The Tim Ferriss Show - #287: Terry Crews — How to Have, Do, and Be All You Want

Episode Date: December 20, 2017

Terry Crews (@terrycrews) is an actor and former NFL player (Los Angeles Rams, San Diego Chargers, Washington Redskins, and Philadelphia Eagles). His wide-ranging credits include the original viral Old Spice commercials, television series such as The Newsroom, Arrested Development, and Everybody Hates Chris, and films including White Chicks, the Expendables franchise, Bridesmaids, and The Longest Yard.He now stars on the Golden Globe award-winning Fox sitcom Brooklyn Nine-Nine. In 2014, Terry released his autobiography, Manhood: How to Be a Better Man -- or Just Live with One.Enjoy!This podcast is brought to you by 99Designs, the world's largest marketplace of graphic designers. I have used them for years to create some amazing designs. When your business needs a logo, website design, business card, or anything you can imagine, check out 99Designs.I used them to rapid prototype the cover for The Tao of Seneca, and I've also had them help with display advertising and illustrations. If you want a more personalized approach, I recommend their 1-on-1 service. You get original designs from designers around the world. The best part? You provide your feedback, and then you end up with a product that you're happy with or your money back. Click this link and get a free $99 upgrade. Give it a test run...This podcast is also brought to you by FreshBooks. FreshBooks is the #1 cloud bookkeeping software, which is used by a ton of the start-ups I advise and many of the contractors I work with. It is the easiest way to send invoices, get paid, track your time, and track your clients.FreshBooks tells you when your clients have viewed your invoices, helps you customize your invoices, track your hours, automatically organize your receipts, have late payment reminders sent automatically and much more.Right now you can get a free month of complete and unrestricted use. You do not need a credit card for the trial. To claim your free month and see how the brand new Freshbooks can change your business, go to FreshBooks.com/Tim and enter "Tim Ferriss" in the "how did you hear about us" section.***If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes? It takes less than 60 seconds, and it really makes a difference in helping to convince hard-to-get guests. I also love reading the reviews!For show notes and past guests, please visit tim.blog/podcast.Sign up for Tim’s email newsletter (“5-Bullet Friday”) at tim.blog/friday.For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts.Interested in sponsoring the podcast? Please fill out the form at tim.blog/sponsor.Discover Tim’s books: tim.blog/books.Follow Tim:Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss Instagram: instagram.com/timferrissFacebook: facebook.com/timferriss YouTube: youtube.com/timferrissPast guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, and many more.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

At this altitude, I can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start shaking. Can I ask you a personal question? Now would have seemed the perfect time. What if I did the opposite? I'm a cybernetic organism, living tissue over a metal endoskeleton. The Tim Ferriss Show. This episode is brought to you by AG1, the daily foundational nutritional supplement that supports whole body health. I do get asked a lot what I would take if I could only take one supplement,

and the true answer is invariably AG1. It simply covers a ton of bases. I usually drink it in the mornings and frequently take their travel packs with me on the road. So what is AG1? AG1 is a science-driven formulation of vitamins, probiotics, and whole food sourced nutrients. In a single scoop, AG1 gives you support for the brain, gut, and immune system. So take ownership of your health and try AG1 today. You will get a free one-year supply of vitamin D and five free AG1 travel packs with your first subscription purchase. So learn more, check it out. Go to drinkag1.com slash Tim. That's drinkag1, the number one, drinkag1.com slash Tim. Last time, drinkag1.com slash Tim. Check it out. This episode is brought to you by

Five Bullet Friday, my very own email newsletter. It's become one of the most popular email newsletters in the world with millions of subscribers. And it's super, super simple. It does not clog up your inbox. Every Friday, I send out five bullet points, super short, of the coolest things I've found that week, which sometimes includes apps, books, documentaries, supplements, gadgets, new self-experiments, hacks, tricks, and all sorts of weird stuff that I dig up from around the world. You guys, podcast listeners and book readers, have asked me for something short and action-packed for a very long time. Because after all, the podcast, the books, they can be quite long.

And that's why I created Five Bullet Friday. It's become one of my favorite things I do every week. It's free, it's always going to be free, and you can learn more at tim.blog forward slash Friday. That's tim.blog forward slash Friday. I get asked a lot how I meet guests for the podcast, some of the most amazing people I've ever interacted with, and little known fact, I've met probably 25% of them because they first subscribed to Five Bullet Friday.

So you'll be in good company. It's a lot of fun. Five Bullet Friday is only available if you subscribe via email. I do not publish the content on the blog or anywhere else. Also, if I'm doing small in-person meetups, offering early access to startups, beta testing, special deals, or anything else that's very limited, I share it first with Five Bullet Friday subscribers. So check it out, tim.blog forward slash Friday. If you listen to this podcast, it's very likely that you'd dig it a lot and you can, of course, easily subscribe any time. So easy peasy. Again, that's tim.blog forward slash Friday. And thanks for checking it out. If the spirit moves you. Hello, boys and girls, ladies and germs. This is Tim Ferriss. And thank you for joining me once again. As always, it is my job to deconstruct world-class performers from

every field imaginable to tease out the habits, routines, and so on that you can use. This episode is a very special one. It was such a treat, and you will realize why once we get into it. But it was recorded live at the Aratani Theater in Los Angeles in front of a sold-out crowd, so thank you to everyone who came. This was for Live Talks LA, and the guest was from within the pages of Tribe of Mentors, Terry Crews. You may have heard of Terry Crews before. Twitter, Instagram, at Terry Crews. Facebook, Real Terry Crews, TerryCrews.com. Terry Crews is an actor and former NFL player. Los Angeles Rams, San Diego Chargers, Washington Redskins, and Philadelphia Eagles. His wide-ranging credits include the original viral Old Spice

commercials, television series such as The Newsroom, Arrested Development, and Everybody Hates Chris, and films including White Chicks, very underrated film, I think it's fantastic, The Expendables franchise, Bridesmaids, and The Longest Yard. He now stars on the Golden Globe award-winning Fox sitcom Brooklyn Nine-Nine. In 2014, Terry released his autobiography, Manhoodle, how to be a better man or just live with one. And we start in some really unusual places in this conversation. And it takes us a little bit of time to warm up as it very, very often does, but stick around because this conversation really, really delivered. And with Terry, you just have to give him the ball and let him run with it. And that applies metaphorically in so many different capacities. But I really hope you enjoyed this conversation. If you enjoy it even half as much as I did, you will love it. It was

that much fun. And I remember for hours afterwards, I went out to have wine and dinner with a few friends. And I just said, God, man, Terry really, really hit a home run with this evening. I mean, he just killed it. And I think you get a feeling for why that's the case. A lot of these stories you've never heard before. A lot of the tips, the tools, favorite books, and so on. The elaborations you've never heard before. Terry is a true original. And here we go. Without further ado, please enjoy my conversation with Terry Cruz. Whoa. Yo. What's up? Oh, oh, oh, oh. Ah! Man, it's so good. How y'all doing?

Oh, this is awesome. I love Jim Paris. This has been so surreal for me. First greeting you, this is the first time we've met in person, and clapping him on the trap and feeling like I was trying to move a steer, I realized you are, in fact, as big as you look on television. And first and foremost, I really just wanted to thank you for, and I mentioned this backstage, but being so deliberate and thoughtful in your responses, because I do know how busy you are,

and we're going to talk about that schedule. And you really took the time to put intention into your answers and people have just gone berserk. I mean, it's been a very powerful impact. So thank you for that. Thank you. Thank you. And I thought we'd start somewhere that perhaps people wouldn't associate you with, if that's even English, but you guys get my drift. And that is art. So I went on to your Instagram profile not too long ago, and I saw a number of different profiles.

And then I started digging, and I didn't want to tease out too much because I want to talk about it. Can you tell us a little bit about your background with art? Wow. First of all, I grew up in Flint, Michigan. Very popular place right now. I drank the water. I did. I'm a little crazy. But the deal was is that I've always been left-handed, right-brained, and very visual about everything in my life. And I remember, I have an older brother and a younger sister. When my brother was off to school, I was about four, five years old. I hadn't gone to kindergarten yet.

I used to just sit and draw all day long. And it was something where I remember being inside of a painting or a picture or a drawing and time would stop. I would be there for almost, I remember starting a drawing or whatever and it would turn into night. It would be eight hours have gone by, and it felt like literally 20 minutes. And I got better and better. But this is the deal, too, is that I was always, always disappointed as an artist because it never looked the way I wanted it to look. So every drawing, every painting became this effort

to make what was in my head match what was on the paper. And I'm still doing that. I mean, in regards to performances, in regards to drawing, in regards to my furniture, in regards to all the things that I've ever tried to do, it's still not as good as it is in my head. And that's crazy. It's weird, but I think my whole life has been trying to match up with this thing and this vision that I have in my head. And I don't think I'll ever get there, but it's fun to try.

So I want to dig into a few details of this because you're a very understated guy. So you used to paint portraits of football players as a means of making money. Not only that, but you had an art scholarship before you had a football scholarship. Is that right? That's right. So this isn't just me as a professional courtesy trying to paint a holistic picture of somebody bigger

than what you see on screen. This guy is a real artist. And that's speaking of someone that I wanted to be a comic book penciler for about 15 years. So throughout college and everything, I was an illustrator trying to pay some of the bills. I was a very, very bad bouncer. not built for it. And I suppose a mediocre illustrator.

But I really, really appreciate that. And how did art serve you through these 17 to 20 lives that you seem to have led? Man, you got to know. I mean, growing up in Flint, there were a number of obstacles. I mean, crazy, crazy obstacles because I grew up in the, I mean, at the height of the crack epidemic and also the demise of the auto industry. So there were two things happening at once, and they were both horribly bad. I mean, it was like the 80s, probably late 70s, all the way through the 80s into the 90s was literally the walking dead. And it was real. I mean, you had people who were cracked out.

