The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Rachel Bilson

Episode Date: July 26, 2022

Rachel Bilson joins Andy Richter to talk about going to school in Los Angeles, working on and revisiting The OC, her new podcast Broad Ideas and more!

uh hello everybody i'm andy richter uh as usual and i am talking uh to an actress that i uh used to be a co-worker with well sort of uh we. We were on Fox together, and we used to see each other at all the, when they trot you out and, you know, display you in front of people things. Yes. But she's had a great long career, and she's always been, every time I've met her, she's always been a riot, a lot of fun. And she's here today. She's promoting.

She's a podcaster herself, which I find tremendously threatening. But I'm talking to Rachel Bilson today. How are you, Rachel? Well, that was the sweetest intro ever. And no pressure, by the way. I better be a riot. No, no, I know. Right, right.

Yeah, you better be a riot now. That's right. It is so nice to see you, though. It's good to see you. Yes. Virtually, but you know, whatever. That's as good as it gets these days. You're in a bedroom.

I'm in a bedroom, and it doesn't look like it. I disguise it well, but. Yeah, yeah. No, I kind of make the bed before I, before, I don't want it to, you know, look too sad. Too sad. You know what? I am a firm believer in, like, why do you make your bed every morning if you just get in it at night and unmake it again? I know. It does. It does. It helps, though,

especially if like you're, you know, prone to the sads like I am. It does. It does help, I think, to make you feel like, I don't know, just like a productive member of society. Like you've transitioned from laying around to standing up and doing things. I think you're onto something. It's that same mentality of like, get out of your pajamas and get dressed. Yes. Yes, absolutely. Or don't be naked and get dressed, whichever works for you. Whichever, whichever.

Or be naked, depending on, you know, what sort of resort you're at. Absolutely. Well, how are you? How was COVID for you? I mean, that's sort of a topic of conversation for everybody. Yeah, I've never heard of it. It's, you know, it's been a long run. It's so funny because for me, you know, I have a seven-year-old daughter.

So a lot of it when it first happened and the lockdown and everything, it was literally just her and I. And you have to entertain a young child 24 hours a day, you know, school's out of the picture and everything. But I will say the positive is we got this time together that I don't think anyone really has because the kids, you know, they're doing their things and it gave us the time to really, well, maybe it's a little unhealthy, like how close we are, but I'm grateful that we had that time because you'll never get that back. And she was, gosh, how old was she when lockdown? Five.

And it's such a precious time. So I'm grateful that we had that. Obviously, I don't like the circumstances and why we had to do it. But yeah, it was, you know, it was a challenge, actually. For me, mentally, mental health wise. And I think a lot of people have gone through that with COVID. But it's weird being reintroduced to society. Like, that's been really hard for me.

Yeah. Yeah. I find, I found that like the first, and they were, I mean, cause I'm still pretty careful. I'm still wearing a mask. I'm still, I don't, I don't care. I don't care what a dork I look like. I feel it. I feel it when I first walk into something where no one's wearing a mask, but I am.

I feel like a dork for about 10 seconds. And then I remember, yeah, but I won't have COVID. And I'm not worried about dying at this point. I'm just worried about having to stay home for 10 days or whatever it is. So that's what it is. So it recently swept through my family and inner circle. And I didn't get it. And I don't know how, you know, it was this crazy thing. But the biggest thing of it was the inconvenience of my kid not being able to go to school or, you know, all of the things like that, because you do you have to isolate and, and can't do the things. And obviously, it's harder for children. but I am

a firm believer in the mask. I will never fly on an airplane again, as long as I live without one. Yeah. That's not a bad idea. I think it's disgusting. Like I've always been disgusted by airplanes. Yes. Yes. So I'm a big fan of the mask and I was in Jersey recently. There were no masks. I had mine on, like going into the market or Walmart or whatever it was. I was like, I'm definitely having this on my face. And you are kind of an outsider, but I don't care.

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. It's, yeah. And I mean, and I had the same thing. I, you know, my girlfriend currently is getting over it. And I have had, you know, like my son got it. I've dodged bullets a number of times, and I don't know exactly why, but I just, it just would be a real, it would be a real drag to get it. And especially, yeah, there is that long COVID too.

That would really suck. Yes. I would really feel bad. You know, I would not like to have lifelong heart issues just because I went to Ralph's. Right. I mean, it's just not worth it. I know. It's just such a crazy thing.

It is interesting what you say, because I do think that so many people, really, there were some real, you know, tangible benefits from having to shut down your life and stay home for so many people. And especially, I like lots of men that I know, especially who are like, man, you know what? My kids are, I like my kids. I like being with my kids. It's like, yeah, yeah, kids can be great, you know? Right.

They can also be exhausting, but they can be pretty great too. Of course. But it's true. Yeah. You get that time and you're like, oh, you're actually kind of cool. And this is your hometown, right? You grew up here. I did.

