The Three Questions with Andy Richter - Vic Michaelis

Episode Date: January 27, 2026

Comedian and actor Vic Michaelis joins Andy Richter to discuss wanting to be your dad’s best friend, why an acting teacher told them their type was “victim,” hosting the hilarious Dropout series "Very Important People," their role in the new Peacock spy show "Ponies," and much more. Do you want to talk to Andy and friends live on SiriusXM’s Conan O’Brien Radio? Tell us your favorite dinner party story (about anything!) or ask a question - leave a voicemail at 855-266-2604 or fill out our Google Form at BIT.LY/CALLANDYRICHTER. Listen to "The Andy Richter Call-In Show" every Wednesday at 1pm Pacific on SiriusXM's Conan O'Brien Channel. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey, everybody, welcome back to The Three Questions. I'm your host, Andy Richter, and today I am excited to be talking to Vic Michaelis. Vic is a comedian, actor, and writer. And you can see them in the new Peacock Spy Thriller Ponies and their hilarious dropout TV show, very important people. Here's my conversation with the absolutely delightful Vic Michaelis. Hi, Vic. Hi, Andy.

How are you? We've tried to do this for so long. You were on the call-in show. Yes, which is for the record, and I'm sorry if this is maybe me, you know, blowing up other podcast spot, but it's my favorite show I've ever done. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. I feel like a lot of us's dream is to be on the radio. Oh, that was, they came to me.

You know, I did this podcast and I've been doing this podcast since 2019. And then Sirius XM bought Conan's company. And, you know, largely to get this, the jewel in the crown of the team. Coco Empire this show. I saw the deadline article. Yeah, of course, of course. But at one of my contract re-ups, they were like, your show's doing well, but not well enough.

So we need you to do something else every week. So the Colin shows the equivalent of them going, you have to shovel the driveway. Yes, exactly, exactly. Yeah, yeah. You got to work in the gift shop. You got to do a shift in the gift shop every week. You should have a gift shop in this building.

Oh, my. Well, there's, you know, it's free merch. You can take whatever you want. Do you mean that? Yeah, yeah. I want the coffee machine. Absolutely. I want the coffee machine.

You can't have the coffee. You just said I could get free merged. No, you could take whatever I'm merged. That's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, a plan. A feature. If you sign it, would it be merge? I guess. Would you really want to carry that?

The coffee machine? Hands down. That's why I brought her. And a dolly. I always bring a dolly, a hand truck to every, every podcast. You never know. But yes, so they asked me, like, would you, would you, like, do some other thing? I said, oh, oh, my God.

Do more for the same pay. Oh, all right. And then went around different things. And somebody said, well, you know, we want to do more radio programming. How about a call-in show? And I was like, oh, fuck yeah. Because it is. It's like I get to play radio every week. Has anything crazy happened live where you're like, oh, no. No, not really. Not really. I mean, it's just, you know, it's, and there has been an occasional sort of like people calling in, which I don't know why they're calling me. But like for like, serious advice kind of things. Oh, no. A couple of slightly poignant moments. Medical advice. That had the one was, it was one that I remember that was fatherhood. I was going to say, guy.

Yeah. Girlfriend was expecting. Yeah. Like three months and he was like, Andy, you're like the only person I have told so far. It was, he really. Yeah, yeah. And I can't remember.

The other person was a dad. It might have been Tim Heidecker. I don't remember exactly. Wait. So this person was expecting a baby, his girlfriend or he was also, he was also, he was the father. He's the fatherhood. So fatherhood has sort of found him. Yes. It was like, yeah, he was like, I'm, fatherhood is imminent and I'm, you know, and it's basically a big gulp. Sure. Oh, what do I do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I said, fuck it, man. You just fucking accelerated to the floor, same as before. Yeah. A kid's like,

you just leave that kid in the dust. Have a sports team that you love. That way they always have something to get you for holidays. Just get, yeah, get the little kid of Jersey from your favorite. sports team and then you'll remember its name if it's on the back. Fatherhood can get tricky though because my dad ended up accidentally kind of doing it on his own. I know. And I want to ask about that if I may. Please. Talk about my dad. Twist my arm. Yeah, yeah. He's my best friend. I'm not his. That was, really? Nope. Does he say that? His best friend is Tom Simon and that's fair. You got to have something to work for and that's sort of a gift that was given. God dumb fucking Tom Simon. And I love him. I love the guy. So it's, you know, it's hard. He's great.

Cockblocking. No, but I mean, how did that how at what age did your dad, kind of become so parent. Kind of always, you know, my mom certainly, like, did the best with the hand she was dealt, but was, like, pretty ill. And so it, uh, mentally. Yes. And so it just was one of those things where it just ended up me and my brother and sister and my dad for a long time. And it, listen, you never seek out that situation.

It's not like I'm wishing that situation upon people. And I kind of rocked. Really? It was pretty great. Well, it depends on the person. Yeah. You know, and that's, and that's a whole thing about, like, you know, like, sure, having two parents is optimal. Of course.

But, you know, having three parents is probably maybe even more optimal than two. I think about that so much. Anything can work. And anything can be a nightmare. Yeah. Like, we spent a lot of time getting raised, like, with my aunt and my uncle, Mr. Simon as well. And I still call the Mr. and Mrs. Simon. I'm 32 years old.

Right. And I have to. Legally, I think. I think I signed something when I was eight. But it really is one of those things where it's like, I am, I feel so lucky to have so many people. And I think, talking about society, sorry, I think it's a big issue that we have right now where it's so nuclear, it's so small. And so then when something goes wrong, especially if you can't get the support in that tiny little group in the States, often like two or three additional people, you're just like, well, what do I do? We don't know how to build community and make friends.

Like, I feel like I have in my life four to five adults. that at any point I can go to with any problem. And having people ahead of you is so important. That's a luxury. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm rich.

Yeah. Because also, too, like, that's, I'm also at a loss a little bit because I, again, I hear, I hear you when you say, oh, to have a kind of a community and a support group and, like, an extended family to rely on. Yeah. Sounds optimal. Sounds great. Until you deal with the particulars of many extended families.

Of course. In which you're like, those people? No, thanks. But sometimes it is that thing where you got to dig in to also get the benefits of it. You know what I mean? I think about all of the eccentricities of my whole family. Like my dad, the way his anxiety manifests is I have the same conversation with him three times a day. He tracks all my Instagram followers and then calls me to give me updates on the numbers.

The numbers? Yeah. Andy, three times a day. It's the same number. The numbers. Oh dear. He really is a, he's a stats guy. Wow.

So, but I'm like, you know, I deal with that. And then I also, you know, I get to reap the benefits of that too. In what? Just. Sometimes he'll take me to get my car washed when he's in town. And that's pretty nice. Aim high, Vic. Aim high.

Two car washes. Wow. Oh, do the wax ceiling is what you're talking about. Well, but did, are you the youngest? Fascinating. Why do you think that? I'm saying that when you say like, Okay, you didn't know your mom.

She wasn't really there. She did the best with the hand she was dealt. I knew my mom for sure. Like, she was around. But yes, very ill. You know, I think mental health issues really can manifest themselves in so many different ways. Yeah, yeah. For her specifically, it was probably, I mean, like, this is all, there's no way to actually know she's not around anymore.

But it was, you know, I think was probably some postpartum depression that kind of went undiagnosed, which can, you know, like is so hard. And it's something that is getting talked about more now, but not. Not nearly at the same capacity. And there's just like not a lot of research. And especially once women specifically go through menopause, I think that there's a lot of changes that just like aren't that well researched or talked about. And so a lot of people get diagnosed with like, what's it called, bipolar disorder. And it could be.

But, you know, sometimes it's just people going like, we're throwing away the key. We're not really doing any more digging into stuff like that. So I think that is a little bit what happened to my mom. I mean, that's obviously, you know, a thing that people really struggle with. But I do think a lot of menopausal women get diagnosed. with bipolar disorder without any further looking into it, especially sort of in like the early 2000s sort of when this happened. So yeah, you know, it would have been interesting if it was a different time, but it wasn't. Yeah. Yeah, my Instagram, part of my Instagram algorithm

for some reason. I think it's because of people I follow is like I get like three. My paramedopause was ignored kind of, you know, posts every day. And so I like, I feel like I've been very well educated recently. That's kind of lovely that that's a lot of your Instagram. Absolutely. Well, you know, no, and I don't, you know, well, listen, go ladies. That's what I say. You're constantly saying that.

