The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Todd Glass

Episode Date: July 14, 2026

Comedian Todd Glass joins Andy Richter to discuss learning from young people, why he loves a dry sink, how an on-stage heart-attack changed his life, coming out in his late forties, and much more. Do you want to talk to Andy and his comedian friends live on SiriusXM’s Conan O’Brien Radio? Tell us your favorite dinner party story (about anything!) or ask a question - leave a voicemail at 855-266-2604 or fill out our Google Form at BIT.LY/CALLANDYRICHTER. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Welcome back to the three questions. I'm the host of the three questions. I'm Andy Richter, and today I'm talking to my old friend comedian Todd Glass. You can find his live dates at Toddglass.com, and you can also check out the Todd Glass Show on Instagram at the Todd Glass show. And I recommend you do because it's hilarious. Here's my conversation with the very, very funny Todd Glass. I'm I the only one, but when I reach my deductible, I go to the dermatologist like fuck just straight. I just go. Because it's free, you know. And I'm like, just whatever I can do.

Yeah, just zap it off, zap it off. If you don't have to pay someone to look at your body, why not? Yeah, right? It's a thrill. No one wants to see my body these days. It's like someone that they have to sort of contractually obligated. Yeah, I know, but he gave me an A plus. Nothing going on.

Well, I mean, it's just a, it's a, I go for once of your checkup. Just to, you know, make sure nothing nasty is growing and there's no skin cancer. Yeah. But I avoid the sun now. So I don't, I'm not. Did you never used to go in the sun? I grew up in the Midwest where you just, you get that base burn. Yeah.

And then you just, and, you know, like sunscreen, you know, which we called sun tan lotion. Right. Doesn't exist, you know. It's just, you went out, you got a terrible burn. And then that was it, you know. I hate, I always hated the sun. so now I can look like just I didn't stay out of it for health reasons just because I just hate the sun. Yeah, yeah.

Now I can tell like my neck compared to other people my age's neck. Absolutely. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's amazing. The huge difference I think in like aging and you know those those memy things of like here's the ages of the Mary Tyler Moore show cast and they're all like 30. Like Lou Grant, 36 or Ed Asner. That's all cigarettes, I think.

It's all cigarettes and booze. I think cigarettes and booze just made like these pugnacious faces out of, and man, especially. And at first you're like, you want to make sure, wait, am I, do I look like that? And I'm just older now and I don't realize it. And then you go, no, you do not look like that. No, you don't have a joke in my act. People go, oh, back then, no one drank water. And, you know, that's another thing.

No one, I didn't drink water. Even though I was 35, I learned that you had to drink water. If you walked around with like a canteen, which is basically what we do now, People would be like, what are you fucking camping? What's going on? Yeah. I always say, like, yeah, maybe we need to do. What is the children that?

Hope you go back there. We didn't drink water. Yeah, Archie Bunker was 47. Ryan Reynolds is 50. Right, right. So it's like, yeah, there's a difference. Yeah, there's a difference. Well, hello.

Hello. Thanks for coming in. It's great. I haven't seen you in a long time. It's been a while, yeah. I mean, I see stuff on the internet. You're always funny. You do the Todd Glass show on the little clips.

Yeah, the Instagram. During the pandemic, I, you know, I actually was one of the few that I actually really fell in love with... Isolation? Tick. No. Well, that too. You know, that's funny when you learn that you're not the only one that had the part of it you loved. I mean, then you learn, oh, a lot of people. Yeah, yeah. You know, you just think, wow, me and my ex were like, is this weird? We're sort of enjoying this a little. Yeah. But during the TikTok, I'm...

I'm a bit person. I'm really a bit. I love bits. And for that, it worked better than me than X. X I was a part of, but I never really liked it. But TikTok and Instagram, so I had a podcast. I stopped and I just embraced into that. And I loving it.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I love Twitter because it was, you know, like it was like a word exercise. It was like a word puzzle, but in joke form. And especially when you're constrained by 140 characters, it became. like a high coo was hard for me yeah see and i that's like a good puzzle for me whereas like the performing things i i just feel like an ass you know i just feel like an ass doing bits and i'm always embarrassed like you know to do self-tapes i make sean my producer here do them with me because i it's in front of my like i can handle him being embarrassed in front of him but my family it's

already a tenuous grasp on legitimacy. Like him, he's got to listen to me. But yeah, I like doing the bits and I have a guy that, he's like a 25-year-old and he knows how to control me and keep me short. But the bits are fun. I don't have to edit them.

Right. Yeah, you get a kid to do it all, yeah. And most of the time, 95% of the time he sends me stuff back the next day and I go, oh, my, Chad, I love this. Yeah. So that's been like a lot of fun for me and definitely introduced me to a new younger audience. Oh, cool.

It's been good for my life. And it's been good. Oh, that's great. It's been noticeable. Very, you know, I've heard other comedians say this, but it used to be if I was at the gym, somebody would say, you know, they saw you on, you know, it's a show. Yeah. Now, most of the time, it's Instagram or TikTok.

And then if they like you, they'll go consume something longer. So it's not like, you know, I always have to feel like I have to get ahead of people because people are so quick to stomp on youth, but they'll be like, yeah, they don't. watch, if it's not two seconds, they don't watch it, which is not even true. Yeah. They consume shows. Yeah. It's just another form.

And they can... The marketing system is different for them. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I just love that there's like the annoying stranger is like a character that you play often in these and you do it so fantastically. Yeah. A lot of times it's my brother goes, that's you, right?

Like, well, it's based on you. When your brother thinks it's you or? No, he thinks. It's like I have an Airbnb thing where, you know, like where I'm, people are staying in my Airbnb in a skit. And then I go and I go, would you mind drying out the sink at night because I feel better? Or like, don't unfold those towels. Right. But he goes, that's you.

Yeah, I go, yeah, that is me. So they go, oh, it's just. Yeah, because I would feel better. I go, guys, I know this is crazy. I knock on their door like, you know, in the sketch, like at midnight, go, I know this is crazy. And I know I'm so sorry. I shouldn't even be over here. But you dry out the sink or stuff like that.

Because I like a dry out at my house. But why? You never had that? You never know anyone like that? No, no. You too? Oh my God. I'm kidding.

The countertop, yes. Like, yes, the countertop for sure. Yeah. And I, you know, and like I, yeah, you know, I go into a public restroom and it's just like soaked. And I'm, you know, and that, that's my level of anal retentiveness is that I'm like, someone has to wipe up this counter. But to sink. I want to wipe up.

Well, the sink, I'm sure, which you'll find out because people probably send messages and stuff. Yeah. I'm not the only one. Oh, no. I'm not the only one. I'm sure there's some people that, like, get new sinks every month. But it's just drying. I'm not as bad as I used to be.

I don't know why, but it used to be, I had to draw out the sink. Now, maybe the type of sink I have in my kitchen. But the gym thing, I relate with that so much. I go, you ever do a show and then afterwards you drive home and you go, why did I need to, Just share that. Yeah, maybe there's other people. Yeah, but it's usually, it's usually things about people, like, especially, like, family members. And, you know, then I'm like, oh, yeah.

I just get scared that it gets back to people. And it's nothing, like, horribly destructive. It's just kind of bitchy, but it also, you know, like criticisms of people, or, you know, or saying, like, I have a former coworker who, X, Y, and Z, and then knowing, like, Oh, they're going to know that's them. and I'm using them as fodder, but, you know, what you're going to do? People, that's with me, too, especially comedians, because I don't, I like to go places and have everyone like me.

So sometimes I'm afraid to like, but anyway, oh, the gym, you said about trying, like, I have two t-shirts, one I wear to the gym, and then before I get in the car, I don't shower at the gym. I just go in the locker room, put my dry shirt on, yes. And head home. Then I have my wet shirt in my hand. And I always want it. Not that that would be cleanly and I don't do it, but I want to wipe down around the sink.