Yep. Born and raised. And kind of a showbiz kid, right? I mean, you're multi-generational in the industry in some way or another. Yeah. It started with my great grandparents, actually. My great grandfather was head of the trailer department at RKO Pictures. Wow. That goes back. And my great grandmother

was a screenwriter, which I think is pretty cool. That is really cool. Yeah, because that was a long time ago. And my grandfather was a big TV director. And then my dad and my aunt. Yeah, it's always been behind the scenes, you know, directing, writing, producing. And I was the first one to take on the daunting task of being on camera. But yeah, so I grew up definitely around it. But it kind of benefited me because it wasn't so much a thing per se. It was like, okay, this is your job. You do your job. You do it well. That was always instilled in me. And that's kind of what I went with. Yeah. And I think, well, first of all, how does your grandfather in those early days,

what does he do to get into the film industry? Because that's always fascinating to me that there were people just walking around doing whatever, selling apples out of carts or whatever old timey people did. And then there's this industry just happens. It just, you know, it just pops up and becomes like the dominant force in entertainment. Like what did he do to sort of get his foot in the door of this new industry you know that's a great question and for my great-grandfather if he was alive today i'd love to ask because they were in new york i know that and they came out here but i don't know i don't know what brought them out right right you know if i could time travel i would you know i'd love

to go back and be like yeah yeah, yeah. Yeah. All time. He like, Hey, it's a, it's a shame people don't, you know, don't, I mean, cause like in my family too, I don't know the motivations. I know, I know the facts of where these people went and why they went, but I don't know the motivations of it. Right. I wish I could sit down more and have those conversations, especially with grandparents and they have so many stories. And my grandfather is still alive.

And he's the one that directed classic TV, like Get Smart and all that kind of stuff. Oh, wow. So he would still have stories. And I plan to sit down with him and find them out. Do it. Yeah. Yeah.

Now, because you're family, I think anybody that works in the industry ends up having kind of a bit of a jaundiced eye towards the industry. And they end up knowing, like, what a meat grinder it can be. And when you started acting, did you get those kind of like were your was your family hesitant to say like uh be careful you know it's a shitty creepy town full of shitty creeps right you know for me my parents were both very adamant that i could not get into it until i finished high school at least yeah um So once I was 18. Good for them. No, I'm so grateful for that.

I had full on childhood, all of those things that are so important. But yeah, and actually my dad, I think I was doing a play in my senior year and he was like, you know, you're kind of good at this. You want to do it? And I was like, yeah, yeah, I want to do it. But yeah, so not until I was 18. But, you know, like I said before, my dad has always been like, it's a job, you do your job and you do it well. Like, don't think of it in any other way, the things that can come along with it, all the crap, you know. So I went into it that mindset. It's like, oh, no, I'm here to work.

And I've always been that way. And I'm considerate of every single person making this thing happen, right? You have your crew and the people upstairs and the editor, you know, everyone. that everyone has a job to do really helped me because I don't think I got as caught up in, you know, the fortunate success that I had at a young age. I had the right kind of support system to help me through it. It keeps you from being an asshole too. That's for sure. Honestly. I mean, I'm sure I can be an asshole, but not on set. No, but you know what I mean? Because it is, can be an asshole but not on set no but you know what i mean because it is i'm always struck by people because i you know i started in production i started you know like i was a pa that was my first job on film sets was as a pa so i still try to think of myself as a member of the crew but like a really lucky privileged member of the crew, but like a really lucky, privileged member of the crew. Like nobody that's holding the boom gets to have his own little room, much less his

own toilet. It's a nice, nice, you're a nicely treated member of the crew. But you are part of the crew. And I think the people that don't know that they sort of miss out on the fun of it and i always i think the people that are miserable and that make everyone else lives miserable on a set they they're they're missing the point and they're not seeing like no no you're this is a this is a organism and you're a cell in the organism. And that isn't bad. That's good. It's so good. Yeah.

Yeah. And it's, you know, I always get mad. You know, people like, what's taking so, like actors that like, what's taking so long? You just feel like, you wouldn't know, would you? You have no idea what happens. Yeah, you're literally sitting down in a chair being hand fed, essentially.

Precisely. What is so bad? Someone would put food in your mouth if you asked them to. Absolutely. You know, I'm sure that depending on the makeup, they probably have, you know. Yes, they have. A rush to you with a straw, whatever it may be. But yeah, it's so important to really recognize that.

And I'm really grateful that I was taught that. And consideration does just run in my family, luckily. But it's a whole thing. But we do get our own toilets. That is a perk. And you know what? Oh, what a perk. What a perk.

Public restrooms? Not a fan. No thanks. Yeah, especially ones that are on wheels. Yep. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Not optimal. Yep. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Not optimal.

Nope. Nope. Don't want those things moving around. Now, going to L.A. high school, I imagine you had kid actors around you, though, right? Yeah. And did you feel like oh i wish i could be doing what they're doing or you know like um kirsten dunst was in high school with us and she had already done interview with the vampire so of course it was always like oh you kissed brad pitt at like 11 years old yeah yeah all of that um she was super nice uh but i never had the thought of like oh i want to

be that or do that you know it was it was still very our high school had an amazing drama teacher judy weldon and it was really my introductory to real acting and i was so blessed and rami malik was in it um oh wow yeah yeah and uh so there were you know a few kids that that came out of that Catherine uh McPhee Foster she was there as well um and oh the American Idols yes yeah she's married to David Foster now but yeah right right um and I knew her when she was there and we just had this really cool group of drama kids. And like drama, it wasn't like, you know how like in high school, some people are like, oh, the drama kids are like the nerds or whatever. And it's all about the sports.