You're shouting out the window. You're getting the finger on the right of the center. Go, go, go. No, I mean, like people used to make fun of me on Twitter because I would refer to myself as a feminist, which my point was always like, well, what the fuck else do you call it? That's so funny. acknowledge the fact that like women have gotten and been getting the shit end of the stick for there was a brief two window time period where people were like we're all feminist and then and now

I feel like now we're back into being like absolutely it was like people and it was like young people going like oh please and it's like what do you mean by like what do you mean when you say like like high school in college it was very uncool yeah and then the word it was like the first time I heard the word egalitarian by a guy that ran like the karaoke bar and kept his cat's skulls in his freezer. That's true. Okay. And he was like, you don't have to keep him in the freezer. You don't.

Yeah, yeah. At that point, he wanted to make sure all the meat was preserved. Right. You know, you can soak them in something and then use the skulls as a like a string tie, a bowelot tie. I love that. And that's a big, that's a statement piece. There really is. Are you committed to wearing that next time you're on Dancing with the Stars?

Well, I don't have a cat. Well, so maybe you sort of have, you have a couple steps to take, it feels like. I have other, I have relatives. I guess I could do like a little sort of. Fullhead, Hamlet. Amulet of my dead aunt's ashes. That's kind of fine. Yeah, yeah.

Make it into some jewelry, some tasteful jewelry. Sure. I love that. Sure. A tiara. A tiara. Andy, you would look sensational with a tiara. Oh, I know.

Yeah. I know. Although I have a big head so it would be very cost prohibitive to have a tiara made that would actually Are they paying per inch? It's a lot of gold. A lot of gold. Yeah. And it's got to be gold.

Get a little hairpiece. You know what I mean? The ones that you just sort of push in. Like a clip? Sure, sure. A clip in tiara. Like a fall on the front. That's it.

Yeah, yeah. Get some bags. That would be lovely, actually. No, I, I, and that was, you know, that was another thing with, it was an interesting component of my run on dancing with the stars was that people like, and I, it came out of nowhere, this, after you do the show, every, you, you. You do the two-hour live show, and then they bring in a press line, and you have to do an hour of fucking chit-chat. After the show?

Sweaty and in your goddamn sparkly outfit, you got to walk around. And that was always when, like, my knee would swell up or my feet would start to ache. But you were so good at that. Well, thank you. But you have to know that. That's like a superpower of yours. Oh, just yet. Well, you do it enough.

Are they going to let you host next season, did they say? I know. You know what? I've been leaving. banana peels all over Alfonso Ribero's estate. Yeah. And so far nothing. Okay.

We'll get people on that. I've been, I've had Julianne Huff thrown into a van number of times. She somehow sneaks out. It's salsa. Do a quick two step out the door. Well, she's tiny too. Yeah. She can just sneak through the lock.

They leave the window open. Yeah. Yeah. Like just those side vent back windows in a van, she can just slide right out. Famously. But a component of that, of people's like they said to me at one of these things and I had never like do you know you're being referred to as the people's princess and I was like no but okay and there was just like and then and then we

would do these TikToks where like I had purses and stuff and I did not you know and I did not mind you know it was just interesting to me like the feminization of me in this sort of thing I was like it's interesting I don't mind it at all because like as I said like I'm not a big fan of Men, like men, I just, I'm not a big fan. Sure. You know, I, I just historically, I mean, I have a lot of, like, wonderful male friends, but generally speaking, if I go to a party and there's a group of women and a group of men, I'm going to talk to the women.

It's so funny. Because I love pussy. Oh, my God. That's what your T-shirt says. Is this being recorded? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you, I high-five to six times before we came in here. No, I.

I mean, I just, I just, women are just, I don't know, they're just more, I have more interesting time talking to women than I do. Yeah, it's so interesting because I, you know, like, I love my guy friends. And we have a lot of, like, I, it is very funny anytime we all get into groups together because it really just, I just go, we're talking about nothing, right? Yeah, yeah. We're literally talking about nothing. And then you like, one on one get to people and they're like, I feel so lonely. I feel like I don't have any friends. I'm like for, yeah, that absolutely checks out. Yeah, yeah. When you get together and you are taking the time and you all have something. you want to say and instead we're like, how are you doing? Great. Yeah, doing bits. Yeah, yeah. Can't you tell my loves a grow? You use they-them pronouns. Yeah. She hers fine. I'm like, to me, honestly, it's like I prefer day-them, but I think having any kind of a conversation about me online is not something I'm interested in. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like it's all comment

sections for a while, especially when I first was really like, it just was all like somebody. You mean when you said, like, when you stated a preference for pronouns? Yeah, which is like very kind, but then it became a very deductive fight, like a reductive fight in the comment section constantly. And I was just like, I, you know, not that I think, you know, you have to respect what people say. This is the case just for me and me only. But, you know, for me, I always view it as it's you know me or you don't know me.

And if you don't know me and you see me and you she her pronouns, I'm like, oh, like, the thing that it makes me feel really genuinely only is like, oh, you don't know me. And that's totally fine. That's like, you know, I don't expect everybody that comes across like a clip on Instagram to be like, I, you know, know this person and I know how this person identifies and things like that. But did that is the source of that? I mean, did you spend a lot of time wondering why that's your preference? What do you mean? Like.

Why to have a they, them pronoun like it? Every day. All the time, constantly. I'm thinking about it right now. Well, I'm here. Focus on me. I can't. For a minute.

Your pussy t-shirt is. bold and distracting. Don't high-five me. Every time you say push, hey, I want to high-five you. It's just reflex. I can't help it. All your women friends.

All my women friends. Let's talk more about it. No, I do spend like, you know, I think it is something that especially with the amount of combat you get, as a person that does and has come up existing very online. Like any kind of notoriety I've had

has come specifically from people seeing clips on the internet. Yes. So it's been a pretty constant source of like my thoughts. But, you know, I have people. It's just like, you know, if I didn't feel this way, I absolutely wouldn't say anything. If it wasn't something that was tugging at me constantly and it wasn't true to me, then I would literally never bring it up. My life is certainly not easier.

You know, easier is a relative thing because I'm, Like, my life is way better because of it. You know what I mean? I get to be seen and known by the people that I love. And that is worth every single second of any kind of pain that comes along with that. And the other big thing is like, I'm sure this happens to you in different capacities too. But like, people will come up to me after shows and be like, this is something that has eaten away at me. I feel like I look very femme.

But I, like, it just happened at Sketchfest this weekend where somebody was like, I just want you to know how much you just kind of like existing as yourself and saying something means to me and it gave me the confidence to like tell. people that because I was so deeply unhappy and I'm feeling better about that. And I'm like, it makes it worth everything. I've sort of like felt like an apathy towards like one or the other pretty much as long as I can remember. An apathy towards one or the other. Just sort of like gender preferences. I see. You know what I mean? You know, I know I identify sort of with like the gender bendy, non-binary side of things, but especially under like this trans umbrella and the things that are happening to trans people in this country. It's like it's so terrible, like the way in which people are being attacked just for

existing. And so like I, you know, I do welcome conversations, especially when people are, you know, open-minded and curious. Like I think it's important to to have those conversations. And I'm grateful that, you know, people ask me about it. I just, I'm, and I also, too, it's, it's my projection of my, uh, decades long. Why am I like this? Why am I like this?

Why do I do that? Why am I like this? So I just, when I read about, you know, like read about you and also knowing you over the years, you know, we're not like super close. But I mean, and I became aware of you online. You don't think we're super close? No, no, no. I think you're very hard to reach. Right.

Okay. I don't think I, I mean, I'll talk to your sister when she gets here. Yeah, please do. I knock on your front door every single day and I say, Andy, you're on for lunch and then you shut the blinds. I gave you the door long address. That's not me. That can't be right. That's not me.

I'm going to say an address right now. I'm going to say an address right now. Don't cut this part. You have to promise me you're not going to cut this part. No, but I just when I, I'm curious about like that, like about that component of your life. I too am like. And I, and I just, I project myself into it and say like, if I was, if that, if that was my urge, I would wonder why it was that happened. Yeah, definitely.

I mean, like, you know, I think. too, it is, you know, you often see that conversation about any kind of a queer identity where people sort of go, you know, is it nature, is it nurture? And I do like having it be a lived experience. I'm like, I think it's always been inside of me, but I'm really lucky to live in a time where I, we have language for it and I understand that it's a possibility within society for me. That honestly, I think is the big answer there. Like there is, you know, had I been born in Betsy Ross's era, and I think about that every single day. Right. What my life would be like, I do think about that a lot. You love flags. Do you think about Betsy Ross? Not bad. I think of Dolly Madison more. Who's that?

James Madison's wife. James Madison's wife. She's the one who's pussy is on your shirt. It does his artist rendering underneath the binastrics. I love that. It says Dolly and people always think Dolly partner. I'm like, no. You've been to Pigeon Forge?

