The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Rachel Bloom

Episode Date: June 14, 2022

Rachel Bloom joins Andy Richter to talk about raising children in the LA school system, mental health, trusting the people you love and more.

yeah getting old uh yeah it does it it sneaks up on you and the aches and pains and then it seems to plateau for a while and then you'll have a steep rise and oh my god the grave looms you know yeah you know yeah my biggest thing is well it's because i grew up on show tunes with i i really can't listen to music where the vocals aren't uh like crisp and i can't hear the lyrics but that that's not even that, that's, that makes me feel like I'm 70. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That,

that's, that's an extra old, like, you know, there's, there's people in their late forties that can listen to mushy lyrics. You know, I mean,

cause when you think about it, how much, like how many Elton John songs have you sung to your whole life and not known? Like, you know, like I just, it was only like months ago that I figured out it was, we'll fight our parents out in the street to find who's right and who's wrong. Oh, Jesus Christ. No.

You know, that's Benny and the Jets. Oh, no one knows the lyrics to that song. We'll find our parents out on the street to find who's right or who's wrong. But it's mixed as if you can hear the lyrics. I still enjoy it because it's not, his voice isn't covered up by everything. But like the new

Harry Styles album, I was like, okay, time to eat your music vegetables and listen to what the kids are listening to. And I was like, he has such a lovely voice. Why is he covering it up with all that synth? I basically am everyone's mom. I'm like, say, Harry. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Harry, I want to hear you. Harry, sit up straight musically. You know? Yes. Come on. No, all right. Well, you know, I've decided we've already started. I'm talking to Rachel Bloom here on the three questions today.

I'm lucky enough to have her. She's at a swank party, I can tell. There's a lot going on in the background. Whereas I'm sitting in front of an unmade bed because my cleaning person is here. That's why. And I do shit the bed every night. So it's a regular thing that I have to change the bed. Metaphorically and literally.

Literally. Okay. Literally. No, metaphorically. Metaphorically, I'm firing on all cylinders all the time. Right. I am aces. So how are you?

How's things? How's life? How's motherhood? You know, as you can tell, I'm at this amazing party at the Chateau Marmont right now. I'm amazed that they let me do a podcast i'm good i mean i i i've closed the door to my office so that my daughter can't hear me because otherwise she'll storm downstairs toddlers are insane they are i don't have any hot take everyone's already said toddlers are dictators i mean i'm in an i'm in an emotionally abusive relationship with my toddler.

It's what she doesn't want me to see anyone else. Whenever I'm talking to someone around her, she goes, mama, no talk. Yeah. It's a problem. The phrase I coined was high stakes boredom because you're bored all the time, but you have to be ever vigilant because there might be a split open skull at any moment. Well, and it's also, it's moments of repetition is part of how they develop.

Watching the same movie, listening to the same songs, doing the same things. And then there are these moments of genuine clarity and brilliance. You can see their consciousness kind of logging on. And then it logs back off again. Yep. Yeah.

But for those moments, there's moments of pure boredom and then moments of pure bliss. And I never knew those two could kind of coincide. I guess it's kind of coincide. I guess it's kind of like living in New York. Like low lows, high highs. Yeah. The smell of urine and then beautiful epiphanies.

Yes. And you love it no matter what. Right. Right. Yeah. No, it's really, it's really, it is tough. It's a tough time, especially kind of, you know, when they can really talk to you, that's a big difference. You know, because, you know, this sort of like, you know, beginnings of speech, it's cute. But after, it's kind of like, you're like, what are you saying? You know, like, what, I don't know what you want.

And they say it five times and they don't get bored saying it they'll say it 20 times um but yeah it's it's it gets it does get better and then i mean my my my kids are 16 and 21 and then you start to realize that's like with the 21 year old like kind of feeling oh, so this is it then. You're just going to go and be your own human adult then. Yeah, you're done. Oh, okay. I mean, I guess I knew that was the deal, but wow.

Huh. Okay. You know, like, what do I do with myself now? It's so strange that the bulk of if everything goes well, I've heard, I mean, this is true, the bulk of a relationship between a parent and child is when both are adults. Yeah. Even though those first 18 years are so wildly formative and important, you don't associate, like you think of having a kid as them being a kid.

But the fact that most of my relationship with my daughter will be when we can both have a conversation and she'll be like, I don't know, like smoking cigarettes and be having sex, which is really weird. That's what I assume. My daughter's going to be fucking cool. Of course she is. Yeah.

She's going to be able to handle her cocaine. Well, we're growing up, she's growing up in Los Angeles, so she definitely will be. Yeah. Well, not necessarily. Oh, that's good yeah that's a big factor i've been i've been trying to uh when i've been looking at at kind of schools and and where i want her to go it's it's okay where is she least likely to develop a coke problem that That's actually my, that's my only factor. Yeah. I can tell you the schools to steer away from, but I won't tell you on air. I grew up. You probably have a good idea.

Well, I grew up here. I grew up in Manhattan beach, which is not LA, but I, and I would hear about certain private school parties where people would do coke. I know the, I have a pretty good sense of the private schools. Yeah. Even my kids would say, oh yeah, that one's more of a cocaine party or more of a cocaine school. And that one over there is more weed and ecstasy, you know, and sort of like, you know, I'd be like, well, you hang out with those weed and ecstasy kids. If you know what's good for you. At least they're calm and happy. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, and also, too, it is it is a well, you you grew up in Los Angeles, but kind of Los Angeles adjacent.

So you weren't in the full swim of showbiz bullshit and how it can be a cancer on a young life. No, I wasn't at all. No. navigated if you stay engaged and you stay communicative and you stay respectful of your kids you know own identity and their own choices and stuff i think you know if you let them be them they're gonna be they're not gonna have any reason to hide stuff from you other than just like you know like my daughter i'll i picked her up once at a party and, you know, half the way home, she says, and I didn't think anything. She just said like, okay, all right, I'm going to level with you. I had a couple of beers. Oh.