Yeah, with you, sure. I might as well. I close lockers. You know why? Because I feel like with the lockers closed, it stays cleaner. So I will, but when I get to the gym in the morning, I always go into the dry sauna before I work out just for like two minutes, just to break a sweat. And then I slam all the lockers shut. But I won't do it if anybody sees me.

And that's your workout. That's my workout. Woo! Oh, geez, but my dude's not, I say. There were eight lockers open today. Wow. That's my workout. I go shut all the lockers.

Okay. I don't even really need the other shirt. I act like, let me get this soaking wet shirt up. But I won't do it if anybody sees me. Oh, really? Yeah, I'm very, I'm very one day a guy, an older guy, he goes, you miss one over there? I'm like, oh, shit, he saw me.

Oh, no. Yeah, yeah. So now whenever he comes in, he goes, there's some open over there, which normally I would shut and I go, ha ha ha, but like I don't really want to do it. Will you leave, please? Yes, please leave so I can shut, though. But anyway. Yeah, yeah.

Do you think of yourself as like kind of OCD? You know, that's a good question. Because I know you're very much in touch with mental health. And you even, you know, you talked about it and it kind of made, you did a podcast, right? Yeah. And I talked about a lot of those, you know, those issues. Yeah, yeah. I'm, you know, a lot of times when you say OCD, they think you have, most people think you have like, let's say there's 50 caroristics of that.

Yeah, yeah. They think you have all of them. I don't have with, you know, just touching things or anything like that. Sure. Rituals. Yeah, my brothers, the rituals. Exactly. My brother who teaches and he can spot, like, behavior, not that he's a, but he said, you'd be safe to say you're crazy fucking organized.

Yeah. And like I said, I go, if his hose is unwound. Like, I like my hose nicely. He goes, if it's not, if it's not perfect, and you get in your car and you see it, can you go? I go, it's funny you say that because yes. And I always think as I'm pulling out of the driveway, I'm going to remember it. Yeah, yeah. And I don't.

He goes, yeah, he goes, you're just crazy. I'm very, I like things very well. Organes. Have you always been like that? I have been. And my mom was like that until, and I get it now. She just had an epiphany. Until fourth grade, or fifth grade, fourth grade, she changed a little. Our house, I should point this out, like you just said about family. Uh-huh. Our house was still very clean, but not up to my standard. Like dog nose marks on the windows. Can't wait till I run my own household. Yeah, I don't know. At third grade. And let me tell you something, I do love it. Having like, but a dog nose marks on the windows, you know, it would stress me out coming home. Really? Yeah.

I hated it. And I would try to, I would clean it as soon as I got home and it was really stressful. Yeah. You know, and I would just, yeah, I was very organized. Is that just in you, you think? Do you think it's a reaction to anything? I think that one time I was sitting next to a woman on a plane and she knew a lot about that. We're just having a great conversation.

She goes, you know, look, there's 30 reasons it could be. But from what you're telling me, because we started talking and she goes, You probably have chaos in your head and you need calm around you. Yeah, yeah. So, but yeah, I'm still like that. And I like it, you know. I'm not in a relationship right now. So when I come home, I'm like, I can't believe that my house is exactly the way I left.

Yeah, yeah. I was in one relationship where I would get home and he was like, not dirty himself, but like he could be sloppy when I got home. The next relationship, he was more clean than me. And you know what? Before I started. Because, you know, I thought about it one day to go, oh, just please, I washed the dish good enough. What do you?

I went, no. Up it. Let him. Because then what I got to come home to when I was on the road was pure bliss. Yeah. Walking into a house that someone cared that you were coming home. Oh, I would, real quick, with my with my ex-ex, I would not get home on a Sunday because he'd be home. And I loved him.

Yeah. But I would not get, because then I couldn't just get in and not say hello and just clean or have the housekeeper there. So if I was down off on a Sunday, I would just stay in that town for Sunday. Until Monday. And then he'd be at work. Oh, wow. And then when he got home from work, I was, you know, I was good to go.

You worked through it. Yeah, I was all organized. And I could be, but anyway, I digress. And I have affection for my, the person I'm referencing, he wouldn't care. Sure. And he's chaos. Just everything's, and to not have that, you don't realize, oh, it doesn't have to be chaotic. It doesn't have to be, you know, and you're like, wow, this is really good this way.

I like this. Yeah. Can't you tell my loves it grows? I mean, was yours a happy house that you just have one brother, right? I have three brothers. Oh, three brothers. Growing up, was it a, yeah. You know, here we go.

It's so funny we said about like, well, my mom just passed away so she won't watch it. Right. But it was, you know, whenever I remember I said, you know, why do you share stuff? I always go back in my head, not that I need a reason, but Mr. Rogers said if it's mentionable, it's manageable. Yeah. So I go, well, and it feels good sometimes to talk about it. Other people come up to you after a show.

Sometimes they'll be like, oh, my. The dog nose mark thing. Somebody came up to me after show, and I was like, they go, oh, yeah, those things. And they were pointing out things. So we had, I was loved. Everybody was loved. I have good parents. But my mom had a lot of dogs.

Uh-huh. And it was a lot of stress. It was always chaotic. Always chaotic. So that was a part of growing up was just having so many dogs around all the time. Did the dogs coincide with the laissez-faire shift in her attitude about cleanliness? Did she reach a point where she got, went dog crazy? She went, oh, she definitely went dog crazy.

And I don't know what it was, why it happened, but we'd have litters of puppies and then we'd have, and also, there were good things about dogs. When I see seven puppies in a video, like an Instagram video, licking a little kid and he's all happy, I go, I experienced that. Her puppies being bored. But mostly, it was just a lot of stress. Yeah. It was a lot of stress. And you don't have dogs today. I would have a dog.

I don't, but I have a cat that just came into my life about a year ago. Which I love. Yeah, yeah. He's an outdoor cat, even though since I neutered him, he's in the house about probably 90% of the time. But he does go out and he stays in the yard now. But he doesn't, so I don't need a litter box. Yeah. Otherwise, I think I might have found him a good home.

But he just showed up. And I love him. Yeah, yeah. He showed up to my house. Oh, wow. He just showed up. He came in and laid next to me on the sofa. And I'm like, what?

Because there was a cat that hung out in the front yard all the time for a year. Yeah, yeah. And I thought it was that cat for a second. I go, you've never come in the house. Right. And then I go, where's your collar? And then I go, this isn't that cat. Yeah.

And then I knew its name, but it was now I'm forgetting. But, and then he's great. And you know, talk about coming home, the people that rent from me when I'm going, they watch him. And he really likes them, so it's good. Yeah, yeah. But when I come home, he's allowed in the house. It's so funny.

And whenever I get home, I look at him, I go, because everything's exactly where I left it. Of course, it's a cat. I get it. Yeah. I always come home, I go, Murphy, you keep everything so nice for me. Like, look at you. Everything's perfect, you know? Yeah, yeah.

But, yeah, so, but yeah, so growing up a little chaotic, and I like it very calm. You know, I like things calm. But, but, but, yeah, overwhelmingly at Happy House. Yeah. Were you a funny kid? Like, were you the class clown? Yeah, yeah. And your brothers, too, or were you the funny one?

Everybody. Everybody was funny. That's great. Everybody was funny. I would, you know, definitely try to stay up past, you know, my bedtime. Uh-huh. Doing bits, imitated. my, I did this, it was such a technique does not have to go to bed.

Wasn't it great? Keep grandma laughing. You're going to get to stay up. Yeah. And it was fun. Now when I'm around little kids, I realize, oh, you, like, my friends have a, she's probably eight. Uh-huh.

And she's, she gets bits. And anybody with kids knows that. You said you have kids? I do. I have a 25-year-old son, a 20-year-old daughter, and now a six-year-old in my second marriage. So the six-year-old gets bits, right? Oh, absolutely. And it's fun.