Yeah. I have not been to Pigeon Forge. Oh, you're missing out. I have not been to Pigeon Forge. You think there's just Dollywood there and you should go. It's better than Disney. Sorry, I feel pretty strongly about that. But it's not just that.

I don't know of my, I don't know my, my six-year-old way. Go-carting, hotels. And did you need anything else? No, I love Dolly Parton, but I just have not had a reason to be in that car. You don't have, you don't even have to love Dolly to go to Pitchin Ford. Okay, okay. There's so much there. I saw something like yesterday online in some, it was some.

interview, it was Dolly Parton being interviewed by Barbara Walters. And it's a perfect example of like, which I just feel like Barbara Walters is the grande dum of interview journalism. But she was like, my recollection is like, she's kind of an asshole. Barbara Walters? Yes. I love that. And it's this clip of her going like, you're a beautiful woman. You don't have to wear the wigs. You don't have to dress in the ridiculous. Like, fuck you. Like, you know, I know, I know, I know, I know It's a different time when it's... She, though, is the blueprint of that idea that we all kind of have to have hot takes on things. Yes.

I think she really almost like, the headline comes from the strong opinion. Right. And it is. And I'm going to say the thing everyone's thinking. But it's like, yeah, but you don't have to. But in that, in Dolly's answer, one of the things she said in it's so it's just the best. She said, she said, show business is a money making joke. Huh.

And she's like, so I, you know, she's like, I'm having fun with it. This is all a joke. Like, just like my appearance and everything is a joke. That's brilliant. She's fantastic. Have you met her? Don't lie to me. I haven't met her.

Don't lie to me. I haven't matter. I've seen her in concert and stuff, but I do not think she's ever, I don't think she was ever on the Conan show. Which would be the only time I would have met her. Yeah. She also has that those like. Or barbecues at Kenny Chesney's house. Huh?

But I'm usually so drunk for those. Do you actually do barbecues at Kenny Chesney's house? No. I'm just trying to. Don't lie to me, Andy. I'm sorry. I got so excited. I have no contact with Kenny Chesney.

Yeah, we're no contact too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had to cut him out of my life. Sorry, Kenny. Enough. Enough. Was he ever on the Conan show? Yeah, but it was when you're out.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kenny and I are always competing for door stoop space at your house. And I just had to say, Kenny, enough. He doesn't want you here. You got it. Take a hat. That hat does not work in. No, it really doesn't. You got to go a little further north. Now, you grew up in Canada,

but you weren't born in Canada, right? And you lived in Illinois. I didn't know that you lived in Illinois. Are you from Illinois? I am. Come on. What part? I'm from a town called Yorkville, which is straight west of Chicago by Aurora. Yeah, yeah, of course. I like, we lived in like Campton Township, which is like, do you know St. Charles at all? Bigger Hotel where? Absolutely. Donnie Walberg and the anti-vaccine lady, what's her name, got married. Yeah, yeah. And they live in St. Charles, I think. Do they actually?

Are out in that way, yeah. Because she's originally from the south side of Chicago. Ah. And she used to be on the Conan show, Jenny McCarthy's. Jenny McCarthy. She's so much more than just the anti-vax lady. She's a judge on the mass singer. I was just about to say that.

She used to, she was on the Conan show in her early days of her career. and she still had her Chicago accent. And it was just really fun to see it kind of, you know, her to lose it over time. Because she was very much, I live near Midway Airport, you know, and very south side. Yeah, very, very true Chicago. But then I know that then they move back there and they live in that area. And that's actually where all my people are now in Geneva and Batavia. Geneva is, I think, like one of the prettiest towns.

Geneva is like a waspy Scandinavian dream of the town. Is that true? Yeah, yeah. It's very Scandinavian. It has a very like Swedish-Norwegian identity. I feel like that is like not. Maybe it's just like the people that I was hanging out with, but that's like not my memory of it. Oh, really? Like a large Latinx population around that area. Oh, absolutely that too, but that's not. They don't have gift shops for the Latinx.

They have lots of gift shops with the Swedish horses and, you know. That and there's a lot of, oh, what's that? it's the house where they it's like every room is like a different little store kind of it's like the yes the little traveler the little traveler a little traveler and egg harbor yes okay and now we're talking now we're talking in a way that alienates 95 percent of the audience giamia oh my god you're talking all of this stuff there we go that's uh zaz zah zia just look at you guys they don't know what What's the fucking talking about? Give me a Zah.

You got Boston and Alhambra over here. They don't know what you're talking about. Well, they're going to visit and then they're going to be like, I remember. What's your favorite city in the world? Say it on three, one, two, three, Madison Wisconsin. Tokyo. Okay. I believe you.

No, actually, you know what? I probably would say Osaka over Tokyo. Really? Yeah. I want to go to Japan so badly. Maybe Kyoto. It's definitely in Japan, though. Japan was fucking, I mean, surprise, surprise.

Japan's awesome. I'm the first person that I've ever noticed. Did you do Disney? Did you see? No, no, no. I went there once with my ex-wife and my kids. And because it was during Conan years, the only time I would have a good stretch of, you know, a few weeks off at a stretch would be August. So it was kind of like going to Tampa in August.

Whoa. After like four days. Hot. I was carrying two shirts in my bag because I knew I would sweat through. Andy. At least three before we had come back. No. But it was not fun. Then you can sign the shirt and give it to people. They could clone you.

And yeah, and it was also my, there was my daughter, who's now 20, and then her brother, who's 25, there was kind of a division between us in that my ex-wife and my son were very kind of like, they're much more macho than me and my daughter. And they would, and they would be like, you know, we're going to let's go to the temple. And it's like, and it's like, and it's, and it's, and it's. they look on the map and I'd be like, well, let's get a cab. It's a billion fucking degrees out. And they're like, we can walk. And I'd be like, no, okay. And by the time we got to the temple, my daughter, who at the time was maybe 10 or 11 or something, was done. Over it.

Done for the fucking day. And finally, like after the third day, they were like, yeah, we should probably maybe get on the train or take a cab. Yeah. Sometimes you have to take the long way around to what you want. Yeah. No, well, or just, you know. Because had you started doing the cabs, then the rest of the trip would have been like, we didn't get to walk anywhere and that was what we wanted to do.

No, just kidding. No, no, no. And also, yeah. I was kidding. I was kidding. Well, and they also, they were also, a lot of them were not pleasant walks, you know. What do you mean by that? They just weren't, it was like walking through just a boring city with nothing like,

there wasn't interesting shops or like a cute area with like lots of local color. It just happened to be between our hotel and the temple. And it would, you know, it's like auto body shops and the train and, you know, just nothing really pretty. Kind of fun. Beautiful this time of year I heard. I heard summer Japan, you got to check out the auto body shops. The story on you is that you're positive. You're an optimist.

But I think you're just contrarian. Yeah. Yeah. You're just anti-whatever. I agree with you. If I were being optimistic, you would be bitching. Completely agree, Andy. Well, there.

I just broke. You're contrarianism. No, you're totally right. Can't you tell my loves it grows? Well, how'd you end up in Canada? My dad had an opportunity to move, and we were either going to be in Rio de Janeiro or Toronto. And it was for a two-year contract. And I personally at the time was like, let's go to Brazil.

That'd be so fun. And I didn't know anything about. You can say it out loud. I don't think we should go to Brazil. And I'm saying that quietly because I don't want Canada. here because I, this doesn't air in Canada, right? Quiet Canada. Cut that part.

Cut that part. Yeah. But it, you know, moving to Canada really changed my life. It's Toronto is my favorite city in the world. I did just say, Mattis, it was my favorite city in the world. Yeah, yeah. And that was a lie. Toronto is my favorite city in the world.

Yeah. And then also any city I'm touring through is my favorite city in the world. Sure. Right. But any city you're on stage in. Yeah. It's my favorite city. Oh, Milwaukee.

Oh, Milwaukee. I love you. I do like Milwaukee. Milwaukee's pretty cool. Okay, so there we go. Yeah, yeah, there you sort of found some common ground, finally. Let's find a shitty one.

Buffalo, New York. Buffalo, New York. I'm sorry, Buffalo. You have the bills. I feel like that makes you guys happy. You don't need us. You got a fucking Niagara Falls right there. And the good side.

Yeah, exactly. It's the Canadian side. That was a lie. Oh, boy. I'm really sorry. Oh, well. But Toronto is the best city in the world to be young in, I think.