And I was like, oh, okay. I was like, good. Well, you know, thanks for telling me. Whatever. You could have three if you want. I'm driving, so if you want to. That's nice. Yeah. mean she's she's open i mean my that my parents would uh that would have been zero man there would have been zero tolerance really not that was that was i was going to segue into that

what was what was growing up in your house like first of all are you an only child i am an only child oh boy and how do you feel how do you feel all, are you an only child? I am an only child. Oh boy. And how do you feel? How do you feel about that? Are you going to have, is your daughter going to probably be an only child? I think so. Honestly, being an only child is the least of my problem. So I like it. Yeah. And you know, people have this argument, oh, I want to give my child a sibling. I got to say the majority of sibling relationships I've seen are cordial at best. So I don't, you know, I want to give my child a sibling. I think it becomes more relevant as, you know, your kid gets older and older. And my husband describes it

because he has a sister as someone almost having a witness to your life someone someone being there and commiserating but you know i'll be dead by the time she needs that so i'm not you're planning on you're planning on checking out early yeah you know i just feel like something bad something that's gonna but yeah so you need to let her know that too every day i'm not here for long so you better get your act together, miss. Yeah, she wouldn't care. Yeah. Yeah, I was an only child, but my parents were very cool and easygoing in certain ways,

but like zero tolerance for drugs or, I mean, my mom once, it's a whole thing. My mom once told me if she found out I was doing drugs, she'd take me out of college. Wow. And why do you think that was? Are they just kind of, are they teetotalers? Are they, you know? My mom's a, she's a, she's a prude and she is very afraid of substances.

I think I like but I with the real, with the realism of look, marijuana is not legal on a federal level, which means they cannot really do studies. So we don't know how marijuana affects a developing brain. Yeah. And, and I just, you know, keeping that in mind and can also alcohol fucks up. You're like, your brain is not fully developed. I think until you're 20, it's like 21 to 25. Yeah. So I think that's a, I don't know. Someone had said that to me.

Like, yeah, we just don't know. Like it could really fuck up your brain. Treating them with, uh, with that amount of respect. But the thing I have no template for is having, is raising a kid in Los Angeles whose parents are in show business. Cause I, that is not, I, and I didn't grow up in Manhattan beach when it was a time where a lot of showbiz people were living there. There were, there were people here and there, but it was a big deal when that happened. And it seemed like Los Angeles proper

Hollywood was, you know, 3000 miles away. It might as well have been. And so I don't, I have no template for how this will or won't fuck her up. And my, my writing partner, Aline, she has two kids who are in college and it's really amazing. Neither of her kids really give a shit about her career. And I think it's so healthy and wonderful because no one wants the kid who's like, my mom just had a great meeting with Fox. And I think she's like in the mix for, you know, you don't want a kid doing that, but I don't. And then raising a kid whose parents in the public eye, I couldn't imagine if people were coming up to me as a kid and going, I'm sorry, is your dad the famous health lawyer, Alan Bloom? I just want to say, wow, the thing he did with

that contract last week, like blew my mind, you know, what would that be like? Well, from my, I mean, my son never really, he never talked to me that much about it. And they don't give a shit. They don't give a shit at all. And in fact, the fact that I'm doing it and they, I mean, and I take them at their word when they tell me that they love me and they seem to like me, you know, and enjoy being around me, but they, anything I do is mostly an embarrassment. So if I'm doing it, it doesn't matter that much. Like my daughter just, I mean, like a month ago had a conversation with me and I don't know, I think she saw somebody being interviewed talking about like a younger comedian talking

about how formative the Conan show was on their sensibility. And she was younger comedian talking about how formative the conan show was on their sensibility and she was sort of talking about like i didn't know that like i didn't know that you're like that that people liked your show and she said she said she's like i kind of looked at like some old bits and they're pretty funny i was like yeah and i said you know i and i was like, yeah. And I said, you know, and I was like, yeah. I mean, because I understood that why would she would, why she wouldn't care. Like, you know, you know, my dad wrote a few books. I mean, granted, they're like about the Russian language, but like, I'm not going to read my dad's books. You know, what are they? You know, it's my dad, you know.

So I understand that. But I did tell her, you know, there are some pretty funny bits, you know, that I could tell you about, you know it's my dad you know um so i i understand that but i did tell her you know there are some pretty funny bits you know that i could tell you about you know a robot on the toilet that just in itself i mean that's pretty good you know um so yeah but they don't they i it would make my skin crawl and whenever they've had friends mostly my daughters told me that she's had friends. She said the kid that has said stuff to her like, do you know who your dad is? That kind of thing. She said that kid is the kid that's the token conservative of her grade, which makes me feel great. Oh.

Yeah, yeah. Weird. great oh yeah yeah weird even in la schools there's a i mean you know there's like a there's a car with like kind of like gun bumper stickers on it that drops kids off and there's a couple of like conservative kids from very conservative houses going to this very squishy you know la episcopal school um so yeah episcopal yeah yeah that's where yeah yeah but you honestly i my advice to you yeah because i know you're asking uh i am i am i have no guidance on this is you just you just gotta go with your gut and if it starts to feel because you know you're a real person with good taste. You know, when you are

in something that is showbiz and gross and yuck. And if you feel that, get away from it. You know what I mean? And that's when- But that's most of my job. Yeah, but you know the difference. You know the meeting that you have with somebody that you're like, oh, I like this person. This person's fun and real and i like talking to him and then the other one where 30 seconds in you're like get me out of here this person is a puke um yeah and you know even so you can still like my my daughter's preschool was a wonderful preschool for children but but it was an awful experience for me. I had so many gross conversations with dads who told me, would want to tell me and engage me in a conversation about which of the preschool teachers they would like to do the most. No.

Honest to fucking God. Oh, honest to fucking God. And I, you know, and I, I wish I, in retrospect, I just kind of walked away from, and there was two, like, it was like two or three of those conversations. I walked away from them rather than going like, hey, man, this is our, this is somebody that's taking care of our kids, you know? And this preschool also had like a roped upip section for the like little pageant when the kids came out and sang christmas songs and stuff wait what do you mean like like vip for parents yes yes for what the parents who are famous yes ew yes yeah wait going back to like dads being like

do you want to fuck like can i ask you a Okay. Cause I feel like there are two types of straight guys. There's the straight guys who are, I mean, and I guess gay guys are like this too, but I'm going to be, I'm going to be gross, grossly generalized. There's the straight guys who are like you, who know guys are gross and, and really are, don't opt into that stuff. Shit is said to them. And they're like, oh man oh man you're gross my husband's like that luckily i think i hope i assume and then there's the guys who are just terrible so i here's my question for you why are why are men so fucking crazy is it it's like it's just like they're they're they're so obsessed with like fucking and their dicks and it seems to warp a lot of men it just seems to kind of warp everything they do is that just like nature i mean all men are fairly libido driven sure say

you like like you know i yes i'm not i'm not somebody that gets into like lots of pussy talk with other guys. And I never have been. And I have had men throughout my life from boys to into men saying, like, you don't really do that. It's kind of weird. Like and kind of, you know, and it's kind of like, how come you because they sense judgment. Yeah. And they're right. They're right.