And my older daughter did bits pre-verbal. She was doing bits. She would do like funny faces and like weird takes because she knew it would be to laugh. It's really amazing. Yeah. And I forget, Todd, well, you were that age and you love stand-up comedy. But yeah, the bits with little kids, it's fun to do. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, no. There's there are kids, I mean, well, kids generally speaking are who they are when they come out of the oven. You know, they're the, there is, with both my older kids, I see, oh, yeah, this is, they've been the same person. You know, like, my older son is very conscientious, very caring, but also, like, kind of worries too much. And my daughter's, uh, the opposite sort of, I don't know if it's in reaction to him, but, um, they're both pretty much the same, you know. You know, it's funny you, I'd like to think that I'm, like, pretty, you know, like, when were you like this? And just like three days ago, I was talking with my friend. We were talking about we used to go to Denny's.

Yeah. And I remember my one friend. I'm still friends with them. And he's talking about being who you are even then. And this is, I was like 17. And he would go, come on, guys. And what are you being rude to the waitress for it? Somebody's mom.

That's pretty mature for that age. Yeah. And I remember thinking, like, oh, yeah, I like him. Like, that's what I was thinking. Yeah, yeah. I was embarrassed to say, like, stop, stop this thing you're doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you sort of, yeah, you're definitely who you are.

at a young... Yeah, I always identified with the person that's being... Like, if somebody's doing it, like friends, especially like early Chicago improv days, friends that would take bits out into the world and like, you know, fuck with the clerk, like doing a bit or doing a character.

And I was just like, oh, it's, you know, prank calling. Like, I just was like, I just identify with the person on the other line. That's so fun. Yeah. Look, you know, I've learned over the years, whenever you say something,

you have to be really clean with what you're saying, not that this is a big deal. But I agree with you. There's exceptions where someone go, oh, maybe Todd wouldn't like that. Like somebody on Instagram or TikTok or before that doing videos. But anybody bothering other people?

Yeah. And there's some shows that are a lot of my, even my friends like, I go, I don't like putting it on other people. You can interact with other people, obviously, and it can be great. Yes. Well, I mean, Conan's a good example of that.

During the pandemic going into those other cities, other countries that humanizing those people. and being him, but not at their expense. Not at their expense. But whenever it's at the other person's expense, I go, I'm like, oh, it makes me, I'm like, oh, don't do, I don't want my comedy to make someone uncomfortable. I'm the exact same way.

I always feel like if the bit is, I always feel like there's a lot of this stuff where the source of the comedy is, that guy who is just living his life walking down the street doesn't know that, you know, that this guy. And it's like, well, why the fuck should he? You know, like you, you created this elaborate scheme to trick this guy. It's like, I'm like, that poor fucking guy is just trying to get through his day. I'm so with you on that.

Yeah. And I see it a lot. And, yeah, it's like you do see it a lot. And again, like, you see it everywhere, but you do see it on Instagram and TikTok a lot. Somebody's whole thing is to, you know, make somebody else, you know, ask questions. They're like, hey, if it's funny, shoot a sketch. Yeah. And if it's not, then you're acknowledging it's only funny because it has to do it.

They're not a part of it. Right. Exactly. You know? Exactly. When did you, uh, did you start? Well, first, did you go to college? I don't have that.

I did. I didn't even, I had, I had, you know, they didn't even know what it was back then, but, you know, they started it in high school, I had very bad dyslexia. Oh, okay. And attention deficit, probably. You know, I always say, like, I know there's a lot of people that think like, oh, everybody just wants to have something now. Yeah, yeah.

I don't necessarily feel that way. a slice probably. But for me, it was the opposite. Like for a lot of people, I wasn't sitting in school. Why the fuck would you want to have dyslexic, you know, or attention deficit? Or make your life miserable in school, yeah. But I, so I didn't do very well in school. Yeah. And I didn't, graduate from high school. I just stayed till the end, because at that point I had friends. Yeah. So I stayed in high school until the end, but I didn't graduate. And then in 11th grade or, yeah, in 11th grade, I started doing stand-up. Oh, you did?

And were your parents okay with the not graduating? You know what? They were. Yeah. I think my mom, one of the great things about my mom was that she knew that I wasn't, she knew there was something up. I mean, I was in a special school out of a special school. Yeah.

Back to a regular school and in a resource room within that school. Right. And even my teachers, like I remember the young age, they knew that I wasn't, for a lack of a better word, they knew that I was not stupid or they knew that there was, no, this, this, this, something's up here. So my parents, oh, my guidance counselor, Mr. Hildenbrand, I remember his name, he said to my mom, you know, usually kids that have whatever term he used, they tend to excel in alternative means, whether sports or so he was even like, they were thrilled because they didn't know what I would do, you know. Yeah, yeah.

And I remember one time I had this joke in my, they didn't know what I would do. And my mom, my neighbor told my mom, Todd could be a dog walker. I'm like, please, I'm going to be fired. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but back then, I'm like, you have me limited to a dog walker? Yeah. But, yeah, so they were thrilled and very supportive. I went down, you know, they didn't have comedy clubs everywhere like now.

Right. And this is in Philadelphia. This is in Philadelphia. And I found out my friend across the street, he found out there was a comedy club called The Comedy Works, not the same one as in Denver. But, and we went. And, oh, my God, Andy, I was. I fell in love.

I liked it on TV, but to see it, and a lot of the acts were great. And they weren't all famous yet, but to rattle off some that we would get to see, you know, on the weekend shows. Sure. We'd see like Richard Lewis, Stephen Wright, Wow.

Jay Leno, Jerry Seinfeld, Gary Shanling, Rose Am Barr, young Eddie Murphy, when he, the first year he got on SNL, and, you know, Gilbert Godfrey, and it was just amazing acts. And then every night, before they brought the headliner up, they would say, like, hey remember if you think you're funny Wednesdays are open mic night I went down oh wow and I found my people I knew right away with no foreshadowing I got I connected with these comedians yeah and I loved them

and was that as important as the audience oh good yes it was my it was my someone said it better than me a few days ago they go because I was trying to say they go it looks like you also found community I go yes yeah yeah your tribe that's why yeah right and I went out with them and I liked them and I could talk to them and I wasn't nervous around them yeah and to this day still You know, that's the thing sometimes when comedians that are socially that I find reprehensible. You mean politically or you mean just as human beings when you talk to them? No, it's the other way. A lot of, it's really never political.

It's social, which tends to be thought of as political. Yeah, yeah. Mostly social issues that are. Right. But the thing is, a lot of times I like them. Yeah. Offstage. Some of the, they've always been nice to me.

And so when I see them. It's always such a fucker. Such a mind. When you see them? Oh, that guy's nice. You know, like that. You know. Yeah, so, look, it doesn't pay me when I bump into somebody that I don't like their social

stances to be mean to them. So it makes me feel like I'm not phony because at least I'm not giving a big hug to someone. I'm not, I'm hugging the person that I've known for all these years that is always been kind to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, yeah. So I love being around stand-up comedians. New comedians, you know.

I had to start, you know, about three years ago, I noticed a lot of. lot of my friends, which is good. They're busy now. They're doing things. They can't hang out until two in the morning. They have other things going on. Yeah. So I go, I'm going to start hanging. I'm meeting new comedians. Because I don't have kids. I don't have. I can still live that life. Absolutely. And it's the best thing I ever did. Now I have a slew because you meet one, you meet another. You meet them. Now, when I want to hang out on a Thursday night, I have people I can call. Yeah. And there's a whole bunch of new comedians. And they're younger and just more alive. Yeah. And I'm more. And I still have all my same old friends too. And I mix them. But they're definitely good to add to the mix.

Yeah, yeah. Which has made life a lot more enjoyable. Yeah, definitely. I found that out too, like, when my ex-wife and I split and I became single again. And, well, I mean, COVID was not too far after that, but I did find like, and for me mostly, you know, social media was a whole new way to meet people. I mean, it just to be, and it's, you know, nothing tawdry, just like. Hey, funny people, because that's, I, for me, it's never been about an audience. It's never been about the laughs from strangers.