It's like, there's a huge arts and culture scene. Like, Canada's really good about fostering and encouraging Canadian talent and stories. So, like, you just get, like, really, like, a cool ability to make stuff. Like, it's usually, like, a low budget, but, like, you know, there's plenty of grants and, like, a lot of opportunity and people are very excited to get people making things. So to be young and wanting to be a performer in Toronto, like, I can't imagine a better place to get started. And it's, like, a lot of it, too, is kind of subsidized, too, because it's, yeah, it's seen as a plus.

Yeah, at least when I was there and, you know, coming up in Vancouver and Toronto, like they're really good about trying to incur it like some funding arts to some capacity. It's also comparative, right? I feel like I come to L.A. and it's like, well, I do feel fortunate to have started in an improv because that is pretty scrappy. You just got to get a couple of people. And there's, at least at the time I started COVID, obviously closed a bunch of stages. But, you know, if you wanted to get up in an evening, you probably.

could. Yeah. Which is really lovely. Yeah, yeah. And you're not alone, too. That's the thing that I, like, for me about improv that I, like, you're there. You're with people. I mean, and it's, it's fostered in me like, that that's my first connection. Yeah. There's being people on stage. Like the audience, because people are like, I just got a love, I love a live audience. I'm like, nah, I don't need a live audience. If I got people, funny people to do stuff with, you know. Yeah. Like, it can be on tape. It can be in front of an audience. That's all secondary to the fact that I get to do funny stuff with funny people. Well, and I'll say it, because that's a dropout model is you're doing a lot of improv with no audience. And I think you have to have in your bones sort of like understanding joke structure and how audiences react to things in order for that to work, I think and the trust amongst the people that you're doing it. But I totally agree. I'm like, if you're around people that you trust and you think are funny, you know, that really is what you need to build stuff. When's the last time you did an improv show? Oh, boy.

1776. No, no. No, it's hard to remember. Because, A, I mean, I am, I don't feel old, but I am old. I'm 59 years old. And in improv terms, that's pretty, pretty old, you know. And even the people that were like, like, you know, the UCB OG, Matt Walsh, Matt Bester. I mean, and those guys still do improv.

And a lot of them do it, you know, as. as a podcast kind of thing. You know, like it's, it still is a business to them. Yeah. But they even well into adulthood and having kids, like a lot of my original improv friends, were still doing it on weekends and stuff.

And I just, I don't know if it was because I was, I was doing a kind of improv every day on a late night talk show. Totally. That I got my fix or whatever. You know, like I was being funny in front of people So the notion of like on Saturday night to go and I just like, I'd rather leave my, not have to put on shoes or pants or whatever, you know, just stay home. Have you ever accidentally gone on stage? And like I have a pair of house shoes that now is our outdoor shoes because I keep accidentally bringing them and then getting to, getting to UCB and being like I am in my house shoes and I have to do. I have to get on stage in these.

Right, right. And I know nobody's thinking about it as much as I'm thinking about myself. But it is mortifying every time. their galoshes, their little clogs, and they're bright pink little flowers. Yes, they're complete rubber, and I won them at drag bingo. And they're my favorite things I have on the planet. I've had them for 10 years now. Yeah.

No, I have, yeah, no, I have a pair of Birkenstock, shearling clogs. Yeah. Like, I got them on sale about a year ago, and they're the best shoes I've ever had. And I'm the same way. Like, I wear them out and I feel like, oh, I'm worried. wearing my fucking I give up shoes. Yeah. But nobody cares.

I've always felt doing shows where I feel like I should dress nice. And then if I didn't feel like I was dressed nicely enough or, and I don't mean like a tuxedo. I just mean try a little bit. And then, but then it's like I'm on stage with people who really truly look like they have the flu. That is so funny. Because coming up as like very femme presenting, like it is the exact opposite I find.

Like if I get on stage looking too nice, I am then in a position where I'm winning back the audience. I see. You know what I mean? I understand that. I used to have to like I would have my hair down. And it was a little bit in my head. But also I do think that there was some truth to it, especially at the time where I was like I need to like I need to make sure that I look like I can like hang out. I can.

If somebody from the audience was to go be like, what's the score? I can tell them. You know what I mean? I think there's also too in the comedy world. Well, I mean, women have to do a ton more work than men do just period. and they have to because like I that was never a concern. I didn't think about it in that way. I just thought of it in terms of like my mother's voice saying,

you can't wear that to church, you know, that kind of thing. People do have to do more work because that pussy shirt doesn't come in my size. I would have to make it myself. Oh, really? Yeah. I actually, this is a personal design of mine. I can get it to you. Please do.

That's what I want the coffee machine and the, and one of those shirts. There's a, if you put in the name of my podcast, there's a discount. Oh, fantastic. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. Six percent. Yeah.

Massive. I'm getting six. Right at the top. No, but I also think to your point, too, I think that in the comedy world, there's a, the pretty girl gets diminished in terms of her comedic worth. Like, you know, within the group, you know, in the improv world, at least in my, in my experience. Yeah, and you know, it's like it's levels of, what would it be called? Like levels of like importance of need to where it's like, I don't know, it's like such a silly thing to be like, the pretty girls had it so hard in comedy because you know, like there's so many benefits that come along with that in other areas of work. But yeah, it just is a thing in comedy truly where it's like I and I think it's just for women and femmes in general.

Like, you know, comedy is all people are, it's like, you know, they say that with parenting too where it's like you started. a, I think, like, a lot of, like, women and femmes started a zero and you have to earn people's trust. Where it's, like, a lot of men that walk on stage start in 100. And then they, wait, is that right? I don't know. I think it's opposite. It's where men start at zero. So anything you get, it's like you're, you're only moving up.

I see. Like women and femmes, I think started 100 and are only moving down from there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, and comedy also, too, is very reductive, you know, like the, the fat guy. Like, the fat guy is the fat guy. And he has to be the fat guy, you know, and do the fat guy. Do you ever, when you were coming up, get, like, typed?

Or, like, did you ever do, like, an acting class where they were like, this is your type? Absolutely. And, I mean, not so much in acting class, but in auditions. Ah. In auditions. I get, I would, I get either the dumb guy or the friend. Like, that was always kind of, you know, that, you know, and very, as I've gotten older to, I've gotten to, you know, like, murder people a few times, which is really fucking awesome.

That's great. Oh, it's the best. It's the best. I would fucking be a murderer all day. All day? Every day. Have you thought about pitching a show where you just kill people? No. Okay.

I'll give you points on it. You know what? I'm going to give you 8% on the t-shirt. On the t-shirt? On the t-shirt for that. Yeah, yeah. For that. The t-shirt for the show.

Yeah, yeah. The merch. As long as I can help pick out the designer, I feel great about that. Sure. Absolutely. We're going to design an incredible t-shirt. There's going to be, they're not an inch of blank space on there. A big andy joint.

Yes. Pussy T-shirts. Lots of text. Yeah. Lots of. text. Heavy, heavy, heavy text. Yeah, yeah. Sexy text. Yeah, to the point where you're, pornographic pictures. You'll be reading for 30 seconds before you even realize that it's about pussy. It's about pussy. Yeah, yeah. The writing is poetic. The pictures are graphic. It'll make the high five

so much more rewarding. I think so. Because you've spent some time. You've invested a little bit of time in knowing. And then even for the points that I'm not getting for the show itself, I'll sort of get metaphorical points because I'll feel really good about having participated in making your dream come true. Oh. I feel great about that. that. This is really working out for me this podcast. I'm going to, I'm going to get something by the end of this. Oh, you are. I feel pretty good about this. Oh, you are. Don't worry. Well, you already got that coffee. I got a coffee. Yeah, yeah. And so sort of I'm taking my time tasting it to make sure that I can repeat it when I get home. Yeah.

You know those tea tasters? They have people that do that where they like taste tea and they're like, I can tell exactly what's in this. Yes. That's my dream. And then they swish and spit it out. Yeah. Yeah. Because, yeah. How much training do you think it would take for you to be able to do that? I think about this every day. I don't think I could do that. Ever? I don't think I would, yeah, no, I don't think I would have the attention span, you know, to note. Yeah, to go through and be like, okay, I'm going to, I got to learn what an Assam is versus a salam.

Okay, so I've never heard those words before. So I'm thinking maybe, so I got to do a little more studying. Yeah. Is what I'm hearing. Or a crossword every now and then. I think if I gave everything up, everything. You're right. And I only focused on being able to note what different tea flavors were two weeks.

Okay. I think I could do it. All right. Does that seem like a short amount of time? I don't. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, but I mean, honestly, if you're looking for a fallback, I think a real estate license might

be more fruitful. For me? Yeah. Do you think I could sell real estate? Oh, yes. Do you mean that? Yeah, yeah, no. You would promise to buy a house from me.