There's a reason I'm not engaging in that is because, I don't know, there's a time and place for it. I'm not saying that I haven't ever talked to a male friend about sexy things and about desire or whatever, you know, but I'm just not doing it with just guys around the office openly. Hey, here's a break in the schedule. Let's talk about someone's butt. Or let's, you know, like an agent, one of my first agents points to his assistant out the door and goes, it's pretty distracting looking at that all day, huh? Am I right? Oh, my God. Am I right?

And I was just like, ugh. Am I right? Oh, my God. Am I right? And I was just like, ugh. I was like, well, you know, you're handling my career. Ugh. So, yeah, all men are driven that way. But then, like, some men learn to keep it in their pants, you know, metaphorically and physically, and just keep it in its proper context.

The way that women all seem to keep sexuality in a proper context. Well, yeah. I mean, look, there's a spectrum, but it just seems like women is, and I guess when I say women, I'm talking about, you know, cis women, we're just not wired to be like dick, dick, dick, dick, dick. I was listening to a thing on NPR years ago about there was someone who was transitioning, born a woman, transitioned to be a man. And he started taking testosterone. And he said that the second he started testosterone he suddenly was like on the subway and like wanted to like would have involuntary flashes of like fucking women around him like that's what testosterone did and i was asking my husband when i heard that i was like wait is that

what it's like and my husband and my guy friends were, you, it's like an involuntary, it's like a snapshot in your head. And he's like, and it's involuntary and you shake it off. And basically a testament to how civilized you are is what you're saying. Like how well you can just like shake it off and have that not be a factor in your life and how you interact with women. But like, it's so funny because people say, Oh,

I don't know if I could trust a woman to be the head of a company. I don't know if I could trust a woman to be president. They'd be distracted by their emotions. I'm sorry. I've just now heard that most men have involuntary porn snapshots of half the population all day, every day. I don't trust anyone now.

Well, yeah. But yeah, but that's the case. But then men were in charge. And so that's an acceptable level of involuntary id. You know, it's like, that's cool. That's fine. And in fact fact it actually it actually bleeds into competitiveness which is good in a capitalist society you know yeah like

looking at something looking at looking and thinking i want to fuck that is good because if you look at land you think i want to fuck that land you know and that turns into money and that's good you know i yeah no i and i mean and also to the people that say that women are too emotional, like just get in the grave, just fucking die already because it doesn't work that way. You know, I mean, look around. It's that's just that's silly. That's just silly. And it's the kind of, you know, and it's the kind of shit we're still wasting time debating with people who say now women can't be ceos effectively we don't even need to talk to that person i feel like yeah like a lot of people are like basic and dumb tootling yes tootling tootling yeah yeah

tootling tootling yeah well now let's get back to you and your i know we're kind of bleeding into the question that's all right quickly because we were talking about sex and power, not to plug another podcast on your podcast, but do you listen to You Must Remember This, Karina Longworth's podcast? Yes, I have heard that podcast from time to time. So she has a whole series right now about sex and cinema and this brief period with like Deep Throat and Last Tango in Paris, where porn was almost elevated to be cinematic and how that bled into like kind of erotic thrillers in the 80s and 90s. And her big point, which I don't think is a point that she's

just making, but she really focuses about how like these movies really aren't actually about sex. They're about money and power. And especially how when the balance is restored, it is often like the white straight guys who are back in power and it's really cool that she's uh she's doing a really cool deep dive but let's talk about me well well no because now i'm curious yeah what she's saying is when when when balance is restored when people think like no no porn is not art and we're not going to see hardcore sex in the same light that we would say like a Jane Campion movie. You know, we're not going to see Deep Throat along with, you know, some coming of age story from, you know, Tibet or something. When that leak goes out, she still says there's men that are like in charge. You know, like I, I think it's more like if you look at two examples that come to mind and I'm only in,

I'm in the middle of this series right now. So I'm probably just, um, being, I'm paraphrasing her ultimate points, but like, if you look at the movie indecent proposal and fatal attraction, both of those are very sexy,

sexual movies. But at the end of the day, they're about men who hold all the cards. And crazy women who try to destroy them. Well, with Fatal Attraction, a crazy woman who tries to, I think it's Alex in Fatal Attraction, she's very powerful.

And that's like a threat, right? It's like almost an upset in the balance of things. And then Indecent Proposal is, Robert Redford still has all the power and the cards at the end of the movie. It's just someone choosing to kind of walk away from that. And how dare this woman want, how dare this woman and her husband want money and power

like this guy who's actually earned it. Right. It's like, it's subtle, but it's interesting. Yeah, yeah. Well, I was, and I was also, when you said indecent proposal, I was thinking of the other one, the Sharon Stone one.

Oh, Basic Instinct. Basic Instinct, yeah. Yes, another one where she's like a powerful. Yeah, but she's crazy, you know? Like that sex forward woman is crazy. Yes, yes, yes. And then also, I mean, the story on this podcast, she's also talking about how a lot of the cinema getting sexual,

even though it was about women being empowered on the surface, the kind of filming situation was not empowering. Like how Last Tango in Paris, the filming of that had real issues with consent and same with Deep Throat. But I also read that in Basic Instinct, they asked Sharon Stone to take off her underwear and she's like, wait, really?

And they said, yeah, yeah, we'll never use it. We'll never, we're not going to show anything. It's just to give you that energy. So she had no idea that her vagina was going to be shown. Isn't that fucked up? Really be shown. Not fucked up. Really, really, really fucked up. Yeah. Can't you tell my loves are growing? All right. Well, back to you and your folks. What was life like with them? Did you get along with them?