I had friends, family who one day, you know, when they were good people, the next day they were stealing everything you had. All the way to everyone you knew were losing their jobs. And it was a panic. And I remember there was two ways out. And one was through music and performing. Another way was athletics. But art never, you couldn't get paid doing art. You know what I mean? It was kind of, everybody's like, that's a wonderful picture, but it's, you're a starving artist. That's the whole term, you know? And I remember just saying, okay, I'm going to do this art thing, but I had to do the football thing too. And these were my ways out. Now, I didn't believe that I was

actually going to get any kind of light as an artist, but I had one teacher, one man, Mr. Eichelberg. I'll never forget this. And he was like, he said, Terry, you are an amazing artist. He was like, I'm the art teacher. You're better than me. And he said, you can go somewhere with this. And I was like, okay, but you know, nobody's going to pay, you know, nobody's going to pay me to do this. Nobody, it's, it's, it's good, but I got to use football. Well, he filled out all the applications for me and I didn't even know. This is crazy. And he took my pictures and my paintings and everything that I did, he took and got them photographed, did all this stuff, sent them to Interlochen Arts Academy. Now, Interlochen is this world famous.

Big deal. Big, big deal arts camp up in Northern Michigan near Traverse City and you study with people from all over the world and he he literally came to me and told me he got already filled out everything and he said Terry you have a scholarship from Chrysler full ride to go to Interlochen Arts Academy and I was like what are you talking about like you know first of, I didn't think it was possible. This is the deal. There's a lot of things, you know, it's weird because you got to let people believe in you. But I didn't believe in myself.

And when I got a chance to go to Interlochen and study with people from Europe and from Brazil and from, and these was mainly music students. And then they had art students and it was just as like, and coming from Flint, I mean, coming from the hood. And then once I, this changed my life. Once I, I remember we had an, and it was really big on competition, very, very big on competition. It was like, if you were a violinist, you had to be the first chair and second chair. And I remember all these kids were disappointed because they kept moving down and they would just feel like they were crushed. And the same thing with art. They gave us two paintings. We had to do two drawings and we had the whole class doing

all these drawings. And they said, put your drawings on the wall and don't put your name on them. We have this guy coming from the Cleveland Institute of Art. He's going to judge each painting. And we want to see who's the best. And I was like, oh, man. And so I did my deal. And it was a wall full of art. And the art guy pointed at mine. And he said, that one's the best one.

Then he went all the way across the room and he said, that one. And they were both mine. And I was like, now, life is a confidence game. Because then you couldn't tell me nothing. I was like, damn it, I'm good. I got too arrogant. Then I got arrogant. I'm the best one here. And then you have to be humbled some other way. But that let me know. I was like, wow, I can do it. I can do it. Like, I'm really as good as these people. This is all over the world. And then I got a scholarship to Western Michigan University in art. But it was small. It wasn't full ride, but it was a small deal. So I got an art scholarship and walked on to the football team.

And my mom passed away about almost three years ago and she always would tell me she was like whatever you do i know you're doing all this football stuff you're doing all these other things but never forget you're an artist babe you're an artist I'm telling you, when I see what I'm doing right now, and I get to do so many things that so many people never got to see. I get to go so many places and do so many things that none of the people who wanted to were able to. I feel like there is a responsibility, but also if I don't do it, everything they've gone through, it's nothing. You know, so the way I approach things is really, it's kind of for everyone else. You know, I have to try it. I have to go for it. And I knew even as I was doing football and I was doing all this stuff, I remember once, because football was hard. Football was a very, very, again, another competitive deal. You know, you would get on the team and I would get cut.

I was like, I have to depend on this art thing because this is what got me here. And so I would go back in the locker room. And this is how I was married. I had two kids at the time. I would go back in the locker room and go to the players and I would ask them if they wanted their portraits painted. And the weird thing is, they were like, oh man, come on, man, you can't do it. And I was showing my portfolio and they were like, damn, dude. And I was like, look, man, I'm going to paint you over this big, you know, I'm going to put you and you're going to be a giant over the city and I can have wings,

you can have wings and you can do it. And let me tell you, you know, football players are the most egotistical people in the world. They were like, oh, damn. Yeah, man. I want the wings, dog. How much for them wings, man? You know, I was like, oh, yeah. And I would do these masterpieces. But, you know, I have to tell you this, too. I did have a scam. I had a scam. This is the scam in college. In college, I would, because what happened is I was playing football, but when you play football, you don't get money for supplies. You only get book loans. See, scholarship is a jip. All you guys, I'm telling you, the NCAA is a jip, dude, the whole deal. You are not a student athlete. You are semi-pro. That's all it

is. There's no student in it. I'm just putting it right now. And what was crazy is that I was like, hey, but I want to study art. They were like, why don't you just study business or something so it's easier to get by? Because the whole thing is just getting by. Take a class so you can go to football practice. But I was like, I'm an artist. They were like, okay, whatever. So I would go to these labs, and I would make, and this is what I had planned. In the summer, I would make probably 10 paintings, and then I would make four of them really suck.

They would be really, really bad. And I would bring those in in the beginning, and these were these labs, and I would go to the teachers, and I was like, man, what's wrong with this like help me out here you know he was like oh Terry oh my god look okay we're gonna work on your perspective and we're gonna do this and I was like yeah I know help me and then I'll go home and then I go to practice for like a month and never do anything else because I had the paintings done then I bring another one in that was a little bit better. And let me tell you, I did this the whole semester,

and then I would bring out the masterpieces. And I would lay it in. I'd say, look how much you helped me. You took me from here to there, sir. And they were like, you get an A. You are awesome. And again, the whole thing was a scam. But I had to survive.

I had to find a way to stay in school. Because this is the thing. A lot of people don't know is that they could take your scholarship. It was crazy. It was one of those things where you are there as a body. And if you don't perform they'll find a way to get rid of you so obviously i'm not that's a whole nother subject see you you mentioned surviving you strike me as a really well adapted survivor i mean you've been

through a lot you've experienced a lot in your life and you mentioned very briefly backstage i said uh no i want to talk about this yeah in front of everybody a vow that you and your uh was it your brother or your friend made the vow that you made oh yeah could you explain that give the the story of that from your childhood well first of all i what this the deal. I love to demystify. Okay. When I was a kid, no one would tell us anything. Anything. Like, and you got to understand, growing up in Flint, Michigan, it's a factory town.

And it's literally crabs in a bucket. Like, if you told people, they would, like, and I said this before, but people would say, you know, you can do anything you want to do, Terry Crews. You can do it. And you tell them what you want to do. And they're like, what the hell you know, you can do anything you want to do, Terry Cruz. You can do it. You tell them what you want to do. And they're like, what the hell make you think you can do that? And you're like, wait a minute, man. You just said we can do anything we want to do. You just said that.

And I would call them on it. But what was wild is because, again, of the factory town, everybody drove the same car. You had the same house. You had every, everything was the same. You went to the same stores. There was this one house. You had every, everything was the same. You went to the same stores. There was this one place called Meyer 30 Acres. Everybody would go. You would find all the same food. It was the same clothing. Everything was the same. And I didn't want any of it. And I remember just asking people, how do you get from here to there? Like, what's the secret to

this? And what's the, one day you're going to find out. You just got to tough it out. And you're like, come on, man. You know, I'm nine. All right. I didn't want all that. Right. And so what I did, me and my best friend made a vow. We made a vow that whenever you learn something that I don't know, you are going to have to tell me. And if I learn something you don't know, I'll promise to tell you. And this is how I got through my whole teenage years. Because no one, let me tell you, my father, he was a drunk. He was abusive. He beat my earliest memory is him hitting my mother in the face as hard as he could and her getting knocked out.

And I knew for a long time that I had to do something to get out. What that does to a five-year-old child is that you realize, okay, first of all, he says he loves her. And he just knocked her out. So what is he going to do to me? So I remember trying to be very, very strong as a young kid. I remember I would lift up couches, lift up, you know, make muscles. And the whole thing was like I was obsessed with becoming strong. And what was wild is that right along with that, you had to be smart.

Because this is another thing that's crazy, is that, you know, in masculinity, we always say, hey, man, you know, we never negotiate with a terrorist. Never. But if you talk to a real negotiator, you always negotiate with a terrorist. Non-stop. Like, first of all, I had to negotiate with my father. When he got mad, it was like, hey man, you want another beer? What you need? Hey man, I'll turn on the TV. Okay, what are you doing? Okay, everybody be quiet. Everybody be quiet because he's here. And don't say, I spent all my young days negotiating with that. Then you go outside and you got the drug dealer. You got the bully. You got the gang member.

You're like, hey, man. So I walk on this side of the street or this side of the street. Are we cool? Okay. Oh, you don't want me to go over there? All right, cool. Yeah, all right. I didn't talk to you, girl.

I didn't talk to your sister. I didn't. I didn't. Dude, so you're negotiating that. I go to football and that world, and you're negotiating with coaches. Let me tell you, I had a coach who was like, hey man, I like Tyrone. I'm going, this is a white guy. He's like, I'm going to call you Tyrone. I said, my name is Terry, coach. He said, I like Tyrone. Your name is Tyrone. He called me freaking

Tyrone. Do you know how abusive that is? How demeaning that is. But I had to negotiate with this guy because he had my dream in his hand. And I was like, what am I going to do? Okay, this is my way to make money. This is my way out of Flint. This is my way out of doing whatever I got to do. You're Tyrone.