I, no, I absolutely. Yes, you have an incredible. You have an incredibly winning personality. An expensive house. Yes. You would buy it. I mean, as much as I can afford. I'm not good with money.

We go in over asking. If I could. If you're not good with money, be not good with money with me. Okay. But I mean, but A, I'm not moving anytime soon. You will be. Why? Because I'm going to sell you a house and it's going to be a better house.

Okay. Your house is going to be unlivable. I've given the address to so many people. They're knocking on your door. You're not answering. Honey, I called her already. Those people are because of Bick. Bick said them, honey.

I know, I know. I'm sorry. Listen, I'm sorry I was part of the problem, but guess what? Guess what? I can also be part of the solution. Well, you got to pass the real estate exam. Don't worry about that. Oh, okay.

I won't. I got to go. Don't you worry about that. No, I think, yeah, no, I think tea tasters. Because, well, that's the wine thing, too, you know. The wine thing, the, you know, the palate for wine and being able to tell what year it is and exactly where it's from and which it's unbelievable. It puts upon itself. I'm not interested.

But I mean, it's like you really got to like wine, you know, to do something like that. Do you ever fantasize or like have a dream about being like you start back over like for whatever reason? Like you still perform. You still do comedy, but it's like something you do because you love it, not because you want to make money off of it. Do you like know what it would be that you would do? You mean, oh, just as like a job? Comedy is like your hobby and a thing you like doing and you're still performing. You're still getting that fix and you're doing that.

But you have another job. What are you doing? Oh, boy. This is one of Vicks three questions. Yeah. There's a few different things. Well, one, there's just like the most practical thing. And that was like a thing that was present to me in Chicago would be advertising.

Whoa. Would be writing ad copy. That is kind of a big thing in Chicago, isn't it? Oh, it's a huge thing. Okay. And it was definitely like something that, well, if this all. Did your parents do that? No.

No, but I mean, but I went to film school. I worked in production. so I was around a lot of advertising people. And I was even given, offered a couple jobs. Like while I was doing that just because I was funny. And they're like, hey, come work for me in Columbus, Ohio. And like seriously, like come work for me and be a, you know, like a, you know, a junior VP at my little production, you know, ad house in Columbus, Ohio. And at the time making no money at all and just being like, oh, maybe I'll go to Columbus.

And then going, no, no, I don't know. I don't want to go to Columbus. Ohio. I don't want to give up just yet. But I mean, but that probably would have been something there. Another thing that I think I would find terrifically rewarding would be working with animals like in a zoo. I love a zookeeper. I could totally, you focus me like, Andy, you said that? You're going to be the flamingo guy. I'd be like, fuck yeah, I'm the flamingo guy. I could see you as a zookeeper 1,000 percent. I love it, you know. I once worked at a state park, like kind of like a foresty. State Park in Illinois. Like as a park ranger?

Just for summer work. For summer work, helping the park ranger. But it just all kinds, it was all outdoorsy stuff, mowing, painting things, outhouses, knocking down old barns with, and it was just, it was the, the pace was so slow. Like there was a whole grove of trees that had been not, old growth oak trees that had been knocked down 10 years prior by a tornado. And if there was nothing to do, you'd go over there and cut up a tree and haul it out. And it was like a long term, like, we got to get rid of these felled trees.

But it was just like, it'll wait. It'll all be there. And there was something about that and not being, just being left alone out and kind of that it's a similar thing with the animals. Like it's like, okay, yeah, you're there and there's people, but you're really just kind of. It's just you and the flamingos. Oh, I love that. Yeah. Okay.

Another, there's a, you and another universe doing that for sure. That would be another one. Also, too, I think I would, and because my mother was in the kitchen design business and some kind of house designing, building things. Like, I like, I like, I live in an old house and we're renovating it and I enjoy it. Would that be called like architecture of some kind? No, it would be more like a condo. You know, like a subcontractor or contract. Basically doing it yourself.

Yeah, doing it. Yeah, yeah. Or, you know, or renovate, doing home renovation or something like that. I do enjoy that. I would watch you on like an HGTV show. Okay. HGTV. Yeah.

Check, Vic. They know my address. Yeah. Give me a call. We'll send a camera crew over there. They'll be knocking on the door at 6 a.m. tomorrow. Hello. Kenny Chesney is going to be in the bushes because they're going to need the room on the

tube. We actually did pursue that. When we bought this house, it was built in 1907 in Pasadena, and it was a haunted house. It was like... Haunted for real? No, not ghosts, but it looked like a haunted house. Do you believe in ghosts? Did we talk about this?

I don't really. I don't really. One of my favorite themes for the call-in show is ghost stories. Yeah. We've done that a couple times. And some of them are legitimately chilling. And I would love to see a specter. I'd love to feel somebody sitting on the end of the bed.

I'm the same way. I'm open to the experience. I haven't really had that. Yeah. But I would love to be haunted. Yeah, yeah. I think I've talked about it. But my old house and now there's a little girl ghost.

Yeah. Andy, you started this off by saying you didn't believe in ghosts and there were a ghost. Now there's a little girl ghost. No, well, this is something that happened kind of recently. I grew up in the house that my great grandfather built. My mom's dad's dad built this farmhouse in Illinois. And then my grandfather lived there his entire life. And then we bought it when he passed away, added on to it, lived there.

My mom and stepdad got divorced. We sold the family house, because nobody was going to live in that town anymore. And it was a big, you know, loss for the everybody, especially the people that didn't have to fucking live there. They're like, we want to, you know, come visit. Like, well, you know, it's our house. So we sold it to a family that owned it for like, I don't know, 30-ish years. And then they just recently sold it finally to a guy that my brother went to high school with.

And my brother gets a call from this guy. And this guy says, we found it after we bought the house. They told us, oh, yeah, there's a little girl ghost that lives in this house who she seems like she wants to play. It's a very playful presence. And we've seen her a few times. And then this guy, and he's like, they didn't say that before we bought it. And then this guy said, and I've seen her a couple times. I've seen this little girl ghost.

She just wants to hang. And just wants to play. But here's the heartbreaking part. Okay. Because my great-grandfather built the house. It's got to be a relative. Yeah. My grandfather was married to a woman who was mentally ill and was a cruxie.

Christian scientist. And so which in those days especially, they eschewed medical care. They lost three kids. They had lost two in infancy. But the third one lived to be about four years old. And it was a little girl whose name is Nancy, I think. But that's the only little girl that lived in that house. Aside from my little sister, you know, who is not a ghost. That is crazy. So it could be, you know. Could be Nancy. Yeah, it could be my whatever that would be maker, my dance. Why do you think she didn't want to play with you?

I don't know. Maybe it is that type of thing you just have to be like open to seeing it. I guess. You just sort of like, probably not. Maybe or maybe she just is like she'd had enough family. Yeah. What kind of stuff were you into as a kid? As a kid?

Watching TV. Yeah, maybe she was like, I want to play, Andy. I want to play, Andy. I'm like, shut out. Maybe she was throwing a ball at your head the entire time. You just rezoned out. No. No, I'm watching TV and telling my brother, I don't want to go play with you.

I want to watch TV. Yeah. Your brother and Nancy were having a ball in the backyard. Absolutely. We've been talking for a long time and I haven't even gotten to your fucking hilarious show of very important people. Thanks, Andy. Which is really is such a great show. It's on drop.

out, which is now how is dropout doing? Because dropout is it for for people who are not young. Yeah. It's it's a, it's a, it's a, a hill to climb. Do you think? I think so. Yeah. In what sense? Just because it's not something that you just turn on the TV and it's not a YouTube channel. It's its own sort of it's like a Patreon network basically kind of. Oh, that's really interesting. Sure. I got it Sam Reich on the show and we talked about it. to, you know. And I mean, and you guys do such great stuff. And I really love it. But I am like a little bit too old to be sort of like where it's like I just like can't you just be on Netflix? Like we do get a lot of people really mad that we're not on YouTube. And we do put episodes on YouTube and all the shorts are on YouTube. And I think that you know, like Sam has talked about this a lot like, you know, a lot of the advertising strategy, uh, historically being around releasing the clips. And so a lot of people will watch it in clips. and not realize that there is a place to watch the full thing all together, which is cool. It's interesting. And then people do happen to find it at some point. But you are totally right. It's like it is its own sort of thing. But I think dropout's doing very well. I think Sam said in an interview,

you know, they crossed a million subscribers. It's incredible. I mean, like, again, it's, it is so bizarre to come up doing improv and being told that like your best case scenario is somebody seeing you on Harold Knight and then pulling. you for a TV show. Yeah, yeah. And so like, S&L or. Yeah, yeah. So it's like it really is insane and it's something that I never could have thought or predicted that I like, you know, I act as well. But like I could make a living just doing improv at dropout. You know what I mean?