I mean, you know, could you confide in them, even though they were keeping you from getting high and tardy? In certain things. You know, families are complicated. They sure are. There was this dynamic between me and my parents where sometimes it was like we were like three friends or they were like two friends with their like idiot sidekick we did a lot of stuff as a family

I mean we're a big um we're Disney weirdos we're a big Disney family and you're right there so what the fuck yeah why not but literally I had a we had a long pass uh when I was in like second through fourth grade. And sometimes if I finished my homework, we'd go to Disneyland on the school night and just go on a couple of rides. And then I'd fall back asleep in the car. So there are parts that I really connect with them on and they, and they turned me onto like Weird Al and Mel Brooks. Like we have a lot of the same humor and they were always really supportive of me being in theater. But I think that when I, the thing that neither of them could wrap their heads around was when, well, I had some like mental health issues. I think that were very weird and off-putting because no one talked about

mental health. And this is the nineties, but no one talked about it. All of this talk now with the kids and the mental health and the tick tock and the better help. That wasn't around at all. We talked about bullying at school, but no one ever talked about mental health.

I never heard the word depression. I never. And, and I think that I also was very boy crazy from a young age and I was very romantically upset and neither of my parents were like that as kids. My father went to an all boys school and my mom, you know, moved around a lot. So I don't know, both of them just didn't, they didn't know what to do with the feelings and the emotions and the boyfriends. They just didn't, they didn't, it was very foreign to them.

And I wanted, my mom doesn't wear, my mom does not wear a shred of makeup. My mom doesn't wear makeup. My mom doesn't wear a bra. And she just kind of like is uh just doesn't give a shit and i i started wanting to look sexy and wear i mean like thong underwear i remember i was like i want thong underwear my mom was like no and so i secretly with my allowance bought thongs but my mom had always told me only to wear a white cotton

underwear because otherwise it would give me a yeast infection so i was i was enough of a rebel to secretly buy thongs but not enough that i wanted to launder themselves so that so the the no so the thongs that i got were uh white like white cotton thongs which is like if something's going up your ass yeah you don't want it to be white right right and they were and so and i like and i'd hand wash them and i'd i'd dry them on a rack behind our other clothes that were being dried hoping she wouldn't notice the like gross white thongs that like definitely had skin marks. Yeah. Yeah. And did she, did she ever confront you?

I think she didn't confront. I think eventually I was like, you know, I bought myself some thongs. She's like, yeah, I saw. Yeah. Yeah.

She's like, what are you? Yeah. She's like, well, yeah. Eventually she kind of, um,

she gave up on it, but my parents are full of, as all parents are, my parents, especially they're my parents especially, they're full of contradictions. And our dynamic is so specific. I haven't really put my dynamic with my parents into anything I've written yet because I'm like, would this even be relatable? It's just such a, I had such a specific upbringing. I don't know. What do you, I mean, if you can, I mean, this is a big question, but, you know, what did you get from them that you like?

What did you get from them that you don't like? That I like? Well, God, my dad is such a television fan. Yeah. And so is my mom. And so what they would do is every week they would tape on VHS all of the TV shows we wanted to watch. And at the end of the week on Friday, we'd watch everything. So I grew up on every major sitcom. I grew up on Seinfeld, Frasier, Cheers, and we'd watch them all. That was really cool. My parents have always been really supportive of me going into the arts, which is not a given for parents. No, it isn't.

That has always been pretty amazing. Do I not like, well, you know, my parents listen to podcasts that I'm on, so I'm going to be a little more conservative. It'll be healing. It'll be healing. What can I say? What can I say? I'm one of those people that's now saying like, give content for my show with little or no regard of what it havoc it wrecks in your life or it wreaks in your life. Yes.

You know, come on. It's my podcast. I think it's interesting for even the most open actors and comedians out there who seem like they're leaving everything on the table in interviews or podcasts, whatever. From what I've realized, no, no one's sharing everything. Yeah, no. Like everyone's always holding something back because they're aware of the way what they say in public is going to affect their, their family and, and their, and their parents. And so there's always like everything. I I'm so open about myself. If it's like a story about myself, I'll share anything,

but with people in my life, I'm like, okay, well, what's worth dropping a potential bomb into a relationship for a moment on a podcast that's going to make me seem super fucking awesome and open. Right, right. I mean, what would my parents agree that they have? My dad is a dork. He's a weird dork. I think he'd cop to that. I got a lot of weird dorkiness from him. My mother runs, let's say, anxious. Depression runs in the family, so I have inherited that. That's actually many people in my family. I'm raising my hand no one yeah yes

yeah yeah i think it runs oh that was a lot of people's families that's yeah it's a legacy that i've passed on to my not so much my daughter but my son like you're welcome here you go how about a broken brain son yeah and that's the thing is like it's fucking chemical and i'm sure you were raised this way i was raised to kind of believe that believe that mental health and having bad mental health was like a choice that you were just not trying hard enough or that you were weak and that's just so not what it is it's chemicals which is why it's a genetic. Yeah. Actually, that's one thing I have. I mean, my mother has her faults, but one thing that was a gift that continues to give was that from an early age, she saw in me the beginnings of depression and a tough adjustment from her getting remarried.

And I went to what was called family counseling, which was just therapy. I mean, starting at like age 12. And then kind of the whole family would get involved. She saw the good in what's known as the talking cure and also to just have an impartial outsider listen to all of it and help you sort through it. that I ever got was from friends and from people, you know, like, especially when I got to be older and like the first time I started on medication, I had so many friends that were, and I can only see it now as like their own fear. And, and especially because the, you know, they were like improv people and film people and this notion that somehow I was fucking with my brain and they you know they have all this like ridiculous notion of that you're going to become some drugged out zombie and it's you know and I and I and it was really kind of appalling to me at the time because

I was so miserable yeah and and and so inert that like oh i start taking this medication hey things are better i tell my friends and they're like well you don't have to do them all for the rest of your life do you yeah what the fuck people are really yeah people are really i had a friend call me about to go on antidepressants because i'm very publicly on antidepressants have been for a long time and he was me too and he was, the thought of taking a pill for the rest of my life. And I'm, there's something that really, and as a woman, I've been on birth control since I was 19. So I'm like, yeah, I'm going to be taking a pill for the rest of my life. So it's easy for me to wrap my head around because I already take a pill every day. But yeah, you're going to take a pill for the rest of your life. You have a chemical imbalance.

