. I would choose. You know, we'd read a few pages. I would read to everybody. But you get there and you realize, okay, it's like a one-room schoolhouse. Yeah. Cognitively, people are in way different circumstances. There is no one thing that you could do that would,

other than music, I would say. Music is amazing. But so that's not what I do. But one of the things that I made note of over time was, you know, they had, you know, they would have like people from the state come make sure they were doing the right stuff and stuff like that. And there was always sort of little pop inspections and things and as it should be.

But my boss used to take this free Santa Monica newspaper and they'd have a stack of them every day. Whereas the L.A. Times, they had like one and it got passed around. But this Santa Monica newspaper, there was no end of it. You couldn't get rid of it. They had stacks of it and she would just put it in front of people. And in fairness to her, it was people that you couldn't you couldn't entertain with anything. There was nothing. But she wanted it to look like they were reading the Santa Monica newspaper. If somebody from the state came in and I used to say to her, I go, you know what?

No one cares what happens in Santa Monica. It's just not a it's not a believable ruse. You know, just you can tell if someone has that paper shoved in front of them, it means that, you know, they're not there. They are no longer cognizant that there are other people in there. Yes. It's not because they want to know who's starring in the high school production of Annie. Yes. Yes.

Yes. And how Sam Ojai's, you know, swim team is doing. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. There's no one old person that wheels themselves in from their bedroom with a desperation to know how the Sam Ohai cheerleading squad is doing. Did that one girl recover?

The girl who took the elbow in the cheek, how is she now? I used to live in Hancock Park in the Larchmont area it's a fancy part ladies and gentlemen it's like a little shopping street and it has been for many many years now it's kind of become

more boutique-y and shit like that fancy coffee shops whereas i mean when i there was still a hardware store and there was still like a mom and pop diner when i when i first moved in the neighborhood but the name the paper there is the larchmont chronicle which which was really the best part about that was that uh. Blackwell lived in the neighborhood. Oh, gosh. He wrote a column specifically for the Larchmont Chronicle just about, you know, who he saw that eating at the Greek restaurant. And it was like you would it would be like, you know, saw Shirley Smith and her husband, Bob, the other day. They'd just gotten back from St. Martin.

You know, it's just like, it was just a whole column of, what? Who? Mr. Blackwell. You know what? I've got to get my hands on that paper for the nursing home.

Yeah, Larchmont Chronicle. I feel so bad that I'm not able to go anymore because obviously they can't have volunteers under the circumstances, but I would love to be able to make that one final donation. A subscription. Yeah, because a lot of the people, particularly the people that are like borderline dementia, I just want to know where Bob Smith is vacationing.

Yeah, I have an aunt and uncle that are in assisted living here locally, and my aunt has dementia. So I have had quite a fair amount of experience of being in an assisted living home for a few years now and it is it is you are right there where it's like even within the dementia patients the range of ability and the range of cognition is so great you know that you yeah you go you know and somebody's sort of one way one day and then well i mean probably because i used to go two mornings a week and uh i don't know. Everybody has peaks and valleys, I think. Yeah, yeah. Well, mornings are the best bet because of that sundowners. And it is true.

Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, there's this thing called sundowners. And when the sun starts to go down, they get cranky and scared and weird and anxious. Oh, wow, because I'm a little bit like that, too. Yeah, yeah. weird and anxious and aggressive. Oh, wow, because I'm a little bit like that, too. Yeah, yeah. It's some kind of, I don't know whether it's like some kind of preternatural fear that,

you know, now that it's going to be dark, I'm going to get eaten by something or what. But it's, you know, it's, it's, it's, it, I certainly see it in my aunt. And it made it, it made it because a couple of times when I went in the evening, I thought, you know, I think I'm going to stick to morning visits. Because this is not, she's not at her best. There's a lady, I tell this in my book, which is, so there was a woman in there, very old. I mean, she was, you know, a hundred and fuck, I think. And she was, she was really beautiful.

And, and sometimes I felt like I had a real connection with her once we'd spent a little bit of time together, but that may have been my imagination. But anyways, she, when I would see her, she would,

and I, I had a dog with me. Usually I brought one or one or the other of my dogs. And she would stare at me like just puzzled for a long time. And she would say, are you Dorothy? And I would go, no, it's me, Paula. Remember I was here the other day and we did the jigsaw puzzle. It's me, Paula.

