The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Rob Corddry

Episode Date: March 3, 2020

Actor and comedian Rob Corddry talks with Andy Richter about growing up in Weymouth, MA, early days at UCB and landing at The Daily Show, and bringing Childrens Hospital to Adult Swim. Plus, Rob shares his plans for future retirement.

Hi, everyone. This is The Three Questions with Andy Richter, and I'm talking to Rob Corddry, right? That's who you are, right? Yeah. Okay, because that's who they told me, but, you know. Yeah, yeah, Rob Corddry. We met a lot of white guys named Rob in comedy.

We met many times. We're friends, I feel like. We've known each other. I've been to your house. That is true. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry.

Yeah. I think I put an ornament on your Christmas tree once. Yeah, well, that was the old days. I don't think I'm going to be hanging many ornaments this year. You know what? I would love to see you play a bad guy, like a Dabney Coleman. I would fucking love to. I think you'd be good at it.

Because I'm kind of a dick. I think you'd be good at it. I can actually be kind of a dick sometimes. I'm sure you, I've never seen that side of you, but everybody can. But also, I think you have that quality. You're a likable guy. You don't necessarily, at least from my perspective, have to try to be likable. You're just likable.

And so it's those kind of likable guys that- You're right there with me. I think it's the same thing. I'm sort of speaking from experience in a way. Because people have used that word with me forever. And I'm sure they have done the same thing for you. And that's why I've played sort of more usually like arch or kind of detestable characters. Yeah, because you can get away with it.

Because you can still like, you know, they still like me somehow. Right, right. Yeah, see, I just have always, well, I think also, too, because being so – being on the Conan show so early in my career was so formative that I was kind of like, you know, sort of the base notes to his high notes, you know? Yeah, that's interesting. And so I was always sort of, I don't think they ever like looked at me as like the bad guy. And also too. Of course. Filling the talk show template of, and there were old, like especially in the early days, we would get, and I loved it. We couldn't get like top names.

So we'd get Shelly Winters. You know? Yeah. We'd get like, I don't know, like Norm Crosby. Pastor Prime Winters. And it was fucking awesome. So great. Like the first time Larry King was on, he fell into that pattern of you're the host

and you and I are kind of equals. We talk and then there's this fucking idiot over here that we can, you know, like if we want to take a poke at somebody, here he is. Fatty's right over here, we could you know like if we want to take a poke at somebody here he is right over here you know and and from the very beginning when people did that the audience was like no no no he's our fatty how dare you you know and and to be fair larry king was just going on and larry king was actually the first person on that show to ever make a point to say, like, how much I contribute on the show. Oh, that's nice.

He said how much I contributed to the show and how good I was at what I did, which I will always, you know. It's one of the weird things in my life is now Larry King is sort of like, you know, like an ex-uncle. Like somebody my aunt divorced 30 years ago. I couldn't wait to find out what you were going to say to that. He's sort of like my, I don't know, lover. I don't know what you'd call it. Right, right. Yeah, once he gets those suspenders off, he's a totally different beast.

Different dude. Damn. Yeah, not 99 years old in the sack, I'll tell you what. I always, the downside though of that, of like the, and it's not so much anymore,

but it used to be where like, because I was like the lovable normal guy. Yeah. And I think, you know, and I have friends

that are like going out somewhere with Will Ferrell. Yeah. It was one thing when Will, before Will Ferrell was Will Ferrell, but now everyone thinks like, Will Ferrell would be cool with me interrupting his lunch.

And I used to get that a lot too. Like people, I'd be out somewhere and someone would just, with a group of friends and someone, and it's happened more than once. Just come up, put a hand on my shoulder and say, come on over and have a drink with me and my friends. Oh my God, I know. Like, oh yeah, okay, I'll just. Totally. I'll tell my wife and my in-laws.

I got to go. Got to go. These guys want me to do shots. Chad wants me to try on a rugby shirt. Yeah. I refuse so many shots from people. But you get the same thing. Even though you kind of play more, like you said,

arch characters. Yeah. Oh yeah, for sure. Because they are like, you know, they're, they're assholes,

but they're your assholes. Yeah. You know? And, and yeah, people buy me shots all the time and I haven't done a shot. I know, I know.

In 20, what, what, it's the child's business. I know. Shots. When I was in New York just recently visiting my son who just started college in New York City. Oh, wow.

That's right. Boy, your kids are up there. I know. I know. And the Dodgers were playing. It was the playoffs. I don't remember which playoffs. But my hotel was, A, I couldn't get the game on TV for some, you know, it wasn't, the channel wasn't on.

B, my hotel was too hip to have a fucking TV in the bar. So I had to like ask the concierge, where can I go to see this place? And he's like, well, there's Bar Bacon, which was a really fun, warm, friendly place. But it's all bacon-based food. Like it's a bacon-themed sports bar. But I was sitting at the bar. And like I say, they could not have been kinder and nicer to me and, like, brought me a bunch of free bacon, which is just what I need. But, like, I mean, and I do recommend it.

I think it was, like, like I say, I had a really good time. But at one point, they walked by with a tray of shots. And then the stranger sitting next to me and they were like some kind of milky concoction and the the the wait person that walked by was like had two extras and just without wordlessly put them down in front of me and the stranger next to me who was just there watching the game and i and i said like i said uh what am i drinking and he he went, a free shot. Oh, jeez.

Like, okay. All right, then. And it was like, you know, some kind of milky booze. But I was like. They never look delicious, do they? He has a point. It is a free shot. It's a free shot, idiot. And I should have some fucking manners and, you know, not question it.

You're like, but I'm trying to solve a mystery here. Yeah, yeah. How did it end up? But it also, too, it's like, it's the milkiness of it. I do think that if something is boozy and milky, you should be able to inquire.

Was it perhaps a slippery nipple? I don't even know what that is. Because that's a milkier shot. Is it? I don't know. Well, that would make sense.

Yeah. Because of the lactation. Right. Yeah. Because that's, you know, lactating does make a nipple slippery. Never put those two together, but yeah. Yeah, sure.'s, you know, lactating does make a nipple slippery.

Never put those two together, but yeah. Yeah, sure. That's a good breakdown. Yeah, because that's what it's all about. Yeah. That's what they're for. Did you ever go to Bar Lactation in New York? It's disgusting.

It's gross. It stinks. They have good TV stuff. Every game is on. It smells like the SUV that I turned back in when my kids were six. Yeah, it smells like spit up. Yeah. Oh, that is gross.

Oh, it's so gross. Yeah. Special kind of smell that is. Yeah. Yeah. So let's start at the beginning. You know the gimmick of this show, the three questions. Yeah, the concept that you're going to abandon at some point. Right, exactly. Well, I mean, it's start at the beginning. You know, the gimmick of this show, the three questions. Yeah.

The concept that you're going to abandon at some point. Right. Exactly. Well, I mean, it's already, you know, we're here. We are just talking showbiz. Yeah. Right. Um, you're from Massachusetts, correct?

I am. Yeah. And, uh, what, what kind of background? Parents? What kind of Massachusetts? Yeah. What kind of Massachusetts? I mean, are you like Worcester?

No. Or are you fancy? You know? No, what kind of Massachusetts? I mean, are you like Worcester? No. Or are you fancy? No, no, neither. Yeah, Worcester or fancy. Yeah, yeah. I come from Weymouth, Massachusetts, which is 10 minutes, 15 minutes south of Boston. You can see the skyline from Boston. It's actually where what makes- Is it on the water? Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, right on the water near Quincy. That's a beautiful thing about Boston area is there's so much water. It is a great place. Very traditional American sort of place to grow up and beautiful. And we

had my mother's from Maine, so we used to go up there a lot in New Hampshire. And so that's one thing I really appreciate about New England. Yeah. And miss about it. But it's probably the only thing I miss about it to tell you the truth. You don't miss the racism? Well, yeah. Oh, here you go. See, now, not a lot of people know this.

They're like, Boston is a, Massachusetts is solidly blue. I know, I know. Solidly blue. I know, I know. Solidly blue. I know, I know. And when I got into college and found out that they delineate political affiliations by color and that people called Massachusetts a blue state, I was like, oh, no, no, no, no. You have that wrong, sir. No, that is a red state. Not in my experience that is a red state right right it's the south of the north yeah um so racist yeah and so so segregated yeah

and i mean chicago's got the same is chicago is very similar designed philadelphia but they all all these cities are designed to be segregated, you know? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think that they put in – I mean, I'm not an expert on it, but, like, I've heard, like, that, like, when the interstate system went in around Chicago, it was designed to, like, keep the black people over there. Sort of be a tracks, the other side of the tracks. The Irish over here, yeah, you know? Well, the Irish in Boston – well, they're everywhere, but, you other side of the tracks. The Irish over here, yeah. Well, the Irish in Boston, well, they're everywhere, but they are concentrated

in Southie, right? Which is really kind of like, what do you call that, an isthmus? Yeah. Like an island with two, three sides, maybe? Well, that's a peninsula. An isthmus is a land bridge. No, yeah, it's not that. Or an atoll.

No, an atoll is a circle, is an island that- Oh, there's none of those. Yeah, okay. We don't have any of those. Yeah, yeah. So in Weymouth, for some reason, Weymouth, the South Shore in general, I think, a lot of kids I grew up with, their fathers had grown up in Southie. Uh-huh. a lot of kids I grew up with, their fathers had grown up in Southie and they had, which is a very, very tough place, especially when their dads were growing up. Yeah. Yeah. And when I was growing up

and, um, there was, this was the heyday and, you know, Whitey was still there. Yeah. And, um, he means Whitey Bulger, not Whitey was there. Yeah. I, yeah. I mean it in both regards. Just want to let the audience know. Yeah, yeah. Footnote to the audience. Yeah, so, but they all, their fathers got out. They were the lucky generation. White flight. Was there a white flight? No, there was no black people. Just upper middle class.

