The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Tig Notaro

Episode Date: April 5, 2022

Comedian and Actor Tig Notaro joins Andy Richter to talk about getting back out on the road doing stand-up, the good things about Mississippi, leaving school at 7th grade, and more!

hi everyone this is andy richter and this is another episode of the three questions you probably already know that and i am talking today uh to very, very funny comedian who I've known for a number of years and had the privilege of watching her grow from just a regular old stand-up to an entertainment mogul at this point, to an industry in yourself. Tig Notaro. Hi, Tig. Come on. You got TV shows. You got movies shows you got movies you got you know

podcasts podcasts kids stand-up tours you're making babies yeah yeah um yeah uh i don't know if i'm a mogul but it's it's nice to hear you know well a mogul well know. Well, a mogul. Well, what is he? A mogul is a weird word. That's like kind of like, you know, like calling you a Shah. You know, it's like it's, I think it's like an ethnic. Is it? Like an Indian ethnic kind of royalty or something. Uh-huh.

Well, that's what I'm known as, is an Indian. I'm Indian royalty. Yes, yes. Well, you're in a'm known as, is an Indian. I'm Indian royalty. Yes, yes. Well, you're in a hotel room on tour. Yeah. How long is that going for? Well, I'm really catching up after being home for so long during the pandemic. for so long during the pandemic.

I wasn't a comedian that did the Zoom shows or the drive-in movie shows, which everything positive to those that did. I just didn't do it. So I did like four warmup shows and then I hit the road and I think I'm, I don't know, almost 30 cities in. And I think I have probably 30 more to go. Wow.

But this week I'm finishing the majority of the concentrated tour. And then the rest of the year I'm just going to go out for a weekend or a night here and there. Oh, nice. Yeah. Yeah. But it's been good. Feels good to be back out telling people what I think is funny. Yeah. Yeah. Do. But it's been good. Feels good to be back out telling people what I think is funny. Yeah.

Yeah. Do they think it's funny too? I got, I hope. You know, I hope. Yeah. I've had really fun shows and I've had also a show along the way where 3,000 people were kind of like, eh, that's okay. Really? Oh, wow.

Just one, though. It was just one of those nights where it's like, wow, okay. Every other show has been really fun. Yeah. And then tonight you all just feel like, eh, that's okay. That's all right. It has to happen, you know? Yeah, yeah, it does.

It happens. It happens. It is such a strange thing. I mean, because I don't do, I mean, you know, I sat in front of an audience for years and years on the Conan show, but I don't do stand-up. So, you know, the things that I would say usually didn't have, like, a track record.

You know, they were just spontaneous things that i was saying once but there was it really is weird when you say something and you know it's funny and a whole room full of people just stare at you and you're like no you're you're wrong i'm the one that's right that was really funny you know yeah yeah it's such a weird recipe of like the vibe in the room, what's going on in the world, the vibe that you bring to the stage. I don't know. I mean, and just to give myself a little credit, it's not that it was total crickets. It just was really not the vibe of every other city. Yes. Wow. Wow. Oh, well, that's amazing. Do you remember like the first time

that you understood like the power of getting laughs as a kid, like when you got laughs as a kid, do you remember a specific point when you realized? Because for me, it was, I one time was imitating Tim Conway, that old man character he did on Carol Burnett that walked really, really slow. Can I hear it? Well, I don't think he even talked so much. It was more of a physical bit where he would like walk, but each step was about like two inches with each foot. And I was supposed to go to bed and I was doing the Tim Conway bit to go to bed. And my grandmother was howling, laughing. And I remembered like, oh, wow, I can get what I want. Like, I'm not having to go to bed.

Like, I think I, you know, stretched another half hour out of it just from making her laugh. And from the tiny footsteps that you took. That's what I mean. You know, it all worked together beautifully. I mean, I remember a moment that I thought I was so funny and where it really hit me. And apologies ahead of time for what the joke was. And apologies ahead of time for what the joke was. But I was in elementary school and I gave a friend of mine my bag of Fritos or something.

Yeah. And then they went to open the bag of Fritos and it was upside down. And I made the joke that now all the Fritos are upside down. So you have to open it from the other side. And I thought that was hilarious. Oh, my gosh. But as far as other people, I mean, I guess I don't really have a specific moment. I do remember in junior high, a teacher, I don't even, I'm such a failure dropout in school. So I don't even remember what these words are in school, but it's he, she, and it.

Do you know what those are? Well, they're pronouns, you know. Is it a pronoun? Yeah. Okay. See, I don't know. I truly have a seventh grade education. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I know how to use the language. I don't know what the parts are called. I know how to drive a car, but I don't know what an parts are called you know it's like i know how to drive a car but i don't know you know right yeah alternator is well i remember the teacher had he she and it on the board and i yelled out he shit he shit and everybody laughed so hard and i got booted out of class. But I feel like I knew before then. I just, that one really stuck out where I yelled, where I could legitimately yell, he shit in class. Yeah, because I was a smart ass and I found early on too that like if you make a teacher laugh when they're mad at you,

it's really like quite the power move. Yeah, this teacher didn't laugh at that. Yeah. No, no. I mean, I made my teachers laugh quite often, but not in that moment. That was like unacceptable. Yeah. He shit. He shit. He shit. He shit. Yeah, but you were Southern too. So it's also, you know, it's shit. Yeah, well, yeah. And I was actually, I was in Texas at the time and it really sounded right. It just sounded like I said, he shit.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Now, do you consider yourself Southern? Like, do you still feel like you have a Southern sort of, you know, cause like a lot of Southern people really hold onto that identity. Yeah, I feel like I do. Yeah.