It's about the people making the people and I'm working with laugh. Like those are the laughs. I always said, you know, on Conan, my favorite laughs were the cameramen. You know, like when I could see the cameramen, you know, jiggling because they can't laugh out loud because they got to be quiet. I was like, all right. Because that guy's seen everything, you know. It's so fun. When I used to watch Rickles be on a show that had no audience and you heard two people

in the back laughing. Yeah, yeah. I thought, like, just, that's always, I'm always checking out who's in the room. Yeah. Well, when I had my own podcast, with the first, one of the people we had doing the mic, they never really laughed or did anything. And we always throw me. Then we got somebody else, not because the other person, because we like the other person.

You mean like the technical person. Yeah, yeah. And then the new person, Aristotle, was his name, great name, too. Yeah, yeah. He was always present and laughing. Yeah, that was, you know. Anyway, that's all. Yeah, when I started, for me, it was like, it was, because I grew up in a small town,

first thing was film school when I, because I started at University of Illinois, and then I went to film school. And at film school, I felt like, oh, okay. Now I, you know, I, because I wasn't unpopular or anything, but I always felt like, something's, I'm not connecting. I don't feel, you know, comfortable here. I just, you know, like wearing clothes that don't fit you're right. And then I started with the film people.

And then after that, when I got in with the Chicago improv people, that's when I was like, oh, yeah, absolutely. At the time, do you remember Blind Melon? Yes. All I can say. Yeah. The video for that was like a little girl in a bee costume, being an outcast through all. And then at the end, she finds all her bee people.

And at the time that was my, I'm like, I found my B people, you know. Yeah. Because the improv people were just, oh, I was just talking to, I was on Rachel Dratchez's podcast and we were together, you know, I mean, we were in the same circle at that time. And we just talked about how fun that was and how much laughter there was. And, you know, everybody broke and everybody struggling and not really having much of an idea. I mean, there were a couple people that were very career. minded, but I think most people were just kind of like, I don't know, just keep doing this and see what

happens. One of my favorite times of my whole career, and there's been a few, was when the stand-up scenes sort of merged when they called it the alternative scene. Yeah, yeah. I always say it was just alternative venues. Yes. And they merged. And they would have shows that were like stand-up, and then some people that were, maybe they

were weird sketch stuff. Yeah, weird sketched that worked. And then, or somebody that did sketch, they can do a three-minute piece of stand-up or four-minute Or they were just doing a sketch, and then I met a whole new group of people that were sketch-based. Yeah, yeah. You know, like, of course, now I'll forget all their names. But, like, you know, Teneracious D. was part of that. Yeah, yeah. And Andy Dick was in there and so many more.

Probably, yeah. Yeah, I mean, Sarah Silverman, David Cross. I mean, that's that Bob Oden Kirk. Oh, right, all the stand-ups, I would remember. But I was trying to think of some of the sketch people. but yeah it was it was really fun and it was creative yeah and it was a good time yeah that was yeah that was a that was a really good time and i and i remember i remember at that point because i was in new york doing conan which i kind of went from like i i didn't i did improv which is his own little

thing and so there was and then to go to new york city like that was very intimidating to me and i remember early on when we were casting bits. It was the first time I ever made decisions in casting. And I thought, oh, it's New York City. It's going to be. And I was shocked to find out everybody sucked. Nobody was fucked. Like all these, like, you know, they'd send in these actors for comedy bits.

And they're like, oh, my God, these people, I know so much better. And so we would have, you know, when UCB came to New York, it was an explosion of talent for us because it's like, oh, it's funny people. Like we got some funny people to put in bits now. Yeah. I'd go, because my ex-wife, too, she was, she was a writer and she would do, you know, kind of written pieces that she would read. We'd go to these downtown kind of like Luna Lounge kind of thing. And I was very intimidated by, even though I was on a fucking TV show, I still was like, oh, these are, you know, these are like artsy, smart comedy people.

And I just remember going to them and going, oh, they're trying to get laughs. Like this, there's no, they're not like, Coaten Molyere or anything. They're just trying to get laughs. I agree. And I thought there were some of my friends thought there was an aloofness there. And I go, maybe there is a slice of,

but mostly I think you'd be surprised who they like. Like people would think be surprised to be a comedian that was silly. And they would all love them in that scene. I think it was just a scene, like I always said, in that scene of Steve Martin was doing stand-up,

then they would have welcomed him. He might have had a little harder time at the clubs. Yeah. But it also was a, But there was also all types. I loved it, that whole thing. It really helped me find out who, what I wanted to do is stand up.

Those audiences were just so, at the M-Barr, Luna Lounge was where it all started. Yeah. And it's funny, I used to get nervous going there. It's funny when we get nervous. I know. And still, like, I go to New York. Okay, I snap out of it sometimes.

Yeah. Especially now. Go, stop. Stop doing this. Like now, a year ago. Yeah. I walk into the cellar somewhere I never go, and I'm nervous.

Yeah. And I'm with friends. And they're like, I go, uh, sometimes I'll snap out of it. And sometimes I can't snap out of it. Yeah. And I'll see one person I know and then I'll feel, but walking in somewhere all, you know, all nervous.

Yeah, yeah. And especially, I mean, as you get, I know doing improv shows now, even though there's a fair amount of people when I do improv shows who are doing improv shows who are in their mid-40, you know, it's not like, but there was a time where I, people, I would say yes to doing an improv show

because they kind of do a bait and switch. They'd say like, well, Brian Possein is going to be here. And I'd be like, oh, well, at least Brian's there. And I get there and Brian was not there. And it was like me and a bunch of people like literally 20 years younger than me. And that just feels, that's where you feel like, it feels like the way when I watched one episode of euphoria, I felt like a creep, like driving by in a van. Like this is, I should not be here watching these young people do young people things, you know. So I, it's going out and doing stuff now.

Although, like you say, I have, you know, I got younger friends in comedy, and it is really nice. It's really nice to have, and I think it's important. And, you know, it's the kind of thing. So much of what I decide to do with my future is based in reaction to my family, you know, like the older members of my family. And so much of it is like, don't shut down. don't crust over, don't be scared. Yeah. Stay open, stay in touch with young people, keep moving forward, keep learning stuff.

Believe me, I'm with you. And I feel like, you know, certain friends or acquaintances or they drop like flies just getting older because of their ability to, you know, stay not even comedically, just socially and what they're okay with now. And they always, sometimes they, for some reason, I'm always surprised when a friend, you know, maybe I don't see every day because they would know. But a friend, maybe, I haven't seen them in two years.

I'm going to go, and then they think I'm going to bond with them over their, whatever's going on, that they're okay, now you got to do this and now you got to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I still have to deal with it with kid gloves, even though they're close friends.

Yeah. They're not all close friends where I can go, no, what the fuck you? Yeah. I have to go, no, it doesn't, it doesn't bother me. I know, yeah. I mean, I, because sitting on the Conan couch, they were like,

I would see brilliantly, funny comedy people that I knew who would have this sort of, it was better, and to me, I would boil it down to like, it was better when white men were unassailable. Like when old white men could say and do whatever they wanted, and people laughed. They didn't hold them to it, you know, ask for receipts, you know. That's the one that gets me the most because, you know, in opinions, there are facts. Like, you know, I think a lot of people think, well, it's all my opinion. I can just say whatever I want.

You know, you say something like, back then you could make these jokes about different groups of people, races, whatever. They didn't care. They cared. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, like, I say this. Talk about why do I say it. I know why I say this, because I don't think I'm in the majority. So it's good for people to hear it. Yeah. Maybe people that like comedy to think, oh, is that what comedy has to be? But that's why when there's outcry on whatever, Twitter or they're reacting to something, even if the masses are wrong. Hey, look, sometimes good comedy, you have to ignore the pulse of the audience or whatever, because otherwise we wouldn't have brilliant comedy. They're not always right. But they're not always wrong either.