Oh, yeah, yeah. No black people. No, they just, it was just, if you had to leave, if you weren't going to leave Southie, you were either going to get into crime. Yeah. Or you were just going to just rot a little bit. So these guys got, you know, they were all like pipe fitters and cabinet makers and mechanics. And they made good and got to Weymouth.

Yeah. You know? And is this your dad's parents? No. This isn't my, this isn't even my family. Oh, I see. I'm saying everybody I grew up with. I understand.

I'm just describing, this is like sort of my high school scenario. Yeah. Is that I was surrounded by people who lived in Weymouth, fathers were from Southie, and their cousins still lived in Southie. Yeah. So every time they went to Southie to visit them, they'd get the shit kicked out of them. And they came back with a chip on their shoulder. Uh-huh. Wow. That they didn't live in Southie to visit them, they'd get the shit kicked out of them. And they came back with a chip on their shoulder. Uh-huh. Wow.

That they didn't live in Southie. So that kind of felt meaner. Like they wanted to live in Southie rather than. Yeah. Yeah. Or they liked the badge of it. They liked, you know, like. Right.

You know, it's that thing. It's better than Weymouth, which is mainly just the last name of the talking heads bassist. It's true. That isist. It's true. That is true. That is true. I was actually excited when I heard that as a kid. I was like, oh, now I like this band. I decided to like the Talking Heads for that reason.

And then I just turned out liking them. So it was lucky. Yeah, there was nobody with the last name Yorkville in the clash. No. Johnny Yorkville. Johnny Yorkville. Yeah, right. So what did your folks do?

What was your dad's gig? My dad was an engineer. Drove a train. Drove a – I remember those were the days. Oh, man. Drove it right home to work. Yep it in that was how he commuted to work and worked um what kind of engineer he was a civil engineer he worked for mass port oh wow which is a notoriously corrupt uh semi-public company that runs the ports runs the ports yeah and runs the bridges and runs the tunnels and runs the airport.

And he worked at the airport. You know, his job was- What a shock that such an organization would be a little dirty in Boston. Yeah. Exactly. Construction and the incoming goods. I feel like it's, I don't know much about it, but it's the semi-private aspect of it. They always say semi-public.

Right. But they never talk about that. That private side is where it got really shady, I think. I think the port authority in New York is the same thing. It's like a semi-autonomous kind of thing. Well, I guess, you know, when you're port, ports are never, bad things can happen easily at ports. Things are brought in and leave via ports.

Excuse me. So, yeah. So he worked there. His job at one point was to pollute Boston Harbor, in a sense. In what sense? Well, it wasn't that. You know, I say that it's kind of just as a joke, but he, I remember once when I was a kid and he, somebody from Greenpeace came to the front door and they were trying to get signatures to clean up Boston Harbor. And he said, I really can't sign that.

It would be a conflict of interest because I pollute Boston Harbor for a living. It was true because. But what does that mean? He just like shat in it every day? He was at one point like the director of pollution control. He shouted it every day. That would not make a difference. They used to sell Boston Harbor water in gift stores. And it was dank.

I love that dirty water, you know? Right, right, right. It was really bad. It cleaned it up, I guess, but with no help from my dad. He had to judge how much that could be released. He had to know how much they were polluting it. Oh. It wasn't pollution control was, you know, it really meant like just monitor.

Yeah. Keep tabs. Well, I imagine too. Well, and it's probably, like I say, it probably was his job because pollution builds up. You got it. Like they probably did control how much they could release. But it's got to go somewhere. I can't believe that there were allowances for pollution that you could release into the harbor.

Yeah, it's like rat hair and hot dogs or something. It's not even like the wide open ocean. No. That's bad enough. I know, I know. It's the harbor. I know. It's just swirling around in there.

It's like bathing in three-day-old bath water. I know. Well, it's a very, like, it's a very undeveloped kind of human attitude about, like, what do we do with this? It stinks. It's going to make us sick. Throw it in the river. Put it somewhere. Yeah, exactly.

Throw it in the river. Where I grew up in Illinois, the Fox River was a tributary of the Illinois River, you know, and then it eventually got down to the Mississippi. And ages and ages ago, it was actually used for trade. A lot of industry along it. And in the 50s and 60s, absolutely no regulation of pollution. And there was, I remember as a kid, instances of cancer just were like, it was like all dots, just like lining the river.

Yeah. Just from people eating fish out of the river. That's like in Boston too, the Merrimack. Yeah. The Merrimack's the same way. And it's much better now, obviously. Yeah. But it just, there was just that time where it's like, I got a cement plant and I just

dumped that shit in the river. Yeah. Yeah. It's perfect. Who cares? Yeah. Perfect. Yeah. Yeah. Boy's perfect. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah.

Yeah. Boy. So what'd your mom do? She was depressed. That's good money. It's really done well for me. I shot right to the middle. Yeah.

My dad was like one of these guys. He wasn't really, he was a, he's such a nice guy. Yeah. He's a very nice guy. How old is he now? a nice guy. Yeah. He's a very nice guy. How old is he now? He is 75. Okay. He retired fairly early.

He inherited a little money in a weird way and got to retire early. In a weird way? That sounds fishy. It was weird. Like he murdered someone. He didn't murder. It was a crime of passion. I want money.

Yes. I'm passionate about wanting your money. No, he was, my parents were going through a divorce. And we've talked about this before. Yeah. Because we have this in common. My mother left my father for a woman. Uh-huh.

And. What we have in common is that my dad is gay. Yeah. Just for people that don't know. Yeah, yeah. I just outed the shit out of you man no it's okay

yeah I mean believe me I know you're cool yeah no my dad's been pretty gay for a long time yeah

yeah so it's funny I was wondering about that when we talk about it like what's it how different is it because it's night and day

gay dad and gay mom yeah you know gay mom is like all rainbow flags and, you know, Patagonia and folk music. Yeah. And gay dad's like, what's that all about? Well, there's the gayness is. Does he have rock hard abs? No, no, no.

He was a college professor with like 7,000 classical music albums, like, you know, LPs. Like that's probably the bulk of his estate and it's going to. And most, because he taught, he's retired now. He taught Russian, the Russian language. Yeah. He learned it in the army. Do you speak Russian? No.

He tried when we were kids, but my folks divorced when I was four. My mom had a hard time getting over the gay thing. Was he, oh, so he knew pretty early. Yeah, in my life. Yeah, and I think in his life, but it was still a very fifties kind of thing. It was very like, he couldn't admit it.

And I mean, in hindsight now, we just have the benefit of so much knowledge and so much kind of freedom. Yeah. That like, to me, it's like how my dad is a gay man. I mean, I'm not saying that like he's some outrageous flamboyant creature. No, exactly. But he's just, yeah, that's, you know, like he, you know, he wore suits to high school.

And they went to like a working class high school. He wore like seersucker suits to school. Gays are the best. Yeah. It's like, yeah, that guy, either that guy's, you know, I think that guy might be gay is what we would say today. Yeah, just because he's so put together. Yeah, yeah. No straight man cares that much.

That's true. Has that much pride in himself. Right. But I – in terms of our relationship, there's a lot more in front of him being gay. Of course. That sort of defines it. It is not – yeah. Of course it doesn't define. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And I mean – and I even think that like there are aspects of his personality that were they different? He would, you know, his gayness would, he would wear it differently. He would own it differently, you know, I mean, without getting into too many details, you know, but, but it's like, it got to a certain point where, you know, where, you know, my dad being gay would, was about the same thing as my dad living in Indiana or my dad, you know, liking golf, liking opera, you know, or, you know, or, you know.

Yeah. Kind of lucky for, for a kid too, huh? That, that, that you grew up with being so normalized. I think – well, I mean, my son is gay. And he came out when he was 11 to us, and it was never a big deal. and about basically, because I'm so happy that my son had that path in his youth and was self-possessed enough to know that he was safe to do that. And it wasn't even just, I mean, I can't take all the credit for it. It's also him.

He's very much his own person. He's an old soul, and he never was apologetic about who he was or afraid to be who he was and what self-awareness yeah it's such a it really speaks to absolutely these kids who my daughter as well they were 13 she came out last year she's queer she's uh finding her way in that in that world and and and you know i said to i was you know the I said to, I was, you know, the rock. I was talking to the rock about it. He was like, oh, God, man, she's very brave. And I was like, he goes, why did you hesitate? He was like, you just had.

And I was like, I don't think of it. As brave, yeah. I think of it as, of course, it's not brave. It's more like self-aware. She's, you know, it's normal yeah to her it's not a it's not a a revolutionary act yeah you know and uh and he was like wow that's so funny because yeah he's he lives in florida in the rural outskirts of miami you know and he's like it's so different yeah that's what i was gonna say it's it's situational and environmental that, like, yeah, if you lived in Tupelo, it would be brave.

It wouldn't be as easy. Yeah, yeah. And in fact, she probably would keep it under her hat for a while. Probably. Yeah. Well, who knows? I mean, yeah, she's a little – she likes to be a little outspoken. Oh, well, then, yeah, that's great.

Who knows? Yeah, she might be one of those. Yeah, but I've talked to gay friends about that, and I have learned over explaining sort of like – Who, Conan? No, he wishes. I know. I do too.

Don't we all? So easy. So easy. So easy. So fun. There was not – when I – like the concept of bears, of like big, hairy, like chunky gay men being into each other. Like, holy shit, would that be convenient.

Oh, man. Oh, my God. I'd just be like, oh, what? You like me for who I am? I don't have to keep up this, you know, lifelong campaign of debasement? That's so great. Wow, you know? It's funny. You don't strike me as a hairy man either. I'm not very great. Wow, you know. It's funny.

You don't strike me as a hairy man either. I'm not very hairy, but yeah, yeah. You fit in. You'd still like. I think I'd be like a bear cub. I mean, although I'm large, but I'm just not very furry. That's adorable. Yeah.

But I couldn't be into the furry thing either. I just, I mean. It's a little too much. It's too much. It's too much. I can see my back hair in my shadow. Oh, really? Yeah.