Like that is, it's mind boggling. It's mind. It's mind. Because for me, yeah. And for me too, like I always. And this is, I also have to say like I still have a very, I still have the notion. of like when somebody's like, oh, I have a show on YouTube, there, my old fucking man frame of references like, oh, honey, that's so cute.

When it's like, no, it could be the biggest thing in the world. Like I don't, my sort of just, you know, in the way that you feel a certain age, regardless of your age, I am set in like my, in sort of like my media landscape is, is 1993, you know. Yeah. And so I'm the same way. It's like, well, you want to get on a TV show. And when I think about it, like, what does that even fucking mean anymore? This podcast is all recorded analog.

There's a tape. That is. It is. It's on a wax disc. Yeah. Yeah. I've never seen anything like this. Unbelievable.

It's taking us four days to record this episode. It is. And then I take it around and just stand by while people listen to it. Door to door. Yeah. I say they listen to it and I just kind of wait outside. And then they give me the disc back and they give me, you know, like a basket of acorn. And I turn that into a gruel that I feed my pigs with.

Yes. Yeah. But your pigs are lovely, by the way. And they're delicious. Oh, that Iberico ham. Mmm, delicious. Barico ham? Iberico.

Iberico. It's a Spanish ham. The pigs are fed nothing but acorns. Corns. It's fantastic. Of course. Look it up, people. And I did.

And I love that. Oh, good. Yeah, no, it's the same thing. Because for me, improv to me was always like, oh, it's nice. Yeah, it's good. But every attempt to put improv on TV, I just was like, well, this won't work. Yeah. The remote control is the weapon that people use against improv because if something lulls for a second, fuck it. I'm moving to the next channel.

I mean, like, I think that that is the beauty of hitting things at the right time sometimes. You know what I mean? Like, you know, a lot of it is work and most of it is luck. You know what I mean? Like, I got really lucky that I ended up on a Herald team with the people that I was on when I did because it was like the last little remnants of college humor, that then I got swept into this dropout thing and also dropout coming up at a time where like TikTok was big

and people were at home with the lockdowns. And so people were scrolling and like finding stuff. Also not all artists for everybody. And that's totally fine. But I also think we're living in a time where like, especially a lot of the legacy networks, you're seeing so much of the same stuff. Boy, are you.

It's not feeling like people are making it. And with improv and especially with like our shows, you can see, I think what the beauty of it is you can like really see the seams. I think the production value is great, but you can also see people physically creating it. And when you can see that something is handmade, especially right now, I think people are like just craving that. It's authenticity. You just hear that phrase over and over and over that that's what people want. And I mean, and I would, you know, when I was on dancing with the stars, people would say like, oh, it's just so authentic. and he's so real and stuff, which it's not like a calculation.

It's just like, no, it's just an instinct that that's the way to do things. And it was always the way that I carried myself on television was on the Conan show. It was like, no, I'm going to be me. I don't, nobody wants to see fake, phony, anything. And also, I don't want to do that. But they still don't, people still don't like, they haven't gotten it. Like the business, they don't, they haven't gotten quite yet. Like, no, no, no.

if you make this like the other stuff, it's not going to get as big as it could. You got to try now sort of just like doing things because they, you know, I'm at a loss here for like how to explain it. But you know, like, no, but, you know, but not to have like just a phony show where you're trying to, you know, overproduce it in a way that makes it seem like another show that's been on television. And unfortunately, you also like hit this head where, and sorry, art and capitalism coexisting gets kind of tricky because it's like sometimes you put a lot of effort into something and you make it. And some people really like it and care about it and connect with it. But unless it hits X amount of people, they're like, well, the money is not there to make something. You know what I mean? And so stuff like that goes away.

And that honestly is I think where a YouTube and a dropout and mythical and like all of these like, you know, places fill some of those gaps on the comedy side of things because it. does make art accessible and you don't necessarily need those like massive overheads in order to make something worth making. You know, some of those gatekeepers then are gone and then the gatekeepers just become, you know, enough people watching it that it's sustainable for you to continue doing something. And that's beautiful. Yeah, yeah. Well, and I don't, I also don't mind the tension between commerce and art in, in this, in television. You know, I do think that like, and I don't mind. I always find the most rewarding things that I've done

are things that were satisfying to me, but also satisfying to an audience. Because you can do stuff that's just satisfying to you. And so what? Yeah. It's if that's what you want to do, that's what you want to do. And that's cool.

And if that, you know, sort of closed loop of communication and expression is good for you. That's cool. But like for me, it's like, no, no,

I want people to hear it. If I'm going to make a joke, I want people to laugh. You know, I want to. But it's also like so much of, especially right now, it feels like ability to sell stuff is its ability to be proven before it's even been made. And so sometimes it's hard to explain like what something like weird or out there is going to look like and how audiences are going to connect to it. And it doesn't mean that audiences won't connect to it. It just means that like you can't explain it in a way that, you know, the four people in a room or whatever that you're trying to sell it to. do. So, you know, again, it's like, it's great that that pathway exists. And I, you know, like I,

I love doing stuff there. But it also is very cool to have pathways where people are a little more willing to take risks on stuff where people maybe can't necessarily see exactly what that outcome is going to look like. But going, it sounds like a really cool idea. And we're going to try it anyway. How did the concept for very important people come about? So Sam created a show called, Hello, My Name is for Josh Rubin and Pat Castles. Uh, when, drop out. Drop more names or I don't you? There we go.

Biden, Joe Biden. Do you know him? I do. He was in government at that time, I'm assuming. So it, you know, it just was one of those things where they, he created that show. Josh was the one that was always getting in hair and makeup. And sometimes he'd have an additional person on there. But it was always him.

And then Pat was always the one doing the interviews. It was this like five to seven minute YouTube series. And it's interesting because a lot of my generation of people that worked at college humor and drop out, like that was sort of like, that was sort of like, like their show where they were like, oh, like I watched that all the time on YouTube. Oh, cool. And so we, when Sam wanted to bring that back, he just kind of cold emailed me and was like, would you want to host this?

And I was like, absolutely. I didn't even finish reading the email. I didn't see anything about the money. I was just like, I want to do this one 100%. And tell people the concept for people that don't know it. So one, for our version of this show, one person, we have a rotating cast of improvisers who come in, not necessarily improvisers at this point. but a lot of different comedians who get in full, like, prosthetics and hair and makeup, they don't know what character they're going to be.

Then they look in the mirror, see their character. They have about two minutes to decide what their character is going to be, and then they come into an improvised interview with me. And that lasts. We film for about an hour, but that concludes to be with editing about 15 to 25 minutes. I see. It's so fun. When I first signed on to it, they didn't, they had originally thought maybe they would do like three characters and one episode. But then at the end, we ended up with so much footage that it was like one episode,

one character per episode, which was great. And I was really scared because there wasn't a lot of talk about what would happen. And somebody in one meeting at one point was like, it's so fun, because maybe we can rotate out the host every season would be a fun thing. And so I went, how do I tie myself so strongly to this that there is absolutely no way to untangle me from what's happening with the show? Right, right. Or you just blow up that person in their car. What a good, idea, Andy. You said Park Ranger, and I think mercenary would have been fun for you. You know what? Still could be. That's a Jason Statham

movie waiting to happen right there. Or maybe it's an Andy Richter movie. Okay. You said you want to kill more people. I do, I do. I really want to kill more people. That's a good pull quote. Give it to yourself. Okay. All right. What's a good pull quote? I want to kill more people. Andy Rickarder. Right on the bottom. Yeah, yeah. It's on a book jacket for somebody. Absolutely. A psychiatrist who's spending a lot of time talking to you. Yeah, yeah.

The so-called feminist wants to kill more people. Well, I'm always amazed, too, sometimes because I knew the concept of the show, but there's also, too, a lot of times there's like sort of added cutaways and stuff. Like, do you just kind of do that stuff on, you know, like somebody will say like, oh, I'm looking at myself and, you know, I'm a snail, but oh, I'm a snail who's a lounge singer. And then there will be a cut. I mean, this is just. And then it'll be a cutaway of like the lounge act, you know. So the cutaways are always during the improv. So what will normally happen is like we have a whole green screen set up.

And what we'll do is like we film all those afterwards. So once we have a Johnny, our wonderful script supervisor who will sort of like write everything down. And then Tamar, the director and me and Paul and David like a couple of the execs will sort of more names for you. Because I know how much you love names. Paul David. You're writing them. You've got to be writing these down. These are all Bible names.