And she would just stare and stare. And you could tell it was just throwing her she couldn't figure it out so one one day my boss there says to me paula just tell her you're dorothy just go along with whatever she says and so again i go and she stares at me real funny and she says are you dorothy and i go yeah yeah it's me, Dorothy. She goes, fuck you. And she says, cut that fucking dog's tail off. Wow. Yeah, apparently she's been looking for Dorothy for years. She's had like a vendetta towards Dorothy.

And I stumbled innocently into just trying to serve yeah yeah yeah she has an axe to grind with the dog's tail oh yeah yeah cut that fucking dog's tail off and then uh so the next time i went back she's like are you dorothy no i am not i said no no i saw Dorothy she was running out the back door you don't have to worry about Dorothy anymore uh the last time uh that my my for various reasons my aunt and uncle had to move from one place to the other and I do all the leg I did all the leg work of finding them when they moved to the first place when they you know they they stopped living on their own and went to the first, I did all the legwork of finding them when they moved to the first place, when they, you know, they, they stopped living on their own and went to the first place. I looked at all over

the place for different places for them. And when they had to make this move, I looked at a few different ones and I was on a tour of one of them. Cause you go and it's like, you know, it's like real estate. It's like, there's a, there's a broker that takes you around, you know, the way they would at like a timeshare or something. Yeah. And one of them that they didn't, they did not end up living there. They were, it was kind of up near Sunland, you know, like kind of over the hills of the valley into the next valley. And we, she was walking, we're walking through one of the main lobbies and there are just people sitting and staring. Like that's, there's like a lot of people and that's just what, you know, it's not, there's not, it's not anyone's fault that they're sitting and staring because you could, you could have activities and they would sit and stare.

Right, exactly. and they would sit and stare right and she stopped in front of a woman that was sitting and staring and as if you know she didn't with no no concern whether she could really hear us or see us she's just she just stopped and pointed at her and went three-time emmy winner oh my gosh and then we walked and it was was just, and the woman, like, could have, she was completely, like, unaware that we were going by her or anything. But she just had to stop and go, three-time Emmy winner. Wow. It was so LA and so strange because I was like, is that supposed to make me think? Like, tell my aunt and uncle, they have a three-time Emmy winner.

Was it Julia Louis-Dreyfus? No, it was not julie she's i thought she was she's still pretty sharp i thought she was doing well oh this is the kind of stuff they don't tell you they sure don't this is like how they're not telling you about boris johnson and shit i oh my god so wait a minute so andy richter you are susan lucci you are telling me paula poundstone yes that julia louis-dreyfus is in an assistant living and then she just stares wow so i follow her on twitter those aren't her tweets is that what you're saying someone's doing tweets that's what i'm saying look dorothy just cut that fucking dog's tail. My God, this is really, this is, you know, we all get old and you don't want this to happen to anybody.

But this is a heartbreaker. Yeah. You heard it here, ladies and gentlemen. Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Except I think she's won 15 times or something. Yeah, but this was only, this was a while ago. No, this was just, this was just a few months ago. Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, geez. It might have been Allison Janney. Let's just say that, you know. So it was. I don't know. I love Allison Janney. I love Julia Louis-Dreyfus, which is why I'm very upset.

And what is especially upsetting about this story is that the woman giving you the tour didn't realize how many Emmys that she's won because it's much more. It's more than that. It's more than that. She did a really funny tweet the other day. Well, her people.

Right. Her team. She said that mousy gray hair is really in now. Yeah. Isn't it? Right. Yeah. Which I thought was in now. Yeah. Isn't it? Right. Yeah. Which I thought was really funny.

Yeah. And now that I realized that she, it's, it didn't even come from her. It probably came from that lady who runs that, that assistant. Oh my God. Whoever's neglecting,

whoever's neglecting coloring her hair. Yeah. It's like trying to cover their own ass. Yeah, exactly. By making a funny little tweet out of it and pretending it came from Julia Louis-Dreyfus. This is just such upsetting news.

Yeah. Can't you tell my love's a-growing? What was your first television appearance? Don't you wish you could get out of this story? Yeah, we are. We're moving on. It's gone now. Okay.

Yeah. Was it SNL? Ah. Or were you, had you been? No, you know what? I can't remember anymore. It might have even been Evening at the Improv. Yeah.

But it was, I did that. I did stand up on SNL. Robin Williams was the host and it was the Eddie Murphy cast. And I did, I think I did Letterman the night before. And then I did SNL. It was like my big, like, you know, she's breaking loose in New York City. Yep. And yeah, yeah.