Okay, I'll be Tyrone right now. That's what I have to do. You're Tyrone. Okay. I'll be Tyrone right now. That's what I have to do. And it's so wild because you realize this negotiation thing keeps playing and it plays out in different ways. You know what I mean? And I'm going to have to bring it up because I want to bring up what's happening in Hollywood right now. Because you have a lot of people who are negotiating with terrorists. You're negotiating with people who are holding your dreams in their hands. And it's kind of wild because, you know, again, I've been through all this. I mean, all the way from my dad, all the way up to Hollywood. You spend 20 years building this career and I freaking have to negotiate

with a terrorist for my own dream. And I'm sitting here like, wait a minute, man. I don't have to put up with that. I don't have to do this. I don't have to put up with it. And it's kind of wild because you have to put up with it and it's kind of wild because you have to get to a point in every job and everything

when you just had enough like there was times in the hood when I said I had enough and I fought back there was a time with my dad I said I had enough and I beat his ass there was a time now

when I've had enough with this shit and I beat his ass. There was a time now when I've had enough with this shit. And I said, no more, no more. This I'm not going for. And it's wild because you give people a shot. You give people a shot. You give people a chance to make things right, to say, hey, man, you know, you're not doing me right. right. And this is the deal. I've learned, too. I'm sorry. I know it's probably some questions, but I'm going off. I'm tired of hearing myself talk.

I know. My wife says he damn near interviews himself. That's the deal. That's why she's not here tonight. That's the lazy man's interview. The monologue. Lazy man's interview. I hate it.

I got so much damn shit to say. No, it's just trying to get it off my chest, man. It's just, I'm getting off my chest because first of all, it's so wild because, you know, once you reach certain spots and you have to negotiate with these guys long enough to get what you need, to get what you have to have, and then you can move on. And when I look at what art has done for me, and when I look at, you know, because right now I have a furniture collection, a furniture, Bernhardt gave me a collection of furniture, and I kind of, you know, segued into that, and I still do art. And I still paint. And I still draw. I plan on literally having art shows.

I mean, later in my life, just really becoming full-fledged, you know, with painting and drawing and the whole thing. But one thing is that it's really something that no one can take from me. Like, it's something I can do all on my own. And I don't care. There's no, I don't have to, you don't have to like it. If I like it, it's okay. And it's become one of the things that in my life, that's what art is. It's literally subjective. It's what you want to see. And again, it's all about, can I get this vision that's in my head on this piece of paper? But now it's almost like I want to, my life has turned into art. I want the vision of who I am and who I want to be, to be out in real life. I like to call myself a motivational doer. I hate talking so much. I'm a big talker, as you can tell. But the big thing is, I want to back everything up with action.

I want to be an action figure. Like, always, always back it up with movement. Don't talk about working out. You can do it all day, but do it. And that was the big, big distinction I've seen, especially growing up in the hood. So many people, man, I'm finna do this. I'm finna, I'm finna. And man, I said, man, well, why haven't you? Why aren't you? And so everything you see me doing, I just say, I'm going. I'm trying. I'm going for it. I don't care. And we'll see what happens.

Okay, questions. All right. Terry Crews. I don't know, Terry. I think the time is up. I think the time is up. We'll be here all week. I know.

All right. So I have two questions related to everything you just said. And it's going to take 10 minutes for me to get them out. No. The first one is related to how you responded to all of those challenges. You have an abusive father. You have an abusive coach. You have all of these various challenges.

And there are a lot of people who I suspect, and I know some of them, who respond to those environmental factors by becoming bitter and not doing so where do you develop your optimism or that ability to be proactive because a lot of people just opt out they feel like the deck is stacked against them and they they choose not to even attempt? You know, this is real, man. I learned it from my wife. You know, for me, listen, I've been a part of this super masculine, you know, the toxic masculine world for so long.

And I had a come to Jesus meeting, so to speak, like literally everything was ending. Like I was a narcissist, totally still am a little bit, definitely. Uh, but I'm working on that. How old are you just to, Oh, this, uh, I would say it's a, it's an ongoing process. I would say, over the last 17 years. You know what I mean? Literally, from 17 years ago to now, it was like, whoa. Especially after football. Once football ended and the entertainment thing kind of happened,

I had to learn you can't fight your way out of things. You have to think your way out of things. You have to think your way out of things. And I noticed how my wife behaved. And I noticed how, actually, how women behave. Because women have to think their way out of all kinds of situations. Whereas guys can, we can muscle our way through and do all this stuff and whatever. But I realized that that was not getting me anywhere. And my wife really taught me that vulnerability is not weakness. That I had to be vulnerable, but I had to be authentic at the same time. And she would always, always talk to me and tell me that, Terry, you have to, you, and she would always tell me the truth like there's nothing more valuable than

somebody who's going to speak the truth into your life and she would constantly tell me this is wrong the way you're acting right now is awful and I'm just like what what I'm like all these other guys because that's what guys do you compare yourself to all the other guys and you say but compared to them I'm good right and you know she's like I'm done, right? And, you know, she's like, I'm done. I'll never forget the first time I had a big job. I remember I got a big movie and whatever. And I remember I was walking around at this party and I had a cigar. And I was walking around.

Man, I had the swag. I had the whole thing. She was like, okay, you can stay over there. I'm going to be over here. And I was like, what are you talking about? What? I'm winning. I'm winning. And she was like, no, baby. Uh-uh. Nope. Nope. And I was like, whoa. And I realized just in those little ways, I was losing her. And so I had to put the cigar down and I'll come back over there. And she said, now that's my degree. I was like, oh, wow. And then I had to be the same way with my kids.

Now, I have two grown kids. Actually, three now. My oldest daughter's 30. I have another one that's 27. And they were the football kids who went through the whole toxic masculinity phase. And I tell the kids all the time, those two, I'm like, look, you want cash, credit, whatever. You get it because I messed y'all up really bad. I did. I messed you up bad. I'm like, I'm so sorry. I constantly apologize, constantly try to make amends because I was too tough. I was too hard. I was way. Now they look at the other ones and they look at you treat them so good. I'm like, I know. I'm so sorry. What can I say? But again, my wife has been the example for me. And I remember when I had, you know, one of the biggest fights that I ever had in my life was an addiction to pornography.

And, you know, I put it in my book, but the whole thing was, I had to, once I realized that I, Terry Crews, thought that I was more valuable than my wife and kids simply because I was a man. And that allowed the pornography to exist in my life because they were objects. And let me tell you, man, I'll never forget. My wife was like, I'm done. I'm out. I've had enough. And then at first I was like, okay, go.

Bye. You know, I'll just find another girl. It'll be all good. And all of a sudden there was a little, and it said, maybe it's me. I was like, no, it couldn't be me. Couldn't be. I mean, come on. She's out in the standing.

She's not in. And everything was looking out like this. Everything was blaming everybody else for what I was going through. And man, that voice came back again. It's like a cracked egg, man. Once that egg cracks, you can't close it up. You can't seal it again. And I was like, man, it is me.

It is me. And man, let me tell you, it was like one day thinking that, you know, the sun revolves around the earth and then somebody going, no, no, no, no, no, no. We go around the sun, dude. And I was like, oh, shit. It's a whole nother deal.

And I went to rehab. I went, you know, because this is another thing in black culture. You don't get therapy. It's viewed as very, very weak. You're viewed as, you know, you're not, you're a punk. You're sorry. And, man, I broke through all of that. And I'm going to tell you, man, I can't.

That's when it all started for me. And then the next goal was to start talking. Because even now, right now, this right here is therapy for me. It's therapy, talking about things, sharing my heart. It helps me to line up what's right in my life. And I have to give this man props too. Because remember when I told you about looking for the answers and looking for the questions, getting questions and trying to find answers. I would go to these books because it was all about finding answers, asking questions, questions, questions. I still have a thing on my social media called the hard questions where I just ask questions, man.

If we can't ask questions, we're doomed. We're doomed. Okay, I'm done. I can't stop talking. See, when I was looking at your history and your book and your backstory, one thing that I paid attention to as a pattern was an uncommon degree of self-reflection. And so I want to rewind the clock a little bit back to high school. And the story, one of the stories that you put in Tribe of Mentors is related to my question related to favorite failures or a failure that set you up for later success.

Could you tell us a little bit about that, please? Oh, man, yes. 1986, that was my senior year in high school. And we were, I went to Flint Academy, and it was a classy school, but we were highly ranked in the state. And I used to be a basketball player. I mean, that was hard to believe now. Basketball was a big sport for me. But I was the starting center on this team.

And what was wild is we were picked to go all the way in the state. We had a superstar on our team and we had a really, really good team. But we played against a school who decided not to play. It was the district championship. It was right at the beginning of the playoffs. And these guys would take the ball down the court and pass the ball to each other at the top of the court and wouldn't play.

And we had a coach who was like, well, you know what? I'm going to beat you at your own game. So we stayed in the zone. So we're sitting there the whole time. And I'm telling you, it was the most boring game of a zone. So we sitting there the whole time. And I'm telling you, it was the most boring game of all time. We just sat there with our hands up and they passed the ball. And if anything happens, somebody went and got it and it was, you score

two and it was just a mess. So the score was really, really low. And they were up 47 to 45 and it was literally under a minute and I'm freaking out because now we're going to it's evident we're going to lose because I'm going man this is a dumb like defensive strategy anyway we should have been going after it but what happened is a guy threw the ball their guy threw the ball cross court I intercepted it And with literally five seconds left to go. And I take the ball all the way down the court. You got to understand, I'm thinking, I had visions of, oh, my God, this is the thing. I'm the hero. You know, the heart is like pounding.