And I, yeah, I feel very connected to it. Most of my family are still in Mississippi, Louisiana, and Texas. I have some family in California and then distant family that I've never met in like Boston or, you know, wherever. But yeah, and I still go back all the time. Even Stephanie's been to Mississippi with me 15 times now. Wow. Yeah. Wow.

So we go back quite often. Yeah. Do you have like a house there or anything? Do you stay there in the summer times? Well, in the summer time, that would be the worst time to be there. Well, unless you're married to Stephanie Allen. She loves the heat and humidity. She loves to be dripping in sweat and humid.

And I'm like, okay. What's wrong with you? I know. And I'm like, okay. What's wrong with you? I know. Well, and she was very shut off to the idea of Mississippi when we first met. Yeah.

And I was like, I understand, but there are great people there, and it is beautiful. And my family, I just, I was excited to show it to her, and she got out there and truly it's her favorite place to go is her first time to travel which will be in two weeks will be to mississippi the first time to travel in two years and that was where she wanted to go wow wow yeah so it's crazy but um it all works it's so lucky oh my gosh and because she really took a turn she was truly like mississippi she's like oh gosh and um and i i i understand and i am aware of what mississippi is known for but there's other great stuff. Yes. Yeah, but it really does have an identity that's pretty solid. Absolutely.

But I mean, Oprah Winfrey is from Mississippi. You know what I mean? It's churned out some great people, some great music, and some beautiful areas. And then there are some other things that are absolutely terrible where's stephanie from she is from california but her family went back and forth between new york and california um all through her upbringing so yeah because i i found because i'm from my ex-wife was from Louisiana.

Where? And from Covington, you know, right across the lake from New Orleans. Yeah, actually, my cousin in my hometown was married to someone from Covington, and they had like a family commune out there, basically. Yeah, it's a beautiful town. It's like a southern gothic kind of dream you know like old oaks with moss hanging off them and old houses and just yeah it's just a beautiful town and coming from yorkville illinois which is just suburban you know kind of rural slash suburban America flat bean fields

you know McDonald's I was like wow this is you know I ended up liking Louisiana probably more than she did right the food and just going down there and for me it was always fun I didn't the heat I could do without and unfortunately we always had to go in August. Cause that's when I would get two weeks off. Oh yeah. Oh. And it was like, there were some of our biggest family fights were walking somewhere that took half an hour in Louisiana. Were you walking really slowly? Like you're trying as fast as our sweating would allow us okay okay but like there was one particular morning where it was like not only us and our kids but like my wife's sister and her kids going to a breakfast place that we didn't realize had been that is now closed of course so it was like a half an hour walk to there and then coming back and not knowing where we're going to go and everyone just screaming at each other.

And my son had given me his shoes, which I said, like, you're going to step on something. Put your shoes on. He's like, no, I don't want to wear my shoes. And I was walking right behind him. And he said something really smart ass to me. And I was like two inches from his head and I bonked his shoes off the back of his head. And he yelled, dad threw a shoe at my head. No.

Well, technically, yes, I guess I did. But it was from two inches away. Oh, my gosh. All of this taking place in Louisiana. I know. It's like right. Yeah. It was nobody batted an eye.

It was quite normal. Right now. You're you're part of a bigger family. You got a bunch of siblings, right? Don't you have a few? Well, my brother and I were raised together, and then my father had several kids that we were not raised with. Okay. Yeah.

And was your dad home for a while? Because I know you were kind of mostly raised by a single mom. Well, I was raised by my mother and my stepfather. Okay. And then my mother and my father split up when I was six months old. Oh, wow. Yeah. So I saw him here and there through my childhood.

And, but yeah. There wasn't a priority put on him keeping up with you? I mean, I don't know. It didn't seem like there was a priority. He was kind of out of pocket. And then he would pop up here and there. And he told me later that he sobered up, essentially. I see.

He was a bit of a partier and job-to-job, city-to-city kind of person. Part of another long Southern tradition, probably. Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah. The drifter. Yeah.

My father was a drifter and carried, you know, a gun on him. Really? Yeah. And, you know, pistol in his cowboy boot type kind of guy. Wow. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah.

I, you know, it was, it was a whole different world when my brother and I would go visit him because, you know, his neighbors, the kids next door would come over and see if we wanted to go raccoon hunting and yeah and uh that wasn't really the mississippi that i was uh right i mean i spent there's different kinds of south you know there's kind of the more proper south and the more um yeah my father's world when we went to visit him was just uh yeah it was just there were guns and there were there was raccoon hunting and there was uh just no real stability there uh-huh so were you around a lot of guns when you were young no just when we went to just when you went to your dad yeah just when we went to our father's house. I mean, he carried like a holster across his chest and like a pistol in his boot and a knife in his boot.

