The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Skyler Higley

Episode Date: March 18, 2025

Fresh off the Oscars, former "CONAN" writer and current "After Midnight" writer Skyler Higley joins Andy Richter to discuss growing up Black with White Mormon parents, his journey into stand-up, his time at The Onion, his thoughts on the state of comedy, and more. Do you want to talk to Andy live on SiriusXM’s Conan O’Brien Radio? Leave a voicemail at 855-266-2604 or fill out our Google Form at BIT.LY/CALLANDYRICHTER. Listen to "The Andy Richter Call-In Show" every Wednesday at 1pm Pacific on SiriusXM's Conan O'Brien Channel.

Hey everybody, welcome back to The Three Questions. I'm your host, Andy Richter. And today I am talking to writer and standup comedian, Skyler Higley. Skyler has written for The Onion, Conan, maybe you've heard of it, After Midnight, and this year's Academy Awards. We talked about his being adopted and growing up Mormon

and his sort of unlikely entry into comedy. And don't forget to join the fun on the Andy Richter Carlin show. We've had a lot of great guests lately like Darcy Carden, John Lovett and Paul Scheer. And we would love to hear from you. Now here's my conversation with my pal, Skyler. Hi Andy. How are you? Well, it's been so long since I've seen you tell me. I know, I know. We just had a... we were on a conference call because...

We're investing. Is it too top secret to mention it? No, I think we can mention it. Yeah. Conan's getting the Mark Twain Award for funniness in Washington, which it's a great time to get to Washington and get an award at the Lincoln Center. It is so beautiful this time of year, Washington. So nice. All the red hats. Mm.

But so I'm gonna do a bit in it. And we talked, we had what they call a creative call. Yeah, it's a creative call, brainstorming, pitch session. It was really creative. Is ethereal, we were cooking. Like 12 minutes of creativity. Yeah. And then we were, see you later. We were like, yeah, so that sounds good, right?

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And also you and I, I mean, you know, you and I worked together on the Conan Show, sort of. Sort of, yeah, over pandemic. Yeah, you came in, you came in mid pandemic, right? It was June of 2020. It was right in there and it was this, I was doing the Onion Fellowship at the time.

And for people who don't know, the Onion Fellowship is, they have you do the work of a staff writer. For nothing. But for basically nothing. For a very small stipend. And so I was in a very stressful place when I first went to the Conan's show, because there was COVID,

and then there was all of the George Floyd protests. So that was like really getting to my brain because it was the first time in years that I hadn't done stand-up and I was doing this writing thing. And it felt like I needed to comment also, only dark-skinned Black writer at the time, at the Onion. Um, and so I had to comment on all these things. But you found it totally different in Conan. It was so diverse in Conan.

The difference was we weren't every day needing to comment on what is our comment on the police going to be. And so it was this really discordant brain thing. And I remember I took time off because I was like, I'm having panic attacks every day and I'm taking two weeks off because it's really not going well. And in the middle of that week is when my manager hit me up being like, the Conan people want to have a meeting. And they were like, do you want to go work at Conan? And I was like, yes.

Yes. Yeah, absolutely. I want to do anything else right now. Yeah, yeah. And how old were you at that point? 24, I believe. Wow, else right now. Yeah. Yeah, how old were you at that point? 24 I believe yeah Yep, I was 24. Yeah, 23 24 Was it like at the onion where they sort of like were you like the the black okayer? You know, like can we get away with this bit or you know, they didn't they did not they would never like

Intentionally do that. I put a lot of that on myself. I see. And it was like, it's also to say, I was not the only black writer there. There's another writer there, Ron, at the time, who was black, but we also felt like, it still felt like so much to have to comment on in the moment. And then also being really new to it and also being not paid while having this big response. I don't know why I was putting this all on myself, but I was like, I have a responsibility in a black America. And when big things happen in the world, like a lot of people who are online and in general look to the onion to make comments on it. And so I felt this pressure that I had never felt before,

never working in a professional writing setting. And so yeah, that wasn't fun. But then I went to Conan, which was just like, oh, we're just doing like the weirdest bits now. It was a lot better. Yeah, no, that's, well, I was thinking like when the Conan show started, you know, if there was something like the pandemic and George Floyd, or if it was like today, like with like every government agency being gutted and the economy going, you know, like just like somebody just as like, if the economy was a train, they were just like, hey, what if we derailed? You know, like, wouldn't that be, wouldn't that be fun if we derailed? If I was younger and was having to write

daily comedy about that, I think I would find it very stressful too. Yeah, it was definitely. Because it's hard to be funny about that shit, you know? And it was just such a new situation too. Like it was, I was new to writing professionally full time and again, not for money. And then also it was like the was, I was, I was new to writing professionally full-time and again, not for money. And then also it was like the pandemic, which we had never experienced before as a culture.

And it was just like, I was like, am I going to die? I feel like I'm going to die. And then, yeah, there was that. And then like the Conan thing started to happen. And then the end, you know, I met Conan and I was like, I think I am going to die. I think that's, yeah, it's all over. This isn't real anymore. Just from meeting Conan? Yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah.

You know him. Yeah, he has a very Grim Reaper vibe about him. I'll go, let's, we'll start at the beginning. Yeah. Because this is, and I mean, you talk about this in your standup, The fact that you are adopted. Mm-hmm, and that you were adopted by a white couple. Mm-hmm This is not news to you No, I'm hearing about this for the very first. They're pretty white

And they are not only white. They're the whitest kind of white. Yeah, they're Mormons. Yeah And that's I mean, that's pretty unusual, isn't it? Do you know of any other African American adopted? Adopted by Mormons? Yeah, yeah. All of those? No. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All of those? No. It's definitely, if we were in Salt Lake City, we could probably find a couple more. Yeah. I remember I had a couple friends growing up that were in a similar situation to me, and I never kept in contact with them for some reason.