All Bible names. I said I don't work with anybody who. whose name isn't in the good book. Right, right. R. D.P. Hezekiah. Yeah. Ezekiel. So we, yeah, so we then go through at the end and are like, these are the four things that we want to shoot on the green screen.

So it's a lot of just pointing to be like, and we have a clip of that or whatever. Is there, do you get moments where the performer who is, like, is there, do you get that loggerhead sometimes? Like, I think this, you know, that the snail should be this snail. It was like, no, guys, I don't. So I'm not a part of that conversation normally. like they do the, so they get in the hair and makeup, they do the reveal. And the reveal is with sort of like that group that I was, the Bible group that I was talking,

the Bible study. They sort of are all chit-chatting about like what character they think it would be strongest or is maybe like, because especially the people that are, you know, later in a season that we're shooting, don't necessarily know who, what kind of characters have gone before. Yeah, you don't want overlap. Yeah. So all of a sudden, for whatever reason, we get a lot of people that want to be megachurch pastors in their outfits.

So it's like we can only have so many megachurch pastors. Sure. Of course you can't. Maybe, I don't know. We'll do one season that's all megachurch pastors. I don't think so. Andy, what do you think? I know.

And then we sort of make it actually a service. We get people to send him money. How fun would that be? And that's how we fund more stuff. That's how we fund your show. Andy murders more people. Imagine if one of them, people don't take them ironically and they become a mega church. A megachurch church pastor.

Yeah, like Paul F. Tompkins as a real megachurch pastor. He's so close. He's inches away on any given day. I think and he'd be fantastic. Oh, he would be good. I'd give him money. Yeah, yeah. I do give him money all the time.

I see him and I go, here's $5. Get yourself some lunch. That's sad in so many ways. That's on both sides. Paul is the nicest guy I've ever met. A yob in my life. The nicest. And I think he is the nicest showbiz person.

He was like one of the first people that like before he even ever really met me, I was like doing like from facing videos over COVID as all of us did. Yes. And he like reposted something. was like, this is really funny, you should keep doing videos. I was like, that's the nicest thing that you possibly could have said in sort of my lockdown psychosis. What, you have a, is there like a new season of very important people?

Right now. Right now. In this moment. Right now. Cliffs are dropping as we speak. Wow. Yes. It's very, very funny.

I love it so much. Would, if you had to dress up as a character, do you have like a pitch on what character you would be? I need to see the, the costume from. Oh, uh-uh. You got, you are, you just are like above, you're getting to look at it and you're sort of like, if I had to be something, I would want to be this. You know, serial killer, zookeeper. Covered and Flamingo. Right, right.

Who does home renovation. I love that. Yeah, yeah. So that's sort of, so that's your costume and then your character is going to be, you're doing a home renovation show. Right, right. I love that. And I've just won ad writing contest. Whoa.

Yeah. That gets me a trip to Chicago. I think if I was going to make you a character, I would do exactly you, but then part of your hair a little bit differently. It would be so subtle. Yeah, yeah. See what it does to your confidence level. I was going to say that would be the Emmy episode. Are you guys eligible for Emmys or no? Yes, though. Okay. So because, and so you come from the late night world. I sure do. So because of now the length of the episodes, I now am only eligible for the talk show category. Oh, wow.

And so sort of that was my reaction as well when I heard that. I went, great. I love that. But the next part- I'm coming for you, Fallon. That's it. Yeah, yeah. It's my, me and my mortal nemesis, Jimmy Fallon, spread the word.

I need him to hear about this somehow. But it, you know, I think that's all, you know, great. Love it. Right, right, right. I mean, just, I was curious. But it is the type of thing where now, because of that category, our makeup team can be nominated, which I think is kind of. Kind of massive.

That's really huge. And they have a good chance at it because there's not a lot of places that are doing. Our makeup team literally, and I don't know if I'm supposed to say this, but I think I can because they've already won Emmys for it. They work on Star Wars and stuff like that. They're unbelievable. Yeah. They are pretty amazing.

Yeah. I'm like, that makes sense to me. I'm like, that rocks. I'm like, that is where I think we should be focusing our attention. Awesome. I also want to say, because, you know, yeah, check out the show, everybody. But you're in the spy thriller ponies, which I've been seeing. a lot of clips about and I even like, I didn't even know you're in it and I think I put it on my list.

Andy, you know. That's all I needed to hear. Thank you. We just overtook traders. We're at the number one spot on Peacock. Are you really? Yes. Oh, that's great.

Thank you. I heard a bunch of ooze. It's with Amelia Clark and Haley Lou Richardson. Angels. And it's a spying. And there's, are you playing a Russian? Is that what I see? No.

I'm playing like a, I'm sort of like the head bitch in charge of the like embassy secretaries. I see. So I'm sort of one. So they come back as spies after their husband dies. This all happens like five minutes in and I think is in the synopsis. And I don't know that they're agents. So I just think that they're really bad at their jobs. I see.

And I'm kind of constantly confused as to why they're here and messing up my system and so so bad at what they do. It's constantly confused. Is that what you get casting wise a lot? I, my type that I got was victim. They said, so you're the serial killer. I sort of, I'm not to brag. My type was a victim. They went around the room and there was this, there was somebody in my class named Jake Manley,

who is like a very talented actor and he went, you are a leading man. You are a leading man. You're going to clean up and he does. He like, he still works as an actor doing stuff like that. He's, you know, very talented, wonderful. And then he was like, you're going to be that funny person. You're going to be somebody that's going to like, you know, really is going to be able to play dramatic roles. Like a teacher?

My acting teacher at the time. And he goes, and Vic, you are a victim. you're a victim. You're going to sort of be killed or be crying because someone was killed or be robbed. And you're going to, that's what you're going to do. We won't use a video for this, but I have a look of horror on my face. Fuck that guy. Honestly, it was like I couldn't have gotten a more hilarious one for myself.

Especially now that I'm in comedy, I'm like, that is a gift. You know what I mean? Had I not gone into comedy, it maybe would have crushed my spirit. But I couldn't have had a better thing for that. I guess what I did play a lot of victims. Really? Yes. Yeah.

No, there was a lot of the yeast infection. Victimized by a fungus. That's it. When I first came out here and I was lucky enough to have an agent because I had been working in New York and they had a relationship with an agent out here. And so I had an agent out here. And I was, nothing had happened. Real estate? No, no, no.

But they sent me on all kinds of different things, which I really liked, like, you know, all different kinds of parts. And then I got a part in the movie Cabin Boy, the Chris Elliott Cabin Boy, where I play, like, a person with an IQ of four, like a really profoundly stupid person. Is this a movie that you like people watching? Like, can I go back and watch that? Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Cabin boy, Chris Elliott. It's a very, it's a cult. Classic. It's really great.

It's really, really funny. But I, so, and then after I got that, they were very happy that I got that part in the movie, nothing but morons. Nothing but idiots. You played too well. Just for, like, that was, I couldn't ever get anything else but dummies. Really? Yeah, yeah. It was like, oh, well, I guess that's what the, what the marketplace is for him is idiots.

That's wild. Yeah, yeah. Is that like, was that a fun thing to do? or were you sort of like, if I could go back, like, this is the type of character that I would want to play? No, I mean, I'm happy to go where needed. But I was a little bit disappointed because it, you know, like how many flavors of idiot do you have in you? You know what I mean? But no, I didn't mind.

And then the Conan show happened. And so I did, you know, I was fine. Obviously, I know you're so massive from the Conan show. But I, my first, like, real interaction is obviously it was like obsessed with the rest of development. So I feel like that is where I saw it. Yeah, yeah. First and you were so wonderful. Thank you.

It must have been kind of fun getting to do a couple of different things. Oh, no, absolutely. It was great. That was, and people, and I've talked about this before, like that show, the reason that, well, the first thing I did there, because I was doing a show called quintuplets. Yes. On Fox. That was like this sort of raunchy family comedy where, like, the pilot season before, I was

told I was too young to have teenage kids. in, you know, like shows they'd been. And then the next, the very next season, 10 months later, I had five 16-year-olds. Yeah. And so it was on the Fox lot. Arrested was like two-minute walk away. They're set.

And I would go over there. And I knew Mitch Hurwitz a little bit and a couple of the writers. But Will Arnett and I were friends. And I got to, because I got to be friends because he was married to Amy Poehler at the time. And Amy's an old dear friend of mine. So I would just go over there and hang out and bitch and complain. Like, I want to be on this show. I don't want to be on the show that I'm on.