And our school, our high school really had both. So drama was still cool. Sports were still cool. And it had that nice blend. But yeah, there were a lot of actors uh and actors that went on to be very successful that came out of it and i really do attribute a lot of it to our drama teacher she was fantastic yeah and was it uh were that was the focus on theater or were they trying to get you to do film acting mostly just no it was industry it was all traditional little black box theater uh really getting into it doing all the exercises and and

really flexing those muscles or learning those muscles or you know and um it was really it was awesome i i like now looking back i'm like i wish I could do that now. Yeah. Yeah. You know, did you? Oh, absolutely. Like, I felt like six months out of college. I was like, man, I sure am ready to learn something now. I just fucked around for four years. Like I did really. And then, you know, but actually sort of.

Did you know, like, how soon was it that you kind of knew, like, this is what I want to do for a living? Or were there other things? I mean, did you have fallbacks in your mind? You know, growing up, I always thought I wanted to be a preschool teacher. Having my kid go to a co-op for preschool and actually having to act like a preschool teacher, I'm like, that is the hardest job in the world. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. It's exhausting.

The patience. The patience. The patience. Unbelievable. Amazing. Teachers are incredible. Yeah. Yeah.

Like I grew up thinking that, but once I started, you know, I started acting in, I was doing commercials, booking them and I was starting to support myself at 18, 19 years old. And it was kind of like, okay, I like this. I know what I want to do. And I just stayed focused on it. I definitely worked at a restaurant. You know, I did all the other jobs too. But yeah yeah but i had my focus set on it so i i i knew and i was so lucky to have been working then and supporting myself i think my first commercial was for raisin bran crunch and you only saw my butt and i worked for 12 hours but you know what it felt great yeah yeah absolutely yeah and no one would have to know it was you i mean you know no no one did know somebody really knows you my butt knew because boy was it sore i was dancing all day but yes yeah and you're and then you know and then the checks start coming in too right in those days that was i think you made a lot more

money in commercials in those days it's probably well i mean definitely i mean yeah to support myself it felt good you know it felt really really independent and like I was doing it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And how long? Because you went you went to like a local college. Was that kind of just because, you know, like. So my college experience, I went for a whole semester. I went down to San Diego to a community college and some of my friends were going there and there was a dorm you could live in. So it was the full college experience, that side of the college experience, not the educational one. And I went for a semester and I literally had like one class left to get credit for

something and I didn't go. left to get credit for something and I'm and I didn't go but at the time I was commuting from San Diego to LA to try to book you know jobs and auditions and whatnot and I was partying a little hard and my dad was like I'm not gonna pay for you to just be down there and party right coming home and I was like okay so it was short-lived but yeah like I said, I started to work, which is so amazing. And yeah, that's kind of what happened. Were you still living at home? Like say like when the OC happens, are you still living at home? Or no, I wasn't.

I was not living at home. My aunt, actually, I was living in my aunt's condo, not with her, but with my best friend, Leah, my roommate, right by the Hollywood Bowl. It was it it was a time let me tell you it was a time i bet yeah yeah yeah but no i wasn't living at home and when i booked the oc i was 21 years old um still very young and it was like a fluke that i booked that thing i made j Josh Schwartz laugh and I landed this show and it was obviously the best thing that's ever happened to me aside from my kid. Was it like a laborious process? Did you have to go back and go back and go back?

So for me, I originally, my character Summer was a guest star on the OC. So when you're a guest star, you audition, when you're a guest star you audition maybe you go to a callback maybe you go to another one but that's kind of it and if you're a regular one of the main characters you have to go through so much to get the role and i didn't have to do that because i think if i had to do that i would have choked and knock out the part because oh wow put me in a room with like a bunch of people and all these like you know head of the studio or whatever I think I massively would have choked but luckily um I just had my few scenes and

Josh Schwartz left and I was I mean it's like the luckiest story in the world yeah and at what time so you didn't so you're think okay great this, I guess, probably a recurring at that point in the pilot. And when does it become, holy shit, I'm, I'm a regular. Oh gosh. You know, it was during the first season. I don't know if it's episode eight or 12 where we, myself and Melinda Clark, who played Julie Cooper, we both became series regulars. Because I think the writers were writing for my character and they liked what I was doing and they liked the dynamic between Adam Brody's character, Seth,

and my character. So they kept writing for me and then they bumped me up. And, I mean, it was just the coolest thing ever. And, again, I think I'm just grateful that i can make josh laugh that's really what it all comes down to yeah yeah and what what was it like working on that show i mean because it's essentially sort of like a soap opera full of beautiful people, you know? I mean, what was it like to do that on a day in and day out basis with all the kind of, you know? Yeah.