I was like, it's too much of my same thing. And no, it's pretty unusual. And I didn't ever think it was that unusual until, first of all, maybe I started getting, it wasn't until I was like 14, 15 that I started realizing, oh, this is kind of unusual. And then getting a little older and, you know, leaving Salt Lake where I grew up, like, oh, that was actually quite unusual, you know? Like, because everybody there is Mormon. So you're like, yeah, we're Mormon, whatever.

And then like adoption, you're like, oh, I guess that's kind of weird. But then all of that stuff together, you realize how differently you... Like most people grow up within sort of the culture they're in. You grew up in the Midwest and you were with the Wasps of the Midwest and you're like well this is kind of our culture. You're aware of other cultures but you know sort of what yours is. And I started being like oh I didn't actually until I moved to Chicago I'm like I had only an experience of my own culture when I was at a barber shop and like once every not as often as I should have been going, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

So it was like a really crazy, I want to say culture shock, but also just like thing to cope with where I'm like, yeah, like who am I and where am I from and what is this all about? Yeah. Who am I and where am I from and what is this all about? And so I try to talk about it a lot in stand-up to the point where it feels like I'm at times beating a dead horse about it, but I'm like, but this is all I know. Like I have to find a way to cope with all of this stuff because it doesn't really make any sense. Yeah. Well now when you were young and you went to the barbershop, because you said my own culture, when you were young and went to the barbershop, were you like, this is my culture?

Did you feel any ownership over or, you know, or that it owned you in any way? I want to, I actually, the truth is I felt kind of scared by it because of, I always, this always gets super vulnerable when I'm on podcasts like this and we're talking about it. We don't have to. No, no, no. I love it. I love it. I have no other thing to do, but It's like what else do I got? What are we gonna talk about the economy? Gonna go to your apartment, stare at the wall? Oh man, Doge is really, no who cares.

Yeah, I was scared by it at first because I felt a lot of feelings that I still feel sometimes where I'm like, okay, everybody who looks like me is talking in a certain way and has a certain reference point. Yes. And I don't. Yeah. And that makes me feel invalid. And so now I am scared that people are gonna be like, what's wrong with you?

Yeah. I am scared that people are gonna be like, what's wrong with you? And that took a really long time to get over and I still deal with it sometimes where I'm like, I mean, and people can say that now and I don't care as much because it's like, you can only be who you are, obviously. You're from where you're from. You have the background that you have.

But I think that's what propelled me to comedy because it's like, really got to cope with like Okay, I think I'm out of place here and then I would go to these basically all white schools We had a lot of Latinos, but then and and that's not a problem everybody I just want to clarify for yes all of your Trump listeners that I love Latinos and I for all of your Trump listeners that I love Latinos and I Would feel out of place there just because it's like I was black and then also never like the I was never the the oh This is our this is our token black cool friend. I was still sort of out of place So it just you know when you feel out of place everywhere in both the worlds that you're supposed to quote unquote be in,

then I'm just like, well, what am I gonna do? I guess I'm just gonna make my little comics and write my little jokes until people like me. Well, I mean, you know, an outsider's perspective is very, you know, very much a comic tradition. Yeah. Do you feel like that getting, like that you were, the idea of getting on stage

or the idea of telling jokes was kind of like you explaining yourself to yourself? Yeah I think it I think it's twofold I think it's me explaining myself to other people and I think it's me explaining myself to myself which is why it can be so painful when it doesn't work where you're like but I'm explaining when you still don't like me and I'm like I but but I told you who I was and what I was about. I'm doing my best to be honest with you. And you're like, oh, you suck. You know, I mean, is it just that people don't laugh at it or they're just parts of your story that they're like,

no, I don't want to hear it. It depends on where, you know, it depends on where I am. Because I'd like to think that it goes pretty well most of the time. And then sometimes people are either like uncomfortable, which I found ways to get around. You start, you sort of make jokes about the discomfort of talking about it. Yeah. Or some people are just like, I don't really, as with any stand-up, I don't really care. I don't want to hear that.

And you're just like well it does suck Versus doing some observational joke where you're doing some like personal thing about your parents and people are like, oh Well, I don't like this you're like well this hurts a lot more and I wish I was just doing whatever sort of Observational bullshit in this moment TV commercial. Yeah, and if I bomb on that, I don't care. But if I'm like trying to talk about like how I haven't ever met my biological mom and do that joke and then people are like uncomfortable and don't want to hear it, I'm like, but that was really personal and really funny to me. Yeah. Whatever.

Yeah, yeah. It just, bombing feels just more different if you're going to be personal on stage. Absolutely. And so I should stop. Well, no, I don't think so. I just think that the real comedy club comedy clubs, to me, have always felt just very transactional. And I don't want trouble.

I just want to sit here, do my two drink minimum, and then you say things that makes me go, ha ha ha ha ha. And if it's challenging or if it's like, it makes me feel. Yeah. No, I don't want that. Right. But there are places where people go,

you know, you, yeah, I don't get to tell you, you're young, I'm old. You know, you know where, I don't even know where these places are anymore, but you do. You know, there's rooms where people want that. There's, oh, there's tons of them. And I think also, I think comedy right now,

particularly stand-up comedy has a big, big PR problem because sort of the core of what's popular in stand-up is people who are subversive just for the sake of being subversive or arguably alt-right comedians and that's what, or just, you know, substance-less and that's what's got all of the mainstream attention right now. Yeah. And so there's a huge group of people who aren't being serviced by stand-up at all

from what they know because they aren't getting to any of the stand-up that they would connect with. Right. And it sucks because there's tons of people that would like all of this type of comedy and they just don't get to see it because they think it's all the transactional, really dumb, thoughtless kind of stuff

because that is, everything is just kind of being garbage, is kind of just being pushed out the most right now. And it's hard to find really good, well thought out things. Yeah. Well, you know, I mean, I've had this conversation, versions of this conversation a lot. And it is like, yes, it is very hard, but there's part of me having done this for a while,

or just been in comedy and TV for a while, there's part of me that feels like, well, yeah, it's gotta be rare. Good things have to be rare because that's just how it is. And there will always, regardless of whatever time you're in, there's gonna be a big, mediocre middle. And that's what everybody's gonna feed on, and that's your cheeseburgers. And then there's gonna be, you know, high-end tastes that are sort of more artful. And, you know, and it's like the comedy that you're talking about. Like to me, it's just bro comedy. And it's been around forever and it, you know, until...