And, you know, yeah, I don't know. Those kind of people, it's always like, what do you think? Like, I never really felt like, oh, man, I wish i'd had a knife in my boot yeah you know encounter well i don't really know what my father was up to honestly he talked about being involved in the mississippi mafia and i don't know what was going on in his world and uh and he passed away you know maybe a couple of years after my mother did and i don't i don't know i'll never know what was going on there did you miss him when you were a kid like oh yeah yeah yeah i think that i it was more the idea i when i saw, even though there was a lot of guns and raccoons around, he was a really funny, smart guy. And it was the typical thing of you go to your father's house, your single father, and he lives a single life and it's you know he had a cb when we'd be

driving around get on the cb and talk to truckers and just fun weird stuff going on um i mean not always fun but you know just some weird stuff going on and um sometimes fun weird and uh sometimes fun weird and uh and sometimes not so fun weird but uh but you know and then i'd go home and i have to go to school and do all the grind of real life and then i could think oh if i was just i called him pat if i was at pat's house you, I could just hang out and just, you know, eat pizza and play video games and, you know, talk on the CB with truckers while we're flying down the highway. Right, shoot things out the back door, that kind of thing. That's right, yeah. And so I really romanticized who he was and what our relationship was. And, yeah, I missed what I think I missed what I wished we had.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. School was not for you, as you sort of made a remark about. No, it was not. Was that evident from the very beginning? You know, I think it did really well when it was stuff like colors and shapes and one plus one things. Right. And then when it started to get into like carry a number and divide and, you know, and read a book that's two inches thick. I was like, ah, I'm out, you know.

Not interested. Yeah, you lost me. I thought I was just going to be coloring all the time. But I think I did pretty well until truly only like second grade. Really? And then, yeah yeah third maybe and then I just took a nosedive and um I failed three grades and then dropped out um and truly the last grade that I graduated was seventh wow did now is that was that stressful like did you feel the stress of it? Oh yeah. Yeah. Cause I can't even,

I mean, I had, I was a terrible procrastinator and had trouble getting homework done. And I just remember the stress of that. Like, it was like, I felt like an old man, you know, just, but I just couldn't get things done, you know? So I can only imagine what it's like to fail grades and just how the toll that would take on you yeah it was stressful but i was very much like i'm not gonna be doing that you know yeah um i remember this is stephanie loves this story but basically sometimes when teachers would hand me um you know a paper worksheet to fill out i would just write an f at the top and then just put my head down oh my god i just uh god i just went into it and um and also for a teacher that's just basically saying i'm not buying what you're selling so

just leave me alone leave me out of this yeah do that with those other kids those other saps go ahead i think it really drove them crazy um but you know i was oddly popular uh people liked me and my teachers liked me and i even became close with my vice principal. Wow. And I'm still in touch with her to this day. Wow. But yeah, I don't know. I walked this weird line of being a total failure, dropout, class clown, but I felt like people liked me.

Yeah. I don't know. Were there things that you knew you were good at that sort of like buoyed you against the feeling, this feeling of like not making it in this scholastic world? Yeah. And I also want to say, even though there were people that liked me, there were certainly a handful of people that did not like me um well i'm so glad you got that out because you really made it seem

like it was a total ego trip going on no i was just thinking like oh my gosh there were teachers that i am certain you know if they heard i saw my worst days alive, they'd be thrilled. But yeah, I spent a lot of time playing guitar and really, really focused on that. I played guitar and I played soccer. I played soccer and I was pretty good at both of those and just very into music and drawing and playing guitar. And that was kind of it. Yeah. better at guitar than I actually was because I was like real like Fonzarelli cool and like smoked cigarettes and I was failing and I had a guitar and so I think people were like whoa yeah she's I mean I would hear about how good I was at guitar and I think I was just pretty good

at guitar you know yeah but I let it go that I was really good at guitar you know no one really saw it and how do you how does i mean is your mom just kind of like does she give up after a while and just let you drop out when you because you dropped out did you drop out when you were 16 or you know it's probably i always tell people i was like 35 because I failed so many classes, so many grades that I was so much older. Yeah. I think I was like 17 maybe when I dropped out. But my mother was an artist and she wasn't really interested in conventional stuff. But I think she would try to get me to do what i was supposed to

do um but it wasn't very believable when my mother was really trying to like crack the whip where my stepfather he was you know he was in the military and he's very, you know, buttoned up. Yeah. And then he married my mother who was like this wild, funny, artistic, just really. Free spirit. Yes, sir. Yeah. So it was a real, I mean, I'm glad I had what I had growing up because I think that they both influenced me perfectly. Because I do feel like I am very regimented, free-spirited, you know.