Ladies. Wow. Yeah, when you're like walking around town and it's hot and you take your shirt off. All the time. All the time.

That's me. Waiting for your Uber. Might as well take my shirt off and get some wings. Oh, yeah. Smell like the sun for Andy Richter's podcast. But I've learned from some of my gay friends that when I talk about, oh, my son came out and it was no big deal and he's always been very self-aware and he's never really felt terribly driven to be secret or anything.

He's always just been able to be himself. I sometimes sense him kind of being like, no, okay, great. A little resentment. A little bit, yeah. I understand that. Yeah, I do. And it took me a while to understand it. It's like it's such a difficult – it can be such a difficult path for people that to have me go, well, my kid had it real easy and I was completely understanding and didn't make him feel like shit and didn't disown him.

And they're like, well, good for you. You could say almost 100% of people our age and older who are gay now did not have an easy time. who are gay now did not have an easy time. I show my son's prom pictures to some coworkers here who are gay, and it's lovely to them and also hurtful to them. Yeah. Because they never got to have that, you know? That's sad. And it sucks.

Yeah. But, you know, it is like kind of the things. Even though the fucking oceans are boiling and, you know, fascism is on the rise, it is like I do think it's going to, you know, it is like kind of the things, even though the fucking oceans are boiling and, you know, fascism is on the rise. Yeah. It is like, I do think it's going to, you know, like there's going to, there's not going to be a lot of gay people in 50 years that can't go to prom. Right. If things, I mean, yeah, there's, you know. And that happens so fast.

Yeah. It happens so fast. Yeah, yeah. You know, my mother, I remember when she came out, I was 25, and I'm 48 now. And she – Mazel tov. Thanks so much. I was just, you know, showing you how long ago this was. So it was about 25 years ago that she was – he said, you know, that like, oh, she can't get insurance.

She can't get her wife, you know, share oh she can't get insurance she can't get her wife you know share her wife's insurance she can't uh a you know there's a lot of benefits she'll yeah and she said i won't join never in our lifetime get that yeah well never i was like i don't know you don't know that and i was just being optimistic i didn't know right anything but it turns out to be true that now, you know, gay marriage being legal, it is a, that was the step. It was, it was that, it's the business of being married that got, is getting worked out. Yeah. That is so lovely for them. Yeah, yeah.

It's so, what a load off. Is she still with the same person? Same woman. Oh, wow. Same woman, yeah. Yeah, 25. That's awesome. 25.

That's really great. How much wow. Same woman, yeah. Yeah, 25. That's awesome. 25 years. That's really great. How much is that? 25? Yeah, you said 48 and you were 23. Yeah, 25, yeah. I don't know how to figure that out. Yeah, yeah. Now, is it something that she had struggled with for?

No. No? Never. She just had an awakening sort of? Yeah. She says that she had, remembers now, having a crush on the nurse, the delivery nurse, and my daughter, my sister's, sister Laura's delivery, her birth. So sexy. That she was. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

She's like, oh, she's checking me out. She's like, what do you think? Yeah, you know. Why She's like, oh, she's checking me out. She's like, what do you think? Yeah, you know. Why don't you take a picture? It's not just a one-way on this thing. It's a wonderland. It's a two-way street, baby. Yeah, you want to?

Wink. Then she's like, wow, let's block that out forever. And she, you know, then she went to a seminary school. My mother, she, I feel like she's a frustrated artist. She was, she was always had an artist in her of some sort that was trying to get out. And it was not allowed to be expressed when she was a kid, or at least there was no avenue for it to be expressed. So I think it got lost and I don't know what it is and she doesn't know what it is. And she likes to do a lot of different

creative things, but I think then she was left with, she became a nurse and then she had kids and then she just did the kids and then she felt sort of unfulfilled, I think, and lost. And I probably a lot had to do with, with also with with her sexuality that was unbeknownst to her. Yeah, yeah. And she, you know, she spent a lot of time napping. And then she got, went to seminary school and met this woman, her current wife there. Current, I say current, like, you know, current wife. Yeah, yeah.

Who knows what's going to happen tomorrow. Like, no, no. you know, current wife. Yeah. Yeah. Who knows tomorrow? Yeah. She's here to stay. Those flighty lesbians. Yeah. Um, she, uh,

yeah, right. Then she, uh, she met her there and they, they struck up a friendship and, and my mother's always been very religious. So they had that in common where my father didn't,

uh, Protestant. Uh-huh. Um, but my mother always wanted to very religious, so they had that in common. What kind of religious? Didn't. Protestant. Uh-huh. But my mother always wanted to be a nun for some reason. I don't know. There's not Protestant nuns, you know. I think that's the lesbian thing, you know? Because that's a lot of lesbians. Yeah, yeah.

Or at least that's what all the books were said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I don't know if that's true. You get to hang out with a lot of were up to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I don't know if that's true. You get to hang out with a lot of chicks. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, I think maybe that was sort of her unconscious yearning for that. So she was, yeah, Episcopalian, which is very pretty Catholic.

Yeah, yeah. But, you know, but priest can marry and all of that. All that, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. can marry and all of that. All that. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's just really the ceremony is the same. Yeah. Um, they kind of, yeah, whatever.

Uh, but, uh, and then my father started to, yeah, get worried and they went into therapy. I remember my dad calling me once when I was in New York, he called me and he was like, oh, we're learning so much in therapy. It's great. It's great. It's great. Did you know, Robert, it's like, it's almost like men and women are from a different planet. I swear to God, this is verbatim. He was like, it's like, it's like they're from Venus, right?

And we are from Mars. And so how it's hard to communicate. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep going, please keep going. And then he said, you know, and then one point he was afraid that she might leave him. And I said, dad, you're out of your mind. No way.

And then once I was home for a break and she was out really late she started doing this a lot with this woman and and i was watching tv and i had a view out the window and you're 23 ish about that yeah about 23 24 and uh and i remember them getting they got home it was like one or two in the morning and i didn't look out the window was like, I don't want to look out the window because I knew at that point, you know. Sorry. So, yeah. And so then they, this was all to tell you about how my father inherited a million dollars in a weird way.

Yep. You know. It was a consolation prize. Yeah weird way. Yep. You know? It was a consolation prize. Yeah. Yeah. Little do you know. Really? Little do they know that people get a prize.

You get a million bucks if your spouse comes out of the closet with you. Wait, where was my mom's million bucks? She didn't tell you about it. Oh, fuck. She's a liar. She spent it on. Yep. Who knows, man?

Yeah. She spent it on L.L. Bean clothing. Yeah it on. Yep. Who knows, man? Yeah, she spent it on L.L. Bean clothing. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Well, they make a solid clothing and they have a great guarantee. They sure do. They have a great guarantee.

My mom does have a lot of duck boots. Think about it. So, but a million bucks. Your dad gets a million bucks. From an uncle that he'd met once or something. They said. It's like the cliche. Yeah. A cousin called him up and said, we are the next in line for this inheritance, but there's a fight over the will.

And he was like, all right, whatever. Call me later if anything happens. She called him in a year and was like, you need to get a lawyer. And he was like, what? All right, whatever. I'll hire a lawyer. Let this person deal with it. And within two more years, I think, of fighting these wills, fighting it out in court, he inherited a million bucks.

Wow. Yeah. So I don't know whether that was – And he already probably had a decent pension with a quasi state job. Exactly. Yeah, it's fine. I mean, we had a very, you know, I assume so. We had a very middle class upbringing and we didn't lack anything.

And he, yeah, and like you said, like those public-ish companies have pretty good pensions. So, yeah. So, he was able to cash it out and get that. And now he lives in the villages in florida oh really yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like the the the prisoner but for old people it's insane like the english you know sci-fi show the prisoner yeah it's it's insane wow it's wild yeah they just heart is he remarried or yeah. He remarried pretty soon after. He met his wife at a support group for spouses who have been, what is it called? It's like had gay spouses.

Oh, okay. There's a word for it. Who've been gayed out of marriage. That's what it is, gayed out of marriage. Yeah, yeah. I knew there was like a technical term. Yeah, somebody laid a gay on them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They got like a technical term. Somebody laid a gay on them.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. They got dumped a load of gay all over. Well, and I mean, God, imagine the sexual tension in those meetings. So hot. Yeah, yeah.

It's so, I kept asking, can I go? Yeah, yeah. I checked this, he's like, it's not for you, man. I was like,

come on. I don't know. I like older ladies. Fucking heterosexuality in that room you can cut it with a knife a bunch of flowery

perfume damn oh boy oh boy thanks gays you gave you gave Rob's dad a whole new life

yeah yeah thanks gays now he's in the villages right right so uh now he's in the villages

driving a Red Sox themed golf cart no kidding it's the best oh that's awesome he's loving life that's awesome

he has not a complaint in the world not a complaint in the world he does a crossword every day I think he's like

oh it's because I'm getting dumber you know like all I do is go tailgate line dancing I think just he's like, oh, it's because I'm getting dumber. All I do is go tailgate line dancing at the square in golf. That's all he does. Yeah, shuffleboard. I go to the Red Sox Nation Club.

And I think he goes to the Villages Democrats Society. Oh, that's good. Yeah, yeah. Which is a small group. I bet. Yeah, not a lot of them small group i bet yeah not a lot of them yeah yeah not a lot of them but they're feisty yeah yeah yeah awesome but they're talking about those guys are fighting like about you know municipal laws municipal rules at the villages and taking taking a conservative or liberal side right Right. Of where are we going to build that new culvert? Exactly.

Yeah, yeah. Exactly. I would love to be a fly on the wall for that. And probably could be. So I guess I don't want to be. Yeah. Can't you tell my love's a-growing? Now, did you just have one sister?

Or do you have other siblings? I have a sister and a brother. My brother's an actor. Oh, really? Oh, right. Of course. Yeah. You met him?