I don't know who did it, but somebody in the right wing was like, hey, we should send these guys some talking points. Right. Because they went from just being bros to being like, you know, bitches be crazy. Right. Into like, Kamala Harris shouldn't be allowed to, you know, run a war. Right. It started with bros before hoes and then it was like bros before all people of color.

Yes, exactly. Yeah. Bros before everybody. Bros before everyone else. Yeah. The thing that always has amazed me and because I never, I dabbled in standup, but can't really say like, I, it's like, yeah, I did it, but I didn't really do it. I didn't really like do it.

I did improv, but I sat on a talk show set for a long time seeing very good comedians because we did not have shitty comedians on our show. Watching a very wide array of different kinds of comedians and the ones that kind of the bro energy ones, to me, the amazing thing was, why would you go to this trouble to say stuff that's like 15 other guys

that are like your friends? Like you're all just basically doing the same thing. Like wouldn't you wanna challenge yourself? You know? That's honestly one of my biggest pet peeves in comedy, especially in 2025, where you're like, well, you're just saying stuff that's kind of just always been said. And you're just regurgitating. What is the point of this art form if you're not going to push some boundaries? boundaries, but I'm also speaking from the place that I come from where I'm like, well, I the only thing I can do at point zero if I'm explaining who I am, it's already, you know, quote unquote boundary pushing because it's already a unique background. So I'm like, this is all I can do.

So I am resentful of the people who just get up and they just go, you know, whatever bitches be crazy or whatever. That is just like, and it works. It's the easiest thing. It just works. It's just junk food for people. And they can just do it and it's fine, but it's just like, why?

Does that satisfy your soul? I'm trying to resolve something deeply broken inside me. And you're just out here, whatever. It's like, don't y'all never, y'all, y'all, y'all when you have to go to your girlfriend's house and you have to take a shit, don't you hate doing that? I mean, yeah, man, we all do. All right. Not me.

She's gotta learn. You as a heckler in the audience, I have a rebuttal. No, no. She must know that I'm a man. I used to joke with a friend of mine who was a standup that like when a comedian says like, you know, they'll do for your town, they'll be like, I was walking down Green Street today. They'll just plug in the, you know, or just today I was doing this thing and I just always want to stand up and go like, I don't think that was today.

I don't think that was today. I think it happened a long time ago, if it happened in the first place. How recently, when you say recently, how recently do you mean? Because for me, it's a good two to three years. Of course. I do like to, you know, like to me,

because like as you're talking about these comedians, you know, that are just kind of regurgitating the same old kind of status quo stuff, it is, like, I do feel like it's kind of like when you're an actor and you do commercials, you know, like you do commercials because it pays bills and it pays very well and you got to do it while you can't and shit, you know, fucking commercials are full of movie stars now, so it's, you know, it's obviously something, but I just loved like, if there's a voiceover audition and it's a bunch of people going in and reading all about this new whitening crest, and then you come in

and want to talk about your anguish and heartache. This is not the place for that, sir. No, it's a voiceover audition. Just read about the crest. It's 3D whitening. Yeah, I can't do that. I can I know I said I can't I can't yeah Whoa, yeah, but anyway if you if you hear this and you have voice-over auditions for crest All the credit you god damn it. Yeah. Yeah, we're always getting called in for the same voice

I do want to go back to just because God damn it. Yeah. Yeah, we're always getting called in for the same voice I Do want to go back to just because and and talk about it as much or as little I want I'm open But just about adoption about being adopted like and what that's what it's like to grow up You know because you know, you are obviously physically different than your parents Mm-hmm So I mean are you aware of that when you're young? Or does there a point where that happens? And do they talk to you about it?

And were they good at talking about it? I would say, yeah. I think there were things that were really not done well, but I think as far as talking about it and making me aware of the situation, I just don't remember a time growing up that I didn't know I was adopted. I don't remember that at all. You don't remember a conversation where they-

I never remember a specific conversation. I just remember having always known it, which means the conversations about it must have started when I was very young, because that's just something that I knew. I would think it would be good parenting to not let it slide. No, don't. Not have to let somebody else or a kid at kindergarten say, you know, right.

All right, let me tell you something. I mean, to the point that when I was like very young, I thought that that was the normal thing. And I would get reactions of like, whoa, you're adopted. And I'd be like, yeah, aren't you? Like, I mean, they're treating you like you are. Jesus Christ, the way these kids are acting. But I thought that I really knew about it. It was just still within the family unit.

It felt normalized, but it still felt very abnormal just anywhere else. It started being a thing that people were like, whoa, that's crazy, I didn't know that. I thought, whatever. And then I still feel like, whoa, that's crazy. I didn't know that. I thought whatever. And then, um, I still feel like within that, even though they did a good job in that category, I still think that there are, and you may have heard this before and tell me if you have or not, but, um, white people and black people are different.