I'm already at the party. You know what I mean? And I go with this layup and I bring it up there and it's totally, it gets around the rim and it rolls off. And let me tell you, that place goes nuts because it was the upset of the year. And I collapsed in a heap. And I know my life is over. And you got to understand. And this is another thing.

Shame among men. It's like, oh, how could you do that? Your other players were yelling at me. The coach, I was in the locker room. He was like, you had no business taking that shot. And I stole the ball. It wasn't like, we didn't have a shot anyway. But he was like, you had no business taking that shot.

You should have passed it. Man, it's your fault. And the people, and everybody in the room was like, yep. And I was like, they didn't let me off. And I remember just going, oh, my God. And I went in the paper, and the paper the next day was like, Terry Crews had a shot, and he missed. And let me tell you, it was the most dark.

I mean, when you're, you know, 16 years old, I was, I mean, beyond crushed. One guy was taunting me. I got in a fight after the school and the whole thing. And I was just like, this is awful. It's horrible. And so it was a couple of days went by and I was in the deepest bump. I'm sitting on my bed and I shared my room with my brother, but for some reason he wasn't there because I always remember him being there. It was kind of crazy. I don't ever remember being alone except that time. And I remember being alone and just thinking about, man, I should have passed it. I should have passed it.

Maybe I messed up. And, you know, what else could I have done? And then another little voice, it said, I took the shot. I took the shot. And I was like, I did. I did. And I kept thinking. It was like, man, look, when you had the chance, when everything was on the line, you took your shot, man.

You did that. You did that. And all of a sudden, I was like, that's right. That's right. I took it. And I learned from then on, I said, man, wait a minute. If I win or if I fail, it's going to be on my terms. It's going to be up to me. I, if I have the opportunity, I have to go for it. And then I felt really good about losing the game. It was real. It was totally, now, this, you can call it reframing. A lot of people have scientific ways or psychological ways to, you know, to do things, but I learned always to kind of reframe things so that it's to your advantage.

You know what I mean? And you look at these things like, wait a minute, you took the shot, man. And this is another thing, because what's so crazy is that no one ever remembers that game. It's one of the least important things in my life. But the lesson I learned is still guiding me today. The fact that go for it. Take your shot. Take your time. When you get that thing, when you have that opportunity, don't mess it up. Because this is another thing. And I want to tell you Tim the scariest thought ever is one thing that blew me away is that you really do get what you want and let me tell you what I mean there have been times when you can be self-destructive and you think it's something else or you think, like I discovered for a long time, like if I show up late for something twice, I don't want it. And you get what you desire.

Everything about you, you get what you want. Now, the way your life is, truthfully, you want it. And now that's hard. That's hard to say, because a lot of people are like, no, wait, there's so many other options. It's this, and this, and this, and this. But the truth is, is that if you wanted something different, you'd change it. And that hit me. Like, it's scary, because if I failed, or if I didn't, if I showed up wrong, or messed up on something, I was like, I didn't really do what it took to get it. And again, that comes from taking that shot way back in high school.

But now I realize, okay, get rid of any what I call self-sabotage and you can achieve whatever you need you know this is this is such a pattern that I've seen across interviews that I've done we were talking about Jamie Foxx backstage and deep but it goes all the way across the spectrum say Debbie Millman who's a well-known graphic designer and she realized at one point and then made her mantra you know busy is a decision like you can't yeah you're disallowed from complaining or responding to someone when they say, how are you with a complaint that you are busy? Because that's a consequence of your decisions. When did for you books enter the picture as a force that began to mold you or guide you? Do you remember? Because there were,

for instance, I mean, there's a book that you mentioned when I asked in the book about those books you've gifted most to other people. The Master Key System. The Master Key System. Okay. All right. So that's one example. But I'd love to hear you talk about that, certainly. So maybe we can start with that. When did that show up for you? Wow. Again, I am a self-help book nut. I therapize all the time. I have audiobooks going nonstop. And I've been doing that for almost 25 years. Literally. I've probably read everything. This is why I'm a big fan of yours. You're like, there are only these Tim Ferriss books left. Damn it.

Been avoiding this guy for months. Oh, man. But, you know, when I got this book called The Master Key System and what was wild to me, it broke down some things in ways that I can understand. Because you hear certain things, but you have to hear things in a different way so that you can grasp it. And one of the concepts in the book is that in order to have, you have to do. And in order to do, you have to be.

And I sat, and I would contemplate this thing a lot. And I was like, what does this mean? Like, what does this mean? And it, you know, cause it sounded like gibberish. It sounded a little bit like what is, is what was, will be, you know, that kind of stuff. What will be was, but will be again, you know, like, okay. But, but once you really examined it, is that, and I'll bring fitness into this. Yes, please. With fitness, you know, you are fit before your body ever gets in shape. You have to be fitness. Like, you know,

every person who lost 200 pounds can tell you the moment way back then when they knew they were going to be their ideal way. That's the moment they, it was be, it was my ideal way. I'm going to be that. And then your body just goes right into it. I heard a great quote the other day. It's like, follow your heart and your body will catch up. And I think that that's the way it is with everything. And that Master Key System book broke it down where I had to say, I always had dreams of like, man, one day I'm going to have money. One day. And I said, wait a minute. I'm rich. I'm rich now.

And this is the thing., didn't have a penny. But when you do things and you say, okay, now that I'm rich, what would a rich man do? This is really important. Do you see? What would a rich man do? And I started doing things that rich people did. And once I did it I had it. How. Do. Be. And I was like oh my god it works! So I started I bought like 20 copies okay I handed it out to family members and they were like come on what is it? I had people that were like, oh, thank you. Merry Christmas. I want some money. But it was so funny because I was like, guys, you've got to understand this. You are what you are now. There is only now.

This is all you have. It's like if someone, and I had to try to break it down, where if you were trying to get to LA and you didn't know you were already here, you just keep walking, you keep going, you'd be all over the place until finally you realize, wait a minute, I'm here. But that's kind of the way fitness, success, any goal, any aspiration, you must be it now. That book, the thing you want to write, or that thing you want to accomplish, you have to be it now. You are an author.

So now what do authors do? Authors write. And when authors write, they have a book. And I'm telling you, it sounds really, really, really simple, but once you get it forever, you'll never think of anything the same way again. This is something I want to underscore, and I'll give a close cousin example that's really helped me.

So, for instance,, I've been really impatient. And for a while, that aggression and impatience was an aid and help in certain places, but it very quickly, in excess, became a huge handicap and a big problem. And so I would surround myself with people who were more patient, more tempered, calmer, like one friend of mine named Matt Mullenweg. Some of you might know who that is. He's a technologist, incredible guy. And so I started asking myself

when I was going into situations that I thought might trigger me, what would Matt Mullenweg do? Wow, yes, yes. How would Matt respond to this email before I freak out and start throwing haymakers and have to do cleanup for a week? But that's an example of, if I were Matt right now, this isn't it. Even though I haven't

magically turned into Matt, but if I were, and I acted like him, what would I do? And I started making better decisions. And then lo and behold, over time started to then develop those characteristics. So I think it's, it's a really important point that you're making. And there's another question I've been dying to ask you, and it relates to a juxtaposition that I hope you can explain the subtleties of a little bit. So you are and have been called the hardest working man in Hollywood, and that sounds like a cliche,

but you have so many different projects and have lived so many different lives. You're incredibly productive. And going along with that, when I asked you, and this was one of my favorite parts of what you wrote, bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise.

And the quote was, work hard to beat the competition. And this is what you said, which actually is very close to what people like Peter Thiel and other people say. It's very, very similar. The truth is that competition is the opposite of creativity. If I'm working hard to beat the competition, it actually prevents me from thinking creatively to make all concepts of competition obsolete. Right? Right. And I'd love you to expand on that or give any examples of how that has helped you in to do in life was very competitive.

And I mean, sports, entertainment, you know, it's always been about, you know, it's funny because the whole thing is like, hey, man, it's a dog eat dog world, you know. But dogs don't eat other dogs. They don't. Have you ever seen a dog eat another dog? I've never seen it. That happened. And I was like, wait a minute, you got to start questioning this stuff. You know what I mean? Because we take that like, yeah man, you know, we got to fight to do this. And what happened was, see, I bought in. I bought in. This is how I know it doesn't work. I bought in. I was hook, line, and sinker about being competitive. I was out to beat everybody. I would look at people. I would look at you and smile and want to destroy you. That was my whole MO. And I became a very fake person, very duplicitous, very sly, very cunning, very clever,

but there was no real substance because it was all about beating the other person. The NFL teaches you. What's so wild is that you have players that are on the same team and they would play one against the other and they would plant things in your head and say, you're a little old or you're too young. You don't know what's going on. And I'll never forget one guy is an older player. He was like, I said, oh, what are we doing cover two? He was like, go left, go left. And I went left and they were like, Terry, what are you doing and I went and I looked over at him and he was like and I knew he set me up and I said wow

this competitive shit is hard and so then it was about it's literally it's it's scorched earth what happens is when you compete you're just trying to beat you. This guy next to me, this guy, we're at top, we're at top. I'm trying to be the best. And all of a sudden, it's like you focus all your attention on beating that guy. But when you're running, you really can't look at the other guy and really run an effective race. And then because they say, you know, life is a race and the whole thing. So you say, okay, I'm going to just look straight ahead. But life is not a race.

It's not even a race. It's a marathon. And then you realize it's not even a marathon. It's a trail run. And what's crazy is that there are people who are out here running on this track to beat each other. When all the gold and everything you're supposed to get is way over here on this mountain. And you just walk over and get it. And that is creativity. Creativity, there's no running. You just do you.