Absolutely. Has he been on the show? Has he been on Conan's show? I don't think so. You're asking the wrong guy because- I just sit there every single day. I just know all the guests. It's a fucking, it's like-

It must be a blur. It's an absolute blur. It's such a fucking, it's like. It must be a blur. It's an absolute blur. It's such a weird thing. And I mean, it's also like a feature of just my brain and my memory. I remember the dumbest, most arbitrary shit, and I will for the rest of my life. Yeah, me too. Me too. And then there's like really big things I don't know at all.

important really big things i don't know at all and and i have you know and now because having the unique experience of literally doing thousands of hours of television yeah i can look at and now god they put stuff online now because we got our whole shirt our whole catalog and they'll drop you know like they'll drop things and there'll be and i've even mentioned it on twitter like there was something where i got on this there's like some spa bus that went to the hamptons so while you went out to the hamptons you could you know get your hair done so you'd show up in the hamptons all mani-pedi'd and nice blown out you know and it was a whole remote and i must have been a whole day on this fucking bus. You don't remember it?

Not the slightest recollection of it at all. I relate to that so much. There's something. People will say. Like daily show stuff, I bet. Remember that piece on the daily show you did? Yeah. And they'll describe the whole entire thing in detail.

Yeah. And not a lick of it. Right, right. All completely gone. Right. Or they'll describe things to me and I'll be like, oh, I just remember like my flight was delayed. Yeah. Like I don't remember.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I don't remember being at the Miss America pageant, but I'll remember like, oh, yeah, my flight was delayed or whatever. You know, just arbitrary shit. Yeah. But yeah, no, you know, I know about Nate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, I know about Nate.

Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, he and I, my sister is in higher education administration still in the New England area. Were you and your brother both kind of theater kids in school? He was. I wasn't because I didn't like the kids in the theater in my high school. I didn't get along with them. It was really to the point of almost, there was almost a fist fight at one point. Really?

Because that's what we do in Weymouth. Right, right, right. It's a fight. Right. And you were, you were probably in the bully club, you know, like. I was, this was just, this was a girlfriend thing. Oh. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This was a girlfriend thing. So I was banned basically from that until they left. And I had never really thought about it anyway. Yeah. You know, I didn't really think. I knew when I was a kid growing up watching TV and movies, I was always like, I could do that. Yeah.

I could do that better than him. I could do that way better than him. What a dick. Oh, yeah. Totally cocky. Well, the only reason I'm here today is because of some cockiness I have about it. But never had any aspirations because it was kind of an imaginary job in a way. Oh, same thing.

It's like, how do you fucking? No way. You don't do that. Nobody does that. You stay here. You stay here and you get a real job. Right, exactly. You know what I mean?

It's like saying, I want to be a wizard. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? It's like saying, I want to be a wizard. Yeah, you know. Yes, exactly. No, you wear a white collar or a blue collar, and you go to work, and then you retire. Yeah. What are you, special? Yeah. What are you, oh, we got to roll out the, oh, Mr. Hollywood.

Mr. Big Shot. Get it all the time, too. It's so, such a drag. Oh, I got it. I mean, I used to get it in Chicago. Like, oh, well, here you are. Here he is. Mr. Hollywood. And it's like, okay, well, that's fun.

I'm going to really put you on the Christmas card list. Yeah. Oh, it's such a drag. Like, ah. But that's the way people talk in Boston. I know. It means I love you, I guess, if they're giving you shit. I know.

Oh, I didn't know that the Archduke of Sligo was going to be here. Come on in, Hollywood. Welcome. We're going to get chicken wings. I don't know what, if you probably want all drumsticks or something. They don't come with gold leaf on them. Yeah, right. But then luckily a friend of mine is a cop.

He's like an undercover narc narcotics state cop. His stories are way, we're always fixated on him. On him, yeah. Yeah, he like sets a pick for me. Right, right. So it's good. Yeah, and you're like, I could tell you a story about Megan Mullally. No, no. I just sit, yeah, exactly.

I just sit back. Yeah. So, well then, so did you but towards the end of high school you did start doing plays and stuff i did my senior year yeah yeah i was and i got the way you like hooked i got no not really i got the lead of um of a musical bye-bye birdie yeah i couldn't really sing nobody could though yeah um you were birdie i was birdie the nice Which I find out later, not in the play or the movie. There's no Birdie. And they put one in?

Yeah. I played like a, I can't even think of anything. I was doing a bit. Oh. Out of that juice. That's all right. The juice ran dry. We'll edit that.

We'll edit that. Don't edit that. No, keep that. keep that yeah i want it right all right this is what happens when you bail kids listening this is how do you bail i just bailed i was like i don't want to do that and i backed away well then but so then going to college, you're like, I'm going to do this in college? So, no, I had no plans. I wanted to be a writer. Yeah. And I was rooming with this kid. You went to UMass Amherst?

UMass Amherst, yeah. And that's different than Amherst College, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, a lot different. Was Amherst fancy? Many thousands of dollars different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Amherst is practically, I don't think it's Ivy League, but it is Ivy League.

Adjacent, yeah. Yeah. And my roommate, Cutter, was like, you'd be a good actor. And I didn't know why he said that. And he said, why don't you go sign up for a play or something? And I was like, why would I? I don't know. Get you out of the room.

Yeah. Yeah, right? Yeah. Yeah, so I can have chicks back here. And he signed me up. He signed himself and myself up to audition for a play, and I didn't even know it. And he told you, hey, by the way.

He sprung it on me. By the way, we have an audition tomorrow night. And we got it. We got the play. That's awesome. Yeah, I was two for two. What a fun friend. I was two for two, you know, in my young life.

Yeah, it was kind of cool. I mean, I don't know what he, you know, recognized. But after that, I was completely, completely hooked. I was, I, um, I switched from, I was an English major and I became an English major in theater and English just so I could take the acting classes. I never really finished the, uh, theater major, but, um, yeah, so I was just, um, hook, line and sinker. Yeah. It's really fun. It still didn't become believable, though, like that people actually do this. Yeah. You know, as people, maybe theater.

I could do a regional theater or Shakespeare. I loved doing Shakespeare. Or be a teacher. Or be a teacher, right. Yeah, there's something you can do. And then I think it was my last, probably my last conference or whatever, like with my guru, you know, the acting teacher at UMass, Ed Golden, who was great. He said, and I'm doing a perfect Ed Golden, by the way, right now. Okay.

So do you want to do this thing for a living? By the way, he's taking his right arm and putting it over his head and touching his left ear. Scratching, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Just pulling on my lobe. I'd be pulling on my lobe. That gesture is, there have been people in my life who talk exactly like that, who do that same fucking thing. What is that?

I don't know. Affectation. I don't know. It's so strange. Yeah. It's kind of a power move in a way. It's not exactly arms akimbo, but it is something. Yep, yep.

It's a non-threatening power move. And he goes, I go, do you want to do this for a living? And I went, yeah, I think I do. I think I do. He went, yeah, you can. And that was it. Yeah. And I swear to God, it was like he had given me permission or at least said, like, this is a thing that people can do.

Yeah. Like, I know people who I have taught who are now doing it. Yeah, yeah. You know, so. I have always relied on other people's opinion of me and my work. Sure. To validate myself. Sure. To validate myself. Sure. The notion that you should just be some sort of self-contained bubble of reinforcement, of auto-reinforcement is crazy.

You can't. I have always judged myself based on other people with a lot of like what you said. Our art is neat. We need other people for it to exist. Yes. It's collaborative. Yeah. And it's like you said, some of the best kind of motivators for me were, wait, that fucking guy?

I could do better than that. That's true. Holy shit, that fucking guy? That's true. Oh, my God, I can do this. Yeah. Yeah. And then when I started doing it, I was like, oh, shit.

Yeah. Oh, I'm not as good as these guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, right. Right. How does this guy do it? Yeah. That guy does.

Yeah. But you, I mean, you know. Yeah. You're working. But it's always fun. No, that's always, it was, definitely, that's not a negative, I don't, I never,

that was not a negative thought. Yeah. It was a definitely like, I gotta figure out how. Right. No, it's good. Yeah. Because it would have been too easy.

Yeah. You know, yeah. You know. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's still hard. Right. It, it's good. Cause it would have been too easy. Yeah. You know? Yeah. You know? Yeah. No, it's still hard. Right. It's still kind of, you know, it's, it's a, it's a real fucking, you know, it can be a real shitty life, you know?

Well. And you got it. And there's a weird, you know, the amount of rejection and the amount of sort of like brainwashing you have to do for yourself to like, that's the most important thing. Just keep going. Yeah. Is to, is to not like we were saying before, not give a fuck.

Yeah. Basically. Yeah. Yeah. And, and to, you know, walk in there, not caring in a way that you really have to believe you don't care. I've mentioned this on this podcast before, but like in my early days of going into what could have been very intimidating like early auditions where and then like especially in new york and seeing like familiar character actor faces from the fucking movies and stuff being like and i just you know i felt like a child yeah but i just had this feeling of like, well, I'm here. Somebody in this structure, in this fucking industry, culture, whatever, decided that I was worth being here.

So I got to keep up my end of the bargain and just keep going, you know? That's good. I definitely, if I had worry about it, I think it would be that it was like I was, you know, faking it. Yeah. I was like, I think I'm going to be found out. You know, that old. Imposter syndrome stuff. Yeah, that old thing.

Yeah. And, you know, and I, you know, it's, that's no longer the case. Yeah. I feel like, but that came a lot later. Yeah. So you go to New York after school? Yeah. The day after. Day after. Wow. I graduated and we were in a U-Haul truck driving down to New York City. And do you get like waiter jobs and stuff to support you? I had so many jobs. Yeah. Not waiter. I did temp. I temped a lot. Yeah. I worked for Scholastic. I worked for Scholastic.

Uh-huh. I worked for the Met Museum as a security guard. Oh, wow. Passed out menus for a Mexican restaurant. Uh-huh. I worked the office of an OTB bar that's off-track bedding. Yeah, yeah. The bar underneath an OTB.

I worked, the owner called me his office bitch. And then I started waiting tables from there. And so I started doing, I waited tables for a while. And developed your gambling habit. Your ponies habit. I'm terrible at it. Guys used to come into that bar all day long. They used to wear suits.