No. And, you know, yeah, maybe not, even if 80% of the outcry, let's say 80%, let's go back to like Twitter, because that's when it was the word and it would all, you know, even if 80% of that's wrong. So what, 80% of every, 8%, whatever the number is, let's say 70% is wrong. So 70% of stand-up sucks. 70% of music sucks. So if only 20% of the comments coming your way makes sense and from intelligent people that didn't have a voice before. So when people go, oh, back then they didn't mind it.

Well, they mind it. They just didn't have it. Nobody listened. Nobody listened now. And gatekeepers kept them from public venues where they could share that they bothered them. It bothered them. And they don't all have to be right because we could shut down stand up if every comedian had to be right. But I think the voice is good.

I think it's good to have that that they can say, hey, we don't. don't like that. That's okay. And I think it's good. And sometimes I think they're right. Yeah. And it makes comedy better. And of course, you know, there's, there's, you can go too far. Of course. Any way, you know, like there's, you know, like my wife just show me today, uh, this morning. That's an autistic kid brought a, uh, multicolored Lego thing that he built that looked kind of gun like and got suspended for three days where it looked, you know, it looked. you know, it looked like a ray gun, but it was, but it's, it was an abstract of a gun anyway. It just happened to have a handle and a longer piece coming out. And it's like, well, that's silly.

Right. That's silly, you know. And that's always such a small sliver. Yes. Because that's what they are. Yeah. Of the, you know, it's always the small sliver of that type of thing. Yes, that happens.

Yeah. But, um, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I just think it's, like you said, it's there, a lot of it. is just laziness. A lot of it is uncreative people, which I've said, I had Ron Funchess in here the other day, and I just was saying to him, I don't know why you go to the trouble to struggle the way that you have to do in order to get noticed in this business, get a point to where

people want to see you, people come to see you, and be like everybody else. Like, I don't know why you wouldn't want to ask yourself, who am I? What do I have to say? And so much of this, you know, it used to be better. Just to me sounds like, you know. And people have been doing that. You know, they almost do it with no shame. This is what you're talking about right now is my obsession on trying to get better at the way I talk and cleaner at the way I talk. But, you know, back, oh, it used to be better. People have been saying that for years. Yeah. They don't even go into it with any shame. You know, I listen, if somebody goes, listen. Well, I'm a about to do has been done year after year after year when I was younger they said it I remember

Steve Allen saying there's no good comedy anymore I'm aware of it yeah yeah yeah I'm about to do it but just give me a listen they don't do that they just start doing it yeah yeah yeah back then and back then I'm like shut the fuck up yeah you know and you know what I realized you know a lot of times you can use the word oh that sexist or that racist people go oh they overuse that word I think the average person would go listen to comedy people I liked Yeah. And listen to it and go, oh, my God, there was so much sexism. Yeah.

You know, I don't even like to use that word because it falls on deaf ears, but there was so much just whatever you want to call it towards. Yeah, yeah. And so I, the one mistake I don't make, and I think it makes my comedy better is don't be stupid to think that you couldn't be doing it now. I'm never going to be egregious with it. Yeah. But I look back on jokes I did. Sometimes it wasn't even sexist or racist or homophiles. It was just too mean.

Yeah. For me, not an outside. You know, sometimes I'll take a joke out of my act and even with a friend, I'll go, yeah, I don't like that joke anymore. They go, why? Because the people will, the people. I go, you know, no, I have an internal decency. Yeah, yeah. It's not.

And that's why I think I'm not mad because a lot of times, if you see a comedian, the angrier they get, it means all the past verbiage. They've taken out of their act. Just a little detective work I've sort of used because they had to, not because they wanted to, not because they wanted to, not because they went. Oh, I can do better than that now. I wasn't a horrible comedian then, but I can be better now. Yeah. They're doing it because they have to, because eventually they can't use a word or something. Right, right.

And they're angry. They didn't graciously go, oh, no, I'm not mad. I had to drop that word. So I'm not angry. And I'm also going to. Somebody's taken away all their shortcuts, basically. Right, right. And they go, oh, you have to, you know, the big thing, you know, I always have

a comment and I imagine what they would say is like, they go, well, you have to push boundaries. And I think maybe in my head they think that I'm going to go, no, you shouldn't push boundaries. You have to fucking push boundaries. to fucking push boundaries. You think that's what I'm, uh, think what you do is bad for? No, you're pushing, push new boundaries. You're pushing fucking boundaries from 40 years ago. Literally 40 years ago. Try 200. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What boundaries? I push boundaries. So that's the thing I say, don't. And also the other thing is, I always want to go, you know, when they go, you're sensitive. And by the way, I am sensitive. But I know when I'm not. And I know when I'm angry at something

because, but the sensitive thing, I want to go, it makes me, I don't even want to scream now, but I literally will go, you, I'm not offended at what you. I'm not offended at what you. did. I'm telling you it sucks. So like if I go, I don't want Italian food, it's not because I defend, I do like Italian food, but whatever you get. I don't like Italian food. Oh, did it offend? You know, I don't like it. I don't like what you do. I'm correcting you. I'm criticizing you. I'm criticizing your shit comedy. That's what I'm doing. You didn't offend me. Okay? So you're offended. It's just not funny. That's why they're offended. That's why they think you're offended. Yeah. Because when they're told, oh, you shouldn't do this. But you know, the good thing about comedy,

And I always say it. So everything's in one neat compartment. I think comedians at the end of the day should do whatever they want. That's the beauty of doing stand-up. Even if I don't like what you do, you get to do it. Yeah. But I get the comment on it. Yeah, yeah.

I get the comment. That's all. Well, that's the, I think that's the key of like white men didn't use to get. Well, yeah, they just got to say what they want. And no one got to say, hey, excuse me. Right. That's short-sighted, insulting. And, you know.

They didn't have a voice. Yeah. They didn't have a platform. Yeah. you think of cancel culture, and again, I say this, I'm a stand-up comedian, you could, I don't think this, I'm saying hypothetically, are comedians cancel culture? Yeah, yeah. Because we complain about this. We say the religion isn't right. We say, no, it's just, we have a, we feel this way. So, you know, it's all good. I think it's better. I think comedy gets better,

not worse. I think all the arts get better. You know, if you look at acting, doesn't mean that you don't think there wasn't brilliant movies and brilliant acting. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But if you look at acting, it got better. Yes. Acting's better. All the arts get better. Music, it's not meaning that music wasn't brilliant.

Yeah. And you know what? I think, I think, forget what basketball players said it, but I loved it. And I don't know anything about sports, but they go, you know, who's the best player of all times? He goes, well, he's not on the court yet. Yeah, yeah. You know, it's something to that.

Yeah. But, yeah. So, but, yeah, I think comedy is, you know, I like it. Like the more diverse shows or more diverse, you know, and I think that's a good thing. I don't think it's a favor to diversity. Like, you know, I don't think it's a favor when you have a diverse show to the diversity. It's a favor to comedy. It makes comedy better.

It's not a handout. Could not agree more. Go look at any club that has great audiences and look on the wall. And you'll be like, oh, yeah, no wonder. Because they're all types of people all over the gamut, you know. And they also, too, like that's, I mean, that was one of the best things about early Twitter was oh, how many funny women, you know, how many funny women there were. And there weren't that many women.

And one of the, you know, in the early days of the Conan show, we would do Q&As at the Academy of Television or whatever, you know, in a museum of broadcasting in New York. It was always how come there aren't more women writers in comedy. How come they're all? And I don't really hear that so much anymore because there's a lot of women writers in comedy. There's a lot of women in stand-up. And I do think that Twitter had a huge part in that because there were no gatekeepers. There were no gate. So somebody could just be funny on there and get attention for being funny and just grow naturally and organically because they were funny.