The idea you have, and I'm'm gonna give you a great example when i was approached to do a furniture line for bernhardt i didn't know what i was doing i had no clue but i did i but i did know this do not compete don't try to beat whatever's out there already so i created this whole thing and i would sit in my room. I have an office. And I would sit in this office. And I was thinking, like, man, what would happen if modern furniture, if Egypt was a culture that, you know, existed today? What would furniture look like in Egypt? And then I just started drawing. And I just started creating. And I started making. And let me tell you, it went for days and days. I came up with so much stuff because I wasn't thinking about anything. I threw away the

book. I was like, just what would I do? And let me tell you, when I got done, I created this thing called the Lily Pad. And what's funny, the chairman of the company said, Terry, no one has ever created anything like this before. I said, y'all, come on. I really thought he was joking with me. And then I had all these other designers come and they said, this lily pad thing, it's a chair on a table combined, no one has ever done that. You're kidding me, right? And that, let me tell you something. I literally did Fallon just the other day, and we were doing interviews on Jimmy Fallon in my lily pad chairs, and he was like, no one did this. And it's winning awards. It's doing all this stuff. And I'm sitting here flipping out because the creativity is where it's at.

If I'd have been trying to do a better chair than you, it would have looked like a chair. This would have been something that everybody had done. But maybe a little tweak over here, a little tweak over there. But when you are creative, it takes you to a whole other place. I mean, there are musicians, artists, businessmen who decided, wait a minute. Because, I mean, you look at what Steve Jobs has done. If he tried to make better records, he would have never come up with MP3 and never come up with iPod. You know, it's like you have to be so far in your own self that, and this is the greatest thing, is that there's no one else like you. There will never, ever be.

The world will never, ever see another you. Ever. Ever. No one will ever even have the timbre of your voice. That's what's so crazy. And no one can ever do anything like you. So everything you really want to do is original. That's just the truth. And once I started to see that and know, and also it's a confidence game, because you have to know that your viewpoint is just as viable. Because for one, I have to say, you know, sometimes as a woman or sometimes as a person of color or where you're from or where you got, you feel like I don't measure up. You feel like, ah, you know, they're not going to see me.

But I had to fight that. I had to fight all that. I am creative. I'm not competing with you. And another comparison I like to say is Fifth Avenue. You go to Fifth Avenue. If Gucci was every store on Fifth Avenue and Gucci won, Gucci won Fifth Avenue. You go to Fifth Avenue, if Gucci was every store on Fifth Avenue and Gucci won, Gucci won Fifth Avenue, no one would go. You need the success of Gucci,

Prada, Bottega Veneta, Louis Vuitton for your thing to be successful. You need other successful restaurants because some night they're not going to feel like that they want yours but if everybody ate the same thing we would all we all hate it and so this is why now and and as an actor I used to get very very jealous you know you see a billboard or something you audition for you're like man I, man, I hate that dude. Man, he ain't that good. But now, wait, now, let me tell you, once I got it, I look at the billboard and I say, man, his success is my success. Because the bigger he gets, the more opportunities for me. And that's the truth.

That's not even mumbo jumbo. It's not a joke. If everyone here is successful, it makes you more successful. And once I knew that and realized it, it was no going back. Terry Crews category of one, right? It's easier to create a new category than to compete. I love it. So I want to ask one or two more questions,

and then we'll go to audience Q&A. But what I'd love to know is, as a father, you have five kids, is that right? Also a grandfather with better skin than Tim Ferriss. I need to learn your secrets of moisturizing. But didn't have time to get to the gym. I'll be hitting you up later for those questions as well. But what advice would you give to a new parent or someone planning on having their first child? Father, mother, or both?

First of all, it's not that big a deal. You know, and this is because you overdo it. You're going to overdo it. Everything. It's got to be the right school. Let me tell you something. My oldest daughter had a whole nother life I didn't know about. I'm just, I'm not kidding. You're like, oh yeah, I did it right. And it's like, wait, what? What was that? You had a whole nother what and you go okay all your preparation all you have to do is never shame them ever never shame them and and literally love them till they can't till they can't stand it anymore and i'm telling you this because i've made those mistakes. I remember shaming my kids. When, you know, the thing is shame is horrible because it tells you you are bad. Guilt is good

because it says you did something wrong. But shame, oh, and this is what I say when I messed up my first two, you know, it feels good to shame. You feel like, hey, I'm doing a good thing. You know what? Shame on you. You know, you should, you know, how could you do something like that? You say something like that to your kids, it's bad. Because then they're internalizing it.

And what I also realize is that it's not every, they're going to be fine but you spend so much extraneous energy and time trying to do things and figure it all out for them when you have to let their consequences teach them perfect example this is a perfect example i love this example we have i have a tv at home and what would happen is I would be gone and I would come home and I would find the kids had watched TV for like eight hours. I'm like, what are y'all doing? This is crazy. Like I left you watching TV and I come back, you're still watching TV. This is nuts. So when I turn it off, they were like, oh, I hate you. And it was wild. And I was like, man, I'll turn it off. And so what I did, I got this thing called a Bob.

And Bob is a little box you attach to your TV, and it plugs in through the TV, and every kid gets a code. And you could set it for a half hour, hour, two hours, whatever. So I was like, okay, you kids are only going to watch TV for an hour. So I set it for an hour and the whole thing. And they come in with their coat and I would leave there watching TV. And I come back, they're sitting there like. And I'm like, what happened? They're like, Bob.

But see, this is the deal. I'm like, did you watch your TV? They go, yeah. And I said, okay, well, you did good. They go, okay. But they weren't mad at me. You understand what I mean? It wasn't, it was their consequences. They did what they were supposed to do. They played it all out. And now they are feeling the effects of their consequences. They are feeling their own discipline as opposed to me always behind them. Pick up your stuff.

No, no, no. Why aren't you doing this? Why aren't you doing that? And all of a sudden, the kids just are like, he's going to do it. And now, this is the great thing about being a grandparent. You're like, hey, they're going to be fine, dude. Send them home. Bye-bye. But just don't be that into it and let them feel their own consequences.

It's a beautiful thing, man. And it's hard. I promise you, your first child, it's going to be hard. So one of the things I really appreciate about you and that led me to want to reach out to you is how forthcoming you've been about your difficulties and some of the challenges you've faced because I think a lot of folks we see on magazine covers and so on unfortunately give people the impression that they're flawless they have it all figured out and then people feel uniquely flawed in some way that they're damaged because they're not that person that's unachievable could you share with us

a story of any dark period in your life and how you found your way out of it things that helped you to navigate your way out of it there's a lot of dark dark time you know what? I'm going to share this story, which changed my life. I was first, I was literally just got my first job in entertainment. I was on a TV show called Battle Dome, where they literally put me in a cage, and I

fought my way out. It was so entertaining. It was pre-MMA. People hadn't seen Blood on TV yet. We were the first. It was so entertaining. But, you know, it was pre-MMA. You know what I mean? So people hadn't seen Blood on TV yet. You know, we were like the first. It was really nuts.

People were bleeding, going to the hospital. It was called Real Warriors, Real Pain. And I played this character called T-Money. And that's actually my wife's pet name for me now. She's like, hey, T-Money. And we called this the Christmas from Hell. Because here I wanted to come home. went home to Flint Michigan with my family now you got to understand my kids at the time I had three I have five total now but I had three kids at the time and the girls were and they were all girls they were

very small they had never grown up with violence in the house. Okay. They'd never seen it. And so I told my father before I came, I said, Hey man, don't act up. Do not act up. And he said, I ain't going to do nothing, you know? And I'm like, okay. So I'm bringing on a family. I know it's Christmas time. So just relax, man. And we're going to be there. It'll be fine. So we get there. We're having a good time. My wife and I are going out. We actually are driving to Detroit to hang with friends. And I get this call. And it was panic. My aunt called me. He said, Terry, your daddy hit your mother in front of the kids. He got mad. He knocked her tooth sideways.

And I'm going, I told him. I told him. Now, literally, I stopped the car. We turn it around. I tell my wife, okay, we're going to go over my ass. You take the kids, go to my ass house, the whole thing. I'm done. I'm dealing with this. First of all, I went in this house. He had the nerve to still be there. And I said, dude, what are you doing? He was like, shut up, leave me alone. I can do what the hell I want. Boom! Let me tell you something.

I beat this guy for about an hour. He was pleading for his life. I was like, I'm not a child anymore. I am a grown-ass man. And how does it feel? You are about to get what my mother has felt. And I laid it on him. He was hurt, bleeding, laid out.

I'm surprised I didn't kill him. And I felt not one ounce better. I remember falling on the ground, crying in tears. It didn't make me feel one bit better. Not one. Like, now I was just down there with him. And I said, this is the revenge I've dreamed about my whole life. And now, nothing?

Now I'm just like you and I remember just feeling empty cold just I don't know it was the dark it's probably the darkest place I've ever been because this here's the man who's the reason I'm here and I put him in his place, so to speak. And I'll never forget, it was just the most hollow, hollow feeling I've ever had. We got out of there. It took me years to overcome that. Like, we got out of there.

I got the kids out. We never came back. I mean, we were like, forget the holidays. We're not doing this. But after years of therapy, and this was literally about six or seven years ago. And what I'm talking about happened like 99. Okay. So I go back.

And I go back to my father. And I've been listening to things and trying to do this thing correctly. And I remember I just said, I have to find one thing that I can tell him that he did good. And I said, and we called him Big Terry because his name is Terry too. So they said, Big Terry, man, I want to thank you because if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here. And if I had to choose my parents, I'd choose you because the truth is, he's the reason I'm here. If it was another person, I'd be another person so I said if I had to choose my parents I choose you let me tell you something he he just broke down he said Terry I'm sorry I'm sorry for beating your mom I'm sorry for everything I did. Listen, man, those words broke him down.