The plot, you know, like just the interwoven plot kind of, you know? You know, well, it was an ensemble. So there were a lot of different stories going on. And for me, especially like remembering back to the first season, we had a blast. We were all having so much fun together. Josh was so young. He was part of like our crew hanging out,

going out, even the actors playing the parents, you know, we all became very close and we're having so much fun. And obviously the storylines, there was a lot of drama. You know, you have overdoses in Tijuana. I had my own experiences in Tijuana being in San Diego. No overdoses, thankfully, but, you know, kids party and they're available. But yeah, there was a lot of dramatic stuff, but that's kind of what it is.

But what I liked wasosh's spin on the whole thing where it kind of brought this comedic element and um realism to certain aspects of the storylines and the characters they were all written so well yeah so it was just fun like bringing it to life and hanging out with your friends and people you admire. I mean, Peter Gallagher, I was like, oh, my gosh. Yeah, yeah. Mr. Eyebrows himself. Hello, American beauty.

It was just, you know, for my first real job, how lucky was that? It was pretty incredible. So was that sense of fun even when you're playing, like know od and in tijuana it's like well lucky for me i didn't overdose so right no i know but i mean but i'm saying those kinds of storylines yeah i mean is it still sort of with a wink kind of being played that way kind of i think that's what that show was fun it was of that yeah yeah it fun. And I think for me being so young, I'm kind of just like, well, you know. My whole mentality in life, and this was, I'm going to tell you a little story. My grandmother passed away.

And we were at a funeral. And we were at the reception. And one of her very best friends came up to me in the bathroom. And I'm crying. And I'm hysterical. And she goes, oh, honey, I'm so sorry about your grandmother. Well, what are you going to do? And just walks out of the bathroom. So to this day, my motto in life is, well, what are you going to do? And my whole family, we all abide by that. And it is our saying

and our go-to. And I think that's just kind of my mentality and it's kind of how i approach it even as an actor it's like all right like just bring it on we're gonna do this thing and okay well what are you gonna do and does that does that help deal with the the transition from being just a person on the street to a oh my god it's you you know because that that process it sounds like fun and it can seem like fun, but it can also feel, you know, like when you think, you know, the notion of like everyone knows who I am everywhere I go. I don't ever have that notion. No, no. But you know what I mean? But just that because it does happen where you go places and you feel eyes on you and feel people noticing you.

And from my own perspective, perspective yeah i know why it's happening i mean it and mine is the level of mine is very especially now now that i'm old and no one cares uh it's very true oh that's thank you that's what i was going for um but it's you know it's very manageable but it's still there's times when it's like you feel stared at and it feels like, you know, like your fly is open constantly or something. And it's a weird transition, especially from going from zero to the OC. Right. Because that show was a hit right out of the box. Yeah, that was kind of crazy, you know, but I think I can really because I was so young, it was like I wasn't really thinking about any of it.

It was kind of just was. I think now that I'm older and I've lived a lot of life and I've inherited anxieties and, you know, bouts of depression and whatever it may be that comes with life. Like, I think now I'd have a much harder time than I did at 21 where I was so carefree and very la-di-da, you know? So it would be a different experience. But yeah, I think I was grateful. Also, all of us, especially Ben, Mackenzie, Adam Brody, Misha Barton and I, who were the younger kind of kids going through it, we had each other and we were all going through it together. And I can't imagine Misha was like 16 and on the cover of every magazine. And my God, I don't know what I would have done at 16 or how I would have handled that. But

my own personal experience was being 21 and just having fun. Yeah. Yeah. And did you kind of being next to her going through that? Was it sort of, And did you kind of being next to her going through that? Was it sort of, you know, gave you a little breathing room to feel glad that it wasn't happening to you so young? I mean, thank God I'm not on the cover of Elle. Well, I don't know. I mean, you know. Yeah, no. I mean, it was a different experience for me because I wasn't that it girl.

You know, I was on a successful show and I was having fun. But also, mind you, this was on a successful show and I was having fun but also mind you this was before Instagram and all of that so social media didn't exist you just had your old time old-fashioned paparazzi you know yeah yeah yeah to deal with and I mean that was a thing you know there there was a lot of that going on but definitely not the level what Misha went through and yeah yeah so i could enjoy myself a lot more because not my every move wasn't being watched well but you and adam brody were you were together for a number of years right and and you were watched in that sense i mean

you know like you mentioned paparazzi that yeah what's that like you know we're like oh Yeah. For sure. of like nothing else existed you know it was like just us and i think we both kind of had a good head on our shoulders and dealt with it in a responsible way and um but it was weird you know you're always mindful as you're getting out of a car to go into a club or something you don't want to flash anybody because we don't know what that was like right or if you go get coffee you know you can't look like complete shit right you. You're like, oh, well, I think I still did. But yeah, there's that part of it, too. And being younger, I think you tend to care more what other people think. And as you get older, you're kind of like, well, screw that.

