The Tim Ferriss Show - #468: Books I've Loved — Cal Fussman

Starting point is 00:00:00 books i've loved on the tim ferris show is exclusively brought to you by audible there couldn't be a better sponsor for this series my dear listeners and readers i have used audible for so many years as long as i can remember i love it audible has the largest selection of audiobooks on the planet i listen when i'm taking walks i I listen while I'm cooking. I listen whenever I can. And if you're looking for a place to start, I can recommend three of my favorites. The first is The Tao of Seneca by Seneca. If you want to hear my favorite letters of all time, touches on stoic philosophy, calmness under duress, etc. The next is The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman, G-A-I-M-A-N, one of my favorites. Even if you're a nonfiction purist, this is the fiction book that you need to listen to. Neil also has

Starting point is 00:01:14 perhaps the most calming voice of all time. And third, Greg McKeown's Essentialism, subtitle, The Disciplined Pursuit of Less. This is one of my favorite books of the past few years. Combines very well with the 80-20 principle, but more on Audible. Every month, Audible members get one credit for any audiobook on the site, plus a choice of multiple Audible originals from a rotating selection. They also get access to daily news digests from the likes of the New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and The Washington Post, as well as guided meditation programs. And here are some other amazing audible features, and I use a bunch of these. You can download titles and listen offline, anytime, anywhere. I use this feature even when I could get access. I'll put my phone on, say, airplane mode,

Starting point is 00:01:59 because I don't want to get bothered with notifications when I'm taking a walk to clear my head, and you can listen to titles offline in a case like that, or on a plane or whatever. Obviously, I'm not flying much these days. The app is free and can be installed on all smartphones and tablets. You can listen across devices without losing your spot. And WhisperSync is another feature I use quite a lot. I love reading my Kindle in bed, for instance, then picking up at the same exact spot where I left off when I go walking and listening the love reading my Kindle in bed, for instance, then picking up at the same exact spot where I left off when I go walking and listening the next day. Kindle and audio versions can be synced up automatically. It's just amazing. And if you can't decide what to listen to,

Starting point is 00:02:35 don't sweat it. You don't have to rush. You can keep your credits for up to a year and use them, for instance, to binge on a whole series, if you like. Audible offers just about everything. Podcasts, guided wellness programs, theatrical performances, A, if you like. Audible offers just about everything. Podcasts, guided wellness programs, theatrical performances, A-list comedy, and Audible originals you won't find anywhere else. And right now, Audible is offering you guys, that's Tim Ferriss Show listeners, a free audiobook with a 30-day trial membership. And again, my list, if you want to check them out, The Tao of Seneca, The Graveyard Book, Essentialism. Those are just three.

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Starting point is 00:03:28 audible.com slash Tim. Hello, boys and girls, ladies and germs. This is Tim Ferriss. Welcome to another episode of The Tim Ferriss Show, where it is usually my job to sit down with world-class performers of all different types, startup founders, investors, chess champions, Olympic athletes, you name it, to tease out the habits that you can apply in your own lives. This episode, however, is an experiment and part of a short form series that I'm doing simply called Books I've Loved. I've invited some amazing past guests, close friends, and new faces to share their favorite books, describe their favorite books, the books that have influenced them, changed them, transformed them for the better. And I hope you pick up one or two new mentors in the form of books from this new series and apply

Starting point is 00:04:14 the lessons in your own life. I had a lot of fun putting this together, inviting these people to participate, and have learned so, so much myself. I hope that is also the case for you. Please enjoy. Timbo! This is Cal Fussman, the host of Big Questions Podcast. I say that with great pride and thanks because if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have my podcast. Not only did you have me as a guest on yours, twice, but then you kept on nudging me to start my own, and then you helped me set it up. And it's transformed my life. So much gratitude, brother. I know you like to ask this question about books and the beauty of it is that you can get a different response from someone in 2019 than when you asked them in 2016

Starting point is 00:05:11 because they might have read 100 or 150 new books during that time. I do have to confess a weakness here. I generally don't stop and wonder, what book should I read next? Nearly all of my reading revolves around who I'm going to interview next. A lot of the people I've interviewed for Big Questions or Esquire Magazine over the last two decades have written books. So that's the bulk of my reading. And this leads to my recommendation for your listeners. Actually, a couple of recommendations I'm going to make here. I know you'll get behind these recommendations because these books were written by somebody I first heard on your podcast, the tidying up guru, Marie Kondo.