Yeah, they are. And, and so there were a lot of cultural things that I didn't get to experience or there was a certain perspective on black people and black culture that I do think was a little patriarchal and a little condescending at times. Oh, the way that you were introduced to black culture. The way that, yeah, the way that certain culture is considered valid or not or good to good or not or

down to the very like you should pull up your pants or something like that. Oh, okay. In this way that's like a perspective that comes from respectability politics basically. And I think that I got some of that pretty early in a way that is, you know, it is subtle racism, even though people are. And again, they were doing their best for the late 90s, early 2000s. Yeah, I totally get it. But at the same time,

like, I mean, even if you want to discuss, there are a lot of people who are black adoptees who were adopted by white people that think that it shouldn't even be legal for people who are white to come in and adopt. Yeah, no, that was I know people that were adopted, that it's their cause to say like, I should not have ... They want no one to be adopted regardless of... I mean, it goes that extreme to some people who are activists about adoption, whether it's anti or pro or what.

I don't even know that world that much. I've only had brushes with it, but I do understand the perspective because there's a lot of unique trauma that comes out of it if you don't approach it in a very thoughtful way. And if you happen to be to maybe, let's say white Mormons in your early 20s, maybe you don't have all the facilities to be able to do it the right way, in your early 20s, maybe you don't have all the facilities

to be able to do it the right way, especially knowing at that timeframe, like this was pre anybody even saying the word woke or anything like they, I mean, and I try to make a lot of caveats because my mom, she had a radio show at one point where she would like talk about the civil rights movement, you know what I mean? So she was still very, very progressive racially We had a radio show at one point where she would talk about the civil rights movement. You know what I mean?

So she was still very, very progressive racially as far as that time was concerned. But you grow up in Utah in the 90s, which is basically like anywhere else in the 40s, there's still a lot of stuff that happens. I remember my earliest memories of going to school was like immediately preschool. Some kid comes up to me, he just runs up to me in the middle of everybody. He just goes, I hate you. And I was like, this is my first day at school ever.

And I was like, what? And then I think he's like, cause you're brown and that's weird or whatever in my memory. And it was just like, it was stuff and that's weird or whatever is in my memory and it was just like it was it was Stuff like that would happen a lot, but that is what happens when you're the only person that's different Anywhere, I mean that would happen to anybody who looks different because that's just how kids are Mm-hmm. Yeah, but I mean it does that's how that's how children of are. Yeah. Because kids, you know, I don't, I...

Kids might notice a difference in skin color if they haven't been indoctrinated with thought like that, but I don't think they go up and say, I hate you. Well, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's true. I mean, that's pretty... That tells me like that kid is being raised in a household full of racism. Yeah. And that's, you know, one of however many kids. That's awful. It's really awful.

Yeah, I mean, it sounds bad now, but you know. It was bad then too, you know. Well, it's true. That's true. Did anybody intercede? Was there a teacher to sort of even, or do they kind of let it go? No, I mean, I don't think I even told a teacher that, at that time.

Oh, so nobody heard. Because I wouldn't have like known to do that. You wouldn't have been a snitch. that was like day one preschool, right? You know, but then there was like stuff I would have teachers, you know, I had I remember eighth grade and we're jumping forward a little bit but I would have teachers that I Was in this class where I would you know, I had all my stuff done. I was a smart kid good student I got all my stuff done. I was a smart kid, good student. I got all my stuff done pretty early. And this teacher, no matter how many times I got my stuff done early,

would always be checking my paper. Like, did you get it done? Did you really get it done? Oh, you it's like and then she'd check and every time, invariably, she would check it and then be done and it'd be right. And then she would still like have to like check on me. And I started feeling like, is this? I didn't think of the idea that like a Teacher could be racist. Yeah, because I was like, it's the other kids because these are the dumbasses but even the teachers would be like

You know, there's just an assumption of oh you're You must be dumber than the other kids, right? And I didn't you know, I tried to say this and then other people would be like, no, that's not what's going on. But then one day she got really mad at her computer because it wasn't working and she called her computer a cotton picker. A cotton picker. I know. It's like such an old timey thing to say. Yeah, cotton picker is not even...

That's not even one you reach for. No, it's like cotton picking, you know, like, which is like from Looney Tunes. Yeah. You know, kind of, it's I've only heard it as a gerund adjective. Yeah, no, that's, I remember and I was like, oh, okay, wow. Wow. So, you know, that's what it was like to, the adoption stuff is, yes, to a degree weird. This is what I try to talk to with people,

because people will go, the Mormon stuff, that must have been weird. And it's like the adoption stuff was weird, and the Mormon stuff was weird in its ways, but I think the main thing that was weird is all of that in that place and being black there. It was the racial divide and difference and being unique in that way was the racial divide and difference and being unique in that way

was the most weird part about it. All of the other elements of it are sort of, you know, the icing on the cake, but the core of it was just being black in an all white place. And the Mormon place, yes, particularly white in a certain way, but it's like, yeah, it wasn't as weird as, as just like being there for myself. It's well, and it also too, in a situation like that, like so much, there's so much front loaded about like race and, and adoption and Mormonism, which, you know, you couldn't even be a black Mormon until what, the 60s?

Or was it the 70s? 70s. Even later. It was 78. Crazy. Really late. So, you know, like, as if growing up, and especially like being a teenager,

like there's not a million other fucking things that you have to figure out, like, you know, just about like, what do I like and what kind of person am I and what kind of person do I like to be with? You've got all this fucking nonsense in front of it. You don't even really get to those more sort of, I don't know, you know, ground level kind of questions.

And there's also all this, and it's still something that I struggle with, but all of this, like, who am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to do? There's a lot of it feels like supposed to's with regards to religion, with regards to race. There's a lot of behaviors, thoughts, beliefs. I'm supposed to believe this, I'm supposed to believe this, this is what I you know and and that is all hard to sort through when you're like, well, if I am being a good this, then I will be this. And that's really hard. Even as adults to go, am I supposed to think this because this is what I think and this is what I feel? Or is this what other people want me to believe?