Yep. And sit down there and they would just bet on horses all day long and eat and drink. Yep. And they had a briefcase, you know yeah this was their job it's a yeah it's a it's a definitely a culture you know and they were just but their skin was great you know well and especially too like i really enjoy parimutuel betting on races of animals and animal races god

yeah the way you say it makes it really exciting yeah but like now it's the more knowledge

you get because like you know like a fucking horse died at Santa Clarita again like yesterday or something

it's just like what the hell are you people doing over there I was shooting out there and I was like oh I, I think there's, I think racing is happening now. I could go over there and just, you know, place a couple. And then, and I didn't.

Yeah. And I was like, oh shit, they ruined it, didn't they? Yeah. Yeah. They did it. Yeah. They went and ruined it for me. When I used to go to Florida, I used to really, I really liked going to the Greyhound races.

I had no idea. Oh my God. About what a fucking awful. I know. Terrible. And I'll never do it again. Same. But it's like, oh fuck, you know.

When I was a kid, my friend Ray and I used to go all the time. Yeah. To the Pups. Yeah. That's fun. Super fun. And then, yeah, you realize that there's, there's just. Oh, it's.

It's like a sausage factory. It's horrible. It's awful. It's horrible what happens to them. So when do you start like kind of making a living? Like get to, was it the Daily Show or? The Daily Show was the first thing, yeah. Was it UCB before that?

Yes. So yeah. Oh, this is funny actually because, so I went on this like sort of auditioning jag because i needed to learn how to audition i yeah i realized that and i just went out for everything and everything and everything even things i wasn't even right for right finally started booking things and one of them was a sketch group terrible terrible sketch group called third rail comedy in new york that's weird they have an audition for a sketch group.

See, that's the kind of, they also had a writer. Yeah. And it was terrible. And I was like, let's write our own stuff. And I was trying to make it, I was trying to fit that sketch group into this idea I had. So I just left it and made my own. And I found, heard about the UCB theater and,

or the UCB, it wasn't the theater back then. Yeah. I heard, I was like, somebody told me, yeah, it's Andy Richter's sketch group. And I was like, well, I love Andy Richter. I'm going to go see them. And I went and saw an ASCAP at Solo Arts, you know, the fourth floor walk-off dance studio.

And damn if you weren't there doing ASCAP. Oh, wow. Which is, so I probably believed it was your. Oh my God. fourth floor walk-off dance studio. And damn if you weren't there doing a ASCAP. Oh, wow. Which is, so I probably believed it was your, Oh my God. Your sketch group for a while after. That is one of the most flattering things I've ever fucking heard in my life. I can't believe I've never told you that.

Oh, that's so nice. Yeah, this was Andy Richter's sketch group. Yeah, yeah. You're kind of the reason I got into the whole thing. Oh, wow. Yeah, in a weird way. That's great. Thank you.

And Adam McKay was there too. Yeah. And, you know. Yeah, in a weird way. That's great. Thank you. And Adam McKay was there, too. Yeah. And, you know. Yeah, the biggest brain in show business. Oh, my God. Just the funniest, since day one, the funniest fucking guy. And I wanted to learn what he could do. Like, I watched him on stage.

I was like, and Ian. You can't. And Ian. I want to learn what those guys can do. Both those guys. I mean, yeah, you'll do your own version of it. But, like, yeah, you can't. what those guys can do. Both those guys. I mean, yeah, you'll do your own version of it. But like, yeah, you can't. Yeah, you can't.

And so then I just got another, yeah, I got indoctrinated into the cult system. Yeah, no, it was really. It was awesome. It was really fun at that time because they all came out. And I knew Besser and I knew Walsh, but I didn't know Ian and I didn't know Amy. So that was my introduction to them. But I was like one of the few people they knew in New York. So I did.

Yeah. And my then wife would do a lot of the monologues too. Right. Yeah, yeah. But it was really fun. And then just by happenstance, our apartment was two doors down from the first UCB Theater. Yes, that's right. Yeah.

So then it was just like. That's right. It was, you know. That's awesome. We even had a couple of joint New Year's Eve parties. Like, you know, like. Yeah. Where you would like float from our apartment down.

Yeah, yeah. Totally. Yeah. That's really fun. Yeah, it was such a great time. It was really fun. It was a really cool, cool time. Yeah, so, yeah.

And the Daily Show comes from that. Oh, but actually, you know, before the Daily Show, it did. Yeah. Before the Daily Show, you know, we would sometimes, my sketch group, Naked Babies, would perform at the UCB Theater mainly, but we'd also go off to like, remember surf reality, places like that, or the collective unconscious downtown. Yeah.

Lower East. Yeah. The alternative comedy. And they hated us because the UCB was called Conan's farm team. Oh. Because we always used to do bits. Yeah, of course.

We were the guys, you guys would call to come do bits. So I did a lot do bits. Yeah, of course. We were the guys. You guys would call to come do bits. Right. So I did a lot of stupid bits on Conan's show that I still watch. Staring contest. Yeah. So sometimes watch today. The UCB was one of the best things that ever happened to the Conan show.

Yeah. Because it was like, up until that point, we were casting from just New York people. Sure. And it was, i've said this before too it was my first experience of casting people like actually you know i had been in casting sessions when i worked in in commercials when i worked in production in chicago and had watched casting sessions but never it never was like i'm casting a bit yeah and i was very intimidated thought oh it's new new york actors they're gonna be everybody fucking blue nobody funny just i'd see 15 people to do

like the simplest bit and it's like they didn't come to new york for that they are not funny and then when you when you all came and i started to be like you know let's that bit would be good for walsh and that bit you know yeah yes come in here, you know, like Brian Stack, Amy played my little sister in the audience, which is like one of the best character bits we ever had. One of the best characters ever. And, and, and it was, for me, it was, we would write a sketch and it, and that sketch on the page has a, you know, a certain quantity of funny. On the page has a certain quantity of funny. And you can hire somebody to do it. And you really are hoping that they can get that full quantity of funny onto the screen.

You get Matt Walsh, Ian Roberts, you, Amy Poehler. You get 140%, 170% of the funny. Because you guys just you guys bring something we're just dying to be on andy daly you know oh my god and yeah he's a heavy he's a home run hitter oh it's just the best yeah the funniest but i mean it just was like you know like yeah well no shit yeah sorry surf reality but yeah these are really fucking funny people. Yeah, exactly. That are drawn together because of a similar vibe and, you know. It's talent. You know, and whatever, if your biggest problem is being called, like, too mainstream or whatever. Right, right, right.

You're doing something right in a sense. Yeah, you should have. Fuck it, I'm not going to be good anymore. I'm going to fail like these guys. Yeah, yeah. I'm just going to stay down here. But yeah, then The Daily Show came. You know, because when Amy and

Riggle got Saturday Night Live, and Andy Daly got Mad TV and Donna Fineglass, they started, then it became a place where people started to come, like the Groundlings did. Right, right. And The Daily Show came, and Ed Helms and I were hired. Yeah.

Yeah. And so then I quickly turned my back on the UCB theater. Fuck them. Fuck them. Yeah, yeah. Goodbye. Eat my dust. Yep.

Losers. I remember I was once, I had to do a show at 7, the UCB theater. And then I got called down. I was at the Daily Show. I got called down to the studio last minute to do this last minute bit. Yeah. I was like, oh, shit. I'm going to miss my show.

I got a show tonight. I started panicking. And Colbert got right in my face. And he was like, this is your show. This is, that is done. That's over. This, you're doing your show. I was like, oh, yeah. Yeah, that is done. That's over. This, you're doing your show. I was like, oh yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just, you know, relaxed into it. Right, right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, the TV job, I trumps that, yeah. Yeah, I think it was a good choice in retrospect. Over the, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. The half an hour improv show. Right. Now when you, I don't know how that process was, because on the Daily Show and doing those, doing, you know, field pieces. Because for me, like in the early days, I was the one that did the remotes. Like it was, you know, and that was, I think, in reaction to the fact that Letterman would go out in the field and Robert Smigel was like, you know, that we don't want to be so, so sort of like mimicking of, of Letterman in that sense. So, but, and so it's, they started having me do them and I did,

I did a number of them before then Conan started doing them. And, and it was really fucking weird like it's terrible like i remember like one of the first things i did was uh i did a live feed from mardi gras on on fat tuesday and i went down to new orleans the previous weekend shot a bunch you know because there's parades all over the place shot a bunch of stuff at parades and then there was there was like, and then they arranged to, they're like, and you're going to interview little Richard in his hotel room. Oh God. And I was just like, how the fuck do you do that?

What? How do you do that? Awful. And, and so I had to go and like interview little Richard in his hotel room. And you think, listening, you think, awesome, man. Yeah. But it's just, man, it can do things. You don't know how to do that.

And I didn't know how to go down to New Orleans and make a piece of TV comedy out of just walking around parades and shit. You know, you have to make it up as you go along. So, I mean, was it that way? Yes. Yeah. Well, what I did was, I always, I don't like to fly by the seat of my pants. Yeah. So I had some time. They were using me in the studio.

I hadn't gotten a field piece yet. So I had about two weeks before I was sent out. I spent all of that time in the office watching raw footage. Just watching Colbert and Carell. Oh, that's such an invaluable help. Yeah, yeah. Do raw footage all there. see what, watch the piece, watch all the raw footage and then watch the piece again.

Yeah. You know, see what got cut out. What is. You're real smart. Well, it was, I know it was. Yeah, I am. You're right. No, I guess you're right.

No, that's. I mean, holy shit. I mean, it's fear driven, but whatever, man. Yeah. It definitely saved my life there. It gave me confidence to go out knowing that, oh, in these interviews, I can mess up. Like I'd never really done TV before. Yeah, yeah.