Yeah, I agree. And that's always been to me. It's like, and I would say generally speaking, and I've said it before, like, I usually like women comedians better than male comedians. simply for the reason, they're more interesting. I haven't heard it all. I haven't heard, you know, 70 years of, I mean, I'm not 70, but, you know, but I haven't heard a million years of female comedy. I have, like, male comedy is pretty well covered.

We've got a good run, you know. Neither of us are saying they're brilliant male comedians. Of course not. But whenever you have a perspective. And it's just personal, too. It's just more interesting to me, you know. I saw a Max, oh, Higgins, I think. And Max transitioned from female to male.

Yeah. And I saw him doing some stand-up. Yeah. So, you know, when do you hear that perspective? Sure, sure. But funny perspective. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, this is so great that you see.

I'm glad I'm a part of it. That's the thing about I'm not mad. I don't have to go. I'm so glad that I'm a part of what's going on right now. Yeah, yeah. And I'm happy to be a part of it. makes my life better. Can we talk about you coming out?

Is that okay? What? That's a secret. Because you came out pretty late. I did. I mean, I remember people telling me, you know, that, you know, Todd came out, you know. Can you talk about, like, how was that, how was it being in stand-up comedy and being closeted? I mean, was it?

There was a lot of. You know, a lot of it you're numb to, but obviously there was a lot of, you know, I said it before it, and I want to go back a second because it'll help me go forward. You know, not using words like homophobic or sexist. You'll understand what I mean like if you say sexist, it falls in someone's ears. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because there's 10 things within that. Sure. One day somebody was talking about somebody and they go, instead of sexist, which I thought worked better, they go, well, he certainly has a dated perception of the relationship between men and women.

Yeah, yeah. That's sexist. But still, the other person, even if they disagree, could come back. You say sex, blah. So with that said, there was a lot of hate directed towards gay people. Absolutely. And women, but I didn't know that plight till later in life. I'm like, oh, my God, women, there are no, you know, I'm embarrassed that I should

have gone to every stand-up show and went, where to fucking women? Where to fucking women? I didn't. Because I wasn't aware of their plight. Now I get it. But there was a lot, I mean, you know, there was a lot of homophobia. And being in the closet, I didn't have to deal with it outwardly. But, you know, I would just say, you know, I would switch it to girl.

I would say, instead of guy, I would say girl. Yeah, yeah. But it was, I became a little numb to it and I was okay, became comfortable in the lie. I thought I'd never come out. Really? I thought I'd never come out. Matter of fact, if I met somebody and they said, you know, like when I was like 22, and I didn't meet that many people.

Yeah. They said, oh, my parents know and they're cool with it. I'd be like, I feel horrible saying this right now. Yeah. I was done with them. Wow. Oh, no, no, no, no. You got to be like me where nobody knows.

Wow. Which is crazy. Yeah, yeah. You know? And then, so then, you know, life goes on. I was in a relationship and, I mean, the absurdity of like, you know, of trying. A relationship with a woman? With a guy.

Oh, with a guy. Yeah. Oh, and you're trying to keep that quiet. Yeah. Yeah. We had a duplex and this girl rented it above us. Yeah. And her name was Andrea and she was really pretty.

And we had friends, we had people coming in from out of town. We were like, Andrew, come downstairs and hang out. Because like we'd always go, oh, yeah, the three of us bought the house, three of us, three of us. You know, and she'd come down and hang out because if they walked in, there was a girl there. It was absurd. One time there was some gas leak and the firemen had to come in our house to get into the backyard. They asked if it was okay. and I'm telling you this gives you the little details, you know.

It's just like homophobic, I said. They don't know what it means. There's 20 things that embody it. So does being in the closet. Being in the closet could mean, no, that's you. For us, it was the absurdity. Talk about a detail of when they had to come through the house. He ran into the bedroom and messed up the bed, the other bed where we didn't sleep.

Because, and then I look back, I go, what? What were we thinking? But that's this world that I lived in. And then, you know, I had a heart attack behind at Largo. one night on stage. Well, if you're going to have one, have one there. That's the place to have it. A nice place.

Really nice. Like the dynasty, I would have. Right, right, very close. The shortest, I said, and I was aware of it while I was having a heart attack, you know, and then I know I'm having it because they hooked me up and then we drive and I hear the lights like, whoop, whoop, boop, and then we're there. I'm like, oh, come on. Drive around the flock.

Yeah, come on, make a scene. Let's have a parade. Yeah, I don't get to take an ambulance that often. But as they were bringing me. me into the car in the stretcher. I was very aware. And I go tell Sarah Silverman because she knew. She knew. I came out to her. And I go, call my girlfriend, which she knew was Chris. And I'm like, oh my God, I can't. I can't do this. And then he came into the hospital. I've told this, you know, a few times. But he came into the hospital. And it was one of those moments where he had

a flower. He probably picked it off a, you know, a tree, a shrub outside. Right. And he shoved it under my pillow and I'm like, it was, it was just broke my heart. Yeah, yeah. This is not a good life. And then I thought, I'm coming out right away. This is it. I'm done. And then it took two more years.

Oh, wow. It took two more years. But I knew that it was, I knew I needed to do it. And I knew, even though I heard everybody was saying it was, you know, better for them when they came out, I thought it won't be for me. I was nervous. I didn't want it to be my identity. Yeah.

And then my manager goes, good, good thing, he said. He goes, Todd, it's not. not the most interesting thing about you or won't be your identity. Yeah. And that sort of calmed me a little bit. And then a friend of mine said, maybe you have to come out before you're ready. And I got what he meant. Like, you never got to be 100% of it is what he was saying.

Right. And also, you dragged your feet a long time. I was 47, I think. Yeah. 47. And I just thought this was going to be it. And I remember even thinking after I went to Mark Marins because I wanted to do it on a large platform because I thought I had something to say. and I wanted to get it all over at once.

Did he know that going in? Oh, yeah, because I told him on the phone. Okay. I didn't even know if it would be a topic he'd want to deal with. Yeah, yeah. And I went there, and he was very good. I was very nervous. I mean, I was really nervous, and I went with a friend of mine.

And then when I was leaving, he said, if you don't want me to drop this, you tell me, you're not locked into this, because if you feel I go, Mark, please don't even give me the decision to do that. The option. And then when I got in the car, I'm telling you, Andy, I got in the car and I just sort of like broke down. Yeah.

Because it was over. I can imagine. And I was like just really like, my friend Brian was in the car who I know really well. And, you know, we're certainly comfortable with that type of like emotion. I was even like a little bit, you know, a little bit shy about it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Like it just came over me. Yeah. And I'm like, it's over. And that was like two minutes. Literally two minutes. Not shoving it back in. Just two minutes.

That's all it needed. And then I drove home and we were doing bits and then it was so much better. Yeah. So much better. Was it instantly better? Did it still take a little bit of adjustment? It took a little bit of adjustment. The word gay was still hard for me to say because it had been used as a negative.

Sure, of course. So long. I mean, starting in grade school with something that doesn't even have to do with, you know, homosexuality. Like, that's gay. I know. It was anything, you know, the thing about that is I thought, I, explained it so clean that word that every comedian would stop it. Yeah. I really did. I thought I'd be the first person to explain it clean. And one of the things I said was, look, if you want to use it,

and I say this every time, because I don't want to be, you know, you could do whatever you want. Yeah. And I'm a lot of comment on it. I don't want a court order for you to stop what you're doing. Yeah. I'm just commenting on it. If you want to use that word, go use that word, if that's the best you could do. But stop saying it took on a new meaning. It didn't. It doesn't mean pretty. It doesn't mean high functioning. It doesn't mean affectionate. Lighthearted. It means dumb, stupid. So it didn't take on a new meaning.

It connects right to that. Dumb and stupid. What are gay people? Weird, dumb, stupid, uncomfortable, icky. So it doesn't have a new meaning at all. So I thought maybe that would. And a few comedians were really cool. They went, you brought me into the 21st century with that.