So you're going to take a pill for the rest of your life. How is it any different than stretching your muscles? Yeah. How is it any different than exercising your heart? How is it any different than, you know, if like, if you got a limp, you wear a corrective shoe. Totally. Totally. It's like if you were missing a leg, which you wouldn't be like, oh, I got to wear this.

I got to wear a fucking prosthetic. Yeah, this prosthetic no way i'm stronger than that you know like no it's it's just uh yeah i mean it's getting better it's getting better but it still kind of blows my mind and and i have never been one to be like i need to share my journey with people because i've been, you know, mostly a fucking talk show sidekick. I'm not a goddamn doctor or anything. But I have had so many people, so many, I mean, literally people walk up to me to tell me, I heard you on that podcast. I read that interview and it made me finally seek help.

Yeah, that's amazing it's crazy it's like i and i you know i don't want to because i'm very i'm very sensitive to the notion of making hay out of it you know of like uh the way that's you know because I see some people who are sort of generous in a very public way. And I don't want to be like the mental health guy in a performative way that gets me like, I don't know what it would get me, but I just, I'm, I'm always really like just nervous about being seen as a, a phony that's trying to, you know, take something good and get a little juice off but it's funny because i have the same i have the same fear and i and i was on a show that was all about mental health so i've become yeah yeah it had crazy in the title yeah exactly but i so i've become like

a mental health person but i try not to there is this self-anointed icon ship that's happening online where people are like i I'm a trailblazer, where they anoint themselves. And the weird thing is for how self-aware we've become as a society, I think because of the internet where it's like irony upon irony upon irony, there is very little um taking the shit out of uh cheesy influencers yeah there's very little of that it there's so much sincerity behind it and it can be really good for people but there are a lot of people out there i i agree who like there's just a false, they've proclaimed that they're a trailblazer. So you're like, okay, I guess you are. And I don't want to be one of those people because there's a phoniness to it. But the weird thing is there are very few people who are actually judging those people, if that makes

sense, which surprises me because the internet is so otherwise harsh and ironic. There's a forgiveness of people who are saying, I'm so brave. Look at me, I'm so brave. Yeah. That I guess is sweet. There's, the one that I want to make fun of and I've never been, I'm going to do it right now, but I've never been brave enough, is the people,

the wealthy, famous, successful people that frequently make public declarations of gratitude. Because I think it's such a public declarations of gratitude because i think it's such a check me out like check out my humility granted i know i'm sitting on a pile

of money i know i was born beautiful i know that i you know i i've had a very successful life. But look at me. Look at like how humble I am. Look at how real I am. I'm not one of those phonies. I'm real. So you person that doesn't have these things, you don't need to feel any animosity towards me. And I think like they get to win twice. Like they get to state how fucking cool everything

is for them and not only that they get to seem like some kind of saint for for listing how fucking good everything is and that's like be grateful i grateful. I think about gratitude, but really do you need to say it on Twitter every, every couple of weeks, you know, what's that for? What is that? It's like, like, who's that for? What's that for? And the answer is, I guess it's like getting a high from inspiring people. Yeah. Well, there's a kind of a little industry. It's like part of the little bullshit LA industry of like, here's ways that we can talk about stuff that makes us seem good that that a certain kind of people pedal to each other in which they can all go because it can be like oh i drive a hundred and thirty five thousand dollar car and uh you know my my kids are they're 17 and they're supermodels and uh i have three houses. Wait, I am so grateful for all that I have. Yay!

Yes, yes, yes. You're right, you're right. But also what it is is I think it would be, and I think a lot of people acknowledge this, but I think everyone needs to acknowledge, almost everyone should be required to say in any Twitter post or Instagram post, hey, I'm partially doing this for the attention. Yeah, the attention and the rush of dopamine I get off the attention.

If I didn't need this rush of dopamine or if it weren't part of my livelihood, I guess I wouldn't be doing this, right? I wouldn't be posting it. So I think that also it's part of that is like, well, what am I going to post? Huh? I want, I want that like good feeling from posting. I have a lot of followers. I want to stay famous. I can't post about my nice car. I can't post about my kids. Cause like, ah, they're just like too hot right now. And people find it alienating. Well, what can I post about that will still give me that happiness, but, but make me seem down to earth. Oh, gratitude. I think there's just like, there's a, there's a reaching for that. Cause every time I post it's a hundred, it, there's just a, there's a, there's a reaching for that. Because every time I post, it's a hundred, there's always a part of it that's for attention.

Of course. Even if it's for like a political cause. Of course. Sure, there's a Russian feeling like I'm making a difference by posting a thing, but there's always a part of it that's for attention. For attention. And I think that lack of acknowledgement that like you're, yeah, okay. Posting that you drink, everyone should hydrate, but you're also doing that. You don't actually, you sure you want everyone to hydrate, I guess. Right. And it goes into all this shit about, my friend has a book coming out about the wellness industry and a big point that a lot of the wellness industry, even though it's about quote unquote wellness and self-care, it's really about losing weight. And it's really about looking hot. And so it's all just code words. One of my pet peeves online, and I know I'm an asshole, but I'm a pet peeve, is when someone has like a size zero,

you know, classically perfect body and they post about loving your body. I'm like, yeah, okay. That's easy for you. And I, and I know that some people are coming at it from places where they've had body dysmorphia. I get it. But I feel like half the people preaching body love have the ideal body. So I'm like, well, if you don't feel good about your body, how am I supposed to feel? You're a size one. I'm a size 12. Christ. Yeah, yeah.

But you should feel good. You should feel good. Which is kind of like, yeah, try, you know, pack on some pounds and then tell me that you feel good. I know. That's what I always secretly think. I know. Whenever hot people are like, don't care about what you look. I'm like, great, gain weight.

Yeah, yeah. Let me see it. Let me see it. But I know that that's unfair. I eat whatever I want. I know that's unfair. I know. I'm the same way. it let me see it but i eat whatever i want i know that's unfair i know i know that's an unfair thing to say because also i'm sure some people would look at me preaching about body stuff and

they're like fuck you you're skinny i know that's a shitty thing but in the deep recesses recesses of my mind i think the same thing i and i and i'm there with you and it's that's why like i i you know i stay out of a lot of stuff. Like, you know, I have things that I, because I bitch about a lot. I mean, I'm good at it. And so I will. But, you know, there's also two. There is, I post on Twitter, you know, I post jokes because I like, I write jokes.