You know, yeah, I am what I am. Right. Yeah. No, that's that's also, too. If you can reach that point, too, where it's like, you know, because I mean, yeah, no, it's it's nice to not care. Right. It's freeing to be like, yeah, you know what? This is this is what I look like. seeing all the things around them like focus on weight and plastic surgery and all this thing like you know change who you are i think it's so much more of an important message to just be true to who you are and you know people have shitty days and you can look like crap yeah right go out of the house and guess what happens to everybody sure does i have i have never uh every time there's ever been a thing about like

pick which photos of yourself you like i always leave that to someone else because it's like i don't like any of them right you know we're our own worst critic yes absolutely Can't you tell my love's a-growing? Now, did feature work start happening while you were on the OC? Yes. And was there a big difference in that, working from one to the other? Or does it pretty much feel kind of the same? You know, so my first movie I did it was called the last kiss um with zach braff and tom wilkinson and jacinda bear it was a wonderful film uh and i think it

was the second season and i left to go do that i think the difference was we had a lot more time with scenes and you could spend time on them and really get it to a place you felt really good about. And it was, yeah, more of like a time thing with it. Also better craft service, but, you know, that can go either way. And it was such an amazing experience that it really opened my eyes to wanting to do more film. opened my eyes to wanting to do more film and and because you but saying that having done both I'm a huge fan of a tv series because it's like second hat you just go and it's a great job and you know your character so well and so there's perks to that as well but yeah the first movie experience was really cool to to creative process. Right, right.

And how many seasons did the OC do? Four. Four. Yes. And as it's getting into that fourth, do you know that it's kind of on the wane? I think that the fourth season was picked up for lesser episodes. season you know was picked up for lesser episodes uh and i think everyone kind of knew you know misha's character dies in the end of the third season and and so we knew we had a shorter season and four and that was going to be the end and at the time i was working on something else

simultaneously with the fourth while we were shooting the fourth season um so that was a pretty crazy time and so we all kind of knew that was coming to an end it was really it was i remember being really sad it was bittersweet you know because yeah you spend all this time with people and you love them and you've created this thing and um yeah it was bittersweet at the end uh but we all we all had a heads up at least was it was misha's character the death of misha's character like kind of was that sort of like then the writing on the wall sort of i think i don't know like officially you know if that's what it was but i think that there were so many storylines that got burned through so quickly.

You know, there were so many characters and the show was so popular. And I think the pressure to kind of keep churning things out maybe played into it. And I know Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage could speak to this better. But I think that was kind of, you know, like, okay, well, how much further can everyone else go without our main character, female character? Yeah, yeah. And that was hard. Yeah. Yeah.

And, well, because, like, I'm trying to think, like, because I'm, like, why do you think it went south? Like, why do you think that it all went south? And if it's not your place to say, then it's not your place to say. I don't know if it's literally a ratings thing or I think people were kind of antsy to do other things maybe. But I don't really know what the actual thing was. But yeah, after, you know, Marissa dies, it's kind of, I mean, how do you go from that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In my opinion, it was like, now what? And is there a party that's kind of relieved that it's done? That it ended 17 years ago? No, no, I don't mean now. is there a party that's kind of relieved that it's done? That it ended 17 years ago? No, no, I don't mean now. I mean, then. Like then, is there, you know, no, no, no, no. I mean, I'm just- You're like, are you happy that it's canceled?

No, no, no, no, no, no. No, I mean, then when, you know, when it's happening. Yeah. Like you say that you're sad, but is there also part of you that says like, oh good, now I'm freed up to go do other things. uh so and i just went on to continue filming that movie when the show wrapped so it was literally like i had i didn't have time to sit with it um or think about it it was um busy time for me work-wise which was great in a lot of ways but yeah i didn't have that kind of

time to silently sit and reflect, which I'm kind of doing now. You know, we have an OC Rewatch podcast that we've been doing, and it's been really interesting to reflect on it all and catch up with everybody and really get into it. And it's been emotional, and I'm kind of doing everything I should have done then

that I didn't have the chance to. Yeah, yeah. And are you watching each episode, you know, along with to see the podcast? Oh, yes. And I've never seen them before. So I'm literally the audience watching this show. And I don't remember anything. So everything's a surprise, even with my character.

I'm like, what? So it's been interesting for sure. And to watch yourself at 21 21 why did you not watch it i don't know yeah it's a good question yeah yeah i don't know i mean i i i get it because i don't watch a lot of the stuff that i do just because yeah you know i feel like well i already i i saw it already i was there you know right i mean I've definitely seen some of them, but to actually go through the whole thing, it's been pretty surreal. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. You're like, wow, you were really young and really tan. Is it weird to see yourself doing stuff that you don't remember? Yes. Yeah. It's not like you're watching yourself. It's really like you were just watching this character

that you're familiar with, but it's not you. Yeah. That's what it feels like. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Super weird. So after, I mean, are you, from that point on, I mean, is it just kind of you just keep going does it just

kind of feel like you know that just just one thing after another and and and are you are you good with that you know i was in a like in my life personally when it ended and the work I was doing and my personal life. I was very satiated and felt great and it was a very happy time in my life. Obviously still sad that that ended, but I look back at that time and it was really cool. I was traveling so much, which is one of my favorite things and one of the best things to help you grow up as a person, traveling alone especially. So, yeah, it was a good time for me personally. Yeah.