Yeah. And, you know, I just noticed, you know, if you're not mad at change, you can just come to some conclusions that I've been on this planet long enough to watch words get put on the dissect. They don't get prettier. There's no word we stopped using. The years later we go, that one was a weird one. That was mistake. Yeah, yeah.

The words that, you know, and they get uglier and uglier. And so I, now that I'm, now that I, that's why I don't fight anything because I'm like, well, the odds are, we learn about it. But the words don't get prettier. And I've been around for the N word. I've been around the argument I've heard it, that when someone would use the N word, and then there was N. I'm saying this.

They're harsh words, but I think this is important. There was N. Rich. Mm-hmm. And Enrich and fix it. Yes. And rig it. Yeah, yeah.

And I remember my mom arguing with my brother because he heard the phrase somewhere else. And he goes, it doesn't mean that. It doesn't mean that. Same thing as it did mean that. Yeah. It did mean that.

Chewing someone down. Jewing somebody down. Like, and I didn't even grow up. up around Jews and that's what, you know, it would use it. Yeah. And I'm Jewish. Yeah. Juing someone down. But now you hear it, you're like, well, it doesn't mean that. They would, they're just

so, it does. It does mean that. It really does. Use it. I'm saying use it, but have the balls to go, yeah, I know it means that. And I don't give a shit. Yeah, yeah. Don't try to convince yourself because you think, if that, if I'm, hey, look, and you know what, I'll go out on a limb here. And again, I'll put it very close to, I'm not

insulted when I hear someone use the word retarded. Not insulted. I'm criticizing you. If you were my friend and you wrote a song and it said, I'll climb any mountain for you. I would go, you should try to find a lyric that maybe hasn't been said as much. Or any lyric that's been over you. And if some other person, did I offend you?

No, I'm criticizing you. I'm not offended. What do you need me to do to show that I'm just criticizing you? Even if I'm wrong, I'm not offended. I'm not some squishy thing. I just, I know that you're hurting people. Yeah. And I know that comedy, the thing is, that's why sometimes, you know,

even with cousins and stuff, you know, this conversation gets brought up. And then when they see my act, they go, we thought you'd be real vanilla. Because they're hearing that thinking that I, because I don't want to use those. No, no, no. I love, crass comedy is like,

poof, it's great. It's one of the best, but it's who you're being crashed towards. Absolutely. Absolutely. And the people, you know, like people over the years of ask, I've been asked a number of times,

like, what's the funniest thing you ever heard Conan say? And I'd be like, I cannot tell you. because it would fucking curl your hair. You know, it would be really dark and really awful. And the same goes for me. The funniest things I've ever said have been around comedy people, and they're probably the darkest, nastiest shit. And, but I will tell you, they didn't involve the N-word.

They didn't involve the R-word. They didn't involve probably racism. They just involved, you know. We were talking about the roast. Yeah. And like, you know, I'll make it really. clear. The roast format is an institution that is brilliant. But I love it. I would defend it. The art of the roasting is like, it's belongs.

It's a formula and there are geniuses that are using the formula and there are laymen. It's always been a safe haven for racism, sexism. But you see people do it and they're crass and they're vulgar. But like you just said, it doesn't have to be hack. And a lot of times they go, oh, no, you're not offending me. Well, what happens usually, I feel like going, you're not even offending me socially anymore. Now it's just hack. Artistic.

As a comedian, let alone the comedian that I want to, may hope the arts gets better and better. But now it's just hack. Yeah, it's professionalism. Right. It's like have some fucking standards. Yeah, go on. You can do better than that. Yeah.

So, you know, push from fucking boundaries. You're damn right. You better. But you better go push some new ones. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's not like, you know, Amos and Andy was brilliant. And that's why we had to do away.

It's like, no, Amos and Andy was fucked up. Yeah. And like, sure, maybe people laughed at it, but like, we're not going to do that again. You know, well, hopefully. I try to look very clear now because I see, you know, now when I do my act, think about it. You see the way some of the old stuff weathered. Yeah. So just think.

Like, be really careful with your, you know, with what you want to say and say what you want. But anyway, but coming out, you know, was, it made my life so much better. Made my act better. Yeah. What do you think was keeping you in the closet? Was it your parents? No. It was just some sort of internal thing.

I think it was, you know, my parents were very open-minded, but everything. Well, every, every, just people in general. Yeah. We had all types of friends growing up. But which, which it really says, you know, me, I can't, it wasn't even my parents. Imagine someone with their parents were, didn't want them to be gay. Yeah. I think I lived in the world.

you know, I was a, oh, here's something, one little thing that I think, you know, I was a straight guy, basically. You know, I got to be a straight guy. Grow up. I didn't really feel the, I could hide as a straight person. So no one knew that I was gay, so I would heard what people would say. Yeah. And forget about people that are overly, let's say, homophobic or like, that's what, forget about them. Because luckily, I didn't have a lot of friends like that. Yeah. And I'm not criticizing my friends. This was a long time ago. I think it was sort of natural what they did. But you know what they would do. after we would find out somebody else was gay. Nobody thought anybody was gay. So if you found out somebody else was gay, you knew nobody in this circle's gay.

No one went, well, that could be someone here. We could still talk about it, but we should talk about it with a tone of there could be somebody in this room. So what they would do is most of the time, they would go, hey, did you hear blah, blah, blah is gay? And they would all go, oh, yeah, yeah, my brother told me, I didn't get a shit. I love that guy, he's good.

Then they would go to have an hour conversation, imagining them having sex. So I thought, I felt naked. Yeah, yeah. Like, oh, my God, they're going to find out, I'm gay, that's all they're going to do is picture me having sex with men. Yeah, yeah. So it's like, oh, God, I can't, you know, I can't do that.

So, like, that was one of the things that may be of many that kept me in the closet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That I'm going to just be, like, dissected everywhere I go and I walk into a room. But I also, there's part of me that just, I mean, just playing junior psychologist is like, it's not tidy to be gay. You know what I mean? I mean, it's messy. Like, it's going to mess up your life.

Like there's going to be a wet sink in your life when you come out because there's all these questions and there's all these, you know, issues that now you have to address. And, you know, and it isn't, you know, that's Todd. We know who Todd is. Todd is this. It's all of a sudden it's like, holy shit, there's a huge part of you that nobody knew and you were going to have to slowly that works itself out. Arrange it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't all right. You didn't leave there and then life went on. But it got better. and better and better, and then people started knowing and you asked me questions. And, uh, but yeah, I'm glad I did it because, oh, my, I think if I would have, you know, gone through my whole life and never said I was gay, I think people would have said I was, I mean, I thought about this. They would have said, hopefully he was, Todd was a good comic, but it's a shame. He never got comfortable. So I'm so glad that I didn't take that to my dad.

Yeah, yeah. I used to want to meet a girl. We thought me, I met this other guy, like 23 years old, and I told him the stupid planet. If you want to hear something stupid, I go, I don't know if I'm kidding or something. shares or whatever. Maybe I'm adding this part now. I don't know. It's all right. Well, you can edit that part out. No, no, I mean adding the part about like thinking, did I have the, the, the, the observation to go, I know this is crazy. Probably didn't. I probably here. Here's what it was. I can meet a girl with cancer. You already know the

end of it. That was the, and this other new friend of mine goes, that's what I thought. We didn't sit down and go, where are we going to meet a girl with cancer? Right, right. And then, you know, but then the rest of my life, whatever happened, Todd never got married. He never got over, Rachel. They never got over her. Wow. Wow. It's sad. He never got over her. Or I would, one time, this is so, this is funny. And my friend was hooking up with a girl. And like a lot of those situations, there's another girl. And she's sort of like me. And she had, she was about 22, and she already had a baby. Yeah. She had a baby. She had a baby with someone she was just, not in a relationship. Right. So she didn't have a boyfriend. She just had a baby. And my friend

got out of the car with the other girl, and they went in the house. And we go, well, come in in a second. And I thought, oh, God, she's got a baby. So I don't have to have sex with her. Like, first of all, I'm sure she would still enjoy sex. I just need the baby. Once one of those things come out, nothing's going back in. You're done. You got the baby.