He cried in my arms for about the same time as I was beating him years earlier. And I was like, this is not hollow. This feels good. This is healing. And I said, man, I have to use my strength for good. Because everybody can knock somebody out. But to give a hug with muscles is a whole other matter. And I said, that is how,

that's the vulnerability. That's the authenticity. That's where real healing takes place because shame wants punishment. It just wants to get back. Boom, boom. And it's temporary. But guilt develops discipline when you admit I was wrong.

Shame is when secrets and you don't say anything, but guilt says I did it. I'm sorry. And then you develop discipline to change. Man, again, it was one of the darkest periods in my life, but totally reversed. And I decided that's going to be my life. This is who I am. Now, some people got their ass whooped. I'm trying to tell you in between it now. Because I'm trying to tell you, one thing is some people try to take that and

be like, ah, I can put you on my, hey, get out of the way. But what I want to say is the big thing was that I knew that would never be. The only way I would ever use that is to protect. It's to protect. Not to get back. Not for revenge. There's a time but I'm telling you man that was a period

that I learned forever now again my father I wish I could say he changed he kind of went back through his old ways but I'm healed

and I did the things I needed to do and that's it thank you I did the things I needed to do. And that's it. Thank you. Man, I've been looking forward to this interview for a long time.

Thank you for that as well. And I'm going to ask one more question, then we'll go to audience Q&A. And it's related to a question that I posed to you in the book because whether it's looking at some of your early decisions as a child or the toughness that you showed in athletics or doing what other people might consider risk

risky by trying to create your own category in many different worlds or having that second conversation with your dad I think there's a quote that really exemplifies you and it's actually a quote that you gave me in the book and it was was in answering the question, if you could have a giant billboard anywhere with anything on it, what would it say and why? And it begins with God will not. Could you give us that quote, please, and explain its importance? Oh, man. God will not have his work made manifest by cowards. Ralph Waldo Emerson. It's my favorite quote. I literally have it on my dressing room, put on the wall in giant letters. Because, you know, fear begets more fear. But courage just begets more courage.

And, like, you don't even get to be born unless your mother has the courage to have you. Any great thing, any, just from literally creating a business to making art, it takes this courage. It takes this willingness to be looked at, to be judged. You have to face down your fears. And you have to step outside and go. And it helped me to just lay out what I was afraid of. Because that's the big thing. You know, you have to ask yourself, what are you scared of?

And then you have to attack. You literally have to lay out. I remember, now you tell about your swimming experience. I was always, you know, when you grow up in the ghetto, they kick you into the pool, and these are not good experiences, okay? And so, you know, we didn't grow up on a nice pool and a beach and a whole thing. It was like the hood, and it's like, oh, man, it's not good. So my first experience was horrifying. I almost drowned. And so one of my fears was swimming. And I remember when I had a house with a pool, and I remember going in the

backyard and just diving into the deep end over and over again to get rid of the fear. And it's weird because you get near the edge and you go, oh, man, here I am. I have to beat it. So I'll just jump in and just keep jumping in and keep jumping in until you're not afraid anymore. Because remember, it's a confidence game. And that quote, just when you think about anything that's made and anything that's created, anything that you see that you admire, takes so much courage because people are going to judge it. And people are going to say, ah, that sucks.

You know, especially in the age of the Internet, whoo-wee. You know, everybody's coming in and chipping in with whatever they have to say. And you have to be willing and you have to be vulnerable in order. This is why vulnerability is actually strength. Because the vulnerability is part of courage. You have to be willing to let people judge your stuff. Willing to let people hear your song. Willing to let people judge your stuff. Willing to let people hear your song. Willing to let people hear you sing.

And it's so wild. Because I'll never forget. I've got a story for that. The first time I ever got a movie. It was a big movie. It was with Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was called The Six Day. And I'll never forget.

I thought it was going to be like a quick roll. It turned out to be a big job that worked six months in Vancouver. And I'm like, I thought it was going to be like a quick roll. It turned out to be a big job that worked six months in Vancouver and I'm like, oh my God. And the first day I was on set, I had to say this line, Adam Gibson, come with us. You know, please come with us. And I remember they said, action. And I walked up on Arnold and I was like, Adam Gibson,

we need you to come with us. And he walked up on Arnold, and I was like, Adam Gibson, we need you to come with us. And he turned and looked at me. And I was like, oh. I was like, damn it, that's Arnold Schwarzenegger. And wait, and I mean lightning fast. All these, everything went through my head like, you don't deserve to be here. You're just a dumb football player you are a farce these people are going to figure you out you are fake you're a phony you

fooled everybody it's a wrap they're going to find out they're going to kick you out of here and that's lightning fast and then something was wrong with the camera they were like oh you know what we we got a problem with the lights, and we got to give us five minutes. And this was all split second. And I remember because I froze, and I know I froze. And I remember I just went to the side, and I was like, Terry, okay, you survived the NFL. And after I left the NFL, I was sweeping floors. I was doing security.

And then I went to acting. And I said, do you want to go back to sweeping floors? Do you want to go back to security? I said, man, go in there and say these lines, man. And I literally was cussing myself out. It was like, yo, get some guts, dude.

And I walked back in there and they were like, actually, I was like, Adam Gibson, you know. And Arnold was like, this guy, I like his energy. He's got a lot of, it's amazing. I like him. It's really, and let me tell you, after that, I learned, go in. Rush in.

Rush in. There's never been a time. I've been acting for freaking almost 20 years, and there's never been a time. And that's why I want to demystify this thing. There's never been a time that I don't have those bubbles right before action. Never, ever. It's always there. Don't let anybody trick you and act like, oh, man, I'm good.

If they're that good, they don't care. I'm trying to tell you, if you care, you're going to always be nervous. You're going to always have to face it. But when you walk in, it turns into a mirage, and it just starts to disappear. I remember on a set of white chicks, it disappeared. I remember I was rolling, and Keaton and I were weighing. I was like, you got any notes, Keaton? He was like, man, do what you do, man.

And I remember just flowing. And let me tell you, you know, people who know, and I had a lot of people here who understand it. If you've ever been in a flow, it's amazing. Like there's a time when all the writing just comes. The lines just come. The job is smooth. You're like, man, I could do this all day. That's by practicing facing that fear, fear, fear, just going in, going in, going in until you hit that zone.

Man, it's a high like you will never, ever, ever experience. I encourage everyone, and I'm here to demystify it. You will be nervous, always. But go anyway. It's beautiful. Terry Crews. All right. I talk too much.

I could listen for hours. My wife has had enough of this. She'd be here like, oh, my God, can we get out of here? So we have a number of audience questions. I think we'll just jump right into it, and then if they're directed at one or both of us, we'll just play some improv jazz here. So this one is from Anonymous, my favorite person,

especially on the Internet, but this is a good question, and I'll pose this one to you. Imagine your 95-year-old self time-traveled and came to you right now. What advice would he give you? My 95-year-old self time-traveled and came to you right now. What advice would he give you? Ooh. My 95-year-old son. Self. Sorry. Oh, my 95-year-old self. Okay. Yeah.

I was like, okay, that's a deep one. That's a movie. Back to the future question. That's a movie right there. Okay. What would he tell me? Yeah. If your very old self came back to this moment and were to give you advice, what would he tell me? Yeah. If your very old self came back to this moment and were to give you advice, what would it be? Hmm.

I would like to think he would tell me, you're doing the right thing. Because actually, and to be honest, more so now than ever, you start to wonder. You know, I'm going through this whole, you know, I'm part of this whole sexual harassment thing that's going on in Hollywood,

and you start to doubt, like, should I have come forward? Should I have said anything? I don't know because I don't know. Because I don't even know, and I'll be straight honest, I don't know if I'm going to have a career. That's just real. The people I'm talking about are very, very powerful. They run everything.

I'm just me. And they're very angry. So retaliation is one thing that happens. But this is the truth. This has been happening to women for centuries. Centuries. They've been trying to do their thing, just trying to go to work. They rebuff some guy, and he's going to fire them and get his revenge.

And they end up getting their dreams messed up. But I want my 95-year-old self to say, you did the right thing. Everything worked out. And I have to say, it's kind of dark because you just don't know. But also, at the same time, I like it here. I like the adventure.

I like not having everything planned out. I told you even coming out here, I don't want to know the questions. I just want to go off the head because this is where the excitement is. You know what I mean? I've never wanted to be safe and comfortable. I mean, it's exciting here. And another thing is that with every person that comes out after and says, you adding to the story helped me.

Courage begets courage. And that's the way it's supposed to be. I'm with it. What was that? Thank you. Thank you. So this is a question about changes. And this one's directed at me.

But I'm going to also ask you. Since you've turned 40 years old recently, what lifestyle changes have you made, if any? Mostly depends and ensure. That's not true. I decided to turn my head upside down and put my hair on my face because I can't grow it on top. Honestly, the lifestyle changes are not changing what's worked. Does that make sense? I've heard at every, what people would consider milestones, whether it's 25, 30,

40, they're like, oh, it's all downhill from here. It's all downhill from here. And I'm like, yeah, you're saying that because you stopped doing everything you're supposed to be doing. It's like, I'm just going to keep doing the very simple approach that I have that's regimented. It's certainly, I mean, your warm-up would kill me. It would send me to the ER probably. But I have my simple approach that seems to work, and it's really not using excuses to stop doing those things

because they seem to keep me strong. So not many lifestyle changes. The only major change that has become very important to me, at least in the last six to 12 months in particular, is paying tremendous attention to trying to fix a lifelong habit of berating and brutally attacking myself with my inner voice. I've been extremely unkind to myself most of my life, and we don't have enough time to unpack that right now, but yeah, some bad things happened to me

really early, and that made me very angry, and I used that anger as a tool, but as it's been said, you know, the anger is sort of the acid in the vessel. It damages the vessel more than anything it's poured on, and I've really realized that in the last six to 12 months that if you want, this is my conclusion at least, like if you want to love people fully, if you want to share your gifts with the world, you cannot do it if you just tolerate yourself. You cannot do it if you don't love yourself. Sounds like an indulgence. It did to me for a long time. It's not. It's not a nice to have. It's a must have. So that's psychologically, emotionally, the biggest change that I'm trying to make. Now you are, even though you look 23, are about to turn the big 5-0. I'll be 50.