For sure. Yeah. And then at a certain point you start, I mean, because it was a famous relationship, you and Hayden Christensen start dating. And what year did you start seeing each other? It was right after the OC ended because we had met working on the film I was doing is where Hayden and I met. Or I guess actually Misha introduced us for the first time at a party at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood. Oh.

Randomly. But, yes. So, yeah, we started dating right after the OC. 2005, 2006, something like that. Yeah, yeah. And you guys, it was sort of an on-again, off-again, yeah? It was pretty on. We were together for 11 years.

Yeah. We had like a three-month break in there somewhere. Right, right. Yeah. And you guys never married, right? No, never married. And is there, may I ask why? Yeah. I think, I don't know.

And as I've gotten older, I'm like, what is marriage? Yeah. You know, because we had a very committed relationship. And we obviously had a child and did all the things without the papers. I think that, you know, we were engaged and we did take a break for a little while. And I think that kind of set the path that we were just after that committed. And that was what it was. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

And you had your daughter in 2014, was that right? Yeah, yeah. You had your daughter in 2014, was that right? Yeah, yeah. And how is it to now introduce a child to an acting career for you? Oh, no, no. I mean, our daughter's... No, I mean, introduce a child in your life in the middle of having... Oh, okay, got it.

No, because my daughter is a performer and is already, like, you know, hamming it up at the spring concert and all that stuff. And I'm like, oh gosh, you know. Hayden and I look at each other like, oh boy. Put on the brakes. Yeah, but it's funny because, you know, her dad obviously is in the Star Wars world and plays like probably the biggest villain of all time. And she is aware of it.

It's hard not to like see things with his face on it or whatever it is. And I'm just like, okay, just don't let her watch star Wars because when she sees what her dad does, I don't think that's going to bode well. But I think all the boys will leave her alone throughout all her school years. So that's a plus. So looking forward to that.

But yeah, she has an awareness of what her parents do. But she's definitely not seen anything that we've done. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, what's she going to watch, you know?

Right, right. You know what? Odds are she won't care anyway. Yeah, I don't think she will. No, they don't. They don what odds are she won't care anyway yeah i don't think she will no they don't they don't care they don't care even when you say you know even when you say like hey i'm in this thing that is appropriate for you like yeah yeah you know which parents are always uncool right which is fantastic jesus can you imagine if your kid was a fan oh how gross that would feel oh my god yeah you get fangirled by your daughter yeah yeah yeah a little weird a little awkward

exactly yeah but yeah she's oh well we'll just we're gonna lock her in in the house for the next you know 30 years and we'll see yeah yeah now i mean how did how did having her you know sort of change your worldview basically oh my god well as you know i mean it changes everything when you have kids yeah yeah it's not your world anymore your world is them and you know for me personally and professionally she always comes first every decision i make is with her in mind you know um and it opens you up and like the love that you experience you're just like holy like what the fuck is this like yeah yeah you know it's just unreal and there's nothing better in the world and yeah it's my my purpose, you know, my little child.

And the best thing I've ever done. Yeah. Do you see things in her that you see in yourself that either you're, like, happy about or that you're like, oh, that's not so. I see that and that's from me and that's not so great. I mean, the outfit, like, choices and really being into getting them. I'm like, oh, no. Is she like a clothes horse? She just loves it.

She got these new clothes, and she was modeling them for my mom and I yesterday. And I was like, oh, boy, here we go. And I obviously am a big fan of fashion and whatnot. But it's really sweet. You know what I'm most proud of is parents at our school or people telling me, your daughter is so kind. Yeah. And that, for me, is the best thing you can receive about your kid.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Everyone. It's really rewarding, and it feels good. And I know that comes from both her father and I. And it makes it feel like, oh, we did good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, because I'm with you 100% and I do, that matters so much more than what jerks my kids can be to me. Like when people would be like, your kids are so considerate and polite. I'm like, really? Yeah, because they're the kind of assholes at home. Right. Right.

I'm like, all right, fine. That's all I care. They can go ahead. Right. Get it out in the world. Take it out at home on your parents. Exactly. You know, be nice out there in the world. Right. You're on on your parents exactly you know be nice out there in the world right you're like you're making us look really good i don't care what you do at home yeah it's so true and they really do that you know i know myself and my friends and their kids that you can see be utter assholes but then at school they're like she is the but my kid actually is not an asshole i have to say she is pretty good they have she has her moments but every child yeah yeah i mean you know yeah and i'm you know and i say that for people out there thinking i'm calling my kids assholes i'm an asshole

no you know it's important to be yeah of course i'm a fucking asshole yeah my dog's a real asshole i mean everyone can be an asshole. Yeah, exactly. When you started into podcasting and you started doing the OC podcast, which you have a co-host with that, correct? Yeah, Melinda Clark, who played Julie Cooper. Okay. She's, yes. And how does that come about? Does somebody come to you and ask you to do that?