Do I do I not like immigrants or are they just telling me that I shouldn't like immigrants? You know what I mean? And to be clear, I'm gonna go a full 180 on what I said earlier. I don't like immigrants. The white ones. It's fine. Can't you tell my love's a crook? Do you consider yourself religious? Do you consider yourself a Mormon? Oh, definitely not. Definitely not.

That stopped when I was a teenager. As I was getting into comedy, too, it was sort of the same transition of getting really into comedy and the way people in comedy talked about things and the logic that goes along with, you know, not believing in a religion anymore. Comedy, at its best, is very subversive and enlightening and I was getting into a lot of the ways that comedians thought I thought it didn't square with sort of a religion that tells you, you know, you got to read this book. And if you have doubts about this book, you should pray about the book and read more of the book. It's like, that doesn't logically

make any sense. So I think it was like the logic of comedy and also just my brain developing and not wanting to believe in Santa Claus and lies anymore. It's just like, a lot of people are like, yeah, what got you out of being Mormon? It's just like, it's just my brain working better. Aged out of it, yeah. It just seems silly at that point for me to be into that anymore. Did you talk to your parents about it? I did. And how did they take it?

So my parents got divorced and I stopped having a relationship with my adopted dad pretty young because that got rocky as well. Like what age? They got divorced when I was like nine. I think I stopped talking to my adopted dad at like 15. Oh, wow. So we had the teenage years and the whole, all of that drama. All that tumult.

It was also, it was a really bad, it was not good. So I didn't talk to him because I didn't care what he thought at that point. I talked to my mom. She was not happy. And then three years later, she left the church too. And it was like, so what, what did we go through all that for? Yeah. We really had a lot of fights about this and then she also left.

So it was like, okay, well, I'm glad you're over here now, but I feel like we could have just saved a lot of heartache and trouble if you would just listen to me. Yeah. But whatever. Well, but you know, she had lots more years of, you know, if you feel pressure to believe a certain thing, she's had it just, with that many more decades tacked on to it. And you think about it being a woman and getting married very young.

And yeah, having grown up with her entire family also doing this, like I have a lot of empathy for that, obviously. I'm not like, I would never be mad at her for, I mean, that's not true. That's, I was going to say I would never be mad at her. You get mad at your parents all the time. You're like, why didn't you raise me better? But I have, of course, empathy for that situation. And it's a different thing to be Mormon and stop being Mormon than it is. Like for me, it was like when I stopped going to church, it wasn't like, there was, you're not gonna go

to church anymore? Nope, okay, all right. No, it's like a whole- It wasn't like I was rejecting our entire identity that had brought our ancestors west. You know? Yeah, it settled the whole place. Yeah, yeah.

I have family members that I still don't talk to to this day because of how negative they were about me going to Chicago and pursuing comedy. They were like so afraid of the idea of a city and so afraid of not idea of a city and so afraid of not being where the church was and being where the family was and they were in so negative about it that I was like okay well I'm gonna go and I'll call you when I get there. Never called them. Yeah. Ten-ish years later or

whatever, eight years later, just still haven't called them because, look, I'm gonna do, I was like, this is what's right for me and my life and soul and what I feel like doing. And they're like, I think that's wrong. And it's like, well, peace out. Yeah, no, it's just, it's amazing. But I mean, I haven't been indoctrinated into anything other than doing bits. I don't know,ctrinated into anything

other than doing bits. I don't know, you did it, Rob. Doing bits, that was it. That's my religion. Yeah. Which makes me very aware of indoctrination now. You see all the people who are so indoctrinated into Trumpism or Elon Musk is cool, which there is no reason to think.

Or even leftism, you know, or centrism. It's all just like ideology stuff. This is who I am. This is what I believe in. This is a... instead of really actually taking any of the time to read it, think about it, feel it. How true is this relative to reality? Yeah, yeah. And I am so aware of what feels like the levers that get pulled by people who are more powerful that I am really skeptical of anything that I'm being pressured into believing. And that's not to say that I'm like one of these like free thinking Joe Rogan types, because they're also just doing the same thing.

But it's just like, yeah, people really want to put you into a box or make you believe what they want you to believe so they can tell you what to do and you can do it. And it seems like nobody knows that anymore. It seems like, or they're like, they're trying to, or anybody who says that also says it so they can be like, and that's why I hate gay people. And it's like, that's not what I'm saying.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? One of my theories about it is just that everyone is just really scared about like what these machines that we thought up are gonna do. And even the people that deny it, I think know that we're fucking up the planet and I think that people are just scared and they're like, they want to go back to some kind of mommy daddy, tell me what to do, which that's fascism.

You know, that's, that's authoritarianism is like, no, no, I don't like everybody having a voice. I just want somebody, you know, some big old mean white man to tell me what to do. And... Well, yeah, people are... I mean, I'll ask you, because like... Because I'm white, is that it? Yeah, because you're white.

I am white. No, but I was gonna say, like, how do you cope with the fear and anxiety of that? You're just... Are you... Oh, I put it in a fucking box. Okay. I put it in a box. There's a part of me that is just fucking terrified all the time. And I got... You know, I have older kids and a five-year-old.

Right, you got kids. And I don't, you know... And I mean, show business right now is incredibly insecure. You know, if I, if, you know, if I wasn't, if I hadn't, you know, spent basically, you know, like a yacht's worth of money on therapy over the years, and if I weren't medicated, I could be curled up in a ball in a corner somewhere. But because I have, you know have learned skills and how to cope

and how to deal with things, I can take all that and go like, well, you know, shitting my pants about it is not gonna help. I just gotta put it to the side and just, you know, do my day. What's on my calendar for the day? Okay, gonna do this and that and that. And then, you know, and then keep things light at home.

Keep, you know, just try and stay happy. And it is, you know, it is a bit of trickery, you know, but I don't know, I'm not, I talk about shit on the internet, political stuff. I re-post things and I give money to causes when it's election time, I'm sort of active and stuff. But like what I don't I'm not I'm not gonna be you know blocking any highways for anything. It's just like that's you know. Right. I know I it's and I wasn't trying to be like but what are you doing?