So they put me in like just as like a cameo. And all I remember is that like it was angry and I got to throw a sandwich, like a big sub sandwich on the ground. And then they wrote me back as a part. And because I was on this show that I was a little embarrassed by Quintuplets and a little frustrated by it to be frank too. You know, like it was like the kind of thing where it was the sort of show where the writers would be sitting in a little group on set on a day when we didn't have an audience who were taping.

And I would walk over and kind of stand at the edge of the group. And they would stop talking and then turn and look at me and like, can we help you? Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'd be like, oh, no, no, that's all right. Yeah, I guess I don't have anything to contribute to the coming up with funny ideas part of the show. Oh, God. Yeah.

So that was like a little bit. It sucked. But so they had me, they knew I'm embarrassed a little bit by the, this show. So they write me in as quintuplets, because that's funny. It's also so funny hearing this story because I didn't have that context for it. Like I watched it after it and come out. Like I had all the box DVD sets. So it just was like a funny bit that lived on its own. It's just like a funny pit. No, no. It was it was a it was a it was a it was a, it was a every, everybody on that show that played themselves on that show played themselves as a

fucking loser as just a just a fucking absolute loser you know I love that I like it even more now like that really does add like a lovely spice to it I also too I think I've told this before too there's an episode in where it's the episode it's the quintuplet episode and it's where

Bateman wants me to come do some sort of benefit for the school and for the, you know, Michael Sarah's school, I forget all the character names. And so I have this, but I'm at the school looking for my brother, one of my quintuplet brothers, who runs the school. And I'm there and Bateman runs into me. And I'm kind of, I'm the loser version of myself. And he says something like, you know, hey, there's this charity thing, would you want to do it?

And I say something like, is there dinner involved? And he says like, yeah, I start. All right, I'll do it. And in so in they I do the scene a couple of times and I'll be like all right I'm going to go I'll be in the I'm going to go away from my brother in the cafeteria or whatever and I did it a couple of times and the director came over and he's like going like I'm really kind of looking for something different and I finally realize what he wants me to do is like like like be like is there dinner in it okay I'll be there because I fucking love to eat so much and I'll be in the cafeteria. you need me because I love to, and, and he, like, I'm not understanding what he wants. He's trying to be delicate and explaining, like, what the joke is. And because to me, the joke was I'm, I'm, like, my showbiz career is so shitty that I'll show up for a free meal. Like, not that, like, I'm food obsessed.

And I said, and I said to him, I said, like, oh, you mean fatty loves to eat. That's what you want me. You want fatty loves to eat, right? And he goes like, well, and I said, no, no, that's fine. I said, yeah, fatty loves to eat. Yeah, no, I got that. I got that. Let's do fatty loves to eat.

And then we, and then, oh, no, I didn't say, okay, let's do fatty loves to eat. I said, no. I just said, no, I'm not going to do that. Good for you. And he said, he said, whoa, that's the only time I've ever had an actor tell me no. And I was like, well, welcome to it. You know, but no, I'm not going to do it that way. And that was like, there was a part of me.

It was like, because the onset writer was trying to push it that way. And I was just like, why would my friends write in this thing? of like, like old, like I'm a real life Homer Simpson, a live action just thought bubble of a sandwich all the time. Good for you though. That's like very exciting about getting to a place where you're just like, yeah, no, oh, the power of saying no. Learning to say no is one of the most thrilling, invigorating, blood engorging kind of feelings in show business. Like, no, I'm not going to do that. I mean, like, it's incredible. I'm not there. That's my dream in show business to get there. can start doing it right now. Honestly, the quicker you do it, the better because they,

they fucking, they love it. In a way, they don't, they don't love it, but they love it. And saying, and then not being a dick and picking and choosing in a, you know, in a useful way, but it only makes your life better. Because if you say, as, as like the, the Margaret Atwood phrase, present rear word, if you present rear word, if you present rearward, they will avail themselves of your rear till the end of time. And then at a certain point, you have to go, no, I'm not going to do that anymore. Because all they never, the whole thing like, you do this for us, well, no, there's never any payback. It's just take, take, take, take, take. So at a certain point, you got to go, no. Can't do it. Yeah, yeah,

not going to do that. Like hosting a game show and then them saying, we come over here, we got you to do. And I thought I was doing like some sort of press thing. It was to give, to say a happy birthday to the president of the network and to make a plea like, I hope you pick up this show. I said, no. Did the show get picked up? No. No.

Well, it did for a little bit. Okay. Which one was it? It was a game show on the Food Network that was a half hour long. And it was the only half hour programming on the Food Network. So the only thing that could accompany it was itself. Another hour of it. It was itself.

So, and it just, it was, you know. Honestly, I think then in that case, you not making that video saved you and the guy on his birthday having to be like, watch it, please pick up the show video. It was a woman, but yeah, yeah. Whoa. That was crazy of me. Yeah. No, that's all right. Did you hear that?

That's all right. Yeah. I think I got to earn my T-shirt. Right. By the end of this episode, I'll have earned back my T-shirt. All right. And I got seconds left. All right.

No, I've been, I've kept you here too long. But I want to say. No, this is the best. Are you kidding? I love catching up with you. Dimension 20. It's an anthology series with the setting and cast changing between seasons. Most of the games are used Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition.

I'm out. Andy, have you ever seen any Dungeons and Dragons stuff? I actually played Dungeons and Dragons once. With? It's a podcast that Brian Pusain does. Okay. I can't remember the name of it. What did they?

It was kind of fun, but not anything that I would ever do again. I'm like, I think I'm kind of similar. I'm like this so there's like different game systems in the same way where it's like you know monopoly has a million different things and some of them are like you know you get monopoly deal and you're like this is the best it's so fast. Yeah. So we played a monopoly deal version of D&D basically where it like it moved a little bit faster. We didn't have to know it like as soon as there's any kind of a spell and it's like you can use the spell twice and then it's and then you can't use the spell anymore. I'm like it's too much math. Right, right.

I can't do that. Yeah. So this was really fun because it was like hanging out with a bunch of my best friends and just sort of chit-chatting. Yeah. No, that was that was that was the sort of the fun aspect of it too, but I just don't. It isn't a thing. I'd, I'd rather, I don't know, play gin rummy, you know, like if you're going to start filming you playing gym. Yeah, no, they don't. But you know what I mean? It's like if you're going to go over to somebody's house. I mean, that's kind of what playing poker is. It's like go to somebody's house and you hang out and play cards. But I like, I like, at a certain point, it'd be like, oh, I'm a. crafty acrobatic, you know, a rapscallion who's good with a dagger. You know, I just, I, that's not for me. That is the pull quote for the show.

That's your show, the one where Andy killed people. I'm a crafty rap scallion who's good with a dagger. That's, and it rhymes, you know, something, something Mick Jagger. Head to toe tights. Little bells on your feet. Pointy shoes. All the way up to my head. Head to toe.

How do I see? Eyes, Andy, but you got what on top of them? Sunglasses. The sunglasses killer. Jingle, jingle, jingle. Picture it. I'm the victim. I'm writing myself in the show.

All right. All right. Good. The big thing with D&D, I will just say, is I loved this experience. It was so fun. Playing it normally, my big beef with it is like when you're playing Jim Rummy, you finish a hand and then you can go, do we want to play again or are we done? This, you're kind of trapped.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. D&D, typical, you're a little bit trapped for four hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Regardless. Yeah. All right. Well, very important people.

Dropout TV. Wow. Spy Thriller Ponies. Peacock. Yeah. Big Place Cheryl. That's me. And Dimension 20.

There we go. Come on. Look at this. And thank you so much. Andy, this was an absolute blast. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, I'm happy to have me.

And you've got to come do the call-in show again sometime real soon. In a heartbeat. Okay. Listening to other people's problems. Yeah. Live on the radio. Right, right. Or they're like terrible, embarrassing stories. Yeah, something better than that.

People have also always been like, why not positive stories? Like, because what a fucking yawn that is. What do we say? Congrats. Yeah, yeah. We want disasters. We don't want victories. So we'll tune in next week here on the three questions for more disasters.

No victories. No victories, none. Vic, thank you so much. Thank you for having me, Andy. Onward, upward. Victimhood. Victimhood. The three questions with Andy Richter is a team cocoa production.

It is produced by Sean Doherty and engineered by Rich Garcia. Additional engineering support by Eduardo Perez and Joanna Samuel. Executive produced by Nick Leow, Adam Sacks, and Jeff Ross. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Battista, with assistance from Maddie Ogden. Research by Alyssa Graal. Don't forget to rate and review and subscribe to the three questions with Andy Richter wherever you get your podcasts. And do you have a favorite question you always like to ask people?

Let us know in the review section. Can't you tell my loves are growing? Can't you feel it ain't it showing? Oh, you must be a knowing. This has been a team Coco production.