I understand that. I know it. Yeah. Because you can, yeah. Because you can, it's like not giving a shit but having standards. Well, it also reminds me of even in writing, you know, like say you're writing a script. Yeah. There's a format that works. Mm-hmm. And as long as you use that format, you can kind of do whatever you want within the script. And I'm one of those people where I take chances and risks and I'm free spirited in ways,

but I also, there's a lot of rules that I will not break, you know, in life and the world. And, you know, I call my- Such as? I mean, are there some that you can, that are right off the top? Well, there's nothing where it's like, where I'm always like, this is the golden rule. I must not break this rule. Nothing where it's like, where I'm always like, this is the golden rule. I must not break this rule.

But I just try to be a decent person that's like not destroying my life or others or the world around me to the best of my ability. But I'm still going to break other rules, you know, and have a good time. So, yeah. I mean, because I'm, I would sort of be the same way and where I kind of feel like live and let live and let everybody do whatever they want, but just don't be rude to people, you know, but don't be rude, you know, and don't be, you know, like it's sort of do whatever you want, but take everyone's feelings into account or, you know, or like I always in a workplace, especially like most of my roles are kind of like workplace ones where it's like, if you, if you're having a miserable day, keep it to yourself. Like there's no reason that you have

to, that just cause you're feeling bad, you have to make everyone around you feeling bad. Save that for family. That's what family does, not what co-workers do. Right. Yeah. So when you get out of school, I mean, what are you thinking as you're a teen? And you get all these like, so what do you want to do with yourself? And what do you want to do with your life? What was your answer to that? Or did you have one? You know, I think that because I loved music so much, I wanted to figure out a way to get into that world. And for a while I thought, oh, well, I'll probably, you know, be a rhythm guitar player in a band or something. And I was so nervous playing

even three chords in front of anyone. It was just debilitating. I couldn't do it. And then my first girlfriend was in a band and so, and she was incredible. She could play every instrument. And so, I started working with her band and helping book them and promote them and ultimately started managing her band. And that was when I lived in Denver. And then other local bands asked me to help them out. So I started working in the music business and, you know, scraping by. But I was thinking, oh, okay, yeah, I guess this is what I'm going to do. Yeah, I like this. This is fun. Okay, cool.

Yeah. And I think it wasn't until probably maybe 10 years ago, I think back on that time. And I think back on any time in my life that I'm talking with a high pitch like that. I'm like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's good. It's good. No, I like that. I'm like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's good. It's good. No, I like her. Yeah, no, yeah, it's going well.

There's not truth there. And it reminds me of when I met Stephanie. It was the first time when I was dating somebody that my voice came down to this place of, she's incredible. I want to be with this person yeah and that's how it was for me with comedy when i thought i was happy in music speaking in a high voice of yeah it's good yeah this is what i'm gonna do yeah yeah i'm happy i'm so happy. And then I was like, oh, wow. I'm like beside myself with with comedy. I'm just yeah. It just. Yeah.

So now before we get to that, I do want to I want to and if it's OK to ask about like, you know, you're coming out experience or like was it were was high school tough i mean were you was there any kind of like in terms of being a gay kid or were you out in any way and i mean i can't imagine mississippi being easy well i was in texas uh during those years and um and i know it's probably going to shock you when you look at my face and I tell you this I did not know I was gay and um so teen years were hard but um for many different reasons and one of them was not because I was like oh I'm gay and this is tough um but I did come out when I was I I don't know, 20 or 21. And I remember I was telling my mother and she had a pocket of air in her cheek on one side. And then she moved it to the other. And she would just go.

When I was telling her that I was gay. And I said, you're uncomfortable. And she said, no, I'm not. And she did the high pitch. No, no. And I said, you're uncomfortable. And she said, no, I'm not. And she did the high pitch. She said, no, no. And I said, no, no. I said, well, you're moving air from one cheek to the other and back to the other. And it just feels like maybe you're uncomfortable.

And then she started laughing. And she said, well, maybe a little bit. But, you know. And she said, well, maybe, maybe a little bit, but, you know, so, yeah, I think that was her reaction as well. When I told her I didn't believe in God and, you know. Oh, you gave her the whole thing all at once? Not all at once. It was just different points in my life where I was like, I don't believe in God or I don't believe in Santa. I don't believe in God.

I don't believe in boys. I don't, you know what I mean? Like it was just, I went down the line. Yeah. I always don't exist in God. I don't believe in boys. I don't, you know what I mean? Like, it was just, I went down the line. Yeah, I always don't exist in my world. And my mother's air would go from one cheek to the next. And I'd call her out on it. Well, when you say you didn't know, were you just kind of, like, nebulous about, like, desire? Or, you know, was it just something that didn't enter into your head?

Like, who am I attracted to and who do I have a crush on? Yeah, no, I had crushes on guys. Yeah. I ran around with, like, the rock and roll kids. And, you know, if somebody played the drums or the guitar, I was just like, oh, my gosh, I have a crush on this guy. I got a crush on that guy, you know. And I was like like i thought for years deeply in love with eddie van halen um but uh that didn't work out for me yeah it did not

no i just i just had uh valerie bertinelli on this show we talked about him yeah yeah yeah i've never met her but um she's lovely yeah i worked with her a couple of times. No, she's amazing. She's really great. Yeah. I'm going to go do her food network or cooking network or whatever show. Well, tell her hello. I will. I will.