And yeah, yeah. It was, it's funny because at the time, I don't think I even realized how cool it was. Yeah. I mean, I was nervous and all that, which is evident in the work itself. But I don't, you know, looking back when I think, oh, I did these really cool things. You know, I don't, I don't think I got how singular that

would be in the course of my work either. I think that's, I think that that's common. I think that when cool stuff is happening to you and sort of especially if it is the culmination of aspirations you know that that it's it's kind of too much to really think about it in a way of like oh my god my dreams are coming true or what you know this is what i was kind of hoping would happen because your life is always going to be your life. You know, I remember like when, when the tonight show debacle happened and, you know, there was, you know, we were, we were essentially leaving the tonight show and go, you know, and not going to be on the tonight show anymore. And I remember just having

this feeling of like, Oh, this is like, there will be books written about this. Like what, just the shit that's going on around our office today. Like, and it's just, and it just, to me, it was just like, what happened at work today? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Conan wrote a letter to somebody and they read it. And then we got lunch. I had one of those Chinese chicken salads and we tried to write some bits, but you know, it's, we were very distracted, you know, and it was just,

it didn't feel, I was aware of it kind of, but it still just felt like Chinese chicken salad, you know? Yeah. Yeah. You know, they don't serve that in China, do they? No, no, they don't. They're, they probably call it like, you know? Yeah. Yeah. You know, they don't serve that in China, do they? No, no, they don't. They probably call it like, you know, LA chicken salad. Yeah, probably. Yeah, probably. Yeah.

They're always trying to shove the blame onto us for stuff like the chicken salad. Did you ever have any kind of like the sitcom deals? Did any of those ever happen for you? Yeah. Yeah. I had a, yeah. I had a. Yeah. I had a.

I. Okay. So years, years and years and years ago, I had a deal with some showrunners at, you know, some people who are going to be in charge of the show. They had a deal at 20th Century Fox and they were going to write this show for me. And, you know, I can't remember how many they had or whatever. And it was a little bit biographical of me, but since they were writing it, then it would be biographical of me. But since they were writing it, then it would be biographical of me, but not a lot of it.

So, but this was the premise was, but what's funny is when I think I originally talked to them, the one thing I said was, look, I don't, I cannot countenance child actors. Yeah, yeah. It's just, it's just,

it's just, I always feel like it's a lot. Yes. And so I really don'tance child actors. Yeah. Yeah. Um, it's just, it's just, it's just, I always feel like it's a lot. Yes. And so I really don't like child actors and, um, you know, I think I told them some about my life, which is that I really haven't had a relationship with my parents in forever. And so they write this script that is me and I'm fostering a couple of kids. And my, you know, you're fostering kids in your or were you fostering kids at of kids and I, my, my, my like other adult, you know, confident, whatever on the show is my mother. So it was like the two things I told them, like, OK, let's not do this and let's not do this. Apparently something got lost in the translation. Yes, yes.

But whatever. It's a show. It's not my life. It's just a show. So we begin to work. And by the way, the person who was cast as my mother was Debbie Reynolds. Oh, wow. Yeah. Well, that's fun, at least, you know? Yeah, it kind of was.

It was weird. You know, it's funny looking back. I'm like, oh, my God, I worked with Debbie Reynolds. But at the time, it was a day in the life of my it was the same thing it was yeah it was just i'm at work and uh but whatever you know we worked with and um i forget if they had made like an order for a certain amount i can't even remember anymore but so we oh i know one of the things was we go to this table read and Debbie Reynolds is at the table and I'm at the table and the people that were in charge of the show, not the show runners, but the people above them at Fox were like, we love it's comedy gold, Paula Poundstone

and Debbie Reynolds, comedy gold. So this is how the mother character got grown, was that they just loved the interaction between Debbie Reynolds and I. And so the next thing I know, once again, my character, I just found like, wait a minute. I just think it's weird to give a shit what your mother thinks. I just think that's weird. And that would be different. I realized that my job was supposed to be acting and that I should have been able to pull that off. But anyway, so as time goes by, the people that are in charge, just, they just, they hammer these poor people that are writing the script.

They want it changed this way. They want it changed that way. Every day they give these people different instructions. And every day we're waiting for the new script to begin working again on this thing that keeps getting changed and keeps getting changed and keeps getting changed. And finally, they take a look at what's going on, the powers that be. And they say, OK, you know, we're not going to do a pilot. We're going to do like I forget. They had a word for it was like a tape, a pilot presentation. Yes, that's what it was.