Starting point is 00:06:01 I got a chance to interview Marie on stage at a recent event for Rakuten. Marie is that company's ambassador of joy. And I've got to say, I think she's one of the most unique people on the planet. Certainly a master at what she does. In fact, I walked away from the experience thinking she's a genius. Tell you why in a second, but first let me mention the book she's written. First is called The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and subtitled The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. She might've had an editor declutter that title a bit, but hey, it became a New York Times bestseller

Starting point is 00:06:43 and it sold 9 million copies. The second book is called Spark Joy, an illustrated masterclass on the art of organizing and tidying up. When we were up on stage, I wanted to give the audience a taste of Marie's writing. So I read from a section about storing socks. It's on page 80 of her first book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. And I've got to say, I've read Shakespeare, Dostoevsky, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Mark Twain. This section written by Marie is one of the most original thoughts I've encountered. I never thought I'd see socks brought to life on a printed page, but listen to how Marie looks at them. So I'm going to page 80. The title here says, Storing Socks, Treat Your So socks and stockings with respect.

Starting point is 00:07:46 And here goes. Have you ever had the experience where you thought what you were doing was a good thing, but later learned that it had hurt someone? At the time, you were totally unconcerned, oblivious to the other person's feelings. This is somewhat similar to the way many of us treat our socks. I visited the home of a client in her 50s. As always, we started with her clothes, we moved through her wardrobe at a smooth pace, finished the underwear, and were ready to start organizing her socks. But when she pulled open her sock drawer, I could not suppress a gasp. It was full of potato-like lumps that rolled about.

Starting point is 00:08:36 She had folded back the tops to form balls and tied her stockings tightly in the middle. I was speechless. Dressed in a crisp white apron, my client smiled at me and said, It's easy to pick out what I need this way, and it's quite simple to put them away as well. Don't you think? Although I frequently run into this attitude during my lessons, it never fails to astonish me. Let me state, here and now, never, ever tie up your stockings. Never, ever ball up your socks.

Starting point is 00:09:18 I pointed to the balled up socks. Look at them carefully. This should be a time for them to rest. Do you really think they can get any rest like that? That's right. The socks and stockings stored in your drawer are essentially on holiday. They take a brutal beating in their daily work, trapped between your foot and your shoe, enduring pressure and friction to protect your precious feet. The time they spend in your drawer is their only chance to rest. But if they are folded over, balled up, or tied, they're always in a state of tension, their fabric stretched and their elastic pulled. They roll about and bump into each other every time the drawer is opened and closed. Any socks and stockings unfortunate enough to get pushed to the back of the drawer are often forgotten for so long that their elastic stretches beyond recovery.

Starting point is 00:10:26 When the owner finally discovers them and puts them on, it will be too late, and they will be relegated to the garbage. What treatment could be worse than this? Well, Tim, all I can say is I've never balled up a pair of socks since. And Marie showed me how to fold a pair of socks on stage. Anybody who wants to know how to fold a pair of socks can turn to page 99 of her second book, Spark Joy. There is a full page of illustrations devoted to sock management. These two books and my talk with Marie on stage have really changed the way I think. They've liberated me to see the

Starting point is 00:11:15 things that I own in a different way. If they are not completely useful or they don't spark joy, Marie recommends offering thanks to them. And then it's sayonara. When she goes into somebody's home to tidy up, she has a system. She starts with clothes first, then papers and books, then sentimental items. She's found it easiest to make decisions on clothes.

Starting point is 00:11:43 Sentimental items come last because they're the hardest to part with. Now, I got to admit, Tim, I needed Marie very badly. I've had a lot of experiences in my life, and quite often I've kept physical objects from these experiences as mementos. I'm beginning to worry that I might need five houses to store them all. I needed a way to pare down the motherlode. So what I did was bring a few sentimental items on stage with me to see if Marie could tell me if I should keep them or get rid of them. I hope what transpired will compel people to buy those two books.