And then I put my, this is the closest I ever got to fool around. It's nothing. And I go, just fucking do it. And I put my hand on her knee. And then I took it off. And that was it. That's the only thing. Wow.

That was, because even that was like, you know, It's very uncomfortable to do anything romantic with someone you're not attracted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Picture it the other way around. Yeah. No, I mean, I'm incredibly open-minded. My dad is out. My dad's gay.

Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. What age did he come out? He came out, well, he came out when I was four, and it ended my parents' marriage. And, but then he came out to me and my brother when I was probably, I want to say, eight or nine, you know. Interesting. And I was okay with it. I mean, my mother was upset, and I guess he had been telling her, you know, he wanted to tell us and she was against it that we were too young and that we couldn't know.

And I mean, I don't, you know, now having had kids and when, like, whenever a kid asks me about, has asked me about like a sexual question, you know, it's one thing to say, you know, like, when my. The kids have been like, how are babies made? And, you know, you can brush them off. But at a certain point, you're like, look, the man, the daddy lays with the mom and he puts his penis inside her vagina and then a baby grows inside her, you know, they each give something and a baby grows. Like, it's like a kid can handle that. Right.

I mean, they've been handling it, you know, they know. My parents don't the same thing. You know, it's like the kids saw people having sex probably. You know, I mean, it's just like it's a net. natural thing and it's not anything to be like, oh, it's so terrible. But my dad sort of lumped it in with the birds and the bees talk and, you know, like, this is how babies are made and but there are some people that are attracted to people or the same sex and that's what I am.

I'm gay. So I was always, you know, I've always been very open-minded, but like, just back to your point about, but like I had to, and like not, you know, not squeamish, not, you know, And like with comedy friends, there would be gay chicken. You're familiar with that concept, you know. And I'd grab somebody's nuts. I'd be like, oh, you want to, you know, I mean, I've always been that person. Like, it's like, oh, if you want to do dark death humor, I'll fucking, you know, I'll make your teeth fall out.

And, you know, and I'd be like, oh, gay chicken or right. And just grab somebody because it was like, this is absurd. And, but I had to kiss Sasha Baron Cohen in Talladega Nights. And I was like, oh, that'll be okay. And it was supposed to be like a romantic, like he won a race and I'm his husband and we kiss. And I was leading up to it, I was like, eh, you know, I've kissed people on screen before. It's not, you know, it's kind of nothing, really. I don't find anything about it.

But unfortunately, we had to do it. It's supposed to be like on the grandstand after a Grand Prix race. And he gets the cup and there's champagne spraying. They set it up in the parking. lot of a grocery store in Charlotte, North Carolina. We'd been shooting all day in a sports bar that's like a NASCAR bar. And we're losing light. They're like, all right, we got to run outside and get the kiss thing.

So we're literally 12 feet from where people are driving out the, like families driving out the parking lot. And we had to do a few kisses. And it was really, really weird. It was way weirder than I thought it was. Yeah. Well, it makes sense. And that.

can have nothing to do with homophobia. Because I don't have against anything against straight people. I had to kiss a girl once. And I wish I was comfortable enough to say, but it just felt like dirty. You know what I mean? Nothing, you know, obviously same with both of us here. It was just such an intimate thing. That's why, you know, when people have a problem with, you know, people change their views.

But sometimes I wonder if they do because you have to realize, like, when you're an alcoholic and you stop being an alcoholic, you don't have to go, they don't make you, let's say you've been clean for a year. and then you go back and you apologize to your grandmother, you stole from. They're not doing that to be mean. They're doing that so you don't do it again. You understand the damage you left behind. Yes.

And I think some of these things forcing some of those people go, my God, I made my kid try to have sex with a girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And imagine it was the other way around, and a gay couple told their kid they disown him if he didn't have sex with men. And then he'd try to have sex with men. And you'd be like, oh, God. So you leave a lot of damage behind you.

Yeah, yeah. But is your dad still around? Yeah, he is. We're estranged and have been for years. Because he's gay. After all that, I was about to say things that have absolutely nothing to do with his gayness. That's the best thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But yeah. But yeah, it's been, because like my son is gay, my oldest kid is gay. And it for the years, especially, like parents not accepting their gay children to me just made me want to set a city block on fire. It just, it was one of the most upsetting, stupid things that I could ever. It's hard. Yeah. To this day, you know, that's one of the things that actually that made me some of the videos I would start seeing online of, you know, people telling their stories. and it would be like just breaks your, it just crushes awful.

It really does crush you. And you're talking about a little kid. You're talking about your baby, you know? And it's like, I don't know. I mean, there's, I can't think of it's, you go like, oh, it was a different time and all and that's what they knew. But I cannot. I don't think that I was like brought up in some sort of utopian open minded society. but I cannot think of a thing that my child could tell me that I would go like, yuck, I reject you.

But, you know, when I think about, because you try and you do try and go like, you look for analogs and you look for like, well, if, you know, I can expect a MAGA person, I can expect them to be more humanitarian and more liberal. And it's like, well, you know, imagine if it's on the, can they expect me to be more conservative about things? I mean, it's hard for me to put on that suit, you know, but, but it is like you try. I mean, I'm always, it's like, you know, you've been through therapy. Part of therapy is you got it, you've got a self-inventory that you're doing all the time.

And it's not exhausting. It's actually quite refreshing once you get used to it of like, am I doing the right thing here? Am I doing the right thing? And, and if you can, I mean, there are, I have some friends who are like over-theraputized. who are immobilized by, you know, Hamlet disease, like should I or shouldn't I? But I think generally speaking, it's like if you can look yourself, look at yourself and go, like, am I doing the right thing here? Am I being the best person I can be?

Am I helping humanity as well as I can? Am I doing good here? Yeah. You know, that's... And with that said, you know, you can make a lot of mistakes, but not leave carnage behind because of your views. Absolutely. You know, I will say, I said I look at some of my old work and stand up, and I like,

well, I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that. I'm the same way. But I'll be proud of it. There's nothing. Oh, great. There's nothing egregious. And, you know, when people always say it was a different time, I always like to say, yeah,

it was a different time for you. Yeah. Because other people knew. There was comedy going on back in the 80s that I'm sure, I think of the brilliant comedians, you know, when Andrew Dice Clay was sort of doing his thing. I'm sure Martin Mull knew it. I'm sure Richard Lewis knew it. You know what I mean?

Yeah. meetings that probably, right, exactly. There were guys that went, oh, this is not great. That's not the thing. That's not the thing. But there you go. Well, you've got live dates. They can be found at Toddglass.com.

Are you around all over the country now? Are you kind of... I'm going to Canada at the end of this month. A place called the Comedy Bar in Toronto. Toronto is great. And yeah, all my dates are on there. And Instagram and TikTok, I'm having a ball there. If you haven't seen Todd's stuff online, it's really, really funny.

stuff. It's a good way to, you know, kill some time. You know, this ticking clock that we're all living under. Might as well laugh a little bit. Well, Todd, thanks so much for coming in. You're welcome. Great catching up with you. Yeah, nice talk. Yeah, yeah. Nice talk. And I'll be back next week with more of the three questions. The three questions with Andy Richter is a team cocoa production. It is produced by Sean Doherty and engineered by Rich Garcia. Additional engineering support by Eduardo Perez and Joanna Samuel. Executive produced by Nick Leow, Adam Sacks, and Jeff Ross, talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista,

with assistance from Maddie Ogden, research by Alyssa Graal. Don't forget to rate and review and subscribe to the three questions with Andy Richter wherever you get your podcasts. And do you have a favorite question you always like to ask people? Let us know in the review section. Can't you tell my loves are growing?

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