Definitely. Tell her who I am and then tell her I said hello. I'm sure she knows who you are. I will. I'll make sure she knows. I'll bring a packet, you know. I'll bring a packet you know i'll bring a well actually on my hp my i did this animated stand-up special on hbo and in that special i actually talk

about my love for eddie van halen and there's an animated eddie van halen in that special oh wow i'll let her know well now how how does comedy happen? You know, you're booking bands. You're going around. Probably at this point, you know, because as a road manager, you've got to have a gun. You probably had a gun at that point, right? I mean, you would think. Yeah. I had a slingshot in my back pocket.

You know, I was more Dennis the Menace, you know. Denise the Menace. Denise the Menace. The Menace, yeah. Yeah. Denise the menace. Denise the menace. The menace, yeah.

So, I, like I said, I was living in Denver, and I had plans for college and graduate school and they had career ambitions. And I just went where they went and I had gone through a breakup. And when they moved to Los Angeles, I just thought, oh, I could probably do what I'm doing in Denver and Los Angeles. So I moved there with no intention to get into comedy. Yeah. And I slept on their couch. And then when I got to Los Angeles, I saw in the LA Weekly all these opportunities to get on stage and do open mics. And it had been a secret desire of mine. But when I looked in the paper in Denver, and I had gone to the comedy club in Denver, but when I looked at open mics in Denver, it only existed at the main comedy club.

And you would have to sign up months in advance to get on stage for three minutes. And then they let you know if you come back or not. And I was so intimidated and I was just like, I guess I'll never do that. And then when I got to Los Angeles and I saw that you could do standup in a laundromat and a bar and a coffee shop, Stand up in a laundromat and a bar and a coffee shop, anywhere. Yeah. I thought, well, I can fly under the radar and check this out. And it's funny because most people, when they find out that I started stand up in Los Angeles, they're like, that's insane.

It's so intimidating. And I'm like, no, it's not. Try getting on stage. And this is, you know, 25 years ago in another city where they don't have a million open mics to go try. Whereas LA, I couldn't believe it and and so i went and got on stage every night or no not gone on stage i went to a different open mic or booked show every night for two weeks with my friend one of my friends that i moved out there with and i just felt like i feel like i could do this and that's not to say i was special because i do feel like many people watch stand up and think I could do that yes but I was one of those people that thought I think I could do that and I am 25 years in almost 25 years in now and well and also too at that time I think 25 years ago that would have been a very experimental time in Los Angeles, too, for stand-up.

I mean, you know, and so you do also, too, there's an audience. It's like in Chicago, doing improv in Chicago is easy because the audience understands they're making this up. You're not going to see, you know, an episode of Saturday Night Live tonight. You're going to see a bunch of young people making stuff up on stage. And I think it was probably the same thing in Los Angeles. There's probably audiences that are willing to give you some space to figure out what you're doing, you know? For sure. I feel so lucky that I started in Los Angeles because there are some people that think that you have to wait for an official invitation to move to Los Angeles, you know, and that's really, I've heard

that, that like you have to wait till you are signed by some sort of reps or until you are, you know, booked on a TV show. you have to wait for the proper invitation. Yeah. And I was like, there's no world where I would be. Where that would work. No, no, no. What did you tell your friend when you were going to see all these shows? Did you say like, I have this in mind that I'm going to be doing this?

Yeah, she had known. I mean, we have been friends since we were small children and she's the godmother of my children, but she knew that I had always wanted to do stand-up and I just didn't think it was within my reach or a possibility. I just thought people like Paula Poundstone and Richard Pryor, I actually, I didn't know how they did what they did. I thought I couldn't connect the dots of turning on HBO or Showtime or something like that. And you just hear somebody say, ladies and gentlemen, Paula Poundstone. And then she just walks on.

And then I'm like, who are all these people in the audience? How did they know to come see Paula Poundstone? You know what I mean? Like, how did they know to go to Richard Pryor's show? How do I get someone to announce my name so I can go on stage? You know? And how do I get all these people to show up? I just didn't, I knew with a band, you put your band together in your garage and you try to get some songs together and you send your tape to Capitol Records in the 80s or whatever it is, Geffen Records. Right. But with comedy, I was like- Yeah, how does this work? How the hell do you get-

What's the infrastructure? Yeah. Yeah, that's something I think that everybody, you know, has to kind of, because I know for me, it was the same thing. It's like, how does any of that work? You know, the reason he, I didn't think like I'm going to be a comedic actor because it's just like, there was like, you know, I want to be a spaceman. You know, it's the same kind of thing. It's like, how do you get there? You don't know.

Yeah. It felt like becoming president of the united states which we've now learned is that there's you can do yeah there's many back doors and little windows that you can crawl in and and you're in but i it really did feel like become a spaceman become president become a stand-up comedian. How do you do it? And when you started out, what kind of stuff were you doing? I mean, because you've done a lot of your stuff is kind of conceptual. You famously on our show one time just came and dragged a stool around the stage, and it was pretty hilarious.

It's like one thing to describe it, but it's another thing to see it like. And that, well, you know, and that kind of, you know, while we're talking about that, that takes a real kind of, a real strong sense of yourself, a strong sense of like what works for you on stage and a strong sense of what kind of comedian you want to be.