I didn't know. Like we could just go, well, let me do that one again. Yeah. Let me do that question again. Yeah. It didn't really, I guess I knew that, but didn't really know what the practical says. But watching Colbert do it with somebody was,

it was just as edgy. It was like, you know, daily show school. Yeah. And so I got very confident and comfortable. Although, you know, those were a grind, man. Yeah, yeah. Going and traveling anywhere, you think, boy, these TV shows have tons, man. Yeah, yeah. Going and traveling anywhere. You think, boy, these TV shows have tons of money to send Andy down to.

You were flying coach down there, and you were like. No, I did fly first class just because of the guild. Look at you. No, the guild. I had never. You weren't into cable because you were cable. It wasn't a, yeah, something. I don't know.

It wasn't a, I guess. You weren't in cable because you were cable. It wasn't a, yeah, something. I don't know. It wasn't a, I guess. You weren't in the writer's guild? I was playing myself. No, we weren't writers. Colbert was the only writer. Oh, wow. And correspondent. Yeah.

Yeah, but you were writing. Yeah, sure. But yeah. Cheap shit motherfuckers. Yeah, well, that's the story of my life right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's just. Yeah, you guys just improvise. Have fun on this take. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's just. Yeah, you guys just improvise. Have fun on this take.

Yeah, yeah. All right. I know. All right. Yeah, but yeah, that's. Yeah, no, it's. That's the only reason I got to fly. It's just union rules.

Yeah, union rules are great. Yeah. They're great. I don't know why we. It was after us. So I get. I don't know why we skirted them. I don't know why. Maybe we them i don't know why maybe we were

a non-union show which is strange to me though yeah um but anyway i it wasn't like we were not hired as actors i think right what it was oh we're hired maybe you were just correspondents every day you were a talk show that's what it was wow we were like a correspondent we were news correspondents or something um how many years was that five five years wow five years yeah yeah uh or four but yeah four and a half yeah um and it was uh yeah those things i loved doing the studio bits yeah they're so easy of course right right and fun and you know cue cards yeah the uh teleprompter teleprompter which i loved same thing i love the teleprompter it's i'm so fucking spoiled now Which I loved. Same thing, yeah. Loved the teleprompter. I'm so fucking spoiled now.

Yeah. You know. Yeah. Some people don't. Some people can't do it. Yeah. They can't, like Matt Walsh has a hard time reading the teleprompter. He's not bright though.

He's, all right, that's a bad example. Yeah, yeah. He's a stupid guy. Right, right. That's like saying, you know, this dog can't tango. You're right. You're right. Well, I have a problem, say, like with an earwig, you know.

Oh, I hate those. I can't. I hate those. I'm useless. Now that's one of the things I usually say no to. Yeah. Yep. Yep.

Always say no to. No. Will not do that. Well, then what happens to get out of the daily show? You know, I mean, are you offered something? How did I get out? Are you offered something? Are you like, this is enough?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, it was about around the time when it was enough. So I was auditioning, you know? And are they aware that you're looking for another job? And are they okay? No, actors are just always sort of auditioning. It's like, you know, I didn't hide it from them if you know um

but i remember telling john like oh i got a call back for this thing he's like all right well good luck man that's cool and then this is a really a great compliment uh in a weird way to be that he gave me i was uh i was out in the hallway and somebody told John that I had gotten this show that was shooting out in LA and I had to leave. And I heard him from the other side of the office

yell, fuck! Like, I was like, aw. Yeah, that's nice. Aw, he likes me. That's nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So stupid. Well, he was gracious, I's nice. He likes me. That's nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So stupid. Well, he was gracious, I should bet.

Oh, my God. So gracious. And still after, you know, continues to be. Yeah. You know, so it's such a great guy. Well, if he continues to be gracious, it sounds like he's maybe a little too gracious to me. Yeah, yeah, exactly. He's pouring it on.

It sounds like he's rubbing it in. Yeah. Listen, I'm so glad you got that opportunity. Yeah. John, it's over. It lasted six episodes. No, listen, it was really great that you got to do that. It was 11 years ago, man. It was tough replacing you, but, you know.

Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Yeah. So it came out here and- It was Seth MacFarlane's first live action show on Fox. Okay. The winner. Uh-huh.

And it was- Don't remember. Sorry. There's first live action show on Fox. Okay. The winner. Uh-huh. And it was. Don't remember. Sorry. There's no reason you should. Yeah. No reason you should. It was about a shut-in, a 35-year-old shut-in who is now trying to venture out into the world. Uh-huh.

And his best friend is a 14-year-old. Oh. So I think after a couple. Yeah. That's weird. and his best friend is a 14 year old oh so I think after a couple yeah that's weird after a couple episodes Fox was like what the

what did we do right right what the hell did we green light yeah yeah this guy's a pedophile yes and so

the whole young ward thing doesn't really fly anymore no no no no no not cute so yeah

they got rid of that. And then the writer's strike happened and I spent a year panicking. Oh, yeah, yeah. Making no money. Yeah. You know? It's terrifying. It can be, yeah, because I, when Andy Richter controls the universe,

9-11 happened. Which was so good to TV. 9-11 banged the economy, you know, and everything. I mean, and I don't mean to say like, oh, poor me, 9-11 happened, but it's just, it's a chronology of what happened. It's worth saying that 9-11 had an impact on the economy and everyone's jobs felt a ripple. On the economy and- Absolutely.

Everyone's jobs felt a ripple. It was a very successful operation in terms of disrupting this country and harming us. Yeah. And what also too, I mean, I remember is that there had been some kind of strike on the horizon, whether it was an actor strike or something. And at that time, all the studios pushed production real fast like they you know so that there was going to be a lag of like where there would be normally the production would be spread out over these next four or five months right it all got you know like there was like this sort of ejaculation of production to get it under the wire before the strike that didn't happen happened. Yeah. So Andy Richter controls the universe got canceled

and I didn't do a fucking thing for 10 months. And it's like, and I had a little kid, like a two-year-old. I had a one-month-old. It's terrifying. Yeah. Those are bad days. Yeah. But you just it's terrifying. Yeah. Those are bad days. Yeah. And, but you just, you know, I don't know.

You just kind of, again, it's like you brainwash yourself into being like, it's going to be okay. You know what I did? Yeah. I did a, in that, in a sense, I taught myself, I said, well, I have all this time now. Yeah. So what am I going to do? How am I going to spend my days? I taught myself how to be more

productive when for when i do have a job you know really and i you know and um i found um you know a lot of different ways a lot of different like uh methods like the get things done yeah i love gtd like i got really into that yeah yeah and the whole thing is about clearing your mind of any clutter any stress um anything that you have to do is gone it's it's out somewhere else to be organized later yeah and that creates it gives space for ideas to come and i had the idea for children's hospital because of that oh wow so i spent many months doing that, you know, like basically being productive at learning how to be productive. That's – And then we could do –

God damn, I want to go back in time and do that myself. Because what I did was got high and got good at golf. Yeah, well, the – Municipal golf course. That's what I did. That's what I paid dividends later. Yeah. You know.

It was always like i should really write something oh boy yeah i golfed i would golf and i'd be like oh i'm not gonna do this yeah no this is this is too i'd get obsessed with this oh i and that's what that's what happened is that it became and it was such a such a uh you know i don't know what the, not projection, but like such a misdirected sort of like living in denial of like, you know, like I want to get to the point where I'm not embarrassed by my golf game, says the guy that doesn't have a job, you know, and a fucking three-year-old kid or whatever. Yeah, right. Good idea. Yeah, that's good. Good job, whatever. Yeah, right. Good idea. Yeah, that's good. Good job, buddy.

Yeah. But anyway. But yeah, no, if I had it to do over again, I think I'd work a little harder. I mean, but, you know, I struggle to find something to do. And I just struggle with plain old ADD and sitting down to write shit. Yeah, yeah. No, same, man. And this was like, this was one of the things, the things i mean you know luckily my daughter got

sent to children's hospital because she had an elbow thing and and that's where i got the idea you got the idea wow because i was ready to have an idea it was kind of like a patch wasn't that that robin williams movie wasn't sort of it well wasn't it sort of like inspired by no no not at all not at all as a matter of fact if anything anything, Patch Adams like did us a disservice. Oh, really? Yeah, by just existing. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, it was more like, you know, I would watch Grey's Anatomy over my wife's shoulder sometimes and be like, this show.

You mean you were fucking? I was. So you've heard of it. We do it in the style of dogs. I understand. Yes, yes. A la canine. No, I just watch all my TV over my wife's shoulder.

I'm scared. She hates it. Yeah, and just kind of like breathe. She just starts wearing cowl necks. She hates it. There's a space on the couch. I'm good. So you're watching space on the couch. I'm good. So you're watching Grey's Anatomy.

I'm sorry. Yeah. And I realized that they jumped the shark and their whole gimmick was that they jumped the shark in every episode. Oh, really? Basically. Yeah. It's ridiculous.

I honestly never watched a moment of that show. It's ridiculous. Yeah. Yeah. It's stupid. Yeah. And so, and then, also just the the drama and the histrionics these doctors and love and lust right right themselves and each other i so the children's

hospital thing made me it was more like fitting that into a children's hospital right and just and the most inappropriate yeah yeah it's a really really funny fucking show indulge thanks man indulge in that kind of humor that i've always wanted to do and TV wouldn't really let you do. Is that really absurd, you know? So we did that on the web for a while. Was it one of the first Adult Swim live action shows or the first? I think it, no, yeah, I think it, I don't think it was the. Yeah.

I want to say, I don't know. Because that's, I mean, that place is pretty amazing that, because I don't think it was the. Yeah. I want to say, I don't know. Because that's, I mean, that place is pretty amazing. Because I don't think it could have existed anywhere else. They were great, man. They were. Mike Lazo, who ran the place for years, he was just like, you know, he used to run. Ted Turner gave him a job way back in the day. Probably Turner Classic Moot. Yeah, TCM. Mm-hmm. gave him a job back way back in the day um probably a turner classic movie yeah tcm and he

would just sit down in the basement of his mansion running the show running running the pro late night programming that was his job mike lazzo and he would just pop turner's mansion yeah or lazzo's mansion turner's mansion oh wow no lazzo is just a dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I was going to say. Casablanca. So he was actually broadcasting from his fucking basement. Yes. That's amazing. And every once in a while, Ted Turner would come down in a bathrobe and be like,

I don't want to watch this anymore. Just take it out. Put something else in. So the movie would stop at TCM. Like, they would just stop a movie, and another movie would start. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, my God.