Starting point is 00:12:27 The first item was very unique. Never seen another like it. It's a small garbage can made out of wine corks. The corks are glued together in a circle. And at the bottom, the bin is held up by a base of magnum champagne corks. I laughed the first time I saw it. It was in the office of the best sommelier in America at the time, Andrea Emmer. Now, she's Andrea Emmer Robinson. Andrea's office was at Windows on the World at the top of the World Trade Center. This was back in 2000. I didn't know much about wine back then. And Andrea was helping to teach me how to be a sommelier for a story I was writing for Esquire magazine. In fact, for one night in 2001, I did become the sommelier

Starting point is 00:13:21 at Windows on the World just before the hijacked planes came in and took down the towers on 9-1-1, which is one of the reasons that this garbage can is still with me. See, what happened is that Andrea was leaving for a more advanced position in cleaning out her office. She didn't know what to do with this garbage can made of wine corks. I think somebody had gifted it to her and probably they didn't know what to do with it either. I couldn't imagine what anybody would do with a garbage can made of wine corks. I even remember making fun of it. So as Andrea cleaned out her office, she passed it on to a public relations person who was standing next to me when I made fun of it. About a year later, this public relations person left her job for a better position and remembered me making fun of the wine cork garbage can. So, as a sort of gag,

Starting point is 00:14:19 she passed it on to me. I didn't know what to do with it, so I put it in my basement where I stored my wine, and I did find a use for it. I began to toss inside this garbage can the corks of the really good bottles that I enjoyed. That way I could save the corks and the memories inside these corks. I went on to do my night as sommelier at Windows on the World. It was one of the best nights of my life. And very soon afterward, the towers were taken down on 9-1-1. Now, this full story takes a while to tell. And if anybody wants to read it, they can Google cocktails before the collapse on Esquire.com. Bottom line here is I was so shaken by the entire experience, it took me 10 years to write that story.

Starting point is 00:15:12 Anyway, this garbage can made of wine corks was the only physical thing left that I had from Windows on the World. I couldn't get rid of it. I moved across the country, and over the years, some of the champagne cork legs began to fall off, but I just couldn't bear to throw out this garbage can

Starting point is 00:15:34 into a garbage can. Now, having read Marie's books, I knew her M.O. If it sparks joy, yeah, keep it. If it makes your insides go ka-ching, yeah, keep it. But this garbage can made of wine corks contained many layers of emotions. It was filled with the corks of some of the great tastes of my life and some incredibly happy moments that came with them. But it was also filled with a profound sadness that to this day has no depths.

Starting point is 00:16:12 I had no idea how Marie would react to all this. When I told her the story, there was a gasp from the audience, a hush, and then a prolonged silence. Nobody knew how Marie would respond. She took the garbage can of cork in her hands. And I'm telling you, Tim, it was almost like watching a shaman

Starting point is 00:16:36 reach into the spiritual being of this garbage can of wine corks. She closed her eyes as if she were using all of her powers to pull out the essence of my experience. And then she turned to me and said, keep it. Tim, I'm telling you, when she handed it back to me, I wanted to hug it like a baby. I never thought I'd ever love a garbage can like a child, which goes to prove this is not about things. This is about spirit. So I was very excited to show her the second item. It was a photo of me boxing with Julio Cesar Chavez

Starting point is 00:17:27 when he was a junior welterweight champion of the world. At the time, he had 87 wins, no losses. I think it was 84 knockouts or so. And in this photo, I'm landing a left hook on his jaw. Photo's framed, about two feet wide by 18 inches tall, captures one of the best moments of my life. In fact, it's a wonder I still have my life after I got in the ring with him. Thankfully, Julio had a sense of humor about the session. We did it for a magazine story. I definitely told that story on your podcast so people can hear it there. Here's the thing.