And a lot of you know bravery too you know to like i mean you know it's not bravery like you're not gonna die but you could do the comedic dying you know you could you could sit in front of quiet people while you're dragging a stool around um what how did you get from how do i get up there to, I'm going to just drag a stool around the stage? Well, I started, and I was very, you know, kind of like how I talked about being nervous playing the guitar in front of anyone. I was nervous to do stand-up. But when I was nervous playing the guitar, my hands would shake, and so it made

it impossible for me to play guitar. Whereas with stand-up, I got my hands in my pockets and nobody could really see how nervous I was. I'm sure they could, but I thought I was hiding it. And I think I just

really leaned into the like stoic deadpan dry one-liners um short setup delivery kind of jokes and that was kind of all, it wasn't all based in fear because I really am a dry, deadpan, you know, person. I'm familiar, yes. Yes. But my very early days, it was like real dry, real deadpan, no movement in my body whatsoever. And I did that for a while and it was very much around writing a good joke. And that's what I did was I just told jokes and then I went home. And then as I got older and

like, you know, five years into standup, I started to, not five years in, but along the way, I started to have this interest in, oh, I think I'd wanna tell a longer joke or I'd wanna maybe smile or even sometimes I wanna laugh on stage and I refuse to let myself break a smile. I just got so locked into this idea of who I was. And then I started to think, if somebody else, another comedian asked me,

hey, what do you think I should do? I really want to play the guitar and sing a funny song, but I only do one-liners. I would never say, oh my gosh, don't change what you do. Don't ever grow. Don't do anything differently. You have to always stay in the box that you built for yourself. I would never say that. And so I started slowly over the years allowing myself to tell longer jokes, to tell 15-minute stories, to do physical bits and conceptual bits, and then got to the place where I told personal stories. And I just started, I guess it's just taking my own advice, which is that I would always tell somebody, you should do what you feel like you wanna do. Yeah.

Yeah, that's- And I think what's really interesting too, is even though I now move around, I smile, I laugh, I tell stories, I do anything I want on stage, I'm still considered low-key, dry, and all of the things, because that core of who you are is still going to present itself, no matter what you're doing. Right.

Yeah, you'll never be flamboyant. You'll never be high energy, like a nonstop thrill ride. Take N taro. Well, I mean, well, that's I mean, I like that. I like that. I like and is it did you ever find like that? It was easier for you in some way to tell those personal kind of things on stage than it was to tell them in in your actual life? Like, did stage become a place that was kind of safer for you than offstage ever?

No, not really. Because I felt like offstage I talked about and told people anything. And, you know, I had no filter whatsoever. Yeah, yeah. And then when I went on stage, I just removed it. Yeah. Yeah. And, um, and then when I went on stage, I just, I had that, I, I just removed it. Yeah. Um, and I just told observational jokes, some, a few personal things here and there, but nothing like what I've allowed myself to do now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is standup still your favorite thing at all the stuff that you do?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's, it is, it is by far my favorite thing. I mean, I can't, when I say by far, it makes it sound like I don't enjoy acting or, but, or anything else, but I would just say it's it's what i am you know i i feel like i remember seeing myself interviewed on some tv show and underneath me it said actor

and i was like that's hilarious they put actor and and then i i i realized that some people they don't know i'm do stand-up like i'm on star trek and a lot of the viewers there they'll stumble upon my stand-up they're like oh i didn't know she did stand-up i'm like that's hilarious yeah yeah as you were as you were doing stand-up like did it was it always that way did you ever were you doing stand-up and then felt like i need to to spread this to something bigger i need to enlarge what i'm doing or it was in your mind that you were going to kind of be a road dog kind of comic well i think um when i first started probably the first five years or so, I was like, all right, I'm a stand-up and I'm a road dog. And I'm just, this is going to be my life.

I was so excited. I was going to get from comedy clubs to theaters. I just wanted to grow my… Well, from laundromats to comedy clubs. Laundromats to comedy clubs. To arenas. Yeah. Yeah, to arena, to football fields.

Right. And, but it just kind of naturally happened. It's funny because I never picked up on the pattern that stand-up comedians got their own TV shows. I never even, I never even thought about that. I mean, I truly,

I knew that, you know, that people were standups, but I, I just didn't even think about it. And, and, but I've never had a dream of having my own sitcom or I was truly just in it for standup, but in it for standup,

but then naturally doing standup, people started to ask me to guest star on their TV show or make an appearance on some thing and in a movie. And, and it just kind of started happening. And I mean, I went my whole career until I think four years ago never having an agent aside from a booking agent yeah i never had an agent i wasn't i i didn't i didn't it just

wasn't in my world yeah um so any tv or film i was getting was just on my own and i think that's still happening is you either you likely know what i do if you're asking me, you know, do you want Tig in space or do you want Tig in a zombie film or do you want Tig, you know, it's, there's not a huge leap when you're hiring me. hiring me when you know is one mississippi the first thing that you did that was your own that you kind of produced yourself to be in aside from stand-up because you had your own show there where and where was it i can't remember uh in mississippi no no i mean where did people see it on amazon on amazon apparently it just got not apparently it it did just get picked up by Hulu. So it can be seen now on Hulu. Oh, wow. Yeah.