So, I mean, that's the kind of production that was involved there. There wasn't... Oh, that's so fucking awesome. Crazy. And I love TCM. Yeah. And it's just hilarious that it was just his VCR. Yeah, so...

Just a rich dude, you know. In a robe and cowboy boots, probably. Yeah, exactly. He definitely brought that spirit to Adult Swim. It's just his thing. Like, whatever he likes. Yeah. And he likes that kind of weird, off-filter, absurd humor.

And, you know, it wasn't about advertisers or anything. And, you know, women watch the show, which was strange. It's like, he goes, we never had female viewers before. This is great. Now, when you started, I mean, did you ever feel any kind of, did you ever think to yourself, I need to adjust this to be more commercial or anything? Or did you always just know? Children's Hospital?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, no, no. I never did it to succeed at anything. Like I never did it for anything, but fun. I was like, why don't we, I said to my friend,

like, why don't we just write the, I'll write the show and we'll get all the people that we love the most in the world and are the funniest to come together. And it'll be like a fun thing. Yeah. That's all we did. That's the best.

Yeah. And it just kept being that over the years did that's the best yeah and it just kept being that over the years yeah and um uh it really was that like we wouldn't we were looking for hospitals one year um to shoot in and they found one down by the airport and i was like no the only because it wouldn't be fun to drive for everybody to drive to the airport every day because that's the spirit of this show. You don't want to make it a bummer. Yeah, man.

You want to show up in a good mood. Easy peasy. Yeah, yeah. And it was that, I think. It wasn't that for me, sort of. I mean, I had a lot of jobs on that show, so it was stressful in a good way. I learned a lot about making television.

Yeah. No, and you were the boss. That's, you know. That's pretty great. Great. Yeah, yeah. It's great. Do you have ownership of that show?

No. I don't know. Actually, you might. I don't know. Well. I guess if I don't know, I don't. Yeah. It just came up and we're trying to get it on somewhere else.

Right, right. Trying to get them because we have a spinoff coming out uh in january on netflix so we're trying to get the all the seasons streaming at least somewhere or yeah and they aren't right now no they're hard you can watch them on youtube you watched stolen ones on youtube yeah just great fine with me right right um or you can pay for them but now there's no nobody has the rights to them. Oh, wow. So we're trying to sell them.

That's great. I hope so. Well, good luck on that. Yeah, thank you. Can't you tell my love's a-growing? Well, in the interest of time, I'm going to jump ahead here, work-wise, to the unicorn. And I'll just keep these down to like one word answers. The unicorn.

Yes. Yes. Unique. Yes. At CBS. No, tell me how that all happened. And I'm not familiar with the show. I know Michaela Watkins and Walton Goggins.

Yeah. Yeah. But what's the concept of the show? I'm not a very good interviewer. No, it's great. I love that you don't and Walton Goggins. Yeah. Yeah. But what's the concept of the show? I'm not a very good interviewer. No, it's great. I love that you don't. Tell me about it. I especially love that you would.

Yeah, because now I'll be able to sell you on it. Yeah, yeah. Because I really do believe you would like this show. You know what? I've seen promos. And just from the fucking people involved, it's got to be good. It's a great cast. Because I look at it, too, as like all these good people would not have said yes to being in this thing if it weren't good.

Oh, that's a good way of looking at it. Yeah, that's very true. Like you can get one good person on sort of an iffy project just because it's like, yeah, sure, I've got to get a job. But when you get a talented cast, that means there's quality. Right. Well, Walton basically put it together for us. He went through the whole development part. He didn't write it or anything or create it, but he was their guy from the beginning. Was a vehicle, yeah. And so he called me one day and said, I got the thing. Let's do it. I got the thing. We're

going to do this, then we're going to retire. We're going to move to Greece. Let's go. Were you friends with him? Yes, I was. Yeah. How did you all know each other? How do we know each other?

Oh, through mutual friends. Oh, okay. Yeah. It was my friend, you know, Leslie Bibb? Uh-huh. And she's, I guess, what do you say, married? I guess you can't say she's married to Sam Rockwell. They're like common law.

Yeah, right, right. They're, let's, fuck it, they're married. Yeah, yeah. So those two introduced us. They're white trash married. They were basically like, oh, you got to meet Walton. Like, Walton would love you. Yeah.

For some reason, they saw something in me. Walton-y? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And sure enough, like, we hit it off. Yeah, he's great. We were just really good friends. Yeah. And so he called me, and he did the same with all those guys.

He'd worked with Omar Miller before and Michaela. And I'd worked with Michaela before, so I called her too. And we did it all together. Like working with pals. It's the best. It's the only way to, the only rule I have in this whole job is just to do good shit with people who aren't dicks. Yeah. You know?

And it's very easy. You make your life very easy if you stick by that. Yeah. They don't even have to be like a thrill. Just don't be a dick. Just don't be a dick. Yeah. Like I did a Michael Bay movie,

a Michael Bay movie, and I was like, all right, you're going against your thing. You're going against, sure enough, it was a fucking pain in the ass. You know what I mean? Yeah.

It was a tough, tough gig. Yeah, yeah. And so, yeah, it's the proof. It's been proven, this theory. It is sound and valid. Yeah. Yeah, so it's about. So what's, yeah.

So Walton plays a guy who is starting, his wife died a year ago. Hilarious. And exactly. Well, it is actually kind of brilliant in that it's a year in the past so he is has dealt with that initial very initial grief and some stages beyond that and he's now his friends are trying to get out of it yeah his friends are like now it's time to start chapter two yeah and he's got two daughters and so it's really like he's in the dating world now and it's and you know the dating world is just so different now with um social media and so he's navigating that

and he's also navigating being a dad and a mom sort of and and his friends and we're all so basically i play one of his best friends and and it's uh really cool like it's not it could easily be like a date of the week show yeah but it was it's it's a really about any sort of big change in your life you know if you experience a big change that makes you have to start uh fresh yeah in a sense this is um i think it's why people are have responded to it great yeah i know it's cool i think you like it it's doing pretty well right yeah oh yeah yeah it's doing great it's why people have responded to it. Great. Yeah. It's cool. I think you'd like it. It's doing pretty well, right? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's doing great. That's great. I believe the number one new comedy, I think. Oh, that's awesome. And, you know, meaning like it's not getting Super Bowl numbers, but like- Nothing does. Who knows?

Yeah. This is what I can't think of. This is what I got to keep telling myself. I never, I never- Don't understand it, so don't think- I know. I don't, I, throughout the whole deal for me, I never, like the numbers and all that shit,

like I don't know. Yeah. I don't know, I don't know what's good, I don't know what's bad. I just know things like hit shows now get ratings that shows that I was on got canceled for. I know, it's just, it's such a different. Oh no, our ratings, any show's ratings right now, yeah, would get, there's nothing, no one's. Exactly. I know. It's just, it's such a different. Oh, no. Our ratings, any show's ratings right now.

Yeah. We'd get, there's nothing, no one's. Yeah. And it's also like, oh, now it's all the plus threes and the plus sevens, which are the DVR numbers. Yeah, yeah. And so that's a big, what they really pay attention to that. Right.

Like I get all, I got all wrapped up in it for a few weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it calmed down. Right, because it's. I've never been in this network grind before. It's weird. It's a few weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it calmed down. Right, because it's – I've never been in this network grind before. I know, I know. It's weird. It's a weird world.

Yeah, no. It's also – it's weird from my experience. It's – and I don't mean – I mean, you seem to be doing great. But it's like the turnaround from like the numbers are good really building good ratings and then i swear there was on one of my shows a week yeah it's not looking good yeah like wait what what last week it was it was all great last week i was you know shopping for boats i know what what i know i know it happened so fast we had our We had repeats last week because it was Halloween. Yeah.

So they put repeats on. And I was like, oh, that's good. That's it. Momentum's gone. Forget it. May as well pack it up. I know. Pack up the sets.

Yeah. And it's also mysterious. And you also don't know who's really telling you the truth. You don't know when somebody somebody says it's doing great like i'm what the fuck do i know what you know what what share is what and what the ratings mean i i only and this is something i've learned so uh this is a i've only believe i i don't believe anything basically i believe nothing unless it it rings true to me in some mysterious way whatever that be instinct or or experience you know and um meaning like even like compliments yeah insults yeah i'm pretty impervious to all of it like

unless it rings true and then that becomes a note. Yep. Or a really nice thing for somebody to say. And, and just like that, like the, like, I don't believe any of the,

anything people, yeah, no, they're there. We're golden. Yeah. We're golden. Yeah.

We're golden. We're good. Like, nope, whatever. Yeah. Not, I'm not actively disbelieving you.

Yeah. It's just noise. Yeah. Yeah. And you consider the source, you know, a lot. Yeah. Or I'd rather not. Yeah. It's just noise. Yeah. And you consider the source, you know, a lot. Yeah.

Or I'd rather not. Yeah. I just like not even consider the source. I'm just going to keep doing what I do and what I did last week. Yeah. Because that's, that's what's,

you know, making this an interesting show for me. Well, now the, the second question of the three is, where are you going? I mean, you're,

you've got, you're, you're trying to sell the children's hospital follow-up. Yeah, I mean, that I guess is going – Is it a companion piece or is it a – It would be – that would be to sell to market the – as a promotional item for the spinoff. I see. Yeah, the spinoff, which comes out spinoff which comes out on netflix in january okay medical police uh i love it when people laugh at that thank you so much that's so great

oh it's so reductive it's so dumb yeah yeah yeah um and uh yeah so uh that i guess but i feel like that's now you know like that's here. Right. It's already, yeah. Where I'm. Is it shot? I don't know where I'm going. Is it shot? Oh, yeah. It's all shot.