That's what it was. And so eventually this thing that started out and Carol Kane was also in the cast. And I feel terrible that i can't remember the name of of the other guy because he was great i really enjoyed working with but like slowly but surely the thing you know at first it's like paula bones to debbie rudolph carol cain and then slowly but surely sort of goes to like a smaller and smaller and finally it's just this yeah we'll make a video today. You got a camera? Do you have a camera? Bring your own camera. Yeah, just you know what? Don't even come to the studio.

Just is there anything you can film at your house? That'll be fine. And the guy that was the head, he's probably still a big mucky muck somewhere. I think his name was Peter Roth. Am I right? Yeah, he is. He's in charge of Warner Brothers. Oh, is he? Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, the meetings that you would have with the bigwigs. Yeah. Where, okay, I'm sure it's like this in lots of corporations, but my guess is LA is a little worse.

Yeah. Which is, it matters where you sit in the room. Uh-huh. Right? I mean, I'm not doubting it, but I'm sort of blissfully unaware of all of those kind of things. So was I. Yeah. So was I. But I think, you know, I think there was a meeting where somebody sat in the wrong chair or something.

I mean, such, just such, oh, Lord. So the answer is, yes, I did have that experience. I'm trying to think if i had uh i've had so many failed liftoffs yeah you know i can't have you know i can't and the thing is when i was young i really thought i thought i was goddamn judy garland i you know the fact that i can't sing or dance never really occurred to me. Right, right, right. But I thought, we'll deal with that. We'll deal with that.

Don't worry about that. I'm Judy. Where's my light? I'm five foot four. Yeah. You know what? I'm in my trailer, and I'm too high to come out. So I really did.

I kept, you know, I kept thinking. and now it was like it was like when you know i just kept thinking that there was going to be a big like and now paula poundstone and then just like that one pilot it just kept getting smaller and smaller paula poundstone well it's well you might enjoy her. Yeah, yeah. The thing I always loved about that process is when they, you know, I would go into those processes, those development processes and say, you know, well, you know, I don't want to do dumb horse shit. You know, like I want to have, you know, I'm not, you know like i want to i want to have you know i'm not i i'm not you know leonard cohen but i do want to maintain some artistic integrity i don't want to do something stupid yeah um i mean

but i mean not like and not even i'm not talking about like some big alienating weird standard i just mean i don't want to be on something that's not funny basically right yeah and and they would say at the beginning of this of those processes we want you do you on uncut we want you we love you you always love and then as you go as you go through the process it's like you know could you maybe be a little bit more like other stuff you know like yeah this whole like you we changed our mind about you you're a little bit too much you i've always told people uh you know particularly people that have never been through the you know the la meat grinder uh which is that i could audition for the paulaoundstone story. And they would say, you know, we're going in a different direction.

Yeah, yeah. You know, which, you know, we like. But when I first came here to L.A. from, I had been in San Francisco and I started coming down here. And, you know, listen, I had some wonderful opportunities. This is some stuff that I just plain blew that I can't even blame anybody else. Yeah. But damn it, because I feel if you can't blame someone else, it takes the joy right out of blaming.

But I did come down. I think I was 23 when I actually moved here. Wow. And it took me a while. Like, yes, there's the ego thing. And absolutely I have that. And, and, uh, you know, but what happens is it's a perfect storm because yes, I have an ego. Um, and then there were people that would say, so we love, we love you. We love it. We love it. And see, I understood that to mean the same kind of I love it that is in every other part of the country and perhaps the world.

Yes, yes. But it turns out there's LA love. Yeah. And it's very different. It's a scaled down model of love from anywhere else in the country but because I was young and I was you know as egocentric as one must be to be a performer

I was vulnerable to the curse of LA love and not realizing how quickly it went the other direction but wait there was something damn it there was something I was going to tell you. Oh, it was a really good story, too. It fell out of my head.

Well, yeah, it's a funny place. Oh, I was just. Yeah, I was saying. What did you just tell me? What did you tell me? I was telling you that how they wanted you. They love. We love you.

Yeah. All right. So, no, you were saying about not wanting, you know, wanting to have some, one of my dogs just came in, about wanting to have some. Integrity. Integrity. Exactly. So years ago, I get an audition for the movie Casual Sex and they sent me the script and I read the script and I thought it was awful. I thought, I just thought it was awful. Yeah. And, uh, you know, not funny, somewhat gratuitous.