But that was the first thing. And that was brought to me as an option to create my own show. But it wasn't something I was out pitching. It was after I had, you know, been famously sick with cancer and an intestinal disease. Best thing that ever happened to you. It was quite a time. But soon after that, I was approached about doing a TV show. And I thought, oh, this will be a way to, you know, maybe I could do a show about my life, but make it where I don't know where things are going.

And I can bring in a writer's room and they can bring their experiences. are going and I can bring in a writer's room and they can bring their experiences and it can be you know just a mix of my stories and other people's and then it'll be more exciting to tell that story because I don't know where

I didn't know where my life was going at that point so that was the first time that I did and I haven't had a show since then. I haven't really. Well, but you and Stephanie produced and directed a movie. Yeah, Stephanie and I, it's funny because we were so drawn to each other's sense of humor. And we really, really make each other laugh very hard.

humor and uh we really really make each other laugh very hard and um and it wasn't until one mississippi that we started creatively collaborating because she does sketch and an improv and acting and she writes and and i was doing whatever it was i was doing over here and then when we worked together on one mississippi we were just like oh this is so fun. And we've continued to do that. And we've created shows and written and produced and directed movies together and acted in movies and stuff since then. And we started a production company. And as time has gone gone on we've realized in doing all these different roles together and separately that um we love working together but she is more the writer director and i am more of the you know performer and we create things together and um and uh produce things together but um but yeah so our different roles have you know it took a little while for it to shake out and for us

to say oh i think i actually prefer this more than that and um and i do feel like it's equally as exciting to realize what you don't want to do as what you do want to do. Yes, absolutely. It's so liberating and exciting. Oh, my gosh. Oh, yeah. I want to do that. Yeah. The thing that you think you should be doing.

Yeah. I don't want to do it. Yeah. I don't want to do it. No interest. No more. Goodbye. No, thank you.

Is it ever tough to work with somebody that you're married to? I mean, does it ever kind of like where you're like, oh, we just spent all day talking about this and now we got to talk about who's going to unload the dishwasher, you know, that kind of thing? No. Really? I hope that never. Yeah.

I hope it never happens. But I mean, we certainly have our rough moments and our issues and whatever. And everyone's heard about them all over the tabloids. We are on the cover of every, every independent DIY lesbian magazine. Are they split spill? Are they arguing in bed about that outline they need to write? But, yeah, we both kind of, we think it's fun to be brushing our teeth together, washing our faces at night and being like, you know what? I think that character actually should have a job, you know?

Yeah. And, um. That's great. That's great. Yeah. It's very healthy, you know? It's fun. And, and, you know, we, I don't know, we'll, we'll both have different projects or hired

by somebody else. And we feel the same, which is sitting in our trailer uh when the other one's at home feeling like ah i wish stephanie was here yeah um and you know whatever i know we've we're going on i think almost 10 years and obviously people have longer marriages and they're like, we always hear the, oh, just wait. Oh, things change. And I'm like, I don't. You guys are going to fail. Just wait, you'll fail. But it's like, I know that things change and I know that maybe we won't enjoy it down the road or maybe we'll have our biggest fight ever

and never work together. But the time, for the time being, we love working together. And I don't know what to tell people other than that is the truth. Well, God bless you. I know it's enviable. It's very enviable that you can...

And we know we're lucky. Yeah, because, and it's also, that, you know, the idea, one of the main ideas of mental health is the integration of all parts of your life, not compartmentalizing things into different slots. Like, no, if you can make it into one big stew and it's all sort of happy and copacetic, then that's really that's optimal. So it's it's great, you know? But there's also something so fun, even though I've gone and seen Stephanie's improv and everything that she does with that whole world of comedy, and she comes and has seen my stand-up world, it is so fun to have also these different worlds. not that we're compartmentalizing, but we have these different worlds that we participate in. And she's in this all-female basketball league that she

plays in. And I love bringing our sons to go watch her play. And so, I don't know. It's fun to integrate, and it's also fun to see her head out the door and go out to dinner with her friends that I'm not close with or her book club or whatever it is she's doing. And I'm like, have a blast and can't wait to see you. Enjoy those people I don't. I don't get them. So enjoy those people. I don't,

I don't get them. I'm, I'm actually the, whenever she's had book club at our house, I am the epitome of the person, the spouse that comes downstairs and lingers and doesn't want to leave. Like I enjoy her friends so much. There's some of the funniest people in comedy. I'm just like,

oh my gosh. And then I'll point it out where I'm like, I know I should head back upstairs, but you know, can I just have some crackers too? I want companies here. I want to be around. Stephanie will be like,

Tig, are you lingering? Like, yeah, I guess I am. Yeah, alright. stephanie will be like tig are you lingering like yeah i guess yeah all right yeah um well where are you headed to like where do you see everything going at this point is there something that you're that you're not doing that you wish you were doing i mean is there something in parenting some area in parenting you want to you're heading towards that you wish you were doing? I mean, is there something in parenting, some area in parenting you're heading towards? I mean, there's a few things that are always on my mind, and one of them is always trying to figure out how to balance my life, because I always tell people,

it's very busy to be a person alive on the planet. It's very busy to be a person alive on the planet. It's very busy to be in a relationship. It's very busy to have children. It's very busy to have a career. And then to have a social life and extended family, there's so much pulling from so many different directions. so much pulling from so many different directions and um i'm always in search of finding that balance to spend uh the best quality time with my family and i'm very excited we're about to go on a two-week vacation um to mississippi we're going to mississippi and we're going to Mississippi and we're going to Hawaii. Nice. The old one-two punch, the classic.