I think of jokes. I think of funny things. And instead of turning to the person next to me, if there's no one there, I like I write jokes. I think of jokes. I think of funny things. And instead of turning to the person next to me, if there's no one there, I put it on Twitter. And then it's like it's a fun joke. And I and I can, you know, I like it. It's something I've been doing since I was a little kid being funny for people. And then they laugh and it's all good. It's like a little transaction where everybody feels good.

But I also like will post about politics. And that is such a grandiose thing for me to do. Because what's at the core of it is my belief that the way that I think is the way, it's good, it's true, it's right. So there's so many people out there that just have not come to the same place that I'm at. So if I let them know, maybe it'll hip them to this. But I mean, that's basically the engine of any political change is somebody going, there's a better way to do it. And then people that don't know that go, oh, okay. somebody going, there's a better way to do it. And then people that don't know that go, oh, okay.

You know, so yeah, but there is at its core, a grandiosity that there is in show business in general, because the notion of I'm going to get up on stage in a room that's dark and heavily outnumbered with a room full of people, but I'm going to get up on stage with all the lights on me and everyone should look at me and listen to what I say because it'll benefit everyone. Yeah. That's grandiose. Yeah. Like, that urge is grandiose. And I just think that that grandiosity has spread to everyone where it's like everyone

gets to feel that way on social media. They get to kind of dabble in that, you know, getting high off your own fumes of, I'm just, I'm opening eyes right now. You know, I'm letting people know, you know, you know, because also too, it is like, the person with the size zero body still probably fucking hates themselves.

Well, that's, and that's the thing is that, and that's why I know it's erroneous to there there's a death protest too much in a lot of people who post about self-love because if you have self-love why are you why are you posting yeah yeah yeah i'm not saying that's everybody but but i think that is a lot of people and so yes someone with a size zero body they look in the mirror and that's not what they see. All they see are imperfections and they've gone through a body journey on their own. But because I have a complicated relationship to my own body, especially post-childbirth, I am secretly jealous of people who are skinnier than I am. And that's where it comes from me. I see those people posting about their bodies and I go, well, fuck you, then gain some weight

because I'm fundamentally jealous. The other day we saw a woman walking down the street with it wearing like a kind of a see-through, it was like almost like a see-through tuxedo. And you could see her bra and underpants. And instinctively I went, no. And it wasn't because I was policing. You verbalized it?

I went, no. Well, I was in the car, so she couldn't hear. I went, no. And it wasn't because I was policing. You verbalized it? I went, no. Well, I was in the car, so she couldn't hear me. I went, no. And it wasn't because I was policing what she was wearing. It was because if this is a trend now, I know I can't pull this off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I wonder if that's a lot of actually what people like slut shame, you know, for what women are wearing. I wonder if I know that part of my

motivation, I wonder if there's a secret jealousy of like, well, I can't pull that off. So when I see these teenagers with their crop tops, I'm just like, there's a part of me that tsk, tsk, just because I wish I had that body. There's a self-loathing inherent in all of that judgment. Every time I'm like, I see someone, I'm like, you must be cold. Inside, what I'm really saying is I don't like my body. Right. But there's such pressure for me to like my body because everyone tells me you should like your body

and your body housed a human and oh my God, love yourself. You're beautiful. But like, so then that makes me hate myself more for not fully loving my body. No, I just kind of come down on the side of, and I don't talk about it much. But, you know, like I have felt like the fat kid my entire life, even when I, you know, lost weight, even, you know know i look at pictures of myself much thinner than i am now and i look at that picture and i go damn i look pretty good back then and i think and i still fucking hated myself yeah i still thought i was a big fat fatty who

threw his own just because he's lazy and doesn't work hard enough and can't keep the fork out of his mouth that that fatty was you know like i still was like oh you piece of shit and i'm looking i'm like that's not a piece of shit that's like a you know like a okay looking you know fit looking healthy human being yeah and i just nowadays i just kind of you know i've always felt i mean, one of the keys to adulthood, and I don't think I'm the first person to come to this, is two things existing at once. And it's so hard for people to wrap their minds around. But I hate my body. I hate myself.

But I love my body. And I love myself. And, like, I can have a satisfying sex life and I can even sometimes feel like somebody's looking at me and they think I'm attractive. But then I can also, you know, I can walk by a shiny storefront and go, oh, my God, how does that big fucking cow walk around all day, you know, without being embarrassed? And they just coexist. And you just, it's like this sort of ever teeming war going on, you know, that, that I just kind of like, eh, yeah, that's, you know, we're, our big brains allow us to have, to hold these two competing ideas all at once.

And, and I know the, I understand how unhealthy to have such a shitty attitude about myself is. I understand that. And that's why I say the reason I can kind of rest on it is that I also think like, if I was going to the doctor and the doctor was saying, you're going to die, I would do something. But the doctor's saying like, you you know blood pressure's a little high here's some medication for that you should lose some weight it'd be great if you could lose some weight you should exercise more and i'm like yeah okay um and as i get i understand too that there's a as it gets older as you get older it's like a little more imperative you know it's like you can't you can't i mean you know my 20s just like, I wonder how much booze and drugs and food I can pour into this thing without just completely falling apart.

Oh, those bodies, twenties bodies are amazing. It's like brimming with stem cells still. Yeah. Or just, you know, and things like, uh, stay out till four or five o'clock in the morning, tripping on something and then go move furniture all day. Like for 10 hours, like with literally like a half an hour of not even sleep, just kind of lying down and closing my eyes for a minute before I have to go work moving furniture.

And now just like, Oh my God. Oh, first of all, staying at staying out past 11 o'clock is just, that sounds like crazy. Like, how am I going to do that?