And how do you feel about it do you feel like yeah like good about going back and reminiscing or does it feel right weird right so it was born out of the pandemic and being at home and thinking of things to do and it sounded like a great idea to do from my closet i I turned into an office, my cloffice. But yeah, it was really emotional for me going back into it in the beginning, watching these episodes because I was 21 at the time. And I'm looking back at this 21-year-old and I'm 40 now. And all the life that has happened and where I was then and what has happened since. And it was just bringing up all of this stuff and coming off of a pandemic and all the other crap that comes along with that.

It was just like, I cried every single episode, even at the like good parts. Like I was a mess. Wow. Not, not literal, but you know, I just was emotional and I think it was good for me to go back and look at it. And like I said, catching up with people and having them on. And Tate Donovan, who there were like things said and we got to clear it up. And luckily, he still loves me. And talking to Brody, who I adore, and we shared something so huge, and that was really nice.

So it's been a really cool experience. Yeah. Now, do you see yourself, like, do you see that 21-year-old on screen? And how do you feel? Like, what's your feeling towards her? Are you protective? Are you, you know? I admire her because like i said being

younger and pretty carefree i admire how much that 21 year old didn't let things affect her and like i said the 40 year old that has anxiety over every little decision. I admire that part of it a lot. The fashion and some other choices. Envy in there too a little bit? Yeah. Yeah. Like longing for that and wanting to be that person that didn't have some of the issues that you can create or adopt as you get older but now that being said you're

older and you're able to recognize them work on them and and and learn the tools to fix it right right that's what i was going to say does she does she sort of inspire you to you know to get back there is there you know does she you know that that young optimistic yeah unbruised person it's yeah it's a very welcome reminder yeah you know and it's like oh yeah you are that person yeah yeah nice for sure now you have a new podcast yes broad ideas so uh tell people why they should listen to that but only after listening to that, but only after listening to this one. Right. Only after listening to this first.

First of all, what is it? So Broad Ideas. So one of my very best friends of 25 years and I, it's, well, it's an interview. Obviously, we interview a lot of people. Our first few guests, Kristen Bell, Mandy Moore, Aubrey Plaza, Zooey Deschanel. Those are the ones that have come out thus far. And it's a very open, transparent conversation, mainly with women, about many taboo topics that you speak about with your best friends, you know, behind closed doors. But we're having this platform to discuss things that might

be uncomfortable, might be, you know, a little, like I said, taboo and, um, like what kinds of stuff? Oh gosh. Well, Kristen's episode, we talk about talking to your kids about sex, you know, when it first comes up and, and they're, you know, younger and, uh, infidelity and, um, younger and infidelity and a lot of pleasure. You know, there's just things that women talk about. And for me, being a very private person, my whole professional life, as I said, like coming into 40 and being a woman and just wanting to create a safe space for things to be talked about and knowing people aren't alone and it's relatable and it's important to feel like you have that support. Yeah. Was there some event that happened or something that made you decide, like, I'm going to open up about this? No, you know what?

So I did an interview on Armchair Expert with Dax and Monica. And their producer was like, hmm, you told some really interesting stories. Do you want to talk more? It was like essentially the conversation. And we decided to create this thing. And I said, I have this best friend, uh, who has such an interesting perspective. She, she, um, studied, uh, spiritual psychology, which is super interesting. Um, but we're just very open and, and just willing to talk and we talk a lot. And, uh, so I brought her in and we just started this thing. And it's been a lot of fun.

And it's another thing we can do while some other things aren't going on. So, well, I guess that's what we're working on. Is it ongoing now? It is. It's out and available? It's available. When did you debut? We debuted three weeks ago.

Oh, cool. Yes. Oh, great. So it's brand new. I will check it out. Yes. I will check it out. Yes.

Oh, great. Well, I will check it out. Yes. I will check it out. Although sometimes, excuse me, I do feel like a voyeur eavesdropping on women's conversations with podcasts like that. Yeah. You probably will feel that way. It's a lot of girl talk. Might make you uncomfortable.

But, hey, maybe some pointers. Yeah, exactly. No, but I mean, but it's also, yeah, that's the thing. It's got to be educational. Right. It's also, yeah, that's the thing. It's got to be educational. And heaven knows most men could do a lot better about listening to women.

Listening to women, right? Yeah, I think I'm pretty good. I consider myself, and people make fun of me for this, but I don't know what else, however the health says it, but I'm a feminist. And people will be like, oh, you're a the hell to say it but i'm a feminist and people will be like oh you're a feminist yeah yeah i'm a feminist i mean it's like it's like the reality is women get the shit end of the stick in life so much right and i don't think that's fair so you come up with a better word for not thinking that's fair you should come up with another word i feel like you could maybe but i mean yeah but i mean then it would just sound no matter what you think i know sound you can't do it yeah just sound cringy you know so no but i love that and that's amazing and yeah yeah yeah but yeah no because i

you know women are way more fun to talk to than men generally speaking and i i'm not being like a suck up or i just am it like at a i don't know if it's just the way i was raised because i was you know i was in the kitchen with the women not watching the football game with the men that's awesome and it's because the food was there was one big deal but also too it's just they talk about stuff that's, I don't know, feelings, maybe. Right. Feelings. They talk about feelings.