So what lifestyle changes have you made? Or what are the most important habits that keep you looking 23 well uh i've been doing intermittent fasting for about five and a half years and man that was the most valuable lifestyle change uh for me um you know i found that now again i i see people who are much younger than me. I really wouldn't recommend it for a 20-year-old just because you can eat like four pizzas and be fine. You know what I mean? But as you get older – and I grew up in the bro science era where it's like seven meals a day.

Get your oatmeal. A lot of that. And so it blew me away. I read this book called Man 2.0 and Engineering the Alpha. And I was like, this is crazy. Like, you know, it was unthinkable that my god you only eat eight hours in a in a day in a 16 hour fast and i do it every day now some people have seen the benefits uh one day a week the whole thing but for me i do it every day so what does your schedule look like it's uh i eat

from two to ten um and what's wild is that you know i have amino acid drink tea water when i'm fasting and then my first meal is that two and sometimes it goes beyond it because sometimes i'm not even hungry until like 3 30 and like even today i had just one meal. And I don't feel bad at all. I mean, I learned to get by with less food. I feel more energetic. And to be honest with you, I think more so than physically, it's a spiritual thing. I think for me, everything that is within your grasp is not meant to be in your hand. Learning and teaching yourself to say no. And you tell your body what to do. You say no.

Because what happens is your body will always lead you wrong. You know, if you listen to it, you're going to have a problem. And I, you know, there were years where I listened to it and it got me in all kind of trouble. And so now I'm like, no, you're going to do what I tell you to do. And you're going to eat when I tell you to eat. And it really, really is an amazing thing. And there are lots of scientific ways to prove that it does well. But for me, it's a spiritual thing.

What is your, I can't help myself but ask a couple follow-up questions here. What is, do you have a default or go-to first meal? A go-to meal that is your first meal of the day? Oh, yeah. Omelet. Omelet and salad. What is in the omelet? It's usually bacon, a little cheese.

We've got a lot of bacon supporters in the house. Oh, yeah. Bacon is a gift from God, man. God will not have his work made manifest without bacon. That's Terry Crews. No, man. Bacon, you know, the healthy fats and the whole thing. But a little cheese, bacon, in an omeletelet along with a great salad or some vegetables right there.

And that's my go-to meal. I can eat that any time. Like, that's the first thing I usually have any time when I break my fast. That's it. And it's light enough. It doesn't feel heavy. I've tried, like, grabbing a big, bready sandwich before, and it's just, oh, my God. You go to sleep immediately.

It's so nuts. But that's the kind of meal that I love. All right. Omelettes for me tomorrow. Let's see if I make it to 3 o'clock. All right. This question is very hyper-specific. I'll take a stab at this.

Seems to be addressed to me. This is from Tia Carrera. Is she here? Amazing. Hi. Thanks for coming. All right. So this is very... Thank you for coming. This is a really specific question. What are your thoughts on cryptocurrency and could you maybe interview Mike Novogratz on your podcast? So Mike Novogratz, well-known investor, has recently made the statement that he has, I think, 5% or 10% of his net worth in cryptocurrency and blockchain. Fascinating guy.

I actually know Mike. I've gotten into some scuffles, not in a bad way, with Mike because we both have wrestling backgrounds. He's a much better wrestler, and he supported the USA Wrestling Program. And we met actually in several places, but in Iowa when I first met Dan Gable, who's a hero of mine, legendary coach who ended up in this book. So yes, I'd like to have Mike on. And he's actually the brother, which I didn't put together until Jacqueline was already going to be in the book. But Jacqueline Novogratz is also just an incredible, incredible woman. So they have an amazing family. So yes, I'd like to have him on

the podcast. And I'm sure he'll bust my balls half the time. He's a very tough dude, which I invite. That's perfect. My thoughts on cryptocurrency are there be dragons on the map. I would say be very, very careful. I'm not a cryptocurrency expert. I do know a lot of experts. And I, even though I own a little bit of cryptocurrency, I'm very, very cautious to not take the DIY approach because there are a lot of bear traps.

And I will say that I think most ICOs are going to end up giving people nothing. I think many of them will be regulated out of existence. And the technology is very sophisticated. And there are also very sophisticated technologists who can trick most people into giving up their money for something that will end up poof just being vaporware so I think that cryptocurrency and blockchain have the potential to be as important as what we consider the internet and I'm really borrowing from some of my smarter friends in saying that having spent 17 years before moving to Tejas before moving there 17 17 years in Silicon Valley, I really know some very, very smart people. And actually, like Vitalik, the creator of Ethereum, and Zuko, the creator of Zcash,

and many of those folks, because I'm so interested in it, are all in Tribe of Mentors. I wanted to kind of get them all in one place to see what patterns came out of it. Did that with poker players too. I tell you, you shouldn't take all of my investing advice. But I would say, much like picking stocks, you're up against professionals. So you wouldn't bet on yourself if you were playing golf against Tiger Woods. I would hope not, unless someone in the audience. It could happen here. It's actually of that caliber.

Similarly, if you're playing on Wall Street or playing in the world of crypto, you're dealing with people who do this all day, every day, and know all of the nuances. So I just say be very cautious. If you have an informational advantage and you're playing with chips you can afford to lose, then I think it's something that's very interesting to explore just as a way of learning about the technology and the implications it might have. So it's endlessly fascinating and endlessly terrifying, I suppose, in short. Was that a cough or an incredible laugh?

I couldn't tell. All right, so here's a question from John, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. When do you decide to mentor someone? What attributes do they manifest to become mentorable? And then there's a bonus old Buddhist proverb, when the student is ready, the teacher appears. How do you decide who to, not necessarily mentor, because it implies sort of like full-time unpaid extra job, but to help someone, to invest in really helping someone. You've had, as I understand, some people

have really helped you along the way. Whether the art teacher you mentioned, Sylvester Stallone, I believe, is another. So when you have the opportunity, how do you choose? You have limited time, limited energy. How do you choose who to invest in? Well, to me, it's a little bit about, not a little bit, it's a lot about desire. It's wild because I've come across, I've had people who were in my circle who said they wanted things. And then once they realized what it took they were out right you know and so now I would anyone that I would be willing to mentor or whatever would have to I would send them on

like little tests I mean really it's like you really have to really want what you're going for and um my wife because I made the mistake before of just making it too accessible, you know, and it's again, it's kind of like, you know, people have to, you have to desire, you get what you want, but there's a lot of people who just trying it out and you hear people who say they want it, and there's so many, so many things. Like me, when I wanted something, I always would go out of my way to, you know,

show that person who I wanted as a mentor that I'm willing to, I show up early, I'm there. But I've had guys who, man, you're like, okay, be here at this time. And, you know, it's funny, I'm waiting on them. And immediately it's like it's over. And everybody gets a shot. For me, everybody gets a shot. Because you don't know until you get that time.

But, you know, you show up late a couple times. I had one assistant who, like, just forgot a whole bunch of stuff that I desperately needed. And you're like, this is just not important enough for you, you know. And then you have to let them go. And what's so wild is that, you know, every time I let somebody go, though, we have a conversation because I want to make sure that it wasn't me. So I'll say, okay, you tell me you're fired.

So don't even have to worry. You can tell me anything you want. Right, right. I was like, there's no hope of you getting your job back. So tell me what I did wrong and tell me what offended you. And I get really honest answers that way. And it has helped me become a better employer or a better mentor. But also, you know, there's been other times when they were just like, dude, I messed up.

I messed up. And I realized that I had an opportunity and I pissed it away. And I was like, wow, well, you won't do that again? On your next job. Because I usually don't go back. That's another thing that I always have to do. I even wrote that in a book about letting people go, and it's part of the process.

So you mentioned letting people go, not just in terms of employees but people in your circle yeah maybe people you grew up with yeah how do you break up with a friend or how do you how do you have that conversation can you give us an example i mean you have to name names of course but this is something a lot of people myself included struggle with like you realize this this is a this is this is someone who was a great apple and they've turned into a bad apple and they're starting to poison the entire group effectively

or have some negative impact, but you've known them for so long. How do you navigate that? Could you give us an example? Well, you know, first of all, we have a lot of talks as we go to say that, hey, man, we have to do this. We have to be held to this standard. Like, I have an example.

There was one person, I told him, you know, he's a single man. But I also said, hey, man, you have to understand that I'm a married man. And if I hear any drama about women in your circle, that's going to be a no-go for me. Because, you know, you have to treat every woman with respect. I don't want any of that coming to me. And I said, you got to understand, because if it is, and if it happens once, I'm gone. And he was like, oh man, that would never do good. I understand. I know, man. I got your thing, man. I understand what you're talking about until it happened. And I went, dude, what did I, remember what I told you?

You know what I have to do, right? And he just said, yeah, I get it. You're right. And I said, okay, sir. Hey, man, love you. I love you like a brother. I wish it could have worked out. And it's a very close friend, and I mean super close.