I know no. But I mean but like it is just so I'm asking everybody I talked to because it is so it feels like so much to cope with Right now. Yeah that It feels like a lot of people are coping with it very well I think you're coping with it very well And it also feels insane to be able to be coping with it if that makes sense Like I was kind of fine for the longest time, like for months where it's, you know,

Trump's in office, all these doing all this stuff. I was like, yeah, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine. And then the last couple of weeks out of nowhere, suddenly my anxiety has gone way, way up. And I'm like, this is crazy. And then I'll go back to normal in a couple weeks probably, but right now I'm like, this is insane. We can't do this.

Well, you know, and the thing is, is that there's like a hundred shoes that are gonna drop. And I don't know how I'm gonna react to those cause they haven't dropped yet. But like, you know, gutting the department of education, that's gonna have some blowback. There's gonna be a problem. You know, like they're gonna, you know,

they're fucking with social security. We'll see what happens with that. They're fucking over veterans. You know, it's just, there's a lot of stuff that it's like, there are a hundred lit fuses that are going, you know, like burning along and they're, but they haven't hit the TNT yet. And I'm just kind of like, well, we'll see.

You know, I mean, if it, you know, I might end up blocking a highway somewhere over something when it comes to the point where 58 year old, you know, white man are blocking highways. Midwestern guys who did improv and you're like, we can't let that stand. Well, I think I'd stop a couple stops before that being that directly about me.

So yeah. That's very funny. What does inspire me though? I had an Uber driver the other night who I like, there's a lot of people, it feels very hopeless, but at the very least you can think a lot of people feel this way and relate to this. And the Uber driver the other night, guy I would probably never talk to regularly, but the whole time he was like,

this Trump guy, man, he's just a freaking joker, man. He's just a freaking joker. You can't be doing all this bad stuff to people, man. It's karma, man. He's a freaking joker. And I mean, I didn't really wanna talk to the guy, but the whole time he was saying opinions that I agreed with, well, I'm like, yeah, I mean, he sucks.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I had a driver right before the election who I got in, and he's an older gentleman of some foreign stripe. I don't know exactly which one, but he got in, and he brought up something about the election. And I just said something like, well, I'm going to vote for Kamala Harris, because I mean, there's really no choice.

And then we didn't say anything. I was like, well, I'm going to vote for Kamala Harris, because I mean, there's really no choice. And then we didn't say anything. I was like, well, that was a, that was the right answer. I know I can, now I can just, you know, do crosswords on my phone. Um, you went to Chicago to do comedy when you were 20. Yeah. Was that a dip was the I'm and you didn't go to college or did you go to college for a little bit or? So I went to Utah state.

I was there for about a year and a half. It was kind of this thing where I had a lot of AP credits and concurrent enrollment credits coming out of high school. So I was ahead in college. Oh, I see. Where I got to the point where I needed to enroll. I had all my generals done, but I had to get into classes that were specific to the major.

I was gonna get an English major. And I couldn't get into them for enrollment because all of those class spots went to the juniors and seniors. And so I decided to take a semester off. And within that semester, I did a lot of drugs. And then I was like, what am I doing? I'm going to go, I'm going to get an English degree from a state school.

I already know what I want to do. I know what my plan would be after college. So either I can go there now and be broke and get probably pretty bad jobs in a city, or I can have a degree and wait two years and have spent more money and then go and get all probably the same jobs and be broke in a city. I think I'm just gonna do it now. Thanks, drugs.

Thanks, drugs. You made me drop out of college. And that's what everyone should do. Children, if you're listening. Children, it's mostly kids listen to this. Yeah. But that is what happens. No, it makes sense. It does kind of make sense. Because you're right. If you were headed towards being a geologist,

it might have been like, no, you know what? Do open mics while you're studying your geology. But yeah, English major one. I also just thought that, you know, I felt like I had an aptitude for comedy anyway, and I thought that it would probably work out pretty well, and I thought it would just be more relative to how hard I worked and how much I tried to study the craft of doing this,

and I think that turned out pretty well. Um, but I did say that I was, um, transferring to Columbia college, Chicago, when I, as a justification, and then, you know, the, uh, tuition bill came and it was like, you're going to be on the hook for this. And it was a huge amount of money that I had no plans of paying and my parents didn't have any money to give me. And so I was like, yeah, I guess I'm just gonna drop out and maybe we'll figure it out. And so I still do have aspirations

to like go back to school eventually. Yeah, it's always there, yeah. But it's like, it's there and I love learning and stuff, but I just didn't feel like I needed to do it at that time. Yeah. Who were your early audiences that made you feel funny enough? Like, did you have friends that thought you were funny? Did your family, does your mom think you were funny? I had friends that thought I was funny. I would be funny to my family. I used to, when I was in elementary school, I used to write these comic books that I would print off

And make copies of and distribute to my friends and So I definitely had friends that would think that I was funny and in high school I remember I ran for student government and I made a big speech that was like a Basically a stand-up routine and made a sketch video and my routine closed with I'm Skyler Higley, if you don't vote for me, you're racist. And got me sent to the principal's office right away. And yet I won, so.

That's just a good joke. It's just a joke. And you know, it's just say kind of crazy stuff. I think I used the Trump playbook that nobody had done before at my school where I just said really crazy stuff. And all the people that felt disenfranchised by the whole student government, like dumbness of that, were like, this guy's saying crazy stuff.

I'm gonna vote for him. I don't care about any of this. And so that's how I won. And it was crazy to see that same playbook used later, because I feel like I should have gotten a cut somehow. Wait, you're saying you're responsible for Donald Trump? I'm responsible for Donald Trump. My 16 year old self is responsible.