And, uh, I just, I thought it was awful, but you know, my managers at the time were, oh, it's good experience. You know, they'll, they'll know who you are. It's good for them to know who you go in and audition. So I go in and I audition and the person who's making it liked me. And so I say to myself, I take another look at that script. Right. Maybe I just didn't get it maybe i just didn't really understand the script and so like they asked me to come read again by this time i've read the script a couple times it's pretty good keeps getting better it's a pretty good script really you know you gotta read you gotta read between the lines and maybe some of it's a jumping off place, you know,

for me to do what I do, you know, for me to bring to it. You know, you don't just take what's on the page, for Christ's sake. You bring something to it. A liberal sprinkling of poundstone. Well, honestly, you know, Arthur on the page probably wasn't all that good. But, you know, you bring in Dudley Moore. Right. You know, before that, it was just a sad story of a drunk guy.

But you bring in Dudley Moore and it's magical. It's unbelievable. So, you know, now it's down to between me and the actress who ended up playing the role. This is a really fucking funny movie. The script is really good and I can see all sorts of stuff you could do with it.

And I'm very excited to play the role. And I'm so glad that they've discovered me in a way that other people just hadn't. And I really am. I'm working on my acceptance speech you know why aren't there more comedy uh spaces in the academy awards and uh i go to get out of the car at the improv one night i pull up and my manager happens to be standing right there and he goes oh boy i bet you had a shitty day and i said i'm sorry why would that be? And he goes, oh, you didn't hear? Oh, I love that one.

Yeah, I said, no, I hear what? He says, oh yeah, they went with so-and-so. What a piece of shit movie. You know what? You know what? That's one of the worst scripts I ever read. I can't believe they're even, you know what? It's not worth the paper it's printed on.

I feel sorry that a goddamn tree got chopped down so they could make that piece of shit film. You know what? Boy, did I dodge a bullet. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

The life cycle of a screenplay. Yes. Yes. And your relationship to it. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. No, it was terrible. Yeah.

Yeah. I could have done something with it though i really could have can't you tell my loves are growing these days uh are you well i mean not these days with our current situation but um we're in a sitch. Yeah, you're still but you're still out touring, right? You're still doing. Yeah, I don't know what's going to happen. Right.

Exactly. Yeah. I have for many, many years been working theaters all around the country and enjoying the heck out of it. It's the greatest job in the entire world. heck out of it it's the greatest job in the entire world um and now uh one of the things i love about it is you know i don't have there's nobody else on the bill it's just me it's an evening with paula poundstone and every now and then a comic will seek me out and say hey you know hey i was wondering if i could open for you uh you know because i live at blub you know in indianapolis and you're gonna work at the Indianapolis Theater, whatever it is.

And I just have to show my true colors. I say, you know what? I am unwilling to share my audience. You know? I don't want to cut short what I'm doing because my biggest problem is stopping. doing because I love my biggest problem is stopping, you know, and I don't want to make stopping harder because I have someone else on the bill. So I just, I have the greatest audience in the world. Back when I worked in clubs and there was like an MC and a middle act and a headliner guys would beg to work with me, not because'm such a stroll in the park to be around

but because they wanted to talk to my audience because i have just just this great audience and and you know what i miss them yeah yeah yeah i really do i mean i i do now i fool around making comedy videos uh and posting them on my website and, and, and I'm enjoying Facebook or whatever. I'm enjoying doing that. And I have a lot of interaction with the audience that, that is viewing these things. But I certainly miss not just the fact that it's a crowd that I'm in front

of, but I miss my crowd. I don't want, I don't want my crowd yeah i don't want i don't want your crowd i don't want anybody else's crowd i want my crowd i want the back sitting beside each other uh uh able to process the slings and arrows of life um through laughter yeah that's great yeah because my crowd is trash oh jesus i heard about your crowd they are trash yeah there's been a lot of trouble with your crowd is my understanding well they and they will hoard right there at the theater they will bring in a pile of trash to surround themselves with in the theater yeah they're hoarders you're you know you're you're you're you're crowd

the opioid epidemic did not exist until your crowd gathered. And they found out they were into the same thing. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I don't think that's, yeah. A lot of times, I know that there's like a needle exchange place where you put your posters up. And I'm not sure that's the wisest marketing strategy but you know what it works you know everybody everybody deserves you know to laugh and i think it's great that you that you entertain