And I said, man, but I got to go on without you. And, you know, it's weird because Hollywood is one of those things that's built on this kind of camaraderie, entourage, whatever. I don't have that. Because, for one, I found that the entourage has you. They know all your things. And they start telling you what you're going to do. And it's like, well, you know, um, and I said, never me. I'd rather go alone and, um, I'd rather walk alone. So, but it's, it's hard because sometimes you do feel lonely. You do feel like, but the higher up you go, the more is at stake, man.

I mean, it's good. Everybody can be down there and you can be hanging and everybody's good. But let me tell you, as soon as you get something, and as soon as it becomes bigger than you and more important than you, you got to let some of these people have to go. They have to. And it's not personal. And I tell them, I love you, but we just can't hang anymore.

And I'll be brutally honest, but not me. You don't have to be mean. Some people feel like you got to, but I've always, I love you, man. But it just, we just can't, we can't hang. So what do you do if you've made that decision and then they reach out to you or you feel the impulse to reach out to them because you've just known them, they've been a part of your pattern for so long? How do you respond in either of those cases? You know, I've blocked people. I mean, you put a phone block on, I've changed my number.

I do that a lot. I mean, and I'm talking family members, family members who are like, man, I have people who call me up and angry because they felt like I should, you know, I should be paying for this and I should be doing that. And all of a sudden, I just disappeared. And you know what's amazing? When the phone rings, you don't have to answer it. That's the trick, you know. It's a trick because you think, oh, no, it's still. I was like, block.

And all of a sudden it was quiet. I was like, wow, this is peaceful. And it got kind of scary because I was like, is anybody calling? I don't know. I blocked so many people. I was like, man, this phone ain't working. But they get it after a while. But now, I tell you, every relationship in my life must be voluntary. It must be voluntary. If I had my wife tied up in the

basement, is it love? No. You know what I mean? I make all my relationships in my life love-based, meaning you want to be here. If you're here, you want to be with me. If you're my, even my managers, people in my circle, you are free to go at any time. Even my wife. If my wife was like, I'm done, I would be like, oh, no, don't leave, please. And she would say, I got to go. I'd be like, dang. I would be hurt.

But I couldn't hold her dang, I would be hurt. But I couldn't hold her because it has to be voluntary. But that works the same way for me too. If I want to go, you got to let me go. If I say I got to go, you got to say, okay, I respect that. I understand. And this way, all your relationships are really good ones. Because everybody wants to be there. And it's a beautiful thing. Thank you.

Take a few more. I know we're running over time. Everybody cool? I'm having fun. You guys having fun? Alright. I didn't ask Terry. Terry, are you okay? No, I'm good. I'm having fun. I'm having fun.

I felt those traps. I don't want those inflicted on me. All right. A few more questions. What advice do you have for an introvert who wants to be an entrepreneur but does not like socializing? This is from Rosa. I'd love to hear your take on this. I'll give a quick, my quick piece, because I definitely view you as an entrepreneur first and foremost. I mean, I shouldn't say first and foremost, but see, entrepreneur, let me just,

not rant, but I'm going to get my words out for a second. Entrepreneur, if you look at the root of the word, is from, and I'll just use the Spanish because it's easier, emprender, to undertake. It's someone who is effectively creating something from nothing. So an artist is doing that. There are many different forms of being an entrepreneur. And you do not have to be extroverted. And all you have to do to realize that is to watch, for example, early interviews with any people you view as tech luminaries now. It's the most awkward footage you will ever see in your life. And then they get

media trained and they'll sit there like, and you're like, oh my God, it's the clown from it. That's really creepy. That is what you think normal humans do. Okay. So you don't have to pretend to be something you're not. You can be shy. You can be introverted. I do think that it is very valuable perhaps as an experiment to do what say Warren Buffett did, who was very introverted at one point and he trained himself in public speaking by going to Toastmasters and so on. I do think that's useful as an experiment to not just assume that you are in some way cursed by being introverted. You may, in fact, have the capacity to do other things, but to be a successful entrepreneur on almost every level, you do not have to be an expert at networking. You do not have to be an expert at

socializing. You just don't need it. So you can definitely do you and still succeed. I don't know if you've... I mean, that is really amazing advice. I think that people have confused boldness with being an extrovert. Yes. But I've seen very amazingly bold introverts who are just, they just know who they are and what they want. And that doesn't, that you don't have to be loud. You don't have to be brash. And it's really, really a cool thing when you see, it's funny when you see a little old lady who runs this gigantic business and she's got her thing together. She's in B she just walk in there with a quiet voice and everybody shakes because they know she's, she means business and that's that kind of boldness that it doesn't take a lot. She just knows who she is and she knows what she wants.

And that's a man. That's all you need. I'm with you. i mean if you're good at what you do and i mean so good and i'm i'm totally stealing this from other people but so being if you are so good that people cannot ignore you like you will not be denied that's right you can i mean look at some of the people out there in the world. They are weird as fucking all hell. And yet, if they're good, it's just like, what are we going to do? I know. The best person out there.

I know. So embrace your weird self, as my friend Chris Sacco would say. All right, so we're going to do last question from the audience, and then I have one closing question for you. What are your recommendations for coping? I'm abbreviating a little here. Recommendations for coping with self-induced anxiety. So I'll just give a few thoughts real quickly because, you know,

in some families you have baseball families. Everyone's good at baseball. Other families, everyone's really good at basketball. I feel like my family, not everybody, but like 80%, 90% professional warriors. This is just their speciality. So I've developed a whole repertoire of different ways to induce anxiety in myself. It has proven not to be very fruitful, I will say, in retrospect. But a few quick recommendations. Number one is there's a

book, and there are a lot of books like this that have terrible titles and actual good content, some that sound like infomercials maybe, that come to mind. But the one I'm thinking of is How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie. And this book is surprisingly sophisticated. It offers an entire toolkit for exactly this. It's very, very powerful. And then I would say last, just for my piece, is some form of the exercise that I call fear setting, which is completely borrowed from 2,000-plus-year-old philosophy called Stoicism. And so I'm cribbing from Seneca and others who have done this practice. But if you guys simply search the word fear setting,

that is something I do probably every month, certainly every quarter for diffusing the anxiety. And those are my two pieces of advice. Actually, the new one, which is in the last year, is something I added to what I normally do in the morning, which is journaling. And that is if I'm feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed, and they're very closely related,

I will ask myself, what might this look like if it were easy? And this could be a project, it could be a decision, it could be a contract, it could be a relationship, it could be breaking up. Asking someone out doesn't matter. And simply asking that question and then writing longhand does a lot to take the nebulous monsters in my head and to trap them on paper and to see that they're actually just shadows. I'm terrified by nothing in effect. So those are a few thoughts, but anxiety. Do you have recommendations for people for coping with anxiety? I believe, I can't be certain on this, but there's a quote

in that Dale Carnegie book about living life in day-tight compartments. Man, you do know your self-help books. I'll tell you. Let me tell you, man. That right there, I take those nuggets and I go...

That is a fine book. It is a good book. It's a, again, we have the same issues. It's all wonderful. Again, those bubbles, that anxiety, the whole thing. And when you're just living, just get today done. Today. Don't worry about tomorrow.

Don't worry about yesterday. Just today. And man, it feels like all the shackles, all the, it just, you start to feel peaceful. And it's a beautiful thing. But that's such a great book, man. It really is. It's so right. Yeah, that's one of the books that I have in my living room on the bookshelf cover out, which isn't a great way to put books on a bookshelf, but because I want to see the covers of certain books so that I'm reminded of them. And if I'm feeling like I'm going into a tailspin or beginning to get lost in some way, I know that I can pull that off and go through the highlights. It's a fantastic, fantastic book. All right, last question, which I think I said 75

questions ago. Terry, Terry, what would you like to say or ask as just parting words? It could be an ask of everybody who's here, who might be listening on the podcast. It could be a suggestion, anything at all that you want to ask of people or simply say i guess um the big ask that i have for everyone. Is that. And this is one quote that. Really, really gave me a big, big perspective. Is that people are not objects to be used.

They are people to be loved. And my big ask is that you see everyone as people to be loved. Because, you know, and one thing I see now in America, especially with the partisan, everybody's Democratic or Republican or this or that or black or white. But we're people to be loved. And that sounds very cliche or whatever, but when you get down to the heart of it, when you look at another person, see them as a child. We're all like kids. And that all of a sudden you can see it much more differently because you can instantly

love a child. You can feel the love for a child. A child doesn't know. A child is figuring it all out. And the truth is we don't know. And we're all figuring it out. Just please, please, please, before you call somebody an asshole on the Internet, you know, or before you send on that tweet that's going to tell everybody off, just know, know that this is a person that needs to be loved. And there are a lot of people who are getting off on what you don't know and they want to treat you

like an object and treat you like property and treat you like people who things are bought and sold whatever and whatever but man i just ask that if you ever get into that stop and think of them as people to be loved. Ladies and gentlemen, Terry Crews. Oh, you guys. Oh, my God. So good. Thank you all for coming.

Thank you very much. Love you guys. Speaking of which, thank you for coming. Hey, guys. This is Tim again. Just a few more things before you take off. Number one, this is five bullet Friday. Do you want to get a short email from me? Would you enjoy getting a short email from me every Friday that provides a little morsel of fun for the weekend?

And five bullet Friday is a very short email where I share the coolest things I've found or that I've been pondering over the week. That could include favorite new albums that I've discovered. It could include gizmos and gadgets and all sorts of weird shit that I've somehow dug up in the world of the esoteric as I do. It could include favorite articles that I've read and that I've shared with my close friends, for instance. And it's very short. It's just a little tiny bite of goodness before you head off for the weekend. So if you want to receive that, check it out. Just go to 4hourworkweek.com. That's 4hourworkweek.com all spelled out and just drop in your email and you will get the very next one.

And if you sign up, I hope you enjoy it.