There's a kid in Utah who's really, he turned things on its head and got elected student council secretary. Yeah. And so that's really what it was. Yeah. So this is your fault. Yeah, and And so that that's really what it was. Yeah, so this is your fault. Yeah, exactly Thanks, but yeah friends and and I got interested in doing improv and started doing that early and yeah, you know Just what and I I also was coming into my teenage years at the same time as this comedy podcast boom So I was listening to every comedy podcast. I was watching Comedy Central all the time.

I was listening to every comedy album. There's tons and tons of stuff just freely available. And I feel bad for the kids now because it doesn't feel like that is available in the same way. It feels like there's been a lot of just, now we're just in this world of like it's YouTube and it's podcast clips and it's like there's so much of it out that it feels like there's not... People don't listen to comedy albums like that anymore

but the albums were really good. Like you know, you're listening to Mitch Hedberg and like early Kevin Hart at the same time and those are very different types of comedians but they can teach you a lot when you're listening to the way they deliver jokes in the structure. They're both artists though.

They're both like good. Right. Yes, and yeah, RIP to Hedberg, and it sucks that Kevin Hart is so short, but it's- He can't help it. I know. Although you know what? I bet now he could probably get an operation.

He probably could. Look, he's got the money. He's got all the money. He's got the money. I mean, come on. Kevin. I mean, he tried the vegan burger thing and that didn't work. Maybe he should just got femurs, you know?

He had a couple inches. That would actually be really funny if he did that. If he just got really tall? If he got really tall and did the rest of his career as a tall guy? Yeah, yeah. That'd be funny. Except just the legs. Like his same torso just sounds like Conan's legs.

Yeah. That'd be great. Was there, were there points when you remember, cause I have them, where I remember like feeling like, okay, I can maybe do this for a living. Like were there any sort of points that you felt like that, or was it just sort of a general kind of, you know, you get the onion fellowship and then you're like,

well, I guess I can do this. Yeah. sort of a general kind of, you know, you get the onion fellowship and then you're like, well, I guess I can do this. Yeah. I mean, that was definitely something that wasn't on my radar when I set out to do comedy because I was also very young, but I was like, I'm not political or really anything. I don't know anything about that that much. And then I started to do it and then realized I had a lot of thoughts satirically about the media and politics and stuff so that was definitely something that it was like oh I guess I could do this better than I thought I could I remember one of the first stand-up sets I did going really

really well and being like oh I guess maybe I could do that Back when I was doing improv, so yeah, I've definitely had those moments where You know I wanted to but I also always kind of felt like that because it was always growing up something I really really wanted wanted to do. Yeah. And I felt like I was gonna be good at it and I really wanted to do it. And I was like, I just am gonna try really hard. And, you know, I wouldn't necessarily recommend it for everybody to do it the way that I did it,

but, you know, that is what I did. And it's seeming to be fun. See, I would recommend for everybody to try comedy. Please don't. Everybody needs to stop. Just whatever time, whatever way you do it, just get into comedy. No, no, no. We all gotta start getting real jobs. Less comedians, less YouTubers, less TikTok people. We all just... I think we have a good amount now, and if you're in it, you're fine.

But just if you're a kid, just... we're pulling up the ladder to the tree house. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, no, you can but just be like really good at it if you're right, right? That's what I think. I know if you want to that's fine But I just think that you need to commit yourself to try to be very very good Yes, and different and different try and find out how you're different than other people. And the thing is, being different does suck. That's what I've learned. I always really valued being different and unique and not just not what you would get

from everybody else. That is really painful. That sucks because then a lot of people aren't going to get you and you're not necessarily going to feel rewarded for it, but you have to just fall back on your integrity, I guess. And move to a city. And move to a city. Yeah, yeah. For sure you got to move to a city.

Do you think you'll do standup for the rest of your life? Is that your thing that you like the most? Or if you have a writing career that just takes off, then you know. It's whatever takes off more first. Right now, I feel like my writing career is a lot ahead of my stand-up, even though I think my stand-up is good. I just... Touring now is getting a lot harder because clubs are really like...

We only want to book you if you're going sell out every show in the weekend for sure. And so it's a trickier thing because now it's all social media and self-promotion and blah blah blah. Yeah. But I love stand-up so much and I kind of need it. What about it? I just, I find so many things within it. It is very, it's become tried to say like, it's my therapy or whatever. I hate when, because that's always the standups

who aren't in therapy and suck. They're like horrible people and they're like, my therapy is the stage. It's like, well, yeah, when you can craft your own narrative about everything that's happened, sure. But it is really good for me to self-reflect and write about my experiences and what had happened. I'm working on a new joke right now where I just go,

y'all ever meet your dad's new girlfriend at a rainforest cafe? Because that is something that happened to me. And it was traumatic at the time, but I can recognize that it was funny that it took place at a rainforest cafe. Yeah. And, you know, that is just a- It sounds good saying it, too, you know. It's really funny just like on that line. So I like being able to do that because as a-

just even journaling, writing, whatever, I think it just is helpful for you to be a more complete person if you're just thinking about how you feel about things, different experiences, how they've affected you, observing things. I think that especially now we're often living in these worlds where we're like given and fed so much just content and we have TV and social media and all this stuff,

but there's not a lot of like reflection onto how I actually feel. So I love stand up for that reason and also just the validation, the hit of a live laugh. I mean, there's no comparison. I mean, doing Conan show and also just having done the Oscars, I think, got me back into the making stuff thing again,

because being able to have an idea and you shoot it and you edit it and everything and take it from point A to point B and I just... Make it real. And I love that even the, like, really tiny, like, this thing should be like this and not like this. I... It's craftsmanship in a different way. And I and I love that. I would say just as much.