those people those people those people well um you know the uh part part of these three questions, the gimmick of this thing is that where you're going. And I'm wondering if there's anything, you know, you're sort of, you feel like you're left on the playing field that you still want to, you know, you still want to do or that you're still. You mean in my life? Yeah, in your life. Oh, I thought you mean in my life yeah in your life or you know in this in this chat no no in this chat this is we pretty much have plumbed the depths already oh my god yeah what more could there be well i've already accused your audience of being opioid addicts i think i'm not not just opioid addicts being responsible yeah being the opioid. Yeah, you're right.

Some would call that harsh. I call them as I see them, by God. In my life, well, you know, I have more than one philosophy, and maybe it depends what time of day. Maybe I have the sundowner thing myself. Yeah. You know, I have a little titch of asthma, not a lot, little titch of asthma. And so I thought to myself, gee, if I got the virus, you know, would I be a person who, you know, would I be Tom Hanks, take a couple of weeks with my lovely wife,

write some nice notes to the public and, you know, come out of it being Tom Hanks. Yeah. Yeah. That being the wonderful national treasure that is Tom Hanks. Would I do that? Or would I be like, I don't, I tell myself that I would wave off the ventilator because there's going to be a shortage and all that. Because. And the reason I say this is because, you know what? I've had some nice things, some really nice things. I've raised

three kids who I love like raisin toast. And I've had ping pong parties in my backyard for 30 some years, at least at least two or three parties a year. Sometimes at our peak, I think we were doing five and six. We have we pull names out of a hat for doubles partners and we have an electronic antique electronic scoreboard. Wow. Oh, it's it is so goddamn much fun. Yeah. And, you know, pee your pants laughter. And I've climbed trees, which I cannot stress enough to America's children how important that is. And we used to climb trees and read when I was a kid.

You ask a kid now, you ever climb a tree and read? They look at you like you have two heads. I was a kid. You ask a kid now, you ever climb a tree and read? They look at you like you have two heads. There was a thing. You did that. And I've had so many cats, you know, have come. And, you know, that's my point is just I've had a real and I've met Dick Van Dyke. You know what? Yeah.

I'm good. Yeah. I'm good. Yeah. I'm good. So if I never did anything else, if I never did anything else, I am the luckiest person in the world. And I know that. And having said that, I'd love to do an ensemble kind of comedy movie. Yeah. I mean, I, you know, I am so jealous when I watch bridesmaids, which is hands down the funniest film ever made. And I'm, I'm a March brothers fan and I'm a, uh, you know,

I'm a, I'm a comedy movie fan, but there's like, there's bridesmaids up here and then there's a long space and then the other funny movies uh you know begin uh and so i would love to do some sort of ensemble comedy movie like that that perhaps i might even write if i were to have the you know the privilege of continuing but beyond that um i love my audience and yeah and i have and i have a podcast, which makes me human. Yeah, right. Yeah, because the thing about a podcast is they used to say humans were defined because we breathe oxygen and we don't eat our young. But now it's we breathe oxygen, we don't eat our young and we have a podcast.

So I have a podcast called Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone. It's an absolute joy to do it's like a it's it's like a factual based kind of isn't it you take on different topics yeah do we have um there's a lot of just sort of silliness that goes on and then the the sort of middle of the show is we interview uh an expert on a on a topic a topic either that I've always wondered about or find helpful in my own life. We just did a guy who, excuse me, a woman

who talked about, she's a bankruptcy lawyer and we had made plans with that woman to be on this show forgive me, I can't remember her name like a long time ago. And then just the way the timing worked out, it was like right in the middle of, you know,

when a lot of people are going to go bankrupt. And I felt bad because I was like, well, I don't want to rub it in. But by the way, you know, you want to have the bankruptcy lawyer on when, you know, when the sky is blue and, and, and, you know, everybody's doing well and they can just have that little safety valve in the back of their head. You don't want it when there's a mad rush for bankruptcy court. Well, Paula, thank you so much. And everybody, everybody is, is your website is paulapoundstone.com. It is. It is. Yeah.

Everybody go over there now. Check it out. And thank you for listening to the three questions. And we will get back to you next time. I've got a big, big love for you. The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco and Earwolf production. It's produced by me, Kevin Bartelt, executive produced by Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Chris Bannon production in association with Earwolf.