Oh, okay. It's all shot, put together, edited. We're going to, we're just waiting for them to air it. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's done. They have it. Awesome.

So I would like to stay right here. Yeah. For a while. And you don't have any like, you know, dream screenplay you're sitting on. Yeah, sure. I do. Yeah, I do. And I, uh, I had a hiatus week a couple of weeks ago and I thought, all right, I'm going to, I'm going to write this thing. I'm going to start this thing. And it's really hard. Yeah. It's really hard. And so I'm just, you know, kind of banging my head against it, but it's fun too. Yeah. So, you know, now I'm i'm like how do i how do i learn how to do

this because the books are stupid oh um you know craig mazen actually is a good you know uh script notes podcast yeah yeah so craig mazen does this one alone called how to write a screenplay it was the most informative um information i'd heard yeah i haven't heard this, but I mean. It's a good thing to listen to. It's really neat. He's so practical about it. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, that's it.

I just want to like, I want to retire. Yeah. You know, I don't want to be one of the, like, actors never retire. I want to retire, man. Yeah, yeah. I want to, one day I'm going to be gone and you're never going to hear from me again. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah. I mean, I don't – yeah, I don't know where I am in that. Yeah. Like I remember, you know, years ago talking to Jeff Ross, our executive producer, and said something about – like you were talking about winning the lottery. And I said something like, yeah, if I won a pile of cash, you might not see me again. And he was like, ha-ha. And I went, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Really? You might not. For real. I mean, yeah. I mean, I think I'd get bored and I'd have to do something. But the thing is, is, like, I could fill that day up with fishing or cooking or building furniture or something. Learning new things. Yeah new things yeah you know god yeah that's what i was that's what i was thinking like because the excitement of all of

this i want to be a park ranger i'm not kidding i know i you know i when i was in when i was in college i worked at a state park in illinois and it was and i could see definitely see the yeah the appeal of it although i'm more i need people more like it's a very you know i don't oh yeah no no i'm fine i mean i've gotten that vibe i'm doing this podcast actually is it weird that i've been i'm sitting so far across the room like in the corner in the corner by the door with your hand on the knob oh you want me to sit at the table ah okay oh yeah well now how many kids you have two two and what are they and how old are they 10 and well almost 11 and 13 yeah yeah yeah no was retirement after they're out of the house or i don't know you know what i gotta figure out is

there's a lot of calculations to do that i don't know how to do. Like, you got to figure out, like, well, what kind of lifestyle do you want? What does this retirement look like? Yeah. Then figure out how much money you need to support that. Yeah. Then you got to kind of factor in how long do you think you're going to live? Yeah. And so that's three things that I'm not quite sure how to compute.

Yeah. I mean, there's an expense involved, but you could start smoking. I could easily start smoking. Yeah. I mean, the chances of me, I'm 48, getting cancer now, like almost nil. Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, right. Yeah, it's great i could get i could i could smoke on your power lines

i could say yeah just check i'll be like a thrill seeker but it's the most the latest thrill thinker like i put myself in emotionally threatening situations. Drinking a glass of ditch water. Oh, I had an up to Flint. Yeah, no, it's, yeah, it's all of that kind of math is. It's weird, but that's what I have to do before I could answer a question about like what and when. Yeah. But yeah, I would definitely. Is there a geographic place?

Are you getting out of LA if you do this? I love LA. Yeah. But yeah, I would definitely. Is there a geographic place? Are you getting out of LA if you do this? I love LA. Yeah. I found. But I also like the woods. Yeah. And I like the terrain here I don't like too much. Yeah, I miss green.

Yeah, me too. Me too. I like Wyoming. We sort of discovered Wyoming in the last couple of years. And we've gone up a lot. Right. We were thinking about buying something up there, but we held off. A survivalist bunker.

Man. Wouldn't that be fun though? Not really. Wouldn't it? No. Wouldn't you love to have a bunker like in your backyard and you could just go in there and you got, it's like. Okay.

Yeah. That, okay. Think about it. Like if it's just like a rec room underground yeah that might be kind of fun yeah yeah but you just

and you do have the tons of food you have the knowledge that when the shit goes down for when the shit goes down oh

yeah I guess I don't know but then if you invest all that then don't you have like sort of a stake in the shit going down I feel like yeah yeah you're part of a then don't you have like sort of a stake in the shit going down? I feel like, yeah.

Yeah. No, you're part of a militia now. You start voting for people just based on who's going to undo society. That transition would happen. Yes. Yes. So, yeah. No, I just want to – I would probably buy a little place up in Wyoming and go back and forth because it's a really quick flight and my family loves it and it'd be nice.

It'd be a nice place to have, you know, for grandkids. You know, that would be the dream, man. Yeah, yeah. Just to have a place, easy place for the grandkids to come and, oh, man. Well, you seem to have like a really good sort of balanced attitude about this fucking ridiculous industry. That's what that, well, I wasn't actually even forcing this, but I always said that's what I learned. Yeah, yeah. You know, is that like it's, nobody knows anything.

Nobody knows what they're doing. They're making up the rules as they go. Yeah. And so it's kind of freeing in a way that you get to sort of make up your own rules as well. Yeah. Nobody knows what they're doing. They're making up the rules as they go. Yeah. And so it's kind of freeing in a way that you get to sort of make up your own rules as well. Yeah. And I guess that's balance to some degree, but it's also just mostly freedom. Like, there's a reason the agents won't let us see behind the curtain. Yeah, yeah.

It's because they're not doing really much of anything in terms of us. Yeah. It's very easy. not doing really much of anything in terms of us. Yeah. It's very easy. And so, like, once you kind of, there's no more, I'm not intimidated anymore by the business. And I feel like, well, you've got to fit into my rules.

Right. Now. Right. You know? Now, I imagine there's still room for growth. Is there something that you'd want, like, is there something on the agenda that you feel like you want to fix that's still there? And that's, you know, like something that, that you're still working on? Or are you just that cool?

Writing. Yeah. I think I really want to nail, I really want to, I've always, like I said, you know, I'm in college and in high school. And when I was a kid, I just wanted to be a writer. Like, I want to write. And now I realize now I'm older and I didn't develop that. Yeah. In the sense of.

I'm in the same boat. I've written TV, but it's different. You know, that. And comedy is different. It's like, it's a different rhythm. And this is like, now I'm reading, whenever I read books, I read fiction specifically to figure out how it's like written not not actively but I but I definitely read it with that in mind right because that's what I enjoy the story but you're also I would love to do that yeah I would love to just start writing

short stories and like submitting them to you know under a fake name to like Fangoria and have him get like rejected a million times. Yeah, yeah. You know, it'll be fun. Yeah, and that is a nice, you know, you do get tired of just all the falderol and having to worry about, you know, the nonsense. Oh. The hubbub. The, you know, falderol is sort of like frippery.

Yeah, okay. You know, it's like sort of. I like falderol. It's sort of like overblown nonsense. Okay, cool. Much ado about nothing. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, and, you know, like, my job on the Conan show is fantastic.

Yes. And it has afforded me a really nice life. I was, you know, I got to come home for dinner. Yeah. I worked on TV and I was home for dinner, you know, for most of my kids' childhood. Yeah. And that's a very unique thing.

But there are times when I miss acting, you know, I miss doing things. And then I'll go do a guest spot and I remember like, oh yeah, right. It's, it's about four hours of waiting for 10 hours of, or 10 minutes of doing something. It's true. And then there's like, and you know, and then there's also sort of, you know, there's like scenes where just because of the way the camera is, you end up being

background for seven hours. Oh God, so much. Shooting somebody else and you're in the background. Happens to me all the time. I'm always like, you know, Michaela Watkins and I were laughing about this because we were, the second we get this great job, we're like looking at the schedule to see how many days we're not working next week. I know.

You know? I know. Like every day. I know. Working. It's unfair. One of the shows I did, we had had a big break at Christmas, and I found myself really wanting to get back to work. Like, I just was, like, kind of bored and wanted to get back to work.

Yes. Love that. Two hours of rehearsing, I was like, oh, my God. When is this over? Oh, stupid bullshit. Oh, we're just, I'm a fucking baby. You know, it's like, as long as you don't, as long as you don't complain about it on a podcast, you know?

Yes, exactly, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Rob, this has been. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Rob, this has been really great. Thank you so much for coming. Yeah. It's been too long. You know, and you were also, I want to say, an inspiration to me in another way in that every time I would come on Conan, you would say some version of like how, because I i would just because i liked i really admired you

i liked your work obviously i i thought the ucb was your sketch yes and um and you would say well look i'm just i'm very lucky you would just you just like reek of gratitude yeah and and i was like that guy's got it figured out oh thank you you know and and it really is kind of a it's a it's a it's a key that unlocks all the doors yeah yeah just gratitude yeah so thank you. You know, and it really is kind of a, it's a key that unlocks all the doors. Yeah, yeah. Just gratitude. Yeah. So thank you for that.

Oh, sure. I mean, yeah. I mean, it's a nice reminder because sometimes I don't feel grateful enough for his. Oh, yeah. No. You got to work at it. No, it's active. Because it's like you say.

It's like we're just saying, like your life becomes your life and you start to bitch about it because it's like that's. It's your life. Especially if you're a bitch like i am yes same same natural bitch yeah i'm good at it i'm 100 80 degrees today uh please thanks nobody yeah oh does the weather ever change sunny again yeah right, right. Yeah. All right, Rob. Well, thank you so much. And thank all of you out there for listening to the three questions.

And we will be here next time. Big, big love for you. The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco and Earwolf production. It's produced by me, Kevin Bartelt, executive produced by Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Chris Bannon and Colin Anderson at Earwolf. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, associate produced by Jen Samples and Galit Sahayek, and engineered by Will Becton. And if you haven't already, make sure to rate and review The Three Questions with Andy Richter on Apple Podcasts. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.