Starting point is 00:18:05 Anybody sitting in the audience in front of Marie and I had to know how I felt about this photo. Ka-ching! Ah, but there was a catch. Does it bring you joy, Marie asked. Oh, yes, I said. So much joy that you know what I did? I had the same photo blown up to the size of an entire wall from my office so that every day I go to write, I can see myself in the ring with one of the greatest fighters who ever lived. And not only that, but actually landing a punch. It's a daily reminder to me

Starting point is 00:18:46 that whatever I can dream, I can do. So Marie, I tell her, here's the problem. I have this same photo filling up an entire wall of my office. What should I do with this smaller one? Well, an outside observer looking at it now might see it as pretty large. Marie took the photo in her lap and slowly circled a hand over it. I'm telling you, Tim, it was like she was burrowing into the depths of the six months I trained to get into the ring with Julio. Every punch I took in training, every sit-up,

Starting point is 00:19:26 every time a medicine ball got slammed into my gut, she turned to me. Keep it, she said. Now, I was beginning to get a little nervous, Tim, because if she was as attached to my sentimental items as I was, if she was that attached to those items, I was in big trouble. I'm telling you, Tim, I just moved, and my wife looked at the boxes filled with mementos that were filling up the new place, and she just flat out asked me,

Starting point is 00:20:01 what is this, a home or the Cal Fussman Museum? Well, I definitely need to get rid of some stuff. So I pulled out my next item for Marie. I knew this would go directly to her heart. It was a beautiful fan from her homeland, Japan. Her face lit up when she saw it. There were a lot of Japanese people in the audience. Rakuten is a Japanese electronic commerce company founded by Miki Mikitani. The audience wanted to know the story. The handle on this fan gave way to an oval that looked like parchment, and on this parchment were illustrations of a festival in Kishiwara. It's called Danjiri. Every October, half a million people fill the streets to watch this festival.

Starting point is 00:20:58 It's a wild parade of wooden floats the size of old-fashioned stagecoaches that are ornately carved and decorated. They have to have been built hundreds of years ago. And there are long ropes in front of each coach. I mean really long ropes, long enough to fit 30, 40, 50 young guys dressed in black who line up to pull these floats through the streets at blistering speeds while other guys are dancing on top of the floats and waving these fans. Then everyone eats crab and drinks beer. Well, I always wanted to go to Kishiwada and run with one of these teams. I was told about this festival by a Japanese woman back in 1994, but my wife had just gotten pregnant and it was not the time for me to run off to this festival.

Starting point is 00:21:54 So this Japanese woman gave me this fan as a way of saying, I hope one day you will get to the dhanjiri until you do have this as a memento. Well, it's been 25 years. I never got to run in the dhanjiri, but I still have the fan. Does it spark joy, Marie asked. Oh yes, makes me very happy. She took it in her hands and lifted out the spirit. And she turned to me. Give it as a gift to someone in the audience, she said, and make plans to go to the festival. The crowd applauded, and many people in the audience approached me afterward and asked for the fan. I gave it to the first person who came up to me,

Starting point is 00:22:47 a man who promised that he would never give it away. Now, a friendship between that man and I may come out of that exchange, but something else occurred to me, something I didn't mention to Marie, that told me how truly great her powers are. You see, Tim, when I first brought this fan home, I noticed that my wife was not a big fan of that fan. My wife's Brazilian.

Starting point is 00:23:18 She was pregnant and hormonal. And now that I look back upon it, she certainly didn't like the fact that I was treasuring a gift I'd received from another woman. I'm sure my wife was jealous of that fan from Kishiwada. So Marie had removed the jealousy from my home, put me in the position to make a new friend, and then nudged me to run in that festival where those experiences might take me to even greater places. And I will go to that festival, and who knows where it will take me. Now, I realize that not everyone is going to be able to trot their clothes and sentimental

Starting point is 00:24:06 items out for Marie Kondo and have her tidy up their lives. But you see, that's why I'm recommending her books to your listeners. I believe they will turn your listeners' homes into sacred space. Cheers, brother! that provides a little morsel of fun for the weekend. And Five Bullet Friday is a very short email where I share the coolest things I've found or that I've been pondering over the week. That could include favorite new albums that I've discovered. It could include gizmos and gadgets and all sorts of weird shit that I've somehow dug up

Starting point is 00:24:58 in the world of the esoteric as I do. It could include favorite articles that I've read and that I've shared with my close friends, for instance. And it's very short. It's just a little tiny bite of goodness before you head off for the weekend. So if you want to receive that, check it out. Just go to 4hourworkweek.com. That's 4hourworkweek.com all spelled out and just drop in your email and you will get the very next one. And if you sign up, I hope you enjoy it.

The Tim Ferriss Show - #468: Books I've Loved — Cal Fussman

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