The classic. You go Mississippi, you go Hawaii. Mississippi with a Hawaii chaser. Well, those are truly Stephanie's favorites. She's like, oh my God, please, Mississippi and Hawaii. That's great. And so, yeah, there's that. And I'm very into, during the pandemic, I got a plant-based nutrition certification.

Oh, wow. And so I'm very interested in learning more about health. And I've been helping, like I help my next door neighbor through a health situation. And my kid's parent at school, he had a situation and he's going to be calling me. And obviously I'm not a doctor, but if people are interested, I've just been. You're certified. I've just been, um, you're certified. I'm a certified, uh, whatever I am. And I want to help people that have an interest in, uh, in helping themselves or that are interested in, in that kind of help. If you think it's a vegetarian or vegan or both, a combination. Yeah. Yeah. Fully plant-based. Yeah, and Stephanie and our kids were all plant-based.

Wow. And so, yeah, I think that's kind of it is I want to do that kind of stuff. Oh, cool. Yeah. Yeah. And just maintain my life. I want to maintain it. Yeah, yeah.

Well, what's the biggest, you know, what lesson have you learned? I mean, whether it's a form of advice you can take or, I mean, what do you think kind of up till this point kind of the moral of your story has been? Well, I saw the saying once and I moved a few words or changed a few words for it to make sense to anyone and everyone. And I think about it all the time. And it's always the advice I give anyone that asks. And it's the best gift you can give anybody is a well-lived life of your own. And to me, that's just the greatest idea. Because if your parents are living a good life, if your kids are living a good life, you're anybody. If you know that they're happy and thriving, then you're not held down in any way.

Yeah. So. Yeah. People have to keep up their end of that bargain or else it gets, it gets sticky. You know, you get, I mean, I'm only, I'm thinking personally, I'm thinking like, I'm on board with you, but there's other people that are in my life would be like, but wait, why not live for me too you know like what about the how much i need you to do for me you know that kind of thing but i mean that that's not

your concern yeah you you have to just focus on am i am i happy am i thriving am i healthy I happy? Am I thriving? Am I healthy? Am I engaged in my life? Then that's going to release people, whether they believe it or not. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for doing this. Of course. Thanks for inviting me. Yeah. No, you got anything you want to promote? I mean, you're Jet Reno on Star Trek Discovery. I am. I am Jet Reno. That's a recurring thing. Any podcasts or anything you want to? I have two podcasts, Sandy. Well, spit them out. Well, I'm trying to.

All right. I'm going to be quiet. But you won't stop talking about Jet Reno. I'm going to be quiet. I'm going to stop talking about Janet Reno. How dare you. Oh, Jet Reno, right. I have a podcast called Tig and Cheryl True Story. Cheryl Hines and I talk about a new documentary every week. And it should not be confused with a serious public radio type show or a movie review.

Or one in which real information will be shared. Yeah. Or, you know, sometimes it takes a while, if ever, to get to the documentary. One of my favorite things is when reviews come in that are like, what the hell is this? This is the worst review show. They, you know, all they did was giggle. And then I have another podcast called Don't Ask Tig, and it's a weekly advice show. And so those are my podcasts. And I'm on tour. On tour. You go to tignotaro.com and you'll see where I'm performing.

There's links to the shows. Come see me. The juggernaut will pass through your town, people. That's right. At some point. The very, very low-key juggernaut will be flying through your town. I'll be in Chicago tomorrow. Oh, nice.

Yeah. Enjoy. That's your home state? It is my home area. Yeah, I just had a bunch of family out from there, and then they went home to snow. Ha ha. Ha ha.

Way to go. Well, thank you so much for taking an hour and spending some time with me. Of course. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. Good luck. Enjoy your tour. Enjoy your Mississippi-Hawaii one-two punch.

Tell Stephanie I said hi. Will do. I really appreciate you having me. I think you're one of the funniest people alive. Oh, thank you. You're so, so funny. Thank you so much. And you too, you know.

Well, you know, I do what I can do. You do. All right. Well, I'll hopefully see you soon, Andy. Thank you. All right. Thank you. And thank all of you out there for listening.

We'll be back next week with more Three Questions. Big, big love for you. The Three Questions with Andy Richter is a Team Coco and Your Wolf production. It is produced by Lane Gerbig, engineered by Marina Pice, and talent produced by Kalitza Hayek. The associate producer is Jen Samples, supervising producer Aaron Blair, and executive producers Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Make sure to rate and review The Three Questions with Andy Richter on Apple Podcasts.