But yeah, it's, I mean, it is, it's, it's, it's a very complicated thing to live in this society and to, and to have all this programming that comes into you. And I mean, and I'm guilty of looking at, I'm guilty of looking at heavy people on TV and going like, oh, sweetheart, you should not wear that, be there, do that. You know, I have it all in my head, too. You know, I have all that kind of shame that I project onto other people. And all I can do is just trust the people that love me and still kind of like love me and love my body enough to derive enjoyment from it yeah i think occasionally i look pretty good you know like i dress up well or

you know and like i say a lot of it is like trusting somebody that's like says you're attractive because you know for years the the instinct is to go like shut up you know no i'm not well now i go okay yeah thank you you know try to at least yeah i'm just really vibing with everything you're saying i like especially when you said what you've learned as an adult was the ability to carry two contradictory thoughts at once like i know that one of the questions theoretically we'll talk about or we'll talk about this podcast is what have you learned? And I feel like it sums up what I was gonna maybe say, which is we're not taught how to see gray. We're not taught how to see nuance. And we're not taught how to see that a lot of things in life contradict each other, that two things that seem like they contradict can both be true. We're just not. And I don't know if that's critical thinking skills. I don't know if it's because we're taught to see things as either or. I don't know if it relates to that. We're like fun. Humans are fundamentally tribal. And so part of how we evolved was to see, okay, I'm in this tribe and you're in that tribe. And so I, yes, yeah. To move beyond the binary people have most people, I think, have a lot of trouble with that. And it's just, it's a thing that is left over from childhood that I think we all have really a lot of trouble getting past in some people more than others.

And that's what I am trying to do. Like my whole life is my kind of goal is to, well, you know, practice love for others and self-love because I'm so inspirational. I've been writing all this down. Thank you so much. And then I'm going to repost it. Okay. also get past the binaries that I have in my own mind that are either hardwired from nature or hardwired from nurture. And it doesn't really matter where they come from, but that just seems to be the key to being happy and being kind to people is just getting past these, these black and white things. And I feel like I, I don't know, I've brought this up in other podcasts,

but just because it's something I think about a lot. I think about a lot. And I think also trusting the people that love you and what they say. And it's one of the reasons I got off Twitter is I was telling myself, oh, well, I need to be on Twitter to get, you know, the full spectrum of what people think.

But no, I really trust the people Twitter to get the full spectrum of what people think. But no, I really trust the people I'm close with in my life. I don't think I surround myself with yes men. I've been with my husband for almost 15 years. We call each other out on our shit. I'm pretty sure that any criticism I need to hear, I'm going to hear from the people that also love me and know me. And that's a realization I came to kind of recently. Well, and also, too, I mean, just in my opinion, your work is so revelatory anyway.

Oh, thank you. No, absolutely. You are what is called, and it's always so strange because like a brave performer. But it's like you're not rushing into a burning building no you're just you know it's like you're just you're just i i noticed it very early on in comedy uh women in comedy and just there was a power to women that were willing to be really ugly like and show whether it was physically ugly or like in their actions to be ugly and people go nuts for it they're like oh my god the power in that you know like she you know she's broken the chains of the patriarchy and she's lost her concern about her attractiveness

just for a moment and for a laugh but still yay know, and your work has had that. And it's what, it's what's like great about it. And, you know, and that like crazy ex-girlfriend, that show was like about, you know, somebody that was very, very complicatedly damaged and it was, you know, accompanied with music. was uncomplicatedly damaged and it was, you know, accompanied with music. It was, and that's, you know, that's really, it was not about how cool you were and about how, you know, and I mean, and it kind of, I mean, I know that it wasn't you, but it kind of. Oh yeah, totally. You know, you know that there's gotta be some autobiographical stripes in there. Oh yeah. So you're already, you're already critiquing yourself in the way that you're

presenting yourself in your work. So yeah, fuck those people on Twitter. That's a very good point. By the way, I think I've told you this, but it means so much to me that you watched that show and I respect you so much and that means a lot. Oh, thank you. Yeah. I watched it with my daughter, especially she was crazy about it. And so we watched it and there's lots of stuff there's lots of stuff that i watch with her and it's just a whole big other layer of enjoyment you know it's just it's like i can like it on my own and i watch the show on my own frequently but when i would watch it with her it was like an extra contact high of just because she's she's seeing it from

a dip i'm looking at it and i and when i watch comedies i just am seeing the seams i'm just seeing the construction you know so i'm enjoying it but i'm enjoying it with this very like oh that was nice you know that was a good transition oh that's a good callback or whatever you know and and she's just viewing it as what an exciting world of complicated people that's centered on a complicated woman. You know, and so it was great. I liked it. Anyhow. So, yeah, no, I, you know, I'm the same way with Twitter.

You know, I now just if people say shitty things i usually just block them because i just feel like this is my twitter this is my experience i if i don't i don't need some shitty person telling me i'm wrong about guns fuck you bye you know um because i'm not wrong about guns no uh and and and so i just but also I do have, I have developed a really thick skin from Twitter that I don't think is all bad. I don't think that, I can take a lot now. I mean, but I always was kind of, because now, you know, you fat, worthless piece of shit. You just rode Conan's coattails. Fucking yawn. Like, yawn till worthless piece of shit. You just rode Conan's coattails. Fucking yawn.

Like, yawn till the end of time. Yeah. You know, I'm overweight. Gosh, way to go, detective. You know? You know? And like, you know, oh, and I rode Conan's coattails.

Oh, you mean I was on a, I played a, you know, a consequential role in a very well-respected show that was on the air for 30 or so years? Oh, yeah. That does suck. What an asshole I am. Yeah. What a fucking has-been. You guy that probably buys swords at the mall.

You're right. They always have swords. Yeah. That I know. And it's always like, yeah that i know it's all and it's always like too i just love to somebody will say something you know just just horrible like some horrible caveman remark and then you look at their feed and it's just sports here's my ideas about sports and sports and sports and sports it's oh. All right, sports fan. Good job. And if that person came up to you in real life,

you'd be like, and said that to you to your face, you'd be like, what? Get out of here. It's just because it's in print, not print, but because it's in words. Yeah, yeah. It can become, and I think this is everyone who reads anything shitty about themselves online.