Yeah. Then I think you will enjoy broad ideas. It'll be like you in the kitchen again. Yeah. Eavesdropping. Yeah. It gets hot in this kitchen, but I think you can handle it. All right.

Well, what's down the road for you? Where do you want to take your life at this point? Gosh. Well, you know, like I said, being mom is number one. So it's all about the kid. I just want my kid to see an example of real happiness and love and like a strong, you know, maternal figure to, you know, see as an example. And that's why all the decisions are so crucial because, you know,

it's all about her. So that's my future is just making sure I don't fuck it up. What are the components of happiness to you? Like what is your plan to sort of pursue it? Oh, gosh. Is to be. And what does it mean to you? Yeah.

To feel like when you lay your head on your pillow at night, you're proud of the person you are that day. You know? Because I think that is really what it's about. Like you're present and you're living your life and you feel good about what you're doing. And I think that's like more the deeper kind of happiness than, you know, eating a chocolate bar, which also works because who doesn't like that? But it's also to that, that's that then that's regardless of money, regardless of work, regardless of, you know, material stuff. It's just, yeah, it's based kind of just on giving yourself a good report card. Exactly. Yeah.

That's how I like to look at it. My therapist has taught me well. Have you been to therapy for a while? Yeah, I started a few years ago and i love it and there's a stigma with it's so weird you know it's just like this amazing thing to give yourself and these tools to give yourself and it's been awesome i'm i'm amazed when people are like people that have never been to therapy i'm like how the fuck do you do that and and oh and they just kind of feel like no i've never been to therapy because i don't need it i'm like, how the fuck do you do that? And they just kind of feel like, no, I've never been to therapy because I don't need it.

I'm like, wow. Yeah, that's like the first sign that you do. Well, I mean, I genuinely think there are people who are even keeled. They're not, you know, their brain chemistry is good. Right. And it's sort of what it should be. I'm making air quotes. Yeah. But it's just like what it should be. I'm making air quotes. Yeah.

But it's just like seeing a unicorn. Right. And especially in this world. It's just like, how do you not just become a ball of worry and self-doubt? Right. Right. No, I know. I hear you.

And if you can, it's also, I mean, I've talked about this a million times on this and I mean, it's podcast is kind of low key about mental health. But it's the one thing that in talking about it, people, it matters to people. And it doesn't seem like it should so much. It seems like it shouldn't be, I shouldn't talk to people who say, oh, you talking about going to therapy made me, you know, break down years and years and years of programming against it. It's like, really?

They're still doing that to you? I know. It's the weirdest thing because it's like this amazing thing that's available to anyone. And even nowadays, you know, you can do it for a reasonable price. Like it's not like it's unattainable. You don't even have to leave the house now.

I mean, I advertise, you know, a company that does it. Right. Which I won't mention their name because who knows if they'll continue advertising. You're like, listen. When people listen to this again, they might not be an advertiser right um right right right yeah but yeah it's you know i my thing is i'm always like you wouldn't walk around with a broken leg you'd go get it fixed that's such a good way to put it you get a cast on it so it's the same thing you want you don't walk around like that no it's um a beautiful thing what what do you uh what do you kind of feel like what

would you like your your daughter to know about you and to kind of take away from your experience and and your story oh man that's that's the what have you learned part oh gosh um that Um, that doing the really hard things and hard decisions, um, the fact that I have done some of those in my life, um, I think really shows her what it is to be a strong woman. what it is to be a strong woman. And it's none of your business what other people think of you. Yeah. I think that's a huge one. That's a good one. Yeah.

That's a good one. Yeah. Yeah. I like to stick to that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, and it's really, that is solid advice because you can't change it. Mm. Yeah. No, it's, and it's really, it's, that is solid advice. Cause you can't change it. And, and it, you know, I mean, I usually have been at the other end of like somebody saying like, what do you, you know, what do you think of me? And I mean,

I don't want to tell you, like, it's none of your business what I think about. Yeah. I'm going to treat you nice. I'm going to be civil. But, you know, my opinions are my opinions. And they're not laws. Imagine that's just your response. Like, well, I'm not going to tell you because. Yeah, none of your business.

None of your business. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, Rachel, thank you so much for taking the time. And good luck with the new podcast. Thank you. I encourage everybody to give it a listen. And, you know, have a good.

It was so nice, yeah, to talk to you and see you again. Yeah, it's good to see you. Yeah. I'll see you around probably. That's right. I'll leave the house every couple of weeks and see somebody. Yeah. I hope I'm not somebody soon.

Okay. All right. Thanks so much. Thank you. And thank all of you out there for listening. We'll be back next week with more of The Three Questions. I've got a big, big love for you. The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco and Your Wolf production.

It is produced by Lane Gerbig, engineered by Marina Pice, and talent produced by Kalitza Hayek. Thank you.