So that's why it's hard for me to choose, like people like, oh, would you rather do stand up or writing? It's like, well, I really love both. Yeah, I like being able to create funny however I can do it. So it really is whatever takes off the most first. Mm-hmm. Do you have any sort of like, you know, concrete sort of goals ahead of you, you know, that you kind of got your mind set on or is it, or are you playing it by ear? I mean, I, if you would ask me a year or two years ago, I would have been able to be like more concrete

But I am kind of playing it by ear. I would love to Most concretely eventually try to tour More regularly like throughout the United States and like sell out bigger places. I would love that I would also love to make a show and I I really wanna write a movie that I make, whether it's like a small like indie thing or whatever. Those are, I would say probably those are my three. And then I do think that I have a book in me based on everything that we've talked about.

Right, right, oh certainly. That yeah, that I could talk about a lot of stuff about race, America, religion, whatever. And I wanna say a standup comedy special, but what are those anymore? But it's hard to vocalize those goals without being like, I don't know, I feel a little bit ashamed vocalizing

a specific concrete goal because it's like, well. What if it doesn't happen? Not what if it doesn't happen, but who are you to want those things? Oh, you can get want. Yeah, I mean sure. For me, I shy away from that just because it's like, yeah, but I might not pull it off or I might not do it.

And then it's like, then I just, you know. Right, but then. Not that anybody else is keeping track, but I am. No, exactly, you say it and then people go Oh, well, that didn't quite happen did it? Yeah. Well, yeah I is you know that a lot of that was a little bit out of my control. Yes this whole industry and life and Creel path really is like yeah, you get Really lucky or you don't yeah, and it can it's also hard work and whatever and how pretty you are.

But, you know, you don't know what's gonna happen. No. And there's ups and downs and it ebbs and flows, you know. Yeah. So what do you think is the big, the most important lesson you've learned so far? Oh, okay. Well, the first thing, very trite, but the first thing that came to my mind is be yourself. Yep.

I mean, and that sounds so dumb saying it, but I do think that I have had so just kind of gotta accept yourself because there's a lot of shit that people can say about you, that think about you and you just have to be who you are and try to be the best version of that that you can be. So I, yeah, I think it's that. But don't be yourself if you're an asshole. Right, exactly. Be kind and work hard and stuff.

Be a good person, but be yourself as that. Because yeah, it's like, I'll be myself. Like, yeah, I'm somebody that doesn't give a shit about what other people think or what people's feelings. No, no, that's not the point. Not the bad version of be yourself. Accept yourself and let yourself, because the easier you do that, the easier it is to be yourself. But accept yourself and let yourself, because the easier you do that, the easier

it is to be happier. So I think it's that. I mean, there's a lot of lessons you could say, but try to have fun. I think be yourself and try to have fun because a lot of lot of lot is not fun. Especially right now. And will continue to be more and more not fun. Yeah. So try to have as much fun as possible within reason. Listen, that's a huge thing. And when I have worked with people, you know, I mean, I work in show business, and show business is fun. Like there's, I do this because it was, I want to have fun. I don't do this because I, like, you know, am in love with the cinema or whatever, you know? But whenever I'm with people that don't,

like, why do you do, this thing is really hard to get to a point where you're making a living at it and people are accepting you for whatever your role is and you're gonna be miserable and make it not fun? Like, what the fuck is, what are you doing? Especially when someone's in comedy and they're not doing fun at all. You're like, what is the point of this?

What do you think we're doing here? And also, one of the things that I have learned, and I will swear by it till the day I die, if you're having fun, you're gonna be funnier. And I just am amazed that there are people don't understand that, you know? That was always my philosophy on the Conan Show. Have fun in that hour.

Like, you know, make, like that was what I protected. Like was my fun, Conan's fun. Have fun, be happy in that hour. Don't let shit get to you. And odds are people are home, you know, and it's not, you know, we weren't, it wasn't Moliere, you know what I mean? But yeah, but we also, we all see what that's turned into. You know what I mean?

That is what has been celebrated and what people want more of. And I think that that's a big issue with the industry right now too, is I don't think a lot of the people who are making decisions, the people who make the decisions on what to buy and what to make, they don't know how to have fun because their brains are eroded by having billions of dollars and wanting to make the most money possible.

So they don't even know what fun is. So just like, yeah, I don't know, whatever works and gets money. We're all trying to have fun down here. Yeah, yeah. Well, you're writing for After Midnight. After Midnight with Taylor Tomlinson. And when I've been on the show, except for this last time, I was just on it

and you did not. You get assigned a writer when you're on the show as a guest, because then you sort of go over the material. And you have always helped me, and it's always been fun to have you there, a familiar face. It's been great. And I wasn't there this last time,

and you bombed. You really ate it. I bom's always been fun to have you there, familiar face. It's been great. And I wasn't there this last time and you bombed. You really ate it. I bombed and I also texted you and said, they gave me an icky girl to work with. You're co-hosting a comedy show with Mandel. Yes. Mandel at the Lyric Hyperion in LA every second and fourth Tuesday of the month,

starting March 25th. And you have a standup show at Union Hall in Brooklyn, which is a, that's a big venue. Yeah. March 20th. Yep. And thank you so much Skyler for coming in and talking to me.

Really nice. I love you and I've loved working with you and I wish you the best. Wish you the best too. Let's work together soon. Let's work together. Like next week. Let's fix things.

Yes, yes, let's work together next week. All right, well thanks everybody for listening and I'll be back next week with more The Three Questions. The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco production. It is produced by Sean Daugherty and engineered by Rich Garcia. Additional engineering support by Eduardo Perez and Joanna Samuel. Executive produced by Nick Leow, Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Battista, with assistance from Maddie Ogden. Research by Alyssa Grahl. Don't forget to rate and review and subscribe to The Three Questions with Andy Richter wherever

you get your podcasts. And do you have a favorite question you always like to ask people? Let us know in the review section. This has been a Team Coco production.