It's not that person. It's you. It's you saying your first worst fear or it's the person you admire most everyone who says a shitty thing about you is the smartest person in the world who knows your deepest insecurities yes yes well it's a it's the old thing that many people talk about in a in a in a show in an audience that is a sea of smiling faces but there's one sourpuss with a you know with almost a frown yeah it's the only person you can see what is that it fucking it also it well so recently i found like this is a whole other thing but i found an

interesting link between uh uh, anxiety, the anxiety that I've always known I've, I've had and, um, other parts of myself being like, oh, they're all, they're all kind of aspects of ADHD, which I've kind of have always known I had elements of, but I got a therapist who was like, no, no, you, you have ADHD. And there are so many elements of ADHD. I didn't understand, but one of them is something called rejection sensitivity dysphoria. And it's people with ADHD are actually more hurt by perceived rejection because from the way it was described to me, and I'm still learning about it, is that you're dopamine seeking, which means you're, you know, you're pleasure seeking. And when something is the opposite of that, it's all the more kind of devastating. I don't know if it's a chemical drop. And, and I think a lot of artists have ADHD. I think there's a,

I think there's a part of creativity that, that is that. And so you get people who are both putting themselves out there and being vulnerable in public, but then are also inordinately sensitive to criticism. I think this is a lot of people. Absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, I've always said it, to me, I've said this before, to me, one of the most amazing phenomenons of our world of creative people is the whole concept of awards shows. Oh, my God. Which is just and to me, it's always and it's always struck me, you know, going to them and sitting in them because I have so often sat in the Emmys in the audience at theys, and felt like I wasn't one of the cool kids. And it was just, it felt so like, oh, there's my friends,

like people I know who are over there, and they're on bigger shows, and they're getting more attention, and oh, they're just, they're so cool over there. Oh, and look who my friend is talking to. It's, you know,ny bigwig and all you know i love his work he's fantastic yeah scientists though whatever uh you gotta have your hobbies uh but i i'm i just have always marveled at here is a room full of people who have made it

in a world that does not allow you to make it very often. They have beaten the odds. They are all successes just by the fact that they are in that room. And they all sign up for the chance to be a loser because they group them into groups of whatever, seven or 10, and six or nine of them get to go home

feeling like shit. And it just, it feels to me like we are rejection junkies. Oh, that's such a good point. Even when we get to this level where we have, you know, we're paying mortgages with showbiz money, but we still once a year got to put on our fanciest clothes to get judged in our fanciest clothes, to get judged for the work that we do, and to go home probably feeling bad. That's such a good point. You know, to me, it's just the craziest thing. And also to inject competition into this.

Like, why? You know um it's already monetized well the origin okay well i i and this is beside the point but you know the origin of the oscars it okay i'm gonna paraphrase and get this wrong but i find this fascinating there was a vanity fair article about about it like years ago. Basically, Louis B. Mayer was getting spooked at the Teamsters. He was getting spooked at the crew joining unions because he tried to have the crew of his movies build him a beach house, but build like they build a set. And they were like, no, we're not going to do this. We're in a union now and he was like the fucking unions oh shit what happens when the actors start to unionize that's gonna suck we gotta distract them okay let's something let's create something that sounds like a union and isn't but it isn't we're gonna call it the academy of uh fucking motion picture arts and sciences but it's not a union but it's gonna sound like a union and we'll have we'll throw them an award show every year. The Oscars was created to be a distraction from starting unions.

From unionizing. That's fantastic. Isn't that amazing? Yeah. And part of the reason I wanted to grow up and be an actress was, of course, seeing the Oscars and the Golden Globes and the Emmys on TV. But now that I'm actually working, I had this thought the other day, that's not the job. Yeah.

That's 90% of what you see the job is when you're a kid and know nothing about show business. But the job is going to work and knowing your lines and making a show with hundreds of other people who don't get to go to the award shows. Yeah. Yeah. And a lot of it is because Louis B. Mayer didn't want the actors to form unions.

Yeah, yeah. No, yeah. It really tickles me. Yeah, this glorious celebration of us is really just kind of keeping us in our place. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, I have kept you plenty long enough. No, this is awesome.

And I didn't even answer your three questions. That doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It's my podcast. I can do whatever I want. But I mean, but tell us, first of all, what you got coming up, you know, get them plugs in. And then, but, you know, and you kind of already answered, you know, like, what have you learned? I mean, you kind of answered that for me. I mean, I wrote a book last year, and now it's out in paperback called I Want to Be Where the Normal People Are. And you can buy that, assumedly, wherever books you're sold. You know, try to help your local indie bookstore if you can. Yeah. And then I'm on this show reboot that'll be coming out, I think, in the fall.

And I don't know. Where's that on? Hulu. Oh, Hulu. Oh, cool. Yeah. And there's like a lot of really cool people on that, don't know. Where's that on? Hulu. Oh, Hulu. Oh, cool. Yeah. And there's like a lot of really cool people on that, isn't there? Oh, it's awesome.

It's Keegan-Michael Key, Judy Greer, Paul Reiser, Johnny Knoxville. It's, and more. That's, oh, that's a fun bunch. It's really awesome. And it's been kind of just a, not to be trite, but like a master class working with all those people. And yeah, I have an Instagram. You can, I don't know, announce all that shit. Well, what are you hoping for?

Is there something that you're, you know, is there a dream project? Or is there something that you're kind of aiming towards that you want to get done? I mean, I have a sketch show right now that I am waiting to hear if it's getting ordered to series. So, you know, I'm in the kind of limbo of, but that's, that's kind of, God, I hope that gets ordered. And then, and then Aline, Aline and I are doing another, we have a pilot with Hulu that we're also kind of just waiting to hear if we're going to film it. And so those are two really important things. And then I, I have a whiteboard behind me. That's a list of all of the things I should be working on. I'm also, i'm working on a new special and so i've been workshopping that kind of once a month at dynasty typewriter here in la oh great great uh and that's very

important to me as i want to i need to come out and see come out oh i'll get you no need to pay i'll get you a comp well all right i mean i have moneyanted, I don't have a job per se, but I have money. I have podcast money. Oh, well, that's... That's like I get four nickels every podcast. And the thing is they could just give you two dimes. I know. I know.

They could. Or just what about a quarter? Would it kill you? Would it kill you? Anyhow, Rachel Bloom, thank you so much for taking time out of your day and and and talking to me it was really a fun great talk uh and you know you're the best oh gosh anytime thank you thank you it was it was a fun conversation and that's you know i i very rarely talk to people I don't want to talk to.

And you were somebody I definitely wanted to talk to. Thank you. I think that's reflected in the conversation. You know, people, you can give me feedback that I won't look at if you want. Right, just scathing reviews on iTunes. Yes, yes. All right, well, thank you all for listening. And I'll be back next week with

more Three Questions. Associate producers Jen Samples, supervising producer Aaron Blair, and executive producers Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Make sure to rate and review The Three Questions with Andy Richter on Apple Podcasts.